Had to argue.

.
.
With myself.  I altogether, at first, forgot to set the alarm.  I woke, or sort of.  I didn't think I could wake fully.  I had this depressing notion that I was too late.  One side of me told me to just roll over and dig in.  Go back to sleep, you bum, it cooed.  I ignored, if with some sting, then mustered enough strength to twist and roll and look at the time.  The alarm clock read 9:00.  That is the alarm clock that is right on time.  I... think I want to change that.  At least while I am sleeping in there.  Anyway...

I knew the voice was part right.  There was no way I was going to do more than do a bathroom break.  Want, will, or things of fortitude, had no bearing.  It was a pure mechanical fact of my physique.  Mostly dead things, sometimes, can't do what they want.  However, I saw a shimmer of hope.  Being 9:00 gave me three hours.  I might be able to get up in time to make it to the post.  I might even get up in time to get a shower in before heading out.  If you must aim high, aim really high?  Yeah.

I don't think I went to the bathroom, though maybe.  Memory is a blur.  I am almost sure I didn't.  I did twist and roll more so as to get to the alarm, and set it for 10:00.  That was a heck of a struggle.  Seems so easy.  If you have ever had dream paralysis, you... have a better idea.  Not quite fully paralyzed, in this instance, but it was something similar against which I struggled.

When the alarm sounded, then I think I headed to the bathroom?  I just can't be sure.  One of those times, or maybe later, I went.  I know I could not wake then, though did not reset the alarm.  I woke, thinking I had missed everything.  Again, I had to struggle with flesh, will, and a recalcitrant body.  It was 11:03, or so it seemed.  I struggled through all, for some time, to wake.  I tried to go fast enough for a shower but realized that would not happen.  So, and even so barely, I finally made it out.

That is what it takes when I successfully push my schedule around in order to do something at a time I would normally be asleep.  It will probably mess everything up for a bit.  My body currently wants to sleep but can't.  It's going to get messy, and not much will be done until I figure out the next sleep queue and get into it.  And it might end up hurting.  Even so, this is better than every before.  The heart must be better, if probably topping out in the 20% range, up from 15%.  Though the body is becoming more useful, there is probably a pretty serious limit, upon which I am trouncing.  Sort of like thrashing to metal music on this ice, but... I have things to do.  Back to resting until I get sleep reorganized though.

Good morning and day.