It isn't perfect.

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Sleeping so often has some drawbacks.  It is, after several cycles, allowing me to nearly reach full wakefulness for some of the portion of the time I can remain awake.  The advantage tops the problems for now.  It is sort of like my waking moments are split into a bell curve, or graph of a thrown object.  Sometimes true full wakefulness is skewed closer to one edge or the other, if it averages well enough to the central third if I don't push or pull.  I haven't been able to employ that, but it took a bit for me to adjust and begin planning on the fly.

Dishes, a shower, paperwork and a bill, maybe some shopping and research.  Not even close to a single waking event.  It might take a week to get all of that, though success can feed on itself.  I can't rightly say.  I am hoping a few days.  The opposite of a success loop might occur too, based on exhaustion.  Tick.  Tock.

A dream.  In it I finally meet her.  No dating, in one sense.  Proximity, helping each other out, talking.  In time both of us seem right about it so I ask.  She accepts.  Stressful, even in a dream.  I felt like I was drowning from time to time, from after asking until even after the marriage.  It stirred my reflexes less and less over time.  It was better than not, she being a good patient woman.

I realized she wasn't quite ready for a whole home.  And lovely as she was, I wasn't ready for 24/7 facetime.  Women... always with fear, thinking, wondering, doubts, and moods.  Sure, me, right?  I am weaksauce by comparison.  No, a promise is a promise, by law and spirit.  But solutions are possible.


A couple's mission, several years.  The house payments would continue.  An attempt to find a good renter was beginning, looking for the right needs for what we could bring, and else all being sorted.  I was sure this was correct.  Her?  I knew she had reservations, though trust.

I liked that dream.  Just that, take what you can get.  Good night, again.