Okay.

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By the way, I have added the label "haiku" to my submission pages, contests hosted, and judgements... mostly.  I hope I got them all.  I may even have added just some generic topic posts.  I dunno... it's the one thing that really holds to labels, and holds together well.  When you are on a haiku page, just click the "haiku" label, and it will put all haiku there for easy access.  I didn't just write this for you to search my haiku.  Actually, I didn't write this for you to read my stuff at all.  *hint wink hint*   Hurry up already!

Mother seemed to settle down.  Seeing someone sleep for six hours after having gotten up after a solid sleep, and realizing I will be going back to bed, early enough, again tonight... I think she just forgets my limits because sometimes they don't exist.  Until they slam down like a hammer again.  She forgets I'm almost dead is all.  No real fuss.  I go through everything she goes through, and more.  Anyone who had read here a bit gets a bigger or more in the last few years a smaller taste of that poison.  Frustration, to be sure.  We have figured out how to manager her wants in the tomorrow.  Should work out well enough.  And I'll make it to my appointment as well.  Probably.

Yeah, no work on the bathroom, of course.  If she wasn't here I would be hitting it tonight, maybe, a bit anyway.  I am pretty nose down, physically.  At least I know I have all the parts.  And if needed, enough to even tear down the whole build and rebuild.  That allows me some comfort.  My body, though, is tired.  Well... I can't say that.  Physically it is fit, ready.  But it hurts a bit from pushing and the heart not repairing.  And from not having what I need from the heart.  It's slightly different than pure physical exhaustion.  I'm figuring this out more as I heal a bit.  I can see what is what, I am more awake.  I wear my body at times, and can compare the various sorts of exhaustion I go through.  Knowing changes-fixes nothing, but it does allow me... comfort, understanding, a modicum of patience I haven't always shown to my physical form and it's failures.  Perhaps though, I find in dealing with things, a wiser, more sure way, to what I want to do.  Not always, but tending rather than shoving has yielded more bounty on the work front.  It's still slow, frustrating...  But it is indeed getting done.

A haiku win!  I honestly don't see myself as poetic.  I'm a rock, damn it!  But I enjoy satisfying a judge.  A judge who became so by pleasing another in a field of competition.  Is it just the competitive nature?  Not so much I think.  It's finding some worth in an arena I had never ventured but had always slightly been curious about.  Of course, my favored haiku will probably never win, too... stout.  Misunderstood, finally, or officially?  Still, that there is some touch that reaches a judge is enough.  I hope it leads others to look at the... deeper, harder, more personal, private pieces.  They aren't meant for horror... or are a representation of the terror I am, or was, or a touch of bastardized both.  But that psychic trauma isn't meant to hurt the reader, or frighten them, only lead them, as sheep, to lay with the lion that is me?  Something.  But it is difficult to put into right words, poetry or prose.  Some sheep, until assurances are concrete, can never trust the lion.  I do understand.  And it is not unwise council.  Those who can will understand, however, something ahead of their time and place.  Well... that's... another angle to my story.  Ah, so which won?

In This Order

Blisters of lightning,

stars, quiet, serenity.

When the shades come down.

I'll be thinking about the contest, and try to have something up soon.  Thursday, Friday sometime at the latest.  Mostly.  Mom is here, but... I think she is coming around to this poetry stuff, sort of.  She is seeing something in it, to it, that might not have been apparent before.  It's something she can't quite touch.  Then again that is where I was when I first invaded the gig at Aunty's.  Actually long ago, when I watched them go up.  I think I tried my hand at it long ago, a time or two.  She might be a bit understanding, as long as I am busy in the bathroom and just do it on breaks.  :p  I'm hoping she is done working.  She just can't, or won't, stay down though.  Always always fussing.  It's her art.

Later.