.
.
It's been a long time since I tried to make a schematic from written instructions. First, getting the aspect correct, then fitting two boxes inside each other sort of separately. Oh, just a spatial nonity to be sure, but a puzzle for a beginner. Just an embarrassing thing to have forgotten for me. My engineering professors might have chuckled at that, anyway. I don't have those particular materials, though I think, if I get the correct insulation, the materials on hand will do nicely. I might even have enough for the two boxes. I will probably do things a bit differently in one regard. I will probably set the thing on wheels on front or back, legs on the other side, so that the thing is mobile. While I like the notion of fixing it, I don't have the right place with sure sun access. I am not going to plant the thing in my front yard. A little further out in the country, that might be reasonable. I simply couldn't find a reasonable house such as that. Compromise, always and everywhere. And, yes, I looked at homes for two years.
I've been looking since, too, for a possible next home. A little improvement in this one, if it pays at all, would make that doable. And homes are quite cheap anymore. I saw some excellent homes, I mean just plain nice, with 10 acres, in the $250K range. Why so low? They are out in the middle of where I would sort of like to be, nowhere. Well, there is no such thing, quite, as nowhere here in Utah (save wilderness, to a degree), just like Iowa. Small town dot the land, as farming states often have it. If I could build this house up $50k over purchase, pay down a bit more (push), and in five or ten years I could probably upgrade. The prices of houses here, below $250k and above a million are rock stable. It's that middling market that has seen the hit, and that only somewhat mildly. Rather than prices being hit more than a bit (from what I have been seeing and hearing), it's the length of time to sell for the middling range homes that has been hit.
Dishes, too, are soaking. I should have a load or three, maybe even double loads, done by the time I sleep. Sleeping late, I just can't help it. I have noticed something though. When I got back on the reservation (medicine) my tolerance for heat has increased... greatly. I am, however, still sore. That is just odd to me. It might be explained by a lack of oxygen in non-vital areas when my heart isn't being helped by the medicine to pump out enough. At an refraction ejection of 15%, what that boils down to is a heart functioning at 20% to 30%, perhaps worse when I sleep. That means some areas will be oxygen deprived. The medicines, even on the lightest doses, seem to do the trick, though, because the pain does go away and definitely. With sleep apnea the pain won't go until the machine is in use, though that may only be for more sever cases? Another plug for the probability I no more have sleep apnea than I have cancer of the petunia. Still, I will play that game for just a bit. Who knows? They don't and I obviously can't be sure. Mostly.
Oh, right. I forgot my darned cookies! Oreos. I'm a pig for them. I try to limit myself, and actually do. No more than 9 at a time, sometimes only 6 if I just ate, and a 16 ounce glass of cold whole milk. Drink the milk, leave the 'stach. Has anyone ever really gotten a milk mustache? If so, I... I am almost certain you are drinking the milk wrong. Hey, there are a lot of groups of 6 to 9 in a bag. So hush it, Mom. Hmm, since I have the basic schematics done, and the soak water is still too hot, I think I'll walk to the post office and pick up my mail. No, too late to walk. While I hate the notion, I think I will drive. My medicine might have arrived and I have other business that might be showing up so that I may do even more business. Isn't that always the way? I just hate walking close to homes this late at night. I don't like people coming that close this late myself. Yeah, that will do.
Good night. Or later.
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
Something to tinker with.
.
.
Yeah, I know, I am not even doing what I want to be doing, so why go messing with other projects. Why indeed. Because I need to get doing something and maybe finding the right project, one I think won't break my bank or back, one that might be fun and immediately useful, something to give me hope for more success. I may have found it. I keep looking at solar ovens. And while bought pre-built solar ovens are fine, and I have seen one used and to good use (baked a dozen potatoes over the course of the afternoon), I do note that they are small, very expensive, and rather delicate.
So, while I was sitting here today, I started to think. I have quite a bit of wood around. Between what I have brought in and what the previous owner left, odd sizing and all, there is some decent wood stock around to at least begin such a product. I have saws, a hammer or three, nails, screws, and even a sander along with sand paper. But finding a good larger, sturdier, truly functional design... that is another story. Don't make a solar oven out of cardboard and expect to use it much or for long. Don't use newspaper as your insulation. Many do not even know, or at least use, the formula for optimal reflector angle, based on reflector and glass size. *sigh* But, after a bit of looking, I may have found... if not a legitimate design at least the outline for one. Enough of the specs are there, a picture of the final product, and the thing will heat to around 400, in December (if, I do believe, they live in southern Texas which may or may not have an affect).
Oh, right, here is a link to the device. Further, here is a link to their homepage, if you don't see it at the bottom of that page, as I didn't. Don't feel stupid, either. My job. Urhm, you can take that either way! There is some hinky stuff there, for preppers, homesteaders, and those thinking of going off-the-grid. For me, one project at a time.
I am going to look for engineering paper, go over what information they offer, fill in the blanks with common thicknesses, and try to develop a plan. It'll be hockey until I learn through experience. Perhaps I will keep a running update on the plans, and when I complete it, and test it, if it is indeed successful, I will offer the plans to the originators and, if they allow, publish them. How about them apples? Well, I'm off. Hmm, might even soak dishes and wash some later. Dishes are worse than having to wash behind my ears and stuff! *stomps off sobbing* Can I have a cookie? Actually, yes! Hahahaha It's good to be king.
Later.
.
Yeah, I know, I am not even doing what I want to be doing, so why go messing with other projects. Why indeed. Because I need to get doing something and maybe finding the right project, one I think won't break my bank or back, one that might be fun and immediately useful, something to give me hope for more success. I may have found it. I keep looking at solar ovens. And while bought pre-built solar ovens are fine, and I have seen one used and to good use (baked a dozen potatoes over the course of the afternoon), I do note that they are small, very expensive, and rather delicate.
So, while I was sitting here today, I started to think. I have quite a bit of wood around. Between what I have brought in and what the previous owner left, odd sizing and all, there is some decent wood stock around to at least begin such a product. I have saws, a hammer or three, nails, screws, and even a sander along with sand paper. But finding a good larger, sturdier, truly functional design... that is another story. Don't make a solar oven out of cardboard and expect to use it much or for long. Don't use newspaper as your insulation. Many do not even know, or at least use, the formula for optimal reflector angle, based on reflector and glass size. *sigh* But, after a bit of looking, I may have found... if not a legitimate design at least the outline for one. Enough of the specs are there, a picture of the final product, and the thing will heat to around 400, in December (if, I do believe, they live in southern Texas which may or may not have an affect).
Oh, right, here is a link to the device. Further, here is a link to their homepage, if you don't see it at the bottom of that page, as I didn't. Don't feel stupid, either. My job. Urhm, you can take that either way! There is some hinky stuff there, for preppers, homesteaders, and those thinking of going off-the-grid. For me, one project at a time.
I am going to look for engineering paper, go over what information they offer, fill in the blanks with common thicknesses, and try to develop a plan. It'll be hockey until I learn through experience. Perhaps I will keep a running update on the plans, and when I complete it, and test it, if it is indeed successful, I will offer the plans to the originators and, if they allow, publish them. How about them apples? Well, I'm off. Hmm, might even soak dishes and wash some later. Dishes are worse than having to wash behind my ears and stuff! *stomps off sobbing* Can I have a cookie? Actually, yes! Hahahaha It's good to be king.
Later.
Redirect.
.
.
The bike guy wasn't in today. I still have to go to town but I wanted to pick up some topo maps, if possible, today. A little time looking over hiking trails online and taking some notes. As well, I found one of the hiking books. The other hiking book is the one I really want. After searching for it numerous times though, it just isn't to be found. Ah well, I have a couple of ideas for the maps I want. After doing my business, I may see if those maps are available. The 'store' may be closed already though. I have to be in town again tomorrow in any case, for Sam and for the bike. Nothing ever quite happens as it should. So many things end up in some kind of redirect.
I did find some books to read, however, in the interim of making a list then making purchases for my economic bibliotheca. I never did finish the Chesterton pr Lewis books. I did read some of them. That should get me in better shape for more reading in any case. And they are still on my list. I have been contemplating reading out loud, if not all my reading. Oh, I have my reasons. Nothing nefarious mind you, I have heard there are reasons to do so and would like to test the theory.
Oh, but I should get going. I do have things to do and only just so much time to do them. Plus, a meal I don't have to prepare would be good for a change. Later.
.
The bike guy wasn't in today. I still have to go to town but I wanted to pick up some topo maps, if possible, today. A little time looking over hiking trails online and taking some notes. As well, I found one of the hiking books. The other hiking book is the one I really want. After searching for it numerous times though, it just isn't to be found. Ah well, I have a couple of ideas for the maps I want. After doing my business, I may see if those maps are available. The 'store' may be closed already though. I have to be in town again tomorrow in any case, for Sam and for the bike. Nothing ever quite happens as it should. So many things end up in some kind of redirect.
I did find some books to read, however, in the interim of making a list then making purchases for my economic bibliotheca. I never did finish the Chesterton pr Lewis books. I did read some of them. That should get me in better shape for more reading in any case. And they are still on my list. I have been contemplating reading out loud, if not all my reading. Oh, I have my reasons. Nothing nefarious mind you, I have heard there are reasons to do so and would like to test the theory.
Oh, but I should get going. I do have things to do and only just so much time to do them. Plus, a meal I don't have to prepare would be good for a change. Later.
Oh, right...
.
.
Something, as I am improving, I would like to begin digging into is economics. And politics a bit. No, not really the political doings of the day, I already have my eyes on that. If I think it is more for entertainment purposes. So, I have been looking for a beginners list of solid economic chewies. For example, I am most certain "The Road to Serfdom" will be on the list. What I want to do is put a list of, say, twenty books (give or take) on a queue, and begin buying them one way or another and consuming what they offer. Even if my body isn't perfectly stable yet, my mind remains rather licit and cogent. And, I don't mind reading one, two, and three off books. Reading just the so-called good ones isn't my deal. I would like to start with a few 'right' ones, then go off center and beginning looking at the options. No, I don't plan on becoming an economist. This is purely hobby, though there may be real life implications, personal implications.
At some point, after getting my head wrapped around some things, whether twenty books into it or more or less, I will go completely off the reservation. I will begin researching my own questions and doubts and problems. I probably have the math background to at least start a serious undertaking. And, if my mind remains good, I have some serious capacity to dig through skin, meat, organs, gristle, and right into the bones of the matters. I have wanted to do this for a long time I simply did not have enough on the ball to begin... just begin. Now I do, perhaps, but I am not sure where to start. Looked at Vox's place, Mises Institute, found a few lists (which I am not sure about), looked on line... I just want to start it on the right foot.
Off. I need to get going. Really this time. Good day.
.
Something, as I am improving, I would like to begin digging into is economics. And politics a bit. No, not really the political doings of the day, I already have my eyes on that. If I think it is more for entertainment purposes. So, I have been looking for a beginners list of solid economic chewies. For example, I am most certain "The Road to Serfdom" will be on the list. What I want to do is put a list of, say, twenty books (give or take) on a queue, and begin buying them one way or another and consuming what they offer. Even if my body isn't perfectly stable yet, my mind remains rather licit and cogent. And, I don't mind reading one, two, and three off books. Reading just the so-called good ones isn't my deal. I would like to start with a few 'right' ones, then go off center and beginning looking at the options. No, I don't plan on becoming an economist. This is purely hobby, though there may be real life implications, personal implications.
At some point, after getting my head wrapped around some things, whether twenty books into it or more or less, I will go completely off the reservation. I will begin researching my own questions and doubts and problems. I probably have the math background to at least start a serious undertaking. And, if my mind remains good, I have some serious capacity to dig through skin, meat, organs, gristle, and right into the bones of the matters. I have wanted to do this for a long time I simply did not have enough on the ball to begin... just begin. Now I do, perhaps, but I am not sure where to start. Looked at Vox's place, Mises Institute, found a few lists (which I am not sure about), looked on line... I just want to start it on the right foot.
Off. I need to get going. Really this time. Good day.
Okay, keep pushing.
.
.
I didn't get up as early as hoped but earlier than usual, again. I think I can keep doing better. I am fighting for it. If I can use both directions of the clock to affect my sleep cycle, I have more of a chance at becoming more 'normal'. I didn't expect this to be easy. It has been decades since I could pull this little trick off. Oh, don't look cross-eyed at me, it gives me a perfect target to through something wet, stinky, and squishy. I might be in a cage, but there is no shield up. *splat* Talking monkey indeed.
My body is hurting. It has for the last few days, all day. My guess is stopping medicine for two days has... had some kind of effect. I realize more and more than my health issues were directly linked to my heart condition. For twenty years they treated what should easily have been seen as a real medical problem as a psychiatric problem. What idiots. They really don't know or don't care what they are doing, do they? They had to know. The pains are decreasing but slowly.
I am hoping to get out and get that bike set up today. I need to call to make sure the guy is in today. I hear he gets one weekday off. I still have to go to town for other reasons, but there is no need to haul the bike around if I can't get it fixed. I could take it to a shop, but they will charge an arm and a leg, might not be able to see me right away, and might not show me how to do a few things. Money, money, money, that is the way it goes. Sue me if I am dubious.
Tylenol... I had forgotten about that stuff. I might have to take a small handful of the junk again. I have just been suffering through this, but... why? Why? Because I simply didn't think about it. I best get going. Have a good one.
.
I didn't get up as early as hoped but earlier than usual, again. I think I can keep doing better. I am fighting for it. If I can use both directions of the clock to affect my sleep cycle, I have more of a chance at becoming more 'normal'. I didn't expect this to be easy. It has been decades since I could pull this little trick off. Oh, don't look cross-eyed at me, it gives me a perfect target to through something wet, stinky, and squishy. I might be in a cage, but there is no shield up. *splat* Talking monkey indeed.
My body is hurting. It has for the last few days, all day. My guess is stopping medicine for two days has... had some kind of effect. I realize more and more than my health issues were directly linked to my heart condition. For twenty years they treated what should easily have been seen as a real medical problem as a psychiatric problem. What idiots. They really don't know or don't care what they are doing, do they? They had to know. The pains are decreasing but slowly.
I am hoping to get out and get that bike set up today. I need to call to make sure the guy is in today. I hear he gets one weekday off. I still have to go to town for other reasons, but there is no need to haul the bike around if I can't get it fixed. I could take it to a shop, but they will charge an arm and a leg, might not be able to see me right away, and might not show me how to do a few things. Money, money, money, that is the way it goes. Sue me if I am dubious.
Tylenol... I had forgotten about that stuff. I might have to take a small handful of the junk again. I have just been suffering through this, but... why? Why? Because I simply didn't think about it. I best get going. Have a good one.
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
I have to push a bit.
.
.
Several days in the hole, with nothing going forward. A missed appointment, not getting to town today to deal with the bike, not much of anything. The days have been in the 90's, but with humidity in the 17 to 37 percentiles, and it stays warm until late. But that isn't it, not all of it. Whatever, I have to figure things out and get back on some kind of track. I have things to do!
I really want to push those pedals and see the world a bit. And I want to put on the gear I bought for it. Yeah, small but fun. Front and rear lights that are actually seemingly functional for more than just being seen, an additional flashing front light (which works well for a flasher but not for a headlamp (glad I ordered both, at this point)), an expanding clip-on container and the tools I might need which fit in there (along with a little food), either a mud-flap or a rear facing platform to haul things, and a u-lock with a cord for the other tire and a bracket to keep it on the bike when not in use. Perhaps I will buy a new seat and seat shaft, one with a shock absorber, as the bike is a hardtail. Depending on how she rides. Though any additions will have to wait until next month. Which is fine, that gives me time to know if I really need those thing. I will buy a water bottle holder for it, though, when I go in to have it looked at. I decided against fancy... anything, actually. I tried to just buy what would be reasonable as I saw things. My goal is to bike up to five, even ten miles, a few times a week. And perhaps to begin checking my mail more regularly to boot.
It is wonderful to look out my front window and see the clouds just barely making it over the mountains. Oh, sure, they had low clouds in Iowa from time to time, they just didn't have a measuring stick to give you an idea of how low or high the clouds were. And the measuring stick is free of charge. Sometimes, when the clouds are just right, and an opening appears just so, the setting sun reflects off the clouds and spotlights the peaks in the fading gloom. I keep expecting to see a symbol for the Holy Grail up in there or something. Ah, Monty Pythonitis aside, it is a beautiful thing to behold.
Have a great day. Go look at something that gives you reason to marvel. A kid, a mountain, the sky, or even a busy city if that's your thing. Then... marvel.
.
Several days in the hole, with nothing going forward. A missed appointment, not getting to town today to deal with the bike, not much of anything. The days have been in the 90's, but with humidity in the 17 to 37 percentiles, and it stays warm until late. But that isn't it, not all of it. Whatever, I have to figure things out and get back on some kind of track. I have things to do!
I really want to push those pedals and see the world a bit. And I want to put on the gear I bought for it. Yeah, small but fun. Front and rear lights that are actually seemingly functional for more than just being seen, an additional flashing front light (which works well for a flasher but not for a headlamp (glad I ordered both, at this point)), an expanding clip-on container and the tools I might need which fit in there (along with a little food), either a mud-flap or a rear facing platform to haul things, and a u-lock with a cord for the other tire and a bracket to keep it on the bike when not in use. Perhaps I will buy a new seat and seat shaft, one with a shock absorber, as the bike is a hardtail. Depending on how she rides. Though any additions will have to wait until next month. Which is fine, that gives me time to know if I really need those thing. I will buy a water bottle holder for it, though, when I go in to have it looked at. I decided against fancy... anything, actually. I tried to just buy what would be reasonable as I saw things. My goal is to bike up to five, even ten miles, a few times a week. And perhaps to begin checking my mail more regularly to boot.
It is wonderful to look out my front window and see the clouds just barely making it over the mountains. Oh, sure, they had low clouds in Iowa from time to time, they just didn't have a measuring stick to give you an idea of how low or high the clouds were. And the measuring stick is free of charge. Sometimes, when the clouds are just right, and an opening appears just so, the setting sun reflects off the clouds and spotlights the peaks in the fading gloom. I keep expecting to see a symbol for the Holy Grail up in there or something. Ah, Monty Pythonitis aside, it is a beautiful thing to behold.
Have a great day. Go look at something that gives you reason to marvel. A kid, a mountain, the sky, or even a busy city if that's your thing. Then... marvel.
Oh, I hinted...
.
.
In a comment, I indicated that I have... a little problem. I take a molehill and turn it into the Rockies and the Andes, combined. Oh, I don't know what causes it. As I suggested, it might be a genetic thing. One of my most famous ancestors had a similar problem. Here, take a look through the way-back tele machine...
If I do so, and make a mistake. I am awfully sorry. Then again, when I don't do that, I might just underestimate and ignore warnings and portents. As shown by my ancestor's boss, here.
Sometimes I can't win for losing in this game called life. But if you bear with me, I would appreciate it greatly. I'll afford you the same courtesy, as I am able, in any event.
.
In a comment, I indicated that I have... a little problem. I take a molehill and turn it into the Rockies and the Andes, combined. Oh, I don't know what causes it. As I suggested, it might be a genetic thing. One of my most famous ancestors had a similar problem. Here, take a look through the way-back tele machine...
If I do so, and make a mistake. I am awfully sorry. Then again, when I don't do that, I might just underestimate and ignore warnings and portents. As shown by my ancestor's boss, here.
Sometimes I can't win for losing in this game called life. But if you bear with me, I would appreciate it greatly. I'll afford you the same courtesy, as I am able, in any event.
Yeah, it's the heat.
.
.
It does keep me up later and later. Until I do something about it, life will be a bit of a struggle. And, this coming winter, I will probably be keeping the house warming during the day. While I can manage extremes, I don't function as well. Duh. But what also happened is, with the medicines being possibly short, I had meant to ration them. I had a mental block on taking them until I did, but doing so was delayed by a lack of focus, so I missed a few days of medicine. It seems stupid, and is, but in the situation it sort of makes sense... with the givens. Hmm, wasn't as bad as that first time I dropped the meds a day though, thankfully. Well, I did proportion those so I can get 16 days out of them, if needed. More should be on the way and I have an appointment early next week.
The heat does more than mess up my sleep, it also puts me into a more active state, just as the cool and cold of winter can retard activity. I know, it all makes sense, but putting everything that makes sense together coherently takes a basic level of function, a thing that has only come to me recently after a 20 year hiatus. I am figuring everything out that you had probably not only figured out but now have somewhat automated and do without thinking, for the most part. I honestly am amazed I didn't just freeze to death in there somewhere. Seriously.
By the way, did you know if you behead a cockroach that it will not die for days? It only dies from a lack of water. The more I read about them, the more I think they have to be Democrats. And, the bugs that came in have gone. I don't know what they were or where they went, but they have completely deserted my home. They took their many dead with them. I have stuff I put around the house, inside and out, that keeps most bugs out. But these flew in, while I was doing things outside. Whatever. I still haven't figured out what they are. Cockroaches (mostly) don't fly and certainly not in swarms. Some weird kind of beetle? Bah!
.
It does keep me up later and later. Until I do something about it, life will be a bit of a struggle. And, this coming winter, I will probably be keeping the house warming during the day. While I can manage extremes, I don't function as well. Duh. But what also happened is, with the medicines being possibly short, I had meant to ration them. I had a mental block on taking them until I did, but doing so was delayed by a lack of focus, so I missed a few days of medicine. It seems stupid, and is, but in the situation it sort of makes sense... with the givens. Hmm, wasn't as bad as that first time I dropped the meds a day though, thankfully. Well, I did proportion those so I can get 16 days out of them, if needed. More should be on the way and I have an appointment early next week.
The heat does more than mess up my sleep, it also puts me into a more active state, just as the cool and cold of winter can retard activity. I know, it all makes sense, but putting everything that makes sense together coherently takes a basic level of function, a thing that has only come to me recently after a 20 year hiatus. I am figuring everything out that you had probably not only figured out but now have somewhat automated and do without thinking, for the most part. I honestly am amazed I didn't just freeze to death in there somewhere. Seriously.
By the way, did you know if you behead a cockroach that it will not die for days? It only dies from a lack of water. The more I read about them, the more I think they have to be Democrats. And, the bugs that came in have gone. I don't know what they were or where they went, but they have completely deserted my home. They took their many dead with them. I have stuff I put around the house, inside and out, that keeps most bugs out. But these flew in, while I was doing things outside. Whatever. I still haven't figured out what they are. Cockroaches (mostly) don't fly and certainly not in swarms. Some weird kind of beetle? Bah!
Now what.
.
.
While petting Sassy, she 'cat yelped'. I wasn't sure what was wrong, so I looked closely. She has an open wound about half the size of a dime, maybe a little smaller! It is high on her body, right side, above her hind leg and a little forward of it. It might have been a bite, or near bite? I don't know. I will keep an eye on it. And, I seem to be having a bug invasion. These things aren't cockroaches. I have looked at every type of roach of which I could find a picture. They fly, they are in large numbers, they aren't afraid of me, the cats, light, or... anything I can tell. They do fly, they were swarming the light near the back door when I had it on for a bit yesterday. I also looked at "waterbugs". I came up empty there too. Did I mention... I HATE BUGS! With such a wet year, and we are still in the water because of melt, I suppose bugs are going to be everywhere.
Bah, bed time, in any case. Good night, for sure, Kathy, Pam, Sherry, Kristen, Shelly, and... Whatsyourface.
.
While petting Sassy, she 'cat yelped'. I wasn't sure what was wrong, so I looked closely. She has an open wound about half the size of a dime, maybe a little smaller! It is high on her body, right side, above her hind leg and a little forward of it. It might have been a bite, or near bite? I don't know. I will keep an eye on it. And, I seem to be having a bug invasion. These things aren't cockroaches. I have looked at every type of roach of which I could find a picture. They fly, they are in large numbers, they aren't afraid of me, the cats, light, or... anything I can tell. They do fly, they were swarming the light near the back door when I had it on for a bit yesterday. I also looked at "waterbugs". I came up empty there too. Did I mention... I HATE BUGS! With such a wet year, and we are still in the water because of melt, I suppose bugs are going to be everywhere.
Bah, bed time, in any case. Good night, for sure, Kathy, Pam, Sherry, Kristen, Shelly, and... Whatsyourface.
Oh, fine. Maybe so.
.
.
Last summer I seemed to handle the heat well. And, honestly, I still am. However, last summer I wasn't trying as seriously to maintain a schedule, or more, I didn't need to maintain a schedule. While I can handle the temperatures just fine, I also honestly can't get to sleep until I cool off enough. And that means I can't sleep until much later. It is still 79 F, here. Way too warm to sleep. So... I am considering finding an air conditioning unit for my bedroom. Either a floor model type preferably, or a window mounted. I will have to do a bit of research. Preferably a device I can set the temperature with, and have turn off after about an hour or two. Just to take the edge off so I can get to sleep. Between the cooling air at night and very good insulation properties of the house, my room should stay cool enough once cooled for an hour. I would guess 60 F would see me to sleep in a hurry. Cool showers don't even really help, not on a regular basis. Yeah, yeah, but for me to do what I want, I have to do what I have to do.
Bits and pieces are coming together. Figuring out this, that, and the other thing, advancing still like I have never done before. Function might still be low, compared to earlier this summer, but it is still relatively good. So many fine details, details I couldn't feel or see or sense are coming into focus. With my mind and body working together more closely, other problems may be solved.
Oh, I am not sure I will ever be totally functional again. Maybe I never was? But to have more. That is always the goal. It is said better, by a fictional peer, much better, here.
Good night. Maybe.
.
Last summer I seemed to handle the heat well. And, honestly, I still am. However, last summer I wasn't trying as seriously to maintain a schedule, or more, I didn't need to maintain a schedule. While I can handle the temperatures just fine, I also honestly can't get to sleep until I cool off enough. And that means I can't sleep until much later. It is still 79 F, here. Way too warm to sleep. So... I am considering finding an air conditioning unit for my bedroom. Either a floor model type preferably, or a window mounted. I will have to do a bit of research. Preferably a device I can set the temperature with, and have turn off after about an hour or two. Just to take the edge off so I can get to sleep. Between the cooling air at night and very good insulation properties of the house, my room should stay cool enough once cooled for an hour. I would guess 60 F would see me to sleep in a hurry. Cool showers don't even really help, not on a regular basis. Yeah, yeah, but for me to do what I want, I have to do what I have to do.
Bits and pieces are coming together. Figuring out this, that, and the other thing, advancing still like I have never done before. Function might still be low, compared to earlier this summer, but it is still relatively good. So many fine details, details I couldn't feel or see or sense are coming into focus. With my mind and body working together more closely, other problems may be solved.
Oh, I am not sure I will ever be totally functional again. Maybe I never was? But to have more. That is always the goal. It is said better, by a fictional peer, much better, here.
Good night. Maybe.
Monday, July 18, 2011
Ah ha!
.
.
Stupid bike. But! I did figure out the handle bars. They are at maximum height. The difference between this and other bikes, beside having two screws along the length of the fork is that there are spacer circlets around the shaft, from the handlebars to the fork. If you want it shorter, take out up to three spacers. As is, as I said, all three spacers are installed so it is at maximum height. As well, I adjusted the seat to the height I prefer. Further, I now know about the brakes, if I might have another issue.
This time, when I went to work on the brakes, I didn't go in thinking everything was working as it should be. The idea you gave about, perhaps, the caliper not springing back... made me think. Also, I didn't just mess with the brake in that regard, I tinkered with setting it up and further, took the whole break assembly off to tinker and get a better look at all things. Two problems remain.
The problem with the brake itself is that the caliper definitely does not spring back. After taking the whole brake assembly off, and tinkering with it, I was able to get the arm to work. As soon as I reinstalled it, I could no longer get the arm to spring back. The only nuts which might loosen whatever might be binding the arm from springing are meant to be tight. Even so, loosening those didn't seem to help in any case. I will have to take the bike in for that, and probably the other problem too.
When I was adjusting the brake, I noticed that the disc attached to the wheel oscillated in it's path. It would wobble left and right, and quite a bit. This would make braking less sure and I just didn't like it (for a thousand and one personal and mechanical reasons beside what was mentioned). Nope. So, I loosened the tire and tried to tighten it back more evenly. Nope. I tried again with negative results. I will look around online, but there is either a trick to it that isn't straight forward or there is some problem with the bike. Oh, I did check to see if the tire, when loose... or the disc when the tire was loose... whether the disc continued to oscillate. It does not and the tire is "flat", not bent. So, I am guessing I am just not tightening it evenly enough or there is a trick to it.
But, darn it, I got back out and learned a bunch. This IS why I did this. To learn, and learning I am. I am not learning for the sake of learning, I am learning so that I may maintain my own bike, and adjust it. Perhaps to help other people out too. I guess my first problem was assuming all the parts worked as they should. Ah well. Now I know. And I have a better idea of how to go about some things in the future. I only have a mechanical inclination, I really don't have mechanical experience. Thanks for the help!
.
Stupid bike. But! I did figure out the handle bars. They are at maximum height. The difference between this and other bikes, beside having two screws along the length of the fork is that there are spacer circlets around the shaft, from the handlebars to the fork. If you want it shorter, take out up to three spacers. As is, as I said, all three spacers are installed so it is at maximum height. As well, I adjusted the seat to the height I prefer. Further, I now know about the brakes, if I might have another issue.
This time, when I went to work on the brakes, I didn't go in thinking everything was working as it should be. The idea you gave about, perhaps, the caliper not springing back... made me think. Also, I didn't just mess with the brake in that regard, I tinkered with setting it up and further, took the whole break assembly off to tinker and get a better look at all things. Two problems remain.
The problem with the brake itself is that the caliper definitely does not spring back. After taking the whole brake assembly off, and tinkering with it, I was able to get the arm to work. As soon as I reinstalled it, I could no longer get the arm to spring back. The only nuts which might loosen whatever might be binding the arm from springing are meant to be tight. Even so, loosening those didn't seem to help in any case. I will have to take the bike in for that, and probably the other problem too.
When I was adjusting the brake, I noticed that the disc attached to the wheel oscillated in it's path. It would wobble left and right, and quite a bit. This would make braking less sure and I just didn't like it (for a thousand and one personal and mechanical reasons beside what was mentioned). Nope. So, I loosened the tire and tried to tighten it back more evenly. Nope. I tried again with negative results. I will look around online, but there is either a trick to it that isn't straight forward or there is some problem with the bike. Oh, I did check to see if the tire, when loose... or the disc when the tire was loose... whether the disc continued to oscillate. It does not and the tire is "flat", not bent. So, I am guessing I am just not tightening it evenly enough or there is a trick to it.
But, darn it, I got back out and learned a bunch. This IS why I did this. To learn, and learning I am. I am not learning for the sake of learning, I am learning so that I may maintain my own bike, and adjust it. Perhaps to help other people out too. I guess my first problem was assuming all the parts worked as they should. Ah well. Now I know. And I have a better idea of how to go about some things in the future. I only have a mechanical inclination, I really don't have mechanical experience. Thanks for the help!
Hmm.
.
.
I just noticed something. While I am seemingly in a down phase, my blood pressure is up but felt fluid levels are down. So perhaps blood pressure is the problem? But something else noticeable is that I am strengthening very quickly. Just the bits I do, like working on my bike, seem to add muscle very rapidly. Not that I look like the hulk, or hugely bulk up, but... from my tinkering on the bike, a few hours at a time, several times, my forearms are noticeably larger and definitely tighter. While that doesn't seem possible, I know it is not fluid somehow, and I am sure it is true. With the water gone, I am bulking up very fast. If I could focus, if I had the energy, working out, biking, and hiking would immensely improve actual strength or size or both. I am not sure if that is a natural trait to me or if it is my body doing what it can while it is able to do so, sort of making up for lost time.
About stamina? I don't really have a way to measure that yet. With the bike going, I might be able to ascertain quality and quantity of that. Though I think it is adjusting upward if at a slower pace. I also don't seem to be losing a lot of fat. I had hoped more regular small meals and simply being even more active than after my initial move here would help with fat loss. I think I have plateaued as far as simply being more active and weight loss, and then lost all the water weight I will. The rest will take a effort. I don't want to lose it all, just to drop another twenty pounds and I will be good. For a bruiser I have a pencil neck, so that measure of BMI doesn't work for me. I have to go by weight and function.
I also wonder if bulking up causes me to tire more easily, odd as that may sound. The body doesn't just order out for muscle, it builds it. It takes raw materials, finds damaged muscle fibers, and through a chemical process heavily in need of protein (a prime substance in what I eat) knits muscle. I am tightening everywhere, but whichever part sees the most work gets the most size... forearms, in this case, currently. Or, I could be all wrong. It has happened, you know. Maybe my eyes, and other senses, are going bad. But I think it is true.
.
I just noticed something. While I am seemingly in a down phase, my blood pressure is up but felt fluid levels are down. So perhaps blood pressure is the problem? But something else noticeable is that I am strengthening very quickly. Just the bits I do, like working on my bike, seem to add muscle very rapidly. Not that I look like the hulk, or hugely bulk up, but... from my tinkering on the bike, a few hours at a time, several times, my forearms are noticeably larger and definitely tighter. While that doesn't seem possible, I know it is not fluid somehow, and I am sure it is true. With the water gone, I am bulking up very fast. If I could focus, if I had the energy, working out, biking, and hiking would immensely improve actual strength or size or both. I am not sure if that is a natural trait to me or if it is my body doing what it can while it is able to do so, sort of making up for lost time.
About stamina? I don't really have a way to measure that yet. With the bike going, I might be able to ascertain quality and quantity of that. Though I think it is adjusting upward if at a slower pace. I also don't seem to be losing a lot of fat. I had hoped more regular small meals and simply being even more active than after my initial move here would help with fat loss. I think I have plateaued as far as simply being more active and weight loss, and then lost all the water weight I will. The rest will take a effort. I don't want to lose it all, just to drop another twenty pounds and I will be good. For a bruiser I have a pencil neck, so that measure of BMI doesn't work for me. I have to go by weight and function.
I also wonder if bulking up causes me to tire more easily, odd as that may sound. The body doesn't just order out for muscle, it builds it. It takes raw materials, finds damaged muscle fibers, and through a chemical process heavily in need of protein (a prime substance in what I eat) knits muscle. I am tightening everywhere, but whichever part sees the most work gets the most size... forearms, in this case, currently. Or, I could be all wrong. It has happened, you know. Maybe my eyes, and other senses, are going bad. But I think it is true.
If you are going to mess up...
.
.
Fix it. And I did. Right away, more or less. I had to get my head screwed on right. Between missing appointments, not sleeping well, doing too much last night with too little to work with, and trying to keep balance while I stumble around in the dark, life has been rough this morning. It took a long time to get my feet under me again. But when I did, it has been grand so far.
I contacted the V.A. heart clinic. They had been about to call me. They were actually worried. Wow, they really do think I am about to kick the bucket. This isn't a mild condition, at this level, for most people. Sure, I am only operating at 30% on good days, but I shouldn't be operating at all. This level of heart failure floors most people, and kills a good chunk of them to boot. No, don't even worry. Won't happen. I've got decades left. Of course, that means decades more of whining about it, so don't go getting all happy.
I made another appointment, assured them I was fine, apologized profusely (which seemed to amaze the operator), and am back in good standing. I also called and made an appointment to set up the CPAP after the cardiology appointment. I got directions and have a general idea where they are. I even put these into my smart phone already.
What a little bugger-boo can do to help get one off on the right foot. It seems a little hot and muggy, and I am still reeling from the mistake, so I will give myself a few hours before getting to the bike. From 17:00 to 20:00, if it takes it. I would like to go in to town again today, but will hold off until tomorrow. I will do a ton of business when I take the bike in, if it fits in the X. Bah! Everything is conditional, based on things you can't know, regarding things you aren't sure about. While you can know any one or two or three things, the rest of it is a blur. Or, is that just me? Never... mind... *huff*
.
Fix it. And I did. Right away, more or less. I had to get my head screwed on right. Between missing appointments, not sleeping well, doing too much last night with too little to work with, and trying to keep balance while I stumble around in the dark, life has been rough this morning. It took a long time to get my feet under me again. But when I did, it has been grand so far.
I contacted the V.A. heart clinic. They had been about to call me. They were actually worried. Wow, they really do think I am about to kick the bucket. This isn't a mild condition, at this level, for most people. Sure, I am only operating at 30% on good days, but I shouldn't be operating at all. This level of heart failure floors most people, and kills a good chunk of them to boot. No, don't even worry. Won't happen. I've got decades left. Of course, that means decades more of whining about it, so don't go getting all happy.
I made another appointment, assured them I was fine, apologized profusely (which seemed to amaze the operator), and am back in good standing. I also called and made an appointment to set up the CPAP after the cardiology appointment. I got directions and have a general idea where they are. I even put these into my smart phone already.
What a little bugger-boo can do to help get one off on the right foot. It seems a little hot and muggy, and I am still reeling from the mistake, so I will give myself a few hours before getting to the bike. From 17:00 to 20:00, if it takes it. I would like to go in to town again today, but will hold off until tomorrow. I will do a ton of business when I take the bike in, if it fits in the X. Bah! Everything is conditional, based on things you can't know, regarding things you aren't sure about. While you can know any one or two or three things, the rest of it is a blur. Or, is that just me? Never... mind... *huff*
Dang it, again!
.
.
I missed my appointment today. I did get the trash out, changed litter, and did a few other things. But I simply could not get going and it ended up that the chores were done late. I then could not cool down to sleep, which I simply could not skip this time. I did set the alarm but might as well not have. Waking at 8:00, far too late to make a two hour drive and far too out of things to do so even if the drive was shorter, I went back to bed until noon or so. I will call and figure things out shortly.
And it is already becoming too late to take the bike in. So, I will tinker with it today. D.C. has been offering advice on it. The thing is, this bike is not standard. Some of it makes sense, like not using the top bolt on the handle bars. I know that from having had to install it. The top bolt loosens the front tire shaft from the handle bars. But there are two bolts on the column instead of one. Now, in this instance, the advice makes sense because I know. In others, what does what, where it is, how it works, is all unknown. I keep tinkering though. Dratted thing. Then again, the reason I wanted to try this, assembling it myself, was to learn. And, if slowly and painfully, I am learning. *grins* I love pestering you all. But I really like pestering myself too. Thing is, I need to get this bike up and running, so tomorrow I will get that bike in if it kills me (assuming I don't somehow get it going today). Well, maybe even then to have it checked out.
I will let you know some of the answers (why the "w" in answer... just... aking) to some of your questions, D.C. I hadn't been able to get to working on the bike and didn't know when you queried. I will know later today. About the swing arm, and some other things.
Well, have a great day anyway. I will try. Hey, it's the first appointment I actually missed without calling in six months or a year (uhrm, with a few oddities excluded... not misses, just... reconsiderations or such). Good day.
.
I missed my appointment today. I did get the trash out, changed litter, and did a few other things. But I simply could not get going and it ended up that the chores were done late. I then could not cool down to sleep, which I simply could not skip this time. I did set the alarm but might as well not have. Waking at 8:00, far too late to make a two hour drive and far too out of things to do so even if the drive was shorter, I went back to bed until noon or so. I will call and figure things out shortly.
And it is already becoming too late to take the bike in. So, I will tinker with it today. D.C. has been offering advice on it. The thing is, this bike is not standard. Some of it makes sense, like not using the top bolt on the handle bars. I know that from having had to install it. The top bolt loosens the front tire shaft from the handle bars. But there are two bolts on the column instead of one. Now, in this instance, the advice makes sense because I know. In others, what does what, where it is, how it works, is all unknown. I keep tinkering though. Dratted thing. Then again, the reason I wanted to try this, assembling it myself, was to learn. And, if slowly and painfully, I am learning. *grins* I love pestering you all. But I really like pestering myself too. Thing is, I need to get this bike up and running, so tomorrow I will get that bike in if it kills me (assuming I don't somehow get it going today). Well, maybe even then to have it checked out.
I will let you know some of the answers (why the "w" in answer... just... aking) to some of your questions, D.C. I hadn't been able to get to working on the bike and didn't know when you queried. I will know later today. About the swing arm, and some other things.
Well, have a great day anyway. I will try. Hey, it's the first appointment I actually missed without calling in six months or a year (uhrm, with a few oddities excluded... not misses, just... reconsiderations or such). Good day.
Sunday, July 17, 2011
A good day.
.
.
I made it to town. I had not choice. I was out of tobacco and the cigars just weren't cutting it. I couldn't find my pipe tobacco either, which might have worked better. While in town taking care of my vices, I decided to stop at the store. With some checks loaded into my account, I was able to buy enough meat to last me through the month... or close to it. I should be set for food, though milk might become a bit shy.
I need to stock up on more short term foods, like cans of tuna, pasta, and such. I still have some rice and grains, and the beans and white rice for longer term. But canned veggies, tuna, and a few other things would be very helpful. The less prep needed, the better. Of course, in slow times, I turn to these foods heavily while being less able to get out to replenish. I'm... working on it. But right now money is a bit on the shy side. And next month I have all the 'birthday' bills, taxes on home and auto, insurance, and a ticket for my mother. I should be fine, am fine, I just don't want to get down to zero. I have a very small nest-egg, or more emergency fund. I would like to triple that, but like cases of tuna, that won't happen in the extremely near future.
With it getting so hot, and Sam staying out all day, I am now taking water out to her. I didn't get the water out until a bit past noon today and she consumed about half of those glass ramekins of water in... moments. I was absolutely amazed. I hadn't watched her do that before. Wow. I would like to take food out but she eats so little the food would just draw others, not just cats. Racoons and who knows what else, lurking around.
An appointment in the morning, early. I need to cook some food, I found a ribeye on sale, along with some inexpensive pork cuts wrapped in bacon. The other meats are in the freezer. I love cooking once or twice a week and just coasting on that as long as I can. A grill is a wonderful thing, too, in the summer. Oh, and I best get the trash out and the cat litter and boxes changed out. Those closed boxes are working quite well, once the girls decided they were okay. I never did find any poop around, thankfully. Anyway, that's it in a nutshell. Good night.
.
I made it to town. I had not choice. I was out of tobacco and the cigars just weren't cutting it. I couldn't find my pipe tobacco either, which might have worked better. While in town taking care of my vices, I decided to stop at the store. With some checks loaded into my account, I was able to buy enough meat to last me through the month... or close to it. I should be set for food, though milk might become a bit shy.
I need to stock up on more short term foods, like cans of tuna, pasta, and such. I still have some rice and grains, and the beans and white rice for longer term. But canned veggies, tuna, and a few other things would be very helpful. The less prep needed, the better. Of course, in slow times, I turn to these foods heavily while being less able to get out to replenish. I'm... working on it. But right now money is a bit on the shy side. And next month I have all the 'birthday' bills, taxes on home and auto, insurance, and a ticket for my mother. I should be fine, am fine, I just don't want to get down to zero. I have a very small nest-egg, or more emergency fund. I would like to triple that, but like cases of tuna, that won't happen in the extremely near future.
With it getting so hot, and Sam staying out all day, I am now taking water out to her. I didn't get the water out until a bit past noon today and she consumed about half of those glass ramekins of water in... moments. I was absolutely amazed. I hadn't watched her do that before. Wow. I would like to take food out but she eats so little the food would just draw others, not just cats. Racoons and who knows what else, lurking around.
An appointment in the morning, early. I need to cook some food, I found a ribeye on sale, along with some inexpensive pork cuts wrapped in bacon. The other meats are in the freezer. I love cooking once or twice a week and just coasting on that as long as I can. A grill is a wonderful thing, too, in the summer. Oh, and I best get the trash out and the cat litter and boxes changed out. Those closed boxes are working quite well, once the girls decided they were okay. I never did find any poop around, thankfully. Anyway, that's it in a nutshell. Good night.
What to do?
.
.
I used to be a sort of bison man. No, I looked and seemed gentle, sleepy, often even pleasantly stupid. So does a real bison. Until you stick your nose in his ao. Or even if he thinks you might be considering it. Or, heck, even if you look like someone who once tried it. Maybe just because. Depends on the day. I did things just as wild and wooly, but with the addition of intent and the capacity to sin. I know better and do it anyway, more so when I didn't understand, care. I have worked hard to reform my life. Okay, painting a red barely street legal hot-rod a pleasant blue doesn't really change much. Even putting on sensible sound dampening mufflers isn't going to do much, I can make up the horsepower loss by focusing on shifting just a tadge more. And, to a degree, there isn't much I can do, save indicate a different direction.
So, what to do when someone asks me about the how to's of my past. Do I say, well, punch him in the face three times, if he laughs at that mash his nads until he is bleeding through his nose, taste his drink if you like it take it if you don't spit in it, take his wallet, and ask his girlfriend out? Or am I supposed to say, well, just avoid him. And if he continues to bug you, call the police? Hell, I wouldn't do that even today. I simply am not sure whether I should be giving advice. First of all, I was lucky to survive half of it. Luckily no one decided I was too stacked so a gun was necessary, or a knife. Or, well, no one with a knife quite... got it in me, no where vital, or... yea. And, I didn't end up with any of the diseases out there, I don't have a dozen kids (that I know of), I wasn't shot beside in fights by a jealous husband or boyfriend, an angry dad, brother, or even the woman herself. Though all of those had good cause, at some point. If there is a way to do something wrong, I know it. At least in the straight and fighting world. I don't think most people are geared for it.
Whether right or wrong in my self-assessment and approaches, even if it is all fiction or all true, doesn't matter. If it works. And it does. If you do what you are supposed to do. But, do you want to? Really? Are you able to pull it off? Are you sure? If you are hesitating at all answering these questions, getting Ms. Siouxsie R. C.'s bra undone without giggling ain't going to happen. Don't mess. Yoda, again... do, or do not... there is no 'try'. I've stayed celibate for years, trying to get my head wrapped around right. I doubt it worked, then again I don't have four common and two exotic venereal diseases. I don't have 3 kids from 5 mothers, somehow, at least recently (I'm just saying, it gets a little dirty and gnarly in the love drama thing). I simply am not sure. Some people really shouldn't even have sugar! Be careful, that's all I'm saying.
.
I used to be a sort of bison man. No, I looked and seemed gentle, sleepy, often even pleasantly stupid. So does a real bison. Until you stick your nose in his ao. Or even if he thinks you might be considering it. Or, heck, even if you look like someone who once tried it. Maybe just because. Depends on the day. I did things just as wild and wooly, but with the addition of intent and the capacity to sin. I know better and do it anyway, more so when I didn't understand, care. I have worked hard to reform my life. Okay, painting a red barely street legal hot-rod a pleasant blue doesn't really change much. Even putting on sensible sound dampening mufflers isn't going to do much, I can make up the horsepower loss by focusing on shifting just a tadge more. And, to a degree, there isn't much I can do, save indicate a different direction.
So, what to do when someone asks me about the how to's of my past. Do I say, well, punch him in the face three times, if he laughs at that mash his nads until he is bleeding through his nose, taste his drink if you like it take it if you don't spit in it, take his wallet, and ask his girlfriend out? Or am I supposed to say, well, just avoid him. And if he continues to bug you, call the police? Hell, I wouldn't do that even today. I simply am not sure whether I should be giving advice. First of all, I was lucky to survive half of it. Luckily no one decided I was too stacked so a gun was necessary, or a knife. Or, well, no one with a knife quite... got it in me, no where vital, or... yea. And, I didn't end up with any of the diseases out there, I don't have a dozen kids (that I know of), I wasn't shot beside in fights by a jealous husband or boyfriend, an angry dad, brother, or even the woman herself. Though all of those had good cause, at some point. If there is a way to do something wrong, I know it. At least in the straight and fighting world. I don't think most people are geared for it.
Whether right or wrong in my self-assessment and approaches, even if it is all fiction or all true, doesn't matter. If it works. And it does. If you do what you are supposed to do. But, do you want to? Really? Are you able to pull it off? Are you sure? If you are hesitating at all answering these questions, getting Ms. Siouxsie R. C.'s bra undone without giggling ain't going to happen. Don't mess. Yoda, again... do, or do not... there is no 'try'. I've stayed celibate for years, trying to get my head wrapped around right. I doubt it worked, then again I don't have four common and two exotic venereal diseases. I don't have 3 kids from 5 mothers, somehow, at least recently (I'm just saying, it gets a little dirty and gnarly in the love drama thing). I simply am not sure. Some people really shouldn't even have sugar! Be careful, that's all I'm saying.
A little success, already?
.
.
Yep. Up earlier. For now it is considered a small victory. Should I be able to maintain waking earlier, however, it will be a downright coup against an entrenched personal paradigm. In the last two decades, while I have had better health, more function, and at times could run a regular schedule for a while, I never could reverse my sleep patterns. I could never get up earlier, on a regular basis. If I wanted to change my sleep patterns from day to night I had to change my internal clock by staying up later and later, never being able to just get up earlier. Of course, as much as I am lacking function, I am not sure what that is worth, really. Never mind, I'll take it if I can keep it. Perhaps in time all these improvements will come together all at one time.
While today is a day of rest, as I have said before, since I am sort of resigned to rest on far too many days, if I can work today, I will. God has to understand that. I think D.C. probably gets some allowance too. Oh, and perhaps you there. You know who you are. There is no way He couldn't. While some are quite stringent, and should be if they lead a typical life, I have to give allowances. Oh, I probably won't get to putting the roof on the coop, mind you. Simply dishes. If I could find a way to finishing those up today, I will. And, I am going to look the bike over. Damned brakes! I won't give it more than an hour of time though. I am thinking about seeing if I can fit the thing in my vehicle. If I can, and then use bungee cords to secure it, I will take it on my trip. I should be back through town early enough to take it in to the bike assembler. Besides, I have other questions. The handlebars are supposed to be adjustable, for example, height-wise. I would very much like them higher than what they are. I really didn't find that to be the case if I became 'violently' distracted by the brakes so I haven't dug into it. And I am curious about how to set it up for more serious inclines, should I get to that point. I will probably never truly mountain bike, and I don't think this would be the rig to run with that, so I simply need ideas to optimize this for a street, or at most gravel, and some hills, bike. Keep it stupid, Simple! :p
While in town I will do a bit more shopping. I skipped meat the last time I shopped. I had some here at home, if just a bit, and my money was a little shy last time. So, I went with cheap and easy, save for a true old school Italian sausage (cold cut variety). I still had plenty of cheese and crackers. Carrots, apples, milk, celery, and a very few other things, price calculating as I went, saw me through $36 of the $39 in my pocket. Ah well.
While looking at various livestock last night, I hit upon a notion. I have been wanting a haul trailer, of some sort, for a while. If I start buying and perhaps selling goats, or even a cow, and with a horse on the wish list, I looked for trailers. I saw one horse trailer, last night, for less than any of the haul trailers I have seen, in excellent shape, which could easily work for anything I would need. I don't quite have the money currently, but I now have an idea that could cut certain expected expenses substantially. I could easily haul furniture, branches and leaves over to the city drop site, and any of the animals I might purchase, probably sum total, in an older but well maintained four horse trailer. Sure, quite a large item to tow, but... not even all that if designed a little wider and shorter.
When you seem at wits end about some things, there always seems to be a way if you are patient (and rich). :p Ah, in time. And a good thing. Too much money could get me in way over my head faster than lightening. Still, if I had the cash, and after looking the thing over to make sure it was as solid as promised (now I honestly have some capacity to do that, meaning I would take my heavy rubber mallet to check... the tires and for rust under paint and thinned walls/flooring), I would buy that. A steal at a little under $4k (if all true). And I bet if "all I had" was $3k, I might even be able to walk with it. Well, not REALLY walk with it. Work with me people!
Have a great day.
.
Yep. Up earlier. For now it is considered a small victory. Should I be able to maintain waking earlier, however, it will be a downright coup against an entrenched personal paradigm. In the last two decades, while I have had better health, more function, and at times could run a regular schedule for a while, I never could reverse my sleep patterns. I could never get up earlier, on a regular basis. If I wanted to change my sleep patterns from day to night I had to change my internal clock by staying up later and later, never being able to just get up earlier. Of course, as much as I am lacking function, I am not sure what that is worth, really. Never mind, I'll take it if I can keep it. Perhaps in time all these improvements will come together all at one time.
While today is a day of rest, as I have said before, since I am sort of resigned to rest on far too many days, if I can work today, I will. God has to understand that. I think D.C. probably gets some allowance too. Oh, and perhaps you there. You know who you are. There is no way He couldn't. While some are quite stringent, and should be if they lead a typical life, I have to give allowances. Oh, I probably won't get to putting the roof on the coop, mind you. Simply dishes. If I could find a way to finishing those up today, I will. And, I am going to look the bike over. Damned brakes! I won't give it more than an hour of time though. I am thinking about seeing if I can fit the thing in my vehicle. If I can, and then use bungee cords to secure it, I will take it on my trip. I should be back through town early enough to take it in to the bike assembler. Besides, I have other questions. The handlebars are supposed to be adjustable, for example, height-wise. I would very much like them higher than what they are. I really didn't find that to be the case if I became 'violently' distracted by the brakes so I haven't dug into it. And I am curious about how to set it up for more serious inclines, should I get to that point. I will probably never truly mountain bike, and I don't think this would be the rig to run with that, so I simply need ideas to optimize this for a street, or at most gravel, and some hills, bike. Keep it stupid, Simple! :p
While in town I will do a bit more shopping. I skipped meat the last time I shopped. I had some here at home, if just a bit, and my money was a little shy last time. So, I went with cheap and easy, save for a true old school Italian sausage (cold cut variety). I still had plenty of cheese and crackers. Carrots, apples, milk, celery, and a very few other things, price calculating as I went, saw me through $36 of the $39 in my pocket. Ah well.
While looking at various livestock last night, I hit upon a notion. I have been wanting a haul trailer, of some sort, for a while. If I start buying and perhaps selling goats, or even a cow, and with a horse on the wish list, I looked for trailers. I saw one horse trailer, last night, for less than any of the haul trailers I have seen, in excellent shape, which could easily work for anything I would need. I don't quite have the money currently, but I now have an idea that could cut certain expected expenses substantially. I could easily haul furniture, branches and leaves over to the city drop site, and any of the animals I might purchase, probably sum total, in an older but well maintained four horse trailer. Sure, quite a large item to tow, but... not even all that if designed a little wider and shorter.
When you seem at wits end about some things, there always seems to be a way if you are patient (and rich). :p Ah, in time. And a good thing. Too much money could get me in way over my head faster than lightening. Still, if I had the cash, and after looking the thing over to make sure it was as solid as promised (now I honestly have some capacity to do that, meaning I would take my heavy rubber mallet to check... the tires and for rust under paint and thinned walls/flooring), I would buy that. A steal at a little under $4k (if all true). And I bet if "all I had" was $3k, I might even be able to walk with it. Well, not REALLY walk with it. Work with me people!
Have a great day.
While not sleeping...
.
.
Though I would much rather have been asleep several hours ago, it just didn't happen. So, I started researching chickens and goats. It seems the prices have come down quite a bit on Boer goats, as I am seeing purebreds in the $100 range, plus or minus $40. Big goats, but fairly docile. Great for meat. But that would mean I might need a doe or two for milk, another breed. Actually, two meat does and one milk doe would probably be my notion of correct proportions. I don't know, over time I will figure that out. As for chickens, so far I think the New Hampshire Red seems to be my pick. I will look over breeds more in the next weeks. A single breed seems fine by me, especially a dual purpose breed. But first, the roof and feed and water systems. Oh, and perhaps purchasing a solar panel to power a single light and timer for the light, for in the coop. Uhrm, oh, and getting the coop and area cleaned out and a run constructed. Bah!
During the day, in spite of realizing it was Saturday earlier in the day, I began to believe it was Sunday by mid-afternoon. Oh well, at least I didn't think it was Monday and head to SLC or something. Could have happened. I am hoping that as bad as things are is as bad as they will get. It is starting to get rough around the edges. Life is becoming complicated. Motivation is well and truly gone. Ah well, for now I at least feel good. And I am keeping up on everything but dishes. Bleh. And the cats still love me, sort of. Sassy really is still a kitty. She looks full grown, and acts it mostly, but she is still very dependent. She is also a bit more moody than she needs to be, though that might be an immature form of jealousy. But she has learned not to claw, Sam has always been quite kind about not puncturing my skin.
Good night. A bowl of cherries and a glass of milk should see me well into sleep. Good night for certain.
.
Though I would much rather have been asleep several hours ago, it just didn't happen. So, I started researching chickens and goats. It seems the prices have come down quite a bit on Boer goats, as I am seeing purebreds in the $100 range, plus or minus $40. Big goats, but fairly docile. Great for meat. But that would mean I might need a doe or two for milk, another breed. Actually, two meat does and one milk doe would probably be my notion of correct proportions. I don't know, over time I will figure that out. As for chickens, so far I think the New Hampshire Red seems to be my pick. I will look over breeds more in the next weeks. A single breed seems fine by me, especially a dual purpose breed. But first, the roof and feed and water systems. Oh, and perhaps purchasing a solar panel to power a single light and timer for the light, for in the coop. Uhrm, oh, and getting the coop and area cleaned out and a run constructed. Bah!
During the day, in spite of realizing it was Saturday earlier in the day, I began to believe it was Sunday by mid-afternoon. Oh well, at least I didn't think it was Monday and head to SLC or something. Could have happened. I am hoping that as bad as things are is as bad as they will get. It is starting to get rough around the edges. Life is becoming complicated. Motivation is well and truly gone. Ah well, for now I at least feel good. And I am keeping up on everything but dishes. Bleh. And the cats still love me, sort of. Sassy really is still a kitty. She looks full grown, and acts it mostly, but she is still very dependent. She is also a bit more moody than she needs to be, though that might be an immature form of jealousy. But she has learned not to claw, Sam has always been quite kind about not puncturing my skin.
Good night. A bowl of cherries and a glass of milk should see me well into sleep. Good night for certain.
Saturday, July 16, 2011
Hitting the wall and thinking about it.
.
.
My plan was to make it to S.o.Reconciliation today. It didn't happen. Not that I didn't want it to, merely that I could not go at that specific time. I started thinking about it. Why can I go to town, or a few other things, seemingly when I want to? Actually, because I can't. I go when I am able and often describe it as going when I want. I have missed going in to speak with the bike guys at Walmart... for a while now. Even now that I know when they will be there, and I am awake and moving, it just doesn't get done. Oh, I definitely want that tended. So, I may have to, again, call in and try to make contact with the priest.
My phone, out here, sometimes does not connect. People call me and their call neither rings through nor indicates that someone tried to call. And, should they happen to leave a phone message, I don't see an indication for it. I use Verizon, so it's not some fly-by-night company. It isn't a battery thing, either. I maintain that quite well, as of late. Only on days with very many calls might I run a bit low and shut off the phone. But that is a different thing. And, even then, when I turn the phone back on, I see all the information about people who have tried to call and an indicator that messages might be available. I don't know if it is the valley shape, weather, or Verizon having technical problems. I use a, now discontinued, Blackberry flip phone (I hate micro-tablets). Bothersome. This whole world is. No matter how good of a product they produce, they either never get it just right, it is way off, or they get it perfect then screw us for profit or because of politics. *grumble, mumble, and other stuff*
Just... complaining. I can't seem to do much else. God, please, function or death? Then again, His will, not mine.
.
My plan was to make it to S.o.Reconciliation today. It didn't happen. Not that I didn't want it to, merely that I could not go at that specific time. I started thinking about it. Why can I go to town, or a few other things, seemingly when I want to? Actually, because I can't. I go when I am able and often describe it as going when I want. I have missed going in to speak with the bike guys at Walmart... for a while now. Even now that I know when they will be there, and I am awake and moving, it just doesn't get done. Oh, I definitely want that tended. So, I may have to, again, call in and try to make contact with the priest.
My phone, out here, sometimes does not connect. People call me and their call neither rings through nor indicates that someone tried to call. And, should they happen to leave a phone message, I don't see an indication for it. I use Verizon, so it's not some fly-by-night company. It isn't a battery thing, either. I maintain that quite well, as of late. Only on days with very many calls might I run a bit low and shut off the phone. But that is a different thing. And, even then, when I turn the phone back on, I see all the information about people who have tried to call and an indicator that messages might be available. I don't know if it is the valley shape, weather, or Verizon having technical problems. I use a, now discontinued, Blackberry flip phone (I hate micro-tablets). Bothersome. This whole world is. No matter how good of a product they produce, they either never get it just right, it is way off, or they get it perfect then screw us for profit or because of politics. *grumble, mumble, and other stuff*
Just... complaining. I can't seem to do much else. God, please, function or death? Then again, His will, not mine.
Feminists and feminism.
.
.
Feminism, actually, is being blamed or given credit (depending on how you see things) for things it has and had zero ability to create, developed, or let loose upon the world. Many people accredit feminism with providing women with the ability to vote. It was men who had the power to choose whether to give women the ability to vote. There are many other things which have been allowed, offered to women. Feminism has had nearly no real successes. What has advanced those "rights", what is behind it, is... men. Not just any men, however.
When you look at recent history, you will find the fathers of suffrage in actual practice. Among the first to force the issue of allowing women to vote was Lenin. Hitler followed suit, as I suspect did Mussolini, Mao, Pol Pot (if his revolution ever got to the point of elections), and others. A rogues gallery of real feminists. There is a reason why it is said that when communism/socialism is voted in, that is the last free election. My guess is, that became true in America the day our socialists gave women the "right" to vote, then on to a "right" to employment on an "equal" status, and the rest of their "rights". Feminism had nothing to do with it. Feminists are jokes, even they know they are merely cheerleaders for socialists and communists and all things illogical, evil, bastardized. I just thought to set the record straight.
Of course, now, almost all women are feminists. Find one who chooses not to vote, doesn't arbitrarily subject the world to her opinion, doesn't pursue an "education", and finds a man to be her husband and quietly raises children. At that point, then she has more of a valid position by which to discuss her opinion. Her opinion is then based within the worth of her nature, is based upon the continued success of her family, and should be in support of her husband's ability to reasonably care for her and their family. All others, my friends, are now merely feminists. Regardless of the words out of their mouths.
Oh, sure, some truly cannot have children. Yes, and even God speaks to this. He says of them that they, too, are blessed. For they will remain forever children. If it isn't based on a dark "choice".
.
Feminism, actually, is being blamed or given credit (depending on how you see things) for things it has and had zero ability to create, developed, or let loose upon the world. Many people accredit feminism with providing women with the ability to vote. It was men who had the power to choose whether to give women the ability to vote. There are many other things which have been allowed, offered to women. Feminism has had nearly no real successes. What has advanced those "rights", what is behind it, is... men. Not just any men, however.
When you look at recent history, you will find the fathers of suffrage in actual practice. Among the first to force the issue of allowing women to vote was Lenin. Hitler followed suit, as I suspect did Mussolini, Mao, Pol Pot (if his revolution ever got to the point of elections), and others. A rogues gallery of real feminists. There is a reason why it is said that when communism/socialism is voted in, that is the last free election. My guess is, that became true in America the day our socialists gave women the "right" to vote, then on to a "right" to employment on an "equal" status, and the rest of their "rights". Feminism had nothing to do with it. Feminists are jokes, even they know they are merely cheerleaders for socialists and communists and all things illogical, evil, bastardized. I just thought to set the record straight.
Of course, now, almost all women are feminists. Find one who chooses not to vote, doesn't arbitrarily subject the world to her opinion, doesn't pursue an "education", and finds a man to be her husband and quietly raises children. At that point, then she has more of a valid position by which to discuss her opinion. Her opinion is then based within the worth of her nature, is based upon the continued success of her family, and should be in support of her husband's ability to reasonably care for her and their family. All others, my friends, are now merely feminists. Regardless of the words out of their mouths.
Oh, sure, some truly cannot have children. Yes, and even God speaks to this. He says of them that they, too, are blessed. For they will remain forever children. If it isn't based on a dark "choice".
Just... waking... huh? up.
.
.
Oh well. I have been staying up a bit later and of course waking a bit later. It sure beats what was about to happen. I had been headed in a serious clock twister sleep cycle. Fixing the fluid levels, I have to think, stopped that. While the felt fluid levels, the felt need to cough, and some of my abilities are better (to a lesser degree), my blood pressure is back up. I can't seem to win. Oh well. I will keep doing what I can, when I can. It is still more than what I have been able to do for decades. And yet it is still a crippled life. But hey, I'm breathing like a man out of water, not a fish out of water. I am doing some things, like tracking and mostly making appointments. I am sleeping around eight hours a night. I wake refreshed. I eat regularly, am able to take the medicine which seems to be helping, I am tracking weight and stats. Pretty limited but at least it is a ton more than ever before. And, perhaps, this is just a low? If so, it is what I had hoped my lows would be.
Today IS the day. The Sacrament of Reconciliation, the beginning of me seeking out the Eucharist, a fresh start. I will begin exploring which times and places better suit my nature, my comfort level. No, not so much seeking what I 'want' so much as what will not be so uncomfortable that I go less often. If I am not a wolf in sheep's clothing, which I do contend. If I am not a sheep either, which I also contend. Then I am a sheep dog. As such, and being retired or disabled, I really don't want a lot to do with groups of sheep and I have outright enmity toward wolves. Is there a church for my kind? I doubt it. So I have to find a Church which will suffice, has fewer people would be my guess. The truth can hurt, but if all else fails, the truth is what remains.
I'll get to waking up, then see what is left of the day to make my plans and do some work or chores or tinkering. Oh, and no pains in the morning or through the day! I really don't understand why pain would go away. But it has. I don't even get headaches anymore. They were a facet of my life since disability began. It is strange not to have them. I had even learned to function (to the level I ever could function) right through the worst of them, the migraines... usually. Perhaps that 'education' is what allowed me to not sense severe pain when cut and such? Who knows.
Have a great day. Do what you can, this day will never be around to do over again.
.
Oh well. I have been staying up a bit later and of course waking a bit later. It sure beats what was about to happen. I had been headed in a serious clock twister sleep cycle. Fixing the fluid levels, I have to think, stopped that. While the felt fluid levels, the felt need to cough, and some of my abilities are better (to a lesser degree), my blood pressure is back up. I can't seem to win. Oh well. I will keep doing what I can, when I can. It is still more than what I have been able to do for decades. And yet it is still a crippled life. But hey, I'm breathing like a man out of water, not a fish out of water. I am doing some things, like tracking and mostly making appointments. I am sleeping around eight hours a night. I wake refreshed. I eat regularly, am able to take the medicine which seems to be helping, I am tracking weight and stats. Pretty limited but at least it is a ton more than ever before. And, perhaps, this is just a low? If so, it is what I had hoped my lows would be.
Today IS the day. The Sacrament of Reconciliation, the beginning of me seeking out the Eucharist, a fresh start. I will begin exploring which times and places better suit my nature, my comfort level. No, not so much seeking what I 'want' so much as what will not be so uncomfortable that I go less often. If I am not a wolf in sheep's clothing, which I do contend. If I am not a sheep either, which I also contend. Then I am a sheep dog. As such, and being retired or disabled, I really don't want a lot to do with groups of sheep and I have outright enmity toward wolves. Is there a church for my kind? I doubt it. So I have to find a Church which will suffice, has fewer people would be my guess. The truth can hurt, but if all else fails, the truth is what remains.
I'll get to waking up, then see what is left of the day to make my plans and do some work or chores or tinkering. Oh, and no pains in the morning or through the day! I really don't understand why pain would go away. But it has. I don't even get headaches anymore. They were a facet of my life since disability began. It is strange not to have them. I had even learned to function (to the level I ever could function) right through the worst of them, the migraines... usually. Perhaps that 'education' is what allowed me to not sense severe pain when cut and such? Who knows.
Have a great day. Do what you can, this day will never be around to do over again.
Friday, July 15, 2011
News? Maybe.
.
.
I do actually read things other than blogs. Though some of it is connected to blogs. Here are a few articles that caught my attention, and some of my notions about them.
I see some doctors actually get in trouble for doing more than is necessary, fudging the numbers to allow them to offer more services and add diagnosis that aren't supported by the tests. It is nice to see one go down. I wonder how much of his career, and fortune, was ill gained. I wonder about all doctors, to be honest. I am surprised they bothered to get this one. He must have pissed off a nurse in the know or something?
Ah, here is an article on the proper use of money set aside to save the planet. No, seriously. I am all for the use of green funds for this type of thing. The Europeans, or some of them seem to be heading in much more the correct direction, on some things. Then again, their collective (literal and figurative) economy and monetary system is about to collapse. So, I wouldn't follow them too closely.
Here we have something I think is about right, all else being equal. Now, that is assuming Republicans don't continue to cave everywhere and always. How long will that last? Probably indefinitely if we ever allow the markets to simply work as they should. Which would require a much smaller government, deregulation of just about everything, a flat tax, and an end to the welfare state and military and academic complexes. I love me some military, but a bit smaller would be fine. As for academics? Axe all public portions of it, including k-12. Let towns and counties do it, if they want. Get the state and federal government out of it. Anyway... Yes, housing, down another 20%. That will put houses at the prices they should be tracking historically.
And, finally, I have an article here I have some doubts about. Though I love my cats, I really do. I enjoy their company, I like being outside with Sam (Sassy only goes out at night and then isn't very social, she just slinks off and avoids me and Sam), and they keep me doing things. But I don't think I am one iota healthier for sharing a home with them. How you feel means nothing, I want to see actual stats on people change, does their blood pressure go down? Does their pulse slow (or quicken if needed)? Do they digest food better? How you feel has nothing to do with how healthy you are. Quit that. Fuzzy math and all. Still, even if it proves out that owning pets is less healthy, I'll keep mine (and won't believe that study either).
Good night!
.
I do actually read things other than blogs. Though some of it is connected to blogs. Here are a few articles that caught my attention, and some of my notions about them.
I see some doctors actually get in trouble for doing more than is necessary, fudging the numbers to allow them to offer more services and add diagnosis that aren't supported by the tests. It is nice to see one go down. I wonder how much of his career, and fortune, was ill gained. I wonder about all doctors, to be honest. I am surprised they bothered to get this one. He must have pissed off a nurse in the know or something?
Ah, here is an article on the proper use of money set aside to save the planet. No, seriously. I am all for the use of green funds for this type of thing. The Europeans, or some of them seem to be heading in much more the correct direction, on some things. Then again, their collective (literal and figurative) economy and monetary system is about to collapse. So, I wouldn't follow them too closely.
Here we have something I think is about right, all else being equal. Now, that is assuming Republicans don't continue to cave everywhere and always. How long will that last? Probably indefinitely if we ever allow the markets to simply work as they should. Which would require a much smaller government, deregulation of just about everything, a flat tax, and an end to the welfare state and military and academic complexes. I love me some military, but a bit smaller would be fine. As for academics? Axe all public portions of it, including k-12. Let towns and counties do it, if they want. Get the state and federal government out of it. Anyway... Yes, housing, down another 20%. That will put houses at the prices they should be tracking historically.
And, finally, I have an article here I have some doubts about. Though I love my cats, I really do. I enjoy their company, I like being outside with Sam (Sassy only goes out at night and then isn't very social, she just slinks off and avoids me and Sam), and they keep me doing things. But I don't think I am one iota healthier for sharing a home with them. How you feel means nothing, I want to see actual stats on people change, does their blood pressure go down? Does their pulse slow (or quicken if needed)? Do they digest food better? How you feel has nothing to do with how healthy you are. Quit that. Fuzzy math and all. Still, even if it proves out that owning pets is less healthy, I'll keep mine (and won't believe that study either).
Good night!
Could be.
.
.
I did walk over to the neighbors. Much later than what I had indicated, but then my clock was off. Stupid computer. However, most of the family was on the way into town, taking goats in for a petting zoo, or sale, or both. The mother said someone was doing chores and that I could go watch. It ended up being two little boys. They knew some things, but they were definitely boys. Still, I walked around with them, as they fed the many critters. There are quite the number of creatures there. Goats, of course. Many goats, several different breeds too. Chickens, ducks, a goose, a pot-belly pig... I think that was all?
The work didn't seem that difficult, nothing complicated, and with me functioning better, I am thinking the work and schedule would not be too difficult. Having neighbors with kids who would take over would also mean I could still travel from time to time. I am guessing I could make it even easier with a couple of systems which auto water and feed, as back up, or should I be gone a short bit. The idea of fresh meat on a regular basis, milk, and walking weedeaters appeals to me. I suppose the kid would be the meat animal? You need a kid in order that the doe offers milk. I did a bit of checking. Did you realize the Old Testament proscribed using the milk of the mother to boil the youngling? It is in one of the books of wisdom. Of course, I had no such plans in any event, so it's all good.
The breed of goat, if I were to do this, that I would like, is called Boer. At least the meat goats. I would probably have to have two different breeds? Hmm, I might have to see of a Boer would work as a milk goat too. I checked prices, generally. It seems these animals are in the $400 to $500 range, for purebreds. Take purebred out of it, and make it mostly Boer, and the price drops to around $100, plus or minus $20. I am not sure if there is much difference in taste, and it would be just for me most likely, still... And, would I really want a billy? For most of the year all they do is eat, fight, and try to escape (and I hear they are good at it). The doe is much more docile. Well, just thinking things over. Hmm, I wonder though. Would the goats protect the chickens a bit? Wait, the boys seemed to think that wouldn't work. They had to call animal services or some county or city office to have two raccoons removed/killed. They were in with the goats, trying to get in with the chickens. The goats tried to chase them off but were unsuccessful at it. Or, that is what the boys thought. Did I mention, they are boys. Ha.
I am going to go back over. Perhaps the father is home. Just to be neighborly, perhaps ask a few questions the boys might not have known or gotten... quite right. Later.
.
I did walk over to the neighbors. Much later than what I had indicated, but then my clock was off. Stupid computer. However, most of the family was on the way into town, taking goats in for a petting zoo, or sale, or both. The mother said someone was doing chores and that I could go watch. It ended up being two little boys. They knew some things, but they were definitely boys. Still, I walked around with them, as they fed the many critters. There are quite the number of creatures there. Goats, of course. Many goats, several different breeds too. Chickens, ducks, a goose, a pot-belly pig... I think that was all?
The work didn't seem that difficult, nothing complicated, and with me functioning better, I am thinking the work and schedule would not be too difficult. Having neighbors with kids who would take over would also mean I could still travel from time to time. I am guessing I could make it even easier with a couple of systems which auto water and feed, as back up, or should I be gone a short bit. The idea of fresh meat on a regular basis, milk, and walking weedeaters appeals to me. I suppose the kid would be the meat animal? You need a kid in order that the doe offers milk. I did a bit of checking. Did you realize the Old Testament proscribed using the milk of the mother to boil the youngling? It is in one of the books of wisdom. Of course, I had no such plans in any event, so it's all good.
The breed of goat, if I were to do this, that I would like, is called Boer. At least the meat goats. I would probably have to have two different breeds? Hmm, I might have to see of a Boer would work as a milk goat too. I checked prices, generally. It seems these animals are in the $400 to $500 range, for purebreds. Take purebred out of it, and make it mostly Boer, and the price drops to around $100, plus or minus $20. I am not sure if there is much difference in taste, and it would be just for me most likely, still... And, would I really want a billy? For most of the year all they do is eat, fight, and try to escape (and I hear they are good at it). The doe is much more docile. Well, just thinking things over. Hmm, I wonder though. Would the goats protect the chickens a bit? Wait, the boys seemed to think that wouldn't work. They had to call animal services or some county or city office to have two raccoons removed/killed. They were in with the goats, trying to get in with the chickens. The goats tried to chase them off but were unsuccessful at it. Or, that is what the boys thought. Did I mention, they are boys. Ha.
I am going to go back over. Perhaps the father is home. Just to be neighborly, perhaps ask a few questions the boys might not have known or gotten... quite right. Later.
A humble fool and malcontent.
.
.
Along with usual prayers, I often remember to ask for forgiveness for a non-sin. It can lead to sinning, it can also keep me from sinning, but it is just a fact. I am a fool at times. Oh, nothing in particular, if there are things that quickly come to mind. My most recent foolishness was merely a thing that got me to check on some things and ease my mind. But that 'doesn't confront me none, as long as I get paid on payday'. I r foolish. Perhaps that helps when one attempts to be humble? Okies, God's world, God's rules. At least He offered humor, on a simple human note, to deal with this simple human condition. I think it is worth the trade, humility and a good chuckle for a bit of personal folly? Okay.
On the good side, I am beginning to organize my life. I realize I will never be a neatnick. I simply don't have the... mind... ability... something... for it. And yet I can pick up and neaten occasionally, and I do what my humble abilities afford. I am beginning to use my calender and smart phone to keep me on track. And to good effect. Little bits of my life, things never quite all put together in the right places, at the right time, are coming together. Foolish as I may be at times, my intent is good. And, more, I have been keeping up much better for a longer period than any time other than when I took Ritalin. Of course, I realize, I will still probably have comparative highs and lows. And for me these will be more than typical. If I can make sure the lows are only as low as my old reasonable highs, I am good. And, so far, for the most part, that is true.
I am still figuring out life. While I can and do some things almost natively, other things still baffle me. Getting my bike into town is the most recent thing I am working on. Oh sure, just shove it in the vehicle and hope you don't bend something. Or, go ask someone with a truck. Yes, yes. But I need to figure and... mentally... sort through things. I think it is sort of like an obsessive compulsive thing, not the same, just that I have to do something for things to click, similar but different. Only, now, once I get something worked through, just like figuring a firing pattern for a torpedo for example, it is good as a permanent (as permanent as things get) fix. Now that I have a home, that is for all intents and purposes mine, I can begin building my life around this structure, in this area, with these neighbors.
Which reminds me, today I am going to go help the neighbors with their chores. I have a half an hour to dress appropriately for chores and get there. Hmm, it's a half a block away. I... think I can, I think I can. *smile* Foolish indeed. Have a great day. I know I will, especially if I get the chance to milk a goat! Later.
.
Along with usual prayers, I often remember to ask for forgiveness for a non-sin. It can lead to sinning, it can also keep me from sinning, but it is just a fact. I am a fool at times. Oh, nothing in particular, if there are things that quickly come to mind. My most recent foolishness was merely a thing that got me to check on some things and ease my mind. But that 'doesn't confront me none, as long as I get paid on payday'. I r foolish. Perhaps that helps when one attempts to be humble? Okies, God's world, God's rules. At least He offered humor, on a simple human note, to deal with this simple human condition. I think it is worth the trade, humility and a good chuckle for a bit of personal folly? Okay.
On the good side, I am beginning to organize my life. I realize I will never be a neatnick. I simply don't have the... mind... ability... something... for it. And yet I can pick up and neaten occasionally, and I do what my humble abilities afford. I am beginning to use my calender and smart phone to keep me on track. And to good effect. Little bits of my life, things never quite all put together in the right places, at the right time, are coming together. Foolish as I may be at times, my intent is good. And, more, I have been keeping up much better for a longer period than any time other than when I took Ritalin. Of course, I realize, I will still probably have comparative highs and lows. And for me these will be more than typical. If I can make sure the lows are only as low as my old reasonable highs, I am good. And, so far, for the most part, that is true.
I am still figuring out life. While I can and do some things almost natively, other things still baffle me. Getting my bike into town is the most recent thing I am working on. Oh sure, just shove it in the vehicle and hope you don't bend something. Or, go ask someone with a truck. Yes, yes. But I need to figure and... mentally... sort through things. I think it is sort of like an obsessive compulsive thing, not the same, just that I have to do something for things to click, similar but different. Only, now, once I get something worked through, just like figuring a firing pattern for a torpedo for example, it is good as a permanent (as permanent as things get) fix. Now that I have a home, that is for all intents and purposes mine, I can begin building my life around this structure, in this area, with these neighbors.
Which reminds me, today I am going to go help the neighbors with their chores. I have a half an hour to dress appropriately for chores and get there. Hmm, it's a half a block away. I... think I can, I think I can. *smile* Foolish indeed. Have a great day. I know I will, especially if I get the chance to milk a goat! Later.
Okay, I best get on that.
.
.
One of the things that has slipped is reordering medicine! Oh, right away. I simply can't slip off that stuff. No, it's not just a fashion statement at this point. Going off it, cold turkey, at the levels I am on it, might really kill me. That, if nothing else, has always been of concern when beginning medicine. It is worse than addiction in some cases, like this case. I have been able to take the medicines, so I have gone with it. But it seems my improved function is still not complete. I am not sure, but may be at serious risk of running out. I will look over my stocks and decide whether I need to ration and how best to do that. After I reorder. Perhaps they will know how long the medicine 'should' take to arrive, and I then add in double the delivery time and plan accordingly. The term "should arrive", more so from government, is very tentative, fragile, untrustworthy.
I would love to have prescriptions, in case I miss the window to order, but the V.A. refuses to offer those. If you are treated by the V.A., you must get your medicines from their pharmacy outlets. Period. You won't like Obamamalcare. It'll start with pleasantries, I am sure, then run right into a medical monopoly. I think I heard of a case in Canada where, when a patient sought a minor outside (American) medical consult and treatment, they were then refused any other treatment for their main issue (cancer) in Canada. I think they may have eventually cleared it up, but how long do you want to clear up medical access when you are dieing of cancer? Really? For me, a half dozen prescriptions (none of them narcotic or class 'anything') shouldn't be an issue, save that the government doesn't want competition. It is NOT about my health. Yes, having to pay for scripts a time or two would learn me to call in. This way may just end up with me out of medicine. Bah.
I have another issue that is making walking difficult. It seems when I become more active, I immediately begin having foot problems. At least the type I get are easily treated, when or if I can see a doctor who has to put in a consult, and then get scheduled with a specialist. How long does it take to actually do the work? An half hour, and most of that just waiting for a doctor to come in and scrape off the thing(s). The problem is something like a callous, but on the bottom of my foot. I have some on the sides of my big toes, but I can and do ignore those. I have tried to scrape the one on the bottom of my foot off myself, several times. Let us just say I would make a lousy surgeon. I have only made myself lame once, and only for a few days at least, but I didn't fix a thing in my effort. No, I best go in and get this treated. My mom says she gets these too, she needs to go in every 3 to 6 months for treatment, like clockwork. I probably should too. When I am active, it happens every time and comes back quickly. It is like walking on a large pebble, and makes a permanent hot-spot on my foot (you would know this from hiking), the size of the whole front 'palm' of my foot. It doesn't slow me down, I just get where I am going in a bit more of a huff than usual. *youch*
Today? Well, ordering medicine, getting that CPAP squared away, mowing perhaps, dishes maybe, and perhaps just figuring out how to get that bike into town. What a pain the bike is turning into. I'm starting to question the purchase, but then I couldn't afford a "good bike", and these problems might somehow be solved... I don't know. I'm sort of grumpy this morning though, so... I wait until clarity returns before... making specific, important, or other decisions. For the while I will lounge in grump. Have a good day anyway.
*update* My panic seems to be for naught. The heart transplant coordinator called back quickly and reminded me that I will be in Monday. Yes, I am losing track, even though I put these things on my phone and calendar just yesterday. I guess medicine fears can become... potent. And in my segregated little life, connections are not always logical or even there, so putting running out of medicine with an appointment just didn't happen. Then again, usually I was seeing a doctor only every few months to six months in the past. And my medicine shortage has been worrying me for a while. It's a... paradigm thing. Never... mind. I'll... get the hang of this new one soon enough.
Yeah, well, it did get me out of the gates at a terrible pace already this morning. My blood is certainly pumping now.
.
One of the things that has slipped is reordering medicine! Oh, right away. I simply can't slip off that stuff. No, it's not just a fashion statement at this point. Going off it, cold turkey, at the levels I am on it, might really kill me. That, if nothing else, has always been of concern when beginning medicine. It is worse than addiction in some cases, like this case. I have been able to take the medicines, so I have gone with it. But it seems my improved function is still not complete. I am not sure, but may be at serious risk of running out. I will look over my stocks and decide whether I need to ration and how best to do that. After I reorder. Perhaps they will know how long the medicine 'should' take to arrive, and I then add in double the delivery time and plan accordingly. The term "should arrive", more so from government, is very tentative, fragile, untrustworthy.
I would love to have prescriptions, in case I miss the window to order, but the V.A. refuses to offer those. If you are treated by the V.A., you must get your medicines from their pharmacy outlets. Period. You won't like Obamamalcare. It'll start with pleasantries, I am sure, then run right into a medical monopoly. I think I heard of a case in Canada where, when a patient sought a minor outside (American) medical consult and treatment, they were then refused any other treatment for their main issue (cancer) in Canada. I think they may have eventually cleared it up, but how long do you want to clear up medical access when you are dieing of cancer? Really? For me, a half dozen prescriptions (none of them narcotic or class 'anything') shouldn't be an issue, save that the government doesn't want competition. It is NOT about my health. Yes, having to pay for scripts a time or two would learn me to call in. This way may just end up with me out of medicine. Bah.
I have another issue that is making walking difficult. It seems when I become more active, I immediately begin having foot problems. At least the type I get are easily treated, when or if I can see a doctor who has to put in a consult, and then get scheduled with a specialist. How long does it take to actually do the work? An half hour, and most of that just waiting for a doctor to come in and scrape off the thing(s). The problem is something like a callous, but on the bottom of my foot. I have some on the sides of my big toes, but I can and do ignore those. I have tried to scrape the one on the bottom of my foot off myself, several times. Let us just say I would make a lousy surgeon. I have only made myself lame once, and only for a few days at least, but I didn't fix a thing in my effort. No, I best go in and get this treated. My mom says she gets these too, she needs to go in every 3 to 6 months for treatment, like clockwork. I probably should too. When I am active, it happens every time and comes back quickly. It is like walking on a large pebble, and makes a permanent hot-spot on my foot (you would know this from hiking), the size of the whole front 'palm' of my foot. It doesn't slow me down, I just get where I am going in a bit more of a huff than usual. *youch*
Today? Well, ordering medicine, getting that CPAP squared away, mowing perhaps, dishes maybe, and perhaps just figuring out how to get that bike into town. What a pain the bike is turning into. I'm starting to question the purchase, but then I couldn't afford a "good bike", and these problems might somehow be solved... I don't know. I'm sort of grumpy this morning though, so... I wait until clarity returns before... making specific, important, or other decisions. For the while I will lounge in grump. Have a good day anyway.
*update* My panic seems to be for naught. The heart transplant coordinator called back quickly and reminded me that I will be in Monday. Yes, I am losing track, even though I put these things on my phone and calendar just yesterday. I guess medicine fears can become... potent. And in my segregated little life, connections are not always logical or even there, so putting running out of medicine with an appointment just didn't happen. Then again, usually I was seeing a doctor only every few months to six months in the past. And my medicine shortage has been worrying me for a while. It's a... paradigm thing. Never... mind. I'll... get the hang of this new one soon enough.
Yeah, well, it did get me out of the gates at a terrible pace already this morning. My blood is certainly pumping now.
Thursday, July 14, 2011
Okay, the brakes...
.
.
I read what you wrote, D.C., and commented. After tinkering and pulling tightening and loosening and pushing and... I just plain ran out of steam, and light. Everything you wrote made sense. The problem is, the cable seemingly cannot be pulled tight enough, and/or the disc brake calipers are a problem (or need an adjustment that I can't find). There were, again, no instructions regarding disc brakes, let alone on tightening the cable or adjusting the brake. After surrendering for the night, I decided to look for video, again. I have been searching for a simple video which shows a set up very much like mine. After exhausting anything to do with adjusting cable, disc brakes, or such, I finally accidentally found a video regarding whether you could retrofit a typical bike with disc brakes. And, the brakes unlike the other disc brakes I saw, looked very similar to what my bike sports.
At about 00:54, you will see the disc brake caliper, and all the parts involved. The caliper seems to be slipping, or... something. If they use that type of set up on any bikes you have monkeyed with, perhaps you will know something more.
Here is the video.
I have worked with the nut on the brake assembly to tighten the cable housing, and the one on the handle bar. Both loosened as much as possible, the cable still slips and the cable housing shifts and becomes loose. There seems no way to tighten any of it. After I tighten everything as tight as I can humanly get it, tighten everything back down, then grip the brake handle, the disc brake caliper moves up (see where the caliper is in the video? it moves literally up toward the handle bars, up the cable, and stays slack). At that time, the brake grip, if used again, merely slackens the cable more. At the same time, both the brake cable and the brake line itself go slack. The holder nut, holding the cable itself to the disc brake caliper, is holding. I checked that independently. So, it has something to do with the disc brake caliper not holding, needing adjusting, or something.
I can find zero help regarding this bike. It is a Genesis Two Nine 29" mountain bike. I find a manufacturer/advertisement page (with no technical information), I see the add and review page from Walmart, and I see a few comments on forums (but nothing specific, just rants or praise). I simply cannot find any good information for this specific bike or the disc brake on it.
.
I read what you wrote, D.C., and commented. After tinkering and pulling tightening and loosening and pushing and... I just plain ran out of steam, and light. Everything you wrote made sense. The problem is, the cable seemingly cannot be pulled tight enough, and/or the disc brake calipers are a problem (or need an adjustment that I can't find). There were, again, no instructions regarding disc brakes, let alone on tightening the cable or adjusting the brake. After surrendering for the night, I decided to look for video, again. I have been searching for a simple video which shows a set up very much like mine. After exhausting anything to do with adjusting cable, disc brakes, or such, I finally accidentally found a video regarding whether you could retrofit a typical bike with disc brakes. And, the brakes unlike the other disc brakes I saw, looked very similar to what my bike sports.
At about 00:54, you will see the disc brake caliper, and all the parts involved. The caliper seems to be slipping, or... something. If they use that type of set up on any bikes you have monkeyed with, perhaps you will know something more.
Here is the video.
I have worked with the nut on the brake assembly to tighten the cable housing, and the one on the handle bar. Both loosened as much as possible, the cable still slips and the cable housing shifts and becomes loose. There seems no way to tighten any of it. After I tighten everything as tight as I can humanly get it, tighten everything back down, then grip the brake handle, the disc brake caliper moves up (see where the caliper is in the video? it moves literally up toward the handle bars, up the cable, and stays slack). At that time, the brake grip, if used again, merely slackens the cable more. At the same time, both the brake cable and the brake line itself go slack. The holder nut, holding the cable itself to the disc brake caliper, is holding. I checked that independently. So, it has something to do with the disc brake caliper not holding, needing adjusting, or something.
I can find zero help regarding this bike. It is a Genesis Two Nine 29" mountain bike. I find a manufacturer/advertisement page (with no technical information), I see the add and review page from Walmart, and I see a few comments on forums (but nothing specific, just rants or praise). I simply cannot find any good information for this specific bike or the disc brake on it.
Contemplating sin, and Reconciliation.
.
.
While I may not be able to do much, physically, I try very diligently to not just 'stop'. As this weekend approaches, I have been looking over the cliff notes for the Sacrament of Reconciliation. I will go back and read the source and find other sources as well. Too, I have been thinking over my sins, near and far, forgiven and not. There are some I am letting go. Oh? Yes. Simply, before the age of consent, in the Catholic Church that is the age of 12 years, one is not held responsible. That does not give free reign, it does not negate punishment, it merely indicates that conscious sin before that age is not held to be reasonable. For example, my tryst with that girl when I was 4 and change. And of course the babysitter before that. She was the irresponsible responsible party.
There are serious sins there. Some have already been forgiven. It is not that I didn't confess them, it is that, in doing that first boatload at my first confession, all details were not given. I wish to amend that on two particular sins. As well, I have... questions. Some sins I may or may not have committed. And, given the circumstances, they might not even be considered sins. A police officer who kills in the legitimate actions required by his station is not sinning. Still, he may feel the need for something. Not that I killed anyone. Not that I didn't. Merely, I have a need. Some things, of course, are more current. I seem to have restored some semblance of chastity back into my life. That is one powerful Djin. I will never completely defeat that one, but a little sanity to it is nice. So, there was that spree. And, of course, my grumpy nature and some of the darker angles to that. Simple, perhaps. Humble or even silly seeming to some, maybe. But these things weigh heavily. These things, to my mind, make the Eucharist out of bounds. I must deal with these things, and begin afresh.
I try not to think about my sins, more than to record and note. They aren't the focus. Neither should they be allowed to keep me from God by keeping me from the other big and little "s" Sacraments, they also shouldn't be so much of a focus that I lose perspective. I am just learning these things, mind you. Some things I have always known, and they still stand. Other things are new, hard, but worth pursuing. Confessing to a priest isn't easy. I do sweat it. But the freedom it affords, even without the attendant Eucharist, is immeasurable. It is the spiritual version of realizing, on a long hike, that you really can take a seat and remove the pebbles and sand from your shoes. So long was I walking around with spiritual pebbles in my boots, blistering, hurting, gnawing, killing. Leaving me crippled, somewhat lame, and not sure what to do. Now I know. Now to do it.
Well, enough. This post is more to keep my on track with getting in this weekend. First to SoRec and then to Mass and the Eucharist. I think the crowds scare me a bit, more than they should. But then I live such a solitary life and have for so long, that it is to be expected. I will probably never be great at attending mass regularly. I am simply not a group-wise social creature. Even close friends and family, to a greater degree, are kept some distance (by illness, their busy lives, and... fears and such). I'm more like a cat than anything, in these matters. Anyway, I will do what I can, when I can, and pray about the rest of it.
God bless.
.
While I may not be able to do much, physically, I try very diligently to not just 'stop'. As this weekend approaches, I have been looking over the cliff notes for the Sacrament of Reconciliation. I will go back and read the source and find other sources as well. Too, I have been thinking over my sins, near and far, forgiven and not. There are some I am letting go. Oh? Yes. Simply, before the age of consent, in the Catholic Church that is the age of 12 years, one is not held responsible. That does not give free reign, it does not negate punishment, it merely indicates that conscious sin before that age is not held to be reasonable. For example, my tryst with that girl when I was 4 and change. And of course the babysitter before that. She was the irresponsible responsible party.
There are serious sins there. Some have already been forgiven. It is not that I didn't confess them, it is that, in doing that first boatload at my first confession, all details were not given. I wish to amend that on two particular sins. As well, I have... questions. Some sins I may or may not have committed. And, given the circumstances, they might not even be considered sins. A police officer who kills in the legitimate actions required by his station is not sinning. Still, he may feel the need for something. Not that I killed anyone. Not that I didn't. Merely, I have a need. Some things, of course, are more current. I seem to have restored some semblance of chastity back into my life. That is one powerful Djin. I will never completely defeat that one, but a little sanity to it is nice. So, there was that spree. And, of course, my grumpy nature and some of the darker angles to that. Simple, perhaps. Humble or even silly seeming to some, maybe. But these things weigh heavily. These things, to my mind, make the Eucharist out of bounds. I must deal with these things, and begin afresh.
I try not to think about my sins, more than to record and note. They aren't the focus. Neither should they be allowed to keep me from God by keeping me from the other big and little "s" Sacraments, they also shouldn't be so much of a focus that I lose perspective. I am just learning these things, mind you. Some things I have always known, and they still stand. Other things are new, hard, but worth pursuing. Confessing to a priest isn't easy. I do sweat it. But the freedom it affords, even without the attendant Eucharist, is immeasurable. It is the spiritual version of realizing, on a long hike, that you really can take a seat and remove the pebbles and sand from your shoes. So long was I walking around with spiritual pebbles in my boots, blistering, hurting, gnawing, killing. Leaving me crippled, somewhat lame, and not sure what to do. Now I know. Now to do it.
Well, enough. This post is more to keep my on track with getting in this weekend. First to SoRec and then to Mass and the Eucharist. I think the crowds scare me a bit, more than they should. But then I live such a solitary life and have for so long, that it is to be expected. I will probably never be great at attending mass regularly. I am simply not a group-wise social creature. Even close friends and family, to a greater degree, are kept some distance (by illness, their busy lives, and... fears and such). I'm more like a cat than anything, in these matters. Anyway, I will do what I can, when I can, and pray about the rest of it.
God bless.
What do you call days like these?
.
.
Today is not a complete flop. I did get into town, I did do shopping, I called about upcoming appointments and put them into my phone and on my physical calender, I rescheduled the vet appointment, if not in a timely manner, I checked about the bike guys at Walmart but was too late for the day guy and far too early to speak with the night guy (though perhaps D.C.'s advice will cover that). I just thought I would 'information load' as much as possible before beginning. Oh, and I checked the mail, and because of that deposited some checks into my account.I know, that really is small potatoes. Even if I do end up working on my bike a bit, doing some dishes, and perhaps breaking down boxes for this next recycling day.
And yet, that is more than I have done... on a voluntary basis, for quite some time. I have been stuck for a while now. Sure, maybe I am just saying taking the water pills help, and making it so. But I do have blood pressure, weight loss, reduced felt need to cough (which I do suppress in any case). No, there are real other indicators which tend to support my theory. Healthy in the long run? What is? :p Eating will eventually kill you!?! Or, something like that.
I had hoped to get over and help the neighbor with chores today. Technically, I was back from town in time, I could have done that. I just didn't quite have that last little bit I needed. I do hope I will get over there tomorrow. If they don't mind, I would like to help out every once in a while. If I could do it daily for a week, that would be good. Just to get a sense of... what animal rearing and husbandry and the rest is all about. I would also like to learn how to milk a goat. Just the notion... who would have thought I would ever even have such an opportunity? Or interest?
People must think I am just a lazy bum, truly. They can see no health issues, all my limbs are attached and working, I seem intelligent, I even seem not just mobile but... aggressively, forcefully, powerfully, quickly, fluidly mobile. I can beat the go-cart transports at the V.A., the ones they give people rides in from the parking lot or over other longer stretches inside the building (at both of our top speed, and probably only for a half a mile or less but never tested full bore for more than probably an eighth of a mile). I just can't always... focus... get it started... push passed something. Once the fuse is lit I am usually... at least good for a bit, usually.
So weird. The Ritalin did this, too. But it was the source, not simply something that moved the actual problem out of the way. These medicines leave it all up to me. It is fantastic to find that I actually will advance, given the chance. I will push on my own. I have drive, interest, want, and like to work. And I still have limits, from sitting down for the last twenty years. And even then, I must have been pushing as hard as I could into that immobile blockage or I would be far weaker than I am. I just really never could quit. That is why I always felt so stressed.
This blog has become my therapist, give or take. It's at least as useful as any therapist I have ever had, save one. And she had no idea how I used her (not abusively, mind you, much as I use doctors currently). While I am truthful to a degree, not all can be shared. Not with liberals, not with those of the indoctrinated set. They don't have it coming and have failed too often. I can use them, however. And I have, do, and will. Yes, therapy. And, no, you don't get the whole truth either. Unless you have the eyes to see and the ears by which to hear. Even then you just get the fundamentals. Or... not.
Have a good day. After I chill a bit from the trip and meal, I will get on that bike. Have a beautiful day, smile just because, and do something squirrelly just because. Life is good, we are all busy, but don't let the latter malinfluence the former. Ciao.
.
Today is not a complete flop. I did get into town, I did do shopping, I called about upcoming appointments and put them into my phone and on my physical calender, I rescheduled the vet appointment, if not in a timely manner, I checked about the bike guys at Walmart but was too late for the day guy and far too early to speak with the night guy (though perhaps D.C.'s advice will cover that). I just thought I would 'information load' as much as possible before beginning. Oh, and I checked the mail, and because of that deposited some checks into my account.I know, that really is small potatoes. Even if I do end up working on my bike a bit, doing some dishes, and perhaps breaking down boxes for this next recycling day.
And yet, that is more than I have done... on a voluntary basis, for quite some time. I have been stuck for a while now. Sure, maybe I am just saying taking the water pills help, and making it so. But I do have blood pressure, weight loss, reduced felt need to cough (which I do suppress in any case). No, there are real other indicators which tend to support my theory. Healthy in the long run? What is? :p Eating will eventually kill you!?! Or, something like that.
I had hoped to get over and help the neighbor with chores today. Technically, I was back from town in time, I could have done that. I just didn't quite have that last little bit I needed. I do hope I will get over there tomorrow. If they don't mind, I would like to help out every once in a while. If I could do it daily for a week, that would be good. Just to get a sense of... what animal rearing and husbandry and the rest is all about. I would also like to learn how to milk a goat. Just the notion... who would have thought I would ever even have such an opportunity? Or interest?
People must think I am just a lazy bum, truly. They can see no health issues, all my limbs are attached and working, I seem intelligent, I even seem not just mobile but... aggressively, forcefully, powerfully, quickly, fluidly mobile. I can beat the go-cart transports at the V.A., the ones they give people rides in from the parking lot or over other longer stretches inside the building (at both of our top speed, and probably only for a half a mile or less but never tested full bore for more than probably an eighth of a mile). I just can't always... focus... get it started... push passed something. Once the fuse is lit I am usually... at least good for a bit, usually.
So weird. The Ritalin did this, too. But it was the source, not simply something that moved the actual problem out of the way. These medicines leave it all up to me. It is fantastic to find that I actually will advance, given the chance. I will push on my own. I have drive, interest, want, and like to work. And I still have limits, from sitting down for the last twenty years. And even then, I must have been pushing as hard as I could into that immobile blockage or I would be far weaker than I am. I just really never could quit. That is why I always felt so stressed.
This blog has become my therapist, give or take. It's at least as useful as any therapist I have ever had, save one. And she had no idea how I used her (not abusively, mind you, much as I use doctors currently). While I am truthful to a degree, not all can be shared. Not with liberals, not with those of the indoctrinated set. They don't have it coming and have failed too often. I can use them, however. And I have, do, and will. Yes, therapy. And, no, you don't get the whole truth either. Unless you have the eyes to see and the ears by which to hear. Even then you just get the fundamentals. Or... not.
Have a good day. After I chill a bit from the trip and meal, I will get on that bike. Have a beautiful day, smile just because, and do something squirrelly just because. Life is good, we are all busy, but don't let the latter malinfluence the former. Ciao.
Missed an appointment.
.
.
Oh, I saw it coming. And, I was moving in the right direction. Escape velocity slipped my grip. I called and reset the thing, for later in the afternoon, just in case, and next week for good measure. At least I understand my personal "mania" now. As I lose water and lower my blood pressure, something else kicks in and I am at first much more "alive", then I have more energy to do just about anything. There is something in there, mechanical as I suspected, if I must honestly say I can only guess what the true origins might be. And, when I become more functional, I am much better able to then manage that "mania". That, my friends, is not bipolar disorder. That is not manageable without medication. And it has nothing to do with the heart, water retention, or blood pressure. Fragging quacks!
So, what will I do today? Check my mail, first thing. And I still need to do some grocery shopping. Milk, some more meats, a few more veggies, MILK!, and who knows what else. I should make a list, but really, with the small one or two item meals I am going with, whatever looks or sounds good is... good enough. Oh, those Italian style cold cuts, the foreign named sausage slices and such, I definitely need some of those. Being as rich as they are, those are sort of a 3-package every other week sort of thing. A package of those last three to four days, usually, eaten with crackers and whatever cheese I have on hand.
The bike will be worked on, when I return. As well, I will try to find the camera, the card reader, and those hiking books. Oh, and I really need to do some more dishes. Laundry can wait. Hmm, I might go to Walmart and ask to speak with whoever it is that assembles the bikes (as that is a service they will do). Perhaps he would give free advice? If I show him the particular bike, he might know the problem right off hand. Barring that, I might take the bolt and nut in and see if there is a same-sized set, but with teeth for holding the cable.
Sam is pleased, she just doesn't know it. She missed going to the vet today. A short reprieve for the condemned. Fat (actually skinny, but) and happy, she knows nothing and yet seems to suspect much. Cross-eyed and pigeon-toed, but she is my girl Friday... If I understand the term correctly, as being a side-kick gal with whom I am not romantically involved (if she can be in love with me). Actually, I think Sam does sort of see me as a tom. When she doesn't see me as her mom. Bleh. Cats... Women cats! Women!
Well, a bit of tinkering as I try to get going on a more... even keel... or something. Have a wonderful day. Laugh, love, live, but do it... over there. Thanks! The Management. :)
.
Oh, I saw it coming. And, I was moving in the right direction. Escape velocity slipped my grip. I called and reset the thing, for later in the afternoon, just in case, and next week for good measure. At least I understand my personal "mania" now. As I lose water and lower my blood pressure, something else kicks in and I am at first much more "alive", then I have more energy to do just about anything. There is something in there, mechanical as I suspected, if I must honestly say I can only guess what the true origins might be. And, when I become more functional, I am much better able to then manage that "mania". That, my friends, is not bipolar disorder. That is not manageable without medication. And it has nothing to do with the heart, water retention, or blood pressure. Fragging quacks!
So, what will I do today? Check my mail, first thing. And I still need to do some grocery shopping. Milk, some more meats, a few more veggies, MILK!, and who knows what else. I should make a list, but really, with the small one or two item meals I am going with, whatever looks or sounds good is... good enough. Oh, those Italian style cold cuts, the foreign named sausage slices and such, I definitely need some of those. Being as rich as they are, those are sort of a 3-package every other week sort of thing. A package of those last three to four days, usually, eaten with crackers and whatever cheese I have on hand.
The bike will be worked on, when I return. As well, I will try to find the camera, the card reader, and those hiking books. Oh, and I really need to do some more dishes. Laundry can wait. Hmm, I might go to Walmart and ask to speak with whoever it is that assembles the bikes (as that is a service they will do). Perhaps he would give free advice? If I show him the particular bike, he might know the problem right off hand. Barring that, I might take the bolt and nut in and see if there is a same-sized set, but with teeth for holding the cable.
Sam is pleased, she just doesn't know it. She missed going to the vet today. A short reprieve for the condemned. Fat (actually skinny, but) and happy, she knows nothing and yet seems to suspect much. Cross-eyed and pigeon-toed, but she is my girl Friday... If I understand the term correctly, as being a side-kick gal with whom I am not romantically involved (if she can be in love with me). Actually, I think Sam does sort of see me as a tom. When she doesn't see me as her mom. Bleh. Cats... Women cats! Women!
Well, a bit of tinkering as I try to get going on a more... even keel... or something. Have a wonderful day. Laugh, love, live, but do it... over there. Thanks! The Management. :)
I was starting to wonder, worry.
.
.
My blood pressure had not been dropping since I added a little extra lasix (water pill). While I was symptomatically and and in (what I thought was) a empirical way feeling better, my weight and blood pressure simply would not yield. But it had only been a few days. Still, there was zero movement. Finally, when I woke today, bp had dropped in to 137/84 with a pulse of 54 (a bit low?). Weight is down to a reasonable amount, sort of. They had wanted me to gain 4 pounds after two visits back, I am 6.6 pounds up, in spite of them not really seeming to care when I went over 10 pounds up. I simply don't have a sense that... what they want makes sense. It felt like things were being made up as we went along. They made rules for me, then promptly ignored the results. Maybe, for them, it all made sense. Results on my end were not stacking up and they kept changing the rules and adding medicine that, if not hurting necessarily, wasn't helping either. My turn, to a degree. And, if it is killing me I certainly feel better for it? Something like that.
I need to get going. I thought the appointment was at 14:00, it is at 13:00 and I woke late. Good day.
.
My blood pressure had not been dropping since I added a little extra lasix (water pill). While I was symptomatically and and in (what I thought was) a empirical way feeling better, my weight and blood pressure simply would not yield. But it had only been a few days. Still, there was zero movement. Finally, when I woke today, bp had dropped in to 137/84 with a pulse of 54 (a bit low?). Weight is down to a reasonable amount, sort of. They had wanted me to gain 4 pounds after two visits back, I am 6.6 pounds up, in spite of them not really seeming to care when I went over 10 pounds up. I simply don't have a sense that... what they want makes sense. It felt like things were being made up as we went along. They made rules for me, then promptly ignored the results. Maybe, for them, it all made sense. Results on my end were not stacking up and they kept changing the rules and adding medicine that, if not hurting necessarily, wasn't helping either. My turn, to a degree. And, if it is killing me I certainly feel better for it? Something like that.
I need to get going. I thought the appointment was at 14:00, it is at 13:00 and I woke late. Good day.
Bedtime?
.
.
At 5:40, it's been a bit rough. I was ready for bed hours ago, sleep simply wouldn't happen. Not doing much feeds the cycle, but not being able to do much is a part OF the problem. Working on it. What is they say, what doesn't kill you only delays the inevitable? :p
A little morning mood setting for you.
Good night.
.
At 5:40, it's been a bit rough. I was ready for bed hours ago, sleep simply wouldn't happen. Not doing much feeds the cycle, but not being able to do much is a part OF the problem. Working on it. What is they say, what doesn't kill you only delays the inevitable? :p
A little morning mood setting for you.
Good night.
But of course.
.
.
I probably am beginning to get better, again. The problem? I have to go through the unsettling stages, again, as well. I means I will be running a little hot until I can gear down. Long days, late nights, a messy schedule, and the rest. I had just begun to get a handle on that when water levels/blood pressure where allowed to deteriorate, and function with it. Oh well, I learned a great deal from that first time. It should be interesting to see if I can ride the waves more successfully now.
There isn't much in the news. Republicans look set to cave, one way or another, and completely. The presidential campaigns for the GOP are about as good as the summer movie line-up. Is there a summer movie line-up anymore or this year? Aliens & Cowboys is the only thing I have heard mentioned. Whatever. I had thought about seeing it, but... probably not. I just hate giving money to Hollywood. They were always rotten. But at one time they were, at least vocally, American. If they want to be worldly, let them join with the U.N. and get their arses to Switzerland or something. They would make quite the pair of industries.
Hmm, not sure what to do. I just know I can't sleep. And yet, I'm not doing enough better quite yet then to do more than just... not sleep? Something like that. I hope you are sleeping well. I'll get over it.
.
I probably am beginning to get better, again. The problem? I have to go through the unsettling stages, again, as well. I means I will be running a little hot until I can gear down. Long days, late nights, a messy schedule, and the rest. I had just begun to get a handle on that when water levels/blood pressure where allowed to deteriorate, and function with it. Oh well, I learned a great deal from that first time. It should be interesting to see if I can ride the waves more successfully now.
There isn't much in the news. Republicans look set to cave, one way or another, and completely. The presidential campaigns for the GOP are about as good as the summer movie line-up. Is there a summer movie line-up anymore or this year? Aliens & Cowboys is the only thing I have heard mentioned. Whatever. I had thought about seeing it, but... probably not. I just hate giving money to Hollywood. They were always rotten. But at one time they were, at least vocally, American. If they want to be worldly, let them join with the U.N. and get their arses to Switzerland or something. They would make quite the pair of industries.
Hmm, not sure what to do. I just know I can't sleep. And yet, I'm not doing enough better quite yet then to do more than just... not sleep? Something like that. I hope you are sleeping well. I'll get over it.
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Another day of rest.
.
.
I sense that I am improving. It is not a quick thing. Today I needed rest. It seems, if I can do things, I can do much. If I cannot get passed whatever the problem is, I simply really can't. Now that I have seen fluid, blood pressure, and such at various levels, I am positive there is a link. It isn't a perfect link, it isn't absolute, but that is the key. It is in that muck somewhere. I don't even know if those are merely indicators of something else, if they go on to affect the heart and through it my blood flow and everything else, or if they are the sum of the problem. I simply don't know. Further, I don't think the doctors know. You can only memorize so much, you can only put just so many studies together in your mind, there are limits. And, of course, studies are often highly dubious. You can probably find a study to show whatever you wish to be shown. Tarot cards and star readings, almost.
I need to get into some kind of better physical condition beyond dealing with the stats. That can only happen if I keep the blood pressure and fluid levels are low enough to have a chance at function, thought, memory, and focus. Such a tricky thing. I definitely am not well qualified to do these things. And doctors don't know my particulars or the effects of medicine on me. Perhaps a bit of their and mine and it could happen.
I am hungry though. A very good sign. The meals I have been eating have gotten a bit scarce and small. Hunger is something I need. Much as thirst. These things have been flagging, along with the rest of my successes. To see hunger back is great. To that end I am thawing chicken gizzards and hearts for dinner. Tomorrow when I take Sam in for her last shot, I will do some shopping. I will ask if they can manage to have her there, give her the shot without me, and have her in the travel carrier when I return to pay. It often takes 45 minutes to an hour, or seems like it. Two trips to town otherwise, at this point, just seems a bit much.
As it is cooling I may go out and try to tinker with the brake line a bit. Between that and cooking, my day is otherwise empty. I needed it. To bed earlier tonight. I have definitely reset the computer clock to the correct time. Then again, I wonder if a flutter in electricity might reset the computer clock without booting the machine? I am almost certain I had the clock set yesterday.
Have a good evening.
.
I sense that I am improving. It is not a quick thing. Today I needed rest. It seems, if I can do things, I can do much. If I cannot get passed whatever the problem is, I simply really can't. Now that I have seen fluid, blood pressure, and such at various levels, I am positive there is a link. It isn't a perfect link, it isn't absolute, but that is the key. It is in that muck somewhere. I don't even know if those are merely indicators of something else, if they go on to affect the heart and through it my blood flow and everything else, or if they are the sum of the problem. I simply don't know. Further, I don't think the doctors know. You can only memorize so much, you can only put just so many studies together in your mind, there are limits. And, of course, studies are often highly dubious. You can probably find a study to show whatever you wish to be shown. Tarot cards and star readings, almost.
I need to get into some kind of better physical condition beyond dealing with the stats. That can only happen if I keep the blood pressure and fluid levels are low enough to have a chance at function, thought, memory, and focus. Such a tricky thing. I definitely am not well qualified to do these things. And doctors don't know my particulars or the effects of medicine on me. Perhaps a bit of their and mine and it could happen.
I am hungry though. A very good sign. The meals I have been eating have gotten a bit scarce and small. Hunger is something I need. Much as thirst. These things have been flagging, along with the rest of my successes. To see hunger back is great. To that end I am thawing chicken gizzards and hearts for dinner. Tomorrow when I take Sam in for her last shot, I will do some shopping. I will ask if they can manage to have her there, give her the shot without me, and have her in the travel carrier when I return to pay. It often takes 45 minutes to an hour, or seems like it. Two trips to town otherwise, at this point, just seems a bit much.
As it is cooling I may go out and try to tinker with the brake line a bit. Between that and cooking, my day is otherwise empty. I needed it. To bed earlier tonight. I have definitely reset the computer clock to the correct time. Then again, I wonder if a flutter in electricity might reset the computer clock without booting the machine? I am almost certain I had the clock set yesterday.
Have a good evening.
Oh, right.
.
.
I have been giving advice to someone about romance. My... notions are... harsh. Something about being hardnosed and not giving any wiggle room. And, while I do like my advice and take it myself (and yeah, it has been successful when employed, as successful as secular relationships allow), I am definitely single at the moment. I changed from secular to religious and... am contemplating, and ill. If too I do still have options. Never you mind. Still, that isn't the point. I would like to add something to my advice. If you can't quite do hardnosed, try this...
Oh, while it is fine to watch it in my blog, it is better to click over to YouTube where you can make it full screen. Yum!
Do you have the testosteroni for it? Oh yeah, it would work. And, knowing you... You could pull this or something like it off. Need a hand? I would help, and be the videographer. That expression is priceless and I would absolutely love capturing it. Love pron? Somethin'. And... she is hooked... HARD. She will now kill for him. Just... a thought.
You know who you are.
.
I have been giving advice to someone about romance. My... notions are... harsh. Something about being hardnosed and not giving any wiggle room. And, while I do like my advice and take it myself (and yeah, it has been successful when employed, as successful as secular relationships allow), I am definitely single at the moment. I changed from secular to religious and... am contemplating, and ill. If too I do still have options. Never you mind. Still, that isn't the point. I would like to add something to my advice. If you can't quite do hardnosed, try this...
Oh, while it is fine to watch it in my blog, it is better to click over to YouTube where you can make it full screen. Yum!
Do you have the testosteroni for it? Oh yeah, it would work. And, knowing you... You could pull this or something like it off. Need a hand? I would help, and be the videographer. That expression is priceless and I would absolutely love capturing it. Love pron? Somethin'. And... she is hooked... HARD. She will now kill for him. Just... a thought.
You know who you are.
I've got to!
.
.
Oh, just waking up and still a bit torqued about some things. Must have dreamed about them because I hit the flooring ready to pounce. Doctors, medicine, something, really has my tail under foot. *RRRyowcH* When every doctor you meet either acts like they are playing aggressive, even disrespectfully aggressive chess with you, treats you like you are a child, as if you are insane (if in a safe enough form of insanity to yell at you), or like you are an hysteric... and further makes huge mistakes in your care... not just one but every frigging one of them... you learn to have a deep seated absolutely confrontational or seriously passive but highly defensive approach when dealing with them (depending on which way they come at you and what you think is your best tactical tack response and think actual self preservation in these approaches).
It seems as if they want to get as close to healing/helping you as possible and then leave it one, two, or three ticks off target so that you are never quite 'good', you can't quite heal, you aren't comfortable. It's like they know, like an eye doctor might suspect when testing your eyes, "Is 1, *click* or 2, better?", your eyes what works, but doesn't want to give it to you. It's like that eye doctor wants your vision to be less than it could be. They seem to want to hurt me, they don't want me healthy. Well, the "good doctors" do that, the bad ones just give me a prescription for a rope, a step stool, and a few other things they really think I ought to use as they prescribed, verbatim. Some doctors you just have to see coming, the rest of them you shouldn't let near you. Fuckers.
You can't fully trust their medicine. Some of them, you think, are in the rightish neighborhood, often by accident. My health came about because three different doctors, uninvolved with the other two, I allowed to give me minimal prescriptions, of different kinds, and I took all of them on a... bet, a gamble. When you find those 'one to three ticks off doctors', if you are in good shape, you let them tinker a bit (until, again, they prove they have no idea what they are doing or are merely experimenting because you are particularly interesting or because they want you sick or worse), you do what you must, you take control and risks, and you do what you must. Oh, they will give me sh*t about it. And I will completely f'ing ignore them. If they want to cut me off, fine. They were ignoring my worries, my concerns, and even my needs. My blood pressure is still pretty high, my function level is still pretty low, my fluid level is high, but I have dropped 3 or 4 of that extra 10 pounds, and am starting to feel better again. A few more days to a week of playing ball by my rules and I should be back in the game. If they had at least given some kind of a nod to what I was concerned about it would have been easier. Nope, their way, their stuff, everything else ignored. Further, if this had been one iota successful, I might have just gone sledding with those notions. Nope, I was dropping like a rock, by adding weight, water, blood pressure, and loss of function. If it was winter, that too would have been another thing, a bit, but only regarding function. But it is not, there really isn't an external reason. Definitely the meds.
So, I expect they will lambast me, or sigh with disappointment, or check some little box, smirk, or give me crap in some other way. Tough titty, I don't trust them. And they haven't earned trust. They, like all before them, in any field, would just let me rot and not even worry about it. Just keep tossing meds, blood tests, other tests, and watching as I fall. Grima Wormtongues indeed. Where is my fucking sword! Ah well, some other King has decided to preserve them. Bah!
I went to bed far later than I had planned last night. I was watching the clock on the computer. I have to set that clock every time I turn the computer on, the loaner computer is missing a battery for powerdown back-up. I thought I had set it. Nope. What I thought was 21:43 was more like 23:54 or something. I closed up shop when I figured this all out. At least I slept well, and fell asleep easily. I set the alarm for 9:00 or something but wasn't out of that bed until 10:00 or a little more. The cats were not allowed in and were screwing around at the door all night. Still a bit burned out, from cat folly, dreams, and the last few days, I don't know if I will get to anything today. I would like to find that camera, tinker on the bike, and locate a card reader for the camera card, look for those hiking books, and make some calls. I don't know if I will do much, but I will... put in what I can.
Good day.
.
Oh, just waking up and still a bit torqued about some things. Must have dreamed about them because I hit the flooring ready to pounce. Doctors, medicine, something, really has my tail under foot. *RRRyowcH* When every doctor you meet either acts like they are playing aggressive, even disrespectfully aggressive chess with you, treats you like you are a child, as if you are insane (if in a safe enough form of insanity to yell at you), or like you are an hysteric... and further makes huge mistakes in your care... not just one but every frigging one of them... you learn to have a deep seated absolutely confrontational or seriously passive but highly defensive approach when dealing with them (depending on which way they come at you and what you think is your best tactical tack response and think actual self preservation in these approaches).
It seems as if they want to get as close to healing/helping you as possible and then leave it one, two, or three ticks off target so that you are never quite 'good', you can't quite heal, you aren't comfortable. It's like they know, like an eye doctor might suspect when testing your eyes, "Is 1, *click* or 2, better?", your eyes what works, but doesn't want to give it to you. It's like that eye doctor wants your vision to be less than it could be. They seem to want to hurt me, they don't want me healthy. Well, the "good doctors" do that, the bad ones just give me a prescription for a rope, a step stool, and a few other things they really think I ought to use as they prescribed, verbatim. Some doctors you just have to see coming, the rest of them you shouldn't let near you. Fuckers.
You can't fully trust their medicine. Some of them, you think, are in the rightish neighborhood, often by accident. My health came about because three different doctors, uninvolved with the other two, I allowed to give me minimal prescriptions, of different kinds, and I took all of them on a... bet, a gamble. When you find those 'one to three ticks off doctors', if you are in good shape, you let them tinker a bit (until, again, they prove they have no idea what they are doing or are merely experimenting because you are particularly interesting or because they want you sick or worse), you do what you must, you take control and risks, and you do what you must. Oh, they will give me sh*t about it. And I will completely f'ing ignore them. If they want to cut me off, fine. They were ignoring my worries, my concerns, and even my needs. My blood pressure is still pretty high, my function level is still pretty low, my fluid level is high, but I have dropped 3 or 4 of that extra 10 pounds, and am starting to feel better again. A few more days to a week of playing ball by my rules and I should be back in the game. If they had at least given some kind of a nod to what I was concerned about it would have been easier. Nope, their way, their stuff, everything else ignored. Further, if this had been one iota successful, I might have just gone sledding with those notions. Nope, I was dropping like a rock, by adding weight, water, blood pressure, and loss of function. If it was winter, that too would have been another thing, a bit, but only regarding function. But it is not, there really isn't an external reason. Definitely the meds.
So, I expect they will lambast me, or sigh with disappointment, or check some little box, smirk, or give me crap in some other way. Tough titty, I don't trust them. And they haven't earned trust. They, like all before them, in any field, would just let me rot and not even worry about it. Just keep tossing meds, blood tests, other tests, and watching as I fall. Grima Wormtongues indeed. Where is my fucking sword! Ah well, some other King has decided to preserve them. Bah!
I went to bed far later than I had planned last night. I was watching the clock on the computer. I have to set that clock every time I turn the computer on, the loaner computer is missing a battery for powerdown back-up. I thought I had set it. Nope. What I thought was 21:43 was more like 23:54 or something. I closed up shop when I figured this all out. At least I slept well, and fell asleep easily. I set the alarm for 9:00 or something but wasn't out of that bed until 10:00 or a little more. The cats were not allowed in and were screwing around at the door all night. Still a bit burned out, from cat folly, dreams, and the last few days, I don't know if I will get to anything today. I would like to find that camera, tinker on the bike, and locate a card reader for the camera card, look for those hiking books, and make some calls. I don't know if I will do much, but I will... put in what I can.
Good day.
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Topics in the news.
.
.
While California is bleeding companies, and jobs, a half dozen conservative states are taking them in as fast as they can. I am sure many companies don't want to move to conservative states. They are in California because it is socially free there. They can smoke pot, have it delivered even. They can do anything they could in Sin City, without the flash and potential for other problems, so long as they keep it discreet. Similar to other states, all states?, but not. Money is king there, if you have it you can do whatever you want.
Now, it seems like California is losing. And they are. But... is that the plan? Every big business that leaves California and sets up shop in a conservative or at least business friendly state, whether it takes it's liberal employees or not, takes with it the mandate of quotas and the liberalization that is required by federal law and seemingly corporate group think these days. Is having 100,000 more jobs worth selling your soul? I don't know, just some thoughts.
The other thing I saw in the news was some sort of legislation (out of the House of course) to allow standard light bulbs, based on freedom of choice. Fine, nice. But far too late. I think half of the reason to ban filament light bulbs had more to do with removing that manufacturing sector from the U.S. That, most likely, has already been done. Republicans are so very reactive as to be comical, except it's not at all funny. And, yes, I think they know what they are doing. Let the thieves steal everything, then change the law saying that thieves can no longer steal, but grandfather in the theft. Whatever.
Politicians are not your savior, they aren't your friend, they aren't family, they are businessmen going about making life easier for themselves and for their clans. Even the ones I think could help, I am no fool, are not doing it for the right reasons, they aren't doing it for the good of men (it just happens that their way is preferable and most successful) and they would be just as bad if allowed free reign. Trust no man, especially politicians who play men in real life. Actors and businessmen. Then again, Democrats are outright evil. They MEAN to control you, hurt you, take your real rights, give you false ones, and rule. Republicans are just looking at making a buck and getting re-elected.
I expect a complete and utter Republican cave on the budget. Not only will almost no spending be cut, no amendment proposed, and taxes go up, but nothing will be tied to anything. Oh, there will be a "package". It will taste just like the last budget package. Perhaps that is politics, as good as they can do, but they will pay, right along with the Democrats. Unless people just give up. Actually, it looks like people are giving up. I'm not giving up, but I know the game is already lost. The economy could be repaired. The same way we could send men to Mars in a decade. My guess is, if we exist in a decade, we will all be third-worlders. Then again, banks won't be able to foreclose. There was a reason bandits were popular, even the more ruthless among them sometimes. When no one has anything, many dream of just taking what little anyone else has. Not good, but people are flawed.
Good night.
.
While California is bleeding companies, and jobs, a half dozen conservative states are taking them in as fast as they can. I am sure many companies don't want to move to conservative states. They are in California because it is socially free there. They can smoke pot, have it delivered even. They can do anything they could in Sin City, without the flash and potential for other problems, so long as they keep it discreet. Similar to other states, all states?, but not. Money is king there, if you have it you can do whatever you want.
Now, it seems like California is losing. And they are. But... is that the plan? Every big business that leaves California and sets up shop in a conservative or at least business friendly state, whether it takes it's liberal employees or not, takes with it the mandate of quotas and the liberalization that is required by federal law and seemingly corporate group think these days. Is having 100,000 more jobs worth selling your soul? I don't know, just some thoughts.
The other thing I saw in the news was some sort of legislation (out of the House of course) to allow standard light bulbs, based on freedom of choice. Fine, nice. But far too late. I think half of the reason to ban filament light bulbs had more to do with removing that manufacturing sector from the U.S. That, most likely, has already been done. Republicans are so very reactive as to be comical, except it's not at all funny. And, yes, I think they know what they are doing. Let the thieves steal everything, then change the law saying that thieves can no longer steal, but grandfather in the theft. Whatever.
Politicians are not your savior, they aren't your friend, they aren't family, they are businessmen going about making life easier for themselves and for their clans. Even the ones I think could help, I am no fool, are not doing it for the right reasons, they aren't doing it for the good of men (it just happens that their way is preferable and most successful) and they would be just as bad if allowed free reign. Trust no man, especially politicians who play men in real life. Actors and businessmen. Then again, Democrats are outright evil. They MEAN to control you, hurt you, take your real rights, give you false ones, and rule. Republicans are just looking at making a buck and getting re-elected.
I expect a complete and utter Republican cave on the budget. Not only will almost no spending be cut, no amendment proposed, and taxes go up, but nothing will be tied to anything. Oh, there will be a "package". It will taste just like the last budget package. Perhaps that is politics, as good as they can do, but they will pay, right along with the Democrats. Unless people just give up. Actually, it looks like people are giving up. I'm not giving up, but I know the game is already lost. The economy could be repaired. The same way we could send men to Mars in a decade. My guess is, if we exist in a decade, we will all be third-worlders. Then again, banks won't be able to foreclose. There was a reason bandits were popular, even the more ruthless among them sometimes. When no one has anything, many dream of just taking what little anyone else has. Not good, but people are flawed.
Good night.
I am taking a risk.
.
.
My ability to function has decreased with increased fluid and blood pressure. None of that seems to bother the doctors. Nor does gaining ten pounds, when I thought the cutoff was about five pounds. My sense of being under water keeps increasing, as well... pulmonary edema, full blown, seems to be just around the corner. I won't go there. While I understand there are other parameters to be watched, I simply won't allow edema to creep back in, for any reason. So, I'm going to do what I feel I must. I will let them know tomorrow... or... whenever I can get my head screwed around doing... making... some calls. Another 20 mg of lasix, in the evening for now. If that doesn't work I'll move it to the morning with the rest of it.
I keep 'oiling' my ears. They should be loose enough to use the bulb syringe to attempt to remove the wax. Two things seem to perplex me. One of them is that I need to get water to as close to body temperature as possible. Oddly, I am not sure how to go about that. The thermometers I have are digital, and the ones with alarms do not offer an alarm as temperatures fall. I am not even sure if they are useful at that low of a temperature. If they do go that low, I would probably have to do a fairly large 'batch' of water, as a small amount would heat too quickly. The other problem is, in the evenings when I would truly consider doing this, I have been extremely tired. My evenings are becoming what my whole days used to be. Focus is off. Then again, I think night time exhaustion is... good. normal. Perhaps a little heavier for me than most, but... it beats being like that all day.
The duct tape does seem to be working on the moles. They aren't gone. But they do look like coop shoppers now compared to steak restaurant eaters before duct tape. They look wasted, pale, and near death. A few more days of tape and I will use one of my pocket knives to... explore. I don't want them to bleed, I merely wish to see if the skin around them will loosen a bit, perhaps to see if they will pop out. Who knows. No surgery, just some investigation. I have been plagued by these darned things before. If this works, I will be eminently pleased. Doctors... they just had me come back, and back, and back, until I gave up on them. Eventually they do go away. But for me, it was years, not a year or two. Gross! *zip* That's all they wrote for you, Mr. Wart... I hope.
Pretty zapped still. Not as bad as earlier. I was hoping to avoid a nap. Now I am just trying to hang on until 21:00 to 22:00. It seems when I try to hang on, I zombify and sometimes, then, can't sleep at all. Such a balancing act. But I am learning so much about how to treat the little problems. Not always successfully, every time, but the tricks are real and often work. A little more consciousness, a little more of an ability to focus, and added memory all lend a significant amount to function. Each is exponentially adding to my function. Combined? I honestly wonder what God ever had in mind for me if I were to be fully functional? Seriously, it's almost frightening. I am almost glad I am ill. I'm not sure I could use what is here, in my flesh. Now I am passing my prime, the onus of excellence is past. But I could still... make a decent life for myself, in a small way. That's good enough for me. It's all I ever hoped.
Well, on to tinkering. Just reading, blogging rounds, a bit of gaming, and cooling down while staying up for a decent night's sleep. Good night. God bless.
.
My ability to function has decreased with increased fluid and blood pressure. None of that seems to bother the doctors. Nor does gaining ten pounds, when I thought the cutoff was about five pounds. My sense of being under water keeps increasing, as well... pulmonary edema, full blown, seems to be just around the corner. I won't go there. While I understand there are other parameters to be watched, I simply won't allow edema to creep back in, for any reason. So, I'm going to do what I feel I must. I will let them know tomorrow... or... whenever I can get my head screwed around doing... making... some calls. Another 20 mg of lasix, in the evening for now. If that doesn't work I'll move it to the morning with the rest of it.
I keep 'oiling' my ears. They should be loose enough to use the bulb syringe to attempt to remove the wax. Two things seem to perplex me. One of them is that I need to get water to as close to body temperature as possible. Oddly, I am not sure how to go about that. The thermometers I have are digital, and the ones with alarms do not offer an alarm as temperatures fall. I am not even sure if they are useful at that low of a temperature. If they do go that low, I would probably have to do a fairly large 'batch' of water, as a small amount would heat too quickly. The other problem is, in the evenings when I would truly consider doing this, I have been extremely tired. My evenings are becoming what my whole days used to be. Focus is off. Then again, I think night time exhaustion is... good. normal. Perhaps a little heavier for me than most, but... it beats being like that all day.
The duct tape does seem to be working on the moles. They aren't gone. But they do look like coop shoppers now compared to steak restaurant eaters before duct tape. They look wasted, pale, and near death. A few more days of tape and I will use one of my pocket knives to... explore. I don't want them to bleed, I merely wish to see if the skin around them will loosen a bit, perhaps to see if they will pop out. Who knows. No surgery, just some investigation. I have been plagued by these darned things before. If this works, I will be eminently pleased. Doctors... they just had me come back, and back, and back, until I gave up on them. Eventually they do go away. But for me, it was years, not a year or two. Gross! *zip* That's all they wrote for you, Mr. Wart... I hope.
Pretty zapped still. Not as bad as earlier. I was hoping to avoid a nap. Now I am just trying to hang on until 21:00 to 22:00. It seems when I try to hang on, I zombify and sometimes, then, can't sleep at all. Such a balancing act. But I am learning so much about how to treat the little problems. Not always successfully, every time, but the tricks are real and often work. A little more consciousness, a little more of an ability to focus, and added memory all lend a significant amount to function. Each is exponentially adding to my function. Combined? I honestly wonder what God ever had in mind for me if I were to be fully functional? Seriously, it's almost frightening. I am almost glad I am ill. I'm not sure I could use what is here, in my flesh. Now I am passing my prime, the onus of excellence is past. But I could still... make a decent life for myself, in a small way. That's good enough for me. It's all I ever hoped.
Well, on to tinkering. Just reading, blogging rounds, a bit of gaming, and cooling down while staying up for a decent night's sleep. Good night. God bless.
It was a rough one.
.
.
The drive was great. The weather is cooler with a storm passing through. Traffic was rather mild, not too thick, mean, or slow. The appointment was a breeze. I did ask about an APAP but I was told that is contraindicated because of my heart condition. And the bi-PAP was out too. So, it's a CPAP. I am supposed to call someone and set up an in-home setup. But I truly hate having people in my home, you never know what kind of creepy people will arrive. And it seems, more and more, if the work has anything to do with the government, the workers will be the gnarliest people the government can find. So, I may see if I can go in to an office and have it done. Some people I don't want in my house, heck, I don't want them to know where I live. How can I know if they just show up?
In spite of pushing, hard, to make it. I never quite... pulled myself out of that morning exhaustion. It is not like, lately, I have been overflowing with energy. But I have been rested when I wake, I have been able to do some things on some days, and it hasn't been an issue to my conscious mind. I am doing less these last few weeks. But I haven't felt tired. Today is different. No matter, I did make it in, on time, and got it done. The woman doing the physical and review... was shocked at me. She simply couldn't wrap her head around my physical condition and physical appearance. She stated simply that I shouldn't... look this good. And I suggested, or do what I do as well as I do, given all. I could have said more, but that would have just been snark (not at her, or doctors, just... just snark). It might have been funny too, in a guy way. But one must assume all professional women are feminists and never discuss anything with them. Ever.
Anyway, that is where things stand. I honestly doubt if I have any sleep apnea whatsoever. I never just fall asleep. Heck, sometimes I CAN'T even nap when I want. Tired, sure. But the heart covers that. The only reason I went with the machine is just in case the machine might improve conditions brought about by the heart condition. There is no more a sleep apnea problem than there was a psychiatric condition. I will try it for a month, maybe two. If I see no improvement, I will toss Darth Vader's lungbox back to them.
Later.
.
The drive was great. The weather is cooler with a storm passing through. Traffic was rather mild, not too thick, mean, or slow. The appointment was a breeze. I did ask about an APAP but I was told that is contraindicated because of my heart condition. And the bi-PAP was out too. So, it's a CPAP. I am supposed to call someone and set up an in-home setup. But I truly hate having people in my home, you never know what kind of creepy people will arrive. And it seems, more and more, if the work has anything to do with the government, the workers will be the gnarliest people the government can find. So, I may see if I can go in to an office and have it done. Some people I don't want in my house, heck, I don't want them to know where I live. How can I know if they just show up?
In spite of pushing, hard, to make it. I never quite... pulled myself out of that morning exhaustion. It is not like, lately, I have been overflowing with energy. But I have been rested when I wake, I have been able to do some things on some days, and it hasn't been an issue to my conscious mind. I am doing less these last few weeks. But I haven't felt tired. Today is different. No matter, I did make it in, on time, and got it done. The woman doing the physical and review... was shocked at me. She simply couldn't wrap her head around my physical condition and physical appearance. She stated simply that I shouldn't... look this good. And I suggested, or do what I do as well as I do, given all. I could have said more, but that would have just been snark (not at her, or doctors, just... just snark). It might have been funny too, in a guy way. But one must assume all professional women are feminists and never discuss anything with them. Ever.
Anyway, that is where things stand. I honestly doubt if I have any sleep apnea whatsoever. I never just fall asleep. Heck, sometimes I CAN'T even nap when I want. Tired, sure. But the heart covers that. The only reason I went with the machine is just in case the machine might improve conditions brought about by the heart condition. There is no more a sleep apnea problem than there was a psychiatric condition. I will try it for a month, maybe two. If I see no improvement, I will toss Darth Vader's lungbox back to them.
Later.
Oh, where is that rock?
.
.
I know I just crawled out from under it, or was it taken away from me? Tired, to be sure. I didn't hear the alarm until 6:30. I did wake pretty quickly after the sound penetrated to my mind, it had been going off since 6:00. But I got up, got on the scale, took my meds, and then thought, "YOUCH! I am so very tired." It may have been just being out in the heat most of yesterday, tinkering on that darned uncooperative bike. Concentrating all day, pouring my efforts in on a project that truly kept me busy all day, mostly out in the heat, probably helped to wear me down. Oh, poor baby you say? Yeah, I know. You do that 5 to 7 days a week, then go out for your play time. I haven't been able to do that for decades or I would have, damn you. I could make a lot more money applying myself in fields that interest me.
Plus, I would be working on interesting things and meeting some of the dullest people you can think of. Not stupid, just not excitable. Precisely the people I like to work with. Then again, I think engineering types, and possibly some mathematicians, are quiet because they realize how stupid we and others are in a way, and how dangerous opinions can be to careers. We live in the U.S.S.A. now. Say nigger and you could get fired, have your career ruined, even be sued for harassment. It might even technically be dangerous to write in a post. Even more reason to not work with minorities or women, and it is worth looking for jobs were there are none. Then again, you still have to watch for the little 'state thought alarmists' who have crept into so many offices, minor places of power, into PR and HR departments of companies, government posts everywhere and always, and wherever else they may sneak in. A slip of the tongue, a bit of anger, believed in or not... *BAM* Your career is over, your hard earned degree becomes mere paper, toast. Have they bastardized Twain's/Clemens' writings yet?
I just want to crawl back under the covers. I just want to go back to bed. I really considered calling in and rescheduling, but... no. I will dig into my expressed persona, real or not, dig through the piggy bank of energy for the remnants, and push, pull, shove, trick, and anything else I can use to get myself through the motions. A cup of wonderful coffee might help, but it also might raise my pulse. A double breve, medium, with vanilla... iced. Maybe two! Or if I sort of make it at home, a doser per 2 ounces of water, milk (or whole cream if I had it), vanilla extract (real), and sugar, with ice. Oh, wait! It's not with the heart people... Oh, best get some water on, quick! No, too late for that. But I could pick one up on the way? No, expensive and... by then the need will have passed.
I hope to find a bike mechanic who can lead me in the right direction today. I would sure like to get on that bike. But... not without a front brake! On the flip side, that I could work on a project for a full day and more... super! Sustainable? It is an improvement, vast improvement.
Good fortunes with your day.
.
I know I just crawled out from under it, or was it taken away from me? Tired, to be sure. I didn't hear the alarm until 6:30. I did wake pretty quickly after the sound penetrated to my mind, it had been going off since 6:00. But I got up, got on the scale, took my meds, and then thought, "YOUCH! I am so very tired." It may have been just being out in the heat most of yesterday, tinkering on that darned uncooperative bike. Concentrating all day, pouring my efforts in on a project that truly kept me busy all day, mostly out in the heat, probably helped to wear me down. Oh, poor baby you say? Yeah, I know. You do that 5 to 7 days a week, then go out for your play time. I haven't been able to do that for decades or I would have, damn you. I could make a lot more money applying myself in fields that interest me.
Plus, I would be working on interesting things and meeting some of the dullest people you can think of. Not stupid, just not excitable. Precisely the people I like to work with. Then again, I think engineering types, and possibly some mathematicians, are quiet because they realize how stupid we and others are in a way, and how dangerous opinions can be to careers. We live in the U.S.S.A. now. Say nigger and you could get fired, have your career ruined, even be sued for harassment. It might even technically be dangerous to write in a post. Even more reason to not work with minorities or women, and it is worth looking for jobs were there are none. Then again, you still have to watch for the little 'state thought alarmists' who have crept into so many offices, minor places of power, into PR and HR departments of companies, government posts everywhere and always, and wherever else they may sneak in. A slip of the tongue, a bit of anger, believed in or not... *BAM* Your career is over, your hard earned degree becomes mere paper, toast. Have they bastardized Twain's/Clemens' writings yet?
I just want to crawl back under the covers. I just want to go back to bed. I really considered calling in and rescheduling, but... no. I will dig into my expressed persona, real or not, dig through the piggy bank of energy for the remnants, and push, pull, shove, trick, and anything else I can use to get myself through the motions. A cup of wonderful coffee might help, but it also might raise my pulse. A double breve, medium, with vanilla... iced. Maybe two! Or if I sort of make it at home, a doser per 2 ounces of water, milk (or whole cream if I had it), vanilla extract (real), and sugar, with ice. Oh, wait! It's not with the heart people... Oh, best get some water on, quick! No, too late for that. But I could pick one up on the way? No, expensive and... by then the need will have passed.
I hope to find a bike mechanic who can lead me in the right direction today. I would sure like to get on that bike. But... not without a front brake! On the flip side, that I could work on a project for a full day and more... super! Sustainable? It is an improvement, vast improvement.
Good fortunes with your day.
Monday, July 11, 2011
Dang it!
.
.
An appointment snuck up. Thankfully they called. But, tomorrow, early, and I'm having trouble crashing. It's nearly midnight and I need to be up by 6:00. Yeah, I know, that's just a bit shy on sleep. But it assumes I can fall right to sleep and that I can wake up. I've been wrestling that darned bike all day. It really shouldn't be this hard. Perhaps the bike is broken? I will be stopping at a bike shop tomorrow, or several until I find someone with answers. I am tired but that does not mean I will sleep. This is for the CPAP machine. I think I have D.C.'s comment regarding that on my cellphone email still. I do believe they plan on offering an APAP, since they couldn't get, exactly, what they wanted from testing. Look, I'll examine their data, but I'm telling you, I probably don't need the device. Still, if they are a go with it, I'll try it. How long before I know whether the device is bunk or whether I really could use it?
While I am there, I will ask them to print out my upcoming appointments. And... I will try not to lose that list. Further, I will try to get my appointments put into my cell phone. I am really falling down. Is it really the blood pressure going back up a bit which is doing it? Is it the heat? My pulse is remaining low. I am thinking they want more water in me than what works well for high functioning. Water, high blood pressure... blood pressure, water... When one or both of those is up, regardless if one causes the other or they are independent, my all around function decreases. But if I lower those, my kidney function degrades, fairly quickly. *grump* I was doing so well. Now I am just... hanging on, mostly.
Well, on to bed. Good night, Mary Ellen.
.
An appointment snuck up. Thankfully they called. But, tomorrow, early, and I'm having trouble crashing. It's nearly midnight and I need to be up by 6:00. Yeah, I know, that's just a bit shy on sleep. But it assumes I can fall right to sleep and that I can wake up. I've been wrestling that darned bike all day. It really shouldn't be this hard. Perhaps the bike is broken? I will be stopping at a bike shop tomorrow, or several until I find someone with answers. I am tired but that does not mean I will sleep. This is for the CPAP machine. I think I have D.C.'s comment regarding that on my cellphone email still. I do believe they plan on offering an APAP, since they couldn't get, exactly, what they wanted from testing. Look, I'll examine their data, but I'm telling you, I probably don't need the device. Still, if they are a go with it, I'll try it. How long before I know whether the device is bunk or whether I really could use it?
While I am there, I will ask them to print out my upcoming appointments. And... I will try not to lose that list. Further, I will try to get my appointments put into my cell phone. I am really falling down. Is it really the blood pressure going back up a bit which is doing it? Is it the heat? My pulse is remaining low. I am thinking they want more water in me than what works well for high functioning. Water, high blood pressure... blood pressure, water... When one or both of those is up, regardless if one causes the other or they are independent, my all around function decreases. But if I lower those, my kidney function degrades, fairly quickly. *grump* I was doing so well. Now I am just... hanging on, mostly.
Well, on to bed. Good night, Mary Ellen.
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