Awake and well. Now to finish the haiku notion.

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Still not back on medication.  No matter how much I try to keep that on my mind, it seems some aspect of me is drifting.  I don't have anything to tether my will, body, and the world so as to make them interact.  It's as if my body makes the finest grade dissociation drug money can't even buy, fills my blood with it, and...  The pain is gone.  I have no idea why my back hurt like that for one day, exactly.  It isn't even grumpy today?  That just doesn't make sense.  I do not exaggerate the pain, either.  It was almost enough that I lost bodily control a time or two.  Weird.  Whatever.

Ah, but some notions have come full circle.  I think I should close the haiku notion more fully, at least as to how they concern real life, applications.  The reason the most recent haiku thread seems a bit... shallow... is because I wasn't sure I wanted to put in the final piece of the puzzle as I see things.  Not just for a reason, for several reasons and for general principles.  But... we are all adults here.  Except for the kids.  Yeah, I know.

Anywhile, here is the score.  Why can't I get my medicines together and started?  Why can't you lose weight perhaps?  Why can't a doctor save this life after just having saved a worse case?  Why?  It really does come down, sometimes, to God's will, or even how He designed things to work outside of His conscious will.  We hear people discuss whether something is a bug or a design element, in programming or electronics but the notion has spreed to manufacturing in general.  Something we would like to see in a product, that just doesn't work.  We wonder if the designers made it that way, and if so whether that decision was intentional or not.  God is like that with this world, all of the universe of flesh, perhaps beyond whether we will ever understand that as living beings or not.

Do I believe that God literally wills someone to be dead?  I dicker on this.  I think, in most cases, that is not the case.  Usually the way things work out is happenstance based on, to us, incomprehensible actuarial charts.  Improbability is not a miracle.  And what is even possible, literally, is not known.  Further, it is probably literally unknowable.  Still, it is all real, and it is based upon some mathematical functions based within laws of physics.  None of those understandings is within our grasp, mind you.  And yet, I fully believe, if God wishes to do so, He may keep a being alive at His whim.  He has, literally, even raised the dead, both when He walked here and in events perhaps before but certainly since that time.

How do angels defeat demons?  God's will, if applied.  How does something miraculous happen?  God's will.  How is my medicine container going to be filled?  God's will.  And why hasn't it been filled?  Honestly, that too, is God's will.  Part of the reason I didn't wish to put in this part is that too many people will take that to assume that, if God's will is the ticket, then what we do is irrelevant.  Or worse, that we need not try.  Quite the opposite is true, even, maybe especially, when striving to do a right, or even good, thing, seemingly against what I am generally declaring as God's will.

Feeding the poor is God's will.  But better yet is teaching those people how to feed themselves.  Which is most sublime?  I say the latter.  And in that contest, one will create, the other will destroy, if left to become entrenched.  God's will is a tricky thing.  How do you know if something is meant to be?  Is it just that it happens?  Sometimes doing God's will is a struggle, sometimes it is the only way to do something.  And the next, going against one sort of God's will is so damned easy.  This gets trickier yet.  I am not even sure if it is easier to follow God's will, or fight it, even being the multi-headed hydra that it is in practice is it possible to do either, really?  It does get dodgy in there.

For me, I just put my mind to doing what I have learned to perceive as right, good, true, and while I think on these things, I don't let them dissuade me.  These are merely measures I employ while contemplating God.  They aren't even questions I ask God.  These are merely tricks I use in order to align my mind upon God.  Once there, there is only God.  No questions, no doubts, even my sins fade and fall away in those moments.

Anyway, that is the rest of it.  Yes, God's will, consciously active in heaven or set in motion through the flesh, universe, what it means is the rest of the thing.  Angels and men do according to it, willing or not, failingly as we are wont, but in faith, blithely ignorant of faith, or against faith, we will do God's will.  And God's will is done, over, under, through, by, for, and seemingly even against us.  And... for my little part...  I really do enjoy the show.  *grins*