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Ah well, there is a bit more to it. Isn't there always? Yesterday I napped. I had meant to take a typical, if rarely had, three hour nap. I even had the opportunity to suspend my sleep at three hours into it. Something told me to double down. I did, nearly. I'm not sure there was much real choice though. Another two hours in the sack roaster and this rooster was... well... done with the roaster if still not the cock of the walk. The nap helped me limp by. Not that it always means something in the next sleep cycle, but it can. Today it did. I think. I never really know.
More though, when I woke this morning, before my brain was working, I had already found pajamas... don't always wear them to bed. That conformity to norms or prudery or comfort or whatever your claims for it might be requires energy and a conscious will, save I suppose if you have everything laid out every day? Well, I didn't have it and don't do that, so of course not. Oh, and when I wake, for the last three to ten days or something, can't remember through the fog, I've been pretty much just wandering around in my socks, boxer briefs, and a grin on when I thought about it or one of you yahoos or some other bit of data made me grin. I remember hating to wear clothes until I was forced to do so for school. I still hate clothes, but I am now addicted. So, that says something. Anywhile... Further, right after the usual morning trip to return fluids to the wild, I made coffee. I was half way through making coffee when I just about shouted a cheer and jumped for joy. I really wanted to do so, but even on a good day, being that early, it just isn't there yet. I might do it later.
Why all the fuss, you ask? Because for some time now, my automatics have been down. What happened this morning was without thought, but what I wanted, and as it should but hasn't been. No, I suppose, you don't understand. And I pray, honestly, to God, that you never do. This doesn't mean a thing else will be done today. It doesn't mean a thing about tomorrow, whatever that might end up looking like. It only means, for an half hour, "it" worked.
What woke me, to my mind, was the end of a dream. I had gone to one of the Ivy Leagues. Unlike last time, without my last lady friend. This time they didn't have her to give away that I was conservative, Christian, or... whatever she told them that soured them. Until she did? I had been all but in. I stayed with a prof and his wife, and they had become enamored it seems. I thought I kept messing up in my answers, and personal questions, but I guess not. Whatever. It seems, other than politics and possibly religion, that I'm a natural to them. Oh, and I hadn't really wanted to get in, I had just wanted 'the nod'. Technically, even with my hard core lefty bump with, I got it. She just killed the game, jealousy and showing her up was too much for her weak ego. Two schools, actually, gave me the notion of the nod. My health, of course, wouldn't have allowed it. Money? If you go, it comes. Everybody knows that, save my lady friend. Then again, I think she feared losing me at the time. We were still... a thing. Jealous in more ways than one methinks.
Anyway, so I got in. And, being of the nature I am, it was actually noted that I took care of details, that I followed through, and that I did things correctly even if it was a bit humbling. I must have had a return to health. In any case, my actions were noted. My lead nemesis was... a pampered child, of an adult nature about my own age, kept doing some flash then dancing without care away from the project he had undertaken up to that point. I ended up well and truly winning that 'argument', socially, literally, academically. It was a beautiful thing. Yes, yes, all about war and contests and winning. But, to a degree, that is the gist of life, innit? Perhaps women are just generally blind to this in it's full context. Sympathy is fine, but not for the devil. Gifting the poor and needy is fine, but not the ones who choose that. You would think that would lead them to understand the why of some things, but often it just leads them deeper into contested areas and still with no clue. This too will be fixed by the weights of nature. If we lose they will end up in burqas. Actually, it probably has been settled, it just hasn't hit yet. Time. Sure wish I could take to wing... this will get ugly before, or if, it gets better. Governments have a way of doubling down on stupid to the blood cost of many. I will need, to my way of thinking, some mobility in order to... look for things.
So, a cup of joe, warm pj's, a quirky successful dream, and now to blog it all. Just in case it all slips from my weak grasp before I can fully enjoy it. The great tales of Heracles? Something. Oh, and I feel good. Body, mind, spirit. Still a bit shaky as I wake, as will always be the case probably. But I see, of flesh, and more than just flashes from the fog or memory. I see clearly... through shadow, fog, skin, flesh, bone, and right to the clean, I do, again. I am awake for the first time in...
Well, now to fully wake and get to something, perhaps. I couldn't have gone shooting yesterday. But it worked out I think. It was simply too cold for my friend to have wanted to go. It is probably too cold today. Until that front passes on, or a bit more. There were supposed to be cold winds from the north, north west, that push the thing along. That won't warm things, actually quite the opposite. Until it warms I can tinker in, on, about, and throughout the cave. And, I think, I will.
Ah, something I noticed last night. The tomatoes are already up! Nothing in the pepper area, but those take a long time to germinate, as long as two weeks for some of them. The hotter, for peppers it is said, the slower to germinate. Some of the tomatoes are as much as an inch high though. All very good!
Oh, and good morning. Hurry up and wake already. Shall we play a game? Be careful what you wish.
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