The gifts from the terrible.

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I wondered, even at the time.  I sensed something had changed.  A permanent change or just a momentary alteration though?  Or, maybe, just an imagining?  It truly may have been a dream.  I, personally, don't believe that.  As uncomfortable as the vision, experience, or whatever one might call it, it was one of the most intense events in my life.  How wonderful the terrible can be?

I wondered, for a time, if she was calling me home.  After some days, then weeks, passed, I then wondered the opposite.  Well, no, not damnation.  She wouldn't have visited the damned.  No.  But she might have been sent with, or for, more life.  As terrifying as the visit, as difficult to endure the heavenly, it was exquisite beyond expression.

I really, with health almost impossibly improving, wonder if she didn't bring healing... perhaps accidentally, incidentally?  The problem with the notion of healing, however, is that I don't feel better.  I wonder if their labs are false.  Perhaps the goal is to make me homeless.  Strip disability for no reason than that they can?  Repayment for blogging against their lies and tyranny.

Who knows for sure.  Then again, even if you fix the main cause, there is all the damage from thirty years of the heart being so bad.  I don't know.  If they are telling it true, though, I do suspect her visit played some roll in it.  I tell you, to this day, her visit amazes me every time I think of it.  I hope you get such an opportunity.