Awake, pleasantly?

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No pain, water weigh most purged, not confused or foggy, really, a pretty good morning.  Not that I'll do a lot.  Still recovering.  I did some twists and flips with sleep and wakefulness, and some work, which I wasn't ready to do.  So my body is weary in ways I can't fully express.  Down to the marrow in my bones, there is an emptiness which is crushing.  Though, without pain, it isn't... so bad.  I just have to slow down, relax, and just... breath.

It'll be a week or two before I am back on my feet.  Getting back to mass is being planned.  I looked up the schedule at the closest church.  Looks like they have masses every day of the week, now.  Wednesday mass is in Spanish, but I might still go, if that is a day I can go.  I won't be able to go every day.  Just in fuel, I couldn't afford it.  But, I could go several times a week?  Plus one of the holy days (Saturday or Sunday, depending on my sleep schedule).  Really, for me, there are three masses on those days which are doable, in English.

As well, there are now two days for confession.  With the old business cleared, I can take care of these things locally and regularly.  I will be examining anger, gluttony, and laziness specifically.  I am terribly limited, in focus and function.  But I will be looking to see if these are issues, or when they are the issues.  When this close to dead, it really is a hard life.  And, yet, there might be... small increments which might be improved.  They are unknowns.  Areas which give me pause.  Of course, there are the usual.  Three months of pure chastity, at a time, is the best I have been able to do.  Usually just days.  Still, it's... an ongoing effort.  I would like to speak with those who have taken the vows, among those the ones who take them serious and keep them.  I am curious if my difficulties are... common.  Or if I just am not good at the vow.

I think I went to bed somewhere between ten and eleven, and woke after 22:00.  Perhaps half after.  Sleep was good.

I turned kefir when I woke.  Should have done it before bed, but was crashing so harshly I couldn't.  Am working the sprouts.  They are taking longer, for whatever reason.  And I need to figure out something for food today.  I may have a bit of roast?  If so, I am all good.  But I'll need to take meat out of the freezer as otherwise I am nearly out of cooked meats.  Burger, pork this time, and more chicken?  Something like that.

I need lemons, cultured buttermilk, and blue cheese from the store.  Perhaps a few potatoes.  I'm thinking I should clean and bake all those, then wrap them for the refrigerator.  To be second baked whenever needed.  A few times a week.  Not sure how long they will last in there?  May find out.  Just need one or two a week.  I'd like to check the theory of resistant starches with potatoes, rice, and... other things.  I'll start with potatoes, see if second baked spike my blood sugar, and if so by how much.  I need something else from the store, but not much.  Maybe fresh veggies, and salad?  Not a lot, but... yeah.

This week I am hoping to make more creme fraiche, ranch dressing, and this time blue cheese dressing from the same pre-ranch base.  As well, I am hoping to make mascarpone cheese.  Oh, something good with mascarpone cheese?  It is a superior stabilizer for whipped cream (homemade).  It makes it last much longer.  And, mascarpone cheese is just cream and lemon juice!  Check.

As I get these things together, I keep looking toward the crustless pumpkin pie/pudding.  The only thing I won't have squared, yet, is ricotta cheese.  But, if I actually end up making homemade butter, that... may solve itself.  Not something I would do every day, or week, or month.  More like a once a year thing.  Twice?  Like cooking turkey, or ham, or... such.  A rare treat.  

But the skills, and knowledge?  Those are priceless.  Especially considering the savings over purchased whole products of those natures.  Remember, the French merely made do.  They had a bit of cream, and some citrus, so... rather than eating each independently, they combined.  Realized one was an acid, the other reacted favorably to it.  Whatever they had, they might have little of it, fresh, at any time.  So... they learned to mix and match.  The French, other than the king... who ended up beheaded, and rightly... all kings, and queens, deserve that... were relatively poor.  Had to make due.  And did.  Ate like kings.  And, really.  Now, the king had ten courses, or fifteen.  The peasants just one or two, if lucky.

I wonder if people realize that while the king dined, a dozen people, between him and the kitchen, tasted bits.  From testing for quality, flavor, and else, some checked for poison.  Bureaucracies have existed since the first king realized he couldn't enforce things himself.  Then, even he, became a slave to the system.  But everybody who could took a bit off the king's plate, out of the treasury, etc.  All stolen from the workers.

What?  Just... chuckling.  Mostly.

On to... something.  Good 'morning', evening, night, or whatnot.