.
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Some things in life, when they work, can't be helped but to be enjoyed. Sleep is one of those things. I didn't get to everything I had hoped to do this morning. I did call my mother, I did order medicine. I pretty much fell after that. I fell so hard and fast that I felt hitting bottom before I actually did. Yeah, strange. I was asleep on my feet, like a punch drunk who doesn't know he is already on the mat if his body isn't down yet. I did catch the time, roughly... something like 8:13, roughly. Could have been 11 after, might have been as much as 33 after, though I think that is correct. Probably. As I said, I felt the hit before I went in to bed, so there is no memory of falling asleep. Most of the machine was already off. Only the animal side was somewhat awake. They say it never sleeps, not the animal side. Hmm... you do realize, that is a very feminine thing, don't you? Women sleep, but not so much. I think they are much more connected to their animal side to be honest. Not a conscious thing. But it rules much of what they do, more directly, I do believe. This I understand, if for my own reasons, and with very different outcomes and results. Their ties are for reproduction, mine is for simple brutal survival... mostly. Or did I just used to be more animal? Then again, I don't think God changed anything mechanical like that, for me. He called, and what could and should have been changed, I changed, as per what of His will I can understand. The machine remains as was, only the will and expressional way have been altered.
An interesting set of dreams. I will try to recall a second while writing about the first, sometimes it works.
In the first dream, I was inside a D&D game. Not acting it so much as living it. I was not alone, there were many. Some of my old friends, others I have not met. Beside the dungeons and traps and puzzles were gathering areas. When a break was needed, or food, or stocking supplies, a trip to these places. Some were towns, some were spaces between dungeons, others were dungeons taken over and refitted or keeps or such. The one I found myself in was more like some sort of complex, underground. I didn't know it's history, just that it was a popular place... or at least the people I liked to see where more likely to be found there. I doubt if it was ever a dungeon, the walls and settings were too well constructed and framed. A Dwarven clan home, lost in time, or perhaps a project they had been convinced to produce, probably.
I was working with the people I used to game with in real life. In real life, one went on to become a lawyer, another made top of his class at the Naval Academy, if he had to go Marines to do it, then became a pilot then test pilot. I don't remember what Eric went on to do, or the girls. They were, mostly, part time players, the girls. They had been geek girls, back when we could get away with it. But as they were becoming pretty, things changed. If they had been less pretty, they might have found it easier to continue playing, I do believe. But when their value by the rather potent individuals in the group (most of us were jock academics) stopped being about how well they played and became about how damned fine they looked, gaming became too much for everybody. A sexual comment from within the game would cause vapors, pheromones, and heat to rise. One or both would blush, eyes would be averted, crotches and various other parts would be viewed by the... uhmm... *cough* hrmm... various warring parties. Early teens. Sticky sweet. Anyway, so, they didn't stick around. I remember both of their faces... and other parts... vividly. Anyway, the dames weren't gaming.
We were in to pick up supplies. We had made it through the first, what we thought, two thirds or more of a massive puzzle dungeon. Just gearing up, resting, healing, and eating the easy way. Nothing like having a cook and no dishes. We each, mostly, went our separate ways, with our own shops and special supplies it was faster to split. One of my friends was tagging along, or vice versa, since we were both more hungry than thinking of supplies. We went to a massive dining hall. Not many people there, and all were rather separate, and for the most part liked it that way. We got our food and headed out to find a place to sit. Large benches, cut stone yet not cold. Magic? Or just a manmade material with the feel and weight but without the chill? As we were navigating the giant room, I noticed a woman I had met before, and liked a bit. In the dream we were adults at this time, by the way.
She was one of those women who was less attractive, and focused so didn't squeal when some sex topic came up, or nip out when an oddity occurred. She wasn't really in our group, but we had connections and sometimes she would join us or one or some of us would join her group. In any case, she seemed interested in having us join her, as a guess, and it wasn't bad to have a familiar face. But there was something more. Have you ever had a woman waive you over without waiving? Yeah, well, she was doing that. I didn't, initially, know why. She looked older, now, too. More mature? More feminine? Still a geek, so it seemed, therefore safe.
We sat at a table she had already occupied or was heading toward. We all seemed hungry, so we ate well first, then as the meal progressed began talking. Mostly shop. She asked where we were, what were doing, so I told her about the puzzle dungeon. Oh, that, she said. Yeah, that... like talking about the first calculus course you take. Fun, sort of, if the professor doesn't hate you for being conservative, but challenging. I told her where we were, and how close we were to being done. Oh no, she said. That is just near the end of the first fifth of the series. She hadn't been through all of it, but she had seen another three segments. She had some tips, but also a bit of a fear chirp in her voice when relating. She had lost a third of her party, irretrievably, in the middle of the next three. Beastly, ghastly hard, she suggested. Yep.
After the meal, my friend drifted away. Did he see? Women have a way of dismissing, some men don't even notice, they just go. I hadn't caught that, but women do these things on the ipso facto q t. Some of their streams of communication are purely between two parties, themselves and their target, and they have learned to shield those communications. I wouldn't necessarily have been able to notice even if I had been looking. I doubt my friend even realized he had been dismissed. Did I mention, she was looking much more feminine. Geeky, but in a cute way. Almost... sexy? I wanted to retch, for a moment, but then... not so much. Wasn't she one of the guys. The impulse almost came back, until she caught my eye. Yeah, okay. She's a girl, I guess. Not like the dames that could no longer play, but... not... not bad.
We continued to discuss the rest of the dungeon my group was in. Picking her brain. Memory is difficult, especially after playing many areas, and playing heavy. Still, in short order, I was able to get as much about the current area and the next areas she had been in. We headed over to the library, there were some minor books with added information. Our walking had slowed a bit, becoming almost a dance. Our conversation lost any real meaning or point. Closer? Her or me? On we went, down through the hallways and doors to the library. It was larger, and even less populated, than the dining hall. And more private, with shelving cutting the massive area into boardroom sized almost private chambers. We walked further in, over to one of the corners. We hadn't seen anyone in a while Her eyes were becoming huge, her breath a bit ragged.
Finally, upon entering one of the chambers, I pulled her close, put my arm around her and brought her to me, and kissed her. Deeply but not... Just a strong kiss. She looked so surprised. She didn't resist. We kissed a few more times, then I lifted her and set her on the high study table. Are you going to rape me, she asked? No. I don't need to, do I? She didn't answer, she just waited for me to kiss her again. But what if I get pregnant, she asked? I just asked her what happens with pregnant women. Then kissed her again. My hand found her bottom, then slid up to the high middle of her back. I lowered her to the table and slid off her panties. Kissing most of the the time. She suggested she wasn't sure. I promised she was more than ready and would be fully engaged. And she was.
Over the next few days, we met up in lobbies, bedrooms, bathrooms, hallways, storage closets... perhaps among other places. Short or long, I meant to get the job done. And, to my mind, I believe she was with child when I left. She had many worries. I told her she would be still able to find a husband. I told her that though she couldn't have me, she would always have my child and these memories. I told her that between having a husband, this time, and my child, she would find enough else in life to be satisfied. That my child would lead her to a man, and being a woman and wife. Then I was gone.
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Don't give me razzleberries, it was just a dream. Not... too distant from... some history, mind you. *cough* Women have certainly been playing havoc with me lately. I've got to say, it wasn't a horrible dream. Sure, brings back sins. But these have been released as much as they are able. And there was a natural element to them. I lived in the dark, it is what I knew. And women are... well... women. They attract as much as any other durned fool thing I've been drawn, yet generally aren't as dangerous... if I check the food and pay attention to my gut (and tongue, and mind, and etc). Sometimes you ride the bull, sometimes you ARE the bull. Boy did I need the break from her the next dungeon provided. Women are trying to kill me, one way or the other. *grins*
The other dream is gone. But sometimes they float back, when they are on the fringe like this. Later.
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