The first day off.

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It feels odd not to be pushing to get something done.  Oh, there are things I could be pushing to do.  Dishes and laundry need work, I still need to speak with the people at the hospital about a bill they billed incorrectly, there are dozens of things I could be pushing.  As I said though I need time off from pushing.  Regardless how successful or not pushing is at any time, I have spent months, years, decades, pushing.  Since I was accomplishing little I didn't ever think I should stop pushing, ever.  I have changed my mind.  No, not a permanent stoppage of effort.  I merely need to take a few days off once or twice a month.  I AM getting older.  I have always been ill.  I have never learned how to... simply relax.  I am not even sure that is possible.  But I am going to start giving that a chance.

Sleep for the last two nights has been very good.  Yesterday sleep was broken with a call, but that was fine.  I slept later than usual (in my recent sleep history) for some reason.  Today I woke at 14:00 or 15:00, and easily.  Heck, I'm dressed and ready for... a day of relaxation.  I just don't know what to do on a day of relaxation!  I... simply haven't ever had a day where I wasn't planning something, when I have been aware enough to think.  What... do you do on such days?  I am a bit lost.  Oh, I'll figure something out.

Once the last two pieces of gear, and the year supply of grain arrives, I will be backing down on stocking up.  I will complete the storage, try to arrange it and begin putting it into rotation.  I will begin using the devices for those ends, such as grinding my own wheat and canning meats, as well.  But for the most part, my job will be nearly at an end.  Yes, I may, more slowly, add to stocks as I use them.  And I will look to other needs as time goes by.  There are circles yet to be squared.  And I would like to figure out minor medical training, getting into communications, and possibly welding.  As well as the stock and equipment for those.  But... 

I have read where some in the prep community "feel sorry" for those of us who are like, at best, poor house pets.  The thing is, given my health, I am doing quite well if I will only ever be about that good.  I am not sure what some people expect from others?  Do they expect us to go live in a mountain top commune, like what David Koresh wanted to create?  Seriously, more than having some tools, some food, some this, some that, and the equipment by which to utilize it, there is only so much people can do.  Some of us possibly less than that.  What I have done is a miracle for my health.  It does make me angry at such people.  But I realize they are deluded.  Even if they are as prepped as they think they should be?  It won't be enough.  If these are the end times, or even the end of society as we knew it, there is no way to prep enough.  All of their preps will be as of nothing before the naked faces of the four horseman or their fellow man turned into a mob.  And while I appreciate their zeal, I believe they may have... lost something along the way.

Well, onto my day off.  Yeah, even I grin at the notion.  And while it is true in ways you could never understand simply by looking 'at the numbers'.  If you know me at all, half so well as you may think, you know that this is... a big first.  This is a sea change.  I am not sure if I can handle three days of it, but... that's the... plan.  It's okay to have it as a plan, since I planned it before my days off?  I should have been a lawyer, but I hate the profession.  Yes, yes, I have some friends who are, too.  So shush.  It's the profession I hate, much like a sin... not the people.

Later.