Everything is just sort of not doing well.

.

.

Not quite a fever, but a bit of discomfort in that area.  The wounds are all letting me know they are damaged, and want... something.  A few painpills... it's been a while since I've used them.  I... keep thinking about them.  Then I forget.  Which... is fine.  they don't always help.  Okay.

I'm sweating, in a different way, as I get ready for a shower.  And... all else that goes with that.  Stripping the bandages off, washing the wounds, some more raw than others.  Rebandaging.  Drying off.  Compression socks.  It won't be fun.  And... nausea has arrived.  Not sure if it is the anticipation... if I am usually not that way.  If never completely immune.  Or just from the licks and pokes of pains and hurts and aches here and there.  Meh.  Bleh.

Still?  I am grateful.  God built me to take the pain I seem to find.  To handle the resistance to what may come.  There isn't a good way out.  All will die, and it will usually be uncomfortable.  Though, what can be worse, is that... clinging to life well after it should be over.  I know this as few can.  Even so, I am grateful.  For life.  For the opportunity.  Even for the suffering.  While it doesn't allow me to know Christ all that much better, I think it allows Him to walk with me more easily?

It does help me contemplate His final days.  Well, and to see beyond it.  When you find yourself in hell, whether on earth, in fact, or such?  Keep going.  If you can't?  Then pray.  Does it help?  It doesn't hurt.  And, sometimes, yes.

Besides, suffering really is a grace.  A double grace if you learn how to suffer well.  With a smile?  When you can.  I'm... not quite ready for the shower.  But it is coming.  Not the next time I feed Sassy, but the time after that?  Maybe.  I'll clip my toenails next time I feed Sassy.  Then, set the timer for two and a half hours.  Feed Sassy again, then hop in.

I was supposed to clip my toenails this last time but... I... wasn't ready for the next step towards the rest.  Even Christ asked that the cup be taken from Him.  Heavier cup, but a bloody hard one just the same.  All good.

Well... on to... something or other.  Hope you are ready for Easter.  Hope you find prayer in your heart.  Don't pray for me.  Though, as I asked a friend?  If you wish to pray for me, pray my thanks to God.  For the many gifts.  He has the rest fairly well covered.  Has given me the strength to carry on, get up from my falls, and such.  Just thank God for what He has given me.  Amen.  Later.