.
After days, or weeks? of being fallen down, I quit trying it alone. The last few days, blindly, and with little hope, I started praying. Sometimes adding snippets during meals, usually at bedtime and at waking, and variously through the day, I would supplicate the Lord, that he be with me and guide me through whatever is wrong at this moment. I tell Him I have gone blind, and fallen into a sloth of all sorts, of which I cannot extricate myself no matter how hard I try.
As I was finishing my morning prayer, as a shot from the blue, a few things became clear in my mind. A shower, to take a shower, first thing. Then, chores, all of them. If I can't do them all at once, make sure they are all finished in short order, and check again later. Do these after the shower and posting. Read the internet later, after.
As well, two jobs for today. Tear down boxes in the front room, and maybe get those ready to go. Then, clean the bathroom, on hands and knees or otherwise as needed. Strip it, clear it, clean it. Not all can be done at once. But put break/game time on a timer. And start back on medicine.
So it was heard, so it will be. So be it.
Shower taken. After, chores. I will include the girls in this. Their litter first, then feeding. Then the ducks and rabbits. I am going to try to do all of the chores at once. Not sure I can. Then a longer break, gaming in between. But, after two or three hours, back to some work.
I think, for work, I will clear the bathroom first. Then work on tearing boxes down, for a session or two. Then, when that is finished, get back to working on the bathroom. The sink and tub first, then the toilet and floor. The toilet is in pretty good shape, the rest is pretty tough.
I have already showered. If all goes well, and I finish work today, a new list will be made tomorrow. Kitchen counters and dishes, probably. Digging out any boxes remaining in the kitchen area as well. And looking through things in the living room. Just... starts. But, the start IS where we begin. Oh, and another shower, tomorrow. This time, probably, shaving as well.
Oh, if you want to do me a spot? Pray that His will be done. In this and all His matters. Pray that we do His will. It seems, His will is left to us? Amen.
On to chores. Good 'morning', afternoon, and day. Amen, I say to thee, amen, again, brother.
I admit I find it difficult to pray that His will be done. Nothing I can do will prevent His will from being done. It *will* be done regardless of what I do. I cannot stop His will from being manifest, how much less could I ask Him to make His will manifest. It is! It will always be!
ReplyDeleteI can entreat Him to deal with you kindly and generously, and I pray that He will. But hasn't it already been written that He will do so? He said He will always be with us to the end of the age. There is where my faith is, and there is where yours should be.
I apologize for preaching to the choir. It's the inherent clergyman in me.
It... a) isn't the point. To a degree, you are correct. b) However, HOW His will gets done is quite another thing. c) And big and little aspects of His will? There are others.
ReplyDeleteHis will, through my hands, perhaps? Maybe that sounds more correct? Or, even, His will, in my life, through my hands? Right. And it is far from guaranteed. It takes me acting. More so, me acting when I am failing so terribly. Right. That... should do.
As well, to the first part? Just because He said He will, just because this, or that? Prayer isn't always about getting something, or reminding Him of His promises, but a supplication, as with honoring and praising, showing gratitude, and such. It isn't something He doesn't know. It's letting Him know we need. Perhaps even being grateful in such. It is, also, just walking with Him... as well as we can. Prayer is so many things. As good for us, regardless of any benefit we might or might not get here.
Still, up to you.
As to kindness? I... have been given heavy crosses. And, every time I am just about comfortable, they take social security, or a health issue gets worse, or... So... kindness? He made no such promise, certainly not in a worldly way. Though.... I would much rather be in my position than to be so comfortable I am numb. Every day I am forced to face my mortality, even as it evades me. Every day I suffer. And, tomorrow, it may well be worse. Amen.