Awake.

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Right.  It feels more like I stepped out of my tomb again than I stepped out of my bedroom.  No, don't get me wrong, I feel good.  It is just that sleep was so... absolute.  There wasn't day, night, hot, cold, the world, or even a little bit of me sensed in any way.  Nothing.  And yet I can tell, from a previously made bed, I rolled like a bull in a summer waterhole.  I am well rested.  Bedtime was at or a bit after 10:30, I just woke at 20:30 and change.  Fasting blood sugar is 177.  The middle read last night was 145, and the final read was 136.  Very good.  Getting somewhere.


I plan on fasting again today.  Then begin eating midday tomorrow, but fasting daily.  My mealtimes, initially, clustered from noon to 18:00 though if that doesn't work, perhaps a single meal a day will be implemented.  It is hoped, diabetes can be kicked, to attempt a more normal (if still lower carb) meal life.  Gotta kill diabetes though, get them off my back.  Motivation.

Some days you win, some days you lose.  Just keep at it.  If secular you know you can't win.  If faithful you know you might lose, but there is an opportunity.  Not that you deserve it, but it has been provided.  I believe.  I know that path is slim.  I know I am weak.  I also know I would rather die trying, and never surrendering my faith, even if I fail.  I can do without men, not without God.  They, as with my fathers, can obviously be lived without.

Anyway, I did nothing after the last post.  I couldn't, in the literal sense.  I sat and sweated will power at the chores for several hours before failing to bed.  Still, bits are being done each day.  More today, if not right away.  Oh, I best thaw pork and a few steaks.  Tea and wake-up time.  Getting tea is a perfect time to pull food out.

Go figure.  And be careful what you request, from whom.  Later.