Wow, that one almost hurt.

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I have been doing... fairly well at getting up and going to bed. Sleep time is slipping, getting later and later. Mornings have occasionally slipped, but I seem to be holding the line to some degree. That has been the struggle for a bit now. Little is happening, life is hand to mouth as that battle rages. A battle of turtles, in a way. Nothing happens very fast, no one really gets hurt, but the intensity really is there. Waking early today felt like a victory. I made it to almost noon, and, wham! I saw it coming in my consciousness' rear-view mirror. Like a bicyclist on a highway with a semi bearing down on him, I peddled all my heart and worked the gears and angles for every ounce of speed. The end result... Sleep semi one, cyclist a drooling mess. I do not even remember the collision! Ah, but it was an interesting race to stay awake. Short and bitter-sweet. I do feel like I was run over, too.

I missed getting the trash out. Not vital, I have a big bin which holds many (if I am insistent and I can be) bags. I rarely dispose of two full bags of trash a week. And it is cool enough still that holding trash over a week is no odoriferous affair. It is not that I miss something I intend, it is that I did not do what I meant to do that is important. The action itself, often, is just considered less than important. In this way, most of us have some similarities. Some of you do much more, and have more shots at success (and failure). My chances are few, therefore more important to my sense of satisfaction. Life is difficult when you only have a few shots at self worth and miss even these. I have learned to live with my own disappointment. Though I am no happier with it than anyone else who has shared my life. The only difference is that I have to live with it, they can and have moved on.

Well, I should get to tinkering. Imagine, too tired to play games? Wow, yeah, that hurts. Still, it could (and does) bring a little grin to my face. Sort of like when a child tries to stay up to do something and the nap monster gets them mid-whatever. *chuckles* There is that.