Okay, so days are sneaking around the other way.

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I kept trying to turn back the clock.  I was so focused on it that I lost track of... well... the big picture.  It seems that somehow I am now simply staying up, rather than waking up, into the wanted time zone.  I hadn't given up, if I have been taking a breather from concern, give or take, for the last few days.  It truly is an awesome undertaking, for me, at times, to try to push a schedule around.  I had simply run out of energy for a few days there.  What was it about a broken clock being right twice a day?  Further, as I said, I am still feeling good.  It isn't like I had a real down, if I was spending most of my energy pushing to stay awake, or wake up, or such.  Nothing else was done.

Which means, with just the tiniest amount of luck, I should be to my swimming lesson today.  I haven't put much into what I was taught the last lesson, other than thinking about it quite a bit.  I will just have to face the consequences and see what she thinks I can or need to focus on today.  I have trimmed my whiskers and will be getting in for a shower shortly.  That should leave plenty of air dry time and mellow time before needing to be in to town.  I should even have enough time to track down my air pump.  I think, after looking at the attachment needed to use my pump for the balance (or exercise) ball, that my pump has one of those attached to it, came with it if I didn't know what it was for at the time of purchase.  I just need to find it.  Bleh...

I signed up for sitemeter, to see if stats would be a little clearer.  I have allowed the site for cookies and such.  Nothing.  I am getting reports, but they are coming back with no visitors.  I get weekly reports.  What gives?  Further, the site didn't let me create a password and it won't let me log in or otherwise change my password.  I have no idea what is up with that, but might give it another go this morning.

Medicine has been going down like clockwork.  I haven't been checking stats or weight because my days and sleep cycles have been so messed up.  Sleeping as little as six hours or staying up a day and a half, trying to force a change, simply hasn't left me in a place where routines can be grounded, or would even be... correct.  Perhaps, now, if my schedule is coming back into normalcy, I can get back into tracking things.  I consider these slips as quite minor, in the big and even little picture.  As I have suggested, these times are better than much of my best times since my early 20's.  Only when I was drinking heavily was life a bit better somehow.  I'm not sure why, but alcohol did help, if it came with it's own set of problems.  Side effects, always those side effects.

Thankfully alcoholism and domestic abuse were not a part of them.  I never could quite figure out why some guys hit their women, drunk or sober.  A case, a fifth of vodka, and a fifth of Yukon and my then woman never feared me.  The woman would laugh at me when I was stupid, even!  While I was drunk!  To my face!  Oh, I would get angry, too, sober or drunk.  But anger doesn't translate to violence for me.  She wasn't a teetotaler, but two or three drinks a night was it.  And she drank so as to not get inebriated.  I was always grateful that she didn't fear me, or fear me doing something wrong... unprovoked... to others.  It's good to be trusted by your woman at all times... uhrm, regarding violence.  She knew what I was otherwise and there was a lot of play in certain... allowances.  It's good to think that, at least for my part and if I wouldn't always explain it to any new woman, she could trust me implicitly, on all matters.  The play now would be... Game.  Then again a woman doesn't truly love a man she doesn't think other women would want, innit.

Oh!  Trash.  Now that I am caught up on that, I won't feel guilty about putting it out.  Good day and later, maybe.