.
.
I tried to post my apartment at two online sites. On one I could not find a way to post the place, the other site would not let me post despite everything being correct. I think the latter site did not like me not having a local phone number, but did not implicitly indicate that. I will speak with the manager tomorrow and see if she will field calls, or at least redirect them. What a pain.
After that my neighbor wanted to drive to Ogden. Prices for reloading expendables are far cheaper there. For 500 .38 caliber bullets, he paid $21 and change, here it was $45, for example. As well, there is the bit about getting out of the apartment and Logan for a bit. I picked up more .22 ammunition, the kind I like. On the way home we stopped at a decent place to eat, though I cannot remember the name of the place. Maddox, actually, now that I think about it. In spite of a packed parking lot it only took a five minute wait to be seated. My stomach voted for the 1 pound ribeye but my wallet vetoed that and I ended up with fried chicken. I will have to go back some time, though. I am curious, plus, they raise their own beef (and bison if you are into that). As I have said in a comment response, beef is expensive here. Weird for a beef raising community. Maybe it is because beef is considered a luxury here, or because it is not as valued as a meal (with low demand quite often one finds higher prices). Then again, I have only been here a month, prices might flex like they do in Iowa, and a lot.
I have been tired since I woke up and it has not improved. No matter how much or how little I do, I am tired. I was able to break out of that before, but on these medicines I do not think that will be possible. I had thought more water might help, but so far, in the short run, it has had no affect at all. And, without the water pill, I bet I am becoming water logged on this medicine. Tylenol helps with the neck strain and headache only about half or less of the time now. I am not sure what to do, other than to quit all medicine again when the time is ripe. I must have a more severe reaction to this stuff as no one could possibly work like this, not well for sure. Simply getting up for work and being on time would not be possible on a regular schedule if most had my level of reaction.
I tried to take some pictures again today. But it seems my camera is well and truly broken. I will have to wait until I can afford a new camera (probably a used film 35mm Nikon, an F100, F5, or maybe even an F6, body and a standard lens to start things off). But that will be a $500 to $600 proposition, so it goes on the list with everything else on the long list, if it does have some priority. It might even come before a hunting rifle and scope. Who knows. Now I have a bunch of small Frisbees, what had been it's 'film', that I just received. Though those can be used for data. Well, actually, I almost never record to CDs or DVDs, so, yes, Frisbees.
I had commented on one of Jean's posts about my place in life, and regarding having little left to spend. She had commented along the lines of my comment being true, depending on whether I was happy with my place and lot in life at this point in time in my life. Well, that is difficult. I guess my deal is that I threw my life away and it was handed back, several times in several ways. So, everything in life has been, in a way, gravy since then. Simply put, most people do not get the chance to live beyond a dozen things I have survived.
And, though I am not where I wanted to be when I was young, I have no career, no knowledge with which to obtain one, no health to hope for one beyond a minor miracle, and my health is in the tank, that my heart is still beating, that I am in a relatively decent financial situation considering, and that I have come to bow before Christ and to be attempting to live a Christian life, that has great merit. Sometimes I still wonder if death would not have been better, but no, no it would not have been. And as for the dreams of my youth, I could not have fulfilled them all as I have come to know. As I have learned, to be a honest Christian, a semi-educated man, and to have friends and family, in the end, is enough. Anything I might or might not attain after that is only richer gravy than the extra living gravy grace I have already been shown.
I am grateful to have been given a chance to see more of life and to have come to enjoy life, even in my wretched states of existence at times. So, that is the answer to that, for me. It is as well stated as I am able. Sure, I would love to be doing research and development in some engineering field, or to be a outdoor living, hunting, and survival guru, or to be a master craftsman producing top notch firearms for large dollars. Not all get there. As a fact, few to the point of statistical insignificance get there both because of the difficulty of the tracks as well as the lack of need for such people. But I am here, humble as I may be, still interested in life, and still with a pocket full of small hopes and dreams. And, I am saved to my knowledge. Maybe it is not glorious, spectacular, wealthy, or famous, it is good, and not just good enough.
Ackh! Tylenol and sleep.
Good night.
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Awake at 2:00.
.
.
I seem to have copied yesterday and woke at the same time. I could not get back to sleep and yet I was not awake enough to do be productive in any manner, so I tinkered. That is not helping me get back to sleep so I believe I will read a bit. There are many things to do in the days and weeks ahead and I am nervous about several of them. While money will remain a bit tight, I have a lot of spending to do. I am not sure how I will get it done, but I think I can do it. The double rent potential is hanging over my head like an axe, as well. Nothing like money worries to keep one from sleeping soundly. I suppose I can only do what I can do, I will leave this in God's hands.
If I am able to sleep well enough shortly, I should be able to take care of some of those worries tomorrow. Others will just have to tend to themselves, after I have done my part. Once I have done my part though, it seems a great deal of stress is lifted if it is replaced by a longer term lower level stress. I have come to believe that most things in life are like that. The healthy juggle those with seeming impunity, though too after a long week it is easy to see the strain on even a healthy face. Time takes a toll in this way. I almost wonder if aging is more of an accumulation of these stresses than of anything time does, to some extent. Though too, I think God capped us at 120 years, give or take. And, yeah, I do believe He did.
Just checking in. Now I am checking out. My eyes should be able to handle reading now, and perhaps that will help me sleep.
Good night, I hope.
.
I seem to have copied yesterday and woke at the same time. I could not get back to sleep and yet I was not awake enough to do be productive in any manner, so I tinkered. That is not helping me get back to sleep so I believe I will read a bit. There are many things to do in the days and weeks ahead and I am nervous about several of them. While money will remain a bit tight, I have a lot of spending to do. I am not sure how I will get it done, but I think I can do it. The double rent potential is hanging over my head like an axe, as well. Nothing like money worries to keep one from sleeping soundly. I suppose I can only do what I can do, I will leave this in God's hands.
If I am able to sleep well enough shortly, I should be able to take care of some of those worries tomorrow. Others will just have to tend to themselves, after I have done my part. Once I have done my part though, it seems a great deal of stress is lifted if it is replaced by a longer term lower level stress. I have come to believe that most things in life are like that. The healthy juggle those with seeming impunity, though too after a long week it is easy to see the strain on even a healthy face. Time takes a toll in this way. I almost wonder if aging is more of an accumulation of these stresses than of anything time does, to some extent. Though too, I think God capped us at 120 years, give or take. And, yeah, I do believe He did.
Just checking in. Now I am checking out. My eyes should be able to handle reading now, and perhaps that will help me sleep.
Good night, I hope.
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Nicely played, considering.
.
.
Today has been a roundly satisfying success. To be sure, I could have done more. Also to be sure, I could have failed on many accounts. I have finished most of my list from the start of the week and completed several other things, if all minor. I was able to travel, track ongoing works, be on time, and take care of all the little details I had hoped at least within what I was doing. I cannot say I am back on track but that I was able to successfully negotiate the day has been good for my sorely put upon confidence.
My Mom called and it seems she will be going to the upcoming family reunion for our family of friends. So, I will need to see about lodging. Since half of the reason for going was to see her, this will be great. The food will be fantastic, you must trust me. But to see people from my childhood, some of them who still linger in direct memory and some who may return to memory when met, should be a fine exploration of my youth and, more importantly, the rest of their stories. There is one in particular, a kindly woman who I remember as the quiet person while sometimes the world stormed around my little life. It will be very good to see her. She stands out as a saint in my mind, and I think she is one. Especially if she does not know it, more so probably.
I have some reason to believe that someone in the V.A. reads my blog. No, I am not paranoid about it. I think it is good for them to see what some of us think, truly. And, to see how I blame them, sometimes, out of frustration with medicine that just wallops me, to see me go through that and end up (hopefully) simply understanding that perhaps it is simply the medicines, not the messenger, which is at fault. Perhaps too, they may see that I try as well as I may. The reason I think this is that, as soon as I wrote about the medicines I received and that I would not take anything new (at least until I spoke with someone about it), I received a call the very next day about that very matter, and weeks after my appointment (they could have called at any time, the timing seems interesting). There are other items, but that is enough for now.
I can see it, too, as many people do read blogs. If their profession or work place is included in a blog, they might well search for it. All it would take is one snooper to find it and then share it. Then it might easily become a distraction during lulls, or even an after work curiosity. I am sure, if that is so, my bold angry suggestions and conservative notions bend more than a few noses out of joint. But it might cause pause for thought and a different perspective if that initial hatred can be overcome. Still, it is funny. I am pretty sure the last college I attended also looked in. Oddly, I found that I received mostly good reactions, and understanding. But, they were good people as I came to know. I do think most are, most people, or they desperately try and want to be. Though, as I have written, being good is not a concept of self and it is not as easy as 'being nice', it requires much work, planning, and follow through. And still we fail, if there is a way for that to be mitigated as well. If not a of much worth at anything great within or without of the Church, I do attempt to at least profess.
I am really chewing through the bible. And, as I said, I am attempting not to study. This initial re-reading is simply to lay the groundwork for study. When read, and I find something I do not understand while studying, then it is a simpler thing to go to the reference books and have a feeling for the reference. As well, much of what I am reading is going into the big brain intake machine and, hopefully along with the Holy Spirit, is guiding that very powerful subconscious matter to wisdom and learning converter. I am halfway through 1 Corinthians.
I am not trying to speed read though I am not dallying. I do not set a number of page quota. I do not even track it. I simply read when I have little else to do, feel a compulsion, or even as a bedtime activity to calm me before prayer. When I finish, I will need to begin finding or buying study books for the various books. There are some other books out there which help a good deal as well. Through time, I should be able to allocate reasonable resources to this life long project and have at my disposal some of the more important tomes and other writings. As well, I am quite sure there are many great writers who will add to my understanding. Chesterton to Aquinas to any number of nuns, priests, and the rest who have helped define what is my Church. Or, I should say, the Church to which I am a member.
I hope to find a decent dry cleaner this week, and get some things tended so as to feel more comfortable at church. I have two or three sets of clothes out which I could wear to Church, but some of the items are quite wrinkled. I also have several sets of good shoes. But what makes me nervous is not knowing exactly what is appropriate and socially acceptable to wear initially. Some churches are quite strict and conservative, some are quite liberal (not my preferred), and many will tell you it does not matter what you were, but to my mind it really does. Those not dressed properly for the wedding feast are thrown out. And, though I will relax my wear a bit to be more social, I will not dishonor the feast of my Host.
Lots left to do, some things done, time is ticking, but this day is done. I have enjoyed it immensely. I will need to do many things in the next few days, most of it can be done very quickly or even here at home. I am trying to hydrate, but it is difficult to drink enough water here, I think, over long periods of time. I try to keep a jug of water at the ready, and a glass in which to pour it, and a pint or two an hour seems simple enough, but life happens and time flies so that it is not so simple. And, water gets boring. Perhaps the soda water will help, and I do love it. Oh, naps are nice on busy days, no? Yes, if you are not sure I thought I would help. Yes they are.
That is that for that. Have a great day!
.
Today has been a roundly satisfying success. To be sure, I could have done more. Also to be sure, I could have failed on many accounts. I have finished most of my list from the start of the week and completed several other things, if all minor. I was able to travel, track ongoing works, be on time, and take care of all the little details I had hoped at least within what I was doing. I cannot say I am back on track but that I was able to successfully negotiate the day has been good for my sorely put upon confidence.
My Mom called and it seems she will be going to the upcoming family reunion for our family of friends. So, I will need to see about lodging. Since half of the reason for going was to see her, this will be great. The food will be fantastic, you must trust me. But to see people from my childhood, some of them who still linger in direct memory and some who may return to memory when met, should be a fine exploration of my youth and, more importantly, the rest of their stories. There is one in particular, a kindly woman who I remember as the quiet person while sometimes the world stormed around my little life. It will be very good to see her. She stands out as a saint in my mind, and I think she is one. Especially if she does not know it, more so probably.
I have some reason to believe that someone in the V.A. reads my blog. No, I am not paranoid about it. I think it is good for them to see what some of us think, truly. And, to see how I blame them, sometimes, out of frustration with medicine that just wallops me, to see me go through that and end up (hopefully) simply understanding that perhaps it is simply the medicines, not the messenger, which is at fault. Perhaps too, they may see that I try as well as I may. The reason I think this is that, as soon as I wrote about the medicines I received and that I would not take anything new (at least until I spoke with someone about it), I received a call the very next day about that very matter, and weeks after my appointment (they could have called at any time, the timing seems interesting). There are other items, but that is enough for now.
I can see it, too, as many people do read blogs. If their profession or work place is included in a blog, they might well search for it. All it would take is one snooper to find it and then share it. Then it might easily become a distraction during lulls, or even an after work curiosity. I am sure, if that is so, my bold angry suggestions and conservative notions bend more than a few noses out of joint. But it might cause pause for thought and a different perspective if that initial hatred can be overcome. Still, it is funny. I am pretty sure the last college I attended also looked in. Oddly, I found that I received mostly good reactions, and understanding. But, they were good people as I came to know. I do think most are, most people, or they desperately try and want to be. Though, as I have written, being good is not a concept of self and it is not as easy as 'being nice', it requires much work, planning, and follow through. And still we fail, if there is a way for that to be mitigated as well. If not a of much worth at anything great within or without of the Church, I do attempt to at least profess.
I am really chewing through the bible. And, as I said, I am attempting not to study. This initial re-reading is simply to lay the groundwork for study. When read, and I find something I do not understand while studying, then it is a simpler thing to go to the reference books and have a feeling for the reference. As well, much of what I am reading is going into the big brain intake machine and, hopefully along with the Holy Spirit, is guiding that very powerful subconscious matter to wisdom and learning converter. I am halfway through 1 Corinthians.
I am not trying to speed read though I am not dallying. I do not set a number of page quota. I do not even track it. I simply read when I have little else to do, feel a compulsion, or even as a bedtime activity to calm me before prayer. When I finish, I will need to begin finding or buying study books for the various books. There are some other books out there which help a good deal as well. Through time, I should be able to allocate reasonable resources to this life long project and have at my disposal some of the more important tomes and other writings. As well, I am quite sure there are many great writers who will add to my understanding. Chesterton to Aquinas to any number of nuns, priests, and the rest who have helped define what is my Church. Or, I should say, the Church to which I am a member.
I hope to find a decent dry cleaner this week, and get some things tended so as to feel more comfortable at church. I have two or three sets of clothes out which I could wear to Church, but some of the items are quite wrinkled. I also have several sets of good shoes. But what makes me nervous is not knowing exactly what is appropriate and socially acceptable to wear initially. Some churches are quite strict and conservative, some are quite liberal (not my preferred), and many will tell you it does not matter what you were, but to my mind it really does. Those not dressed properly for the wedding feast are thrown out. And, though I will relax my wear a bit to be more social, I will not dishonor the feast of my Host.
Lots left to do, some things done, time is ticking, but this day is done. I have enjoyed it immensely. I will need to do many things in the next few days, most of it can be done very quickly or even here at home. I am trying to hydrate, but it is difficult to drink enough water here, I think, over long periods of time. I try to keep a jug of water at the ready, and a glass in which to pour it, and a pint or two an hour seems simple enough, but life happens and time flies so that it is not so simple. And, water gets boring. Perhaps the soda water will help, and I do love it. Oh, naps are nice on busy days, no? Yes, if you are not sure I thought I would help. Yes they are.
That is that for that. Have a great day!
Not a bad trip at all.
.
.
I was a bit surprised at how well I slept. How easy it was to wake up, eat, shower and all. And then the drive was simply pleasant. Not that I am not a bit weary, but then I ought to be. It is a bit of a drive, traffic was from heavy to get out and walk speed heavy, and it is not my usual time of day. I enjoyed it, oddly, immensely. And, the end of my trip there, the V.A. Hospital, was a pleasant thing. Not only did I have no difficulty finding the V.A. Hospital, there was plenty of easy access parking. The lot was both large and the spaces large enough for easy use. It looked to be a clean facility. And, to my notions, it was very good.
I was seen on time, maybe a bit early. The young woman, an intern (are optometrists/ophthalmologists trainees called interns?), saw me and did most of my review. My eyes, it seems have improved. They had been the same for many (7?) years until now. She kept trying to get me to ask for bifocals. Simply put, I do not need them. She tried three or four times, and I kept saying that I do not need them at all. After she did this, that, and some other things, she set up the machine for glasses. After she finished, the doctor came in, did a few things here and there, critiqued and adjusted, and was quite thorough. I have need of another test, but that is in another part of the building and they could not do that today. He talked to me about diabetes and a few other things. Apparently most people with my vision have strengthened nerves in one part of the eye, while I have weakened ones, hence in part the extra test. I think it bugs them that I have not gone blind, that my eyes have improved, and that other things do not support much of their understanding about eyes, diabetes, and high blood pressure. I simply do not fit the mold.
Okay, fine. I will, as I said, begin changing my diet a bit. I will quit fast food, I have already quit regular soda again, and I will watch some things I eat. But I will not quit milk, cheese (though it is a rarity), and real foods. I will quit sugar, though I had not really returned to it, and I will watch things a bit. No more medicine though, it does not work. More water, though, but for more reasons than just this. Oh, he suggested Arizona green tea, diet, which uses Splenda or the equivalent. He, it seems, has his own issues with diabetes.
As I was leaving, I decided to put in a travel chit. They did not have me do the paperwork, they merely took my name and last four, typed it into the machine, and had me step over to the check out counter. The form needed was being printed as I stepped over. They gave me cash on the spot, and it was pretty dear. I was quite surprised, and pleased. Being low on cash this month, it was nice.
The drive back went smoothly. Even though they did dilate my eyes, the sunglasses worked perfectly. Without them, everybody had halos, or more karma rings. Well, the appearance of such. I did pull in and look over the organic place I had written about. It was easy enough to find and I have figured out the best way to get into their lot. It is not as big as I might have thought, but it should do quite well. On to home. I ran into more traffic problems on the way home than the way up, but the jam was short lived, and after only a hundred miles, I could again drive over 2 mph. I fib.
When I arrived in Logan, I decided to stop at my storage unit. I had to dig and peck and restack to find what I was looking for, but I did find it. And I found another box with engineering and math books I had considered bringing back. That takes care of what I wanted from the storage. Now to start getting things from here to there. And, though I really want a nap, I need to stay up long enough to get the vehicle sticker and ask about the places to advertise again. I just hope I do not talk funny for being tired. My voice goes up in pitch and down in volume, when I am extremely tired. It makes me sound weak, mostly because I am at those times.
Not bad. I wonder if drinking a lot more water and non-sugary drinks will help me out of this funk. I sure hope so. Today is the start of that re-hydration process. If it works, I should know by next Wednesday.
Have a great day!
.
I was a bit surprised at how well I slept. How easy it was to wake up, eat, shower and all. And then the drive was simply pleasant. Not that I am not a bit weary, but then I ought to be. It is a bit of a drive, traffic was from heavy to get out and walk speed heavy, and it is not my usual time of day. I enjoyed it, oddly, immensely. And, the end of my trip there, the V.A. Hospital, was a pleasant thing. Not only did I have no difficulty finding the V.A. Hospital, there was plenty of easy access parking. The lot was both large and the spaces large enough for easy use. It looked to be a clean facility. And, to my notions, it was very good.
I was seen on time, maybe a bit early. The young woman, an intern (are optometrists/ophthalmologists trainees called interns?), saw me and did most of my review. My eyes, it seems have improved. They had been the same for many (7?) years until now. She kept trying to get me to ask for bifocals. Simply put, I do not need them. She tried three or four times, and I kept saying that I do not need them at all. After she did this, that, and some other things, she set up the machine for glasses. After she finished, the doctor came in, did a few things here and there, critiqued and adjusted, and was quite thorough. I have need of another test, but that is in another part of the building and they could not do that today. He talked to me about diabetes and a few other things. Apparently most people with my vision have strengthened nerves in one part of the eye, while I have weakened ones, hence in part the extra test. I think it bugs them that I have not gone blind, that my eyes have improved, and that other things do not support much of their understanding about eyes, diabetes, and high blood pressure. I simply do not fit the mold.
Okay, fine. I will, as I said, begin changing my diet a bit. I will quit fast food, I have already quit regular soda again, and I will watch some things I eat. But I will not quit milk, cheese (though it is a rarity), and real foods. I will quit sugar, though I had not really returned to it, and I will watch things a bit. No more medicine though, it does not work. More water, though, but for more reasons than just this. Oh, he suggested Arizona green tea, diet, which uses Splenda or the equivalent. He, it seems, has his own issues with diabetes.
As I was leaving, I decided to put in a travel chit. They did not have me do the paperwork, they merely took my name and last four, typed it into the machine, and had me step over to the check out counter. The form needed was being printed as I stepped over. They gave me cash on the spot, and it was pretty dear. I was quite surprised, and pleased. Being low on cash this month, it was nice.
The drive back went smoothly. Even though they did dilate my eyes, the sunglasses worked perfectly. Without them, everybody had halos, or more karma rings. Well, the appearance of such. I did pull in and look over the organic place I had written about. It was easy enough to find and I have figured out the best way to get into their lot. It is not as big as I might have thought, but it should do quite well. On to home. I ran into more traffic problems on the way home than the way up, but the jam was short lived, and after only a hundred miles, I could again drive over 2 mph. I fib.
When I arrived in Logan, I decided to stop at my storage unit. I had to dig and peck and restack to find what I was looking for, but I did find it. And I found another box with engineering and math books I had considered bringing back. That takes care of what I wanted from the storage. Now to start getting things from here to there. And, though I really want a nap, I need to stay up long enough to get the vehicle sticker and ask about the places to advertise again. I just hope I do not talk funny for being tired. My voice goes up in pitch and down in volume, when I am extremely tired. It makes me sound weak, mostly because I am at those times.
Not bad. I wonder if drinking a lot more water and non-sugary drinks will help me out of this funk. I sure hope so. Today is the start of that re-hydration process. If it works, I should know by next Wednesday.
Have a great day!
I just thought of something.
.
.
The problems I am having, though indeed have roots in the medicine, may have another additive that I can correct. Dehydration plagued me when I first arrived. I have since been able to get by with a great deal less water. However, going on the medicine may have once again increased my need for hydration. Add to that, I have been drinking the wrong kind of fluid, namely soda, and my problems may have been added then compounded. One of the reasons for buying the soda siphon was to get away from sweetened soda altogether. Which I am doing. But now, to add to how much regular water I am drinking again.
It is all the minor details. Bits and pieces. I cannot be sure this will help, or if it is even wise on these medications. It is worth a shot though. Who wants to live with perilous conditions? I promise you, I do not prefer death, it is merely that I will not choose vast incapacity and duration over a fully lived life and a natural death. I do hope this works. I have a few more weeks to try this out.
Oops, best be getting on the road.
Good day, again!
.
The problems I am having, though indeed have roots in the medicine, may have another additive that I can correct. Dehydration plagued me when I first arrived. I have since been able to get by with a great deal less water. However, going on the medicine may have once again increased my need for hydration. Add to that, I have been drinking the wrong kind of fluid, namely soda, and my problems may have been added then compounded. One of the reasons for buying the soda siphon was to get away from sweetened soda altogether. Which I am doing. But now, to add to how much regular water I am drinking again.
It is all the minor details. Bits and pieces. I cannot be sure this will help, or if it is even wise on these medications. It is worth a shot though. Who wants to live with perilous conditions? I promise you, I do not prefer death, it is merely that I will not choose vast incapacity and duration over a fully lived life and a natural death. I do hope this works. I have a few more weeks to try this out.
Oops, best be getting on the road.
Good day, again!
Problematic, but there is a timer running down.
.
.
I have been having side affect issues again. I have been having headaches and neck aches, if not quite as bad as before these also seem to have become impervious to Tylenol. As well, fever has been coming and going and more so than just flashes. And, of course, exhaustion is back with me, worse than I have had it since I have been here. I did promise I would take these medicines for a month. If they have significantly functioned AND she would consider an additive at the end of my trial period, I might consider continuation. That is a slim chance, so I fully expect to end my medication and involvement with the medical side of the establishment out here when next I visit. Medicine is only for some people I guess.
I was able to sleep well and easily last night at about 18:00 (in spite of having slept 12 hours and waking at 14:00, if that tells you anything). I woke at 2:00, just now, got up, and made a decent breakfast of eggs, a sausage, a very thin pork chop, potatoes, coffee, and milk. It sounds like a lot, and to some it probably is, but to me, it is probably about the right sized meal for a busy day. I will drink the last of the coffee and make another round of it, mostly for on the road. Oh, and I ought to take another round of Tylenol, just in case it might start working again or might prevent the systems from getting worse.
I should be back in time to take care of the final things on my list, minus a fingerprint card. I will have to look over the data sheet the police office offered me, just in case there is one police agency which will do it in the afternoon. I glanced at it quickly, yesterday, and maybe too quickly. I was already becoming exhausted when I received it. I have to wonder if I really need it, but I do want that cleared up. Most sheriffs do not abide by that, not bothering to check NICS in any case, when handing out permits. Which should tell people something. But I want this thing tended. I am pretty sure it is an improper breach of my real civil rights based on some liberal's (mis)interpretation of the law. Anything created in part for and in part by the Brady bunch (half a mind to quit) is probably just what I suggest it is.
One of the things on my list today is target practice. This time I am going to move the target much closer and see if I can figure out my aiming problem. Part of my problem is not being able to see my shots. Yes, I probably could take the spotting scope, but that would mean single shots, then trying to see if I could spot that particular shot, then re-aiming, then... Plus, as is, so much stuff is going to the range that it is becoming a busy thing. I know, it cannot all be fun, but darn it, it should not all be work either.
Still, if it means anything, I am doing better than Iowa, regardless of the medicines. But it is fast becoming only as good as the best I did in Iowa which is clearly unacceptable. I would not be able to, in good conscience, attempt school as is. And, I probably would not be able to do any outdoor activities in this condition either. I do have options, as do they, but if no one blinks, this game is over. And, as I said, if all that is left to me is a short time of retirement and outdoor activity, then a quick death, I am good with that. Of course, I do not believe my doctors either, necessarily. I have had, pretty much untreatable, high blood pressure for over a decade now. How deadly could it be? The lowest I have seen it, for the most part, is 158/110 and it ranges up to 207/127. I do not think they understand the term deadly. Ha!
I was able to use my soda siphon correctly the second time. I looked over the parts and they are metal, so I was less worried about breaking anything. Still, I just tightened it to what I had thought was good enough initially, then gave it just a little extra. It is great, drinking it alone or adding it to juice or such has been good. I am glad I bought two, as one goes pretty fast. Though I may end up going through a lot of cartridges quickly, so I ought to ration a bit. Finally, after wanting this thing for 5 years, I have it.
Oh, I had hoped to get stuff moved from the house to storage and a few things back. That will, most likely, have to wait until tomorrow (or the next day, or even the day after that, considering how I am doing). Still, I can begin round up and stacking what is to go back. What is to be brought home is only one box of goods I forgot to bring back. It is the study material for physics, calculus, and something else. And I never did end up taking notes from the online courses I had meant get done. But after the appointment today, I should have a good bit of time to be more active in the cave, since being out will still be too hot and my ability to get out has shrunk. Hmm, if I end up quitting meds as I suspect I will be doing, I will be doing that right at the right time to get out hiking and camping and fishing, right as the weather will be cooling to make life out there more bearable.
Oh, and the other thing on my list, that of getting information about where to place an add for this apartment, will be done today as well. I have to stop in and visit with the manager anyway. We need to have stickers for our vehicles to park in the lot here at the apartment complex after September (I believe), or we will have our vehicle booted or towed. Today is the last day, officially, to do that. So, I best get in and get that. Yes, I am mostly just treading water, at this point. I am no longer swimming and I have no direction. One way or another, this will end come the 11th, my next appointment and the end of my promised taking of medicine.
I think I will tinker a bit, then shower in an hour, and get ready to go. Bah, I need to shave again! Oh, the Tylenol did take the edge off the pain. The fever and overall feeling of swelling and dissociation remains, but at least most of the achyness has dissipated, for a while. At least I have kept my word about the medicine, in spite of it all.
Have a great day!
.
I have been having side affect issues again. I have been having headaches and neck aches, if not quite as bad as before these also seem to have become impervious to Tylenol. As well, fever has been coming and going and more so than just flashes. And, of course, exhaustion is back with me, worse than I have had it since I have been here. I did promise I would take these medicines for a month. If they have significantly functioned AND she would consider an additive at the end of my trial period, I might consider continuation. That is a slim chance, so I fully expect to end my medication and involvement with the medical side of the establishment out here when next I visit. Medicine is only for some people I guess.
I was able to sleep well and easily last night at about 18:00 (in spite of having slept 12 hours and waking at 14:00, if that tells you anything). I woke at 2:00, just now, got up, and made a decent breakfast of eggs, a sausage, a very thin pork chop, potatoes, coffee, and milk. It sounds like a lot, and to some it probably is, but to me, it is probably about the right sized meal for a busy day. I will drink the last of the coffee and make another round of it, mostly for on the road. Oh, and I ought to take another round of Tylenol, just in case it might start working again or might prevent the systems from getting worse.
I should be back in time to take care of the final things on my list, minus a fingerprint card. I will have to look over the data sheet the police office offered me, just in case there is one police agency which will do it in the afternoon. I glanced at it quickly, yesterday, and maybe too quickly. I was already becoming exhausted when I received it. I have to wonder if I really need it, but I do want that cleared up. Most sheriffs do not abide by that, not bothering to check NICS in any case, when handing out permits. Which should tell people something. But I want this thing tended. I am pretty sure it is an improper breach of my real civil rights based on some liberal's (mis)interpretation of the law. Anything created in part for and in part by the Brady bunch (half a mind to quit) is probably just what I suggest it is.
One of the things on my list today is target practice. This time I am going to move the target much closer and see if I can figure out my aiming problem. Part of my problem is not being able to see my shots. Yes, I probably could take the spotting scope, but that would mean single shots, then trying to see if I could spot that particular shot, then re-aiming, then... Plus, as is, so much stuff is going to the range that it is becoming a busy thing. I know, it cannot all be fun, but darn it, it should not all be work either.
Still, if it means anything, I am doing better than Iowa, regardless of the medicines. But it is fast becoming only as good as the best I did in Iowa which is clearly unacceptable. I would not be able to, in good conscience, attempt school as is. And, I probably would not be able to do any outdoor activities in this condition either. I do have options, as do they, but if no one blinks, this game is over. And, as I said, if all that is left to me is a short time of retirement and outdoor activity, then a quick death, I am good with that. Of course, I do not believe my doctors either, necessarily. I have had, pretty much untreatable, high blood pressure for over a decade now. How deadly could it be? The lowest I have seen it, for the most part, is 158/110 and it ranges up to 207/127. I do not think they understand the term deadly. Ha!
I was able to use my soda siphon correctly the second time. I looked over the parts and they are metal, so I was less worried about breaking anything. Still, I just tightened it to what I had thought was good enough initially, then gave it just a little extra. It is great, drinking it alone or adding it to juice or such has been good. I am glad I bought two, as one goes pretty fast. Though I may end up going through a lot of cartridges quickly, so I ought to ration a bit. Finally, after wanting this thing for 5 years, I have it.
Oh, I had hoped to get stuff moved from the house to storage and a few things back. That will, most likely, have to wait until tomorrow (or the next day, or even the day after that, considering how I am doing). Still, I can begin round up and stacking what is to go back. What is to be brought home is only one box of goods I forgot to bring back. It is the study material for physics, calculus, and something else. And I never did end up taking notes from the online courses I had meant get done. But after the appointment today, I should have a good bit of time to be more active in the cave, since being out will still be too hot and my ability to get out has shrunk. Hmm, if I end up quitting meds as I suspect I will be doing, I will be doing that right at the right time to get out hiking and camping and fishing, right as the weather will be cooling to make life out there more bearable.
Oh, and the other thing on my list, that of getting information about where to place an add for this apartment, will be done today as well. I have to stop in and visit with the manager anyway. We need to have stickers for our vehicles to park in the lot here at the apartment complex after September (I believe), or we will have our vehicle booted or towed. Today is the last day, officially, to do that. So, I best get in and get that. Yes, I am mostly just treading water, at this point. I am no longer swimming and I have no direction. One way or another, this will end come the 11th, my next appointment and the end of my promised taking of medicine.
I think I will tinker a bit, then shower in an hour, and get ready to go. Bah, I need to shave again! Oh, the Tylenol did take the edge off the pain. The fever and overall feeling of swelling and dissociation remains, but at least most of the achyness has dissipated, for a while. At least I have kept my word about the medicine, in spite of it all.
Have a great day!
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
A tough couple of days.
.
.
I did not get done yesterday what I had planned. I did make it to the store but that was it. Today was only slightly better. I went to the police station to get a fingerprint card, but they no longer do that. They offered me a number of other places which do this but they do it in the mornings. I also, today, called to see if my appointments were correct, and they are. Then I asked to be switched to pharmacy. After speaking with them, it does seem as though they sent the medicine, so that must have been the package that was returned. And, they did not have my apartment number in my address, as the post office card had suggested was the problem, so we corrected that. When I arrived home, I found packages from the V.A. One of them had been opened, so I can use nothing in it. But it contained weird things, medicine I have not been prescribed here, and one medicine I have not been prescribed anywhere, a pill for high cholesterol (which I do not have). The box contained a Accu-Chek blood glucose reader (which I knew was probably a problem).
But I did not receive a water pill or the rest of my 90 day supply of high blood pressure medicine, I can hope when they get it back they will use my full address. In any case, I am not going to take anything else, certainly without talking to my doctor (nurse practitioner), and not until I get the high blood pressure squared away or decided against treatment(s) in any case. One thing at a time, and maybe none of it if they push too hard or fast. If I need 5 pills to stay alive, along with their screwy side affects, then I guess I am going to die. Screw that and the horse it rides in on. But I will check my blood sugar.
Oh well. Back to the start. I really thought I could take charge of my medicine, the high blood pressure pills anyway, but it looks like not. It is pounding me into the ground, again. Still, I will take it until the month is over, and see where we can negotiate from there. If nothing else, I should have dental and eye covered by then. I may end up not being interested, at all, in anything else.
My birthday present arrived today. I have produced my first bottle of fizzy water with it. I will have to practice with it though. I did not tighten it enough, so that when I installed the CO2 cartridge, I took a minor shower. I can definitely tighten it tighter, but I tend to break things if I do not use utmost care. I strip things with less than my maximum hand tightening ability, so I try to err on the side of caution. With everything being plastic today, I have to use even more caution. Still, I think I can get this to work right and well in no time.
My first appointment, with the eye doctor, at the V.A. in SLC is tomorrow at 8:30. So, I will need to try and sleep and rest as I can to be ready for the two to three hour drive (and start a little earlier still, as there may be traffic jams on the way). Since it is the eye clinic, I can have breakfast if I get there too early. I bet they are going to dilate too, which will mean I really need to take sun glasses, and probably wait there an hour or two after the procedure. I truly hate that test. But I know they need it.
Good day.
.
I did not get done yesterday what I had planned. I did make it to the store but that was it. Today was only slightly better. I went to the police station to get a fingerprint card, but they no longer do that. They offered me a number of other places which do this but they do it in the mornings. I also, today, called to see if my appointments were correct, and they are. Then I asked to be switched to pharmacy. After speaking with them, it does seem as though they sent the medicine, so that must have been the package that was returned. And, they did not have my apartment number in my address, as the post office card had suggested was the problem, so we corrected that. When I arrived home, I found packages from the V.A. One of them had been opened, so I can use nothing in it. But it contained weird things, medicine I have not been prescribed here, and one medicine I have not been prescribed anywhere, a pill for high cholesterol (which I do not have). The box contained a Accu-Chek blood glucose reader (which I knew was probably a problem).
But I did not receive a water pill or the rest of my 90 day supply of high blood pressure medicine, I can hope when they get it back they will use my full address. In any case, I am not going to take anything else, certainly without talking to my doctor (nurse practitioner), and not until I get the high blood pressure squared away or decided against treatment(s) in any case. One thing at a time, and maybe none of it if they push too hard or fast. If I need 5 pills to stay alive, along with their screwy side affects, then I guess I am going to die. Screw that and the horse it rides in on. But I will check my blood sugar.
Oh well. Back to the start. I really thought I could take charge of my medicine, the high blood pressure pills anyway, but it looks like not. It is pounding me into the ground, again. Still, I will take it until the month is over, and see where we can negotiate from there. If nothing else, I should have dental and eye covered by then. I may end up not being interested, at all, in anything else.
My birthday present arrived today. I have produced my first bottle of fizzy water with it. I will have to practice with it though. I did not tighten it enough, so that when I installed the CO2 cartridge, I took a minor shower. I can definitely tighten it tighter, but I tend to break things if I do not use utmost care. I strip things with less than my maximum hand tightening ability, so I try to err on the side of caution. With everything being plastic today, I have to use even more caution. Still, I think I can get this to work right and well in no time.
My first appointment, with the eye doctor, at the V.A. in SLC is tomorrow at 8:30. So, I will need to try and sleep and rest as I can to be ready for the two to three hour drive (and start a little earlier still, as there may be traffic jams on the way). Since it is the eye clinic, I can have breakfast if I get there too early. I bet they are going to dilate too, which will mean I really need to take sun glasses, and probably wait there an hour or two after the procedure. I truly hate that test. But I know they need it.
Good day.
Monday, August 24, 2009
A potentially good start.
.
.
I was able to sleep when I went to bed last night. It was a good sleep too, if it felt short. I think I got enough sleep if it feels a bit tight. I was in the process of arm wrestling my alarm clock's snooze button, again, again, again, when my Mom called. She was on the side of the alarm clock. Splitter! (from Monty Python's "Life of Brian", in case you are curious where my mind is) It was good to hear from her. She is still not sure if she will be going to Texas. It depends on if my brother's wife gets a job there. She is so sure (hopeful?) that she will be getting the job that she is packing. I do not share her confidence. It sounds like she is desperate. I somehow suspect her spending and their house costs have sent them so far into the red they have only hope. Still, I pray for them, that it be God's will though. Sometimes people have to fall before they can stand properly. I know that part, and it is hard, so I pray.
I finally heard back from one of my friends through email. He was indeed on vacation but they did not have time to stop while out here. He got some fishing in, fly fishing actually, and it sounds like he did well. He has finished his work at college, too, so the vacation was probably a great boon and a reward at once. He may start applying for work this fall. Hopefully they will get a spot here in Logan, barring that perhaps somewhere in Utah. If not here, hopefully he will get a job. With colleges cutting back, this is a tough time for seeking an academic position. He is one academic, among several I know, who I respect. His work really has merit, the subject of his work is of interest to me and is relevant to me and other Americans at least, and he is quite good at it. Plus, he is a good moral man with a strong family and a solid Christian faith, plus he hunts and fishes. So I pray for them.
Fine, I pray for all academics, as I do for other elites. I pray that, even if they are apart from God, that they will do His will and come to know and accept Him and His Word and word. I pray for the president and current administration, the house, the senate, and the Supreme Court. Christ did not come for those who knew but for those who did not know or understand. For one of the lost to be saved is a great thing, greater than anything we can know. So, I pray. Though, in truth, I have no worries about God's will being done. It will be and is being done, if His will was that Christ be turned over, scourged, and executed too. I guess I pray that people get in line with His will rather than just be dark pawns of it, doing it reluctantly or meaning to be against it in spite of the impossibility of that.
Lots of things to do today. A shower and shave would be a good start. I might also need to see about a hair cut. When my hair gets (comparatively) long, it become difficult to keep neat and takes much more shampoo to clean. Like it or not, in spite of our faith and charity and spirituality and such, we still live in gnarly bodies. We have oil, sweat, salt, and then collect dirt the more so for that. It gives us something to think about, and in more ways then one. One might say that our body is our first obligation and subject we must tend. And, so I will. It is nice, here, to finally be able to tend the different grooming needs, and well, again and finally.
Rain continues, as they said it would, and it is nice and cool today. I have few excuses for not getting things done. Still, I am dragging low and moving slowly. I have had a cup of coffee and will probably have the remnants of the French press shortly. I have weakened the coffee, making it more like normal strength, rather than the strength my lady friend like it. Otherwise it was giving me the jitters. I hope this helps. I am not sure, actually, that I like coffee. But it does move the my internals to satisfying ends (pun intended) and it does step up the metabolism. It does have it's uses.
Well, I think I will tinker in order that I might wake a bit better. Then a shower and such and then I am off.
Have a great day!
.
I was able to sleep when I went to bed last night. It was a good sleep too, if it felt short. I think I got enough sleep if it feels a bit tight. I was in the process of arm wrestling my alarm clock's snooze button, again, again, again, when my Mom called. She was on the side of the alarm clock. Splitter! (from Monty Python's "Life of Brian", in case you are curious where my mind is) It was good to hear from her. She is still not sure if she will be going to Texas. It depends on if my brother's wife gets a job there. She is so sure (hopeful?) that she will be getting the job that she is packing. I do not share her confidence. It sounds like she is desperate. I somehow suspect her spending and their house costs have sent them so far into the red they have only hope. Still, I pray for them, that it be God's will though. Sometimes people have to fall before they can stand properly. I know that part, and it is hard, so I pray.
I finally heard back from one of my friends through email. He was indeed on vacation but they did not have time to stop while out here. He got some fishing in, fly fishing actually, and it sounds like he did well. He has finished his work at college, too, so the vacation was probably a great boon and a reward at once. He may start applying for work this fall. Hopefully they will get a spot here in Logan, barring that perhaps somewhere in Utah. If not here, hopefully he will get a job. With colleges cutting back, this is a tough time for seeking an academic position. He is one academic, among several I know, who I respect. His work really has merit, the subject of his work is of interest to me and is relevant to me and other Americans at least, and he is quite good at it. Plus, he is a good moral man with a strong family and a solid Christian faith, plus he hunts and fishes. So I pray for them.
Fine, I pray for all academics, as I do for other elites. I pray that, even if they are apart from God, that they will do His will and come to know and accept Him and His Word and word. I pray for the president and current administration, the house, the senate, and the Supreme Court. Christ did not come for those who knew but for those who did not know or understand. For one of the lost to be saved is a great thing, greater than anything we can know. So, I pray. Though, in truth, I have no worries about God's will being done. It will be and is being done, if His will was that Christ be turned over, scourged, and executed too. I guess I pray that people get in line with His will rather than just be dark pawns of it, doing it reluctantly or meaning to be against it in spite of the impossibility of that.
Lots of things to do today. A shower and shave would be a good start. I might also need to see about a hair cut. When my hair gets (comparatively) long, it become difficult to keep neat and takes much more shampoo to clean. Like it or not, in spite of our faith and charity and spirituality and such, we still live in gnarly bodies. We have oil, sweat, salt, and then collect dirt the more so for that. It gives us something to think about, and in more ways then one. One might say that our body is our first obligation and subject we must tend. And, so I will. It is nice, here, to finally be able to tend the different grooming needs, and well, again and finally.
Rain continues, as they said it would, and it is nice and cool today. I have few excuses for not getting things done. Still, I am dragging low and moving slowly. I have had a cup of coffee and will probably have the remnants of the French press shortly. I have weakened the coffee, making it more like normal strength, rather than the strength my lady friend like it. Otherwise it was giving me the jitters. I hope this helps. I am not sure, actually, that I like coffee. But it does move the my internals to satisfying ends (pun intended) and it does step up the metabolism. It does have it's uses.
Well, I think I will tinker in order that I might wake a bit better. Then a shower and such and then I am off.
Have a great day!
John was the former, Jesus the latter, according to some.
.
.
I am reminded, or simply remember, as I am reading the bible where Christ mentions that when John came to them, he ate little and drank nothing strong, so they accused him of being possessed, and when Christ came to them eating and drinking, they accused him of being a glutton and drunkard. Now, when I hear people say that drinking is a sin, especially Christians, I have news for them, the Good News, the Word, or our Lord, however you wish to put it, was both sin free and He drank. Yes, I have had a beer, but that is not the point.
I have heard that hereabouts if it becomes known that one drinks, one might well be classified as a drunkard. And, in some cases, I think that may be true. Those who drink publicly here, do so against the social normals. And if they are willing to do so, they are very possibly out of control, if they come from here. Though, that may not be absolutely true, it has potential to be true. For those of us not of this area and culture, this may not be so true. As with many of the Christian belief systems, there is something against drink which I simply do not understand.
Further, Christ indicated that it is not what one consumes that makes one profane, but what one says. And, coming from the Jewish traditions (and if we still held to those) wine was not considered profane at all. As with anything, abuse or over use were and are considered minor sins, and it is believed they could lead to greater sins. As they said, they certainly knew and used terms such as drunkard and glutton.
Now, I have noticed that a drink or beer goes a long way hereabouts. Whether it is the heat, the lack of humidity, the altitude, some other factors, or a mix of any or all of that I cannot be sure. Three beers does me quite well, a shot of (or better, shot in a tumbler and on the rocks with cleaned water) of my keg strength good scotch will punch my ticket. And so I drink slowly and enjoy those fruits carefully. And, if it is considered in poor taste to drink here, then I will consume my alcohol more privately. Beyond being less expensive, drinking at home and alone or in small company is both less expensive and less risky in many ways.
I should add this though. Even if I do not agree with any ecumenical causation for ending the entertainment of my chosen libations, I will not say that for many, drinking might wisely be forsworn. For many, there is no self control with some things. And, these nectar can lead to worse things, both in actions and in other consumables. I would guess 70% of people may use these to enrich there lives, add a little excitement and pleasure, and be free of any excesses or destruction. But that leaves 30% who will lose their lives, parts of their lives, their freedoms in more ways than one, and totally wipe out on the stuff. So, if I were a gambling man at all, I would think it wise if never tried to never try. But I am not among those so I will continue, if with caution.
Tomorrow must be a busy day. I will try to rise earlier and get going, but I can make no promises here. I can only put my best foot forward when I am awake to do so, if I may too attempt to wake that foot early enough to do some day long works. I would reward myself should I do well, but this will have to be pro bono, for I am a poor lad, guy, old guy, whatever. Still, when I cannot reward (or bribe), a smile and congratulations along with the knowledge that I have done well has happily sufficed in the past. It even works for other people if they know you have nothing else to offer.
Off to bed, I do believe. If I can sleep now, I have a better chance at rising and doing my good deeds. This blog is excellent, sometimes. I forget what all is on my list frequently. If too, I have to slow down, turn on the machine, look around till I find it, then head out the door. How easy it is to forget one thing on even a minor list. So, here is my list again. I need to go grocery shopping, get fingerprinted, find out where I can post this apartment contract, call the VA and check on medicines and appointments, and do some more target practice with the .22 rifle.
I could also, if I have time and energy (and I might since it should be cool), take some things from here to the storage unit and bring a few things from the storage unit back to here (many more things to there than from there). Cleaning up the place, a bit, and doing some vacuuming now that it is working, might not be a bad plan either.
Well, do not look at me like that. It could happen. No, no really. :P *pftffft*
Good night, D.C. and Mrs. D.C.
.
I am reminded, or simply remember, as I am reading the bible where Christ mentions that when John came to them, he ate little and drank nothing strong, so they accused him of being possessed, and when Christ came to them eating and drinking, they accused him of being a glutton and drunkard. Now, when I hear people say that drinking is a sin, especially Christians, I have news for them, the Good News, the Word, or our Lord, however you wish to put it, was both sin free and He drank. Yes, I have had a beer, but that is not the point.
I have heard that hereabouts if it becomes known that one drinks, one might well be classified as a drunkard. And, in some cases, I think that may be true. Those who drink publicly here, do so against the social normals. And if they are willing to do so, they are very possibly out of control, if they come from here. Though, that may not be absolutely true, it has potential to be true. For those of us not of this area and culture, this may not be so true. As with many of the Christian belief systems, there is something against drink which I simply do not understand.
Further, Christ indicated that it is not what one consumes that makes one profane, but what one says. And, coming from the Jewish traditions (and if we still held to those) wine was not considered profane at all. As with anything, abuse or over use were and are considered minor sins, and it is believed they could lead to greater sins. As they said, they certainly knew and used terms such as drunkard and glutton.
Now, I have noticed that a drink or beer goes a long way hereabouts. Whether it is the heat, the lack of humidity, the altitude, some other factors, or a mix of any or all of that I cannot be sure. Three beers does me quite well, a shot of (or better, shot in a tumbler and on the rocks with cleaned water) of my keg strength good scotch will punch my ticket. And so I drink slowly and enjoy those fruits carefully. And, if it is considered in poor taste to drink here, then I will consume my alcohol more privately. Beyond being less expensive, drinking at home and alone or in small company is both less expensive and less risky in many ways.
I should add this though. Even if I do not agree with any ecumenical causation for ending the entertainment of my chosen libations, I will not say that for many, drinking might wisely be forsworn. For many, there is no self control with some things. And, these nectar can lead to worse things, both in actions and in other consumables. I would guess 70% of people may use these to enrich there lives, add a little excitement and pleasure, and be free of any excesses or destruction. But that leaves 30% who will lose their lives, parts of their lives, their freedoms in more ways than one, and totally wipe out on the stuff. So, if I were a gambling man at all, I would think it wise if never tried to never try. But I am not among those so I will continue, if with caution.
Tomorrow must be a busy day. I will try to rise earlier and get going, but I can make no promises here. I can only put my best foot forward when I am awake to do so, if I may too attempt to wake that foot early enough to do some day long works. I would reward myself should I do well, but this will have to be pro bono, for I am a poor lad, guy, old guy, whatever. Still, when I cannot reward (or bribe), a smile and congratulations along with the knowledge that I have done well has happily sufficed in the past. It even works for other people if they know you have nothing else to offer.
Off to bed, I do believe. If I can sleep now, I have a better chance at rising and doing my good deeds. This blog is excellent, sometimes. I forget what all is on my list frequently. If too, I have to slow down, turn on the machine, look around till I find it, then head out the door. How easy it is to forget one thing on even a minor list. So, here is my list again. I need to go grocery shopping, get fingerprinted, find out where I can post this apartment contract, call the VA and check on medicines and appointments, and do some more target practice with the .22 rifle.
I could also, if I have time and energy (and I might since it should be cool), take some things from here to the storage unit and bring a few things from the storage unit back to here (many more things to there than from there). Cleaning up the place, a bit, and doing some vacuuming now that it is working, might not be a bad plan either.
Well, do not look at me like that. It could happen. No, no really. :P *pftffft*
Good night, D.C. and Mrs. D.C.
Sunday, August 23, 2009
This that and something else.
.
.
I did not get to sleep until late (early). So I did not rise early, or at least not today. The world, here, has cooled. Unlike before where when they said it would rain and we would get 30 seconds of something akin to heavy (if cool) humidity droplets, we really got rain today, and pretty much off and on all day. It was great. It was not freezing cold either, as I had suspected it might be. It caught us, several times, while we were out shooting, though it rained several times before we left and has rained again since. That should shackle the dust for a bit and it just feels good on a number of levels. It is rain like this that makes me want to find a girl friend just to kiss her in the rain. The freshness of both seem to dance with the winds of mind, body, world, and all and quicken a soul back to the dew of youth. Kiss kiss...
Back to it. I am having little more luck getting the Henry on target than I did getting the other rifle on target. I am not sure what the problem is, exactly. I can, with some practice an such, get the rifle to hit about a 1 1/2" or less area, but I cannot get that area painted onto the bullseye. I aim with the front sight level with the rabbit-eared back sight, I try to put the front sight down and center in the rabbit-ear rear sight pocket, I do both of those free hand and using a sand bag, and... same thing, same area. I have tried to move the sights higher and lower, no go there either. And whether I aim a bit to the left or on target, I get the same. But, at 40 yards and more, I can hit remnants of shooting clays no bigger than a 50 cent piece or smaller every time I aim at them. *sigh* My neighbor suggested I get rid of the targets. Very funny. Plus, that is what I have to hit to qualify. Well, I suppose I will keep going out and practicing. I did note that, both from practicing and with the cooler temps, I am having far less trouble simply holding the rifle. Whether I need to or not, I would like to keep up practice after the practicum.
My neighbor did decide to shoot my pistol while I was busy. He used the faster rounds so he had to aim low. The pistol is simply not sighted in for high velocity rounds. Though it is still spot on side to side, how much front sight is in the picture depends upon distance, it becomes more art than science. I think he likes the thing. He was able to hit targets about the size of a playing card, laying on the ground though so with only a slim target to hit. His right eye cannot focus rightly, but his left eye works just fine. No recoil, either, with that pistol.
I have broken down and cleaned the pistol already. It is fast when you get it down and have all the tools on hand. It was not very dirty. The only reason it was so dirty before was that it had about 1,000 or more rounds through it since the last time it had been fully broken down. I have not cleaned the Henry, but I took a bore snake and cleaned it half way through my shooting. It neither helped nor hurt my target acquisition.
I had thought to stop at a fast food place, but decided since it is cool that I would bake a few pot pies. Chicken and beef tonight, plus a glass of milk. Humble and light fare, but it does just fine. I still need to go to the store, but like most bachelors (at least, perhaps single women do this too) I am stalling about a visit to the store. My neighbor said he will wait until Monday, so I suppose I will too. It is almost Monday anyway.
The medicine has become a normal thing. I think I still get, bodily, cranky from it from time to time, but only just slightly. No headaches occur now. I only take Tylenol once in a while if the cranky neck or shoulder last too long, but then only in a preventative manner in case that might go on to become painful or interrupt sleep. I do get fevers from time to time, but they are little things that usually pass rather quickly. I would think it is more akin to minor hot flashes than to even minor but fuller blown fevers. The rest of my medicine has still not arrived. Though I did find, in the mail room for the apartments, a note from the post office indicating that a package was sent to me but without an apartment number. I only saw it yesterday but it was dated the 14th of August (4 days after my doctor visit). The note had not been up until recently though. So I will call Monday and check on that. It was either that or an early birthday present that I did not receive.
Tomorrow I have to get busy on a number of things. I need to get the fingerprint work done, I need to go to the store, I have to find out where I can post this apartment lease, and I should check to make sure I have my appointments with the VA correct and about the medicine. I also need to get the rifle out and shoot some more. I think I will bring the target to half the distance and see if I can get some handle on what is going on with my shots. I have to get that down.. I am not sure if I would have to repay and do everything over again or if I would simply have to shoot again, but I do not want to find out. I am beginning to feel like a fool.
I should go watch those course videos again and take the notes I wanted.
Good night.
.
I did not get to sleep until late (early). So I did not rise early, or at least not today. The world, here, has cooled. Unlike before where when they said it would rain and we would get 30 seconds of something akin to heavy (if cool) humidity droplets, we really got rain today, and pretty much off and on all day. It was great. It was not freezing cold either, as I had suspected it might be. It caught us, several times, while we were out shooting, though it rained several times before we left and has rained again since. That should shackle the dust for a bit and it just feels good on a number of levels. It is rain like this that makes me want to find a girl friend just to kiss her in the rain. The freshness of both seem to dance with the winds of mind, body, world, and all and quicken a soul back to the dew of youth. Kiss kiss...
Back to it. I am having little more luck getting the Henry on target than I did getting the other rifle on target. I am not sure what the problem is, exactly. I can, with some practice an such, get the rifle to hit about a 1 1/2" or less area, but I cannot get that area painted onto the bullseye. I aim with the front sight level with the rabbit-eared back sight, I try to put the front sight down and center in the rabbit-ear rear sight pocket, I do both of those free hand and using a sand bag, and... same thing, same area. I have tried to move the sights higher and lower, no go there either. And whether I aim a bit to the left or on target, I get the same. But, at 40 yards and more, I can hit remnants of shooting clays no bigger than a 50 cent piece or smaller every time I aim at them. *sigh* My neighbor suggested I get rid of the targets. Very funny. Plus, that is what I have to hit to qualify. Well, I suppose I will keep going out and practicing. I did note that, both from practicing and with the cooler temps, I am having far less trouble simply holding the rifle. Whether I need to or not, I would like to keep up practice after the practicum.
My neighbor did decide to shoot my pistol while I was busy. He used the faster rounds so he had to aim low. The pistol is simply not sighted in for high velocity rounds. Though it is still spot on side to side, how much front sight is in the picture depends upon distance, it becomes more art than science. I think he likes the thing. He was able to hit targets about the size of a playing card, laying on the ground though so with only a slim target to hit. His right eye cannot focus rightly, but his left eye works just fine. No recoil, either, with that pistol.
I have broken down and cleaned the pistol already. It is fast when you get it down and have all the tools on hand. It was not very dirty. The only reason it was so dirty before was that it had about 1,000 or more rounds through it since the last time it had been fully broken down. I have not cleaned the Henry, but I took a bore snake and cleaned it half way through my shooting. It neither helped nor hurt my target acquisition.
I had thought to stop at a fast food place, but decided since it is cool that I would bake a few pot pies. Chicken and beef tonight, plus a glass of milk. Humble and light fare, but it does just fine. I still need to go to the store, but like most bachelors (at least, perhaps single women do this too) I am stalling about a visit to the store. My neighbor said he will wait until Monday, so I suppose I will too. It is almost Monday anyway.
The medicine has become a normal thing. I think I still get, bodily, cranky from it from time to time, but only just slightly. No headaches occur now. I only take Tylenol once in a while if the cranky neck or shoulder last too long, but then only in a preventative manner in case that might go on to become painful or interrupt sleep. I do get fevers from time to time, but they are little things that usually pass rather quickly. I would think it is more akin to minor hot flashes than to even minor but fuller blown fevers. The rest of my medicine has still not arrived. Though I did find, in the mail room for the apartments, a note from the post office indicating that a package was sent to me but without an apartment number. I only saw it yesterday but it was dated the 14th of August (4 days after my doctor visit). The note had not been up until recently though. So I will call Monday and check on that. It was either that or an early birthday present that I did not receive.
Tomorrow I have to get busy on a number of things. I need to get the fingerprint work done, I need to go to the store, I have to find out where I can post this apartment lease, and I should check to make sure I have my appointments with the VA correct and about the medicine. I also need to get the rifle out and shoot some more. I think I will bring the target to half the distance and see if I can get some handle on what is going on with my shots. I have to get that down.. I am not sure if I would have to repay and do everything over again or if I would simply have to shoot again, but I do not want to find out. I am beginning to feel like a fool.
I should go watch those course videos again and take the notes I wanted.
Good night.
Saturday, August 22, 2009
Matthew, Mark, Luke, John, and Fedora.
.
.
I have been making good progress reading the bible. Those four books have been read. Sometimes at a slower pace, sometimes a little faster, but always with an open heart and as open of a mind as is possible. Not that I lack faith, sometimes the mind simply will not stay active while reading. I am well into the next book too.
I finally downloaded Linux, Fedora is what I decided, due to it's stability and a few other things. I have heard it is rather stable, can be used as a server, and more. I downloaded the live CD version, though I can either choose to put it on CD or DVD, or more, I can choose either of those versions. The DVD version will have a wider variety of options and extras from what I can tell. So, I will probably go with the DVD version, when I finally get around to that and if it works on my machine and then I can figure out how to install and configure it.
I did take a shower, which I needed well and truly. Though the fevers have passed, the heat remains if it is an external thing. I also went out. I did not go shopping as I had thought I might, but went instead to a fast food place. I know, I know, with money running out I should not be tossing it away like that. Though, really, I do not think it costs much more for a meal there than if I make it myself, especially per calorie. Though I could do a lot more of a healthy meal with that same amount of coin and cooking. But, with the heat already a problem, cooking does not sound exciting.
Even with the air on, I can only get it to about 80 F here in the cave. I am back to the beginning, again, again. But I am getting better at getting better. *grins* I have much to do and really need to get started with it. I might be able to research some of it this weekend, but much of it will have to wait until Monday. And I would like to work on the notes from the online physics course as well as get some target practice in tomorrow. I am not sure when I will be able to sleep at this temperature, though I suspect that will not happen until the early morning.
I have decided to take the a/c back. From what I have heard from another who installed one, it does not help that much. Simply put, the design of this place and the weather conditions here combine to offer underwhelming cooling from many devices. And, with tightening finances, a few degrees is not worth the money spent. Plus, I am becoming more comfortable with the temps, if I might still have sleeping difficulties.
Yes, I need to begin packing up and moving many things back to the storage unit. I have a few things to take from the unit and bring to the cave as well. I would like to begin this tomorrow, or sometime in the next days since it will be cool. I will have to remember to bring the dolly back to the cave, as it will make moving the weights a lot easier, and I have promised my neighbor I will help him remove his old T.V. from his apartment. He thinks a dolly will make that much easier. So...
Those lists of things to be done, appointments, and ongoing works sure adds up at times. I have to wonder how people are able to keep up with work, family, play, and business. The people who have real lives that is. And though I am getting there, I cannot be sure I will ever quite be there. So much to do, so little time, choices dependent on time, money, and energy, it amazes me looking at it all from the fringes where I now stand. But, too, as I move closer to the target, I realize the swirls, ebb, and flow begin to create a hypnotic motion which draws one farther and farther into the middle and allows a bit of auto-pilot and smooths out as one goes, if it does not make one nauseated. Some can go in, some cannot, and others of us are just finding out. It is a rat race, but a rewarding one if one can stomach it.
Hmm, a late night snack, a little tinkering, and then I am going to try to sleep. Later, or more hopefully...
Goodnight, Jean. *grins*
.
I have been making good progress reading the bible. Those four books have been read. Sometimes at a slower pace, sometimes a little faster, but always with an open heart and as open of a mind as is possible. Not that I lack faith, sometimes the mind simply will not stay active while reading. I am well into the next book too.
I finally downloaded Linux, Fedora is what I decided, due to it's stability and a few other things. I have heard it is rather stable, can be used as a server, and more. I downloaded the live CD version, though I can either choose to put it on CD or DVD, or more, I can choose either of those versions. The DVD version will have a wider variety of options and extras from what I can tell. So, I will probably go with the DVD version, when I finally get around to that and if it works on my machine and then I can figure out how to install and configure it.
I did take a shower, which I needed well and truly. Though the fevers have passed, the heat remains if it is an external thing. I also went out. I did not go shopping as I had thought I might, but went instead to a fast food place. I know, I know, with money running out I should not be tossing it away like that. Though, really, I do not think it costs much more for a meal there than if I make it myself, especially per calorie. Though I could do a lot more of a healthy meal with that same amount of coin and cooking. But, with the heat already a problem, cooking does not sound exciting.
Even with the air on, I can only get it to about 80 F here in the cave. I am back to the beginning, again, again. But I am getting better at getting better. *grins* I have much to do and really need to get started with it. I might be able to research some of it this weekend, but much of it will have to wait until Monday. And I would like to work on the notes from the online physics course as well as get some target practice in tomorrow. I am not sure when I will be able to sleep at this temperature, though I suspect that will not happen until the early morning.
I have decided to take the a/c back. From what I have heard from another who installed one, it does not help that much. Simply put, the design of this place and the weather conditions here combine to offer underwhelming cooling from many devices. And, with tightening finances, a few degrees is not worth the money spent. Plus, I am becoming more comfortable with the temps, if I might still have sleeping difficulties.
Yes, I need to begin packing up and moving many things back to the storage unit. I have a few things to take from the unit and bring to the cave as well. I would like to begin this tomorrow, or sometime in the next days since it will be cool. I will have to remember to bring the dolly back to the cave, as it will make moving the weights a lot easier, and I have promised my neighbor I will help him remove his old T.V. from his apartment. He thinks a dolly will make that much easier. So...
Those lists of things to be done, appointments, and ongoing works sure adds up at times. I have to wonder how people are able to keep up with work, family, play, and business. The people who have real lives that is. And though I am getting there, I cannot be sure I will ever quite be there. So much to do, so little time, choices dependent on time, money, and energy, it amazes me looking at it all from the fringes where I now stand. But, too, as I move closer to the target, I realize the swirls, ebb, and flow begin to create a hypnotic motion which draws one farther and farther into the middle and allows a bit of auto-pilot and smooths out as one goes, if it does not make one nauseated. Some can go in, some cannot, and others of us are just finding out. It is a rat race, but a rewarding one if one can stomach it.
Hmm, a late night snack, a little tinkering, and then I am going to try to sleep. Later, or more hopefully...
Goodnight, Jean. *grins*
Checking email.
.
.
I decided to check my email and saw 5 emails! Woot. Then it dawned on me, this could all be bad news. Is there any outstanding bill, did I mess up somewhere and forget something, what? Nope, all good. As the plains Indians used to say, the email is coming the email is coming! Or was that buffalo? I always forget. That is the most email I have had in a while. And, you know I rarely comment back or write much when I do, so responding only took an hour. ha
Not much going on today. The cave is hot. I have not been able to lower it below Very Warm F. But that is okay too. I have not even stepped out my door. I should shower, shave, and go shopping. I have not been sleeping overly much, but my days and nights are once again confused. I will fix that when I can. I have been reading the bible and am well into John, the first book of it.
There are still many things said which seem to be contradictory, not just to other passages, but to the theme of the bible and what seems to be the will of God and Christ. I learned, now that I think back on it, young that the bible, the will of God, Christ's words, and all are beyond real comprehension. We can understand bits, but some things He says really baffle me. Then again, his disciples, the chosen among those, often were confused, confounded, afraid to ask more, and sometimes Christ took pity on them and them and explained.
Though I also notice that the more I read, the more of the weave of the book comes to understandings of sorts. I think the understanding is often as much of the spirit as it is of the mind or flesh sum total. When confronted or confounded by the world, having read the bible allows the Holy Spirit, should one will that, to fill one and take over or direct one's actions. Our hands, as I have always believed, are not our own. Who controls them for the most part tells where our heart lives. Even our sins may well turn into glory to God in several ways, if in no other way then as testament to God through our bowing to Christ for the forgiveness of those sins.
Some things written, as well, are simply difficult to believe. Healing the blind, lame, and even lepers, turning water to wine, raising the dead, even raising Himself from the dead. I do believe, I understand why these stretch the faith of some new hearers quite thin. Though, honestly, it is often not these things which cause faith to whiter in those who have been taught. More often it is that the path believing would force one to attempt seems steep, narrow, difficult, and sacrificial. Which it is, and is not. Ask a mountain climber how he possibly can do what he does. One way he could put it is, one foot at a time, sometimes one inch at a time, sometimes only a very careful minor lean at a time, and sometimes across a huge span over a great fall in a huge harrowing leap of faith. So goes Christianity.
It has been a good couple of days of rest. Monday, however, will begin a long week of work. I have to get going on getting out of the contract, a VA appointment, fingerprinting, setting up the move, course studies, and shooting practice. I have little money and a lot of month left so I will need to be careful about it all as well. It may be cooler, it is supposed to possibly rain Sunday through Tuesday, which would make it cooler all the way to Wednesday or Thursday. That would help, but either way, I have to do these things.
Hungry! I am surely that. Have a good day.
.
I decided to check my email and saw 5 emails! Woot. Then it dawned on me, this could all be bad news. Is there any outstanding bill, did I mess up somewhere and forget something, what? Nope, all good. As the plains Indians used to say, the email is coming the email is coming! Or was that buffalo? I always forget. That is the most email I have had in a while. And, you know I rarely comment back or write much when I do, so responding only took an hour. ha
Not much going on today. The cave is hot. I have not been able to lower it below Very Warm F. But that is okay too. I have not even stepped out my door. I should shower, shave, and go shopping. I have not been sleeping overly much, but my days and nights are once again confused. I will fix that when I can. I have been reading the bible and am well into John, the first book of it.
There are still many things said which seem to be contradictory, not just to other passages, but to the theme of the bible and what seems to be the will of God and Christ. I learned, now that I think back on it, young that the bible, the will of God, Christ's words, and all are beyond real comprehension. We can understand bits, but some things He says really baffle me. Then again, his disciples, the chosen among those, often were confused, confounded, afraid to ask more, and sometimes Christ took pity on them and them and explained.
Though I also notice that the more I read, the more of the weave of the book comes to understandings of sorts. I think the understanding is often as much of the spirit as it is of the mind or flesh sum total. When confronted or confounded by the world, having read the bible allows the Holy Spirit, should one will that, to fill one and take over or direct one's actions. Our hands, as I have always believed, are not our own. Who controls them for the most part tells where our heart lives. Even our sins may well turn into glory to God in several ways, if in no other way then as testament to God through our bowing to Christ for the forgiveness of those sins.
Some things written, as well, are simply difficult to believe. Healing the blind, lame, and even lepers, turning water to wine, raising the dead, even raising Himself from the dead. I do believe, I understand why these stretch the faith of some new hearers quite thin. Though, honestly, it is often not these things which cause faith to whiter in those who have been taught. More often it is that the path believing would force one to attempt seems steep, narrow, difficult, and sacrificial. Which it is, and is not. Ask a mountain climber how he possibly can do what he does. One way he could put it is, one foot at a time, sometimes one inch at a time, sometimes only a very careful minor lean at a time, and sometimes across a huge span over a great fall in a huge harrowing leap of faith. So goes Christianity.
It has been a good couple of days of rest. Monday, however, will begin a long week of work. I have to get going on getting out of the contract, a VA appointment, fingerprinting, setting up the move, course studies, and shooting practice. I have little money and a lot of month left so I will need to be careful about it all as well. It may be cooler, it is supposed to possibly rain Sunday through Tuesday, which would make it cooler all the way to Wednesday or Thursday. That would help, but either way, I have to do these things.
Hungry! I am surely that. Have a good day.
Attention to detail.
.
.
I finally figured out why I had not been sleeping well at night, or part of it. I had not been looking at the thermometers lately. For a week or so, it was cool enough that simply turning the air conditioner to fan was enough, and sometimes more, to cool the cave comfortably. That has not been the case, it seems, or for a while. When I was initially sickened by the medicine it did not matter. I was burning up when it should have been cool to cold, and besides, I remember little from those fevered days so who knows what was really going on with the temp, a/c, or... anything really. So, I turned on the air conditioner proper just now and I hope to have it cool enough to sleep in an hour.
As I passed through the first three books of the New Testament, I kept running into 'problems'. Some things that did not jive with other things. The contradictions seemed to mount, more so because the first books are very similar tellings of many of the same incidences. I remember having worked most of this out back in my preteen years, and well actually. But I do not remember how I did that. No worries, this did not shake my faith, it just lead me to thought and prayer. And, in time, that has panned out. The subtleties are becoming clarified, the contradictions are not what they seem, and understanding is smoothing out. Still, there is much more to understand, I have many questions, and in time I will revisit many points, with a fuller expectation of spending more time on various parables and writings as literal understandings are not quite possible with what is given, or I note complexity that is slightly hidden, or I am curious about how or why something was phrased as it was.
One example is when Christ suggested that some with Him there would not see death until they saw... the end times, or something like that. I am sleepy, so memory and or word usage fails a bit. I took from that Christ was saying some of those there with Him should still be alive, of flesh, and will remain so until He returns. It is written several different ways in those first three books, but they lean toward what I have written. Oh, and there are many other items of interest and intrigue.
Hmm, I am hungry again. I could not eat much today, it was simply too warm. My stomach goes on strike, if I do attempt to put token amounts of sustenance in the bio-machine anyway. I am getting somewhat low on food and money, and yet have a big ISP bill and a trip to the SLC VA, for which I will just as likely not be directly or immediately (if at all) compensated. Yeah, I know, I am very lucky to be compensated for traveling to a free medical vender at all. Now, too, I use the term free. Free as in, it only cost me my mind. :P Nothing is really free. Meh, I was probably out of my mind anyway. I did, after all, join the N.A.V.Y. (never again volunteer yourself). *grins* But I did like the Navy and am simply disappointed I could not turn it into a career. Beside all the other nuts and kooks, there was a world to see, interesting things to do, and a rank ladder to climb. I would certainly give up the free medical and money to have been able to do that. Even if I am getting, comparatively, a fortune, and have all the free time I want. Yep, I am crazy!
Being a weekend, I cannot do business tomorrow. I should be able to buy some food items though, which will hopefully last the rest of the month. I had best be wearing my thinking cap or I will end up with odds and ends and little in the way of meal settings. Peanut butter without bread, cereal without milk, yeah, I do that from time to time. Often more frequently than can be explained by random dumb luck.
Well, back to it. I just thought I would leave a note to self. Self, turn on the air conditioner by at least 19:00 so by 22:00 or 23:00 you can sleep! Doh! By the way, self, did we not just have this conversation not that long ago? Why, yes we did. Doh!
Good night, Mary Lou. (I know, a repeat, but I like Mary Lou, a lot.) I think I did, or was that Mary Beth, Mary Ann, or... I liked them all, actually, mostly, probably... *sigh*
.
I finally figured out why I had not been sleeping well at night, or part of it. I had not been looking at the thermometers lately. For a week or so, it was cool enough that simply turning the air conditioner to fan was enough, and sometimes more, to cool the cave comfortably. That has not been the case, it seems, or for a while. When I was initially sickened by the medicine it did not matter. I was burning up when it should have been cool to cold, and besides, I remember little from those fevered days so who knows what was really going on with the temp, a/c, or... anything really. So, I turned on the air conditioner proper just now and I hope to have it cool enough to sleep in an hour.
As I passed through the first three books of the New Testament, I kept running into 'problems'. Some things that did not jive with other things. The contradictions seemed to mount, more so because the first books are very similar tellings of many of the same incidences. I remember having worked most of this out back in my preteen years, and well actually. But I do not remember how I did that. No worries, this did not shake my faith, it just lead me to thought and prayer. And, in time, that has panned out. The subtleties are becoming clarified, the contradictions are not what they seem, and understanding is smoothing out. Still, there is much more to understand, I have many questions, and in time I will revisit many points, with a fuller expectation of spending more time on various parables and writings as literal understandings are not quite possible with what is given, or I note complexity that is slightly hidden, or I am curious about how or why something was phrased as it was.
One example is when Christ suggested that some with Him there would not see death until they saw... the end times, or something like that. I am sleepy, so memory and or word usage fails a bit. I took from that Christ was saying some of those there with Him should still be alive, of flesh, and will remain so until He returns. It is written several different ways in those first three books, but they lean toward what I have written. Oh, and there are many other items of interest and intrigue.
Hmm, I am hungry again. I could not eat much today, it was simply too warm. My stomach goes on strike, if I do attempt to put token amounts of sustenance in the bio-machine anyway. I am getting somewhat low on food and money, and yet have a big ISP bill and a trip to the SLC VA, for which I will just as likely not be directly or immediately (if at all) compensated. Yeah, I know, I am very lucky to be compensated for traveling to a free medical vender at all. Now, too, I use the term free. Free as in, it only cost me my mind. :P Nothing is really free. Meh, I was probably out of my mind anyway. I did, after all, join the N.A.V.Y. (never again volunteer yourself). *grins* But I did like the Navy and am simply disappointed I could not turn it into a career. Beside all the other nuts and kooks, there was a world to see, interesting things to do, and a rank ladder to climb. I would certainly give up the free medical and money to have been able to do that. Even if I am getting, comparatively, a fortune, and have all the free time I want. Yep, I am crazy!
Being a weekend, I cannot do business tomorrow. I should be able to buy some food items though, which will hopefully last the rest of the month. I had best be wearing my thinking cap or I will end up with odds and ends and little in the way of meal settings. Peanut butter without bread, cereal without milk, yeah, I do that from time to time. Often more frequently than can be explained by random dumb luck.
Well, back to it. I just thought I would leave a note to self. Self, turn on the air conditioner by at least 19:00 so by 22:00 or 23:00 you can sleep! Doh! By the way, self, did we not just have this conversation not that long ago? Why, yes we did. Doh!
Good night, Mary Lou. (I know, a repeat, but I like Mary Lou, a lot.) I think I did, or was that Mary Beth, Mary Ann, or... I liked them all, actually, mostly, probably... *sigh*
Well...
.
.
Okay, today was a real stay at home snooze-fest. And I enjoyed it. With the temperature climbing well into the 90's F and with my little sleep at night, I should have guessed. Even with light duties planned, even those did not get done. But it was a good day. I enjoyed lounging, not even bothering to get out of my pajamas. Still, I did a few things that had been on my mind and in my lists.
I took the Ruger 22/45 .22 pistol apart, completely with the help of the rubber mallet, and cleaned parts of it again and cleaned the parts I could not get to heretofore. I cleaned it all one more time, this time completely. Using cotton (ear) sticks to clean out where nothing else would reach, cleaning it twice, and then oiling it well, I finally reassembled it, oiling as I went, and then I let it cure a bit, action open, before putting it away. There were no problems now that I have the gist of it down.
I then took out the 10/22 .22 rifle and thought to tear it completely down. I decided against it though. With the scope finally nearly aligned for it, I simply did not want to fuss with it. I will, at some point. But I would like to look over instructions on it first, and more thoroughly. I am, as well, not exactly sure how far I can actually break it down. The instructions, as I remember them, indicate one needs to be a gun smith to really break it down. I found that, however, to not be the absolute truth. I added a couple of pieces to it, a extended action release and a extended magazine release, and perhaps something else. It is not that terribly complicated if one can read instructions (before hand), and keep track of the particular parts and connectors. Which, when I am in the right frame of mind, is not difficult.
I also watched the second session of the online physics course. I think this weekend I will watch the two I have seen over again, this time taking notes. There are a few formulas in each session, along with their associated measurements, such as N/m^2, C, and such. Plus there are a few standard constants, such as a particular K value (this one, for example, which goes with Coulomb's Law, not spring coefficients or, the gas constant, among many other k's) and the masses of electrons, protons, and neutrons if those last are considered the same (I think). Anyway... I also went to the root directory of that and found some engineering and other courses I could begin looking at. I have it in my mind to begin spending 3 hours, at a regular time and as early as I can wake up, to try and make those like regular classes as much as possible. The idea is to shower, shave if necessary, eat breakfast, check my mail and email, and be ready at a certain time to begin going to internet school for two to three hours, with little breaks between 'classes'. Perhaps doing other studies in the afternoon. The point is to become regular both daily and time of the day, to do the courses (including homework, quizzes, and tests where possible), and having the learning just be an added bonus. No guarantees there, but that is my goal. After that, filling my time with my favored extracurricular activities and business duties, so making it a much fuller day.
My sleep is still messy, and I have lagged a bit this week, but I am still miles ahead of where I was in Iowa even at my best there. I am even taking my medicine very regularly. I have not, to date, missed a pill, once I started. To the continuation of that end, I will have to check about a med-set. Those things help a good deal. Since I was almost sure I could never take medicines again, I tossed the ones I had. I am pretty close to being broke at the moment, so either I will have to wait a bit or I will have to see if the V.A. will provide one. All I need is one, so that is good. Oh, and even with sleep problems, I am taking the medicine at pretty much the same time every day, in the later night, about what I am targeting as my bed time, if or when things iron out so that I can sleep at that time. Well, give or take two hours or so, usually later if off. Like, right now for example. :p
I also found an organic food store, and one that I approve of, or as much as I approve of any organic food store. The owner of the chain came out *all aghast* against Quota Boy's death (or is it called by them health) plan. And, he is receiving flak for it. It also happens to be right near the V.A. The instructions suggest I do a u-turn to get to them, but since the V.A. is in the same direction but farther along, stopping at the V.A. will take care of my u-turn. How cool is that. I did not realize that until I was looking at Mapquest and noticed a great similarity and looked much closer. I will stop in after seeing the eye clinic this week. I doubt if I will buy anything, I am close to broke. But I am curious. Oh, and it will make getting food fit for the QoD (Queen of Darkness, in case you forgot) easier, when she visits. Yes, I spoil.
Well, back to doing nothing for a bit. Either that or I will read the bible more or begin watching the courses again to take notes. Bah, it is late, dinkering on the machine will do.
Good night, Mary Lou!
.
Okay, today was a real stay at home snooze-fest. And I enjoyed it. With the temperature climbing well into the 90's F and with my little sleep at night, I should have guessed. Even with light duties planned, even those did not get done. But it was a good day. I enjoyed lounging, not even bothering to get out of my pajamas. Still, I did a few things that had been on my mind and in my lists.
I took the Ruger 22/45 .22 pistol apart, completely with the help of the rubber mallet, and cleaned parts of it again and cleaned the parts I could not get to heretofore. I cleaned it all one more time, this time completely. Using cotton (ear) sticks to clean out where nothing else would reach, cleaning it twice, and then oiling it well, I finally reassembled it, oiling as I went, and then I let it cure a bit, action open, before putting it away. There were no problems now that I have the gist of it down.
I then took out the 10/22 .22 rifle and thought to tear it completely down. I decided against it though. With the scope finally nearly aligned for it, I simply did not want to fuss with it. I will, at some point. But I would like to look over instructions on it first, and more thoroughly. I am, as well, not exactly sure how far I can actually break it down. The instructions, as I remember them, indicate one needs to be a gun smith to really break it down. I found that, however, to not be the absolute truth. I added a couple of pieces to it, a extended action release and a extended magazine release, and perhaps something else. It is not that terribly complicated if one can read instructions (before hand), and keep track of the particular parts and connectors. Which, when I am in the right frame of mind, is not difficult.
I also watched the second session of the online physics course. I think this weekend I will watch the two I have seen over again, this time taking notes. There are a few formulas in each session, along with their associated measurements, such as N/m^2, C, and such. Plus there are a few standard constants, such as a particular K value (this one, for example, which goes with Coulomb's Law, not spring coefficients or, the gas constant, among many other k's) and the masses of electrons, protons, and neutrons if those last are considered the same (I think). Anyway... I also went to the root directory of that and found some engineering and other courses I could begin looking at. I have it in my mind to begin spending 3 hours, at a regular time and as early as I can wake up, to try and make those like regular classes as much as possible. The idea is to shower, shave if necessary, eat breakfast, check my mail and email, and be ready at a certain time to begin going to internet school for two to three hours, with little breaks between 'classes'. Perhaps doing other studies in the afternoon. The point is to become regular both daily and time of the day, to do the courses (including homework, quizzes, and tests where possible), and having the learning just be an added bonus. No guarantees there, but that is my goal. After that, filling my time with my favored extracurricular activities and business duties, so making it a much fuller day.
My sleep is still messy, and I have lagged a bit this week, but I am still miles ahead of where I was in Iowa even at my best there. I am even taking my medicine very regularly. I have not, to date, missed a pill, once I started. To the continuation of that end, I will have to check about a med-set. Those things help a good deal. Since I was almost sure I could never take medicines again, I tossed the ones I had. I am pretty close to being broke at the moment, so either I will have to wait a bit or I will have to see if the V.A. will provide one. All I need is one, so that is good. Oh, and even with sleep problems, I am taking the medicine at pretty much the same time every day, in the later night, about what I am targeting as my bed time, if or when things iron out so that I can sleep at that time. Well, give or take two hours or so, usually later if off. Like, right now for example. :p
I also found an organic food store, and one that I approve of, or as much as I approve of any organic food store. The owner of the chain came out *all aghast* against Quota Boy's death (or is it called by them health) plan. And, he is receiving flak for it. It also happens to be right near the V.A. The instructions suggest I do a u-turn to get to them, but since the V.A. is in the same direction but farther along, stopping at the V.A. will take care of my u-turn. How cool is that. I did not realize that until I was looking at Mapquest and noticed a great similarity and looked much closer. I will stop in after seeing the eye clinic this week. I doubt if I will buy anything, I am close to broke. But I am curious. Oh, and it will make getting food fit for the QoD (Queen of Darkness, in case you forgot) easier, when she visits. Yes, I spoil.
Well, back to doing nothing for a bit. Either that or I will read the bible more or begin watching the courses again to take notes. Bah, it is late, dinkering on the machine will do.
Good night, Mary Lou!
Friday, August 21, 2009
No sleep, no problem?
.
.
I could not get to sleep, again, until early morning. When I am not being plagued by one thing, it seems another replaces it. Ha! Still, I was able to wake this morning and relatively early. I woke at 9:00 and almost made it out of bed. Then my Mom called and thanked me for the card and the money. I think I heard a bit of the remnants of tears. The mixer I bought her several years ago had quit working (she works the devil out of all her gear!). So, she is going to buy a new one with the money and probably have enough left for a nice lunch. I offered to send her my fancy one, so she could keep the money, but she likes things simple. She is in the middle of canning and the processor just died so the money came at just the right time. Oh, and I was right, she had not read the back of the card. I will lay odds at 100 to 1 that she read the front, read the inside, saw the money, and that was it because she started to cry. I seem to do that to women, both the good and bad type of tears. *sheepish grins*
After her call at about 9:51 I decided to really get up. I will figure out how to sleep, again, I am sure. I have a few things I wish to accomplish today. I would like to find out where to post my apartment and then start on that, I will get to the police station some time today, and I may go grocery shopping and shooting. It is supposed to reach 100 F today, so how much of that extra gets done, or when, is anybodies guess. I might suggest it depends on the dew point, but then again, 100 F is 100 F and dew point will only affect that to some degree. No pun intended, mostly.
I keep checking for medicine and keep not finding it. I also keep hoping for the seltzer water device. I received the CO2 cartridges for them yesterday and I received an email saying the devices were sent even before the cartridges. That is my birthday gift to self. Carbonated water, that is the ticket. I have wanted one of these for many years. Since I am losing weight, though starting to want more fluids and thus drinking stuff I should not, I thought it would be a nice incentive to get back on track. Stupid little things can mean a big difference.
I did buy those headsets too, as I said I would last night, as well as a few other things. A rubber mallet to help disassemble the Ruger pistol completely, a mouse pad as the table does not work so well, and some punches to further disassemble some of my guns should I want to do so. The punches cost more than the mallet, surprisingly. That should be it, except for food, until the first. Well, that and my internet bill. It will be rather high with start-up, set up, and the wireless plan. I may end up taking the a/c back. Simply put, I have finally acclimated to the heat.
I really have done well getting used to things here. I now find 76 F to be comfortable, even cool at times depending on dew point. And when it drops to 70 F or 72 F, I feel like winter has returned. I only hope I do not lose my taste for the real cold! My need to drink all of the time has diminished as well. I still drink plenty, but nothing like the first month. I bet I was drinking more like 2 gallons of water, and another gallon or two of other, per day. Now it is about a gallon of water and a half a gallon of other. I also do not need moisturizer as much anymore. I still use it a few times a week, but more as precaution and general care than as a necessity. And I can handle doing whatever in the outside heat, for the most part. On hot days, like today, if I am active then I do need a lot more inactive time and perhaps a nap.
Reading the bible has been quite good. I am remembering this material well. And, I know, there are tricks to it (like understanding nuance versus seeming contradictory passages) and learning about what they meant altogether in some passages. I am not delving in this time, I am simply refreshing my memory. I will begin finding sources for study as I go. I have a few but need much more.
With the headsets, I went to MIT's internet available course videos. While I could not sleep, I decided to begin studying the course on the physics class I have left to take. I will begin looking at other courses in my line-up and begin doing two or three courses per day. It beats playing stupid games, it gets me used to being focused for several hours, and it covers material I will be seeing soon enough. Either that, or I will do that and add some of my study material. The headset is ten times better than the speakers on this machine, but the sound from the MIT class I am looking at is quite low. I really have to focus to hear, as if sitting in the back, or nearly in the back, of a big class. Even turning every sound producing device in the cave off only helps just a bit. Focus, Cricket. :P
I am off. I will tinker a bit, then figure out what to do and when. A shower, a shave, and a bit of tidying up are on the list before all else. And tinkering before that. Priorities, people, priorities.
Have a great day! (or at least avoid shooting yourself, or someone else, in the foot) Does anyone have fresh tomatoes? I have a hankering for a blt. I might have to see where the local farmers market is and pay them a visit whenever it is that they deign to sell. Oh, and sweet corn! Oh, oh, oh!
.
I could not get to sleep, again, until early morning. When I am not being plagued by one thing, it seems another replaces it. Ha! Still, I was able to wake this morning and relatively early. I woke at 9:00 and almost made it out of bed. Then my Mom called and thanked me for the card and the money. I think I heard a bit of the remnants of tears. The mixer I bought her several years ago had quit working (she works the devil out of all her gear!). So, she is going to buy a new one with the money and probably have enough left for a nice lunch. I offered to send her my fancy one, so she could keep the money, but she likes things simple. She is in the middle of canning and the processor just died so the money came at just the right time. Oh, and I was right, she had not read the back of the card. I will lay odds at 100 to 1 that she read the front, read the inside, saw the money, and that was it because she started to cry. I seem to do that to women, both the good and bad type of tears. *sheepish grins*
After her call at about 9:51 I decided to really get up. I will figure out how to sleep, again, I am sure. I have a few things I wish to accomplish today. I would like to find out where to post my apartment and then start on that, I will get to the police station some time today, and I may go grocery shopping and shooting. It is supposed to reach 100 F today, so how much of that extra gets done, or when, is anybodies guess. I might suggest it depends on the dew point, but then again, 100 F is 100 F and dew point will only affect that to some degree. No pun intended, mostly.
I keep checking for medicine and keep not finding it. I also keep hoping for the seltzer water device. I received the CO2 cartridges for them yesterday and I received an email saying the devices were sent even before the cartridges. That is my birthday gift to self. Carbonated water, that is the ticket. I have wanted one of these for many years. Since I am losing weight, though starting to want more fluids and thus drinking stuff I should not, I thought it would be a nice incentive to get back on track. Stupid little things can mean a big difference.
I did buy those headsets too, as I said I would last night, as well as a few other things. A rubber mallet to help disassemble the Ruger pistol completely, a mouse pad as the table does not work so well, and some punches to further disassemble some of my guns should I want to do so. The punches cost more than the mallet, surprisingly. That should be it, except for food, until the first. Well, that and my internet bill. It will be rather high with start-up, set up, and the wireless plan. I may end up taking the a/c back. Simply put, I have finally acclimated to the heat.
I really have done well getting used to things here. I now find 76 F to be comfortable, even cool at times depending on dew point. And when it drops to 70 F or 72 F, I feel like winter has returned. I only hope I do not lose my taste for the real cold! My need to drink all of the time has diminished as well. I still drink plenty, but nothing like the first month. I bet I was drinking more like 2 gallons of water, and another gallon or two of other, per day. Now it is about a gallon of water and a half a gallon of other. I also do not need moisturizer as much anymore. I still use it a few times a week, but more as precaution and general care than as a necessity. And I can handle doing whatever in the outside heat, for the most part. On hot days, like today, if I am active then I do need a lot more inactive time and perhaps a nap.
Reading the bible has been quite good. I am remembering this material well. And, I know, there are tricks to it (like understanding nuance versus seeming contradictory passages) and learning about what they meant altogether in some passages. I am not delving in this time, I am simply refreshing my memory. I will begin finding sources for study as I go. I have a few but need much more.
With the headsets, I went to MIT's internet available course videos. While I could not sleep, I decided to begin studying the course on the physics class I have left to take. I will begin looking at other courses in my line-up and begin doing two or three courses per day. It beats playing stupid games, it gets me used to being focused for several hours, and it covers material I will be seeing soon enough. Either that, or I will do that and add some of my study material. The headset is ten times better than the speakers on this machine, but the sound from the MIT class I am looking at is quite low. I really have to focus to hear, as if sitting in the back, or nearly in the back, of a big class. Even turning every sound producing device in the cave off only helps just a bit. Focus, Cricket. :P
I am off. I will tinker a bit, then figure out what to do and when. A shower, a shave, and a bit of tidying up are on the list before all else. And tinkering before that. Priorities, people, priorities.
Have a great day! (or at least avoid shooting yourself, or someone else, in the foot) Does anyone have fresh tomatoes? I have a hankering for a blt. I might have to see where the local farmers market is and pay them a visit whenever it is that they deign to sell. Oh, and sweet corn! Oh, oh, oh!
Learning more.
.
.
I found a Youtube video about taking apart a Ruger Mark III. So I thought I would play along. And so I did. Take this and... pull that... lift here... and furthermore... and it is in parts and pieces. Okay, cool. Now too put it back together. This goes... and that fits... here you need too... Wow, that was easy. Hmm, I wonder why the bolt does not slide in. Ah, there we go. Hmm, it does not seem to fire. Aha! Nope. Aha! Nope. Aha! Nope, nope, NOPE! Argh. Okay, one more time... one more time... If I watch the video again... nope, nope, watch it again, nope. Aha! Nope!
Well, maybe I will set it aside and do it later. I cannot. Aha! Nope. Oh, okay. A Ruger Mark III has different instructions than a Ruger Mark III 22/45. That goes... and then... push that out... pull this... Hmm. Click. Doh! I did this the first time too, but I had not broken it down in a long time. Now I know. Yes, learning, relearning, unlearning, it is all there.
Goody, now I can go shoot tomorrow. I will save the good bullets for the rifle, but I will use some of the hyper velocity rounds for the pistol. It seems to eat anything and shoot absolutely right on the money 30 yards and under, if longer ranges and even more accurate at under 30 yards if feeding it standard velocity ammunition. It almost gets boring being so accurate. But I cleaned it darn it, I should get to shoot it. Bah, maybe not. I get pretty worn out shooting 200 rounds in a standing position with the rifle. Then again, I do need to practice sitting and prone which are a lot less tiring. I bought some sand bags for really testing the rifle, or whatever gun. So, yes, I might take the pistol too! Then I can practice breaking it down for cleaning again tomorrow.
I used to think .22 firearms were sissy guns. Then I realized how much shooting (even it now) costs and my wallet told me to shut up. And when I did get these pieces out to the range, I found them to be rather fun and a lot less tiring to shoot (comparing .22 rifles to other rifles and the .22 pistol to other pistols). I am also amazed at how much shooting that .22 rifle, standing, without leaning the rifle on anything, has tightened my arms. Even the left one, which supports the forward stock. I can only imagine if I had the money to free standing shoot .308's. Those guns start at 7 1/2 pounds, and if you had 4 or 5 bullets and a scope and maybe a 24", 26", or even 30" bull barrel, it would be like serious weight lifting. I know, use a shooting stick. Then again, it is a super skill to have, just off-hand firing if accurate and precise.
Oh, and I ought to get to the police station for fingerprinting tomorrow. I just did not feel like doing much today, as I had said I might not. I will run to Wal-Mart for ear buds though tonight. I will take my medicine now, and the Tylenol, so I will be ready for bed when I get back. Oh, something I have started doing when I cannot sleep is reading the bible instead of starting this soul sucking brain deadening machine to play stupid games. It works a bit better, a lot better actually.
Goodnight.
.
I found a Youtube video about taking apart a Ruger Mark III. So I thought I would play along. And so I did. Take this and... pull that... lift here... and furthermore... and it is in parts and pieces. Okay, cool. Now too put it back together. This goes... and that fits... here you need too... Wow, that was easy. Hmm, I wonder why the bolt does not slide in. Ah, there we go. Hmm, it does not seem to fire. Aha! Nope. Aha! Nope. Aha! Nope, nope, NOPE! Argh. Okay, one more time... one more time... If I watch the video again... nope, nope, watch it again, nope. Aha! Nope!
Well, maybe I will set it aside and do it later. I cannot. Aha! Nope. Oh, okay. A Ruger Mark III has different instructions than a Ruger Mark III 22/45. That goes... and then... push that out... pull this... Hmm. Click. Doh! I did this the first time too, but I had not broken it down in a long time. Now I know. Yes, learning, relearning, unlearning, it is all there.
Goody, now I can go shoot tomorrow. I will save the good bullets for the rifle, but I will use some of the hyper velocity rounds for the pistol. It seems to eat anything and shoot absolutely right on the money 30 yards and under, if longer ranges and even more accurate at under 30 yards if feeding it standard velocity ammunition. It almost gets boring being so accurate. But I cleaned it darn it, I should get to shoot it. Bah, maybe not. I get pretty worn out shooting 200 rounds in a standing position with the rifle. Then again, I do need to practice sitting and prone which are a lot less tiring. I bought some sand bags for really testing the rifle, or whatever gun. So, yes, I might take the pistol too! Then I can practice breaking it down for cleaning again tomorrow.
I used to think .22 firearms were sissy guns. Then I realized how much shooting (even it now) costs and my wallet told me to shut up. And when I did get these pieces out to the range, I found them to be rather fun and a lot less tiring to shoot (comparing .22 rifles to other rifles and the .22 pistol to other pistols). I am also amazed at how much shooting that .22 rifle, standing, without leaning the rifle on anything, has tightened my arms. Even the left one, which supports the forward stock. I can only imagine if I had the money to free standing shoot .308's. Those guns start at 7 1/2 pounds, and if you had 4 or 5 bullets and a scope and maybe a 24", 26", or even 30" bull barrel, it would be like serious weight lifting. I know, use a shooting stick. Then again, it is a super skill to have, just off-hand firing if accurate and precise.
Oh, and I ought to get to the police station for fingerprinting tomorrow. I just did not feel like doing much today, as I had said I might not. I will run to Wal-Mart for ear buds though tonight. I will take my medicine now, and the Tylenol, so I will be ready for bed when I get back. Oh, something I have started doing when I cannot sleep is reading the bible instead of starting this soul sucking brain deadening machine to play stupid games. It works a bit better, a lot better actually.
Goodnight.
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Learning.
.
.
Today, so far, has been productive. Besides finally remembering to call my Mom, I called and left a message on my lady friend's answering system. She called back a short while later and we got caught up on each other's doings. More on that in a bit. I saw my neighbor outside but when my conversation was over, he had already gone back into his apartment. I decided to then clean the .22 rifles and pistol, again. But this time I used some stuff my neighbor loaned which he suggested would do very well. And it did. I had intended to just clean the Henry but ended up cleaning the whole of the .22 pistol and the barrel of the target .22 rifle. It takes a little more time than what it might seem. But they are all very clean now, and ready to get dirty again.
My lady friend sounded chipper when I answered her return call. She just returned from the garden, where she feels like Custer. She sounds overwhelmed by it a bit, the weeding, the hoeing, and whatever. I suggested that the garden is as much of a work as it is a reminder that we cannot do it all at once, ever really be ahead, but that there will still be bounty with some reasonable effort. I think she liked hearing that. She started to fade fast while we were talking. Between working nights for pay and mornings for organic food (and pleasure) she does not have much left. I hope she realizes she is in a place and time where if she can she will but if she cannot she should not worry so much about it. Like me, she usually gets to the important things and takes care of business, all in even a more timely fashion than I have been able to up to the move. I hope she tends herself a bit more, but I understand that unintentional self-abuse in simply trying to do everything. She will be going canoeing soon, again. Another waterway cleanup. As messy as it sounds, and I am lead to believe it is worse than it sounds, she loves it. Canoeing, cleaning up the rivers, not having to worry about food, camping each night, the people she meets, and perhaps even just getting muddy so that cleaning herself means more than usual.
Oh, and if I did not mention it, I did get up earlier today. I think it was around 9:30. It is tough to just wake up without some plan of attack or something specific to do. Especially while it is nice and cool and waking up means heating up. Still, that is my goal. Yesterday I woke early, if only because the primers had come in (the buffalo!). But today was an active, and somewhat difficult, choice.
I am a little annoyed at not having heard from several friends I have emailed. I wonder if they are busy, gone, or just not sure what to write back. Both of them are in the throws of academic higher education. One of them might or might not be on vacation and has family and church obligations. The other, I simply do not know what is going on with him. Well, it does give me something minor to grump about. And I will forgive them, right after I wring their necks. :P
I may go to the police station and get the fingerprints done, if I can get it in gear. But if I do that, I will first go to Wal-Mart for a headset or ear buds for this machine (the computer I am using). I do not think walking into a store with police ink on my fingertips sounds like much fun. Hmm, I might have to do some shopping, grocery shopping, too. I now have many snacks but few meal preparations. Who knows though, I am not feeling terribly ambitious and I do have some food left.
Write at you later.
.
Today, so far, has been productive. Besides finally remembering to call my Mom, I called and left a message on my lady friend's answering system. She called back a short while later and we got caught up on each other's doings. More on that in a bit. I saw my neighbor outside but when my conversation was over, he had already gone back into his apartment. I decided to then clean the .22 rifles and pistol, again. But this time I used some stuff my neighbor loaned which he suggested would do very well. And it did. I had intended to just clean the Henry but ended up cleaning the whole of the .22 pistol and the barrel of the target .22 rifle. It takes a little more time than what it might seem. But they are all very clean now, and ready to get dirty again.
My lady friend sounded chipper when I answered her return call. She just returned from the garden, where she feels like Custer. She sounds overwhelmed by it a bit, the weeding, the hoeing, and whatever. I suggested that the garden is as much of a work as it is a reminder that we cannot do it all at once, ever really be ahead, but that there will still be bounty with some reasonable effort. I think she liked hearing that. She started to fade fast while we were talking. Between working nights for pay and mornings for organic food (and pleasure) she does not have much left. I hope she realizes she is in a place and time where if she can she will but if she cannot she should not worry so much about it. Like me, she usually gets to the important things and takes care of business, all in even a more timely fashion than I have been able to up to the move. I hope she tends herself a bit more, but I understand that unintentional self-abuse in simply trying to do everything. She will be going canoeing soon, again. Another waterway cleanup. As messy as it sounds, and I am lead to believe it is worse than it sounds, she loves it. Canoeing, cleaning up the rivers, not having to worry about food, camping each night, the people she meets, and perhaps even just getting muddy so that cleaning herself means more than usual.
Oh, and if I did not mention it, I did get up earlier today. I think it was around 9:30. It is tough to just wake up without some plan of attack or something specific to do. Especially while it is nice and cool and waking up means heating up. Still, that is my goal. Yesterday I woke early, if only because the primers had come in (the buffalo!). But today was an active, and somewhat difficult, choice.
I am a little annoyed at not having heard from several friends I have emailed. I wonder if they are busy, gone, or just not sure what to write back. Both of them are in the throws of academic higher education. One of them might or might not be on vacation and has family and church obligations. The other, I simply do not know what is going on with him. Well, it does give me something minor to grump about. And I will forgive them, right after I wring their necks. :P
I may go to the police station and get the fingerprints done, if I can get it in gear. But if I do that, I will first go to Wal-Mart for a headset or ear buds for this machine (the computer I am using). I do not think walking into a store with police ink on my fingertips sounds like much fun. Hmm, I might have to do some shopping, grocery shopping, too. I now have many snacks but few meal preparations. Who knows though, I am not feeling terribly ambitious and I do have some food left.
Write at you later.
Life is so very rich.
.
.
I honestly cannot believe how well life is now. Not only is my physical condition becoming better, my mental and spiritual life is improving just as well. Never have I done this well, even in the best of times at college in Iowa. I would not have believed it if someone had told me. Not only am I juggling appointments, contacts, what work I do, and play, I am simply and purely enjoying life as it comes. This is more miraculous than in my dreams. Now, when I mean to do something, though it might take weeks, I hit the target. If it is time dependent, I still hit it. If there is some slack in timing, I may use that slack or not, though I make great efforts to simply do it quickly. Life really is good.
Oh, to be sure, I still have issues. I missed calling my Mom on her birthday. And, yes, I feel bad about that. She has been a great Mom as she has been capable, and we have grown quite close over our adult years. She has been there, and often, for me. And for my brother in his need, now. She is a grace. And, I still have days where I can do little, I do need rest. And I do not know fiscal kung-fu yet, and maybe never will. Some things will not change, not without a helper mate type. Even then, of course, perfection is not to be had. But this is as close to it as I get. School will test this.
I am coming about regarding the V.A. as well. I know I have been harsh with them. Some of that was emotional, some of it was frustration with the medicines and my past experiences with those and a seeming lack of concern, and some of it is real and will always exist. If one can simply do what their doctors say and it works, that person will not understand my anger and frustration. Simply put, I could not follow regimens and advice given by doctors because something was too wrong with me or my body rejected that, not because I was or am simply contrarian. Though too, some of my frustration came from a system which simply ignored my difficulties. Things are working out well here. So well, I may be able to tell my doctor I do not need Ritalin! I will not guarantee that, as dosing may need to go up and I am not taking the water pill yet as it has not arrived yet. But, from where I am sitting, things are looking good. Well, when I get in school, perhaps that extra med might help. I am talking from a time where I have no daily physical activity requirements, no classes and thus no homework or studies ongoing, and no actual timed schedule. We will see though.
Further more, I am beginning to trust the people at this V.A. I had a few I trusted at the last one, actually I trusted most of them except that one doctor and to some degree my therapist. They are taking a steady and helpful, rather than cynical, approach to me. If I see remnants of that old cynicism, I think honest work and my new found abilities will cure some of that. I do understand where some of the cynicism began at the V.A. in Iowa City though. I was simply unable to comply and that must have led them to believe I was being difficult, or may have led them to that conclusion. That could only occur, however, if they did not believe what I was telling them. What I was telling them was simply the truth as I knew it. Oh well.
My body is on the mend as well. I am becoming able to stand longer as I had hoped. My arms or solidifying. Shooting, driving, being awake full days, and taking care of business has been strengthening my body to a point I have only seen last summer on Ritalin. Perhaps I am not that strong yet, but I think I might find my way there as it cools and I can work out and hike. I suspect hiking this fall, camping, and cross country skiing will only add to that. Even the temporary set back from the medicine is loosening and I am rebounding well.
The one thing I need to get is earbuds or a headset for this computer. To begin studying on this machine (I have some helpful math and science CDs) and online materials as a prelude to taking courses again, I have to be able to hear. This little machine is not the loudest and is rather tinny sounding to boot. With a fan and sometimes air conditioning going as well, I simply cannot hear this machine. Simple solutions seem to work so well, if only I can remember when I go shopping.
I just wanted to write this. This, officially, is the turning point in a long life of crippling disability. I cannot tell you why it has happened. I only know that it has. Problems, yeah, sure, we all have them. But a serious hope and a real set of senses upon which to build a successful life, that I now have. Someday I hope to look back on these days and simply wonder about it, no longer having any connection to the disastrous life I had been living. I think that will happen sooner than later, maybe only a few years from now. I do hope, however, to hold on to my humility, kindness, and simple nature I have earned from being disabled. There are indeed graces to be found however you may find yourself. Then again, perhaps I still cannot get through school or become employed. Even then, I will most likely still have a longer, happier, healthier, and more vigorous life.
Life is very good and it just got a lot better.
Good day.
.
I honestly cannot believe how well life is now. Not only is my physical condition becoming better, my mental and spiritual life is improving just as well. Never have I done this well, even in the best of times at college in Iowa. I would not have believed it if someone had told me. Not only am I juggling appointments, contacts, what work I do, and play, I am simply and purely enjoying life as it comes. This is more miraculous than in my dreams. Now, when I mean to do something, though it might take weeks, I hit the target. If it is time dependent, I still hit it. If there is some slack in timing, I may use that slack or not, though I make great efforts to simply do it quickly. Life really is good.
Oh, to be sure, I still have issues. I missed calling my Mom on her birthday. And, yes, I feel bad about that. She has been a great Mom as she has been capable, and we have grown quite close over our adult years. She has been there, and often, for me. And for my brother in his need, now. She is a grace. And, I still have days where I can do little, I do need rest. And I do not know fiscal kung-fu yet, and maybe never will. Some things will not change, not without a helper mate type. Even then, of course, perfection is not to be had. But this is as close to it as I get. School will test this.
I am coming about regarding the V.A. as well. I know I have been harsh with them. Some of that was emotional, some of it was frustration with the medicines and my past experiences with those and a seeming lack of concern, and some of it is real and will always exist. If one can simply do what their doctors say and it works, that person will not understand my anger and frustration. Simply put, I could not follow regimens and advice given by doctors because something was too wrong with me or my body rejected that, not because I was or am simply contrarian. Though too, some of my frustration came from a system which simply ignored my difficulties. Things are working out well here. So well, I may be able to tell my doctor I do not need Ritalin! I will not guarantee that, as dosing may need to go up and I am not taking the water pill yet as it has not arrived yet. But, from where I am sitting, things are looking good. Well, when I get in school, perhaps that extra med might help. I am talking from a time where I have no daily physical activity requirements, no classes and thus no homework or studies ongoing, and no actual timed schedule. We will see though.
Further more, I am beginning to trust the people at this V.A. I had a few I trusted at the last one, actually I trusted most of them except that one doctor and to some degree my therapist. They are taking a steady and helpful, rather than cynical, approach to me. If I see remnants of that old cynicism, I think honest work and my new found abilities will cure some of that. I do understand where some of the cynicism began at the V.A. in Iowa City though. I was simply unable to comply and that must have led them to believe I was being difficult, or may have led them to that conclusion. That could only occur, however, if they did not believe what I was telling them. What I was telling them was simply the truth as I knew it. Oh well.
My body is on the mend as well. I am becoming able to stand longer as I had hoped. My arms or solidifying. Shooting, driving, being awake full days, and taking care of business has been strengthening my body to a point I have only seen last summer on Ritalin. Perhaps I am not that strong yet, but I think I might find my way there as it cools and I can work out and hike. I suspect hiking this fall, camping, and cross country skiing will only add to that. Even the temporary set back from the medicine is loosening and I am rebounding well.
The one thing I need to get is earbuds or a headset for this computer. To begin studying on this machine (I have some helpful math and science CDs) and online materials as a prelude to taking courses again, I have to be able to hear. This little machine is not the loudest and is rather tinny sounding to boot. With a fan and sometimes air conditioning going as well, I simply cannot hear this machine. Simple solutions seem to work so well, if only I can remember when I go shopping.
I just wanted to write this. This, officially, is the turning point in a long life of crippling disability. I cannot tell you why it has happened. I only know that it has. Problems, yeah, sure, we all have them. But a serious hope and a real set of senses upon which to build a successful life, that I now have. Someday I hope to look back on these days and simply wonder about it, no longer having any connection to the disastrous life I had been living. I think that will happen sooner than later, maybe only a few years from now. I do hope, however, to hold on to my humility, kindness, and simple nature I have earned from being disabled. There are indeed graces to be found however you may find yourself. Then again, perhaps I still cannot get through school or become employed. Even then, I will most likely still have a longer, happier, healthier, and more vigorous life.
Life is very good and it just got a lot better.
Good day.
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
A long and successful day.
.
.
As I said, I am now having trouble getting to sleep, again. My recovery from the effects of the medicine has been profound. Other than weakness of body, about the same weakness I first had here, and lingering prospects for headaches which can be managed with Tylenol, I am back in the game. And more, I am quite anxious to work through this weakness again. I am sure there will be ups and downs on it, but that I can take it and push is something new. I do worry that maybe this is only the summer weather, that when fall and then winter sets in I might lose whatever edge I seem to have gained. I will not worry greatly, it is just a nagging thing.
In spite of not sleeping, I was able to wake this morning. My neighbor rang the doorbell pretty good. And though quite groggy at 10:30 or so from going to bed and 4:00 or 5:00 or 6:00, it sounded important so I got up. It turns out one of the places we buy ammunition and such had just gotten in a shipment of primers! So, I hurried and showered, and we headed out. Surprisingly there was not a rush on them. There were plenty, though they only allowed 1000 per customer. They did not have large rifle, but they had the rest. Too bad, I only need large rifle and pistol. But pleased, that I am. I have the powder, then the primers, and I have kept my brass, so all I needed was bullets.
Since I was awake, and primed (grins), I decided to go to Ogden for my blood draw. I need to look at a map and get some perspective there. The way they suggested has me driving through 30 miles of town (well, maybe ten miles, but at the pace it seems like 30). I tried the interstate to arrive more quickly today, but the signs do not seem to tell when I am in any particular city. They just have things like 400 N, 1 1/2 mile. Okay, but which city. There are dozens of small towns on either side of Ogden, there is North and South Ogden, and on the interstate I never stop seeing city scape till on past Salt Lake City. Actually, I have not driven far enough South to leave city scape.
In any case, I pulled off the interstate just in time to make me drive clear through Both Ogdens, and their construction season road fun house, added in with the summer rat-race thing. With the air conditioning and some music playing, that is not so bad though really. I am just blatantly hitting you up for sympathy. *sigh* At least, at this point, I have a good idea where I am going and a decent plan of attack driving here or there in Ogden. And I was able to get to the clinic in plenty of time. I also asked about dentists, for my neighbor. They had a list for just such a question. And I asked about compensation for the drive. They offered me a sheet, had me fill it out, and said they do not know who is compensated, how much, only that if I am one of those I will receive a check for some unknown amount. We chuckled about it. They added both today and last weeks visit. I can hope. I am running a wee dry, financially. The primers were a (nearly) final strain. I had to check my remaining credit card before making that purchase.
Before all that, when I arrived, I had to use the men's room, desperately. I did so, and quickly before going to the front desk. They wanted, I knew, a fasting blood test, and actually they drew five vials of blood or so. After that, they asked if I could give them a urine sample. Actually, they needed it full as they were running two tests on it. I gave them that bad doggy look, and we discussed it. They have to load all specimens by 14:30 for shipment to the VA Hospital in SLC. It was 13:15 or so. They asked if I could, you know, drink some stuff and try before then. Bless them, I know their job is difficult and I did not want to tax the system more with a return trip (or pay for the gas myself, either, if that is how it is). So I drove to a nearby gas station, I needed to fill up anyway. I bought a 64 ounce Gatorade and a 1 liter Squirt. I drove back and, in the parking lot, chugged the 64 ouncer and about 8 ounces of the Squirt. Ugh. I sat just a bit, as time was getting quite thin. I was not sure I would be able to perform, but I went in on hope. After a little chat, I received the specimen container and... specimened. I had to almost (internal) push it out. But I gave them their dues. I certainly hope this has nothing to do with yielding unto Caesar what is Caesars?
Good, all done for the day I thought. But, no, I had promised (and needed to) go out shooting. But first, I decided to go to the locally owned gun and bike shop. The only thing I needed at the time was bullets. I prefer to shoot 230 grain, and fmj (full metal jackets) if at all possible. It was possible, though I took my final financial hit. I purchased two bags of 300 (so 600 total) fmj 230 grain .45 acp bullets. Those are very heavy. Too cool, I have everything to reload now! I just need to set up my Dillon 550b. Of course, they say I can put out almost as many bullets as I have supplies for, but in only an hour. Well, I am a noob for one, so it will take longer. And, actually, I do not think I have enough brass to process 500 bullets either. Oh well. The only thing I am not sure about is whether to try to get that going here or to wait until I move. Decisions, decisions, decisions.
After arriving home, I had time to unload the items from the car to the cave, rest, check my email, maybe blog (either I read or posted, I will look later). After a brief time in, I say my neighbor go by my window. I went out to see what was going on and find out if and when he might like to shoot. He asked if I needed a nap. I guess he is getting to know me too well. But I just laughed as said that after getting over the extreme sleepiness that the medicine initially caused, that now I neither need extra sleep nor can I even get to sleep! He laughed as well.
We decided, since I did not need sleep and all, that we could go right away. He grabbed his kit, and I grabbed mine. We went, again, to the dam and graveled hilly area. He started with his .38/.357 and I only had the Henry .22 rifle. And shoot we did. I was able to get closer to the target bullseye. I am now just a little low and right. I worked with the sight and shot some more. I was able to get my shots into a 2 1/2" circle at 50 feet. I am sorely disappointed but I will keep working on it. The .22 bullets that work the best are the CSI standard loads. I still have about 4oo or 500 left. I realized, while shooting, that I should have bought more in Ogden. He was enjoying shooting too, especially now that he has primers again. I think he has enough small pistol primers, but the large pistol primers were all gone.
So, a full day! I had thought this would not happen due to my lack of sleep last night. And, without my neighbor and primers coming in, I probably would have done nothing today. Tomorrow I may rest. In the slow day, however, I would like to figure out where to advertise my apartment. I have heard nothing back from the grad student my new renters were trying to get me with, the grad student who will be arriving in Logan mid-October from field work. I have to put out the advertisement or it will end up being too late and I will be stuck with two rents for quite a bit longer. Not much else will be done tomorrow. Anything after that I will think about throughout tomorrow.
Hopefully lack of sleep will not plague me tonight. I am bothered though, that several people I have emailed have failed to respond, my lady friend has not been in contact, and some other activities seem to have ceased. I guess some periods are just slow that way. Hmm, I ought to check the mail. I have not checked it since before my birthday, maybe I have a card.
Good night.
.
As I said, I am now having trouble getting to sleep, again. My recovery from the effects of the medicine has been profound. Other than weakness of body, about the same weakness I first had here, and lingering prospects for headaches which can be managed with Tylenol, I am back in the game. And more, I am quite anxious to work through this weakness again. I am sure there will be ups and downs on it, but that I can take it and push is something new. I do worry that maybe this is only the summer weather, that when fall and then winter sets in I might lose whatever edge I seem to have gained. I will not worry greatly, it is just a nagging thing.
In spite of not sleeping, I was able to wake this morning. My neighbor rang the doorbell pretty good. And though quite groggy at 10:30 or so from going to bed and 4:00 or 5:00 or 6:00, it sounded important so I got up. It turns out one of the places we buy ammunition and such had just gotten in a shipment of primers! So, I hurried and showered, and we headed out. Surprisingly there was not a rush on them. There were plenty, though they only allowed 1000 per customer. They did not have large rifle, but they had the rest. Too bad, I only need large rifle and pistol. But pleased, that I am. I have the powder, then the primers, and I have kept my brass, so all I needed was bullets.
Since I was awake, and primed (grins), I decided to go to Ogden for my blood draw. I need to look at a map and get some perspective there. The way they suggested has me driving through 30 miles of town (well, maybe ten miles, but at the pace it seems like 30). I tried the interstate to arrive more quickly today, but the signs do not seem to tell when I am in any particular city. They just have things like 400 N, 1 1/2 mile. Okay, but which city. There are dozens of small towns on either side of Ogden, there is North and South Ogden, and on the interstate I never stop seeing city scape till on past Salt Lake City. Actually, I have not driven far enough South to leave city scape.
In any case, I pulled off the interstate just in time to make me drive clear through Both Ogdens, and their construction season road fun house, added in with the summer rat-race thing. With the air conditioning and some music playing, that is not so bad though really. I am just blatantly hitting you up for sympathy. *sigh* At least, at this point, I have a good idea where I am going and a decent plan of attack driving here or there in Ogden. And I was able to get to the clinic in plenty of time. I also asked about dentists, for my neighbor. They had a list for just such a question. And I asked about compensation for the drive. They offered me a sheet, had me fill it out, and said they do not know who is compensated, how much, only that if I am one of those I will receive a check for some unknown amount. We chuckled about it. They added both today and last weeks visit. I can hope. I am running a wee dry, financially. The primers were a (nearly) final strain. I had to check my remaining credit card before making that purchase.
Before all that, when I arrived, I had to use the men's room, desperately. I did so, and quickly before going to the front desk. They wanted, I knew, a fasting blood test, and actually they drew five vials of blood or so. After that, they asked if I could give them a urine sample. Actually, they needed it full as they were running two tests on it. I gave them that bad doggy look, and we discussed it. They have to load all specimens by 14:30 for shipment to the VA Hospital in SLC. It was 13:15 or so. They asked if I could, you know, drink some stuff and try before then. Bless them, I know their job is difficult and I did not want to tax the system more with a return trip (or pay for the gas myself, either, if that is how it is). So I drove to a nearby gas station, I needed to fill up anyway. I bought a 64 ounce Gatorade and a 1 liter Squirt. I drove back and, in the parking lot, chugged the 64 ouncer and about 8 ounces of the Squirt. Ugh. I sat just a bit, as time was getting quite thin. I was not sure I would be able to perform, but I went in on hope. After a little chat, I received the specimen container and... specimened. I had to almost (internal) push it out. But I gave them their dues. I certainly hope this has nothing to do with yielding unto Caesar what is Caesars?
Good, all done for the day I thought. But, no, I had promised (and needed to) go out shooting. But first, I decided to go to the locally owned gun and bike shop. The only thing I needed at the time was bullets. I prefer to shoot 230 grain, and fmj (full metal jackets) if at all possible. It was possible, though I took my final financial hit. I purchased two bags of 300 (so 600 total) fmj 230 grain .45 acp bullets. Those are very heavy. Too cool, I have everything to reload now! I just need to set up my Dillon 550b. Of course, they say I can put out almost as many bullets as I have supplies for, but in only an hour. Well, I am a noob for one, so it will take longer. And, actually, I do not think I have enough brass to process 500 bullets either. Oh well. The only thing I am not sure about is whether to try to get that going here or to wait until I move. Decisions, decisions, decisions.
After arriving home, I had time to unload the items from the car to the cave, rest, check my email, maybe blog (either I read or posted, I will look later). After a brief time in, I say my neighbor go by my window. I went out to see what was going on and find out if and when he might like to shoot. He asked if I needed a nap. I guess he is getting to know me too well. But I just laughed as said that after getting over the extreme sleepiness that the medicine initially caused, that now I neither need extra sleep nor can I even get to sleep! He laughed as well.
We decided, since I did not need sleep and all, that we could go right away. He grabbed his kit, and I grabbed mine. We went, again, to the dam and graveled hilly area. He started with his .38/.357 and I only had the Henry .22 rifle. And shoot we did. I was able to get closer to the target bullseye. I am now just a little low and right. I worked with the sight and shot some more. I was able to get my shots into a 2 1/2" circle at 50 feet. I am sorely disappointed but I will keep working on it. The .22 bullets that work the best are the CSI standard loads. I still have about 4oo or 500 left. I realized, while shooting, that I should have bought more in Ogden. He was enjoying shooting too, especially now that he has primers again. I think he has enough small pistol primers, but the large pistol primers were all gone.
So, a full day! I had thought this would not happen due to my lack of sleep last night. And, without my neighbor and primers coming in, I probably would have done nothing today. Tomorrow I may rest. In the slow day, however, I would like to figure out where to advertise my apartment. I have heard nothing back from the grad student my new renters were trying to get me with, the grad student who will be arriving in Logan mid-October from field work. I have to put out the advertisement or it will end up being too late and I will be stuck with two rents for quite a bit longer. Not much else will be done tomorrow. Anything after that I will think about throughout tomorrow.
Hopefully lack of sleep will not plague me tonight. I am bothered though, that several people I have emailed have failed to respond, my lady friend has not been in contact, and some other activities seem to have ceased. I guess some periods are just slow that way. Hmm, I ought to check the mail. I have not checked it since before my birthday, maybe I have a card.
Good night.
Doh!
.
.
Back to the beginning, in more ways then one. After fighting to get through the sleepiness and flu symptoms, not only is my body weak again, but now I find sleep elusive again too! Maybe I should not fight so hard, eh? *laughs* I promise, I am not building my house on sand, it is the earthquakes that plague my house! I will, with this as well, reconquer and contain, dominate and prevail. So says the lion mouse, give or take.
I keep learning, in every direction, from blogs, my interests, and my new found functioning. I am amazed at the world out there, the world that had been passing me up for so long. I have learned new bits about coffee, little pieces of information about fly fishing, a byte or two regarding guns and gunsmithing and upkeep, the bible and what it says, and many other topics. On the bible, actually I do know much. Reading and re-reading that as a child and into my teens, I really did grok it. But, as it suggests, the Holy Spirit guides one to new insights and often when actively reading it.
I may still be living in a lower functioning life, in that I am not earning an income and finally living on my own merits. I may not ever get to that point or, if things hold in that they continue to improve, I may actually become employable and employed in a few years. Whatever the case, I will not again be encased in solitude and frozen in life. Of that I am sure. If it is this place, so be it. If it was merely my will to seek and that I was rewarded for my effort, that is okay. Whatever the source of this new chance and opportunity, I am grabbing it by the horns and going for the ride of my life.
Find your bull and grab on. I cannot tell you it will not be bumpy, I will not claim it is all fun and games. But if you have the strength left in you, or even if you do not as I did not, head where you know it to be. The rest will just happen. I have never quit, if I took rests, after I realized I was here for purposes that were not my own and that it was not for me to give or take. LIFE IS GOOD. Eat it up before it spits you out.
Hmmm, can I haz my sleep nows? Ugh! *laughs*
.
Back to the beginning, in more ways then one. After fighting to get through the sleepiness and flu symptoms, not only is my body weak again, but now I find sleep elusive again too! Maybe I should not fight so hard, eh? *laughs* I promise, I am not building my house on sand, it is the earthquakes that plague my house! I will, with this as well, reconquer and contain, dominate and prevail. So says the lion mouse, give or take.
I keep learning, in every direction, from blogs, my interests, and my new found functioning. I am amazed at the world out there, the world that had been passing me up for so long. I have learned new bits about coffee, little pieces of information about fly fishing, a byte or two regarding guns and gunsmithing and upkeep, the bible and what it says, and many other topics. On the bible, actually I do know much. Reading and re-reading that as a child and into my teens, I really did grok it. But, as it suggests, the Holy Spirit guides one to new insights and often when actively reading it.
I may still be living in a lower functioning life, in that I am not earning an income and finally living on my own merits. I may not ever get to that point or, if things hold in that they continue to improve, I may actually become employable and employed in a few years. Whatever the case, I will not again be encased in solitude and frozen in life. Of that I am sure. If it is this place, so be it. If it was merely my will to seek and that I was rewarded for my effort, that is okay. Whatever the source of this new chance and opportunity, I am grabbing it by the horns and going for the ride of my life.
Find your bull and grab on. I cannot tell you it will not be bumpy, I will not claim it is all fun and games. But if you have the strength left in you, or even if you do not as I did not, head where you know it to be. The rest will just happen. I have never quit, if I took rests, after I realized I was here for purposes that were not my own and that it was not for me to give or take. LIFE IS GOOD. Eat it up before it spits you out.
Hmmm, can I haz my sleep nows? Ugh! *laughs*
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
If I had not mentioned it...
.
.
I have been reading the bible, New Testament to begin with, almost daily lately.
There is, of course, simply what God, Christ, and men moved by the Holy Spirit are showing and telling. There is much direct information, sometimes in ordered groups, sometimes seemingly randomly placed. There are, seeming, contradictions, regarding wealth for example. Christ tells the rich young man to sell all he possesses and to come walk with Him. The young man, not willing to part with all of his material goods, walks away. And yet, in a parable, Jesus discusses a lord who gives his servants 10, 5, and 1 talent each. When he returns a year later, the servants who received 10 and 5 talents have doubled those coins while the one who received only 1 talent merely buried it for safe keeping. The former servants are entreated by the master while the one who did nothing with the coin is rebuked and the coin is removed from him. I know, these are nuances. Yet they are so boldly stated that it is difficult to take them at more than face value, so they do seem contradictory.
At this point, I am merely reading. I will study these passages in time in much greater depth, perhaps to include finding various translations. I would love to learn the original languages and simply read myself, but that has flaws as well. I believe one would have to actually study the languages of the era of the writings, and given that there is a lot of era language to learn, it might not even be possible, except over a true whole lifetime (if then) to be aware of all the linguistic intricacies, and have a body of tomes regarding those to be more certain. And, without the Holy Spirit too, any reading would be academic.
The real point, however, that I wished to make, is that the stories in the bible, from parables to history to odd little bits is rather amazing. For example, how John the Baptist came, lived at times, worked, and then was killed. Yes, it was a terrible thing. When Christ heard the news, he wanted to be alone. But all that is involved is larger than life in spite of being history. And, yes, I believe in the simple true historic nature of the bible. Is the history simplistic at times, sure. Much like when you are asked how your day went, you do not include every coffee break, every conversation, every (or any) bathroom break, you simply discuss the major points or the points that you enjoyed or had or are having trouble.
I suppose, in these days where our governments are afraid to punish those who kill us, it is weird to think that a king would order the beheading of a man because a girl danced well. It is difficult to imagine that a murderer would be freed while a truly faultless man would be scourged and then crucified. Well, other than the 'scourged and sacrificed', actually I can see that today. High society, the stars and starlets, academics, writers, artists, and many others, in their mainstream forms, are every bit as evil as the crowd that voted for Jesus to die. I could place them in the same arena doing the same thing, especially if picked by those in power today, unfortunately in any nation on earth at this point, and even if picked by many churches, whose concern is some kind of socialist 'social justice'.
There are many things written which give me pause in my personal life as well. I do wonder about my many goods. I do think about the masters displeasure with the one who had only one coin. I see where I fail on both fronts, in spite of the seeming contradictions. There are many other passages which trouble me. I pray about them and I look at how I can change some of these things in my life. Like my health struggles, these spiritual difficulties will not be solved overnight. I must think on them and find out how to implement them. Of course, I may simply not be able to overcome some of my failings. I may never learn how to save for rainy days, how to not collect items, or a lot of other things. It might simply have to be His grace, not my works, in much of life. And, after a great deal of praying, speaking with spiritual advisers and others, and reading the bible, I think I am finally, if uncomfortably, good with that. It is not that I shrug, or give up, it is simply that I now understand... a bit. I will do what I am able to do and leave the rest for my Father and Lord to assist or forgive.
If you are ever in the mood for some good, in all senses of that word, reading, pick up the bible. It cannot hurt you. Only you could do that by seeing your flaws or weaknesses. But with simple guidance, I think you will be able to see your way around even those things and into grace rather than shame. Even if you do not believe, the stories are interesting. Besides, if it is merely a book, what harm could come of reading it? For me, it is a powerful set of books, and I will continue reading, and then studying the 'Human Guide to Life'. It beats the sci-fi channel, "History" channel, and "science" channels I used to watch, even without moving pictures or sound.
Oh, the lamb shoulder chops were excellent. I did not need the tarragon or spearmint leaves, as they simply did not add much to the pan frying. A little salt, some pepper, a potato, some milk, and a prayer did the trick just fine. Plus, I have two pre-baked potatoes for frying with breakfasts later this week.
Good night. Do not let the bed bugs bite.
.
I have been reading the bible, New Testament to begin with, almost daily lately.
There is, of course, simply what God, Christ, and men moved by the Holy Spirit are showing and telling. There is much direct information, sometimes in ordered groups, sometimes seemingly randomly placed. There are, seeming, contradictions, regarding wealth for example. Christ tells the rich young man to sell all he possesses and to come walk with Him. The young man, not willing to part with all of his material goods, walks away. And yet, in a parable, Jesus discusses a lord who gives his servants 10, 5, and 1 talent each. When he returns a year later, the servants who received 10 and 5 talents have doubled those coins while the one who received only 1 talent merely buried it for safe keeping. The former servants are entreated by the master while the one who did nothing with the coin is rebuked and the coin is removed from him. I know, these are nuances. Yet they are so boldly stated that it is difficult to take them at more than face value, so they do seem contradictory.
At this point, I am merely reading. I will study these passages in time in much greater depth, perhaps to include finding various translations. I would love to learn the original languages and simply read myself, but that has flaws as well. I believe one would have to actually study the languages of the era of the writings, and given that there is a lot of era language to learn, it might not even be possible, except over a true whole lifetime (if then) to be aware of all the linguistic intricacies, and have a body of tomes regarding those to be more certain. And, without the Holy Spirit too, any reading would be academic.
The real point, however, that I wished to make, is that the stories in the bible, from parables to history to odd little bits is rather amazing. For example, how John the Baptist came, lived at times, worked, and then was killed. Yes, it was a terrible thing. When Christ heard the news, he wanted to be alone. But all that is involved is larger than life in spite of being history. And, yes, I believe in the simple true historic nature of the bible. Is the history simplistic at times, sure. Much like when you are asked how your day went, you do not include every coffee break, every conversation, every (or any) bathroom break, you simply discuss the major points or the points that you enjoyed or had or are having trouble.
I suppose, in these days where our governments are afraid to punish those who kill us, it is weird to think that a king would order the beheading of a man because a girl danced well. It is difficult to imagine that a murderer would be freed while a truly faultless man would be scourged and then crucified. Well, other than the 'scourged and sacrificed', actually I can see that today. High society, the stars and starlets, academics, writers, artists, and many others, in their mainstream forms, are every bit as evil as the crowd that voted for Jesus to die. I could place them in the same arena doing the same thing, especially if picked by those in power today, unfortunately in any nation on earth at this point, and even if picked by many churches, whose concern is some kind of socialist 'social justice'.
There are many things written which give me pause in my personal life as well. I do wonder about my many goods. I do think about the masters displeasure with the one who had only one coin. I see where I fail on both fronts, in spite of the seeming contradictions. There are many other passages which trouble me. I pray about them and I look at how I can change some of these things in my life. Like my health struggles, these spiritual difficulties will not be solved overnight. I must think on them and find out how to implement them. Of course, I may simply not be able to overcome some of my failings. I may never learn how to save for rainy days, how to not collect items, or a lot of other things. It might simply have to be His grace, not my works, in much of life. And, after a great deal of praying, speaking with spiritual advisers and others, and reading the bible, I think I am finally, if uncomfortably, good with that. It is not that I shrug, or give up, it is simply that I now understand... a bit. I will do what I am able to do and leave the rest for my Father and Lord to assist or forgive.
If you are ever in the mood for some good, in all senses of that word, reading, pick up the bible. It cannot hurt you. Only you could do that by seeing your flaws or weaknesses. But with simple guidance, I think you will be able to see your way around even those things and into grace rather than shame. Even if you do not believe, the stories are interesting. Besides, if it is merely a book, what harm could come of reading it? For me, it is a powerful set of books, and I will continue reading, and then studying the 'Human Guide to Life'. It beats the sci-fi channel, "History" channel, and "science" channels I used to watch, even without moving pictures or sound.
Oh, the lamb shoulder chops were excellent. I did not need the tarragon or spearmint leaves, as they simply did not add much to the pan frying. A little salt, some pepper, a potato, some milk, and a prayer did the trick just fine. Plus, I have two pre-baked potatoes for frying with breakfasts later this week.
Good night. Do not let the bed bugs bite.
Shooting and not much else.
.
.
My neighbor and myself went to the range today. I can now shoot a .22 rifle with iron sights, and use it for my hunter's safety course. He was plinking, I was trying to see where the rifle shoots, or to see if it would even get on paper. It is low and the the right a bit. The small targets they offer... all I can say is I hope they really do not want us to be able to hit the bullseye. I am not sure a standard rifle will do that. I will have to get out, probably nearly daily, and shoot to even get close to that. The spread with the rifle is probably 4". I was standing only though too. We get 10 shots standing, sitting, and prone. I am going to work on standing first, since that is the most difficult. It is light enough, I just need practice with this particular firearm.
I will clean it and oil it tonight. It did seem a touch dry. I believe it does need cleaning as well. Shooting it out a bit will not hurt it at all either. A hundred or more rounds went through the business tube this afternoon. Many more will pass the same way. It is a new rifle, so it may just take a bit of a shooting to get it into shape. I will find out before long. It is a Henry Repeating rifle. The lever action is quite smooth. I certainly hope it tightens up on the target. Then again, it might simply be my bad shooting. Time will tell.
My reaction to the medicine seems to have improved. I am still a little tired and a little weak, but I am working on improving those things. If I stand for a half hour, I get flush and tired, just like when I first moved here. Standing on the porch talking to my neighbor, going shooting, and pushing like I initially did will hopefully get me back on my feet, literally. Starting from the start does not sound so great, but I am starting to think I can do it. Odd though, the cramps I got from doing that and then got over are back. The trick to that, as I learned, was salt. And pickle juice is the ticket for that. Thankfully, I loaded up on three jars a while back, and have 2 full left, and 2 pickles and a quarter of the juice in the opened jar.
I think, tonight, I am going to bake a few potatoes (Idaho, fresh). Along with butter and sour cream, those will be perfect sides for my lamb chops. I am baking three potatoes and actually think that one will be enough for dinner. The other two will make breakfasts a bit better and fuller. I actually did some cooking for late breakfast. A couple of 3 ounce sausage patties and 3 eggs. It was very good to eat a real breakfast, it has been a while. The cast iron skillet allows me to cook without as much cleanup, muss, or fuss.
I have been meaning to call my lady friend. I should do that before long. But I have two times of the day to call her or I will simply get an answering service, and I hate that. I am a bit worried about her, not having heard anything in some time. I am sure she is fine, if lonely and feeling a little deserted.
Good day, or evening really.
.
My neighbor and myself went to the range today. I can now shoot a .22 rifle with iron sights, and use it for my hunter's safety course. He was plinking, I was trying to see where the rifle shoots, or to see if it would even get on paper. It is low and the the right a bit. The small targets they offer... all I can say is I hope they really do not want us to be able to hit the bullseye. I am not sure a standard rifle will do that. I will have to get out, probably nearly daily, and shoot to even get close to that. The spread with the rifle is probably 4". I was standing only though too. We get 10 shots standing, sitting, and prone. I am going to work on standing first, since that is the most difficult. It is light enough, I just need practice with this particular firearm.
I will clean it and oil it tonight. It did seem a touch dry. I believe it does need cleaning as well. Shooting it out a bit will not hurt it at all either. A hundred or more rounds went through the business tube this afternoon. Many more will pass the same way. It is a new rifle, so it may just take a bit of a shooting to get it into shape. I will find out before long. It is a Henry Repeating rifle. The lever action is quite smooth. I certainly hope it tightens up on the target. Then again, it might simply be my bad shooting. Time will tell.
My reaction to the medicine seems to have improved. I am still a little tired and a little weak, but I am working on improving those things. If I stand for a half hour, I get flush and tired, just like when I first moved here. Standing on the porch talking to my neighbor, going shooting, and pushing like I initially did will hopefully get me back on my feet, literally. Starting from the start does not sound so great, but I am starting to think I can do it. Odd though, the cramps I got from doing that and then got over are back. The trick to that, as I learned, was salt. And pickle juice is the ticket for that. Thankfully, I loaded up on three jars a while back, and have 2 full left, and 2 pickles and a quarter of the juice in the opened jar.
I think, tonight, I am going to bake a few potatoes (Idaho, fresh). Along with butter and sour cream, those will be perfect sides for my lamb chops. I am baking three potatoes and actually think that one will be enough for dinner. The other two will make breakfasts a bit better and fuller. I actually did some cooking for late breakfast. A couple of 3 ounce sausage patties and 3 eggs. It was very good to eat a real breakfast, it has been a while. The cast iron skillet allows me to cook without as much cleanup, muss, or fuss.
I have been meaning to call my lady friend. I should do that before long. But I have two times of the day to call her or I will simply get an answering service, and I hate that. I am a bit worried about her, not having heard anything in some time. I am sure she is fine, if lonely and feeling a little deserted.
Good day, or evening really.
Swell, so far.
.
.
Last night, even after taking two doses in close proximity timewise, life was rather easy. I stayed up a little past that last post, with no problems. I did take the Tylenol, and there was a slight increase in pain until that kicked in. When I finally felt the (natural seeming) call to sleep, I headed on to bed. That was the most comfortable and natural sleep I have had since starting the stuff. I rolled as I should, the sleep was neither too shallow nor too deep. I did not sweat or burn. And I slept well in all manners. I tried to wake to be in Ogden, but I think that will need to be tomorrow. I am moving a bit slow and I am still a bit groggy.
It is so strange that a medicine can build to such a crescendo of suffering and then, even if it is just one time, be taken with zero side affects. I have had medicines where the effects vary, but none where they disappear in such a weird fashion. I will take it. It was becoming quite harsh. And, should this be short lived, I suppose I will continue to deal with it until the two week point, at which time I would cut back. Too weird.
.
Last night, even after taking two doses in close proximity timewise, life was rather easy. I stayed up a little past that last post, with no problems. I did take the Tylenol, and there was a slight increase in pain until that kicked in. When I finally felt the (natural seeming) call to sleep, I headed on to bed. That was the most comfortable and natural sleep I have had since starting the stuff. I rolled as I should, the sleep was neither too shallow nor too deep. I did not sweat or burn. And I slept well in all manners. I tried to wake to be in Ogden, but I think that will need to be tomorrow. I am moving a bit slow and I am still a bit groggy.
It is so strange that a medicine can build to such a crescendo of suffering and then, even if it is just one time, be taken with zero side affects. I have had medicines where the effects vary, but none where they disappear in such a weird fashion. I will take it. It was becoming quite harsh. And, should this be short lived, I suppose I will continue to deal with it until the two week point, at which time I would cut back. Too weird.
That is odd.
.
.
I took my medicine just a bit ago. By this time, in the past, I was crawling off to bed even after just having awaken. My neck would have been aching, my headache would have manifest, and nausea and fever would also be plaguing me. Though I can feel it, inside, doing something, and while I am a little stiff about the neck and shoulders, the rest of the symptoms have not manifested themselves even in as minor of a way as that. I will take 1400 mgs of Tylenol, just as a safety precaution. I am not sure why it is not causing me any problems. I cannot quite, yet, say I have become accustomed to the stuff. I will simply enjoy one good dose. How weird is that?
I believe they were supposed to send me more medicine, a water pill. It has not arrived yet. It is one I used to use with Lisinopril. It worked well. I do not believe it had any added side effects. Then again, I do not remember Lisinopril being this bad. I was, and often, in bad shape in Iowa, so perhaps with being in bad shape already, I did not always connect all of the dots, worrying mainly about the drowsiness. I have always had flushes of heat, night sweats (which have lessened in frequency a great deal at this point), and some other things. Perhaps I thought the flushes caused by Lisinopril were just the old and did not correctly put it with that pill. Being in far superior shape, in mind, body, and spirit, perhaps I have become better able to both see the effects and overcome them. Yes, perhaps that is it. I certainly have been fighting the effects and my wish to quit the medicines.
If this becomes the norm, I have a fair chance at shaking my world up, taking care of all of my health concerns, and moving on in life. I am working, now, on quitting sugar and such, or 90% of it. I will still, every once in a while, have a few teaspoons in my coffee. Unless that still is too much. I need to get to the storage facility and look for my b.p. cup and glucose device. Oh, darn it, I need to get in for a blood draw! In my feverish sickness, I have slipped in tending that. Tomorrow, I guess, I will drive down and tend that. Then again, yesterday was the first day I was able to do more than sleep since I started the medicines for the most part.
In the past, taking this medicine regularly, I was not able to go to engineering school. It wiped out a year for me in Iowa, with my doctor (the better one actually) egging me to continue school, suggesting it would get better. At that time, it never did. I bombed out of school as I simply could not stay awake. So, this dosage tonight, gives me some hope. I sometimes wish I could turn a few pages in life to see a bit of the future, but that is not for us.
I am actually feeling downright frisky. I hope to lay down and try and sleep in an hour or so. Being frisky at 2:30 in the morning here is a no win game. Simply, there is nothing (or nothing I would want) to do in Logan or the surrounds at this time of day. Feeling frisky during the day light hours will lead me to more of what I have been doing and like to do. I need to sleep anyway, if I wish to drive to Ogden early enough to get the blood draw completed.
I just thought to post the positive after harping, whining, and complaining about the, if serious, side effects and the negative. The good with the bad, this blog is about life and life contains both. I am sure hoping I have hurdled the worst of it.
.
I took my medicine just a bit ago. By this time, in the past, I was crawling off to bed even after just having awaken. My neck would have been aching, my headache would have manifest, and nausea and fever would also be plaguing me. Though I can feel it, inside, doing something, and while I am a little stiff about the neck and shoulders, the rest of the symptoms have not manifested themselves even in as minor of a way as that. I will take 1400 mgs of Tylenol, just as a safety precaution. I am not sure why it is not causing me any problems. I cannot quite, yet, say I have become accustomed to the stuff. I will simply enjoy one good dose. How weird is that?
I believe they were supposed to send me more medicine, a water pill. It has not arrived yet. It is one I used to use with Lisinopril. It worked well. I do not believe it had any added side effects. Then again, I do not remember Lisinopril being this bad. I was, and often, in bad shape in Iowa, so perhaps with being in bad shape already, I did not always connect all of the dots, worrying mainly about the drowsiness. I have always had flushes of heat, night sweats (which have lessened in frequency a great deal at this point), and some other things. Perhaps I thought the flushes caused by Lisinopril were just the old and did not correctly put it with that pill. Being in far superior shape, in mind, body, and spirit, perhaps I have become better able to both see the effects and overcome them. Yes, perhaps that is it. I certainly have been fighting the effects and my wish to quit the medicines.
If this becomes the norm, I have a fair chance at shaking my world up, taking care of all of my health concerns, and moving on in life. I am working, now, on quitting sugar and such, or 90% of it. I will still, every once in a while, have a few teaspoons in my coffee. Unless that still is too much. I need to get to the storage facility and look for my b.p. cup and glucose device. Oh, darn it, I need to get in for a blood draw! In my feverish sickness, I have slipped in tending that. Tomorrow, I guess, I will drive down and tend that. Then again, yesterday was the first day I was able to do more than sleep since I started the medicines for the most part.
In the past, taking this medicine regularly, I was not able to go to engineering school. It wiped out a year for me in Iowa, with my doctor (the better one actually) egging me to continue school, suggesting it would get better. At that time, it never did. I bombed out of school as I simply could not stay awake. So, this dosage tonight, gives me some hope. I sometimes wish I could turn a few pages in life to see a bit of the future, but that is not for us.
I am actually feeling downright frisky. I hope to lay down and try and sleep in an hour or so. Being frisky at 2:30 in the morning here is a no win game. Simply, there is nothing (or nothing I would want) to do in Logan or the surrounds at this time of day. Feeling frisky during the day light hours will lead me to more of what I have been doing and like to do. I need to sleep anyway, if I wish to drive to Ogden early enough to get the blood draw completed.
I just thought to post the positive after harping, whining, and complaining about the, if serious, side effects and the negative. The good with the bad, this blog is about life and life contains both. I am sure hoping I have hurdled the worst of it.
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