Not bad, not bad.

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While I had hoped to be in town a bit earlier, I can't truly complain.  I was able to fill the tank and wash the X for the trip before stopping to get my friend onboard.  It was a hot day, into the mid 90's, depending.  In the city that always means it is even hotter.  We arrived an hour early.  My friend was hungry, as was I, but little time was available for him to eat and I wouldn't have been able to join him, so we waited.  I did stop at a station and bought some candy bars and soda.  He could eat that right away, and if they got me in for a blood draw early I could consume something after that.  As it turned out I had to wait for my appointment before the blood draw.  Still, with that food in us, we were able to do shopping before needing to eat a more proper meal.  Testing my A1C (long term blood glucose) and I buy a soda and candy bar for after?  Yeah, hush.  My last A1C was 12.5 (they want it below 6.0 I believe).  Ah well.  Those are rare treats, mind you.

A bit of shopping went forward.  He checked some prices, bought a few items, and enjoyed himself at the first store.  Then to a meal.  And finally to one final store.  We both loaded up on little nothings, items that are much like dime-store items of yore, and a few better items.  I found a great deal on 9 mm ammunition, bought some reloading components, he bought a case, some tools, primers, and more.  It is simply fun to... not worry about it and just do that once in a while.  On the way home I was stopped, going 61 in a 45!  I had simply missed the sign, and suggested that too the officer.  He was rather polite, and let me off with a mere verbal warning.  Thank you, wherever you are.  Heh.  Oh, and I did slow it down (mostly), being much more careful from then on.  And good thing too, the police were out all over on the way back! 

I arrived home and was entering my house when dinner arrived.  You just can't time things purposefully any better at times.  And it was delicious!  My long term oil was here, so I put that down in the cool basement.  Life is going well.

I saw a new doc this time.  He seems pretty swell.  We discussed some things, made a few changes, added a pill for the burning feet, set up a consult for the heart clinic again, then he set up another heart looksee with the sonigram or whatever.  Every time I see new medic types I ask about my heart.  I keep hoping one of them will just come out and say it, but they won't.  It is dire, extremely dire, but that it has been this way for so long is... beyond their understanding.  I know they just don't know how to tell me I shouldn't be alive, they don't want to jinx it, but the numbers are impossible.  So I... sniff around the edges.  They are impressed, pleased... dubious.  It is like they fear I will die right there on the spot.  It makes for weird relationships.  Even the blood draw guy knew what a 15% ejection refraction meant and was startled to see that I had that.  Yeah, for a man in my condition I am a super man.  Uhrm, for what that is worth.  *grins*

The other day I played a song, about a woman lost.  Some time, somewhere, back when, I knew a woman, loved her.  And she loved me.  What happened I cannot remember.  We did not part by choice.  The parting was final.  I know none of the details, only that, to this day, thinking about it rips me up.  I can't remember some things.  I can remember bits of things.  I know that I, for some short time, actually knew love as it was supposed to be.  And I lost it.  There is much that is gone, dead, lost.  I can remember so little though.  Only that it hurts.  Much.  Too much.  It is not fair that I cannot remember.  It makes getting over it very difficult.  Same with some of the other things.  Tripping around blind while my antagonist moves the furniture, changes the rules, and uses sight.  These things are part of the cross I truly must bear, perhaps rightly, perhaps not.

Oh, but today was a good day.  A great day actually.  I didn't weary too much, even in the heat, even with helping my friend, even with the early start.  I did well.  I made the appointment, did some shopping, and put away the long term fats when I got home.  I am amazed at today.  I will need rest tomorrow, but if I can dig back into the last of the dishes and laundry, I might get some of that done.  If not I will simply enjoy my day, resting as needed.  Later, or... maybe... good night.