I hate when I can't get to bed well.

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I kept thinking about bed.  Between the sore legs and that keeping me from burning much energy, I couldn't get to sleep well.  It was well after 4:00, possibly as much as two to three hours later.  Annoying.  Of course, when I go down late I often can't wake for six to more like eight and sometimes up to twelve hours later... depending on how much I have been working before having the problem.  I think I hit about eight hours this time, about where I want to hit though.  Too little and I can be (more) tired all day.  Too much sleep can have a similar affect.  Silly but that's how it works.  Even with eight hours I can be a bit groggy all day, but over time that will work itself out whereas other sleep times will just get worse.  I still remember, until I was on some heart medicine, sleeping many hours, even days, and sometimes for nearly weeks and months, and never even coming close to feeling rested.  That went on for decades, that was a little form of hell... like being in a lake, but in such a way that the only water you could drink was from rain... whenever that would fall.  Water, water, everywhere but nary a drop to drink.

Life is still a bit tough, at times.  But now I can push through, do things, and willingly pay a price for goods... not just suffer whatever exists.  I can barter, push, pull, make things happen... if not as much as some, more than even others.  I don't understand why people don't... do more... or try for more.  Maybe not every time, every year, in every way, but something new, something old, some borrowed, something blue.  Not just a marriage thing (though I think something to keep in mind... did I ever mention, blue is my favorite color?).  Be wed to life.  Explore in it, through it.  Be curious, inventive, creative, procreative.  "Do!"  Amen.

Anyway, I just think, whatever else you are doing, are required to do, should just be the start.  Find other things to do, figure out how to get beyond your means without going bankrupt.  Meet people who can and will teach, then learn enough to pass that on.  My sleep pattern problems make it difficult for folk to be my friend.  I end up seeming like a terrible friend.  So, often, I avoid involvements.  Folk don't understand.  Life has them cowed and they are trying to avoid involvements as they can... for their own reasons.  Anyway... worth a shot if you can do it.

Today?  Well... I think I might try to plant some things.  The rhubarb, then what of that asparagus I can get in.  Yeah, I know.  But my legs are feeling much better.  I can rest tomorrow, and will probably have to rest.  I am surprised they are eased and ready to work today, or seem to be.  I don't know that I will be able to work all that long.  I'll do what I can.  I just know, when things are finally all planted and dug in, I can take some time off from heavier work, just do cleaning, and... get ready for the next push into plumbing and maybe some woodworking and carpentry.  Yeah...  I'll plant what I can today.  If I can get it all, I will.  I just... don't think so.  This is going to hurt tomorrow, but I will have both chosen, and earned, it.

A Sixpence in your shoe.  Later.