Bits and pieces, dinner, more later.

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A shower, trash collected if not out yet, a shower, dinner, and a few other very small things have made the day feel more human.  I wasn't burning up, if right near the edge.  I also tried to call my mother.  She didn't answer.  Busy woman.  Seriously.  I even left a message this time.  Not a regular thing.  Nothing important.  I'm about to crash though.  Sleep until it cools off.  Though perhaps a bit more reading as I settle in.  Yeah, it's a risky thing.  I just want to finish this first Sci-Fi Journal.  I hope the second isn't filled with classic music playing philosophers towards the end.  If you've sorted through some of these things on your own, other people mucking around in some areas is annoying.  Especially when you see that they are classically trained, but didn't think about any of this stuff on their own.  They know what others have said, even if a mixed bag of previous, but have nothing themselves to add.  Boring and annoying.  Show me what you got, doc, and back it up.

I am hoping to get the shelter for the boat started, maybe set up the drill press for the shelf arms, keep an eye on the kefir, get the trash out, and maybe, just maybe, hit the trail tomorrow.  That might be pushing it.  Though that isn't bad.  I think I would be fine if I got out early enough, as dawn was beginning to yawn the sky awake.  Whether a short hike then a nap, or a longer hike taking a nap in the wilds... all good.  Not sure I will have enough going to do it, but it would be good even if I have to shove a bit.  Either that or the day after.  Or the day after that if the other works bog me down in experimental construction techniques.

I still, from time to time, go through a little drop in time/space.  I know I am missing something but can't figure out what that might be.  Then I realize... I just get a massive hunger for a hit of tobacco.  My body was searching my mind for the memory of... first what is wrong... then where in memory is the location of my last can of tobacco.  All faster than I can realize consciously what the problem is.  It's a bit like dropping into cold water, going through a bit of shock before you realize you are wet.  It's getting rarer.  But it's pretty startling when it happens.  Call me a bit of a sadist, or just realize I have little sympathy... or empathy... for myself always.  It's rather cute in a cruel little way.  In this way, I do have some notion of the feminine.  *c... c... c... cold!*  Yeah, baby.  *wink*  Oh, no real comparison.  I'm just much better at this than most men, if no real challenge to women.  Save when I get annoyed enough, but that's not a daily daily, as it can be with women. 

Yeah, on to some reading, then sleep.  Later... or good night... or... I don't know.  I don't even know what to call it, I have no idea how long I will sleep, or much else.  Yeah, later.