I am taking a risk.

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My ability to function has decreased with increased fluid and blood pressure. None of that seems to bother the doctors. Nor does gaining ten pounds, when I thought the cutoff was about five pounds. My sense of being under water keeps increasing, as well... pulmonary edema, full blown, seems to be just around the corner. I won't go there. While I understand there are other parameters to be watched, I simply won't allow edema to creep back in, for any reason. So, I'm going to do what I feel I must. I will let them know tomorrow... or... whenever I can get my head screwed around doing... making... some calls. Another 20 mg of lasix, in the evening for now. If that doesn't work I'll move it to the morning with the rest of it.

I keep 'oiling' my ears. They should be loose enough to use the bulb syringe to attempt to remove the wax. Two things seem to perplex me. One of them is that I need to get water to as close to body temperature as possible. Oddly, I am not sure how to go about that. The thermometers I have are digital, and the ones with alarms do not offer an alarm as temperatures fall. I am not even sure if they are useful at that low of a temperature. If they do go that low, I would probably have to do a fairly large 'batch' of water, as a small amount would heat too quickly. The other problem is, in the evenings when I would truly consider doing this, I have been extremely tired. My evenings are becoming what my whole days used to be. Focus is off. Then again, I think night time exhaustion is... good. normal. Perhaps a little heavier for me than most, but... it beats being like that all day.

The duct tape does seem to be working on the moles. They aren't gone. But they do look like coop shoppers now compared to steak restaurant eaters before duct tape. They look wasted, pale, and near death. A few more days of tape and I will use one of my pocket knives to... explore. I don't want them to bleed, I merely wish to see if the skin around them will loosen a bit, perhaps to see if they will pop out. Who knows. No surgery, just some investigation. I have been plagued by these darned things before. If this works, I will be eminently pleased. Doctors... they just had me come back, and back, and back, until I gave up on them. Eventually they do go away. But for me, it was years, not a year or two. Gross! *zip* That's all they wrote for you, Mr. Wart... I hope.

Pretty zapped still. Not as bad as earlier. I was hoping to avoid a nap. Now I am just trying to hang on until 21:00 to 22:00. It seems when I try to hang on, I zombify and sometimes, then, can't sleep at all. Such a balancing act. But I am learning so much about how to treat the little problems. Not always successfully, every time, but the tricks are real and often work. A little more consciousness, a little more of an ability to focus, and added memory all lend a significant amount to function. Each is exponentially adding to my function. Combined? I honestly wonder what God ever had in mind for me if I were to be fully functional? Seriously, it's almost frightening. I am almost glad I am ill. I'm not sure I could use what is here, in my flesh. Now I am passing my prime, the onus of excellence is past. But I could still... make a decent life for myself, in a small way. That's good enough for me. It's all I ever hoped.

Well, on to tinkering. Just reading, blogging rounds, a bit of gaming, and cooling down while staying up for a decent night's sleep. Good night. God bless.