Seeking through pain.

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Peoples have done this in many ways, in many cultures and religions in all time.  Flaggation, hanging from hooks, sweat lodges, tattoos, you name it.  And to various levels for various reasons.  Death isn't the intention, it might well be the outcome.  Further, sometimes more is done.  The mind and soul might be purged along with the body.  A package deal.

In this video, it seems as if the narrator is being forced to endure all forms of privations.  Offered no solution but accepting pain, with a way out but only a naked one, he eventually accepts.  Most men cannot go there on there own.  Even if you know the story you realize even then there is a trick.  I needed no such trick.


I used the back of my hand to extinguish a cigar.  I didn't rub it out, I let the cigar eat it's way out.  The scar, after three decades, is still slightly visible.  Why?  I needed clarity.  Did I get it?  Yes, of a sorts.  I think it takes a desperate man to seek that way.  I am not convinced it works that way, always and for everyone.  But if not it might return some drive to get back to other things.  While it could not return my then unknown heart break to health it did... allow for the beginning of several journeys.

God?  My searing... God was part of what was sought.  I didn't learn anything, immediately, then.  But the process was started.  Over time I have realized some things. There is God.  One, if triune.  He does love me more than I can understand in this flesh.  It is not God who might hate me, it is some men and women who claim their love of God, their private truths or memorized understandings, are superior, or such, who might hate me.

Oh?  Down at 23:08, awake at 8:18.  A good sleep.  Hmm, quit tobacco years ago, can't even get a little payback.  : p  No, chewing on them is just like chewing tobacco.  Later.