Sunday, January 26, 2025

Dreams, thoughts.

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I still remember this.  Never watched the movie.  Didn't need to?  Or... did I?

Does it matter?

The idea, is right.  Dying isn't a problem, so long as you have lived.  At... least in an imperfect world.  Though... I think were are the source of the imperfection.  For as unimportant as we are?  We are, yet, everything.  Strange, but I suggest this is the truth.  We don't deserve it, but... in time, it is suggested.

As well?  What can I do?  I don't know, not fully.  Impressed I am not dead, that I haven't died, or again... and... or... stayed dead when I have died.  This time, that time, the time before I was born, maybe the time before I was conceived.  I do suspect there were more trying to kill me, even then, than one might understand.  The world is worldly, but there is more than that.  But, even more, there is God.  The princes and principalities have great and terrible power.  But God can, does, say yes, or no.

In my... thoughts, will... I have bumped into God.  Not... directly.  I think, in my current state, even if it is within graces?  It would be lethal.  Even to me, maybe more so to me?  But... when He has granted... authority, whether that is used rightly or truly?  If... the authority has been given, attempting to deny it?  That can be done, but not without failures or prices.  In my mind, when I bump into a God derived thing, I leave it be.

There was a time when I didn't.  All I can say is... now I do.  And... now I understand.  Even if these things are only dreams.  Though I suspect there is more to them then just sleeping fancies.  Even though I love God, and abide Him to the best of my ability?  These... collisions, with His will, terrify me.  I have bumped into death.  And that isn't comfortable.  But this is more like bumping into permadeath... non-being... obliteration on an eternal plain.

Anyway... on to bed.

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