A nap, eh?

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I woke at 2:30, and made it up to... sometime after 7:30 for sure.  I have no idea though.  When my batteries run low memory does not work.  And they were low.  I went in to take a nap.  Give or take, with the sleep I have been getting, a couple hours of nap is all that is needed.  In this case, I "napped" for somewhere between eight and ten hours, roughly.  I have no real idea, just that I finally woke... around 18:30? 19:00?  I did stir a few times in that time.  I wanted to at least feed the girls.  I simply couldn't get the synaptic firing routines in any kind of order to functionally wake or even feed the cat ladies.  Feeding the little furballs is a trick to begin it.  And I have a great desire to see them fed.  But I couldn't rise to feed them, though that trick doesn't always work even when I am successful either.

Still, swimming tomorrow is the plan.  Then maybe a visit with my friend.  My guess is it will be too cold to shoot, though we will see.  He called today, sometime.  I didn't notice until just now though.  I remember holding my phone today, but I don't remember why, so maybe I heard it.  The brain just didn't know what to do with the thing in my hand.  For all I remember, it might have already stopped ringing.  Yep, zapped.  All good though.  As I continue to swim, there is some hope that my world will open up a bit, as it has in the recent past.  The truth is, I will probably always go through times of health and times of nothing, even should my heart become healed.  I think it is patterned into my biology at this point.  Then again, I could be wrong.

Never to worry, I'll keep chugging away.  I am greatly looking forward to the weekend, especially if swimming goes forward tomorrow.  I will need two days off and whatever sleep my body demands.  I need to thaw meats though.  I need, NEED, food.  I'm like a protein zombie right now.  Protein!  Yummmm!  And fats, actually.  Vegetables would be fine, starches would be good, but my body is craving protein and fats like a junky.  I just don't have the wherewithal to provide as I would like or as it seems to want.  I still weigh 280ish (281 and change), but I continue to slim down.  My absolute tightest underwear are now... slipping off.  Gah but I hate underwear slipping under my clothes!  I don't think I'm quite ready for mediums though...  I hate that too.  Being middling between sizes is annoying.  Still, I'll take it.  I'll live with that, and actually happily.  It means I might be able to push into a 36 waist in another month or two.  That'll be down ten waist sizes since I moved here, but only down 20 pounds?  WTF?  Still, I would rather be slim and conditioned and still with mass than without it.  Mass is... a beautiful thing when you know how to manipulate it, and I do.  Now I truly am becoming a bear.  *grwlll*  Food!

Now, my dreams of being a bear, and then another of being an eagle, are making sense.  But I still don't understand being a wolf, not in my modern, recent, current iteration.  Perhaps this too will come to pass.  Yeah, I'm a bit of an oddball.  But, I can't be but what I am?