Hmm.

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It seems when I fall, sometimes I skip hitting bottom and just keep on going. Laugh, damn you. Thankfully, usually I am too out of it to feel the pain. Beyond falling off medicines I had also stopped drinking and eating. I am so extremely dehydrated my eyes hurt, now that I can notice. There isn't enough fluid in my body to normally liquidize my eyes. I am working on both drinking more and taking my pills again, with regular eating as something of a goal more than a practice so far. You have no idea what it is to truly crawl. No worries, it keeps me humble!

I haven't been very active yet. I have a goal of eating a bit more and starting on dishes and laundry today. I note my friend has called twice today, I might head into town if I can get one load of dishes done and another set to soak quickly. I don't actually feel bad, ill, or such, other than my eyes. But then I doubt if I would feel much whether pain should exist or not. I should say my eyes don't hurt, they just get sticky and my vision becomes blurry for that. I do see the way out and up and am taking the necessary steps. And it is working, slowly of course. There is that.

Wintertime is a more difficult time. Given the circumstances I consider myself to be doing well. I know in the fall or winter, actually potentially both times and several times, I will fall harder than usual. This year has actually been one of my easiest initial seasonal falls since before I truly became disablingly ill. I am getting better, vastly better, in the big picture, here and now. Not fast enough to ever escape the black hole of a bad heart, but enough that I might be gaining traction in my personal life. Perhaps up to the point of finding a wife.

Well, I best get on things. Getting to town would be good. Seeing a friend even better. Have a great day.