Not doing the best.

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Trying to get it together.  When I finally got out, I realized the temp had dropped to 72, so opened up.  It was around... hmm...  sometime between 16:30 and 17:30?  I... can't remember.  Probably no earlier.  That is a very cool evening, for having the sun still well up.  Anyway, I opened up.  That is helping, surprisingly.  Shaving three to seven degrees off the indoor reading, near the computer, already.

It looks like some animal got to the nest, of the indian runners.  Ate all the eggs.  I heard something out there recently.  Should have known.  I really shouldn't have let that racoon pup go.  They grow up, and they are simply thieves and worse.  It won't happen again.  I should get a dog, but that's more food, and more attention.  Don't get a dog unless it is a very specific breed.  But, even then, you really have to train, to some degree or other.  And feed, water, clean up after.  Bleh.  Nasty, in one sense.  At least cats go in one place, mostly.  And don't pee on tires, or... anything really.  Still, if I could get a protector dog, I just might.  Then again, my brothers dog ate his duck eggs, so...

The other ducks have hatched out some, to many.  I just can't see.  Though Kay and Penguin Girl may be staying in there, to try to hatch out more.  I hope, between them, they can bring some more out and about.  I wouldn't mind a dozen, even if all survive though that isn't likely.  When they get fed, a lot of these will go into the freezer, a few will be offered to folk who might enjoy... a trial.  And, of course, more hens could always come in handy.  A dozen girls wouldn't be bad.  I already have two drakes, so good that way.  Just... more indian runners would be super.  I have to... sort that out.

Oh... a song... yes, I... think this is the problem.  I can't feel pain, or pleasure to be honest.  I don't feel much.  For... centuries, it seems, that has been a part of the problem.  Full, I can feel that.  Not much else.  Ah, but... this is only, say, a mechanical issue?  God has blessed me to see past this.  I... don't need to feel.  I can love, if somewhat clumsily, blindly, even my enemies.  I can forgive, or leave that to God and walk away from the poison.  But it, sometimes, is all I have.  

[Lyrics]

When I'm not numb, I know only pain.  I'm... not sure which is worse.  I know I am in pain, even when I can't feel.  It is under the skin, under the numbness.  It is there, harsh.  Sometimes I see shadows of it, but that has no depth, or width, it doesn't track into the reals.  Sometimes I feel it, through a crack in the numbness.  But, while mostly numb, pain... a little of it, is as welcome as a cool breeze on a hot day.

Food, and then later more food.  I was choking.  Yes, food is required.  Yesterday my blood sugar dived to 68.  I was feeling the effects, too.  I had a sandwich.  Well, yea, that... isn't the best.  Took blood sugar to 144.  I may try to make cheese sandwiches.  Just a couple pieces of cheese, with meet between.  Maybe a touch of mayo and/or mustard, if that could make it a bit messy.

No, I'm not eating the best.  But I can't really cook, or else.  Can't afford much food either.  I have some in the freezer though, but... cooking... and keeping up on pots, pans, and else...  It just isn't working.  Insomnia, even.  The heat is just not good.  The cool from the last few days are a blessing.  But the truth is, this is probably mid-summer.  We have another month, or two, depending on how things turn out.  Though, if it is like last year, perhaps this is the new August.  And August in the new September.  Though I won't hold my breath.

Hotter this year?  Yes and no.  It has been both slightly hotter, on average... lows and highs.  But also with cool spells of very strange natures.  The weather simply isn't usual, one way or the other.  Which, as I have mentioned, is what to expect from global cooling.  If that "weather change" has nothing to do with the prideful ants dancing on it.  It's a solar thing.  See that thing in the sky?  You think we can compete with even it?  Nope.  If I were wrong, why would Mars, Venus, and the rest, be having similar "weather changes"?  Right.  Look, see, or hush up.

Hmm... up to study a bit.