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No matter what we do, think, feel... No matter what we try, what happens, what we dream... Reality just is. We can choose to attempt to accept it. We can try to ignore it. We can try to change it. It just is. It works of it's own accord. At best we can learn just enough to jump through it's hoops when those hoops exists, and when presented, for as long as we can while they exist in order to make just enough to survive and perhaps a bit more. Do you want to see an example of the black box of reality? Oh, no worries, it isn't too scary. Though... the idea is. You can hear the hum. Or is that just for those who can hear? Some of the music is too long, or short, to make sense of. But I do believe it is all music, and... actually... all one song.
I have seen things other than that. The tears, mostly, have dried. Time has allowed some comfort for the broken heart I wield. I still think it was knowledge, not a virus, that brought me down. The virus, perhaps, was the bullet. It wasn't the gun, nor what pulled the trigger, and so on into the deeper reaches of reality. I have seen things no other man alive has seen. So many times. It isn't that I wouldn't save, it's that I couldn't. Just fast enough to dodge my own death, not fast enough to save another. A curse, of sorts. You have no idea unless you have been there. Cold, I have become, in ways. But it is why I go alone. I don't have enough heart left to replace the fallen anymore. I wouldn't become that cold. Couldn't?
Aye, but I am still looking. For a long time I wondered why I dared. I wondered what I was looking for. Then it came to me. I am looking for the one thing I have failed to see, so far. A little gunshy, mind you. Does a ghost dare to dream?
Hmm? Oh, right. I have things to do. Later.
Blue Oyster Cult! One of the few musical acts of which I have every album.
ReplyDeleteThe more real you allow your ghosts to become, the greater their ability to dream and walk the streets of the Living.
Perhaps. But if you are told they aren't real... Just... you have to start with some things in place before... you can deal with them.
ReplyDeleteImagine if your (God forbid) family all perished. And, when you could finally talk about it? You are told you had no family. Those ghosts are very difficult to handle.
At least, finally, I believe in my sanity. Still toiling with... what happened, and how, where, when, what it all means. Working with tattered memories and ugly aspects I can't quite... manage.
The ghosts have to be made real enough to be... laid to rest. Or, with some of them, get a righteous stake driven through their ghoul hearts. Some of the dead should be dead, and happily on my part!
Oh, really, about BOC? I am finding... more and more of their work to be relative. Hmm... Knowing me to the point that you do, could you suggest one particular album to try? Or what is your favorite, or if different, the one you would recommend? That's possibly three albums, or one.
ReplyDeleteAll ears. Just curious, but I would bother investigating, sooner or later, so it's not wasted thought or effort.
A particular BOC album. Wow. The style of the group would change as members left or returned, but the two I would overall recommend would be "Secret Treaties" and "Imaginos". Both of them heavily involve an overall mythos which band member Sandy Pearlman had been fashioning for decades (and which is extensively written on in the "Imaginos" liner notes), and which raises its head as an underlying theme throughout the band's career.
ReplyDeleteThe albums differ in quality, but every one of them has at least one song I thoroughly enjoy. You might also sample the "Heaven Forbid" album (some of the songs there I think might fit your moods).
When it comes to ghosts there is what people tell me about them, and then there is what I feel. I do know that, sooner or later, every ghost has to be faced and dealt with. I know all about painful ghosts and how they can occasionally surface. You have to work out some sort of peace with them. It might not be the peace you want, but it should be better than the alternative.