The ghosts that haunt me now.

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Some things are truly with me now.  They have been with me, in significant numbers, for a week or more now.  It has been some time since their presence has been known, even as individuals.  Now?  It almost seems as if there are more dead in my area, than living.  They are showing themselves in many ways, most commonly as shadows.

Even when listening to music, I sense when the girls are near.  Their 'non-verbal' communication, that which they use with each other, I have learned to appreciate to some smaller degree.  Even without light, or with bright lights from the computer which should blind me to their presence in darker areas, or simply when they are coming up from behind... I often take note of them anyway.  Well... these... ghosts, spirits, or other things... they have been throwing me for a loop, taking the place of my girls.  Only when I reach down there is nothing there.

My dreams, too, seem to be filling with human and other loves, family, friends, even enemies, who are lost... of flesh.  If I suspect some of them are not from this time of flesh, for me.  Not a few, not many, hosts of hosts.  What is happening?  I really can't say.  Many, many many, here, now.  One of my cousins, while not here this time, one who recently visited... she is... remembered by some of the others.  Why?  I just don't know very much.





It has been some time since the haunts have been around.  They come and go, from time to time, though lesser in the last... since I moved here, at least over time.  Never have they completely gone.  Neither have they ever been here in these kinds of numbers.  I have been so tired, or when not too tired working myself to exhaustion of late.  When in an exhausted state I think I... near death.  As such, in such a state, I don't... notice being haunted.  Or... it took a while for me to realize I wasn't... so alone.  They really aren't here, but they really are.  I don't think most of you can understand.

Why me?  From so many crossings through the veil of tears?  My absolute nature?  Cosmic nature?  A curse, or blessing?  I don't know them.  They do know me.  They don't seem to be here to help, or harm.  Though, some, as my cousin, sent great love.  Though she arrived in my dreams, not, mostly, save in whispers from the others, while I have been awake.  I have no idea what any of this is about, never have.  I seem to be a gate, or a focus, for them.  I can't even say if they are from this side or the other, or only human.

Well, that is that.  I wish I understood.