Today?

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I went down late and a little hard.  I was awake and 4:00(ish) and down at about 22:00, add in the trip to town, a half a dozen stops at stores, various shopping, wheeling my friend around, a couple of meals, and... when I finally calmed to sleep I went in hard.  I think I saw the ground coming at me, or was it the other way around?  I leveled her out as much as possible, and think I did a pretty good job, actually.  It was still a hard bump, and I woke sometime last night needing to empty a whining bladder but never rose above the level of zombie with a simple task and sleep was an easy thing to find when I finished.

I set the alarm for 6:00.  I had, at that hour, thought that was 10 hours?  Math was fuzzy as I was heading down.  The goal, in my mind, was to wake at 4:00, or at least before the alarm went off.  I was up by 5:15 alarm time (5:00 real time, I put in an edge on all my clocks because I am who, and what, I am).  As it turns out I slept less than I really recommend.  In part due to poor late night math skills and some ability to regulate my internal alarm at the moment.  Still, seven hours should be sufficient.  I won't be doing a great deal of work today.  A bit in the kitchen is on the menu.  Stripping the rifle down for a thorough stripping, cleaning, partial part kit upgrade, and oiling in prep for it's first firing, perhaps as early as early next week.  Laundry is in the queue as well.

If I can stick to the plans, I have some chance at getting some things done.  But there are always distractions, there is the possibility that I pushed a bit hard yesterday and the batteries are not back to enough of a charge, and my life is not mine, always, to command.  Still, it's about making a plan and working at it.  That is all any of us have, if some can go further.

I was speaking with a gentleman recently.  It seems I am concrete in his eyes.  Not a terrible thing, and with it's place, and somewhat respected to a degree.  We spoke on the matter a bit.  And, it is true.  If someone suggests a rock is a tree, I will chew up and spit out that idea.  If they try to tell me that blue is purple, I will rip that notion apart.  I generally try to be non-personal, unless I believe I am dealing with a snake.  Snakes in the grass need to be dealt with harshly and directly.  Fools won't be suffered, but they can be taught.  Or at least given no options but to not head out.  Don't try parlor tricks, I am better at them.  I simply have no interest, or need, to fool people... mostly.

Still, I don't think he understood some things.  While I am intellectually, ideally, solid, unmoving, unemotional, and with very strict guidelines, he, I suggested, was so of flesh.  Many don't understand that.  He has many responsibilities.  He has had and still has many things he has to do, every day, that all claim some of him.  He has overcome obstacles that aren't really his area.  In life, even if he isn't in business for himself, he is a stock hard core businessman and he does his business and tends his responsibilities no less rigorously than I defend my perceptions of truth and fact and some such.  "Oh, well, you know... I never thought of it that way."  Aye, that is what friends are for.  He is every bit as hard iron as I am, just in a slightly different way.  I know, I have met his sons.  Not a brutal father, just a solid one.  Some men have a hard time seeing their worth, so busy being it.  He's got a solid wife, too.  Some folk amaze me.  Humble, too, in the right way.

Anyway...  I will finish waking, then... figure out what to do next.  Life doesn't wait on fools... does that mean I am not a fool, since life does wait on me?  :p  Never the notion.  Just a misinterpretation of a miscalculation, but the idea does tickle my fancy.  Later.

Oh... one thought for you today?  While I can think, I can also go here.  I live in a soup of the two.  I am always ready, always.  My body isn't, always, but that is because it is broken.  Most people don't even know what ready means, or have denied much of what it takes to be ready.  I don't mess with other people in this way, try to teach, or even get them to see their own aspect in this, because it is dangerous.  For most people, they don't even believe they have the caveman in them.  It is this side of women, and their belief that it doesn't exist, that made being a skirt chaser so damned easy.  Women who understood and tried to handle that aspect were the most difficult to... bring under my sway, if too, the women who knew of it and preferred it were as easy as the deniers, if willingly and willfully and with intent and knowledge.  So getting that to come out, then deal with it, for most people, is insanely dangerous. 


This is why a SHTF scenario will be so dangerous.  People who have lived in denial for so long, when they hit this, will have no idea what to do with it.  People have spent their whole lives burying their animal side.  When that comes out, it is going to do bad things until some balance can be found.  And in a bad situation, where food, hygiene, even good potable water, are scarce, there may be no chance to find balance... not in time.  And, some, when they find that fresh blood is delicious?  Won't want to return.  You bet I know.  What do you think much of this blog deals with?