Ever tried to wrestle a full grown bull?

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I suppose, in the purely technical understanding, neither have I.  However, I am calling that a done deal in another sense.

I went to bed at about 23:00 last night.  I simply could not force sleep, however.  It must have been past midnight and perhaps past 1:00 before I could sleep.  I was just about to quit the effort when sleep sapped me like a sandman mickey.  I woke at 4:35 or so with... something uncomfortable and gastrointestinal going on.  Ended up just being like conservative politics, all wind.  Still, I went to the bomb shelter, just in case.  Staying awake was not an option and thankfully it wasn't an interest either.  Back to bed and quite easily.  The alarm was set for 8:00.  I figured if I didn't like 8:00 I could just roll it over to 9:00.  One being three hours, plus, earlier than what had been becoming the norm, the other a two hour earlier than usual rise.  A nap, if need be, and a weak morning, would cover for my time correction as to my schedule, I hoped.  Okay, this is where wrestling a bull comes in.

So the alarm goes off at 8:00.  Oh, I hear it.  But there isn't a very good neuro-patterning going on.  It felt more like I was hearing through my nose or something.  Rolling over to get to the alarm with brain signals not going to the correct places was one heck of an effort, I'll tell you.  But, finally, twisted in my blankets on top of everything, I get rolled around to where I am face to face with the alarm.

Now... what the heck am I supposed to do with this... loud, blinky, obnoxious... thing?  Let me see.  It's loud.  It is flashing light.  I can see it.  I honestly could not remember what to do with the thing.  My mind suggested something about hitting it, or changing numbers, or such but none of that made any sense.  And my body really wasn't responding well.  Ah!  Getting an arm free of the blankets helped with the latter part.  I still couldn't logic the thing out when instinct took over.  My arm swung out and bopped it, in a sideways swipe.  I think it was trying to hit the snooze AND change the numbers, but didn't know how to do either and was hoping for luck.  Luck was had.

I laid there, looking at the thing for a bit, not sure if the results were satisfactory.  After a while, without noise, I must have twisted back into the bedroll and found sleep.  My mind still wasn't sure I had done what I had wanted to do.  But without a reason to think on it more, it wouldn't stay focused on the problem.  I think I more forgot about the alarm and what I or it was doing in the first place, than...  The snooze is good for four minutes, as if that meant anything to me.  I did this... I am not sure how many more times.  It just kept happening.  Ugh!

At some point, I woke, inside my mind anyway, enough to be sad.  I had probably turned off the alarm, and missed my goal of waking early today.  Or had I just hit the snooze until the alarm stopped working?  It seems like it had been a long time since I had heard anything.  I could only guess what time it was.  I couldn't do much else.  Just be sad, and mostly asleep just go back to sleep.  My mind rolled back into sleep before I could shed a little tear.  Yeah, I can cry from frustration, from time to time.

All of a sudden, like some crazy evil version of the movie Groundhog Day, the alarm went off again.  At first, since I was just waking again, I didn't relate this to what had just happened.  I wondered if I had reset the alarm.  This time, after going through the rolling over and getting an arm out, but before the arm naturely bopped the alarm, I focused to hold the arm and wake the mind, then open the eyes to actual vision.  I had looked, every time I rolled over, but had never seen the time.  I wanted to see the time this time.  Oh, you cannot imagine how much concentration it took to do those three things after all the fuss to just get in position.  CONTROL.  Every ounce of everything I could muster, but I did it.

8:44

So... I hadn't changed the time or otherwise, somehow, killed the alarm?  I wasn't outside of my hoped waking time?  I wanted to cheer.  For forty four minutes, eleven snoozes, being completely unable to wake enough to change the time or figure anything else out, I kept wrestling with blankets, a nearly blank mind, and everything else to keep having to roll and eventually figure out how to swat?  All my instincts, however, directed that I just slam the alarm clock, again, and roll back over.  My body was still not really connected to my mind, will.  As my arm flew to the 'smack' position, my mind had to fight through sleeping neurons and disconnected lines of control.  It was like swimming through the mud of myself.  It couldn't have taken long but it seemed to take forever.  I wasn't sure I would be able to... swat my arm from smacking the clock.  Did my arm slow, thinking a signal might be on the way?  Did my body stall for me?  Or did that flash of a microsecond just seem to drag on in my mind?  I don't know.  In the end I was able to keep from hitting the snooze.  Okay, control of body by mind is re-established, but now what?  Ah...  I still have to hit the snooze?  Urhm... no.  I will be waking up, so I can... what?  Ah!  Turn the alarm off.

That was a whole other level of waking though.  And that noise was infuriating.  I truly hate alarm clock sounds, by the way.  Truly.  So, while trying to figure out how to turn the alarm off, I went ahead and consciously hit the alarm.  No sliding slam, this time, just a gentle press of the snooze bar.  Then moments of thinking on how to turn off the alarm.  Don't fall asleep!  I had to balance all these processes carefully.  After what seemed like forever, my mind barely staying conscious, I remembered how to shut the alarm off.  There!

I rolled back.  My body thinking, since I had done all that, at great exhaustion for having to do a horrendous amount of work, that we were done.  It rolled back into the fetal position, swirling back into the blankets, planning to go back to sleep.  I, stuck in that sleeping bull, almost went along for the ride.  No.  No, no, no, no!  I told my body it was time to wake.  I had no ally in that.  I didn't wait for agreement, or acceptance, or anything.  I sent the order to kick the legs out.  Somehow, my body knew how to unwind from the covers, get the legs out, and begin standing.  I got to the seated position, anyway.

How long had all that taken?  I looked over at the alarm to see how much time I had wasted just... getting to this point.  8:44.  8:44?  Not even a full minute from when I heard the alarm to sitting?  It seemed like it had taken an hour, or at least an half hour.  But, no.  I was up, in the time frame I wanted, or soon would be.

After that?  I went to the restroom.  Whatever had been disturbing my gi had worked it's way through.  To great joy.  I hate empty trumpeting, that is all I will say about that.  Thankfully, for me, it is rare.  Then, after washing up, I thought about doing the dishes.  Not quite yet.  I gave myself a break for having been a good boy.  I'll do those later.  But the girls needed fed, so I did that right away.  They were rewarded for poppo's accomplishment with an early feeding.  I sat, started writing this, and somehow it is already 10:15 (by my alarm time)?  Crazy.  Where did the time go with me being awake?  It only took a few minutes to actually write this.  Crazy.

Yeah, so I have wrestled a bull.  And I am feeling it.  I figure I will be down for a nap by noon.  And I will take it.  Two hours, down, then back up.  Dishes, if not before, then after.  I will then look over the rest of my list for today.

By the way?  AWESOME!

Later.