So difficult.

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I keep trying to figure something out.  Food?  I just don't know.  A steak shortly?  Maybe.  Pain?  I finally gave up and took more painpills.  My chest, muscles, a few joints, all hurt or ache, but organs seem better.  Will see if painkillers help.

I am getting things together, for returns... when... I can get them to the returns stations.  But... working on it.  Tired, beyond my ability to do much.  Cold.  But I turned the heat up earlier.  Hoping that might help.

I am getting good sleep, almost excellent.  I really need to get the 1/2" plywood cut to size, for up there.  I don't thing the quarter inch will work.  I need to get the sawhorses together, plus the cross platform.  In order to work with the those full sheets.  Yea.

So miserable, sort of.  And yet close to almost... getting through.  I'll keep at it.

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Some thoughts regarding food.  Even the "organics" crowd is getting... a bit nervy.  Inside and outside the industry.  For good reason.  For all the reason I started with.

And, of course, the professional cynics do their duty.  Too bad they have to do it as memes and jokes, rather than serious journalistic investigations?  Still, get more truth this way, at least.

As things stand, in absolutes, this video has more evidence than the other, by vast amounts.  As... far as science can be trusted.  But there is more than complex science, even engineering.  There are observable, quantifiable, facts.  If, too... there is always the unknown.  Possibly the unknowable, so... I won't completely weight this, just... majority.  The other is the minority report, if not without consideration.

I would label this vid as humor, save that... it could only be considered funny if all people realized... the problems.  Like, laughing at men dressing as women is funny, IF we all understand that... isn't... any sort of reality.  Just a failure, or mistake, or even shame.  If we all know it's a gag, THEN it's funny.  It's when someone thinks Klinger has a point where it loses it's punch.  Or people really believe "organic" means anything, let alone spending three to ten times as much for the same product otherwise (or often falsely, to boot).  Bah!

Me?  Well, the truth is?  If farmers truly improved their land, enriched their soils, with rotation crops, solid farming practices, and such?  Yes, that MIGHT be better.  In a lot of ways.  But, the truth is, it isn't sustainable even so.  Why?  Because the produce grown becomes so expensive, only the wealthy (who don't even really care, more often than not) could afford it.  So, the farmer goes bankrupt.

More?  Even if the soil is naturally enriched (if that were possible, to be competitive), and the farmer didn't go under due to costs, prices, demand, supply realities?  It... might even then, in absolute truth, not be enough better, or any better in many situations, than commercial foods.  That is just the reality.

So, buy organic.  Produce, "fibers" (like cotton and wool?), and... all sorts of things (many of which absolutely could not be organic, or the fact that being organic doesn't make it any healthier (such as sugar, or seed oils)).  Buy, at a premium, what is just as likely false, or worse true but worse than standard commercially grown produce and else.  Do they have organic farmed fish?  *grins*  One a minute, someone said.  Now it's more like ten a minute, born?  More?  Much more?

If you want to know what is in your food, grow it on land you know.  You know what is used for fertilizer.  It... does have to be fertilized.  Is manure truly better, safer?  Is compost truly healthier?  Safer, for the environment.  But you too?  I really don't know, and most people who tell you they know... really don't objectively know.  They merely think they know.

I have been digging into this topic for twenty years, and between bad studies, bad actor scientist and biologists (most of them, to either side), contrary outputs, confusing inputs, bad science, and more?  If I were to buy, it would not be from farmers markets'.  It would be from non-organic local growers, who are proud of their crop, and eat it themselves.  Or, if there was any way, and I have tried, to grow my own.  I'd love to grow a few tomatoes, even.  Maybe a couple of hanging vines of cucumbers.  Squash?  Green beans?  Turnips?  I... just... can't keep up.

You know, a woman, who I could help with these things from time to time?  I could do part time, a third to a quarter of the work.  That's all.  But that might be enough to help a good woman do the rest.  And... supply her wants and needs for planting and growing.  Yeah.  They might be girls, but they can be okay girls!  :p

Yeah, well, thinking out loud.  Hmm... might try to grow a few tomatoes, in big planters, this year?  Maybe.  Perhaps even figure out how to create a vertical vine hang, for cucumbers?  Even if it all fails, it would be... a start, again.  Because, yes, I believe in good food, and the truth of it is that it starts at home.  Going a bit further, out, takes trust.

Later.