Not bad?

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Down right around 00:30.  Within small change.  After.

I didn't do night rounds with the critters.  As mentioned, sleep is still in negative territory.  The sun, the heat, it just hasn't allowed sleep.  Perhaps doing Japanese practice, up in t he cool, will help.  Though I have to admit, even when it is eleven degrees cooler up there, it doesn't feel all that cool.  Still, it is, so it might help.

Woke right at 06:30.  Would like to have slept a little longer.  A nap this afternoon, If possible.  But, when I woke, it felt right.  Time to get up, while it is cool.  Chores at least.  If I can rest from that, and gather my strength, while it is still cool, I would like to get out with the pick, loosen the soil, then begin digging some more.  I may do some raking as well.  Not a lot, can't do a lot.  But... might be able to do some.

After that, perhaps a shower, then putting dishes to soak, then starting towels?  I may not have gotten to those things, but I have been showering and brushing teeth, for what good that does.  Then again, it's high summer.  I am tiring even at farts!  Seriously, it's getting to me.  So, that I am doing anything is... probably a definite net positive.

I have some fans on the way, and will be looking at an evaporative cooler soon, maybe even today.  If, though, after the little bits of work and self-care planned, I am hoping to get that shackled cut off the suv.  Then, maybe tomorrow, I can empty the branches, and load it with perhaps one more load.  I am hoping one more load will do.

I am not sure if they take bags of raked branches.  I'll check on that.  If so, I'll get that done.  If not, I will bag them and get them into the trash?  Or drive them into the dump?  They may have their own greens waste area, where they may just take them for free.  Work, work, work, work, work.  Even for the dead.  Half dead?  Holy half dead?  Still, it's taken since last fall... summer? to get to these.  

Once that all is clear, then I get to begin trying to split wood, and restack the wood pile, plus cut the medium branches into useable lengths and stack those too... on the cinder blocks.  I... am getting there.  Finally.  Back on meds helps a bit.  Not doing perfectly with blood sugar, but better.  When I don't miss insulin, I go astray with food.  I feel, often, like a paper plane in a hurricane.  Surprised I haven't been smashed to bits or torn asunder by this that or the other thing.

I want to be alive, but fully.  This holy half dead crap is for the birds.  And being dead, altogether, isn't a preferred outcome if it has to become a reality someday.  It took a long time for God to get me to choose life, in spite of the pain.  But... now it's a fire and forget thing.  Once it was done, it became a once and done.  Now, I... will struggle to live. humbly as I must.

Hmm... some water.  A rest, then to see about more digging.  Good morning and day.