Not a chance.

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I could not sleep, in spite of doing most things right leading up to it. Until 3:30, no sleep was to be had. The alarm this morning was simply annoying. I did not wake until... noon, 13:00? I could not get a thing done either. I think that last was, in large part, due to trying to wake at 8:00, then 9:00, then 10:00 before finally shutting the @#$#@$ thing off. I am simply not sure how to get this thing going again. It is at times like these when I suspect there is something physical. No depression, the weather is good, I have been on the feed bag within reason, many of my worries are tended, and yet I cannot function.

I will get to some physical work today. That is the one thing I did not do yesterday. Shoveling the last half of that last pile of dirt and doing some weed whipping might do the trick. I am planning to do laundry, which did not get done yesterday as had been planned. Finally, I have found several math review sets and will be going over those tonight with whatever time I have. I want to do the physical work right after starting laundry, checking the laundry on my breaks. I will save the mental stuff for this evening. I need a long time to cool down from physical work before sleep can be had. I am going to work on getting to sleep and waking up until I get it down.

I am suffering from aches, pains, and a headache today. I think this is caused by too much sleep. Perhaps I am not turning well, so sleeping too deeply along with that. I cannot be sure. It is not to a level, yet, where that alone will interfere with my function. If I let it go, though, it will become a problem all by itself.

One foot at a time, one task done, on goal created and worked out. I honestly do not understand how people get up every day at the same time. I am not lazy, I do push hard, I do have some smarts, some strength, and a powerful will when I can focus. Then again, I doubt if I would be sitting at 100% disability without having some sort of serious problem. Even if they named it incorrectly, they probably gave it whatever name worked as much as or more than offering a functional diagnosis. It is a mixed blessing. But the disability itself, within function, is merely a curse.

I ordered shirts and pants recently. I ordered large tall shirts, which may be a bit tight still. Which is odd, because extra large hang on me like a nightshirt. I ordered a 40 waist jeans, which seem too loose by a good bit. I hate ordering clothes, it always seems like none if it every quite fits just right... or even close enough for my engineering sort of mind. I need to buy a couple of belts too. I am on the last notches and at the pace that is going, I will truly need a new belt within a month or two. My chest is still 52 inches, it is the gut area that is going (not gone, mind you), perhaps that is the problem with the shirts. But I hate, I mean hate, having so much extra material that my shirts are like mini-dresses and the thing just shrouds me. *shrug*

On to some work... Right, laundry first. Uhrm, and a shower? Nah, I have a baseball cap for middling days now. Baseball hats, or any head covering, is a new thing to me. They aren't all bad, actually... as long as you do not have to remove them in public. Later.