Sunday, October 25, 2009
Saturday, October 24, 2009
Odd topics.
.
.
I used to despise hot dogs. I still do, as a general rule. And, it bothered me. Why? Because it is such a common social food. Hot dogs, hamburgers, potato salad, apple pie, and beer or cola seem to be very common social foods and beverages. To not like one of them is to almost be un-American. I knew this as a child, but I simply could not choke the things down. So, what does a guy do when afflicted by a dilemma of such proportions? Why, he begins experimenting.
The simple boiled version of the dog does not work for me. If the dog is cooked over a flame or in a pan until the skin is blackened, it is slightly more edible, yet still somewhat problematic especially if the interior is not cooked. What I did for hot dogs, something I do with brauts, is to boil it first to ensure a proper doneness, then cook it in a pan to leather the skin. Ah, I can finally enjoy a hot dog. If it should ever become known that an event requiring hot dogs to be eaten is to occur, what I will do is volunteer to bring the hot dogs. I will then boil them first, let them cool, and repackage them for the event.
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I have added a number of blogs which have been in my "I want on my blog" folder for some time. I had hoped to check these more often, to see if they fit with my way of thinking. However, being in a side file of a side file of a side file, they were being overlooked. I decided to add them and simply weed out what does not fit in time. There are others I am meaning to add, and I will get to them. I think they are on the broken computer, in that same file arrangement. Argh! On a day of nothingness there was something to do.
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I am curious regarding how other people re-organize their mind after a minor falling out. What works to get people motivated and back on track? How are the pieces fit back together? I have methods and techniques, but they are mostly passive and I do not have a clear idea about how they work. Whatever my illness really is, it plays a part in the fracturing of will, cohesiveness, and such as well, so when I get better it seems I do not actually need techniques. Still, it would be interesting to try actual conscious methods of reseeding a barren mindscape.
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Computer games and reading have been filling my days. Some research and a lot of blog hopping also fill in the gaps. I have been able to keep my days and nights straight, my sleep has been good, and this is all fine. I wonder what little craft or such would help fill the days. Mind you, it needs to be relatively inexpensive, masculine enough for the sniff test, and mild enough yet enjoyable enough to be practical. Knitting is not quite going to fit, nor will quilt making, sewing, needle work, or such. I am sure those are fine, I am sure some men enjoy those, they just would not work for me.
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I have found a number of sites regarding politicians. Troll is beginning a new activity based on politicians. However, I am finding it difficult to obtain originators of particular bills. I have found a site which offers information regarding bills, though quite often they seem to suggest half of whichever party is introducing the bill. What I am seeking is a place that offers up legislation or bills and directly gives the name of the author, first sponsor, or such. It would make shooting fish in the barrel a little less happenstance or random. Rather than go after a particular politician, I would rather go after legislation and the dimwit who wrote it.
So, if anyone has a link to such a site, I would be quite grateful if they would share it.
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I am hungry. I think I may attempt a quick step out of my door and a short drive somewhere for a fast take home dinner. Nothing fancy, my accounting has been an abysmal failure this month somehow. I am hungry enough at this point that I could almost eat a pine cone sandwich with a side of stainless steel bolts, if it is affordable, give or take.
.
I used to despise hot dogs. I still do, as a general rule. And, it bothered me. Why? Because it is such a common social food. Hot dogs, hamburgers, potato salad, apple pie, and beer or cola seem to be very common social foods and beverages. To not like one of them is to almost be un-American. I knew this as a child, but I simply could not choke the things down. So, what does a guy do when afflicted by a dilemma of such proportions? Why, he begins experimenting.
The simple boiled version of the dog does not work for me. If the dog is cooked over a flame or in a pan until the skin is blackened, it is slightly more edible, yet still somewhat problematic especially if the interior is not cooked. What I did for hot dogs, something I do with brauts, is to boil it first to ensure a proper doneness, then cook it in a pan to leather the skin. Ah, I can finally enjoy a hot dog. If it should ever become known that an event requiring hot dogs to be eaten is to occur, what I will do is volunteer to bring the hot dogs. I will then boil them first, let them cool, and repackage them for the event.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I have added a number of blogs which have been in my "I want on my blog" folder for some time. I had hoped to check these more often, to see if they fit with my way of thinking. However, being in a side file of a side file of a side file, they were being overlooked. I decided to add them and simply weed out what does not fit in time. There are others I am meaning to add, and I will get to them. I think they are on the broken computer, in that same file arrangement. Argh! On a day of nothingness there was something to do.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I am curious regarding how other people re-organize their mind after a minor falling out. What works to get people motivated and back on track? How are the pieces fit back together? I have methods and techniques, but they are mostly passive and I do not have a clear idea about how they work. Whatever my illness really is, it plays a part in the fracturing of will, cohesiveness, and such as well, so when I get better it seems I do not actually need techniques. Still, it would be interesting to try actual conscious methods of reseeding a barren mindscape.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Computer games and reading have been filling my days. Some research and a lot of blog hopping also fill in the gaps. I have been able to keep my days and nights straight, my sleep has been good, and this is all fine. I wonder what little craft or such would help fill the days. Mind you, it needs to be relatively inexpensive, masculine enough for the sniff test, and mild enough yet enjoyable enough to be practical. Knitting is not quite going to fit, nor will quilt making, sewing, needle work, or such. I am sure those are fine, I am sure some men enjoy those, they just would not work for me.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I have found a number of sites regarding politicians. Troll is beginning a new activity based on politicians. However, I am finding it difficult to obtain originators of particular bills. I have found a site which offers information regarding bills, though quite often they seem to suggest half of whichever party is introducing the bill. What I am seeking is a place that offers up legislation or bills and directly gives the name of the author, first sponsor, or such. It would make shooting fish in the barrel a little less happenstance or random. Rather than go after a particular politician, I would rather go after legislation and the dimwit who wrote it.
So, if anyone has a link to such a site, I would be quite grateful if they would share it.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I am hungry. I think I may attempt a quick step out of my door and a short drive somewhere for a fast take home dinner. Nothing fancy, my accounting has been an abysmal failure this month somehow. I am hungry enough at this point that I could almost eat a pine cone sandwich with a side of stainless steel bolts, if it is affordable, give or take.
As I sit here crippled.
.
.
I keep think about my situation. I know my body works. I can rise out of bed, I can make a little bit to eat and pour something to drink. My mind works in that I can manipulate a faucet to wash my face and hands. I can do simple mechanical operations such as brushing my teeth, cooking, and cleaning (though that last, in part due to masculine... something... I do poorly and more infrequently than I should like, only knowing the difference due to having had women in my life who have done much better at it). And more, I can read obscure texts with some reasonable level of understanding. G.K. Chesterton is probably not the first book I would hand a newly minted, even fully developed reader. And the bible, though I would encourage even children to read it, I would expect little more than that the bible would stretch every fiber of their ability to even understand the merest basics of what the words mean very generally.
Okay, so I am suggesting that I have a decent mind, a functional body, some ability to act toward long standing health, grooming, and standard goals. So, why I cannot simply pack things into a vehicle and drive them to a storage shed, or sort the storage shed, or even leave my door, I do not know. For the last two or three days, that is simply how it has been. Something is wrong. I do not know what it is. And yet, if someone called, and said, "Let us go shooting, or to coffee, or... [fill in the blank].", I would agree, ruminate and then shower over an half hour to an hour period, and be on my way. In an emergency (unless it involves myself) or time sensitive things, I can actually be showered, shaved (in my shaving season), teeth brushed (if they have not been already), dressed, and out the door in under 10 minutes. Although, too, if that happens too often I begin avoiding the phone or knock on the door, so it is not a perfect cure.
Now, what brings this all to mind is not my situation, actually, but the situation my brother now finds himself in. He recently needed emergency back surgery. He loaded airplanes in the service for 20 years and hurt his back severely doing so. Though I suspect high school wrestling played a part in that. Back then, maybe still, they would starve themselves, or even go without water for a day or two before the pre-match weigh-in. That has to be damaging to the body of non-mature males. Though too, the long hours and hard work he did was no boon to his skeletal structure either. He was a hard worker from the day he popped out of the womb. He did not whine, complain, or slack. He was the type that, handed an impossible job, would do the miraculous at great personal cost. Bless him for it, he is the type this nation was built upon.
He will most likely be upgraded from 50% to 100% V.A. disability, and probably end up receiving SSD as well. However, and he will find out soon enough, money is nothing when one cannot get out of bed on any particular day. At least for him, people can point to an easy to understand problem and have sympathy. It is not ghosts or ghouls that haunt his life, but a bad back. Though, in truth, that means little either. People eschew, and rightly to a degree, sickness or ill health of any kind. Those who have problems are a weak link. Most people, whether they recognize it or not, are quite tribal. Weak links need not apply. As well, in a less God fearing more supperstitious nation, disability is often subconsciously feared to be contagious. He will learn this. Society has little use for the weak or broken.
I had to ask myself if I had any pleasure in his condition. No, not that such a notion was sitting out on a shelf and easy for me to see or to lay my hands on it. I simply wanted to... sweep the baffles to be sure. You see, we are no longer friends, one might say we are no longer brothers. I did look, and deeply. What I found is that I have no such pleasure at his pain, thankfully. I have no spite in me. If I have something, it is only that he might now learn to understand what my situation is like, though too I would have more hoped that the situation was temporary for him. I honestly would not wish this on an enemy, and a fallen away brother is not an enemy by a long shot. He is merely one more of the many who used to be in my life and no longer exists for me, or with me, or however one might put it.
There is much I could say to him. I think my first suggestion would be to listen to the doctors, take their suggestions and do some homework, and find out mechanically (in his case) how far he can push things. Then, from that maximum, back off a good bit and find out what he can do practically in a sustainable manner and try to hold to that. Doctors are a starting point but they are theory. He needs to take theory and make that practical, personally. I would also suggest pushing a little farther once in a while to test the limits, softly but surely, once he has become stable and has stability down pat. Next I would suggest he find hobbies, crafts, and possibly work which can fill both good and bad times. If he likes to fish, which he does, as an example, then by all means go fishing when he is up to it. When he is not up to it, learn to craft lures. Get a collection of lure parts, paints, glues, and hooks and use that to satisfy his fishing urge when his back does not let him manually partake of the sport. But no one hobby, craft, or such will fill all his time. And, money (even as decent as that is) is a lot shorter than time. Slowly building up several crafts and interests will help him a great deal. And, if he can work at all, even as a welcome man at Wal-Mart, it would add a little bit of money, keep him on some kind of schedule, and get him groomed, dressed, and out of the house occassionally, and around people. The one problem with working is that he may truly only be fit for low level work and yet that may cost him more than he could possibly earn. That is how it is in my case, or to my knowledge thus far. And I would highly disuade anyone from working under the table for a few nickels to risk a truly needed standard of living income.
Being around people is something I miss and something that missing has hurt me. I am sort of socially retarded at this point. I am not sure how to interact and quite self-conscious or conversely completely unaware of the lines people are trying to draw and popular decorum. I fly blind when in groups, which adds to the stress of being among people. Most people are used to being social, if for no other reason than from the requirements to feed themselves through work, so as to keep private things private, to maintain certain shields, and to pick up cues as to when a topic is considered out of bounds. Though, how much of that is typically male, I am never sure either. Still, I would highly recommend he at least find other men with whom to laugh, debate, fish, golf, or simply watch sports. Though I would recommend against groups and associations which drink regularly or as a part of every encounter. Alcohol, though a fine substance for occasional cheer, enhancing some days, or as salve for a particularly bad day, is not something someone with a lot of time should be entertaining too regularly. Worse yet is creating associations based first on alcohol. Too much time and relatively easy money do not mix well with occasional use.
Though, part of my failure to associate more freely has to do with a past I cannot completely recall, or recall in a fractured and ugly way which may be too much for others to deal with, and some secret parts of my life which either might leak out and dissolve friendships or which might leak out and hurt those friends I have. Friendships are not trivial things. My ghosts are toxic to all, more so in the conservative settings I choose to live. Then again, I found it to be worse in "liberal" places, so who knows. I do know I must take care in developing friendships. Associations are by far the wiser path for me. I would guess most disabled do not have the depth of stigma that I carry, so my advice is generally good.
Of course, the man will not even shake my hand. So, any advice I might offer is less than useless to him. Perhaps it will find some other man or woman who might find use for it. In any case, I am able to put it out of my mind. I did this earlier, but not to this level. Perhaps I only mentioned that it was on my mind. Now I am done with it. What else is there for a cripple to do on an off day? Clearing the mind so that when the body works again, it will work without these mental catches. No, that is not even true. But cleaning the mind and caring for mental worries is something good and useful to do on these days. I will always have other psychic catches whether my body does my will or not. And, actually, gladly. I like to ponder.
Have a great day!
.
I keep think about my situation. I know my body works. I can rise out of bed, I can make a little bit to eat and pour something to drink. My mind works in that I can manipulate a faucet to wash my face and hands. I can do simple mechanical operations such as brushing my teeth, cooking, and cleaning (though that last, in part due to masculine... something... I do poorly and more infrequently than I should like, only knowing the difference due to having had women in my life who have done much better at it). And more, I can read obscure texts with some reasonable level of understanding. G.K. Chesterton is probably not the first book I would hand a newly minted, even fully developed reader. And the bible, though I would encourage even children to read it, I would expect little more than that the bible would stretch every fiber of their ability to even understand the merest basics of what the words mean very generally.
Okay, so I am suggesting that I have a decent mind, a functional body, some ability to act toward long standing health, grooming, and standard goals. So, why I cannot simply pack things into a vehicle and drive them to a storage shed, or sort the storage shed, or even leave my door, I do not know. For the last two or three days, that is simply how it has been. Something is wrong. I do not know what it is. And yet, if someone called, and said, "Let us go shooting, or to coffee, or... [fill in the blank].", I would agree, ruminate and then shower over an half hour to an hour period, and be on my way. In an emergency (unless it involves myself) or time sensitive things, I can actually be showered, shaved (in my shaving season), teeth brushed (if they have not been already), dressed, and out the door in under 10 minutes. Although, too, if that happens too often I begin avoiding the phone or knock on the door, so it is not a perfect cure.
Now, what brings this all to mind is not my situation, actually, but the situation my brother now finds himself in. He recently needed emergency back surgery. He loaded airplanes in the service for 20 years and hurt his back severely doing so. Though I suspect high school wrestling played a part in that. Back then, maybe still, they would starve themselves, or even go without water for a day or two before the pre-match weigh-in. That has to be damaging to the body of non-mature males. Though too, the long hours and hard work he did was no boon to his skeletal structure either. He was a hard worker from the day he popped out of the womb. He did not whine, complain, or slack. He was the type that, handed an impossible job, would do the miraculous at great personal cost. Bless him for it, he is the type this nation was built upon.
He will most likely be upgraded from 50% to 100% V.A. disability, and probably end up receiving SSD as well. However, and he will find out soon enough, money is nothing when one cannot get out of bed on any particular day. At least for him, people can point to an easy to understand problem and have sympathy. It is not ghosts or ghouls that haunt his life, but a bad back. Though, in truth, that means little either. People eschew, and rightly to a degree, sickness or ill health of any kind. Those who have problems are a weak link. Most people, whether they recognize it or not, are quite tribal. Weak links need not apply. As well, in a less God fearing more supperstitious nation, disability is often subconsciously feared to be contagious. He will learn this. Society has little use for the weak or broken.
I had to ask myself if I had any pleasure in his condition. No, not that such a notion was sitting out on a shelf and easy for me to see or to lay my hands on it. I simply wanted to... sweep the baffles to be sure. You see, we are no longer friends, one might say we are no longer brothers. I did look, and deeply. What I found is that I have no such pleasure at his pain, thankfully. I have no spite in me. If I have something, it is only that he might now learn to understand what my situation is like, though too I would have more hoped that the situation was temporary for him. I honestly would not wish this on an enemy, and a fallen away brother is not an enemy by a long shot. He is merely one more of the many who used to be in my life and no longer exists for me, or with me, or however one might put it.
There is much I could say to him. I think my first suggestion would be to listen to the doctors, take their suggestions and do some homework, and find out mechanically (in his case) how far he can push things. Then, from that maximum, back off a good bit and find out what he can do practically in a sustainable manner and try to hold to that. Doctors are a starting point but they are theory. He needs to take theory and make that practical, personally. I would also suggest pushing a little farther once in a while to test the limits, softly but surely, once he has become stable and has stability down pat. Next I would suggest he find hobbies, crafts, and possibly work which can fill both good and bad times. If he likes to fish, which he does, as an example, then by all means go fishing when he is up to it. When he is not up to it, learn to craft lures. Get a collection of lure parts, paints, glues, and hooks and use that to satisfy his fishing urge when his back does not let him manually partake of the sport. But no one hobby, craft, or such will fill all his time. And, money (even as decent as that is) is a lot shorter than time. Slowly building up several crafts and interests will help him a great deal. And, if he can work at all, even as a welcome man at Wal-Mart, it would add a little bit of money, keep him on some kind of schedule, and get him groomed, dressed, and out of the house occassionally, and around people. The one problem with working is that he may truly only be fit for low level work and yet that may cost him more than he could possibly earn. That is how it is in my case, or to my knowledge thus far. And I would highly disuade anyone from working under the table for a few nickels to risk a truly needed standard of living income.
Being around people is something I miss and something that missing has hurt me. I am sort of socially retarded at this point. I am not sure how to interact and quite self-conscious or conversely completely unaware of the lines people are trying to draw and popular decorum. I fly blind when in groups, which adds to the stress of being among people. Most people are used to being social, if for no other reason than from the requirements to feed themselves through work, so as to keep private things private, to maintain certain shields, and to pick up cues as to when a topic is considered out of bounds. Though, how much of that is typically male, I am never sure either. Still, I would highly recommend he at least find other men with whom to laugh, debate, fish, golf, or simply watch sports. Though I would recommend against groups and associations which drink regularly or as a part of every encounter. Alcohol, though a fine substance for occasional cheer, enhancing some days, or as salve for a particularly bad day, is not something someone with a lot of time should be entertaining too regularly. Worse yet is creating associations based first on alcohol. Too much time and relatively easy money do not mix well with occasional use.
Though, part of my failure to associate more freely has to do with a past I cannot completely recall, or recall in a fractured and ugly way which may be too much for others to deal with, and some secret parts of my life which either might leak out and dissolve friendships or which might leak out and hurt those friends I have. Friendships are not trivial things. My ghosts are toxic to all, more so in the conservative settings I choose to live. Then again, I found it to be worse in "liberal" places, so who knows. I do know I must take care in developing friendships. Associations are by far the wiser path for me. I would guess most disabled do not have the depth of stigma that I carry, so my advice is generally good.
Of course, the man will not even shake my hand. So, any advice I might offer is less than useless to him. Perhaps it will find some other man or woman who might find use for it. In any case, I am able to put it out of my mind. I did this earlier, but not to this level. Perhaps I only mentioned that it was on my mind. Now I am done with it. What else is there for a cripple to do on an off day? Clearing the mind so that when the body works again, it will work without these mental catches. No, that is not even true. But cleaning the mind and caring for mental worries is something good and useful to do on these days. I will always have other psychic catches whether my body does my will or not. And, actually, gladly. I like to ponder.
Have a great day!
Friday, October 23, 2009
Cheers to G.K. Chesterton!
.
.
I cannot always say I fully fathom everything the man says. Simply, he is beyond me. What I do, however, is put some parts of my mind into suspended animation and simply allow what parts of my mind do function well with his work to do their jobs. Then again, how much of what I just wrote do you truly understand? Just saying. In spite of having no clue, once I relinquish the demand for control, or surety, or... something... I am able to find myself in very familiar territory. Do not ask, I do not know how.
The reading becomes a one-way conversation. It is if I have asked a friend with some basis in wisdom some profound question, and after some days and thought, he has responded. I have assured him no interruption on my part and so dutifully stifle my tongue. The beautiful part about reading as such is two fold. First, in spite of my nature, due to the fact that it is indeed a reading, I can keep my promise regarding a stifled tongue. Secondly, though not lastly, I may return instantly to what was just "said", and linger there for long moments to attempt understanding or merely enjoy the moment for longer than what would be possible otherwise.
I will not say he is a funny man. I will shout it! Just when my eyes are about the cross he throws a chalkboard eraser between my eyes. Oh I laugh. Not, perhaps, on the outside. There are those occasional chuckles. But inside, I roar like a lion at the mouse that frightened off the elephant off ground upon which it was encroaching because I frightened the mouse in my fear. Yes, I really do. I laugh until my mind is nervous that I have lost what it is, a sensible thing. His writing is alive and full and pleasing in ways I have not known for some time. It is good to be reading again. The most recent and most obvious hilarity was his treatment of Tolstoy (another favorite author). "If Tolstoy cannot admire marriage, at least he is healthy enough to admire mud." *Roars!* Maybe it is just me though I would truly hope not. The book, so far, is full of this.
I have found that in spite of little familiarity with many of the writers or thinkers with whom he debates or discusses, between his solid descriptions and my not so mild understanding and reading of the writers who came from those, I rarely find myself lost, or lost for long. This book may take a second reading, the first reading will simply align my understandings so that being lost would be less of an issue so that I might entertain his train of thought more fully. Perhaps a third reading if necessary. It depends on how long I might stay interested, and in this I think he might fully support only two readings.
Oh, I know. Most wish to be entertained without having to think. Well, he does that. I do not think, not fully, as I have already admitted. If you, dear reader, ever wish to descend into sanity, give this author a whirl. No, not one line, not one paragraph, but several chapters. I think you will find yourself involved, and perhaps in love. There is nothing more divine than eating chocolate out of a book or hunting in your own back yard, give or take.
Are you still here? Hush, go, read!
Blessings. May your wounds be tended, your heart be full, and a pot of beans always be warm on your stove. I only wish one person actually enjoyed what I just wrote. Or, could even read it in it's simplicity, or would that be complexity? I promise, I do my very best to be simple. *shrug*
Update:
When I suggested I wish I knew one person who understood what I wrote, I was discussing someone locally. Someone to talk about such things. My guess is most of the people who read here might well be beyond my capacity to discuss certain things. Further, I probably do not have the capacity to regularly meet with such a person or persons. It is just a notion... What if...
.
I cannot always say I fully fathom everything the man says. Simply, he is beyond me. What I do, however, is put some parts of my mind into suspended animation and simply allow what parts of my mind do function well with his work to do their jobs. Then again, how much of what I just wrote do you truly understand? Just saying. In spite of having no clue, once I relinquish the demand for control, or surety, or... something... I am able to find myself in very familiar territory. Do not ask, I do not know how.
The reading becomes a one-way conversation. It is if I have asked a friend with some basis in wisdom some profound question, and after some days and thought, he has responded. I have assured him no interruption on my part and so dutifully stifle my tongue. The beautiful part about reading as such is two fold. First, in spite of my nature, due to the fact that it is indeed a reading, I can keep my promise regarding a stifled tongue. Secondly, though not lastly, I may return instantly to what was just "said", and linger there for long moments to attempt understanding or merely enjoy the moment for longer than what would be possible otherwise.
I will not say he is a funny man. I will shout it! Just when my eyes are about the cross he throws a chalkboard eraser between my eyes. Oh I laugh. Not, perhaps, on the outside. There are those occasional chuckles. But inside, I roar like a lion at the mouse that frightened off the elephant off ground upon which it was encroaching because I frightened the mouse in my fear. Yes, I really do. I laugh until my mind is nervous that I have lost what it is, a sensible thing. His writing is alive and full and pleasing in ways I have not known for some time. It is good to be reading again. The most recent and most obvious hilarity was his treatment of Tolstoy (another favorite author). "If Tolstoy cannot admire marriage, at least he is healthy enough to admire mud." *Roars!* Maybe it is just me though I would truly hope not. The book, so far, is full of this.
I have found that in spite of little familiarity with many of the writers or thinkers with whom he debates or discusses, between his solid descriptions and my not so mild understanding and reading of the writers who came from those, I rarely find myself lost, or lost for long. This book may take a second reading, the first reading will simply align my understandings so that being lost would be less of an issue so that I might entertain his train of thought more fully. Perhaps a third reading if necessary. It depends on how long I might stay interested, and in this I think he might fully support only two readings.
Oh, I know. Most wish to be entertained without having to think. Well, he does that. I do not think, not fully, as I have already admitted. If you, dear reader, ever wish to descend into sanity, give this author a whirl. No, not one line, not one paragraph, but several chapters. I think you will find yourself involved, and perhaps in love. There is nothing more divine than eating chocolate out of a book or hunting in your own back yard, give or take.
Are you still here? Hush, go, read!
Blessings. May your wounds be tended, your heart be full, and a pot of beans always be warm on your stove. I only wish one person actually enjoyed what I just wrote. Or, could even read it in it's simplicity, or would that be complexity? I promise, I do my very best to be simple. *shrug*
Update:
When I suggested I wish I knew one person who understood what I wrote, I was discussing someone locally. Someone to talk about such things. My guess is most of the people who read here might well be beyond my capacity to discuss certain things. Further, I probably do not have the capacity to regularly meet with such a person or persons. It is just a notion... What if...
Not what had been hoped.
.
.
Some things were done yesterday. Nothing like what had been planned. I simply had no juice. Early on it looked like I could do it, it just did not work out that way. Today is another chance. I did stay up late enough. When I woke this morning, I thought I had overslept to 8:30, but it was actually 6:00. I am never sure if morning mistakes are due to dreaming or just not being awake enough to figure things out right, but they can be sort of a little fun jab at the human condition which allow me an early chuckle. And yeah, I like those.
I started reading "Heretic" by G.K. Chesterton last night. Now, if you have never read Chesterton, as I have not, the initial contact is a bit rough. From his writing style to other aspects of whatever cause, it is rather difficult to get an initial grip on his work. Oh, and he is English, very English. So English that I do not think he understands English (our English). If you are used to finer teas, try the favored brands of British tea sometime to get a literal taste of what I mean. No, not putting him or their tea down, merely noting this. Further, he wrote this book in 1905 with this copy being a copy of the final edition, published in 1919. I can never be sure which complication to reading, the author's style and nature, the time period, or his nationality is at the root of occasional befuddlement. I only know it can be rather confusing.
In spite of one of us not quite reading or writing English just so, the material does clarify itself, oddly. It might be akin to putting very wet mud through a filter system that finishes with very good drinking water. That is no mean feet. I am not exactly an English major if too I am not a simpleton. Still, I was impressed by how he did that. A literary hat trick. My guess is that half of the people who pick up the book read a few lines or pages then drop it off at the nearest place they can find and, if technically required to read it, simply by a dumbed down version. People often do that with Shakespeare as well. At least having read Shakespeare (and enjoyed it a bit), I can at least see that. Shakespeare is nowhere near as well defined as Chesterton (so far, admittedly, and I did most of my Shakespeare reading as a rather young lad so there is room for debate, lots of room). I read as I was going to bed. I had to almost force my eyes open to read the last two chapters. And it was still clear, as was my interest. It was merely my body that was ready to sleep.
Why begin with "Heretic"? Well, I have seen three places recently where "Orthodox" by G.K. Chesterton was prescribed as reading. After having done a little research, I found that "Orthodox" was actually the second part in a series. If not literally, it was written in response to "Heretic". "Heretic" is a book lamenting modernism, or describing what is wrong with modern thought, philosophy, or such. What it did not contain was what the author thought was good and what should be or could be contemplated positively. Therefore "Orthodoxy" was born. Now, how accurate all this is, I cannot say. I have read a mere fraction of the book. Further, I am ignorant of the authors who he discusses other than their names. However, I do believe what I am seeing so far is precisely what is described. So, rather than start with a book which is recommended but was produced as a result of a previous work, I decided to start from the start. Foolish, perhaps, but I like things just so. If I obtain knowledge through research, I then naturally order things according to my ways. That, in a nutshell the size of Manhattan, is why.
All of my Chesterton books have arrived. None of the T.S. Elliot series or collections are here yet. I suspect that between work (when I can do it), my ongoing reading of the bible, and the reading of one (or maybe two) books if Elliot's books arrives, will see me to better standing in no time. If I figure out how to get into college, it would not be a bad thing to keep these reading habbits in line as well then too. It is about time I got back on the reading train.
Well, a bit of tinkering, a little breakfast, and maybe a load to the storage and laundry if the place is not packed. Ah, and a book will go with me. Last laundry it was the bible, this time I think Chesterton will accompany me, in his slimmer form. I have to wonder what a conversation with him would have been like. Samuel L. Clemens is another author with whom I might, or might not, have enjoyed conversing. But those two interest me the most, as perhaps having personality to go along with their writing. Though I am guessing they were a bit moody too, among other things. Though I really have no room for criticism in this arena. Hmph!
Have a great day!
.
Some things were done yesterday. Nothing like what had been planned. I simply had no juice. Early on it looked like I could do it, it just did not work out that way. Today is another chance. I did stay up late enough. When I woke this morning, I thought I had overslept to 8:30, but it was actually 6:00. I am never sure if morning mistakes are due to dreaming or just not being awake enough to figure things out right, but they can be sort of a little fun jab at the human condition which allow me an early chuckle. And yeah, I like those.
I started reading "Heretic" by G.K. Chesterton last night. Now, if you have never read Chesterton, as I have not, the initial contact is a bit rough. From his writing style to other aspects of whatever cause, it is rather difficult to get an initial grip on his work. Oh, and he is English, very English. So English that I do not think he understands English (our English). If you are used to finer teas, try the favored brands of British tea sometime to get a literal taste of what I mean. No, not putting him or their tea down, merely noting this. Further, he wrote this book in 1905 with this copy being a copy of the final edition, published in 1919. I can never be sure which complication to reading, the author's style and nature, the time period, or his nationality is at the root of occasional befuddlement. I only know it can be rather confusing.
In spite of one of us not quite reading or writing English just so, the material does clarify itself, oddly. It might be akin to putting very wet mud through a filter system that finishes with very good drinking water. That is no mean feet. I am not exactly an English major if too I am not a simpleton. Still, I was impressed by how he did that. A literary hat trick. My guess is that half of the people who pick up the book read a few lines or pages then drop it off at the nearest place they can find and, if technically required to read it, simply by a dumbed down version. People often do that with Shakespeare as well. At least having read Shakespeare (and enjoyed it a bit), I can at least see that. Shakespeare is nowhere near as well defined as Chesterton (so far, admittedly, and I did most of my Shakespeare reading as a rather young lad so there is room for debate, lots of room). I read as I was going to bed. I had to almost force my eyes open to read the last two chapters. And it was still clear, as was my interest. It was merely my body that was ready to sleep.
Why begin with "Heretic"? Well, I have seen three places recently where "Orthodox" by G.K. Chesterton was prescribed as reading. After having done a little research, I found that "Orthodox" was actually the second part in a series. If not literally, it was written in response to "Heretic". "Heretic" is a book lamenting modernism, or describing what is wrong with modern thought, philosophy, or such. What it did not contain was what the author thought was good and what should be or could be contemplated positively. Therefore "Orthodoxy" was born. Now, how accurate all this is, I cannot say. I have read a mere fraction of the book. Further, I am ignorant of the authors who he discusses other than their names. However, I do believe what I am seeing so far is precisely what is described. So, rather than start with a book which is recommended but was produced as a result of a previous work, I decided to start from the start. Foolish, perhaps, but I like things just so. If I obtain knowledge through research, I then naturally order things according to my ways. That, in a nutshell the size of Manhattan, is why.
All of my Chesterton books have arrived. None of the T.S. Elliot series or collections are here yet. I suspect that between work (when I can do it), my ongoing reading of the bible, and the reading of one (or maybe two) books if Elliot's books arrives, will see me to better standing in no time. If I figure out how to get into college, it would not be a bad thing to keep these reading habbits in line as well then too. It is about time I got back on the reading train.
Well, a bit of tinkering, a little breakfast, and maybe a load to the storage and laundry if the place is not packed. Ah, and a book will go with me. Last laundry it was the bible, this time I think Chesterton will accompany me, in his slimmer form. I have to wonder what a conversation with him would have been like. Samuel L. Clemens is another author with whom I might, or might not, have enjoyed conversing. But those two interest me the most, as perhaps having personality to go along with their writing. Though I am guessing they were a bit moody too, among other things. Though I really have no room for criticism in this arena. Hmph!
Have a great day!
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Excellent, another day starts.
.
.
Just like clockwork again. I woke at 7:30 and out of bed I am, Sam. It has not been the alarm getting me up. I do have it set, today as yesterday, but not to go off until 9:30. I simply wake up for no reason that I can tell. It is neither too warm or too cool. I do not need to use the facilities. I do not think I have heard any noise. I simply finish sleeping. I wish I could do this every day. I do enjoy what is happening though and will attempt to continue it.
I know, the last post was a bit grim. A night of rest and some rethinking has changed that not a whit. Then again, if you do believe there is an end time, I simply ask you to tell me what the difference is? Although I will not say definitively these are those times, if these times may bear similarities. Many Christians think we will simply be taken up to heaven before it gets bad. If that were true, I would need significant clarifications regarding some rather suggestive passages in the bible against that. Further, history has seen the end of many civilizations without those being end times, as I have said before. But, never to worry. The thing is to focus on living rightly and with God. The rest is what it is.
Something I will strongly suggest is that people prepare the way a bit. Here is a link which would easily help anyone begin storing food. Food storage, even a three month storage system, is not as complicated or expensive as it seems. And, it would see you through a minor failing and resorting of any small economic crisis. The most dangerous event from such a possibility is not that you will not be able to pay rent, get gas, or your utilities (which will, most likely, see a wholesale (hopefully temporarily) takeover by the government), unless it truly bottoms out. Even in a worst case scenario, the main problem will be starving people.
People see pictures of starving children in Africa. They think, how sad. And, rightly, but they miss the whole picture, the big picture, and pictures not shown anywhere. What those starving people will do for food is inhuman. How much cannibalism is not shown? How much crime occurs to obtain a crust of bread? How many of the wars that perpetuate the starvation cycle are borne on the wings of simple hunger? It would be no different here. I know, myself, that my own body has great potential in the simple need for survival of overtaking my will. Most people have never been pushed that far. They have never lost control due to need or rational/irrational motives. Do not put yourself in a position to be weaponized by your own hunger, thirst, or environmental factors. That is what zombie stories are about.
In the short and long term, being near family, friends, and such seems like a good plan. However, if they are not prepared the idea becomes more of a preparation to become part of a tribe which will be criminal as a group than it is for actual preparation. I know, that is a rough thing to hear. But any such situation where no preparation is undertaken but people group by association, that group will merely be using it's numbers to take whatever they can get for the clan from whoever has it. There are some groups with whom association might be wise. There are people and peoples who do, as groups, prepare. A network of other people who store foods, living in an area that has production capacity and know-how, and such. But moving is not available to all.
In the end, there will be just you and whoever. You will not be able to count on the police, short and maybe long term. Prepare for that as well. Are you ready to be your own law enforcement? Do you know what you will be facing? Are you really sure pacifism is the right idea and are you truly devoted to it enough to take whatever it will really bring? Simple questions, simple answers. Do not overcomplicate it. As I have discussed, there are many people who have never seen the options. They think what they do today, which has never been tested in absolutes, they can and will do tomorrow. They also think the 24/7 stores will also always be there. And, of course, they simply know their native wits will see them through. All of that is false.
Bit by bit I am aligning my stars to a more favorable outcome. As a cripple, I have moved thousands of miles. I am sorting data in preparation for the purchase and maintenance of food storage, seeds, meat, living arrangements, self defense, and sustainable long term survival. From the vehicle I drive to where I live to the clothes I have available to what I keep for hunting and persona firearms, I have changed my life in seemingly miraculous ways. But it was not overnight and I am nowhere close to ready. If nothing else, that these things are on my mind, I am already more prepared than many.
Today is a new day and looks to be a good one. A few more loads to storage, laundry, and some final work in the apartment should see me in a happy place. I did stop by the laundromat yesterday but the place was packed. Hopefully I will find a better time today. I did not get a chance to do target practice either. Bit by bit, the chores and tasks are being done.
If I do well today, a hike is in order tomorrow. From my new understanding, my first hike will be about 7 miles total, not one way. And, with a day to do it and if the weather is at all decent, it should be a simple pleasure. Further, if Saturday is similar, or definitely if Friday fails but Saturday has better weather, I may find another path Saturday. Well, depending on my ability after a potential hike Friday. Who knows, maybe I will be too tired and cranky, body wise.
Although I thought I would be a bit cranky after hauling weights and a bunch of boxes several times this week. My body is good, no aches, no pains, though maybe since I did not wound myself this time, it is different. Fitting everything in is going to be tricky. I may need to reconfigure the storage space a bit before I attempt to install load 4.0. It is weird how well tuned my body is considering I do nothing but dream for such long stretches of time. Well, that and write here, and tinker, both while sitting in a stupid chair. Foolishness!
Well, darn it, I better get to tinkering a bit to wake up a little. Heat does not hurt, so a 'log on the fire' might be nice. It gets the muscles ready for a bit of lifting and helps blood flow to the brain, it does!
Have a great day!
.
Just like clockwork again. I woke at 7:30 and out of bed I am, Sam. It has not been the alarm getting me up. I do have it set, today as yesterday, but not to go off until 9:30. I simply wake up for no reason that I can tell. It is neither too warm or too cool. I do not need to use the facilities. I do not think I have heard any noise. I simply finish sleeping. I wish I could do this every day. I do enjoy what is happening though and will attempt to continue it.
I know, the last post was a bit grim. A night of rest and some rethinking has changed that not a whit. Then again, if you do believe there is an end time, I simply ask you to tell me what the difference is? Although I will not say definitively these are those times, if these times may bear similarities. Many Christians think we will simply be taken up to heaven before it gets bad. If that were true, I would need significant clarifications regarding some rather suggestive passages in the bible against that. Further, history has seen the end of many civilizations without those being end times, as I have said before. But, never to worry. The thing is to focus on living rightly and with God. The rest is what it is.
Something I will strongly suggest is that people prepare the way a bit. Here is a link which would easily help anyone begin storing food. Food storage, even a three month storage system, is not as complicated or expensive as it seems. And, it would see you through a minor failing and resorting of any small economic crisis. The most dangerous event from such a possibility is not that you will not be able to pay rent, get gas, or your utilities (which will, most likely, see a wholesale (hopefully temporarily) takeover by the government), unless it truly bottoms out. Even in a worst case scenario, the main problem will be starving people.
People see pictures of starving children in Africa. They think, how sad. And, rightly, but they miss the whole picture, the big picture, and pictures not shown anywhere. What those starving people will do for food is inhuman. How much cannibalism is not shown? How much crime occurs to obtain a crust of bread? How many of the wars that perpetuate the starvation cycle are borne on the wings of simple hunger? It would be no different here. I know, myself, that my own body has great potential in the simple need for survival of overtaking my will. Most people have never been pushed that far. They have never lost control due to need or rational/irrational motives. Do not put yourself in a position to be weaponized by your own hunger, thirst, or environmental factors. That is what zombie stories are about.
In the short and long term, being near family, friends, and such seems like a good plan. However, if they are not prepared the idea becomes more of a preparation to become part of a tribe which will be criminal as a group than it is for actual preparation. I know, that is a rough thing to hear. But any such situation where no preparation is undertaken but people group by association, that group will merely be using it's numbers to take whatever they can get for the clan from whoever has it. There are some groups with whom association might be wise. There are people and peoples who do, as groups, prepare. A network of other people who store foods, living in an area that has production capacity and know-how, and such. But moving is not available to all.
In the end, there will be just you and whoever. You will not be able to count on the police, short and maybe long term. Prepare for that as well. Are you ready to be your own law enforcement? Do you know what you will be facing? Are you really sure pacifism is the right idea and are you truly devoted to it enough to take whatever it will really bring? Simple questions, simple answers. Do not overcomplicate it. As I have discussed, there are many people who have never seen the options. They think what they do today, which has never been tested in absolutes, they can and will do tomorrow. They also think the 24/7 stores will also always be there. And, of course, they simply know their native wits will see them through. All of that is false.
Bit by bit I am aligning my stars to a more favorable outcome. As a cripple, I have moved thousands of miles. I am sorting data in preparation for the purchase and maintenance of food storage, seeds, meat, living arrangements, self defense, and sustainable long term survival. From the vehicle I drive to where I live to the clothes I have available to what I keep for hunting and persona firearms, I have changed my life in seemingly miraculous ways. But it was not overnight and I am nowhere close to ready. If nothing else, that these things are on my mind, I am already more prepared than many.
Today is a new day and looks to be a good one. A few more loads to storage, laundry, and some final work in the apartment should see me in a happy place. I did stop by the laundromat yesterday but the place was packed. Hopefully I will find a better time today. I did not get a chance to do target practice either. Bit by bit, the chores and tasks are being done.
If I do well today, a hike is in order tomorrow. From my new understanding, my first hike will be about 7 miles total, not one way. And, with a day to do it and if the weather is at all decent, it should be a simple pleasure. Further, if Saturday is similar, or definitely if Friday fails but Saturday has better weather, I may find another path Saturday. Well, depending on my ability after a potential hike Friday. Who knows, maybe I will be too tired and cranky, body wise.
Although I thought I would be a bit cranky after hauling weights and a bunch of boxes several times this week. My body is good, no aches, no pains, though maybe since I did not wound myself this time, it is different. Fitting everything in is going to be tricky. I may need to reconfigure the storage space a bit before I attempt to install load 4.0. It is weird how well tuned my body is considering I do nothing but dream for such long stretches of time. Well, that and write here, and tinker, both while sitting in a stupid chair. Foolishness!
Well, darn it, I better get to tinkering a bit to wake up a little. Heat does not hurt, so a 'log on the fire' might be nice. It gets the muscles ready for a bit of lifting and helps blood flow to the brain, it does!
Have a great day!
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
The world is turning a bit bitter.
.
.
No, my day and life is moving along. I am doing the little chores, and enjoying the work actually. This is not about me, oddly. (/snark) From this blog to that, from this email to that, I am seeing signs that more and more people are realizing we are in serious trouble economically and serious jeopardy civilly. Social deterioration is a foregone conclusion. But the lapses in government and financial surety are profoundly evident wherever one looks. Is it time to be looking for cover? Is it too late?
I do not know anything with any certainty. I do believe the clock is not just ticking, it is timing down. I do not what happens when the clock stops ticking. I do know most people will be terribly surprised. I am not speaking of us, typical citizens. I am talking about the elites. Worse than us, they really have no more idea of what is happening, when it will happen, what to do when it happens, or how to stop it. And more, they appear more like a bunch of school kids trying to draw cartoonish solutions to things they simply never evolved to a place or mind capactiy to solve. What is worse is the notion that they can buy or bribe their way to a better portion when it happens. The people they are trying to bribe are in more trouble than any one else. It is like trying to pay the reaper for enough time for one more cigarrete or something. It simply will not work.
How bad it gets and how fast it gets there depends upon where you live. Who you really know around where you live. What skills or ability you have and can offer. And to some extent what you have that could be useful to those around you. Being a senator might get you shot on sight. Having been a CEO of a major banking interest might get you tarred and feathered. Hiding will only work for just so long. If you live in a city, the police are going to be looking after their own. Out a bit further, in decent society, there is a chance at some semblance of normalcy. In the country you risk being isolated and an easy mark.
If that fails, then we risk socialist totalinarianism or worse. If those in power can convince the military and civilian law enforcement to throw in their lot with them, that is indeed what we face. These are not the right people to be in power at this time. I would argue they are the wrong people at any time.
I am seeing the signs everywhere. And to be honest, not just on the web. I am seeing signs of it among people I have met in real life. People know a major shift, change, down grade to their way of living is just around the corner. Some are living it up, most are changing everything from what is on their menu to how they view others and on into defensive or survival needs.
Ah, maybe it will all blow over. Perhaps it is all just another day which will be followed by another and so on. Maybe we do have years before it hits. I simply do not know. What I do know is I am trying to figure out how to prepare as I may. I am planning, considering, loading, and looking. That and... waiting. Time sure stretches out in front of me when I am in this mindset. Every moment is precious when I am not sure when all that I have known will end.
On the good side, I did do a large part of my list today. That is all I have and it is enough for the moment. I should sleep well, and very possibly wake for another day of work. Oh, and I will pray. But what was it Christ prayed... Ah, yes... Something about if this cup may be passed from Me, let it be so. But only if it be Your will, not My will, but Your will. And, He did drink of that cup, deeper than any of us will ever be able to know. I pray no more and no less. And, if it is my turn, I too will drink of that cup.
.
No, my day and life is moving along. I am doing the little chores, and enjoying the work actually. This is not about me, oddly. (/snark) From this blog to that, from this email to that, I am seeing signs that more and more people are realizing we are in serious trouble economically and serious jeopardy civilly. Social deterioration is a foregone conclusion. But the lapses in government and financial surety are profoundly evident wherever one looks. Is it time to be looking for cover? Is it too late?
I do not know anything with any certainty. I do believe the clock is not just ticking, it is timing down. I do not what happens when the clock stops ticking. I do know most people will be terribly surprised. I am not speaking of us, typical citizens. I am talking about the elites. Worse than us, they really have no more idea of what is happening, when it will happen, what to do when it happens, or how to stop it. And more, they appear more like a bunch of school kids trying to draw cartoonish solutions to things they simply never evolved to a place or mind capactiy to solve. What is worse is the notion that they can buy or bribe their way to a better portion when it happens. The people they are trying to bribe are in more trouble than any one else. It is like trying to pay the reaper for enough time for one more cigarrete or something. It simply will not work.
How bad it gets and how fast it gets there depends upon where you live. Who you really know around where you live. What skills or ability you have and can offer. And to some extent what you have that could be useful to those around you. Being a senator might get you shot on sight. Having been a CEO of a major banking interest might get you tarred and feathered. Hiding will only work for just so long. If you live in a city, the police are going to be looking after their own. Out a bit further, in decent society, there is a chance at some semblance of normalcy. In the country you risk being isolated and an easy mark.
If that fails, then we risk socialist totalinarianism or worse. If those in power can convince the military and civilian law enforcement to throw in their lot with them, that is indeed what we face. These are not the right people to be in power at this time. I would argue they are the wrong people at any time.
I am seeing the signs everywhere. And to be honest, not just on the web. I am seeing signs of it among people I have met in real life. People know a major shift, change, down grade to their way of living is just around the corner. Some are living it up, most are changing everything from what is on their menu to how they view others and on into defensive or survival needs.
Ah, maybe it will all blow over. Perhaps it is all just another day which will be followed by another and so on. Maybe we do have years before it hits. I simply do not know. What I do know is I am trying to figure out how to prepare as I may. I am planning, considering, loading, and looking. That and... waiting. Time sure stretches out in front of me when I am in this mindset. Every moment is precious when I am not sure when all that I have known will end.
On the good side, I did do a large part of my list today. That is all I have and it is enough for the moment. I should sleep well, and very possibly wake for another day of work. Oh, and I will pray. But what was it Christ prayed... Ah, yes... Something about if this cup may be passed from Me, let it be so. But only if it be Your will, not My will, but Your will. And, He did drink of that cup, deeper than any of us will ever be able to know. I pray no more and no less. And, if it is my turn, I too will drink of that cup.
Not bad so far.
.
.
A few tasks have been tended. One load to storage, a stop at the camera store, a visit to the tobacco shop, a late breakfast at what is becoming my favored local eatery (Angie's), and then I am back home, of course. I am considering getting the weights down to the vehicle, going out shooting, dropping off the weights on my way back, doing some laundry, then buying a couple of burritos. Not sure if this will get done. I am thinking on it. Some of it will get done though. Hmm, and dishes will probably get done today. Well, something has to give most likely. Ah, and I did clean the bathroom again. Anyway, I am moving a little bit in the right direction.
My chain letter group has doubled. Two yeses so far, and zero no answers so far. I am, of course, holding my breath. Especially since I just checked my account. Somehow I either lost track or something that was not scheduled for payment has been paid. In any case, I am down to dollars and cents with several weeks to go (if some major things have been paid regarding next month's bills). Still, I may end up having to pay for this apartment if it is not rented. And utilities as well. Worried I am, short I am not. Oh well, Yoda I will never be.
A little grape juice and a lot of soda water makes for a tasty treat. I have found water that is both reverse osmosis filtered and has minerals added for taste. It costs the same as my regular water so I decided to give it a shot. I love it! It adds bubbles, bigger, stronger, harder bubbles, more like what you get from soda fountains. If you use soda siphons, try it. Delicious. (No, I do not get paid for this).
Another round of blog hopping, a quick check of my email, and then I will decide what to do next.
Good day sir, madame, Fifi...
.
A few tasks have been tended. One load to storage, a stop at the camera store, a visit to the tobacco shop, a late breakfast at what is becoming my favored local eatery (Angie's), and then I am back home, of course. I am considering getting the weights down to the vehicle, going out shooting, dropping off the weights on my way back, doing some laundry, then buying a couple of burritos. Not sure if this will get done. I am thinking on it. Some of it will get done though. Hmm, and dishes will probably get done today. Well, something has to give most likely. Ah, and I did clean the bathroom again. Anyway, I am moving a little bit in the right direction.
My chain letter group has doubled. Two yeses so far, and zero no answers so far. I am, of course, holding my breath. Especially since I just checked my account. Somehow I either lost track or something that was not scheduled for payment has been paid. In any case, I am down to dollars and cents with several weeks to go (if some major things have been paid regarding next month's bills). Still, I may end up having to pay for this apartment if it is not rented. And utilities as well. Worried I am, short I am not. Oh well, Yoda I will never be.
A little grape juice and a lot of soda water makes for a tasty treat. I have found water that is both reverse osmosis filtered and has minerals added for taste. It costs the same as my regular water so I decided to give it a shot. I love it! It adds bubbles, bigger, stronger, harder bubbles, more like what you get from soda fountains. If you use soda siphons, try it. Delicious. (No, I do not get paid for this).
Another round of blog hopping, a quick check of my email, and then I will decide what to do next.
Good day sir, madame, Fifi...
No beer but good sleep.
.
.
It was quite late and I was very tired. In such situations, beer does no good. So, I went to bed at a decent time and woke well and early, lifting my carcass off the bed at 7:30, cleanly, rested, easily, and happily. After an hour of nearly fruitless blog searching and the checking of email, here I am. Perhaps a few 'logs on the fire' and I should be ready to roll in another hour or two. Today's work includes what I did not complete yesterday, that is the second load I missed yesterday (and maybe another one or two) to storage, laundry in there somewhere, a small breakfast after the first load and while I do laundry, a stop at the local camera shop, and a visit to the tobacco shop or Wal-Mart for tobacco (whichever ends up being closest when in my travels I remember the task).
Oh, yesterday I emailed several people regarding a chain letter. While discussing this with another among you, some of my online friends, I realized that I do not need actual physical addresses. I could copy the letter into email and send it that way, if that is an issue for any of you. I would, in essence, never see your physical address. You would be sending books to someone else on the list. And I would have no connection with you at all. I like my online anonymity, but it is not a major issue with regards to people I have known for some time. Others may not quite see it that way. In any case, I believe I have one of my six.
Oh, right. I also need to do some cleaning here in the apartment as well. Though I cleared the place of refuse, I still have dishes to do. It is not that much of a task, however, as I only have 2 pans (only one is dirty), one pot, 2 bowls and plates, and a small collection of silverware. It is the "ugh" factor I must get above and then over. And, I could do a bit more policing of lesser trash, such as catalogs and other paper mail that tends to collect if not being properly tended. The bathroom will get a chlorine going over as well.
I am hoping to, in the last load, get the majority of the remaining weights to storage. I have about 1,000 pounds to take, but these are in smaller amounts so it should be easier. The hundreds bruised my mackerels and dinged my shin to the tune of a 5" by 3", down to the meat, dent. It is almost better though. In spite of diabetes, I seem to heal phenomenally well and my mackerels are brass if I am lazy about marketing them as such. Did I just say that?
Now, if I can get even three quarters of that done, I am going to go to the range by myself today. I will definitely put a hundred or two downrange from the rifle, but this time I will do freehand standing, sitting, and prone positions. After my arms and aim become unsteady from the exhaustion, I will then free standing plink. The target practice is more like work. But the plinking is pure fun and a fun that helps strengthen the arms and further steady the aim. A little work and a little play or the thing becomes a mere chore. If I were shooting for a gold medal that would have to be the plan, but I am not.
Now, if I do all of this and I am not dead, I will then enjoy some of the fruit of the grain I have tucked away in my electronic temperature modulating storage unit. And maybe some food someone else makes which I can bring home to consume with it. Burritos? Could be. My work eyes are mighty big and the day is only so long, but it is still a young and pretty day. Lets see if this October lass dances with me! Fiddlers!, belay away!
Have a great day!
.
It was quite late and I was very tired. In such situations, beer does no good. So, I went to bed at a decent time and woke well and early, lifting my carcass off the bed at 7:30, cleanly, rested, easily, and happily. After an hour of nearly fruitless blog searching and the checking of email, here I am. Perhaps a few 'logs on the fire' and I should be ready to roll in another hour or two. Today's work includes what I did not complete yesterday, that is the second load I missed yesterday (and maybe another one or two) to storage, laundry in there somewhere, a small breakfast after the first load and while I do laundry, a stop at the local camera shop, and a visit to the tobacco shop or Wal-Mart for tobacco (whichever ends up being closest when in my travels I remember the task).
Oh, yesterday I emailed several people regarding a chain letter. While discussing this with another among you, some of my online friends, I realized that I do not need actual physical addresses. I could copy the letter into email and send it that way, if that is an issue for any of you. I would, in essence, never see your physical address. You would be sending books to someone else on the list. And I would have no connection with you at all. I like my online anonymity, but it is not a major issue with regards to people I have known for some time. Others may not quite see it that way. In any case, I believe I have one of my six.
Oh, right. I also need to do some cleaning here in the apartment as well. Though I cleared the place of refuse, I still have dishes to do. It is not that much of a task, however, as I only have 2 pans (only one is dirty), one pot, 2 bowls and plates, and a small collection of silverware. It is the "ugh" factor I must get above and then over. And, I could do a bit more policing of lesser trash, such as catalogs and other paper mail that tends to collect if not being properly tended. The bathroom will get a chlorine going over as well.
I am hoping to, in the last load, get the majority of the remaining weights to storage. I have about 1,000 pounds to take, but these are in smaller amounts so it should be easier. The hundreds bruised my mackerels and dinged my shin to the tune of a 5" by 3", down to the meat, dent. It is almost better though. In spite of diabetes, I seem to heal phenomenally well and my mackerels are brass if I am lazy about marketing them as such. Did I just say that?
Now, if I can get even three quarters of that done, I am going to go to the range by myself today. I will definitely put a hundred or two downrange from the rifle, but this time I will do freehand standing, sitting, and prone positions. After my arms and aim become unsteady from the exhaustion, I will then free standing plink. The target practice is more like work. But the plinking is pure fun and a fun that helps strengthen the arms and further steady the aim. A little work and a little play or the thing becomes a mere chore. If I were shooting for a gold medal that would have to be the plan, but I am not.
Now, if I do all of this and I am not dead, I will then enjoy some of the fruit of the grain I have tucked away in my electronic temperature modulating storage unit. And maybe some food someone else makes which I can bring home to consume with it. Burritos? Could be. My work eyes are mighty big and the day is only so long, but it is still a young and pretty day. Lets see if this October lass dances with me! Fiddlers!, belay away!
Have a great day!
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Weirder.
.
.
I did half of my projects, minus laundry too. Though I was interrupted. Today was my ex-neighbor's trial date. He thought he might be going to jail. So, I sort of stayed near home to hear the verdict. Guilty. He must pay $140 in fines and fees ($15 a month for a year or up front if he wants), another year of probation, and he must go to anger management therapy. The city would not let the charges be dropped. However, he is not in jail.
My lady friend called, in the afternoon, to ask me to be a party to a chain letter. Oh, she knows me. This is not a money related thing, but revolves around a book and six letters. When I receive the letter, I send a book to whoever's name is at the bottom of the list, scratch that name off, add my name to the top of the list, then send the list to 6 people. Well, I am trying. Most of the people I know, I know online. Most of the real people I know are either paupers, grad students with wife and children or otherwise paupers, or I just barely know them. So, I have emailed a number of people online and asked them to help.
For my part, I do not mind sending off a book. If I get nothing in return, I am not out much. But I have imparted a little bit of my interest to someone else who might enjoy a new perspective. And, should it all work out, I might receive something interesting. I feel a little guilty asking, and if this first group says no... Hmmm, I am not sure there is a second group. I might have to fish out some various addresses, make up some names, and do it myself. I said I would, I did not say how. I are an engineer in heart if not by profession, or, so goes my theory.
The house is halfway picked up, one load was taken to storage, I did some shopping, I bought some beer (Yipee!), and I did a few other things not on my list. So, it was not a complete waste. Further, after getting up at 1:00, I am still awake at 22:53. I have a decent chance of waking at a more suitable hour tomorrow and getting back on the horse. I really do keep trying. And, if I do fail often, I am ready to try to ride that horse just a few days or a week later. I really am trying to turn a new leaf and my body and mind are in the game. It could happen.
Oh, I may be pitching for a couple of things in the near future. A book, some activities, and some ideas. No, I do not receive a nickel. Do you see any advertisements here? Better not, unless "They" put stuff up, but I do not think "They" do. I simply am not interested in earing money that way. Heck, I have attempted to turn search engines and such off for this site. And, quite often, I do not put my URL up when posting. Those who know and like me know where I am. I am just letting you know.
Well, a little air conditioning to cool the place, a couple of beers, and it will be time to try to turn over that leaf one more time. I will keep trying until that dratted leaf goes over and stays there.
Be well, Blessings, and good night!
.
I did half of my projects, minus laundry too. Though I was interrupted. Today was my ex-neighbor's trial date. He thought he might be going to jail. So, I sort of stayed near home to hear the verdict. Guilty. He must pay $140 in fines and fees ($15 a month for a year or up front if he wants), another year of probation, and he must go to anger management therapy. The city would not let the charges be dropped. However, he is not in jail.
My lady friend called, in the afternoon, to ask me to be a party to a chain letter. Oh, she knows me. This is not a money related thing, but revolves around a book and six letters. When I receive the letter, I send a book to whoever's name is at the bottom of the list, scratch that name off, add my name to the top of the list, then send the list to 6 people. Well, I am trying. Most of the people I know, I know online. Most of the real people I know are either paupers, grad students with wife and children or otherwise paupers, or I just barely know them. So, I have emailed a number of people online and asked them to help.
For my part, I do not mind sending off a book. If I get nothing in return, I am not out much. But I have imparted a little bit of my interest to someone else who might enjoy a new perspective. And, should it all work out, I might receive something interesting. I feel a little guilty asking, and if this first group says no... Hmmm, I am not sure there is a second group. I might have to fish out some various addresses, make up some names, and do it myself. I said I would, I did not say how. I are an engineer in heart if not by profession, or, so goes my theory.
The house is halfway picked up, one load was taken to storage, I did some shopping, I bought some beer (Yipee!), and I did a few other things not on my list. So, it was not a complete waste. Further, after getting up at 1:00, I am still awake at 22:53. I have a decent chance of waking at a more suitable hour tomorrow and getting back on the horse. I really do keep trying. And, if I do fail often, I am ready to try to ride that horse just a few days or a week later. I really am trying to turn a new leaf and my body and mind are in the game. It could happen.
Oh, I may be pitching for a couple of things in the near future. A book, some activities, and some ideas. No, I do not receive a nickel. Do you see any advertisements here? Better not, unless "They" put stuff up, but I do not think "They" do. I simply am not interested in earing money that way. Heck, I have attempted to turn search engines and such off for this site. And, quite often, I do not put my URL up when posting. Those who know and like me know where I am. I am just letting you know.
Well, a little air conditioning to cool the place, a couple of beers, and it will be time to try to turn over that leaf one more time. I will keep trying until that dratted leaf goes over and stays there.
Be well, Blessings, and good night!
Weird.
.
.
Sleeping is just off. I wake in the early morning, say around 1:00. That I am still up and going, today, is good. But more, I think I will get some things done. Actually, through collaboration with my lady friend and the internet, I bought the ticket for her to visit this Christmas. What a crazy girl she is. I believe I will get my apartment straightened, trash out, a load (maybe two) over to storage, and do laundry in between trips to the storage facility. Crazy, but some weeks nothing can get done. Why this week and not that week, I simply cannot be sure.
If I do well, I also have a few other things on my list. The people for whom I will be house sitting, the wife though by suggestion of the husband, gave me a bunch of lenses and a camera body. I am not sure about the body, neither were they. But the lenses are in good to excellent shape and cover the major areas of lens use, close-up, standard, and long distance with a few variations and duplicates. I need to take this gear in, have it looked at, and find out if I need a new(er) body or if this will work. As well, hiking is on my mind.
If I can do the things I wish to do today I will be in a much better state of mind to get to the other things. There is something about getting behind in one area which will snowball into simply falling off the proverbial map of life. If that still happens here, what is amazing is how short my day trips end up being and how functional I remain other than being housebound (usually, if not this time). I have noticed that having little sun in my apartment does not help. In my new place, I will actually see the sun much more than I do where I currently live. And, that does make a difference. Though the cold is of almost no significance (outside), as I enjoy that, the lack of light plays havoc with my internal clock. They do, actually, get a lot of sun here, year around, unlike Iowa. I keep thinking how fortuitous I am to have found just the right place. And, other than a few setbacks which given my condition and the situations is reasonable, I feel more sure every day that I am in the right area to settle in.
Hmm, I ought to eat more as well. Then again, I was doing that until it became nearly perpetually dark in the cave and then everything else slid into deficit existence so that my kitchen has become unusable. Cleaning up will help with eating. It all feeds something else, though where the head and tail of a downward spiral is, once it is in play, nobody can tell. A piece at a time, one task, one visit, one call, and a meal, in it's place, and then, *Kaplow*, I am flying again. I ordered delivery food today, a sub sandwich... Italian I am sure you would guess. And, yeah, food helps.
Have a great day!
.
Sleeping is just off. I wake in the early morning, say around 1:00. That I am still up and going, today, is good. But more, I think I will get some things done. Actually, through collaboration with my lady friend and the internet, I bought the ticket for her to visit this Christmas. What a crazy girl she is. I believe I will get my apartment straightened, trash out, a load (maybe two) over to storage, and do laundry in between trips to the storage facility. Crazy, but some weeks nothing can get done. Why this week and not that week, I simply cannot be sure.
If I do well, I also have a few other things on my list. The people for whom I will be house sitting, the wife though by suggestion of the husband, gave me a bunch of lenses and a camera body. I am not sure about the body, neither were they. But the lenses are in good to excellent shape and cover the major areas of lens use, close-up, standard, and long distance with a few variations and duplicates. I need to take this gear in, have it looked at, and find out if I need a new(er) body or if this will work. As well, hiking is on my mind.
If I can do the things I wish to do today I will be in a much better state of mind to get to the other things. There is something about getting behind in one area which will snowball into simply falling off the proverbial map of life. If that still happens here, what is amazing is how short my day trips end up being and how functional I remain other than being housebound (usually, if not this time). I have noticed that having little sun in my apartment does not help. In my new place, I will actually see the sun much more than I do where I currently live. And, that does make a difference. Though the cold is of almost no significance (outside), as I enjoy that, the lack of light plays havoc with my internal clock. They do, actually, get a lot of sun here, year around, unlike Iowa. I keep thinking how fortuitous I am to have found just the right place. And, other than a few setbacks which given my condition and the situations is reasonable, I feel more sure every day that I am in the right area to settle in.
Hmm, I ought to eat more as well. Then again, I was doing that until it became nearly perpetually dark in the cave and then everything else slid into deficit existence so that my kitchen has become unusable. Cleaning up will help with eating. It all feeds something else, though where the head and tail of a downward spiral is, once it is in play, nobody can tell. A piece at a time, one task, one visit, one call, and a meal, in it's place, and then, *Kaplow*, I am flying again. I ordered delivery food today, a sub sandwich... Italian I am sure you would guess. And, yeah, food helps.
Have a great day!
Things that confound.
.
.
I have been researching ebook readers. Kindle 2, Sony's offering, and many more are available. They all have issues, and rather large issues. Whether they offer too little content, no control of the content one buys, short battery life, proprietary software or content, and so on, none of them truly stands out (unless popularity is outstanding). From what I have read, this is a toy so far. For princes and princesses it is the new cool toy, not so much because of the price, but because of the price to value to complexity to surety which limits it's value. For professionals perhaps, and a few others, it might be an actual tool. For the home user not in the class which can afford a toy while waiting for a more trustworthy tool, I am guessing that it may need to stay on the shelf for now. Certainly for me it will. Let the manufacturers and law figure out how not to rip people off, how to make a product that is more functional, and let the brutal democracy of the free market settle some things.
The idea is wonderful. Though I will always have a library, especially if I buy a home. I will not have room for as many books as I would like. I am sure I could not afford the number of books that I would like either. I probably cannot afford the number of books I have read. Some books I see as required for any home. Other books, though nice, would be read and filed until more important books came along. The ebook reader would expand the possibilities. If, of course, one can be sure that the books they buy are actually owned and not, as has happened, merely be stripped once bought or be lost in hardware, or possibly software, upgrades. I have read more than one report of people losing many books to two of those three causes.
Another thing that has been whirring in my mind is a passage in which Christ is discussing the woman who marries each of seven brothers, successively (according to Jewish law/custom), bearing no children, who then herself dies. The story or Christ's words are not befuddling until the very end, when He suggests that about these things, the men are very confused. He does not, then, go on to explain. He does indicate that we will live as angels do.
And, yes, I am confused. Some things I do know are that angels may, somehow, have sex. At least with humans. And not only may they engage in these types of relationships, they may father children. Though, and again, it would seem that for the most part, the ones who became fathers were among the fallen. There is little else absolutely clear regarding angels within the bible itself. There might be hints, but these are small and rare. The prophetic books cannot be held to the standard of, say, what Christ said. Then again, I have speculated that Heaven is not the end. Or, more, the initial stop in heaven proper is only the beginning, as perfected children of God. Though I think Heaven is more than it seems, something akin to discussing Church. Is Church the people, the building, the ceremony, the bride or body of Christ, or what? Huh? Yeah, I know. Heaven, technically, will be everything that is not Hell or, in my belief, Purgatory. So, will their be a capitol of NotHell called Heaven, or will Heaven be a land (all land other than the exceptions)?
Next up, technology, as a whole, is often more troubling than it is helpful. I suppose one needs to be very interested in the technology to invest more than a glance at most of the items, devices, and systems. Though, I suspect, being more social (or professionally oriented) might help, at least with those who share similar interests. To be shown how to do something, enough to get the feet wet, does help. I have found that many know a technology very well, but only in a very limited way. For example, someone might know Linux very well, but how to get it on a computer, which distro to use, how to fix Windows XP, how to set it up for security, these all simply are not a consideration. Or, they know what is secure, for example, but someone else set up their security and they have no more of a clue about it than I do.
With as many technologies that are out there, and how many invade even a home computer user's space, it becomes more than a bit daunting. Furthering the dilemma is the fact that even should you catch up on today's computer and internet, unless you are in the pack which develops usage, tomorrow you will be just as lost as you were before you learned yesterday's technologies. This, then requires trust. Many computer users simply trust what they buy, the internet, and their ISP. I think this is a huge mistake and yet it is difficult to fault that too much. As someone who tries to keep a machine safe and functional, who has some education, capacity, and time, I have to say it would probably be better, more functional, and safer (since nothing now seems to work on this machine) to simply let it be.
I suppose it would be like the man who wants to do the work on his own automobile these days. He will end up over his head in expensive tools, labor demands, and technology requirements most mechanics do not fully understand. It seems to take a team to complicate a system beyond the reach of diy'ers, or even often practicality. How much he will end up paying to repair even a simple mistake is difficult to say, but he will most likely end up without a vehicle, with a large bill, and possibly out of work due either to a lack of transportation or missing work to fix his ride. The difference is, he does not put private thoughts in his vehicle that a mechanic or thief could gather for whatever purposes. Oh, in case you were wondering, no, I have not fixed the computer(s) yet.
*bam, bam, bam!* Ouch. Well, it gives me something to think about when all else fails and the walls become my closest friends for a bit.
.
I have been researching ebook readers. Kindle 2, Sony's offering, and many more are available. They all have issues, and rather large issues. Whether they offer too little content, no control of the content one buys, short battery life, proprietary software or content, and so on, none of them truly stands out (unless popularity is outstanding). From what I have read, this is a toy so far. For princes and princesses it is the new cool toy, not so much because of the price, but because of the price to value to complexity to surety which limits it's value. For professionals perhaps, and a few others, it might be an actual tool. For the home user not in the class which can afford a toy while waiting for a more trustworthy tool, I am guessing that it may need to stay on the shelf for now. Certainly for me it will. Let the manufacturers and law figure out how not to rip people off, how to make a product that is more functional, and let the brutal democracy of the free market settle some things.
The idea is wonderful. Though I will always have a library, especially if I buy a home. I will not have room for as many books as I would like. I am sure I could not afford the number of books that I would like either. I probably cannot afford the number of books I have read. Some books I see as required for any home. Other books, though nice, would be read and filed until more important books came along. The ebook reader would expand the possibilities. If, of course, one can be sure that the books they buy are actually owned and not, as has happened, merely be stripped once bought or be lost in hardware, or possibly software, upgrades. I have read more than one report of people losing many books to two of those three causes.
Another thing that has been whirring in my mind is a passage in which Christ is discussing the woman who marries each of seven brothers, successively (according to Jewish law/custom), bearing no children, who then herself dies. The story or Christ's words are not befuddling until the very end, when He suggests that about these things, the men are very confused. He does not, then, go on to explain. He does indicate that we will live as angels do.
And, yes, I am confused. Some things I do know are that angels may, somehow, have sex. At least with humans. And not only may they engage in these types of relationships, they may father children. Though, and again, it would seem that for the most part, the ones who became fathers were among the fallen. There is little else absolutely clear regarding angels within the bible itself. There might be hints, but these are small and rare. The prophetic books cannot be held to the standard of, say, what Christ said. Then again, I have speculated that Heaven is not the end. Or, more, the initial stop in heaven proper is only the beginning, as perfected children of God. Though I think Heaven is more than it seems, something akin to discussing Church. Is Church the people, the building, the ceremony, the bride or body of Christ, or what? Huh? Yeah, I know. Heaven, technically, will be everything that is not Hell or, in my belief, Purgatory. So, will their be a capitol of NotHell called Heaven, or will Heaven be a land (all land other than the exceptions)?
Next up, technology, as a whole, is often more troubling than it is helpful. I suppose one needs to be very interested in the technology to invest more than a glance at most of the items, devices, and systems. Though, I suspect, being more social (or professionally oriented) might help, at least with those who share similar interests. To be shown how to do something, enough to get the feet wet, does help. I have found that many know a technology very well, but only in a very limited way. For example, someone might know Linux very well, but how to get it on a computer, which distro to use, how to fix Windows XP, how to set it up for security, these all simply are not a consideration. Or, they know what is secure, for example, but someone else set up their security and they have no more of a clue about it than I do.
With as many technologies that are out there, and how many invade even a home computer user's space, it becomes more than a bit daunting. Furthering the dilemma is the fact that even should you catch up on today's computer and internet, unless you are in the pack which develops usage, tomorrow you will be just as lost as you were before you learned yesterday's technologies. This, then requires trust. Many computer users simply trust what they buy, the internet, and their ISP. I think this is a huge mistake and yet it is difficult to fault that too much. As someone who tries to keep a machine safe and functional, who has some education, capacity, and time, I have to say it would probably be better, more functional, and safer (since nothing now seems to work on this machine) to simply let it be.
I suppose it would be like the man who wants to do the work on his own automobile these days. He will end up over his head in expensive tools, labor demands, and technology requirements most mechanics do not fully understand. It seems to take a team to complicate a system beyond the reach of diy'ers, or even often practicality. How much he will end up paying to repair even a simple mistake is difficult to say, but he will most likely end up without a vehicle, with a large bill, and possibly out of work due either to a lack of transportation or missing work to fix his ride. The difference is, he does not put private thoughts in his vehicle that a mechanic or thief could gather for whatever purposes. Oh, in case you were wondering, no, I have not fixed the computer(s) yet.
*bam, bam, bam!* Ouch. Well, it gives me something to think about when all else fails and the walls become my closest friends for a bit.
Monday, October 19, 2009
Sunday, October 18, 2009
Speaking of pacifism...
.
.
Stolen shamelessly from Brigid.
Just today, on one of my oft read blogs, a topic came up concerning pacifism. I know, I know, I had said I would keep quiet. And, actually, I have posted about 3 comments since then. Which, for me, is pretty much quiet. As well, I have been trying to be very careful in my posts. I may have failed in this last one and gone overboard again. But boiling water does not simply become room temperature, it takes time.
In any case, I think this explains more than anything I could say. Oh, I have a camera too. But out there, my camera would not be the thing I would be up a tree with. Fact is, I would not be up a tree taking pictures of what was about to use me for lunch. I would either be dead with as much brass around me as I could possibly put out, or more likely I would just now be reaching for my camera. And, even though it might be illegal, I would get my pliers out next, and my bowey knife, and I would be getting claws and teeth as my rights. I probably could not get away with the fur, or I would take that too, and some meat.
Picture this, pacifists!
I love it when the plans of mice and men, and women in this case, come together functionally. Call me soft that way.
.
Stolen shamelessly from Brigid.
Just today, on one of my oft read blogs, a topic came up concerning pacifism. I know, I know, I had said I would keep quiet. And, actually, I have posted about 3 comments since then. Which, for me, is pretty much quiet. As well, I have been trying to be very careful in my posts. I may have failed in this last one and gone overboard again. But boiling water does not simply become room temperature, it takes time.
In any case, I think this explains more than anything I could say. Oh, I have a camera too. But out there, my camera would not be the thing I would be up a tree with. Fact is, I would not be up a tree taking pictures of what was about to use me for lunch. I would either be dead with as much brass around me as I could possibly put out, or more likely I would just now be reaching for my camera. And, even though it might be illegal, I would get my pliers out next, and my bowey knife, and I would be getting claws and teeth as my rights. I probably could not get away with the fur, or I would take that too, and some meat.
Picture this, pacifists!
I love it when the plans of mice and men, and women in this case, come together functionally. Call me soft that way.
Second reading.
.
.
After completing the New Testament, then the Old Testament, I am back to re-reading the New Testament. Between having read the O.T. recently and this reading being a second reading, some passages have very different meanings this time. I cannot always separate whether it is the second reading or what I gathered from the O.T. which adds the depth to this current reading. I do note that when something is discussed in the N.T. from the O.T., that is truly much richer now. Even if I cannot call the exact words forward, I have a good general sense about what is being suggested, a little about the book, and a lot more regarding the prophet or time being discussed.
If people read the New Testament alone, I think they really are missing out. I would highly recommend reading the O.T., and sooner rather than later. As well, I would recommend a complete reading, from O.T. to N.T, in a single shorter session rather than merely a few passages at a time. Some of it is difficult reading. Some of it has no snap and sizzle, no surprises, and is flat out boring. I will grant that. But most of it is more than just that, it is fantastic reading. If you are a literary type, there will be rewards. If you are more academic, there are definitely rewards and challenges. If you are a Christian, I think this should be like a pilgrimage, one you can do in your own home or wherever you are. The readings take you, rather than through space, through time. Back to the origins of God and man. The O.T. God is the same to Whom you pray (hopefully at least daily). Christ existed then as well, He had simply not been called forth if He had most certainly been foretold.
If you want to see how prophecy works, do not simply read the N.T. Find out how the prophets and writers foretold Christ's coming. Understand, too, why many Jews could not understand this. It helps when you read what Christ wrote about His return. It might give you a leg up on not following the Jewish mistake. Although, and to be absolutely honest, I have some belief that when Christ comes again, He will call those who are chosen. This aspect is complex. There will be few elect who remain, both true to Him or even alive. Still, if you wish to begin looking and thinking about it, the O.T. is as vital as the N.T. in this regard.
To say there is little that confuses me regarding the bible, the prophecies yet to unfold, God's will for me, and Christ's final truths to us would be to be untruthful. There is vast amounts of uncertainty. If salvation were based on understanding, I would have to hope for purgatory, and that only as a gift of grace. I do not think belief, or faith and works are all there is to it either, those though good might again be legalistic and empty, which is why Christ came. I know, I know, but. How does one both understand and do enough and faithfully and still come to Him as a child? In truth, one cannot. I think the trick is to have these things in place and let His sacrifice do all the work. Remember now, I am an admitted fool. I have to hope for extra grace!
However, if I can get one other person; man, woman, or child; to read the bible to completion, I will be a happy fool.
.
After completing the New Testament, then the Old Testament, I am back to re-reading the New Testament. Between having read the O.T. recently and this reading being a second reading, some passages have very different meanings this time. I cannot always separate whether it is the second reading or what I gathered from the O.T. which adds the depth to this current reading. I do note that when something is discussed in the N.T. from the O.T., that is truly much richer now. Even if I cannot call the exact words forward, I have a good general sense about what is being suggested, a little about the book, and a lot more regarding the prophet or time being discussed.
If people read the New Testament alone, I think they really are missing out. I would highly recommend reading the O.T., and sooner rather than later. As well, I would recommend a complete reading, from O.T. to N.T, in a single shorter session rather than merely a few passages at a time. Some of it is difficult reading. Some of it has no snap and sizzle, no surprises, and is flat out boring. I will grant that. But most of it is more than just that, it is fantastic reading. If you are a literary type, there will be rewards. If you are more academic, there are definitely rewards and challenges. If you are a Christian, I think this should be like a pilgrimage, one you can do in your own home or wherever you are. The readings take you, rather than through space, through time. Back to the origins of God and man. The O.T. God is the same to Whom you pray (hopefully at least daily). Christ existed then as well, He had simply not been called forth if He had most certainly been foretold.
If you want to see how prophecy works, do not simply read the N.T. Find out how the prophets and writers foretold Christ's coming. Understand, too, why many Jews could not understand this. It helps when you read what Christ wrote about His return. It might give you a leg up on not following the Jewish mistake. Although, and to be absolutely honest, I have some belief that when Christ comes again, He will call those who are chosen. This aspect is complex. There will be few elect who remain, both true to Him or even alive. Still, if you wish to begin looking and thinking about it, the O.T. is as vital as the N.T. in this regard.
To say there is little that confuses me regarding the bible, the prophecies yet to unfold, God's will for me, and Christ's final truths to us would be to be untruthful. There is vast amounts of uncertainty. If salvation were based on understanding, I would have to hope for purgatory, and that only as a gift of grace. I do not think belief, or faith and works are all there is to it either, those though good might again be legalistic and empty, which is why Christ came. I know, I know, but. How does one both understand and do enough and faithfully and still come to Him as a child? In truth, one cannot. I think the trick is to have these things in place and let His sacrifice do all the work. Remember now, I am an admitted fool. I have to hope for extra grace!
However, if I can get one other person; man, woman, or child; to read the bible to completion, I will be a happy fool.
Saturday, October 17, 2009
Some days.
.
.
Some days I simply feel intellectually inadequate. I ask stupid questions, offer poor comments, or realize old posts were simply foolish. I say things that must make any thinking human blink a few times and wonder if they just heard what I said correctly. I am not sure if days like these are moods or realizations or just days where nothing fits so nothing is going to please the rational aspect of my mind.
I do not mind being foolish, even by accident, so long as I may recover some semblance of self respect and not lose too much respect from those whom I wish respect. I am used to being foolish, both purposefully in play and accidentally in earnest. When wrong, I would rather be told such rather than to be allowed to simply remain incorrect, though I know I may not immediately or possibly ever see my error even if corrected. I do try to see it, I do make every attempt to understand, and yet often enough I fail.
The good days are great, however. When the stars are aligned, I make connections rightly, I see the figures in the patterns in a classical sense, and I push on through the unknown into a new understanding. That process is (if orders of magnitude less) akin to actual birth in the realm of the miraculous. I suppose if I never failed to think clearly I would not enjoy the times of good mental use to anywhere near the level that I do.
I find myself terribly embarrassed about my failings, personally and socially. The embarrassment is a sliding scale, sometimes no more than like realizing I have been running around outside and in businesses with my hair a mess to something more like somehow accidentally losing bladder or bowel control publicly. Today I would rate it as, perhaps, a 7 on a scale of 1 to 10.
I am not sure how I do these things, but I do. I am not sure why I do not quit while I am only a little behind, but I do not. So, for a while, perhaps a little longer, I have decided to try my very best to stay quiet and listen. I may post, but more just the doings of life. No comments, I am grounded. As the bible, among dozens of other sources of wisdom, indicate... Even a fool, who remains quiet, may be considered wise. Which tells me that even wise men are often fools, and abstaining from speaking itself might be wise, but that is not the point. I am not worried about other fools or wise men.
No worries, deeply. And, in time, I may have some chuckles over some things. But for now I am dissatisfied. A nap might help so a nap it is.
Have a great day!
.
Some days I simply feel intellectually inadequate. I ask stupid questions, offer poor comments, or realize old posts were simply foolish. I say things that must make any thinking human blink a few times and wonder if they just heard what I said correctly. I am not sure if days like these are moods or realizations or just days where nothing fits so nothing is going to please the rational aspect of my mind.
I do not mind being foolish, even by accident, so long as I may recover some semblance of self respect and not lose too much respect from those whom I wish respect. I am used to being foolish, both purposefully in play and accidentally in earnest. When wrong, I would rather be told such rather than to be allowed to simply remain incorrect, though I know I may not immediately or possibly ever see my error even if corrected. I do try to see it, I do make every attempt to understand, and yet often enough I fail.
The good days are great, however. When the stars are aligned, I make connections rightly, I see the figures in the patterns in a classical sense, and I push on through the unknown into a new understanding. That process is (if orders of magnitude less) akin to actual birth in the realm of the miraculous. I suppose if I never failed to think clearly I would not enjoy the times of good mental use to anywhere near the level that I do.
I find myself terribly embarrassed about my failings, personally and socially. The embarrassment is a sliding scale, sometimes no more than like realizing I have been running around outside and in businesses with my hair a mess to something more like somehow accidentally losing bladder or bowel control publicly. Today I would rate it as, perhaps, a 7 on a scale of 1 to 10.
I am not sure how I do these things, but I do. I am not sure why I do not quit while I am only a little behind, but I do not. So, for a while, perhaps a little longer, I have decided to try my very best to stay quiet and listen. I may post, but more just the doings of life. No comments, I am grounded. As the bible, among dozens of other sources of wisdom, indicate... Even a fool, who remains quiet, may be considered wise. Which tells me that even wise men are often fools, and abstaining from speaking itself might be wise, but that is not the point. I am not worried about other fools or wise men.
No worries, deeply. And, in time, I may have some chuckles over some things. But for now I am dissatisfied. A nap might help so a nap it is.
Have a great day!
A few orders placed.
.
.
With the help of one of my fellow bloggers (thanks Christine), I have started on my path toward learning the rosary. I know, it is simple enough. I know, even a child can do it. I know lots of things. One of the things that I also know is that I have to do some things a certain way and that is all. To that end, I have ordered a recording of the rosary with a book to go with it. I have a rosary, it has been blessed, it fits my bear paws, and it fits my aesthetic senses. I have had it fully ready for years now. That is how things go. Time taken for this, stolen for that, used over here, and wasted there. Everything has a time, and this is the time for this. Shush!
I also went to Amazon for a few things and bought a few others. Chesterton has been on my mind. And, Vox brought up, in a recent debate, a book I was not familiar with. He indicated that ANY Christian (this is my take, not a literal thing, so work with me) worth his salt must have read and understood the relevance of such a work, or at least one particular aspect of it. Hmm, never heard of it. Now, I could have just said, "He is, obviously, wrong! I am a solid Christian and I have heard of no such thing." And, as well justified as that may have been, or not, I decided to simply investigate. Why argue when you can read. Reading has something I have been lax about for far too many years. Even if I once had legions of classics, both secular, scientifice, religious, historic, and philosophical under my belt, the benefits have surely faded due to decades of disuse. Some vague senses of what I gained remain. My vocabulary is still reasonably above average. But something is missing.
Beyond C.S. Lewis's Space Trilogy, I ordered the 7 books (7, I did not remember that many) Chronicles of Narnia, a series of other of his writings, and perhaps something else by him. Then I got into G.K. Chesterton. I ordered "Orthodoxy", "Heritics", "What Is Wrong With the World", and perhaps another if it is on backorder. I also, finally, created a wishlist. I am not sure how such a thing works, or if it will be valuable or useful. And I was able to name it by my common internet name, much to my small joy. I have the works of St. Thomas Aquinas, Chesterton's (one of them) books regarding Aquinas, and some study bibles that fit my nature.
It was not as costly as I have always worried. I could actually have received the rosary material free, but my guilt nature simply would not allow it. Now I have some reading to do! I will also be adding some of the books D.C. and others recommend to my wish list. I need to see how quickly I can read anymore. It took a MONTH to read the bible, for heavens sakes. How long these books will take to read causes trepidation after that. I best be to finding my dictionary as well, and perhaps investing in one which is more geared to religious notions. As well, there are some tomes, texts, and other resource materials which I would like to gain for my library, mostly pertaining to religion and Catholicism.
This, however, should cover my extra reading, aside from the potential requirements of course studies. I had thanked Vox for the challenge he, if not directly, set forth in his responses to an atheist regarding my faith and understanding of it. Maybe I will, some time in the future, drop him a note to let him now what a little incentive does. Bah, he will just say, and? Ha!
.
With the help of one of my fellow bloggers (thanks Christine), I have started on my path toward learning the rosary. I know, it is simple enough. I know, even a child can do it. I know lots of things. One of the things that I also know is that I have to do some things a certain way and that is all. To that end, I have ordered a recording of the rosary with a book to go with it. I have a rosary, it has been blessed, it fits my bear paws, and it fits my aesthetic senses. I have had it fully ready for years now. That is how things go. Time taken for this, stolen for that, used over here, and wasted there. Everything has a time, and this is the time for this. Shush!
I also went to Amazon for a few things and bought a few others. Chesterton has been on my mind. And, Vox brought up, in a recent debate, a book I was not familiar with. He indicated that ANY Christian (this is my take, not a literal thing, so work with me) worth his salt must have read and understood the relevance of such a work, or at least one particular aspect of it. Hmm, never heard of it. Now, I could have just said, "He is, obviously, wrong! I am a solid Christian and I have heard of no such thing." And, as well justified as that may have been, or not, I decided to simply investigate. Why argue when you can read. Reading has something I have been lax about for far too many years. Even if I once had legions of classics, both secular, scientifice, religious, historic, and philosophical under my belt, the benefits have surely faded due to decades of disuse. Some vague senses of what I gained remain. My vocabulary is still reasonably above average. But something is missing.
Beyond C.S. Lewis's Space Trilogy, I ordered the 7 books (7, I did not remember that many) Chronicles of Narnia, a series of other of his writings, and perhaps something else by him. Then I got into G.K. Chesterton. I ordered "Orthodoxy", "Heritics", "What Is Wrong With the World", and perhaps another if it is on backorder. I also, finally, created a wishlist. I am not sure how such a thing works, or if it will be valuable or useful. And I was able to name it by my common internet name, much to my small joy. I have the works of St. Thomas Aquinas, Chesterton's (one of them) books regarding Aquinas, and some study bibles that fit my nature.
It was not as costly as I have always worried. I could actually have received the rosary material free, but my guilt nature simply would not allow it. Now I have some reading to do! I will also be adding some of the books D.C. and others recommend to my wish list. I need to see how quickly I can read anymore. It took a MONTH to read the bible, for heavens sakes. How long these books will take to read causes trepidation after that. I best be to finding my dictionary as well, and perhaps investing in one which is more geared to religious notions. As well, there are some tomes, texts, and other resource materials which I would like to gain for my library, mostly pertaining to religion and Catholicism.
This, however, should cover my extra reading, aside from the potential requirements of course studies. I had thanked Vox for the challenge he, if not directly, set forth in his responses to an atheist regarding my faith and understanding of it. Maybe I will, some time in the future, drop him a note to let him now what a little incentive does. Bah, he will just say, and? Ha!
Aha! So that is the problem.
.
.
Well, maybe not the problem. But it makes sense. I have gotten this before, from official testing, but thought to do one of those silly online tests to see if it still held water. It appears that I am still an INTJ personality type. What does that mean? I have a link and the beginning of the article below.
---------------------------------------------------------------
Introverted iNtuitive Thinking Judging
by Marina Margaret Heiss
And, it probably does cause difficulties when dealing with certain other types, especially those who live in the feminine... I mean feeling. Ha! I am a doubting Thomas. Though if you remember rightly, Christ did not beset Thomas and toss him out. There are reasons to doubt and their is a need for doubt. If too, their is a need for faith. It seems we might just have those two in some odd order. Then again, everybody does, they are just disordered differently. So there. :p
I am not sure if we can change what we are, how much our own actions create these patterns, how much is genetics, or how much the outside world plays a part. I only know that I would have it no other way, for my part. We seem to be a small minority, 1 percenters if you believe the writings. Which probably puts us out socially. I do not think it is necessarily geekiness, it is more that we go too deep in conversations and possibilities so that we bore even those who love us to tears, regardless if we are discussing the weather, a motor, or our relationship with our mother. And, we plan. Though the best planners among us know that a plan is a piece of paper we hold as we leave a building and head out into a hurricane. That paper IS important, but uhm, liable to change... significantly. All said and done, that is the way of it. I am comfortable with that.
Given this, I think one might now understand why being plagued by exhaustion, no matter how much it "pays", is anathema to me. It is why I keep looking for the source and a fix. My illness to me is like a programming bug to one like me who programs. The human mind and body are just a bit more complex and I really do not have the expertise to find the problem organically. As an engineering type, however, I realize I do not need to find the exact cause nor an exact fix for it, if I can find the major difficulties and find simpler means of avoiding, fixing, or rendering those problems otherwise nonbinding. There is even a possibility of using the problems themselves as positives, much the way scientists not only learned to overcome gravity but learned to use that as a source of propulsion. I am, well, still working on it. Frustrating to be sure.
Oh, if you are curious, you may go here to find out for yourself. I am not sure how accurate these online tests are. As I said, this only confirms two or three other "official" tests I have taken. If you end up being the nose picking village idiot type, do not even look at me cross-eyed (unless, of course, you are cross-eyed, for which I make some exceptions).
.
Well, maybe not the problem. But it makes sense. I have gotten this before, from official testing, but thought to do one of those silly online tests to see if it still held water. It appears that I am still an INTJ personality type. What does that mean? I have a link and the beginning of the article below.
---------------------------------------------------------------
Introverted iNtuitive Thinking Judging
by Marina Margaret Heiss
Profile: INTJ
Revision: 3.0
Date of Revision: 27 Feb 2005
To outsiders, INTJs may appear to project an aura of "definiteness", of self-confidence. This self-confidence, sometimes mistaken for simple arrogance by the less decisive, is actually of a very specific rather than a general nature; its source lies in the specialized knowledge systems that most INTJs start building at an early age. When it comes to their own areas of expertise -- and INTJs can have several -- they will be able to tell you almost immediately whether or not they can help you, and if so, how. INTJs know what they know, and perhaps still more importantly, they know what they don't know.
INTJs are perfectionists, with a seemingly endless capacity for improving upon anything that takes their interest. What prevents them from becoming chronically bogged down in this pursuit of perfection is the pragmatism so characteristic of the type: INTJs apply (often ruthlessly) the criterion "Does it work?" to everything from their own research efforts to the prevailing social norms. This in turn produces an unusual independence of mind, freeing the INTJ from the constraints of authority, convention, or sentiment for its own sake.
---------------------------------------------------------------And, it probably does cause difficulties when dealing with certain other types, especially those who live in the feminine... I mean feeling. Ha! I am a doubting Thomas. Though if you remember rightly, Christ did not beset Thomas and toss him out. There are reasons to doubt and their is a need for doubt. If too, their is a need for faith. It seems we might just have those two in some odd order. Then again, everybody does, they are just disordered differently. So there. :p
I am not sure if we can change what we are, how much our own actions create these patterns, how much is genetics, or how much the outside world plays a part. I only know that I would have it no other way, for my part. We seem to be a small minority, 1 percenters if you believe the writings. Which probably puts us out socially. I do not think it is necessarily geekiness, it is more that we go too deep in conversations and possibilities so that we bore even those who love us to tears, regardless if we are discussing the weather, a motor, or our relationship with our mother. And, we plan. Though the best planners among us know that a plan is a piece of paper we hold as we leave a building and head out into a hurricane. That paper IS important, but uhm, liable to change... significantly. All said and done, that is the way of it. I am comfortable with that.
Given this, I think one might now understand why being plagued by exhaustion, no matter how much it "pays", is anathema to me. It is why I keep looking for the source and a fix. My illness to me is like a programming bug to one like me who programs. The human mind and body are just a bit more complex and I really do not have the expertise to find the problem organically. As an engineering type, however, I realize I do not need to find the exact cause nor an exact fix for it, if I can find the major difficulties and find simpler means of avoiding, fixing, or rendering those problems otherwise nonbinding. There is even a possibility of using the problems themselves as positives, much the way scientists not only learned to overcome gravity but learned to use that as a source of propulsion. I am, well, still working on it. Frustrating to be sure.
Oh, if you are curious, you may go here to find out for yourself. I am not sure how accurate these online tests are. As I said, this only confirms two or three other "official" tests I have taken. If you end up being the nose picking village idiot type, do not even look at me cross-eyed (unless, of course, you are cross-eyed, for which I make some exceptions).
Friday, October 16, 2009
Sleep is still a bit odd.
.
.
I am sleeping in more regular cycles again though. Trying to regulate the temperature is difficult. Even having the air on over night, the coolest I could get it was 78 F. Still, I am able to sleep one long and maybe one short period and stay awake fairly long periods. As well, I am getting up early, if a bit too early, and staying up until early evening with a nap in there somewhere.
Today is a good day to do something. My ex-neighbor called last night and said his 9mm was fixed. The springs he ordered came in. So, he wants to go shooting. Oh, fine. I suppose. Ha! I am going to pick up some more .45 ammunition, take my .22 Henry, and perhaps my .22 pistol. It is cool enough without being cold so that we might be able to get some good long shooting time in. I will be setting up my target as well. Now that the Henry is on target, I need to practice practice practice.
Afterward, I believe I will go to a steak house closer to home. I will, again, buy for my ex-neighbor. Maybe I should nickname him Grumpy. He is, but so am I. He is just better at it. Eggs at a window, ha! I will not tell him I think it is funny, he does not need ANY encouragement. He said he has been putting on weight since meeting me. I have been losing. It balances well. He could use another 20 pounds, and I could lose about that much. So, to a good supper again we will go.
I may drive him around a bit today, if he needs that. And I might stop into the store myself as well. He says he is not cooking as much, because he does not have a hood over his stove. But honestly, I am a little worried he is merely holding back because he is not sure about some upcoming potentially expensive bills. If that is the case, I will grab some stuff for him too. Nothing big, eggs, sausage, pork chops, bread, milk, and some hamburger. The rest he has.
Oh, I best call my lady friend. I need to buy her tickets, and she wants to be on the phone to make sure I get the right times for leaving and returning, while I try and get the best price. She just wants to be a part of it, I think, and I have been known to make little tiny errors, like the day and such. So picky. I did speak to my mother yesterday morning. She had been meaning to call me that morning so it worked out. It seems she will be heading to Texas, to help my brother a bit, after their move and his back surgery. It seems his house was taken over by bees. They were not killer bees at least. It should be settled by the time she arrives. It is probably settled already.
I really have to begin packing things over to storage. I have until the 28th of this month. Well, I actually probably could move in before that or after that, by a week if I really wanted. And, actually, I am hoping to be ready a little early. So, getting weights, boxes, and some other equipment into storage is a high priority. Better to do it over a couple of weeks than to try and do it in a few days. That is brutal. I am quite looking forward to my own place, and a decent place, garage and privacy and all. Oh, and enough room to do beans and rice and other real cooking as well.
I have been eating a good deal of beans and rice. The problem is I do not have the room to cook more than a bit at a time. I lack serious storage for it, as well, once it is cooked. I do enjoy it, what I can do here. I warm it in a skillet, adding a bit of milk or water to freshen it. I have used cheese from time to time, but usually I eat it as is, though with salt. I use little salt in the beans when cooking (have to have some in there, really), but no salt in the rice. It certainly is not ribeye, but it would do quite well for a significant period of time. Throwing in vegetables is my next area of experimentation. I think broccoli, carrots, and maybe spinach would be good. Peas are added legumes, so really a bit much, cauliflower just does not seem right, but I am considering what else to add. For meats, I want to get smoked pork meat bones. Enough meat to scrape off into the mix and a good bone to lend flavor. I am not sure most other meats would lend themselves well to the mix. Hmm, bacon? Not so much I think.
I ought to get in the shower. I am sure Grumpy will be calling soon. It would be good to surprise him and actually be ready for once. He is so cynical at times, but so smooth about it that often I do not even realize he just got me... for a bit. Remember those two old guys from the Muppets? If so, you get the picture. He is actually usually pretty happy though. He just is not sure he should be and is pretty confident about what about being happy is not to his liking. Man, I thought I was good. It is nice to be learning from teh master. Ha!
Well, time to move out.
.
I am sleeping in more regular cycles again though. Trying to regulate the temperature is difficult. Even having the air on over night, the coolest I could get it was 78 F. Still, I am able to sleep one long and maybe one short period and stay awake fairly long periods. As well, I am getting up early, if a bit too early, and staying up until early evening with a nap in there somewhere.
Today is a good day to do something. My ex-neighbor called last night and said his 9mm was fixed. The springs he ordered came in. So, he wants to go shooting. Oh, fine. I suppose. Ha! I am going to pick up some more .45 ammunition, take my .22 Henry, and perhaps my .22 pistol. It is cool enough without being cold so that we might be able to get some good long shooting time in. I will be setting up my target as well. Now that the Henry is on target, I need to practice practice practice.
Afterward, I believe I will go to a steak house closer to home. I will, again, buy for my ex-neighbor. Maybe I should nickname him Grumpy. He is, but so am I. He is just better at it. Eggs at a window, ha! I will not tell him I think it is funny, he does not need ANY encouragement. He said he has been putting on weight since meeting me. I have been losing. It balances well. He could use another 20 pounds, and I could lose about that much. So, to a good supper again we will go.
I may drive him around a bit today, if he needs that. And I might stop into the store myself as well. He says he is not cooking as much, because he does not have a hood over his stove. But honestly, I am a little worried he is merely holding back because he is not sure about some upcoming potentially expensive bills. If that is the case, I will grab some stuff for him too. Nothing big, eggs, sausage, pork chops, bread, milk, and some hamburger. The rest he has.
Oh, I best call my lady friend. I need to buy her tickets, and she wants to be on the phone to make sure I get the right times for leaving and returning, while I try and get the best price. She just wants to be a part of it, I think, and I have been known to make little tiny errors, like the day and such. So picky. I did speak to my mother yesterday morning. She had been meaning to call me that morning so it worked out. It seems she will be heading to Texas, to help my brother a bit, after their move and his back surgery. It seems his house was taken over by bees. They were not killer bees at least. It should be settled by the time she arrives. It is probably settled already.
I really have to begin packing things over to storage. I have until the 28th of this month. Well, I actually probably could move in before that or after that, by a week if I really wanted. And, actually, I am hoping to be ready a little early. So, getting weights, boxes, and some other equipment into storage is a high priority. Better to do it over a couple of weeks than to try and do it in a few days. That is brutal. I am quite looking forward to my own place, and a decent place, garage and privacy and all. Oh, and enough room to do beans and rice and other real cooking as well.
I have been eating a good deal of beans and rice. The problem is I do not have the room to cook more than a bit at a time. I lack serious storage for it, as well, once it is cooked. I do enjoy it, what I can do here. I warm it in a skillet, adding a bit of milk or water to freshen it. I have used cheese from time to time, but usually I eat it as is, though with salt. I use little salt in the beans when cooking (have to have some in there, really), but no salt in the rice. It certainly is not ribeye, but it would do quite well for a significant period of time. Throwing in vegetables is my next area of experimentation. I think broccoli, carrots, and maybe spinach would be good. Peas are added legumes, so really a bit much, cauliflower just does not seem right, but I am considering what else to add. For meats, I want to get smoked pork meat bones. Enough meat to scrape off into the mix and a good bone to lend flavor. I am not sure most other meats would lend themselves well to the mix. Hmm, bacon? Not so much I think.
I ought to get in the shower. I am sure Grumpy will be calling soon. It would be good to surprise him and actually be ready for once. He is so cynical at times, but so smooth about it that often I do not even realize he just got me... for a bit. Remember those two old guys from the Muppets? If so, you get the picture. He is actually usually pretty happy though. He just is not sure he should be and is pretty confident about what about being happy is not to his liking. Man, I thought I was good. It is nice to be learning from teh master. Ha!
Well, time to move out.
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Rumblings from the dark.
.
.
After reading this article (it is very long but worth the read if you believe in capitalism and would like to see an example of how it can and does work), I started remember something I have said before. And, it became clearer. Oh, and I am stealing this link from the Goomba News Network.
I have always believed that Christianity and capitalism, not to be confused with corporatism which is another form of socialism, have a direct link both among men and in accordance with the will of God as has been written in and out of the bible. This article certainly shows what happens when men decide to be free men and to work for gain. It also shows what happens when they sit and wait to be given what they get. It is, by far, easier to give up great hope, in attempt to be shielded from great loss, for meager beans. It is also a death sentence waiting to happen. For whoever is giving you beans, in the end, will always become a bean counter. And, to that end, the beans will become more valuable than those who receive them. And beyond that, by becoming the lord of economics, any centralized planner will surely fail to be able to produce the beans. Governments are terrible about production, especially when the workers gain nothing by working harder except derision.
I see more and more clearly why capitalism is the enemy of those who support socialism and communism. It has nothing to do with the greed of capitalists. It is that very greed which ensures all near it gain. Even the greediest man can see his folly at some point and change. No government ever has by choice. It is the fact that capitalists are able to usurp power, and spread it to other non-government forces, right down to the smallest citizen. Wealth and power, in the hands of the many, in spite of the "evils of greed" is why such systems are anathema to those who seek to share other people's gains or create equality of outcome. And more, the attack on capitalism is, in a sideways or direct manner, an attack on God.
God did say, in a round about way, do these things and you will prosper. One might say he was the first economist. The sacrifices God sought were not a means of gaining for His own right if worship was sought, the sacrifices were very much a part of keeping people mindful of what they had, knowing they needed to give meant that they would tend to what they had more carefully, realizing the stock had to be in good order meant that keeping their herds (their wealth) in order was a necessary business plan, and offering some of that both to the poor and God helped them realize their place in the way of things. If you look at the mechanics of the system, it works. It keeps wealth production in order, it feeds the poor, and it maintains a humility about the wealth and the generation of it. One might even see how communists, thus socialists, have attempted to supplant God, in their ignorance and finally deceit. But God is not communal, He is King. This is the only thing they have right, if too, they must be lie about it. Humans become their sacrificial "animals", for the "good of the people".
I see, everyday, how the Godless wish to remove God and sit His throne. I see too, for millennia now, how this has always failed. The options when this occurs, for the most part, have been all of a weak tribal nature. They have taken the form of the mafia, to the zeal and corruption coming from socialism and communism. There has never been a successful revolution rooted outside of the inclusion of God as a mainstay and base for change. The one thing common with Godless revolutions is that the greed is real and absolute to the point of economic destruction and the privation of citizens in every manner possible. The stealing and misuse of all wealth and the production of wealth to the ruin of all, the corruption of the family as a social device and connection between people and between people and God, the disfranchisement of personal God given rights, and the attempted separation of man from God. The only thing to come from such works is murder on the grandest scales possible.
We are on the brink of, or past, this very precipice. This nation, which revolted within the will of God, is yielding to the evils of the rest of the world. The socialism, if firmly established, will only bring death and chaos. The iron curtain is descending. There is hope. God has always been on the side of those who sincerely choose Him, more so when their chances were slim and their numbers were vastly outnumbered by the enemy. He has indicated, even then, that it was not the people, but He who went forth. Our revolutionary forefathers were, as well, a minority and a successful one. All through the Old Testament, those few in number but rich in faith won the day through the hand of God and in faith. I am sure there are some powerful of faith still in this land. Christ showed us how One can defeat even death. Will enough remember? Will they act? What will I do?
.
After reading this article (it is very long but worth the read if you believe in capitalism and would like to see an example of how it can and does work), I started remember something I have said before. And, it became clearer. Oh, and I am stealing this link from the Goomba News Network.
I have always believed that Christianity and capitalism, not to be confused with corporatism which is another form of socialism, have a direct link both among men and in accordance with the will of God as has been written in and out of the bible. This article certainly shows what happens when men decide to be free men and to work for gain. It also shows what happens when they sit and wait to be given what they get. It is, by far, easier to give up great hope, in attempt to be shielded from great loss, for meager beans. It is also a death sentence waiting to happen. For whoever is giving you beans, in the end, will always become a bean counter. And, to that end, the beans will become more valuable than those who receive them. And beyond that, by becoming the lord of economics, any centralized planner will surely fail to be able to produce the beans. Governments are terrible about production, especially when the workers gain nothing by working harder except derision.
I see more and more clearly why capitalism is the enemy of those who support socialism and communism. It has nothing to do with the greed of capitalists. It is that very greed which ensures all near it gain. Even the greediest man can see his folly at some point and change. No government ever has by choice. It is the fact that capitalists are able to usurp power, and spread it to other non-government forces, right down to the smallest citizen. Wealth and power, in the hands of the many, in spite of the "evils of greed" is why such systems are anathema to those who seek to share other people's gains or create equality of outcome. And more, the attack on capitalism is, in a sideways or direct manner, an attack on God.
God did say, in a round about way, do these things and you will prosper. One might say he was the first economist. The sacrifices God sought were not a means of gaining for His own right if worship was sought, the sacrifices were very much a part of keeping people mindful of what they had, knowing they needed to give meant that they would tend to what they had more carefully, realizing the stock had to be in good order meant that keeping their herds (their wealth) in order was a necessary business plan, and offering some of that both to the poor and God helped them realize their place in the way of things. If you look at the mechanics of the system, it works. It keeps wealth production in order, it feeds the poor, and it maintains a humility about the wealth and the generation of it. One might even see how communists, thus socialists, have attempted to supplant God, in their ignorance and finally deceit. But God is not communal, He is King. This is the only thing they have right, if too, they must be lie about it. Humans become their sacrificial "animals", for the "good of the people".
I see, everyday, how the Godless wish to remove God and sit His throne. I see too, for millennia now, how this has always failed. The options when this occurs, for the most part, have been all of a weak tribal nature. They have taken the form of the mafia, to the zeal and corruption coming from socialism and communism. There has never been a successful revolution rooted outside of the inclusion of God as a mainstay and base for change. The one thing common with Godless revolutions is that the greed is real and absolute to the point of economic destruction and the privation of citizens in every manner possible. The stealing and misuse of all wealth and the production of wealth to the ruin of all, the corruption of the family as a social device and connection between people and between people and God, the disfranchisement of personal God given rights, and the attempted separation of man from God. The only thing to come from such works is murder on the grandest scales possible.
We are on the brink of, or past, this very precipice. This nation, which revolted within the will of God, is yielding to the evils of the rest of the world. The socialism, if firmly established, will only bring death and chaos. The iron curtain is descending. There is hope. God has always been on the side of those who sincerely choose Him, more so when their chances were slim and their numbers were vastly outnumbered by the enemy. He has indicated, even then, that it was not the people, but He who went forth. Our revolutionary forefathers were, as well, a minority and a successful one. All through the Old Testament, those few in number but rich in faith won the day through the hand of God and in faith. I am sure there are some powerful of faith still in this land. Christ showed us how One can defeat even death. Will enough remember? Will they act? What will I do?
Gotcha!
.
.
I finally realize what was causing sleep problems. Once again, it is simply too hot! The outside temperatures are between 50's and maybe up to the 70's outside for highs. They fall to the 20's and 30's at night. All give or take, roughly, but close enough. However, everyone has been adding coal to their fires. Inside, the temps have been in the 80's. It certainly is not my heat factories making this. What I have on for heat keeps my sleeping area about 60 to 65 F and the rest of the apartment around 55 to 60 F. My neighbors seem to like it hot. So... I am using my air conditioner to once again cool things. And sleep has improved. Too hot or too cold, and I have troubles. I had stopped looking at the thermometers, as I just assumed that would no longer be a problem and had figured out how to heat my apartment just so. I really cannot wait for the move. How I set the furnace through the thermostat is how it will be.
The trip was both fun and successful. Though we could find no large rifle or large pistol primers, we did find a ton of small pistol primers. I still have some large pistol primers, so that is good. Now my neighbor can reload much more easily. They were not selling whole boxes of primers, however, only selling them 200 or 300 at a time at the places we stopped. Between us, I think we bought 400 magnum small pistol (for his .357), and another 600 small pistol primers (for his 9 mm or his .357). I also purchased several .22 ammunition types. A few more boxes of that which I know I like, a box of 400 standard velocity by a new to me manufacturer, 50 rounds of .22 bird shot, and a couple hundred rounds of .22 short rifle which end up being subsonic in my Henry. He looked for 9mm bullets, but the only thing he could find came in a box of 5,000 and they would not part it out per hundred. If it were not for the difficulty finding primers, he might have considered that. As is, reloading 5000 9mm, with his cache of primers split between it and the .357, it would take him a decade to use that many bullets. So, no luck on that score.
I was finally able, on the way back, to order a ribeye steak from Maddox. Let me tell you, that was not a steak. It was a roast! And, beautiful! Juicy, good bite, beefy, proper fat, perfect. It is a tie between it and the other best steak I have ever had at a restaurant. The competitor was eaten at a very (very) nice restaurant in Ithaca, New York. The one thing I liked just a bit more about the Ithaca steak was that it had some bone left on the steak. I love gnawing on a bit of bone (and if I am a paying customer, in a steak house, at those prices, I will indeed gnaw!). The meat itself was truly equal. The difference, however, was price. I paid nearly three times for my steak in Ithica (no complaints, at all, mind you, just a note). I bought my neighbors lunch as well. Even with two meals and tip, I paid less than I paid for the Ithaca steak. Ha! Wonderbar, wondergood, wondernummy. Ha! I could not eat it all. I have become a bit smaller of gut. I just had the last 2 pounds of it (he exaggerates a *mite).
Then I tried to stay up a bit after returning to the cave. I did not sleep Tuesday night to make sure I would be sure to be awake for Wednesday's affairs, and perhaps to reschedule my days now that I figured the heat thing out (80 F in here, and I wondered why I could not sleep, or stay awake, or get comfortable!). I awoke at 3:30 or so this morning. It will make for a long day but I think with this new feature figured out, I should be better and a long day is good. So, perhaps, I am back on the gravy train. So many things to track. Temperature, food, water... things most people simply know and tend, things I have to remain conscious of because I simply do not have the physical to mental to spiritual connections most people have. That, my friends, is what my "illness" is. Nothing more and nothing less, I am simply disassociated. Which means I will fall again and again. Much like someone who has no sensitivity in their extremeties will burn, cut, and bruise those. My whole body is an extremity. And yet, for a time, a disciplined leper was able to live in the general population if he could tend his extremities. So too, can a dissociative, if he learns some discipline. Knowing does not cure, but it does allow opportunity that simply did not exist before.
I guess I always knew the above. I simply did not grasp the enormity of it. Either that or I simply refused to see it. Maybe I could not know it. Where I lived was not the right place to know it. With security issues walking down streets and selling drugs and urinating outside, being freefloating and disassociated in case pain happens so that I might better defend and survive makes tending that very thing dubious. Why would you worry about speeding if evil is rolling up behind you? It is only when you get where you do not need speed that you might consider the dangers of it. Disassociation was the better of faults. Here, not so much, so I may learn to lay my head down and to feel my body and grow into it again. Ah, that makes sense. Whether I will be able to come into my own, who knows. But knowing and having the security to do so makes life better.
Well, good morning!
*mite, might, bit, what?
.
I finally realize what was causing sleep problems. Once again, it is simply too hot! The outside temperatures are between 50's and maybe up to the 70's outside for highs. They fall to the 20's and 30's at night. All give or take, roughly, but close enough. However, everyone has been adding coal to their fires. Inside, the temps have been in the 80's. It certainly is not my heat factories making this. What I have on for heat keeps my sleeping area about 60 to 65 F and the rest of the apartment around 55 to 60 F. My neighbors seem to like it hot. So... I am using my air conditioner to once again cool things. And sleep has improved. Too hot or too cold, and I have troubles. I had stopped looking at the thermometers, as I just assumed that would no longer be a problem and had figured out how to heat my apartment just so. I really cannot wait for the move. How I set the furnace through the thermostat is how it will be.
The trip was both fun and successful. Though we could find no large rifle or large pistol primers, we did find a ton of small pistol primers. I still have some large pistol primers, so that is good. Now my neighbor can reload much more easily. They were not selling whole boxes of primers, however, only selling them 200 or 300 at a time at the places we stopped. Between us, I think we bought 400 magnum small pistol (for his .357), and another 600 small pistol primers (for his 9 mm or his .357). I also purchased several .22 ammunition types. A few more boxes of that which I know I like, a box of 400 standard velocity by a new to me manufacturer, 50 rounds of .22 bird shot, and a couple hundred rounds of .22 short rifle which end up being subsonic in my Henry. He looked for 9mm bullets, but the only thing he could find came in a box of 5,000 and they would not part it out per hundred. If it were not for the difficulty finding primers, he might have considered that. As is, reloading 5000 9mm, with his cache of primers split between it and the .357, it would take him a decade to use that many bullets. So, no luck on that score.
I was finally able, on the way back, to order a ribeye steak from Maddox. Let me tell you, that was not a steak. It was a roast! And, beautiful! Juicy, good bite, beefy, proper fat, perfect. It is a tie between it and the other best steak I have ever had at a restaurant. The competitor was eaten at a very (very) nice restaurant in Ithaca, New York. The one thing I liked just a bit more about the Ithaca steak was that it had some bone left on the steak. I love gnawing on a bit of bone (and if I am a paying customer, in a steak house, at those prices, I will indeed gnaw!). The meat itself was truly equal. The difference, however, was price. I paid nearly three times for my steak in Ithica (no complaints, at all, mind you, just a note). I bought my neighbors lunch as well. Even with two meals and tip, I paid less than I paid for the Ithaca steak. Ha! Wonderbar, wondergood, wondernummy. Ha! I could not eat it all. I have become a bit smaller of gut. I just had the last 2 pounds of it (he exaggerates a *mite).
Then I tried to stay up a bit after returning to the cave. I did not sleep Tuesday night to make sure I would be sure to be awake for Wednesday's affairs, and perhaps to reschedule my days now that I figured the heat thing out (80 F in here, and I wondered why I could not sleep, or stay awake, or get comfortable!). I awoke at 3:30 or so this morning. It will make for a long day but I think with this new feature figured out, I should be better and a long day is good. So, perhaps, I am back on the gravy train. So many things to track. Temperature, food, water... things most people simply know and tend, things I have to remain conscious of because I simply do not have the physical to mental to spiritual connections most people have. That, my friends, is what my "illness" is. Nothing more and nothing less, I am simply disassociated. Which means I will fall again and again. Much like someone who has no sensitivity in their extremeties will burn, cut, and bruise those. My whole body is an extremity. And yet, for a time, a disciplined leper was able to live in the general population if he could tend his extremities. So too, can a dissociative, if he learns some discipline. Knowing does not cure, but it does allow opportunity that simply did not exist before.
I guess I always knew the above. I simply did not grasp the enormity of it. Either that or I simply refused to see it. Maybe I could not know it. Where I lived was not the right place to know it. With security issues walking down streets and selling drugs and urinating outside, being freefloating and disassociated in case pain happens so that I might better defend and survive makes tending that very thing dubious. Why would you worry about speeding if evil is rolling up behind you? It is only when you get where you do not need speed that you might consider the dangers of it. Disassociation was the better of faults. Here, not so much, so I may learn to lay my head down and to feel my body and grow into it again. Ah, that makes sense. Whether I will be able to come into my own, who knows. But knowing and having the security to do so makes life better.
Well, good morning!
*mite, might, bit, what?
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Working on the computer.
.
.
I have learned and am advancing regarding the computer. I have some doubts about whether I will be able to get through it all though. I am using Windows XP Professional, without any of the updates or security packages, according to winver. Though I do have some upgrade packages when I look through "Add or Remove Programs" in the Control Panel. Odd, as I am sure these were installed at one time. I have tried sfc /scannow, along with the XP disc. It whirred and hummed, and seemingly finished. That was it, there was no indication that anything was wrong or right, that it replaced any files, nothing. It simply finished. I also removed Office, then reinstalled. In spite of that, when I went in to MS Outlook to set up my email, it was as if it had not been removed. It was still set up as if it had never been removed.
When I try to open Internet Explorer, I get "The procedure entry point SHRegGetValueW could not be located in the dynamic link library SHLWAPI.dll". When I try to run MS Outlook, I get "The procedure entry point CreateInfoWindo could not be located in the dynamic link library MSOERT2.dll". When I open the Window securiy Center, in the control panel, all I get is a link to automatic updates, which is dysfunctional.
I have used Webroot Anti-virus with Spy Sweeper to look for infections, and I used Microsofts malware offering as well. Nothing is showing up. I have found that large chunks of the computer is locked from my access or dysfunctional. That I can access the internet is a minor miracle. I just wish the internet was more useful. As I said, most of the suggestions require risks, such as turning off my security software, which would be somewhat tolerable, for a short while. if I could turn on XP's firewall at least. Some suggest copying and pasting something into the Registry which would reset it. However, that is risky even if they were definitely offering help on XP, pre-security package. Messing with Registry is just something unwise at my level of computer use.
This is an old machine, with a 3.3 Mhz Pentium 4, 800 (I think) dual front side bus, 2 GRAM, and apparently running XP Pro, with no security updates. I cannot even tell which IE it is running as it will not even open, merely stating the above.
I am simply uncertain if this machine is mechanically/electrically broken, say the HD has dents in the wrong places. Or if the software is conflicting, say the security suite is not allowing updates, or allowed only certain ones making the OS simply not function. Or if the updates were not done correctly and that caused a problem. Online help, so far, has been a bust. Though I have learned a few things. Nothing that will help with a fix though.
I figured out why my ex-neighbor was not answering his phone. I had thought they installed it Friday. I guess not, they just installed it yesterday. Same with his t.v. He must have been going nuts. And, I simply thought he was busy or something. In any case, I will be picking him up tomorrow to see what is happening around the ammunition and reloading world. Who knows, we might run into some primers. I have bullets, if he needs those, for the .45 acp. But they are 230 grain, fmj, round nose. He prefers 200, 185 more, and round nose, but jhp more as well, when he can find them. He likes them light and fast, or whatever.
I have seen a computer shop downtown. Since I will be out, I might stop and ask them for advice. Of course, most shops I have visited would rather a.) sell a new machine, b.) strip and wax, or c.) wish you good luck and talk about the newest biggest baddest video board EVAH. Who knows, this is not quite Iowa City or Spencer. Both have their ups and downs but neither had technology upkeep as an up.
.
I have learned and am advancing regarding the computer. I have some doubts about whether I will be able to get through it all though. I am using Windows XP Professional, without any of the updates or security packages, according to winver. Though I do have some upgrade packages when I look through "Add or Remove Programs" in the Control Panel. Odd, as I am sure these were installed at one time. I have tried sfc /scannow, along with the XP disc. It whirred and hummed, and seemingly finished. That was it, there was no indication that anything was wrong or right, that it replaced any files, nothing. It simply finished. I also removed Office, then reinstalled. In spite of that, when I went in to MS Outlook to set up my email, it was as if it had not been removed. It was still set up as if it had never been removed.
When I try to open Internet Explorer, I get "The procedure entry point SHRegGetValueW could not be located in the dynamic link library SHLWAPI.dll". When I try to run MS Outlook, I get "The procedure entry point CreateInfoWindo could not be located in the dynamic link library MSOERT2.dll". When I open the Window securiy Center, in the control panel, all I get is a link to automatic updates, which is dysfunctional.
I have used Webroot Anti-virus with Spy Sweeper to look for infections, and I used Microsofts malware offering as well. Nothing is showing up. I have found that large chunks of the computer is locked from my access or dysfunctional. That I can access the internet is a minor miracle. I just wish the internet was more useful. As I said, most of the suggestions require risks, such as turning off my security software, which would be somewhat tolerable, for a short while. if I could turn on XP's firewall at least. Some suggest copying and pasting something into the Registry which would reset it. However, that is risky even if they were definitely offering help on XP, pre-security package. Messing with Registry is just something unwise at my level of computer use.
This is an old machine, with a 3.3 Mhz Pentium 4, 800 (I think) dual front side bus, 2 GRAM, and apparently running XP Pro, with no security updates. I cannot even tell which IE it is running as it will not even open, merely stating the above.
I am simply uncertain if this machine is mechanically/electrically broken, say the HD has dents in the wrong places. Or if the software is conflicting, say the security suite is not allowing updates, or allowed only certain ones making the OS simply not function. Or if the updates were not done correctly and that caused a problem. Online help, so far, has been a bust. Though I have learned a few things. Nothing that will help with a fix though.
I figured out why my ex-neighbor was not answering his phone. I had thought they installed it Friday. I guess not, they just installed it yesterday. Same with his t.v. He must have been going nuts. And, I simply thought he was busy or something. In any case, I will be picking him up tomorrow to see what is happening around the ammunition and reloading world. Who knows, we might run into some primers. I have bullets, if he needs those, for the .45 acp. But they are 230 grain, fmj, round nose. He prefers 200, 185 more, and round nose, but jhp more as well, when he can find them. He likes them light and fast, or whatever.
I have seen a computer shop downtown. Since I will be out, I might stop and ask them for advice. Of course, most shops I have visited would rather a.) sell a new machine, b.) strip and wax, or c.) wish you good luck and talk about the newest biggest baddest video board EVAH. Who knows, this is not quite Iowa City or Spencer. Both have their ups and downs but neither had technology upkeep as an up.
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