Memorial Day.

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I really don't like this holiday.  No, it's good to remember family, friends, and even associates who have died.  It is good to celebrate life, and the bittersweet part of it that is love and love lost.  It is good to get together with family and friends and have a small feast.  For me, I remember some of the lost every other day it seems.  I enjoy life as I live it.  And every meal is a feast for me.  Still, I'm not a working stiff, I won't begrudge you all.  So, enjoy it!

The weather has closed in.  I suppose I could still figure out how to fire up the grill and get something grilled, just because.  And I might too.  I might even drive into town later, whenever I get my legs under me, and see if there is anything good to eat.  Nothing fancy, nothing special, something however that I might be able to make mostly rare.  I love the outside seared sometimes, just to fool my eyes.  Or, really, fool the eyes of other people.  Even my chuck roast is sometimes cooked that way.

Sleep has been great.  Getting to bed has been so natural lately, even with the overcast days.  I am getting to bed before midnight and waking before 8:00, if this morning it did take the first alarm clock to get me ready, and the threat of the 8:00 alarm to get me up by 7:30.  A pot of coffee is on, and I put the whole pot of beans on the heater.  That is lunch and dinner, if I might cook an egg.  If I do get to town, I will probably grill tomorrow.  I am on the higher dose of medicine, finally, too.  If, in two weeks, I am normalized on the stuff and bp is still not coming down I may consider adding just a bit more.  The doctors want double the amount I am taking, and possibly even more, so me creeping up isn't a problem.  For me, I just have to watch out for medicinal wipe-out.  That is worse than even my occasional crashes, deeper, darker, blanker.  And, while I am not extremely active, I am keeping some things... at least in the queue.  I am doing a few small things.  I am keeping fed, mostly.  All good, it keeps the door open from my side, so when an opportunity knocks I have a chance to scramble to it.

With this weekend I have taken all bets off the table and am just enjoying some down time.  But conscious downtime, and there is a big difference.  If you push, and nothing moves, but you are sweating and cursing and sore, did you do any work?  A physicist will tell you that you did not.  God knows I did.  I need some time, sometimes, where I am simply leaning.  That is this time.

I hope you have a great weekend.  Get out with family, friends, co-workers, or even join me in the virtual slacker lounge.  I might even join you in a beer or two.  I think I have some olives left for a beertini.  Love those myself.  Hmm, a snifter of scotch after a grilled meal tomorrow would be nice.  My bottle is feeling a bit neglected.  May your memories be powerful, moving, and every bit as bitter and sweet as you can handle.  There is nothing wrong with that.