.
.
Damned kids! I was sure I had everything up. The repeat dead phone calls had stopped. So... who was this? They have figured out how to call without it leaving a trace on my phone, other than in a temporary file. This one has called two or three times just today. I was asleep so didn't hear any but that last. I grabbed the phone and had to monkey with button pushing to finally figure out who was calling. Unlike what usually happens, I did actually get instructions and there was something on the other end. It eventually led to a human, a woman. Carly.
A bit put out? Hmm, yes. But mostly contained. "Urhm, you know this call is being recorded", she asked. Hell yeah I know. Who is this, what is this? It turns out this is that old medical bill from the emergency room. In two years(?) it has morphed from $450 to $1200. Wish I could charge interest like that! I explained the problem, my health situation and limitations, and then let her talk. They do have a V.A. specialist. So... why I asked, the last time I talked to someone about this, was that service not used? And why am I getting call after call after call? One thing at a time. She told me she was taking over the case, so I would receive no calls but from her. Check. Then, she said she would send this over to her Veterans specialist. At 100% permanent and total, service connected, I don't pay emergency room visits. The hospital ganked the billing anyway. I have been there two other times, and they KNOW I'm a vet. They billed the other visits to the V.A., without my help. Every time I have tried to help it was taken out of my hands anyway, so I don't get involved anymore. Okay, no calls, dealing with one person, V.A. will be being checked... good, so far, for what it is worth. Then I asked, if the V.A. picks this up, will this come off my credit report? Yes. But I will have to keep on top of that (meaning a call every six months until I am sure it worked, and probably a credit report proving it). Bleh.
Well, I had just awaken so I wasn't even awake when dealing with that. My IRE is up, but I am still not awake. Such a weird biological place for me that... it's like trying to see through one right and one wrong lens in a pair of glasses. I'm a bit dizzy and nauseated from it. But... if it takes care of the problem, it will be worth it. Damned kids. Can't pick meat off bones anyway.
Later.
Thursday, November 14, 2013
Wednesday, November 13, 2013
A maybe trip?
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.
Recently invited for a potential trip, I did the logical thing. I've been that way before, but as part of a larger trip. Plus, I'm not in top form atm. Between meds, sleep shifting again, and just having eaten a large amount of pasta, the brain isn't working. That's what computers are for anyway, isn't it? So, I went to MapQuest, my preferred mapper, and plugged everything in. It came out the the trip would cost $500, in gas, roughly. Since I used it before, I assumed it was still set up. I think I have checked their cookies and allow the ones needed. Then I looked at the mileage again, just looking at various paths. Okay, that was way off. I get better than 7 gallons to the mile, which is roughly what the cost estimate would have indicated. Nope, a check on my calculator, even adding in for less mileage than I actually get, and the gas costs are more like $134. Now, that is one way, and assumes gas prices don't jump, but still. Full trip would be less than half of what half the trip was being suggested. Don't know about these programs, always.
It wouldn't be bad to get out, away, do something. Timing, though... I will be going up on medicines shortly, so an immediate trip would be unlikely. But in a month? Dunno, just thinking. You know, I haven't ever thought of traveling on such short notice in my adult life since becoming ill. I never had it in me to even think of such a thing. It's... novel. I wrote this little note to cma. I wrote an email about it, and the recipient must have thought me a mad man, more than usual. Nope, just MapQuest kicking me in the quads and hanging me out to intellectually dry. But I did catch it, eventually.
Later.
.
Recently invited for a potential trip, I did the logical thing. I've been that way before, but as part of a larger trip. Plus, I'm not in top form atm. Between meds, sleep shifting again, and just having eaten a large amount of pasta, the brain isn't working. That's what computers are for anyway, isn't it? So, I went to MapQuest, my preferred mapper, and plugged everything in. It came out the the trip would cost $500, in gas, roughly. Since I used it before, I assumed it was still set up. I think I have checked their cookies and allow the ones needed. Then I looked at the mileage again, just looking at various paths. Okay, that was way off. I get better than 7 gallons to the mile, which is roughly what the cost estimate would have indicated. Nope, a check on my calculator, even adding in for less mileage than I actually get, and the gas costs are more like $134. Now, that is one way, and assumes gas prices don't jump, but still. Full trip would be less than half of what half the trip was being suggested. Don't know about these programs, always.
It wouldn't be bad to get out, away, do something. Timing, though... I will be going up on medicines shortly, so an immediate trip would be unlikely. But in a month? Dunno, just thinking. You know, I haven't ever thought of traveling on such short notice in my adult life since becoming ill. I never had it in me to even think of such a thing. It's... novel. I wrote this little note to cma. I wrote an email about it, and the recipient must have thought me a mad man, more than usual. Nope, just MapQuest kicking me in the quads and hanging me out to intellectually dry. But I did catch it, eventually.
Later.
Hey, what do you know. I can do something.
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Don't know why it happened. It isn't that I was more driven. It isn't that I am more frustrated. Nothing new, good or bad, going on. I have started hitting the kitchen. I am hot soaking dishes for an couple of hours. Then do a wash and soak again, in soapy water for a final wash. Yeah... I started cleaning parts of the kitchen as well. Hmm, after a bit of that I decided I was hungry. Since I am doing what needs to be done, I decided to risk dirtying another pan and started a boil for tuna and noodles, or shells anyway.
What all am I going to get done? Don't know, or care. I'll do what I can for as long as I can, today, tomorrow, and more... as long as it lasts. Laundry next. The kitchen, while messy, is much better after the ladies and gent helped. It's just surface stuff. If I can finish up the dishes, hit the kitchen back to their level, and get laundry, I am hoping to hit unpacking, cleaning, and storing from the trip. Yeah, yeah, three months... You ought to see when I really don't want to do something. *blink blink* :)
Well... on to... my break. Later.
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Don't know why it happened. It isn't that I was more driven. It isn't that I am more frustrated. Nothing new, good or bad, going on. I have started hitting the kitchen. I am hot soaking dishes for an couple of hours. Then do a wash and soak again, in soapy water for a final wash. Yeah... I started cleaning parts of the kitchen as well. Hmm, after a bit of that I decided I was hungry. Since I am doing what needs to be done, I decided to risk dirtying another pan and started a boil for tuna and noodles, or shells anyway.
What all am I going to get done? Don't know, or care. I'll do what I can for as long as I can, today, tomorrow, and more... as long as it lasts. Laundry next. The kitchen, while messy, is much better after the ladies and gent helped. It's just surface stuff. If I can finish up the dishes, hit the kitchen back to their level, and get laundry, I am hoping to hit unpacking, cleaning, and storing from the trip. Yeah, yeah, three months... You ought to see when I really don't want to do something. *blink blink* :)
Well... on to... my break. Later.
Thoughts and update.
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Nothing good or bad happening. Still stuck in a form of physical limbo though. I have a lot of things I want to do, but as can be the case, lack either the focus, the native bodily function, or both, to get to them. Frustrated, but sort of used to it... at least there is the hope that when medicines are fully up-titrated, I will find... things smooth out. Further, since I am feeling so good in some ways, or hitting spikes, I may just go full dose in a week rather than going to three quarters dosage.
I have been looking at my finances. As soon as I can become mobile, I will be taking care of an old promise, or trying to do so. I just can't get out, right now, to deal with that. A few things I had hoped to consider have been considered.
I looked at the PS4 and decided it is not doable. All new games would have to be bought, as there is no crossover from older platforms. I simply haven't seen a new game I would even be interested in playing, a very bad thing. I would need a slew of games that would make it worth my while to pick up that kind of a tab on a new system. I'll wait for prices to drop and the library to grow, mature. I was hearing that while there was no requirement to be in the system, to pay to play essentially, that the truth is you would have to pay. As it turns out, that is only true if you play online with a bunch of other turds. Not my gig. I don't bother with that. I play solo games, all by myself, and prefer it that way. To those guys who have to play with your friends... I just have to ask... do you go to the bathroom with your friends too? Males have become so damned socialized and emasculated. It's annoying.
Which is fine. I think my Christmas present to myself with be a wheat grinder. I am comparing Country Living and the GrainMaker. Yes, the GM can spit out, literally, twice the wheat, same consistency, as the CL, with the same number of cranks, but at an up-front standalone 50% premium to an already high cost, plus replacement parts that if purchased for each device doubles the cost of the GM versus the CL (CL-$429 solo, ~$700 with accessories including replacement parts, GM-$675 solo, ~$1,400 with accessories and parts kits). Further, the CL can simply be hooked up to a bike on a stand, the GM requires a kit, for an additional ~$270 or so. I would have to buy a stand for a bike or an exercise bike of some sort, with the CL, which I haven't thought to price yet, so... I don't know how that $270 compares but I am pretty sure that is much pricier. Further, I am holding off to see how well I can use the grinder as is before deciding whether attaching a bike would even be wanted. I don't use all that much flour as is. You pay a hefty premium for that speed. Still, if I decide to go the GM way, I could buy the parts and accessories wanted over time. With the CL, though, I could buy everything I want, sum total, in one round, especially with the PS 4, if it is ever bought, put off for at least a year or three. I am strongly leaning toward the GM, but I need more information.
Both are made in the US, if that matters to you. It doesn't matter to me, so much, as longevity and quality of the end product. I do like that the GM is from a farmer, entrepreneur, but that is only a minor consideration. Not sure about CL, save that it is made in the US. Another thing to consider, for GM again, is that it is much simpler to take apart, both augers fit on the machine either in use or on a designated spot, and it is not dependent on small parts to fit together and work, so taking it apart and putting in a new auger isn't as much of a risk. Small parts can be killers. I know I would buy a handful of extras, the more inexpensive ones, for the CL if I do go that way.
To this end, I wrote an email to a woman who has owned and used for her personal family, and for years, both machines. She wrote an article some time back, which greatly influences my thought process. I simply had more questions. There are some technical questions that, while she might not know in a scientific manner she probably knows just from experience at this point. Which is good. Science seems to be a bought and sold disinformation industry these days anyway. A few questions about longevity of the grinder parts, how many functions can actually be expected from both devices, and just how available increased functions (such as not just grinding, but perhaps flaking) each device might be open to, and the parts that would have to be purchased associated with such upgrades. Dang it, I dig deep. As deeply as I can. I don't mind paying more, so long as I am not losing anything and the costs can be justified in a very material way... mostly. But, ouch! It's a lot of danged money.
I am also looking at replacing my reverse osmosis. As I suggested, the faucet that came with it broke. Well, what keeps it attached to the counter broke. There are two pieces, at least, that would need to be replaced. Each piece, being a Sears p.o.s., is pot metal, and small, and cost $50 each, last time I checked. I doubt if the price has gone done. Considering I might break things trying to fix things, the outrages costs already, and several other factors, I have looked around for another system. I believe I will be going with the Watts Premier 4-stage. From snap-change filters to the price, and reviews, it seems the way, for me, to go. It will cost nearly double the replacement parts. But if you looked at what it would take to create a repair, all thin cheap metals involved, you would realize a repair is a fools errand. A whole faucet would cost more than three new systems. Yeah, new system.
But in my research, I came across something I hadn't considered. Home water pressure might be why I am having problems, from time to time, with various faucets. I don't know, it's just a thought. So, while shopping, I added a water pressure valve so that, through my odd sleep patterns, I can check water pressure throughout the day and night and see if I need a water pressure regulator. Yeah, techy weird stuff, but... high water pressure can be a serious problem. A quality regulator would last a good long time, if not terribly cheap they certainly aren't prohibitively expensive either. Hmm... while I'm there, I might as well look for a mesh strainer with tight enough screening to work with the quinoa. I simply don't have micro mesh strainers at the moment and I would like to taste quinoa the right way.
Why a grain mill? First, I do plan to begin using it. I would like to end my reliance on store bought... whatever, as much as possible. I have a year's supply of grain, though I would probably begin buying smaller lots for short term use, until the stored grains begin to near timing out (for me, I think replacing those every ten years is the plan). I just don't know, or trust, manufactured foods anymore. I won't even swear they are being produced in the US, or will be in the near future. I don't trust store-bought food. Can't. This administration has made any inspection service we used to depend on... as much a possible lie as any other part of government. Plus, it would be required in a catastrophe in any case. And both of these would be strong enough to allow neighbors to use on top of my own use. There are preppers here, but I think they would be amazed at how much flour is needed when all food is made by hand and how little most mills put out. Having a ton of grain that can only be turned to flower a few cups per hour will be harsh. Call it a potential service industry. You need flour? I need salt, or sugar, or a bit of silver, or .22 bullets... In a short term worst case scenario, simply offer it for free to those who have grain, even sharing out grain. Trust me, it's coming. No, that isn't true. It's here. It just hasn't... like the zombie who doesn't realize it is dead and takes a half dozen more steps... It just hasn't sunk in yet. When it does? What just happened in the Philippines will seem small fry.
I simply pray, and often, for just a bit more time, for a few more things, real things. Why bother with the PS 3 and 4 then? Because I can't live only in that moment. I won't. I will have my nose shoved in it soon enough. We all will. I need... a distraction. Television is merely a reminder of all that is wrong, and points out the causes but as if those were good things. So, it doesn't work. Reading? Yeah, well, I can't. Quite often I simply cannot stay settled, or bring focus well enough, to distract myself that way. As if reading, mostly, is much different from television. Authors have been telling us about these times for centuries. The good ones offered warnings, the bad ones suggested hitting the gas on into oblivion. The bad ones seem to have been the ones who were obeyed. There is the bible, but I can only read that just so often. It's pretty rich reading and I still have limits. The bible I just bought will be brought to bear on several issues I ponder, but not so much for a serious rereading quite yet.
Hmm... Later.
.
Nothing good or bad happening. Still stuck in a form of physical limbo though. I have a lot of things I want to do, but as can be the case, lack either the focus, the native bodily function, or both, to get to them. Frustrated, but sort of used to it... at least there is the hope that when medicines are fully up-titrated, I will find... things smooth out. Further, since I am feeling so good in some ways, or hitting spikes, I may just go full dose in a week rather than going to three quarters dosage.
I have been looking at my finances. As soon as I can become mobile, I will be taking care of an old promise, or trying to do so. I just can't get out, right now, to deal with that. A few things I had hoped to consider have been considered.
I looked at the PS4 and decided it is not doable. All new games would have to be bought, as there is no crossover from older platforms. I simply haven't seen a new game I would even be interested in playing, a very bad thing. I would need a slew of games that would make it worth my while to pick up that kind of a tab on a new system. I'll wait for prices to drop and the library to grow, mature. I was hearing that while there was no requirement to be in the system, to pay to play essentially, that the truth is you would have to pay. As it turns out, that is only true if you play online with a bunch of other turds. Not my gig. I don't bother with that. I play solo games, all by myself, and prefer it that way. To those guys who have to play with your friends... I just have to ask... do you go to the bathroom with your friends too? Males have become so damned socialized and emasculated. It's annoying.
Which is fine. I think my Christmas present to myself with be a wheat grinder. I am comparing Country Living and the GrainMaker. Yes, the GM can spit out, literally, twice the wheat, same consistency, as the CL, with the same number of cranks, but at an up-front standalone 50% premium to an already high cost, plus replacement parts that if purchased for each device doubles the cost of the GM versus the CL (CL-$429 solo, ~$700 with accessories including replacement parts, GM-$675 solo, ~$1,400 with accessories and parts kits). Further, the CL can simply be hooked up to a bike on a stand, the GM requires a kit, for an additional ~$270 or so. I would have to buy a stand for a bike or an exercise bike of some sort, with the CL, which I haven't thought to price yet, so... I don't know how that $270 compares but I am pretty sure that is much pricier. Further, I am holding off to see how well I can use the grinder as is before deciding whether attaching a bike would even be wanted. I don't use all that much flour as is. You pay a hefty premium for that speed. Still, if I decide to go the GM way, I could buy the parts and accessories wanted over time. With the CL, though, I could buy everything I want, sum total, in one round, especially with the PS 4, if it is ever bought, put off for at least a year or three. I am strongly leaning toward the GM, but I need more information.
Both are made in the US, if that matters to you. It doesn't matter to me, so much, as longevity and quality of the end product. I do like that the GM is from a farmer, entrepreneur, but that is only a minor consideration. Not sure about CL, save that it is made in the US. Another thing to consider, for GM again, is that it is much simpler to take apart, both augers fit on the machine either in use or on a designated spot, and it is not dependent on small parts to fit together and work, so taking it apart and putting in a new auger isn't as much of a risk. Small parts can be killers. I know I would buy a handful of extras, the more inexpensive ones, for the CL if I do go that way.
To this end, I wrote an email to a woman who has owned and used for her personal family, and for years, both machines. She wrote an article some time back, which greatly influences my thought process. I simply had more questions. There are some technical questions that, while she might not know in a scientific manner she probably knows just from experience at this point. Which is good. Science seems to be a bought and sold disinformation industry these days anyway. A few questions about longevity of the grinder parts, how many functions can actually be expected from both devices, and just how available increased functions (such as not just grinding, but perhaps flaking) each device might be open to, and the parts that would have to be purchased associated with such upgrades. Dang it, I dig deep. As deeply as I can. I don't mind paying more, so long as I am not losing anything and the costs can be justified in a very material way... mostly. But, ouch! It's a lot of danged money.
I am also looking at replacing my reverse osmosis. As I suggested, the faucet that came with it broke. Well, what keeps it attached to the counter broke. There are two pieces, at least, that would need to be replaced. Each piece, being a Sears p.o.s., is pot metal, and small, and cost $50 each, last time I checked. I doubt if the price has gone done. Considering I might break things trying to fix things, the outrages costs already, and several other factors, I have looked around for another system. I believe I will be going with the Watts Premier 4-stage. From snap-change filters to the price, and reviews, it seems the way, for me, to go. It will cost nearly double the replacement parts. But if you looked at what it would take to create a repair, all thin cheap metals involved, you would realize a repair is a fools errand. A whole faucet would cost more than three new systems. Yeah, new system.
But in my research, I came across something I hadn't considered. Home water pressure might be why I am having problems, from time to time, with various faucets. I don't know, it's just a thought. So, while shopping, I added a water pressure valve so that, through my odd sleep patterns, I can check water pressure throughout the day and night and see if I need a water pressure regulator. Yeah, techy weird stuff, but... high water pressure can be a serious problem. A quality regulator would last a good long time, if not terribly cheap they certainly aren't prohibitively expensive either. Hmm... while I'm there, I might as well look for a mesh strainer with tight enough screening to work with the quinoa. I simply don't have micro mesh strainers at the moment and I would like to taste quinoa the right way.
Why a grain mill? First, I do plan to begin using it. I would like to end my reliance on store bought... whatever, as much as possible. I have a year's supply of grain, though I would probably begin buying smaller lots for short term use, until the stored grains begin to near timing out (for me, I think replacing those every ten years is the plan). I just don't know, or trust, manufactured foods anymore. I won't even swear they are being produced in the US, or will be in the near future. I don't trust store-bought food. Can't. This administration has made any inspection service we used to depend on... as much a possible lie as any other part of government. Plus, it would be required in a catastrophe in any case. And both of these would be strong enough to allow neighbors to use on top of my own use. There are preppers here, but I think they would be amazed at how much flour is needed when all food is made by hand and how little most mills put out. Having a ton of grain that can only be turned to flower a few cups per hour will be harsh. Call it a potential service industry. You need flour? I need salt, or sugar, or a bit of silver, or .22 bullets... In a short term worst case scenario, simply offer it for free to those who have grain, even sharing out grain. Trust me, it's coming. No, that isn't true. It's here. It just hasn't... like the zombie who doesn't realize it is dead and takes a half dozen more steps... It just hasn't sunk in yet. When it does? What just happened in the Philippines will seem small fry.
I simply pray, and often, for just a bit more time, for a few more things, real things. Why bother with the PS 3 and 4 then? Because I can't live only in that moment. I won't. I will have my nose shoved in it soon enough. We all will. I need... a distraction. Television is merely a reminder of all that is wrong, and points out the causes but as if those were good things. So, it doesn't work. Reading? Yeah, well, I can't. Quite often I simply cannot stay settled, or bring focus well enough, to distract myself that way. As if reading, mostly, is much different from television. Authors have been telling us about these times for centuries. The good ones offered warnings, the bad ones suggested hitting the gas on into oblivion. The bad ones seem to have been the ones who were obeyed. There is the bible, but I can only read that just so often. It's pretty rich reading and I still have limits. The bible I just bought will be brought to bear on several issues I ponder, but not so much for a serious rereading quite yet.
Hmm... Later.
Tuesday, November 12, 2013
Monday, November 11, 2013
Haiku Monday - Your Way (My Way)
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Karl is up at the corner(tm). Something about something having to do with doing it your life, good or ill, in life. I popped a few right off. Oh, and he offers music to enhance the notion. Yes, yes, go read and try your hand at it.
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Karl is up at the corner(tm). Something about something having to do with doing it your life, good or ill, in life. I popped a few right off. Oh, and he offers music to enhance the notion. Yes, yes, go read and try your hand at it.
I might be a bit radical. True.
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I would see political and social change. Back to a better time? No, simply to a more reasoned future. Government doesn't work that way, it never has. It is a necessary evil, but it only works so long as it can be kept in check. There are currently no bounds on this government. It has taken so many unprecedented powers to itself, that, essentially, it can't be stopped by political machinations... the very things that allowed the imbalance to begin with, in failing to uphold their constitutionally allotted powers regarding restricting other branches, and sisters, of itself. But politics is and always was about money, about flesh. It can only be hoped that laws hold accountability, are fair, and do not unduly hinder business, as to wealth and it's natural flow. Government isn't about morality, for the most part, save very loosely. So, politics, of the poor, rich, middle class, or politics in general, really isn't where my radical nature is derived.
Of all the revolts and movements for change in all the world, only one concerns me. All save that one instance were about choosing who got to choose who and how others could economically function, whether through allowing free-markets to work as the better of options or choosing who could and could not do business depending on bribery, graft, black-mail, and the rest as the worst of options. Still, all save one revolution was based on things of flesh, things that not only have but will die or be lost to death. If you can't take it with you when your mortal coil fails, that is what governments concern.
The only true Radical I have personally ever realized to be a true Radical did not concern Himself with these things. Nor did He come to develop peace on earth, or good will toward men. He came to separate father from son, mother from daughter, husband from wife. He came to tear down all the governments of the world. He came to teach men, through even torture and death, to deny the flesh. He even showed us how. It isn't about politics, you say? True, to a degree. It isn't about the politics of men, for sure. It isn't about wealth, you suggest? True, not of the sort that deals excesses. But surely you are allowed to eat, sleep in reasonable comfort and safety, and store enough for hard times.
While I have never heard it suggested that we should surrender all, save one man with lust for his possessions, I have heard that we were to go forth and find prosperity. That requires a system that is fair and open, politically, socially. Further, any gains are to be seen as less important than choosing God. To lose every possession is far less than losing one's soul, if for no other reason than that you will lose your possessions at death in any case. There is more to it, but that is a starting point for those who doubt or are on the fence. For those who believe in death, one way or another, there is nothing you can tell them. And, it is logical. Nor are we asked to jump onto the spikes and destroy ourselves, end our lives, for our sins or the sins of the world. If too, we should no more hold onto our lives, as with any possession, something we are bound to lose in time, in order for temporal ease or in going against God for the sake of our lives.
Christ was the only radical that has, or ever will, mean anything. And He does stand against most of what we have come to understand. So, when I go through my rages, I simply suggest... now that they are targeted, and even though even I fear them (oddly my lady friends never have feared me in those moments... nor my cats), I think they have a purpose. So when I play something like the following, understand... there is reason in there. It isn't empty. Whether you or I understands it fully matters little. I have to wonder just how angry Christ is? Perhaps, being God, not at all. Perhaps. But, even if so, there is no reason we don't have call to be angry in His place, for Him for our part. And we should be radicals, too. Just not like the one's who have given themselves that mantle without bleeding for it.
Mind you, it isn't for me to start the riot. That is for Another, in His time. I am merely to resist what He will be rioting against, even to physical impoverishment and death. And I am to be ready for when He returns. And so I am. However, that doesn't mean I will allow myself or mine to come under the lash of unrighteousness. I will pay the price, happily, if need be. Christ did not teach me peace. He taught me freedom, which is immortal. That can't, and won't, be taken from me even should I lose everything for it. Radical indeed.
.
I would see political and social change. Back to a better time? No, simply to a more reasoned future. Government doesn't work that way, it never has. It is a necessary evil, but it only works so long as it can be kept in check. There are currently no bounds on this government. It has taken so many unprecedented powers to itself, that, essentially, it can't be stopped by political machinations... the very things that allowed the imbalance to begin with, in failing to uphold their constitutionally allotted powers regarding restricting other branches, and sisters, of itself. But politics is and always was about money, about flesh. It can only be hoped that laws hold accountability, are fair, and do not unduly hinder business, as to wealth and it's natural flow. Government isn't about morality, for the most part, save very loosely. So, politics, of the poor, rich, middle class, or politics in general, really isn't where my radical nature is derived.
Of all the revolts and movements for change in all the world, only one concerns me. All save that one instance were about choosing who got to choose who and how others could economically function, whether through allowing free-markets to work as the better of options or choosing who could and could not do business depending on bribery, graft, black-mail, and the rest as the worst of options. Still, all save one revolution was based on things of flesh, things that not only have but will die or be lost to death. If you can't take it with you when your mortal coil fails, that is what governments concern.
The only true Radical I have personally ever realized to be a true Radical did not concern Himself with these things. Nor did He come to develop peace on earth, or good will toward men. He came to separate father from son, mother from daughter, husband from wife. He came to tear down all the governments of the world. He came to teach men, through even torture and death, to deny the flesh. He even showed us how. It isn't about politics, you say? True, to a degree. It isn't about the politics of men, for sure. It isn't about wealth, you suggest? True, not of the sort that deals excesses. But surely you are allowed to eat, sleep in reasonable comfort and safety, and store enough for hard times.
While I have never heard it suggested that we should surrender all, save one man with lust for his possessions, I have heard that we were to go forth and find prosperity. That requires a system that is fair and open, politically, socially. Further, any gains are to be seen as less important than choosing God. To lose every possession is far less than losing one's soul, if for no other reason than that you will lose your possessions at death in any case. There is more to it, but that is a starting point for those who doubt or are on the fence. For those who believe in death, one way or another, there is nothing you can tell them. And, it is logical. Nor are we asked to jump onto the spikes and destroy ourselves, end our lives, for our sins or the sins of the world. If too, we should no more hold onto our lives, as with any possession, something we are bound to lose in time, in order for temporal ease or in going against God for the sake of our lives.
Christ was the only radical that has, or ever will, mean anything. And He does stand against most of what we have come to understand. So, when I go through my rages, I simply suggest... now that they are targeted, and even though even I fear them (oddly my lady friends never have feared me in those moments... nor my cats), I think they have a purpose. So when I play something like the following, understand... there is reason in there. It isn't empty. Whether you or I understands it fully matters little. I have to wonder just how angry Christ is? Perhaps, being God, not at all. Perhaps. But, even if so, there is no reason we don't have call to be angry in His place, for Him for our part. And we should be radicals, too. Just not like the one's who have given themselves that mantle without bleeding for it.
Mind you, it isn't for me to start the riot. That is for Another, in His time. I am merely to resist what He will be rioting against, even to physical impoverishment and death. And I am to be ready for when He returns. And so I am. However, that doesn't mean I will allow myself or mine to come under the lash of unrighteousness. I will pay the price, happily, if need be. Christ did not teach me peace. He taught me freedom, which is immortal. That can't, and won't, be taken from me even should I lose everything for it. Radical indeed.
One good sleep can make it good again.
.
.
Conniptions, kinks and pain, finally back to the land of, if blah, normalcy. None of it put wind in my sails. But then, that was a long shot anyway. I did get the trash out, straightened just a bit, got a shower in. That's as good as it gets these days, and for some time. Good, good.
While I have become, more or less, much closer to politically agnostic, voting for principles if those are available, I still do not believe the divide can be crossed between liberals in society and those who hold faith with laws above those of men. I know far too many Republicans who know no better than Democrats to believe party affiliation, at this point, is any guarantee. One side is perpetually twisting, like a snake in the hand, whether they claim to be Christian or not. It seems to be about what they want, or what they want for or from others, but without any objective truths. They are dangerous to themselves and to others, both physically and spiritually, and directly and indirectly. If you are a snake handler, and have chosen to enter the lion's den with your eyes open, that is one thing. If you think you can blindly love your neighbor, forgiving all his faults though they go against everything you understand, going by senses minus God's wisdom, and even joining his way of life as your own, you are heading toward disaster. He is neither your neighbor, your friend, or even what he seems. There are only two masters here, as always. One of them is not "our will". Our will cannot be done. Nor can that of your neighbor's, the one who seemingly walks on his own. His strength is an illusion.
.
Conniptions, kinks and pain, finally back to the land of, if blah, normalcy. None of it put wind in my sails. But then, that was a long shot anyway. I did get the trash out, straightened just a bit, got a shower in. That's as good as it gets these days, and for some time. Good, good.
I even see where I could seemingly fit that profile. Having all but rejected this most recent pope, it seems I have gone my own way. Ah, but not so much. There are still the rites, there is still the underlying faith in God, there is still the Magisterium, there is still the bible, there is still an authority structure leading straight to God if some steps are bad God does not abandon me for their sins. I do not follow my passions purely, won't, can't. I do not go along to get along. I speak what I understand, without hesitation. I continue to study, to pray, to... kneel. I fail, true. I sin. I want. I desire. I also set these things aside to the best of my abilities, staying to the true path. Careful with that stone, friend. Child. If you throw from anger, not from perfection, you have failed God, not me.
I know, dressing like a bunny and joining their party might seem like a harmless venture. And some of their women are quite good looking. And smoking a little of this, or eating that, should be harmless, right? Some of their practices might even be seen as enriching. But if you aren't there to bring them to wisdom, you are there to join them. I would strongly warn against that. They are Godless for a reason. Which reason, or even how many reasons? Once one is not on the path, all paths do indeed become equal. I am sure I am on the one path, because at times it seems so very hard, so thin, so... perilous. Fear, want, hunger, and other things of flesh all try to lead me from it, dissuade me from it, shove me off it. If you think something feels good, but suspect it might not be wise or actually within God's allowances, then you have found one of the reasons. Passions run rampant, the allure of beauty or more your lust for it, these will send you straight to hell at the speed of a bullet. Hell isn't so far as you might think, either. Not far at all. If you choose to go that way, I'll pray for you but I will not join you. I've sinned enough for ten lifetimes, trust me that I know the... sweet taste of it. But it is not a taste for life, but of death. Yes, I will pray for you.
Look, the paths of sin are easy. They feel good, right until they don't but then most are quite trapped. If you have faith, you have been called. Don't expect a second calling, not so strong as before, not strong enough, once you reject. And the path back from hell is hell itself, which is why so many won't, can't seem to, take that path. I yet burn for and from going and returning. I cannot warn you strongly enough. Do not join the cause of death.
Choose the only life available. Jumping ship with a life preserver will not save you. As always, though, your choice? Does my warning make me a bastard? No. I always was one. I am just not my own bastard now. Choose wisely.
Sunday, November 10, 2013
Women on the mind.
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Reading at Vox's off blog, noticing he put it now on his main page, advice for a new groom. I commented on the first of the postings, suggested I believed he had become soft from the ceremonies. I do not believe he was offering... advice that is more than just saying, "Glad you are wed, now good luck and play nice". Fine, for what it is, but not solid advice. In my opinion. And I noted the mistake that bothered me the most, as I see things. Or at least what I believed to be the first mistake. Not sure I read too much after that, actually. I was disappointed.
Oh, I know. I must sound like a horrid man to be involved with. An ogre, a misogynist, a patriarch. Not that these things aren't true, mind you, to a certain set of people, or within certain parameters. If most who would label me as such I call fools, you may call them what you like. I do, and always have, ruled my roost. With a woman, without, matters not a bit. I am dominant in my spheres. That doesn't mean I am the hardest man women have ever known. Nor actually simply hard. Solid, I think, is what I heard most often. And... that was usually appreciated by the ladies I have known. Am I always right? Not always, but we had to start from who did what, and is what, before we could go on further. I don't have to be right to be dominant. I am dominant. Start from the start.
Once a woman understood this, then negotiations and corrections could be considered. Sometimes what they wanted, right as it was, wasn't possible. Often a woman wants perfections that aren't attainable within a budget. Or they want stuff we can't maintain, too complicated. There are many reasons why "right" isn't always right, or attainable. I have to lead them back to who has authority, then lead them back through to the problem. Sometimes that took several trips back and forth. I was, generally, gentle. It quite depended on her. At some point, I would, eventually, help her understand what would be lost in order to get her version of "right" installed, set up, functioning, or bought. That is when negotiations can begin. Once she has come to reason and left behind feelings, which is why I take authority as a general rule.
While my advice seems draconian, and it is, have no doubts that few of my women would ever actually call me that. Few times, save the last, did I ever even raise my voice. Usually, if I wanted her undivided attention, I nearly whispered. If the conversation wasn't going well, I would postpone it. Not now, I would suggest, and mean it. Never physical, save I would guess three spankings brought about by a woman thinking that punching an ogre was a good idea at the time. Out of as many lovers as I have known, three ain't bad, I'll tell you. I do have a way with women.
Yeah, I'm not nice. No doubt. I am a lord, and I would suggest that I am a masterful one. I do rule. Period. But I have been easy enough in my ministrations that women have had no trouble loving me, and many of them still do to this day. Some of them might be a little... angry. But from being left, not from being dominated. I have women I went to in high school who still have crushes on me, good ones. I have one who remembered me from the third grade. Doe eyes, she had, when meeting me again. Hard, harsh, masterful, but not as brutal as it might seem. Just... clearing some air.
And suggesting you don't turn the corner every time your wife says she is right, even if she is. Sometimes wrong is right, for many reasons. Don't go off that cliff, lad. Just... don't. You are the man, and if not right, you should know why. And, once in a while, teach. But don't be going begging forgiveness every time you are wrong, especially if you have really thought, and worked, it through, already, as a couple. You'll hang yourself, and your marriage, with doubt. It's like cooking a rat, going that way. Hot pan, don't crowd it, turn often, then expect little food sustenance, a lot of stink, and a short meal to boot. Don't go there.
.
Reading at Vox's off blog, noticing he put it now on his main page, advice for a new groom. I commented on the first of the postings, suggested I believed he had become soft from the ceremonies. I do not believe he was offering... advice that is more than just saying, "Glad you are wed, now good luck and play nice". Fine, for what it is, but not solid advice. In my opinion. And I noted the mistake that bothered me the most, as I see things. Or at least what I believed to be the first mistake. Not sure I read too much after that, actually. I was disappointed.
Oh, I know. I must sound like a horrid man to be involved with. An ogre, a misogynist, a patriarch. Not that these things aren't true, mind you, to a certain set of people, or within certain parameters. If most who would label me as such I call fools, you may call them what you like. I do, and always have, ruled my roost. With a woman, without, matters not a bit. I am dominant in my spheres. That doesn't mean I am the hardest man women have ever known. Nor actually simply hard. Solid, I think, is what I heard most often. And... that was usually appreciated by the ladies I have known. Am I always right? Not always, but we had to start from who did what, and is what, before we could go on further. I don't have to be right to be dominant. I am dominant. Start from the start.
Once a woman understood this, then negotiations and corrections could be considered. Sometimes what they wanted, right as it was, wasn't possible. Often a woman wants perfections that aren't attainable within a budget. Or they want stuff we can't maintain, too complicated. There are many reasons why "right" isn't always right, or attainable. I have to lead them back to who has authority, then lead them back through to the problem. Sometimes that took several trips back and forth. I was, generally, gentle. It quite depended on her. At some point, I would, eventually, help her understand what would be lost in order to get her version of "right" installed, set up, functioning, or bought. That is when negotiations can begin. Once she has come to reason and left behind feelings, which is why I take authority as a general rule.
While my advice seems draconian, and it is, have no doubts that few of my women would ever actually call me that. Few times, save the last, did I ever even raise my voice. Usually, if I wanted her undivided attention, I nearly whispered. If the conversation wasn't going well, I would postpone it. Not now, I would suggest, and mean it. Never physical, save I would guess three spankings brought about by a woman thinking that punching an ogre was a good idea at the time. Out of as many lovers as I have known, three ain't bad, I'll tell you. I do have a way with women.
Yeah, I'm not nice. No doubt. I am a lord, and I would suggest that I am a masterful one. I do rule. Period. But I have been easy enough in my ministrations that women have had no trouble loving me, and many of them still do to this day. Some of them might be a little... angry. But from being left, not from being dominated. I have women I went to in high school who still have crushes on me, good ones. I have one who remembered me from the third grade. Doe eyes, she had, when meeting me again. Hard, harsh, masterful, but not as brutal as it might seem. Just... clearing some air.
And suggesting you don't turn the corner every time your wife says she is right, even if she is. Sometimes wrong is right, for many reasons. Don't go off that cliff, lad. Just... don't. You are the man, and if not right, you should know why. And, once in a while, teach. But don't be going begging forgiveness every time you are wrong, especially if you have really thought, and worked, it through, already, as a couple. You'll hang yourself, and your marriage, with doubt. It's like cooking a rat, going that way. Hot pan, don't crowd it, turn often, then expect little food sustenance, a lot of stink, and a short meal to boot. Don't go there.
Okay, now THAT hurts.
.
.
I don't know what the problem was with sleep. Have you ever slept wrong and awoken with two very sort arms? Oh, no, one was not enough. On top of that, my lungs feel as messed up as my arms, somehow. It is as if they were folded twice, top to bottom, then folded in half, and then sat on by a fatboy. It doesn't hurt to breath, oddly. They themselves are sore in some odd way, and the chest cavity in which they fit hurts like the arms. It isn't even as if I slept wrong and couldn't wake. I kept rolling, shifting my pillows, rolling, adjusting my angles. I simply could not get comfortable but I also couldn't wake and just get up for a while. I did the best I could with what consciousness and understanding I could bring to bear on the problem. I lost, hard. Nothing from my diaphragm to the last knuckle before my neck, and from right elbow to left elbow feels good. If you have ever been hit by a baseball bat, hard, a couple of times, you know the feeling. It's all over. It's a rarity, thankfully. It can happen in good or poor health, and doesn't seem associated with anything other than rolling the dice that is life. Ouch!
On a pain scale of one to ten, you ask? How about... exquisite? I honestly did not remember that so much could hurt in such a small area, and so many small areas could hurt at the same time, each with it's own unique form of hurt. If they could hook us up to machines that would read the pain as electrical impulses, I know I could win regionals, perhaps nationals, might even be heading to the Olympics of suffering.
Not much else to say today. I'll try and shake this off, figure out some things, get the trash out, and start on dishes. That is my goal. Thankfully, with this sort of pain, doing or not doing something, anything, simply doesn't affect the pain. I will hurt just as much just sitting here as I will getting to things. Actually the pain might encourage activity, just to get my mind on something else. So... it might end up being unhappily preferred, somehow. Hey, take it where you can get it? I hate just sitting. I just haven't had a way around it lately.
Oh, well. I hope you are having a better day. Misery might love company, but I refuse to be miserable. I can't do much when it comes calling, but I don't choose it so I don't wish it around. Later.
.
I don't know what the problem was with sleep. Have you ever slept wrong and awoken with two very sort arms? Oh, no, one was not enough. On top of that, my lungs feel as messed up as my arms, somehow. It is as if they were folded twice, top to bottom, then folded in half, and then sat on by a fatboy. It doesn't hurt to breath, oddly. They themselves are sore in some odd way, and the chest cavity in which they fit hurts like the arms. It isn't even as if I slept wrong and couldn't wake. I kept rolling, shifting my pillows, rolling, adjusting my angles. I simply could not get comfortable but I also couldn't wake and just get up for a while. I did the best I could with what consciousness and understanding I could bring to bear on the problem. I lost, hard. Nothing from my diaphragm to the last knuckle before my neck, and from right elbow to left elbow feels good. If you have ever been hit by a baseball bat, hard, a couple of times, you know the feeling. It's all over. It's a rarity, thankfully. It can happen in good or poor health, and doesn't seem associated with anything other than rolling the dice that is life. Ouch!
On a pain scale of one to ten, you ask? How about... exquisite? I honestly did not remember that so much could hurt in such a small area, and so many small areas could hurt at the same time, each with it's own unique form of hurt. If they could hook us up to machines that would read the pain as electrical impulses, I know I could win regionals, perhaps nationals, might even be heading to the Olympics of suffering.
Not much else to say today. I'll try and shake this off, figure out some things, get the trash out, and start on dishes. That is my goal. Thankfully, with this sort of pain, doing or not doing something, anything, simply doesn't affect the pain. I will hurt just as much just sitting here as I will getting to things. Actually the pain might encourage activity, just to get my mind on something else. So... it might end up being unhappily preferred, somehow. Hey, take it where you can get it? I hate just sitting. I just haven't had a way around it lately.
Oh, well. I hope you are having a better day. Misery might love company, but I refuse to be miserable. I can't do much when it comes calling, but I don't choose it so I don't wish it around. Later.
Saturday, November 9, 2013
Quinoa...
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I'm not quite ready for cooking it, especially since learning some things. The first thing I learned was that the man, who I thought had mispronounced it, was actually right. Quinoa is pronounced KEEN-wah. And I wasn't sure if it was a grain or seed, so... As it turns out, it is a seed. I did find out why, when I made it, it didn't turn out well. If purchased in it's raw form, it needs to be rinsed very well, scrubbed a bit really as I see the description. Otherwise a coating on the seed gives a soapy or bitter taste. Further, it looks like they advice toasting it before then boiling it. I am usually careful with finding good instructions when trying a new food. The one thing may have been that some boxed quinoa has been pretreated, so instructions differ. If I bought raw, but had cooking instructions for prepped seed, that would explain the problem.
Now, the seed is a full protein, by itself. There are a lot of good qualities about quinoa. However, after returning from the store, I looked at the prices. This stuff costs almost as much as hamburger. Granted, it has a better shelf life. But at about $4 a pound, it isn't affordable to stock in much quantity. Then again, all grains and such are going up. All food is going up. I simply cannot believe how expensive food has gotten. You don't see reports about it, at least I don't. My guess is the government is pushing the price increases because of the "fat epidemic", and the media is simply playing lap-dog and not noticing a huge story.
I would like to say some foods, like the evil beef, or other "fatty" foods are what is increasing. But this story just proves that not to be the facts. Wheat, quinoa, produce, even potatoes, are much more expensive. I actually think we are being lied to about just how much food has increased in price. Like I said, I make a solid middle class yearly income. While I am buying my home, and a vehicle, so are many middle class families. I am single, so have a much greater access to my income. And I cannot afford ribeyes. At $14 or $15 a pound they simply are outside of my affordability scale. Essentially I won't buy something if I can't maintain it even somewhat regularly. I literally can't afford a couple of those a month.
This government is doing a lot more than people think. They are placing activists in departments, which doubles and sometimes triples the effects of outright government interferences. Fuel is more expensive, employees are more expensive, packaging and delivery are more expensive, and following the new regulations is expensive. Basically this government is shutting America down. Closing shops. Raising prices. Curtailing employment and entrepreneurial opportunities. And enough people are happy with that, or getting something out of it, that it doesn't look like that will be changing soon. Well, until it fails. Not the way you want to see change happen but sometimes there isn't a way to do much about it. We are becoming Russia. New or old Russia, not much difference to be honest. It is who you know and who you will kill for that decides if you are allowed some small access. A Godless communism or a Godless crony capitalism, all the same.
Just grumping a bit. Oh, I did only drink a fifth, actually less. It did help settle me down though. Sometimes you have to do what you have to do. Later, or more likely good night.
.
I'm not quite ready for cooking it, especially since learning some things. The first thing I learned was that the man, who I thought had mispronounced it, was actually right. Quinoa is pronounced KEEN-wah. And I wasn't sure if it was a grain or seed, so... As it turns out, it is a seed. I did find out why, when I made it, it didn't turn out well. If purchased in it's raw form, it needs to be rinsed very well, scrubbed a bit really as I see the description. Otherwise a coating on the seed gives a soapy or bitter taste. Further, it looks like they advice toasting it before then boiling it. I am usually careful with finding good instructions when trying a new food. The one thing may have been that some boxed quinoa has been pretreated, so instructions differ. If I bought raw, but had cooking instructions for prepped seed, that would explain the problem.
Now, the seed is a full protein, by itself. There are a lot of good qualities about quinoa. However, after returning from the store, I looked at the prices. This stuff costs almost as much as hamburger. Granted, it has a better shelf life. But at about $4 a pound, it isn't affordable to stock in much quantity. Then again, all grains and such are going up. All food is going up. I simply cannot believe how expensive food has gotten. You don't see reports about it, at least I don't. My guess is the government is pushing the price increases because of the "fat epidemic", and the media is simply playing lap-dog and not noticing a huge story.
I would like to say some foods, like the evil beef, or other "fatty" foods are what is increasing. But this story just proves that not to be the facts. Wheat, quinoa, produce, even potatoes, are much more expensive. I actually think we are being lied to about just how much food has increased in price. Like I said, I make a solid middle class yearly income. While I am buying my home, and a vehicle, so are many middle class families. I am single, so have a much greater access to my income. And I cannot afford ribeyes. At $14 or $15 a pound they simply are outside of my affordability scale. Essentially I won't buy something if I can't maintain it even somewhat regularly. I literally can't afford a couple of those a month.
This government is doing a lot more than people think. They are placing activists in departments, which doubles and sometimes triples the effects of outright government interferences. Fuel is more expensive, employees are more expensive, packaging and delivery are more expensive, and following the new regulations is expensive. Basically this government is shutting America down. Closing shops. Raising prices. Curtailing employment and entrepreneurial opportunities. And enough people are happy with that, or getting something out of it, that it doesn't look like that will be changing soon. Well, until it fails. Not the way you want to see change happen but sometimes there isn't a way to do much about it. We are becoming Russia. New or old Russia, not much difference to be honest. It is who you know and who you will kill for that decides if you are allowed some small access. A Godless communism or a Godless crony capitalism, all the same.
Just grumping a bit. Oh, I did only drink a fifth, actually less. It did help settle me down though. Sometimes you have to do what you have to do. Later, or more likely good night.
I have to remember.
.
.
There is no real reason to write about politics. Some are beating on the ACA. Some are pulling for this politician or that. It really isn't working out. The direction, from both parties, is wrong. It does remind me of speaking with people addicted to gambling. Even when they functionally know that they can't come out ahead, they can't stop from pulling the handle, rolling the dice, playing the cards. They know, and still can't stop. That is what politics has become.
Frustrated? Only in a general sense, mostly. I don't have as much in that game as most. Neither am I rich, poor, or really middle class. I am not an owner, a boss, or a low level worker. I'm not married with or without children. My prospects are for a several more decades of sucking in air, barely, then a shallow grave. I'm just an anomaly, one that has lived well past my due date somehow. My frustration is watching a once great nation sell everything for promises and being strip-mined on all sides, from the devaluation of the dollar at an economy-breaking pace, to being taxed out of their earnings on top of it, to being forced onto medical plans that can't work. Voting for the same things over and over. They keep voting for their guy, because their guy isn't like the other guys. Democrats, and those who vote for them, I have to assume are simply insane. They can seem sane, until you discuss whatever chips are on their shoulders. Equality that can't exist because of the facts of life, the fact that sex causes pregnancy so just erase a life to make it appear that no sex occurred, allowing drug use because they can't handle reality, pick your poison, there are many other chips. Republicans have always and only been about money, making it, creating a climate for it, as with guns allowing the use of even personal force to defend it, and such. Fair enough. And, really, that is all a government should be about, within reason. Unfortunately, right now, what making money is about is taking money from taxpayers. It's the only game in town for them, business have backed off until they have some surety that growth and prosperity won't be ransacked by an insane government. So Republicans have basically joined that insane government circus.
The thing is, I know where all this leads. My health is poor. There is a reasonable chance that I will be dead before I am murdered by the state, if it goes that far, or more in what way that manifests. Medical genocide is quite common in nations with socialized medicine. But it can happen so quickly. I see people grumbling, especially those who lost. One voter for Obama, and supporter for ACA, getting cancer treatment, lost his insurance. His premium, alone, would go to $1,5k from $180 a month ($18,000 a year), with a $13.5k deductible. Disappointed? No. He is simply out. He will pay the fine when it comes due, but let nature takes it's course. That's a hard choice. My guess is pain will force him back in, it's not as easy to do as it is to say, but who knows. My question is, will he continue to vote Democrat? Probably. No grudges, right? Besides, his guy has sympathy for him.
Yeah, enjoy politics. Pull the lever for your guy. Get what you can from yourself, after much of it has been thinned by all the real players, and enjoy. I can't help people who won't help themselves. I can't even sympathize. I can only turn my back and try to defend myself if that isn't enough. I can't even do that against the juggernaut of a government these folks have created in order to try to carve meat from the tables of the rich. A folly, even if it was allowed to work, but... You just can't tell some people. Killing the hen that lays the golden egg does not yield a bunch of golden eggs, just one less layer.
Ugh... daylight savings... It's 16:30 and it looks and feels more like 20:00. I need to get back to waking early, to enjoy some light of the day. At least it is cool enough that the idea isn't a joke! Later.
.
There is no real reason to write about politics. Some are beating on the ACA. Some are pulling for this politician or that. It really isn't working out. The direction, from both parties, is wrong. It does remind me of speaking with people addicted to gambling. Even when they functionally know that they can't come out ahead, they can't stop from pulling the handle, rolling the dice, playing the cards. They know, and still can't stop. That is what politics has become.
Frustrated? Only in a general sense, mostly. I don't have as much in that game as most. Neither am I rich, poor, or really middle class. I am not an owner, a boss, or a low level worker. I'm not married with or without children. My prospects are for a several more decades of sucking in air, barely, then a shallow grave. I'm just an anomaly, one that has lived well past my due date somehow. My frustration is watching a once great nation sell everything for promises and being strip-mined on all sides, from the devaluation of the dollar at an economy-breaking pace, to being taxed out of their earnings on top of it, to being forced onto medical plans that can't work. Voting for the same things over and over. They keep voting for their guy, because their guy isn't like the other guys. Democrats, and those who vote for them, I have to assume are simply insane. They can seem sane, until you discuss whatever chips are on their shoulders. Equality that can't exist because of the facts of life, the fact that sex causes pregnancy so just erase a life to make it appear that no sex occurred, allowing drug use because they can't handle reality, pick your poison, there are many other chips. Republicans have always and only been about money, making it, creating a climate for it, as with guns allowing the use of even personal force to defend it, and such. Fair enough. And, really, that is all a government should be about, within reason. Unfortunately, right now, what making money is about is taking money from taxpayers. It's the only game in town for them, business have backed off until they have some surety that growth and prosperity won't be ransacked by an insane government. So Republicans have basically joined that insane government circus.
The thing is, I know where all this leads. My health is poor. There is a reasonable chance that I will be dead before I am murdered by the state, if it goes that far, or more in what way that manifests. Medical genocide is quite common in nations with socialized medicine. But it can happen so quickly. I see people grumbling, especially those who lost. One voter for Obama, and supporter for ACA, getting cancer treatment, lost his insurance. His premium, alone, would go to $1,5k from $180 a month ($18,000 a year), with a $13.5k deductible. Disappointed? No. He is simply out. He will pay the fine when it comes due, but let nature takes it's course. That's a hard choice. My guess is pain will force him back in, it's not as easy to do as it is to say, but who knows. My question is, will he continue to vote Democrat? Probably. No grudges, right? Besides, his guy has sympathy for him.
Yeah, enjoy politics. Pull the lever for your guy. Get what you can from yourself, after much of it has been thinned by all the real players, and enjoy. I can't help people who won't help themselves. I can't even sympathize. I can only turn my back and try to defend myself if that isn't enough. I can't even do that against the juggernaut of a government these folks have created in order to try to carve meat from the tables of the rich. A folly, even if it was allowed to work, but... You just can't tell some people. Killing the hen that lays the golden egg does not yield a bunch of golden eggs, just one less layer.
Ugh... daylight savings... It's 16:30 and it looks and feels more like 20:00. I need to get back to waking early, to enjoy some light of the day. At least it is cool enough that the idea isn't a joke! Later.
Right as rain, mostly.
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I do have a slight headache this morning. Nothing undue, mind you. Despite my posts being, at least save for the last and maybe even that, from before I started... applying the liquid breaks, I have decided that those are nobody's business. What have women thought, in the past, when I went through that? Not much. It can be a bit of an opportunity for them to ask a boon. If nothing else, they can enjoy the time, with or without liquid refreshments. Women, as a general rule, are not against festive moments, so long as they don't add burden to their day (without a return they are satisfied with, anyway). In such moods, have I the coin, we are most likely going out for dinner, maybe dancing, or whatever will share out the mood for her. Oh, and more generally, with a woman around to wear out, and then drag me down with her exhaustion, the need for liquid breaks isn't quite as profound. A woman can weigh a ton in the arms, if she decides to become an anchor! :p Some of my women have been teetotalers, mind you, and I have generally respected that, having my sips privately and rarely as I do now.
I have no idea when I went to bed. I don't think it was as late as it seems. I'm still not used to the dratted daylight savings change. After 16:00 to 18:00 it seems late the rest of the night somehow! It never stops feeling late until the sun is up. I actually woke earlier today, without an alarm going off to give me a hint, than I did yesterday. Not by much, say maybe an hour and a half or quarter. Why would my day shift... four hours and more? I've not had that kind of a thing happen, that I remember, before. Usually I lose an hour or two ever three days to a week, haggling, and able to haggle, as I slowly lose ground. Four hours? Oh well.
Today? Urhm, not much. Sometimes a night of drink can see me to a fresh start. I am not seeing that today, or at least yet. I will be looking for the opportunity though. Dang but I have some things I really want to get done. I am eyeing dishes and laundry. I still haven't unpacked the camping gear, or all of it. I still have plumbing I would like to get to. I have a garage to rearrange and turn into a minor work shop, with my vice and bench grinder both ready to be installed. I have much I want to do. I had hoped having the supplies on hand would hurry me, but... no. I'm just not well enough to tinker yet. But I am keeping those things in mind and praying for the chance to get to it.
Later.
.
I do have a slight headache this morning. Nothing undue, mind you. Despite my posts being, at least save for the last and maybe even that, from before I started... applying the liquid breaks, I have decided that those are nobody's business. What have women thought, in the past, when I went through that? Not much. It can be a bit of an opportunity for them to ask a boon. If nothing else, they can enjoy the time, with or without liquid refreshments. Women, as a general rule, are not against festive moments, so long as they don't add burden to their day (without a return they are satisfied with, anyway). In such moods, have I the coin, we are most likely going out for dinner, maybe dancing, or whatever will share out the mood for her. Oh, and more generally, with a woman around to wear out, and then drag me down with her exhaustion, the need for liquid breaks isn't quite as profound. A woman can weigh a ton in the arms, if she decides to become an anchor! :p Some of my women have been teetotalers, mind you, and I have generally respected that, having my sips privately and rarely as I do now.
I have no idea when I went to bed. I don't think it was as late as it seems. I'm still not used to the dratted daylight savings change. After 16:00 to 18:00 it seems late the rest of the night somehow! It never stops feeling late until the sun is up. I actually woke earlier today, without an alarm going off to give me a hint, than I did yesterday. Not by much, say maybe an hour and a half or quarter. Why would my day shift... four hours and more? I've not had that kind of a thing happen, that I remember, before. Usually I lose an hour or two ever three days to a week, haggling, and able to haggle, as I slowly lose ground. Four hours? Oh well.
Today? Urhm, not much. Sometimes a night of drink can see me to a fresh start. I am not seeing that today, or at least yet. I will be looking for the opportunity though. Dang but I have some things I really want to get done. I am eyeing dishes and laundry. I still haven't unpacked the camping gear, or all of it. I still have plumbing I would like to get to. I have a garage to rearrange and turn into a minor work shop, with my vice and bench grinder both ready to be installed. I have much I want to do. I had hoped having the supplies on hand would hurry me, but... no. I'm just not well enough to tinker yet. But I am keeping those things in mind and praying for the chance to get to it.
Later.
Friday, November 8, 2013
WOW!
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Can't tell you what it is. I just know I am still going like gangbusters. Perhaps from having such a long stretch of being down my body, when it saw the opportunity, hit the gas. Wow. I can't do much with it but I hope no one decides to test things right now. Something is alive and moving through me like the wind, storm, tempest. Hard to focus. Can't seem to use it. It's just a sense of being alive, animal... power. Bottling this stuff would be illegal. I've always wondered if a transfusion would jack, or kill, someone else. Don't know what, exactly this is. WOW! Hard to believe my bad heart can handle this. Truth be told... I don't think even that is what it seems... Never mind younglings.
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Can't tell you what it is. I just know I am still going like gangbusters. Perhaps from having such a long stretch of being down my body, when it saw the opportunity, hit the gas. Wow. I can't do much with it but I hope no one decides to test things right now. Something is alive and moving through me like the wind, storm, tempest. Hard to focus. Can't seem to use it. It's just a sense of being alive, animal... power. Bottling this stuff would be illegal. I've always wondered if a transfusion would jack, or kill, someone else. Don't know what, exactly this is. WOW! Hard to believe my bad heart can handle this. Truth be told... I don't think even that is what it seems... Never mind younglings.
Thursday, November 7, 2013
Some things don't pair well.
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Chicken and cabbage just don't, in my opinion, go well together. The onion helped. Oh, no complaints. I had warm, or warmable, food for a number of days, got veggies in, and... yeah. Just, on a preference scale, even though everything was properly cooked and good individually, this would rate in the 2 to 4 on a 1 to 10 scale. I do love cabbage, it just needs something stronger backing it. Beef, pork maybe, even duck or goose maybe (those last I usually stuff with sauerkraut anyway, thinking about just cabbage next time). Chicken just doesn't support it, or sweeten it, or... something. It was worth a shot though.
Bills set to be paid, a bit of food eaten, but really? I'm in a rut. Still working on medications, that's going okay. I'll be refilling the medicine set tomorrow. One more week of the blahs at current levels, then a slight increase. I have no idea what to expect, I just hope it isn't as bad as first going on it. Damn but that was harsh. And, unless I literally can't, when I fill my medset next time, it will be full dose all the way around. Yeah, well, what else do I have going right now? Besides, I was in a deeper funk before starting medicines, one I could not for the life of me get out of. There is only one way from the bottom. Well, okay, there is flat-lining, but that doesn't count and isn't a target anyway.
My home is a sty, dishes and laundry are begging for attention, and I can barely move from one chair to the next. I'll... keep looking for those opportunities, big or small. That is all life gives sometimes, take it and do what you will with it. I will, if they pop. No worries. It's coming along about as swimmingly as possible, as memory serves.
Good night!
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Chicken and cabbage just don't, in my opinion, go well together. The onion helped. Oh, no complaints. I had warm, or warmable, food for a number of days, got veggies in, and... yeah. Just, on a preference scale, even though everything was properly cooked and good individually, this would rate in the 2 to 4 on a 1 to 10 scale. I do love cabbage, it just needs something stronger backing it. Beef, pork maybe, even duck or goose maybe (those last I usually stuff with sauerkraut anyway, thinking about just cabbage next time). Chicken just doesn't support it, or sweeten it, or... something. It was worth a shot though.
Bills set to be paid, a bit of food eaten, but really? I'm in a rut. Still working on medications, that's going okay. I'll be refilling the medicine set tomorrow. One more week of the blahs at current levels, then a slight increase. I have no idea what to expect, I just hope it isn't as bad as first going on it. Damn but that was harsh. And, unless I literally can't, when I fill my medset next time, it will be full dose all the way around. Yeah, well, what else do I have going right now? Besides, I was in a deeper funk before starting medicines, one I could not for the life of me get out of. There is only one way from the bottom. Well, okay, there is flat-lining, but that doesn't count and isn't a target anyway.
My home is a sty, dishes and laundry are begging for attention, and I can barely move from one chair to the next. I'll... keep looking for those opportunities, big or small. That is all life gives sometimes, take it and do what you will with it. I will, if they pop. No worries. It's coming along about as swimmingly as possible, as memory serves.
Good night!
Bills, debit cards, changes. GAH!
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Okay, I have roughly aware that something was wrong for a while. Bills, or something. Not being paid. Not much I could do about it but pout and grimace. Yes, I like my bills paid, and on time, and I have the money. Both of my debit cards recently became defunct and were replaced. I used to have all my bills on them, but I have slowly migrated automatic payments away from debit cards, which fail when they get past a certain age, over to direct online banking direct payments. That is always a little spooky, itself, and there is no guarantees with it, either. I don't think it is the bank, but companies, it seems, can end reception of payments. Verizon has a really nasty habit of doing that, for example. Then I end up with a huge bill. Still, if they are all in one place it is easier to... figure things out.
My health has not been up to specs for dealing with home, tasks, or bills. Life does get a little fuzzy. Oh, I'm doing fine, inside my shell inside my prison. And I can and do write. Obviously I think well enough. It is just in the world of action. I have nothing here, save the girls, to compel much out of me. Yes, that might make a difference, at least more often.
Finally, though, I got to it. I found the bills that were in doubt, checked here and there to make sure data was correct, and put these remaining bills into the auto-pay banking queue. I will need to change the dates on automatic payments, as they are coming later in the month this time. I prefer all payments out by the 1st, give or take. I checked the other bill that worried me, my house payment. That is being paid as it should, and when it should. Ugh, but that should help me sleep better. They, the companies I owe, have been auto-calling like mad. That's sort of what caused me to look around. The problem is, they don't talk when I speak. It's dead air. I can expect many more nuisance calls until the bills go through on Monday. I know what they are doing is illegal. I also know that a law is only as good as it is supported. This law is not supported at all. Five to ten calls per day, for those two cards. Monday I can turn the sound on my phone back on.
Still, I've done what I could. Everyone should be happy soon. All because debit cards die, to me, so quickly. Well, and I can be such a gimp sometimes. I roasted chicken hindquarters last night, with onions and cabbage. A bite of that today sounds good. Later.
.
Okay, I have roughly aware that something was wrong for a while. Bills, or something. Not being paid. Not much I could do about it but pout and grimace. Yes, I like my bills paid, and on time, and I have the money. Both of my debit cards recently became defunct and were replaced. I used to have all my bills on them, but I have slowly migrated automatic payments away from debit cards, which fail when they get past a certain age, over to direct online banking direct payments. That is always a little spooky, itself, and there is no guarantees with it, either. I don't think it is the bank, but companies, it seems, can end reception of payments. Verizon has a really nasty habit of doing that, for example. Then I end up with a huge bill. Still, if they are all in one place it is easier to... figure things out.
My health has not been up to specs for dealing with home, tasks, or bills. Life does get a little fuzzy. Oh, I'm doing fine, inside my shell inside my prison. And I can and do write. Obviously I think well enough. It is just in the world of action. I have nothing here, save the girls, to compel much out of me. Yes, that might make a difference, at least more often.
Finally, though, I got to it. I found the bills that were in doubt, checked here and there to make sure data was correct, and put these remaining bills into the auto-pay banking queue. I will need to change the dates on automatic payments, as they are coming later in the month this time. I prefer all payments out by the 1st, give or take. I checked the other bill that worried me, my house payment. That is being paid as it should, and when it should. Ugh, but that should help me sleep better. They, the companies I owe, have been auto-calling like mad. That's sort of what caused me to look around. The problem is, they don't talk when I speak. It's dead air. I can expect many more nuisance calls until the bills go through on Monday. I know what they are doing is illegal. I also know that a law is only as good as it is supported. This law is not supported at all. Five to ten calls per day, for those two cards. Monday I can turn the sound on my phone back on.
Still, I've done what I could. Everyone should be happy soon. All because debit cards die, to me, so quickly. Well, and I can be such a gimp sometimes. I roasted chicken hindquarters last night, with onions and cabbage. A bite of that today sounds good. Later.
Crazy cats.
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To sleep late again, but up, again, before the 10:00 alarm. A little later of a rise this morning, perhaps 8:30 or so. I just can't... catch the time while rising. I am pushing it, sleep wise, in my current condition... yet not purposefully? Yeah, I don't get it either. The only dream I remember? I dreamed a haiku. Actually I dreamed of playing five finger fillet and turned the activity into a haiku right there in the dream, bloodied finger and all. No, it wasn't a bad dream. Young men are foolish, but it is as enchanting as the sweetness of young women just on the male side of the equation... at least to me. It was... a fond memory, at least now.
Have you ever had your cat freak about something you can't see? Raise their cackles and stare at nothing, over behind a wall, in a corner, closet, or just off into space? As I have said, my girls don't do that. When they get freaky it is directly at me. While they don't hiss, or get threatening, they do freak. I still don't know why. After having Sassy, the youngest, do that recently, and then reading and watching a video at a lady blogger's blog, I realized something else, put some things together, something crystallized in my mind's eye.
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To sleep late again, but up, again, before the 10:00 alarm. A little later of a rise this morning, perhaps 8:30 or so. I just can't... catch the time while rising. I am pushing it, sleep wise, in my current condition... yet not purposefully? Yeah, I don't get it either. The only dream I remember? I dreamed a haiku. Actually I dreamed of playing five finger fillet and turned the activity into a haiku right there in the dream, bloodied finger and all. No, it wasn't a bad dream. Young men are foolish, but it is as enchanting as the sweetness of young women just on the male side of the equation... at least to me. It was... a fond memory, at least now.
Have you ever had your cat freak about something you can't see? Raise their cackles and stare at nothing, over behind a wall, in a corner, closet, or just off into space? As I have said, my girls don't do that. When they get freaky it is directly at me. While they don't hiss, or get threatening, they do freak. I still don't know why. After having Sassy, the youngest, do that recently, and then reading and watching a video at a lady blogger's blog, I realized something else, put some things together, something crystallized in my mind's eye.
Wednesday, November 6, 2013
Again, not down until midnight.
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Again, as well, I set the alarm for 10:00 but rose somewhere between 7:30 and 8:15, I am almost sure. I looked at the clock, watch, and cellphone, but the time didn't, couldn't, stick in memory. Oh, and I reset all the clocks in the cave yesterday! Even in the Xt'er on the way to dinner, the clock was reset. Yum! Life might make a bit more sense. One of my clocks, the main one in the living room, was hours off! The battery was dying. I set the day in it too, but that might be off already. Some clocks shouldn't even have a day number function, they pretty much have to be reset every month.
I know I dreamed. Unrequited but sweet love. It's a form of pure love that can have elements of physical attraction, just no actual contact. It can be just as dirty as regular relationships, or just as pure. I won't say it can be purer, because I believe a good relationship between a man and wife can be quite pure even with consummation. Actually, that is the hope, if it might take... a little time to master? If I have hit bottom with love, I have hit crescendos that have shown me what is possible, too. Many things of men are multifaceted. There is right and wrong, and there is in God's grace and out of it. Each is sort of on it's own though good builds on holy to make finer yet. As a perfect diamond, but set in gold finery. One is purely of flesh or animal (or as close to animals as men can be), one is of flesh with the wizened spirit of holiness. No, these dreams were just... about the right love of mind, flesh, and spirit, and without wedlock so without the physical aspects. Always a touch bittersweet but this time more sweet than bitter. Perspective, I think, is the palette upon which we render our understandings and in this case the color choices for painting were picture perfect for romanticized renaissance innocence.
There were other dreams. Just stuff of life. No great or even little fuss, just a review of life as if reading the diary of someone just living their life. Dreams are such odd things. Vexing, soothing, interesting, dull, or just odd, mixing those elements and others into a mental smoothy that sometimes mean something, sometimes not. Our own personal little mysteries of life. I don't think God dreams, but could you imagine His dreams if He did? Well... actually... I think we can. In some ways, I think we are the result of what passes for His dreams, even to, at times, His nightmares... in the crucifixion among other ills of man. Like me, though, He has the ability to make bad things right, in His "dreams", only better than I ever could. And, I don't think, for Him, it is a mystery, more a grand artistic masterpiece. One designed before it began and running exactly on His schedule. Hard to imagine for people who can't even create a web page for a king's ransom that runs. Though, that might be part of their schtick to force something else. The Godless fail and seem to mean to do so, as it isn't a part time job for them, they aim at failure then hit the gas. It's they only thing they know.
Today? I don't know. I'm not quite yet awake. I put a load in the washing machine last night, and I am considering dishes today. I'm simply not staying focused. When it was suggested that my writing might be stream of consciousness in style, and I suggested that was from how I think, imagine if that is how I live. Now... stop imagining. I simply don't have the ability to alter the stream much. Sometimes, rarely, I can act on some thoughts if they come to me. No more, no less, and only a possibility. Sleep walking while awake. Oh, but I try younglings, I do try. And pray.
Later.
.
Again, as well, I set the alarm for 10:00 but rose somewhere between 7:30 and 8:15, I am almost sure. I looked at the clock, watch, and cellphone, but the time didn't, couldn't, stick in memory. Oh, and I reset all the clocks in the cave yesterday! Even in the Xt'er on the way to dinner, the clock was reset. Yum! Life might make a bit more sense. One of my clocks, the main one in the living room, was hours off! The battery was dying. I set the day in it too, but that might be off already. Some clocks shouldn't even have a day number function, they pretty much have to be reset every month.
I know I dreamed. Unrequited but sweet love. It's a form of pure love that can have elements of physical attraction, just no actual contact. It can be just as dirty as regular relationships, or just as pure. I won't say it can be purer, because I believe a good relationship between a man and wife can be quite pure even with consummation. Actually, that is the hope, if it might take... a little time to master? If I have hit bottom with love, I have hit crescendos that have shown me what is possible, too. Many things of men are multifaceted. There is right and wrong, and there is in God's grace and out of it. Each is sort of on it's own though good builds on holy to make finer yet. As a perfect diamond, but set in gold finery. One is purely of flesh or animal (or as close to animals as men can be), one is of flesh with the wizened spirit of holiness. No, these dreams were just... about the right love of mind, flesh, and spirit, and without wedlock so without the physical aspects. Always a touch bittersweet but this time more sweet than bitter. Perspective, I think, is the palette upon which we render our understandings and in this case the color choices for painting were picture perfect for romanticized renaissance innocence.
There were other dreams. Just stuff of life. No great or even little fuss, just a review of life as if reading the diary of someone just living their life. Dreams are such odd things. Vexing, soothing, interesting, dull, or just odd, mixing those elements and others into a mental smoothy that sometimes mean something, sometimes not. Our own personal little mysteries of life. I don't think God dreams, but could you imagine His dreams if He did? Well... actually... I think we can. In some ways, I think we are the result of what passes for His dreams, even to, at times, His nightmares... in the crucifixion among other ills of man. Like me, though, He has the ability to make bad things right, in His "dreams", only better than I ever could. And, I don't think, for Him, it is a mystery, more a grand artistic masterpiece. One designed before it began and running exactly on His schedule. Hard to imagine for people who can't even create a web page for a king's ransom that runs. Though, that might be part of their schtick to force something else. The Godless fail and seem to mean to do so, as it isn't a part time job for them, they aim at failure then hit the gas. It's they only thing they know.
Today? I don't know. I'm not quite yet awake. I put a load in the washing machine last night, and I am considering dishes today. I'm simply not staying focused. When it was suggested that my writing might be stream of consciousness in style, and I suggested that was from how I think, imagine if that is how I live. Now... stop imagining. I simply don't have the ability to alter the stream much. Sometimes, rarely, I can act on some thoughts if they come to me. No more, no less, and only a possibility. Sleep walking while awake. Oh, but I try younglings, I do try. And pray.
Later.
Tuesday, November 5, 2013
Dinner was quite nice.
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I wasn't quick about getting ready. I didn't have it in me to rush. Thankfully I did have it in me to ease into prep. A trimmer cleaning of my face, a shower, then a regular shave. A bit of a break as I air dried. A shirt, then a top shirt and a little rest. Socks and some more sitting. Finally pants and boots and a final mirror review. Ugly but as good as it gets. Out the door just in time to stop at the post office. The ring was in. It fits, but only because it goes on my smallest finger. My pinkies should be smaller but both have been broken... or... such... and the scar tissue makes them bigger. I am well pleased with the ring.
I didn't think the bible would be in. The seller suggested it might not be in until the 17th. There it was. I will be reviewing it in the next few days, or when I can next focus. Should be interesting. I will be able to tell which ones I prefer quickly. While not technically a linguist, language is stronger in me than math and science, but not as art forms, as scientific means of relaying ideas. If I happen to have some skill at writing or poetry, it is incidental to my... interest in the topic. Everything comes down to language. Even math is merely a form of language, music, even sex. Never mind.
I did enjoy my evening out with the ladies. Food was quite good. Conversation was slightly assertive, but I have some issues that need tending and I, as I suggested, do not negotiate. I do not fly with my passions, or submit to the Holy Spirit without reference to the rest of the Trinity. I must have reason, logic, debate, and deconstruction. I will no more build a house based on a dowser than I will fly a plane blindfolded the first time. Hmm... after gaining some globally axial acclimation from steering a sub, I might be able to do that latter better than most, but I'm not that foolish anyway. Doing better and still being dead isn't much of an improvement. Thing is, I don't just jump. When I jump, I take the world with me anyway. It's never quite what it might seem. Be careful what you wish for.
After dinner, I did make it to the store, two stores. Groceries aplenty. I was afraid after shopping at the first store. The ticket was rather mild, as was dinner somehow actually. I have no idea how things work out, but they do. I don't have the energy to count up, so must simply trust, good or ill. I then needed to stop for cat food and decided on a coffee grinder, electric. I just can't keep up on the grinding by hand. There were only two, I didn't really compare that closely. I grabbed the one that generally looked the best. Bleh. It, I hope, wasn't the best one. It's a mess to work with. I may take it back, depending on what the other one looks like, for an exchange or flat out return if the other one is also bunk.
Ribeye was $14.99 a pound. Hamburger, just the regular stuff, was $4.99. Huh? I can't afford beef! I can only imagine what families are going through! Everything was outrageous! Splenda, the only sugar replacement I can really tolerate well, was $9.99 for five pounds? The last time I bought it, and all times before for years, it was about $5 for five pounds... doubled? Seriously? I can't afford to be diabetic! I may simply have to go back to sugar. No, I simply can't use the others. Not for general use. Pasta was on sale. Several of the things I was looking for were on sale. But some of the things I wanted were astronomically too expensive. They did have some ribeyes for $5 per in the case, but... they looked like pig-beef. All the fat was on the edge or a Nike-like-wedge, with no marbling at all. Beef chops, really. Ugh. It's come to being a peasant, making $45-50k a year? Really?
I did pick up enough cabbage to experiment with some things. Some I may just steam, adding butter, salt, and pepper. Some I would like to layer, in a casserole. Other I would like to try roasting with chicken or... such. I bought two green and one red head. Ah well. I'll keep trying. My feet are a bit sore. I have been homebound for a long time now. As little as I walked, I did so with boots on, both having boots on and walking any distance are time 'local' novelties. I hope to sleep well.
Good night.
.
I wasn't quick about getting ready. I didn't have it in me to rush. Thankfully I did have it in me to ease into prep. A trimmer cleaning of my face, a shower, then a regular shave. A bit of a break as I air dried. A shirt, then a top shirt and a little rest. Socks and some more sitting. Finally pants and boots and a final mirror review. Ugly but as good as it gets. Out the door just in time to stop at the post office. The ring was in. It fits, but only because it goes on my smallest finger. My pinkies should be smaller but both have been broken... or... such... and the scar tissue makes them bigger. I am well pleased with the ring.
I didn't think the bible would be in. The seller suggested it might not be in until the 17th. There it was. I will be reviewing it in the next few days, or when I can next focus. Should be interesting. I will be able to tell which ones I prefer quickly. While not technically a linguist, language is stronger in me than math and science, but not as art forms, as scientific means of relaying ideas. If I happen to have some skill at writing or poetry, it is incidental to my... interest in the topic. Everything comes down to language. Even math is merely a form of language, music, even sex. Never mind.
I did enjoy my evening out with the ladies. Food was quite good. Conversation was slightly assertive, but I have some issues that need tending and I, as I suggested, do not negotiate. I do not fly with my passions, or submit to the Holy Spirit without reference to the rest of the Trinity. I must have reason, logic, debate, and deconstruction. I will no more build a house based on a dowser than I will fly a plane blindfolded the first time. Hmm... after gaining some globally axial acclimation from steering a sub, I might be able to do that latter better than most, but I'm not that foolish anyway. Doing better and still being dead isn't much of an improvement. Thing is, I don't just jump. When I jump, I take the world with me anyway. It's never quite what it might seem. Be careful what you wish for.
After dinner, I did make it to the store, two stores. Groceries aplenty. I was afraid after shopping at the first store. The ticket was rather mild, as was dinner somehow actually. I have no idea how things work out, but they do. I don't have the energy to count up, so must simply trust, good or ill. I then needed to stop for cat food and decided on a coffee grinder, electric. I just can't keep up on the grinding by hand. There were only two, I didn't really compare that closely. I grabbed the one that generally looked the best. Bleh. It, I hope, wasn't the best one. It's a mess to work with. I may take it back, depending on what the other one looks like, for an exchange or flat out return if the other one is also bunk.
Ribeye was $14.99 a pound. Hamburger, just the regular stuff, was $4.99. Huh? I can't afford beef! I can only imagine what families are going through! Everything was outrageous! Splenda, the only sugar replacement I can really tolerate well, was $9.99 for five pounds? The last time I bought it, and all times before for years, it was about $5 for five pounds... doubled? Seriously? I can't afford to be diabetic! I may simply have to go back to sugar. No, I simply can't use the others. Not for general use. Pasta was on sale. Several of the things I was looking for were on sale. But some of the things I wanted were astronomically too expensive. They did have some ribeyes for $5 per in the case, but... they looked like pig-beef. All the fat was on the edge or a Nike-like-wedge, with no marbling at all. Beef chops, really. Ugh. It's come to being a peasant, making $45-50k a year? Really?
I did pick up enough cabbage to experiment with some things. Some I may just steam, adding butter, salt, and pepper. Some I would like to layer, in a casserole. Other I would like to try roasting with chicken or... such. I bought two green and one red head. Ah well. I'll keep trying. My feet are a bit sore. I have been homebound for a long time now. As little as I walked, I did so with boots on, both having boots on and walking any distance are time 'local' novelties. I hope to sleep well.
Good night.
Best get going!
.
.
I need to get a shower, groom, dress, and try to get a package that arrived today, before then getting on to dinner. The package? A man's chastity ring. I hope it fits. I ordered the largest size they carry. Oh, and... yeah... silver... There are reasons for that. Full, and worse, blue moons, you know.
Not much else going on, nor can it. I best get going. I also ordered a multi-version bible, New Testament anyway. There are eight translations on each two page opening. Yes, there are reasons. Not all can use this, I can. I can't read the Hebrew and Greek, or even the Latin Vulgate, but I can do this. I haven't seen much going for multi-version Catholic OT versions but I keep looking. Actually, as for books, only the OT is different from Protestant bibles.
Catholic bibles have more. In the time of Luther there were no original Aramaic, Hebrew, or Greek versions of certain books in the OT, and some of those books made some of what he was saying dubious. After the finding of the Dead Sea Scrolls, however, proving these books existed and showing they were rather well translated, though only bits and pieces remain, I would have thought, would have reinstated the Catholic bible mainstream across the board, but it doesn't seem as if that was ever the issue. And, there is still the problem with some of the texts being... problematic to Protestantism. I hope to begin another round of bible studies. For the OT I will simply have to purchase a specific version of the Douay-Rheims bible.
Yeah, boring techy stuff, but... it's my gig, or one of them. Later!
.
Not much else going on, nor can it. I best get going. I also ordered a multi-version bible, New Testament anyway. There are eight translations on each two page opening. Yes, there are reasons. Not all can use this, I can. I can't read the Hebrew and Greek, or even the Latin Vulgate, but I can do this. I haven't seen much going for multi-version Catholic OT versions but I keep looking. Actually, as for books, only the OT is different from Protestant bibles.
Catholic bibles have more. In the time of Luther there were no original Aramaic, Hebrew, or Greek versions of certain books in the OT, and some of those books made some of what he was saying dubious. After the finding of the Dead Sea Scrolls, however, proving these books existed and showing they were rather well translated, though only bits and pieces remain, I would have thought, would have reinstated the Catholic bible mainstream across the board, but it doesn't seem as if that was ever the issue. And, there is still the problem with some of the texts being... problematic to Protestantism. I hope to begin another round of bible studies. For the OT I will simply have to purchase a specific version of the Douay-Rheims bible.
Yeah, boring techy stuff, but... it's my gig, or one of them. Later!
Thoughts...
.
.
Why? Who cares. They are here, I will simply share them musically. Hmm? Oh, some artistic rendering and a little translating, of course, but...
.
Why? Who cares. They are here, I will simply share them musically. Hmm? Oh, some artistic rendering and a little translating, of course, but...
Way late to bed, midnight.
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.
No problems, it is going to happen. Either a night up late, or the begin of a slide, I never quite know. Not wanting to shove my nose in it, because I simply don't have it to offer, I set the alarm for 10:00, hoping even that would be enough. Perhaps just the time change is throwing things a bit? Dunno. I woke a bit after 7:00, but that seemed a little early so I tried to go back to sleep. I never could get back to sleep, if I did rest a bit more, so really out of bed by 7:43 or some such silly odd number. I do feel good though.
I need to get a shower in, then to try and do things today. I have a meal planned for tonight, out. It'll be good to be out. I am hoping, after dinner, to go to the store. Just a bit of this, a bit of that, and some of those. If I had things more on the ball I would like to figure out some meal planning. Truth is, even in the best of my health, I have never had enough going to really do that. I try to buy a spectrum of various foods that can be made in a number of ways, some meats, and just hope I can get those cooked before they go bad. Onions would be nice, but they often go bad, forgotten in veggie trey. I will get some of those anyway. Cabbage too. I'd like to experiment with cabbage. Sure, it's great in corned beef, goes great with it. For me, I don't think it would stand on it's own. It's too mild. Hmm, roasting it in with chicken might not be bad? Put it down in the fats with some water? Maybe. What else? Cabbage meat pockets are too much work, for me. But the notion is solid. How to make an easier meal like that? Layering the leaves, like lasagna? Hey now... I like that notion.
I do feel good. No pains, no complaints, just nothing else. The drive is trying to break me free. Something is simply missing. BP might still just be too high, and my body might still simply be adjusting to the meds. Plus, winter, if not here, is knocking, and that cold rat man is a bear to come to terms with. I did good last year, hope to do so again, but it isn't and instant friendship. Snow boots and gators so far, snow shoes and poles next. I've also been looking at wool pants and a parka worthy of the mountain cold, for next month and the month after most likely. One thing at a time, or small grouping. Oh, and I best consider a face mask with an exhaust system, for temps to -80 with wind. It's my kind of weather, but even I have to use my brain a bit. Those facemasks remind me of a regulator. I'll bet they do make breathing harder. There is a tradeoff. If I can handle them, in my condition, they will add to the workouts. But I am betting they really pay for themselves.
Well... later. ;)
.
No problems, it is going to happen. Either a night up late, or the begin of a slide, I never quite know. Not wanting to shove my nose in it, because I simply don't have it to offer, I set the alarm for 10:00, hoping even that would be enough. Perhaps just the time change is throwing things a bit? Dunno. I woke a bit after 7:00, but that seemed a little early so I tried to go back to sleep. I never could get back to sleep, if I did rest a bit more, so really out of bed by 7:43 or some such silly odd number. I do feel good though.
I need to get a shower in, then to try and do things today. I have a meal planned for tonight, out. It'll be good to be out. I am hoping, after dinner, to go to the store. Just a bit of this, a bit of that, and some of those. If I had things more on the ball I would like to figure out some meal planning. Truth is, even in the best of my health, I have never had enough going to really do that. I try to buy a spectrum of various foods that can be made in a number of ways, some meats, and just hope I can get those cooked before they go bad. Onions would be nice, but they often go bad, forgotten in veggie trey. I will get some of those anyway. Cabbage too. I'd like to experiment with cabbage. Sure, it's great in corned beef, goes great with it. For me, I don't think it would stand on it's own. It's too mild. Hmm, roasting it in with chicken might not be bad? Put it down in the fats with some water? Maybe. What else? Cabbage meat pockets are too much work, for me. But the notion is solid. How to make an easier meal like that? Layering the leaves, like lasagna? Hey now... I like that notion.
I do feel good. No pains, no complaints, just nothing else. The drive is trying to break me free. Something is simply missing. BP might still just be too high, and my body might still simply be adjusting to the meds. Plus, winter, if not here, is knocking, and that cold rat man is a bear to come to terms with. I did good last year, hope to do so again, but it isn't and instant friendship. Snow boots and gators so far, snow shoes and poles next. I've also been looking at wool pants and a parka worthy of the mountain cold, for next month and the month after most likely. One thing at a time, or small grouping. Oh, and I best consider a face mask with an exhaust system, for temps to -80 with wind. It's my kind of weather, but even I have to use my brain a bit. Those facemasks remind me of a regulator. I'll bet they do make breathing harder. There is a tradeoff. If I can handle them, in my condition, they will add to the workouts. But I am betting they really pay for themselves.
Well... later. ;)
Monday, November 4, 2013
Do you use herbal supplements?
.
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Are you sure? A recent report, using dna profiling, shows that you may not be.
I have, from time to time, tried various supplements. At this time, I only use vitamins and minerals. I can't point to anything saying what I use helps, other than definitively with a small subset of them. Since going on water pills, which cause me to urinate more, reducing body fluids and at a high dose really, my potassium was hitting dangerous lows. Since adding a specific group of supplements, over my daily vitamins, I have eliminated the need to take supplemental potassium in insane doses. I feared taking that much potassium, just in case something changed and I ended up with too much. Further, of the various ways there are to take it, none of them fit my life, or tastes, or g.i. tranquility. As to daily vitamins? I can't point to anything specific, as I mentioned. But I do have a general sense that life is ever so slightly better. Fiction, perhaps, but I do believe it.
There have been times where I have tried other, what might be called actual, supplements. Things for sleep, things for this or that, on several occasions. I, personally, had no luck with these others or I might have continued to take them. The answer might be in this new report. Out of 44 products, from 12 different companies, many problems were found. Only two of the companies were clean. The rest used unlisted fillers and outright contaminants which are bad for people, to watering down or even not including the main/active ingredients listed. One was nothing but grain filler! Now I don't feel so bad that what is supposed to work doesn't. The truth is, I may not have even tried the product. The problem is, there is no way to be sure about any product, at this point, unless I tried to do it myself. I have limits, and that would be among them.
Is there a chance this research is bogus, a bought service by big pharma or some other group? Sure. But with genetic coding, it simply stands a bit better of a chance at being legitimate. However, they aren't listing the products or companies. They suggest they do this so as to not pick on a particular company. That doesn't hold much water. That could easily be a way to hide the flaws in the research. Although it might also keep them from being sued, legitimate or not. My experience, while just one guy with a few products of somewhat questionable worth since I can't and don't know if they have even been tried by me, for sure, however, does support the thesis to within my tolerances. The question is, how would you know about such a product without testing yourself or by a lab at your expense? I don't have the equipment or skills to test these things anymore than I could make my own. Buyer beware, it's all I am suggesting.
Oh, and good night.
.
Are you sure? A recent report, using dna profiling, shows that you may not be.
I have, from time to time, tried various supplements. At this time, I only use vitamins and minerals. I can't point to anything saying what I use helps, other than definitively with a small subset of them. Since going on water pills, which cause me to urinate more, reducing body fluids and at a high dose really, my potassium was hitting dangerous lows. Since adding a specific group of supplements, over my daily vitamins, I have eliminated the need to take supplemental potassium in insane doses. I feared taking that much potassium, just in case something changed and I ended up with too much. Further, of the various ways there are to take it, none of them fit my life, or tastes, or g.i. tranquility. As to daily vitamins? I can't point to anything specific, as I mentioned. But I do have a general sense that life is ever so slightly better. Fiction, perhaps, but I do believe it.
There have been times where I have tried other, what might be called actual, supplements. Things for sleep, things for this or that, on several occasions. I, personally, had no luck with these others or I might have continued to take them. The answer might be in this new report. Out of 44 products, from 12 different companies, many problems were found. Only two of the companies were clean. The rest used unlisted fillers and outright contaminants which are bad for people, to watering down or even not including the main/active ingredients listed. One was nothing but grain filler! Now I don't feel so bad that what is supposed to work doesn't. The truth is, I may not have even tried the product. The problem is, there is no way to be sure about any product, at this point, unless I tried to do it myself. I have limits, and that would be among them.
Is there a chance this research is bogus, a bought service by big pharma or some other group? Sure. But with genetic coding, it simply stands a bit better of a chance at being legitimate. However, they aren't listing the products or companies. They suggest they do this so as to not pick on a particular company. That doesn't hold much water. That could easily be a way to hide the flaws in the research. Although it might also keep them from being sued, legitimate or not. My experience, while just one guy with a few products of somewhat questionable worth since I can't and don't know if they have even been tried by me, for sure, however, does support the thesis to within my tolerances. The question is, how would you know about such a product without testing yourself or by a lab at your expense? I don't have the equipment or skills to test these things anymore than I could make my own. Buyer beware, it's all I am suggesting.
Oh, and good night.
How very strange.
.
.
It seems that I have a new doctor. I just received a call telling me about the new arrangement, and asking if I wished to make an appointment. Just to make sure it sticks, I arranged an appointment for early next year. It does seem as if... never mind. Reality, I think, was just folded, altered. I always worry, when getting a new doctor. I would like to ask how it could be worse, but asking such a question is akin to asking how much more pain one can endure. I know, as much pain as I have endured, even enough to kill me once, that I can, in some instances, for short times, endure much more. Simply, some questions are best left unasked. I will know more shortly.
A young local gentleman was finding tasks for neighboring missionaries. I was not terribly ready for company, and yet... usually take the opportunity when it is possible. Raking, I suggested. Not the whole yard. Even just my yard is a bit much, with the field? No, just the front yard, and to have piles of leaves. I went to the garage and found two more rakes, one of which I used. I have mentioned that I can help, and like to help, when I can think out of my box or others can do that part. After we finished, he asked about other tasks. Ah! Help organizing the wood behind the shed, and neatening that area. Friday, early afternoon, it was suggested. I will have hot cocoa, and maybe some other treats ready. I would love to bake a pie but I just don't have that to me. I'll... think of something. I had retained some of the treats from Halloween. Shouldn't have, but I did give the vast bulk of them away... on Halloween night itself, for the library, to hand out in school, and such. I really shouldn't be eating them, but actually my blood sugar, last I checked, after rising to 250 when eating rightly, dropped 40 points after I gave up and indulged. Yeah, don't know. Still, I gave as much of that stash away in thanks today as I could. Crazy kids... all of us.
I keep trying to figure out visits to this page. Between the various systems for checking there is no agreement. Further, the areas of difference don't make sense. If some section of them could be seen to be problematic, they should show up as a bulk, if not obvious at least teasably findable missing group. It doesn't work out that way. What is missing is the bulk, not the spread. I have my visits set to not be shown, but on the site that suggests the most visits, taking out all those visits that use Firefox, and the numbers remain unchanged mostly. FireFox is only 4% of visits. I seem to be getting 55-65 per day, depending on which site is checked, with very on-site page jumps. I don't know. I'm not sure any of them can be trusted. It's all... odd. Site Meter, according to my checks, shows up as an untrusted site to visit, beyond that. I'll keep trying to figure things out. Oh, and no, I don't try to figure out who, when, or such, regarding visitors. Most of you don't show up as having visited in any way that is discernible, identifiable, by my systems anyway. Oh, but the Russians no longer visit. I am not sure if they were really Russian or if those were engineered to appear to be Russian visits. They might even have been Google trying to get visit numbers bumped for their marketing or other such reasons. With 15-20 hits lasting moments, I just never took those too seriously.
Dang it! Now I know who had the heart attack. He's a really decent man. I was praying for him and family anyway. But... now that I know who... I can't do more than pray, and with my social standing and such I stay away. Just hate to see the good ones go down.
I can't get to much, but... At least there is company. And dinner will be coming shortly, going out to pizza with the young ladies tomorrow night. And some things are being arranged and rearranged. And I am staying on my medicine better, mostly. Later. :)
.
It seems that I have a new doctor. I just received a call telling me about the new arrangement, and asking if I wished to make an appointment. Just to make sure it sticks, I arranged an appointment for early next year. It does seem as if... never mind. Reality, I think, was just folded, altered. I always worry, when getting a new doctor. I would like to ask how it could be worse, but asking such a question is akin to asking how much more pain one can endure. I know, as much pain as I have endured, even enough to kill me once, that I can, in some instances, for short times, endure much more. Simply, some questions are best left unasked. I will know more shortly.
A young local gentleman was finding tasks for neighboring missionaries. I was not terribly ready for company, and yet... usually take the opportunity when it is possible. Raking, I suggested. Not the whole yard. Even just my yard is a bit much, with the field? No, just the front yard, and to have piles of leaves. I went to the garage and found two more rakes, one of which I used. I have mentioned that I can help, and like to help, when I can think out of my box or others can do that part. After we finished, he asked about other tasks. Ah! Help organizing the wood behind the shed, and neatening that area. Friday, early afternoon, it was suggested. I will have hot cocoa, and maybe some other treats ready. I would love to bake a pie but I just don't have that to me. I'll... think of something. I had retained some of the treats from Halloween. Shouldn't have, but I did give the vast bulk of them away... on Halloween night itself, for the library, to hand out in school, and such. I really shouldn't be eating them, but actually my blood sugar, last I checked, after rising to 250 when eating rightly, dropped 40 points after I gave up and indulged. Yeah, don't know. Still, I gave as much of that stash away in thanks today as I could. Crazy kids... all of us.
I keep trying to figure out visits to this page. Between the various systems for checking there is no agreement. Further, the areas of difference don't make sense. If some section of them could be seen to be problematic, they should show up as a bulk, if not obvious at least teasably findable missing group. It doesn't work out that way. What is missing is the bulk, not the spread. I have my visits set to not be shown, but on the site that suggests the most visits, taking out all those visits that use Firefox, and the numbers remain unchanged mostly. FireFox is only 4% of visits. I seem to be getting 55-65 per day, depending on which site is checked, with very on-site page jumps. I don't know. I'm not sure any of them can be trusted. It's all... odd. Site Meter, according to my checks, shows up as an untrusted site to visit, beyond that. I'll keep trying to figure things out. Oh, and no, I don't try to figure out who, when, or such, regarding visitors. Most of you don't show up as having visited in any way that is discernible, identifiable, by my systems anyway. Oh, but the Russians no longer visit. I am not sure if they were really Russian or if those were engineered to appear to be Russian visits. They might even have been Google trying to get visit numbers bumped for their marketing or other such reasons. With 15-20 hits lasting moments, I just never took those too seriously.
Dang it! Now I know who had the heart attack. He's a really decent man. I was praying for him and family anyway. But... now that I know who... I can't do more than pray, and with my social standing and such I stay away. Just hate to see the good ones go down.
I can't get to much, but... At least there is company. And dinner will be coming shortly, going out to pizza with the young ladies tomorrow night. And some things are being arranged and rearranged. And I am staying on my medicine better, mostly. Later. :)
Have you ever wondered?
.
.
Have you ever walked into a restaurant where the owner, head chef, staff, and patrons, are all tattooed to the gills? With body piercing and odd but exotic and expensive clothing? Or a supposed grocery store of a similar nature? I never thought much about it, just noticing the oddity of such places. Then, recently, it hit me. Those people didn't get their start up money from mom and dad, the bank, or legitimate work. They were in the drug business. They might still be in that business. It's a front, or an attempt to go straight. I could bother to explain but why? Those who wish not to believe won't, and those who know wouldn't admit such a thing.
What I am noticing is that the economic downturn is very real. These business are disappearing, left and right. They weren't, most likely, in it to make money, only to hide or clean it. Odd that the obvious, to me, results of the black market are the key to seeing the real effect of an economic calamity of the scale I am seeing. Further, the sales of atv's, motorcycles, and other gear of those trying to hide their money but get something for it? My guess is these are going down. Tattoo parlors? How well are they doing? Think about what a drug dealer might buy, or service wanted by such, that would be alternative and easy to hide under the radar. Now, look at those industries.
My evaluation of the drastic decline of these industries is merely empirical. My assessment that many of these industries are drug related, even peripherally or only partially, is just a suspicion. Even home use computer manufacturing is dying, and that's a rather extended connection, if valid I think. I don't trust the media to discuss such things. As many Mexican reporters that have been murdered, and as soft on tyranny our reporters are, I don't think you will see much reported on this connection. Oh, don't go eulogizing those dead reporters, many were killed for choosing the wrong cartel, not for doing the "right thing".
Now, is actual drug use down? I won't say that. I will say that, as those who are addicted fail, and as the resources for employment, even theft or trade in the business of their addiction, decreases, those addicted to drugs are searching for cheaper highs. Crank, crack, even krokodil are hitting the market. People are making it themselves. Gone are the more expensive, harder to find due to... import regulations, which serve to keep prices high... hard drugs. Addicts are hitting rock bottom.
I wish it were due to police action having an effect. But the truth simply isn't there. Police, knowingly or not on a case by case basis, but definitely systemically, are there to protect the payers from competition and to keep prices in a certain range, not to protect people from a social scourge, especially one so many imbibe. If you want to understand how law and illegal substances merge, do a quick (or better serious) study of Chicago under Al Capone. Go further, to a national study of Prohibition. It was more about payoffs, public opinion, compromises between allowance and appearances, and keeping the murder rates "reasonable". There was never a serious attempt to end the use of alcohol, only profit from it monetarily, politically, even socially. Same with drugs.
There are nations who do crack down, and mean to end use. They have the death penalty for smugglers, dealers, and possibly even for users or repeat user offenders. Sure, there is still a market, but that market is quite small, extremely secretive, and always afraid. They don't live large, they don't recruit people into their cult, there aren't easy ways to hide money which most likely is smuggled out just as drugs are smuggled in, if maybe in a different form.
Which is right? I have my opinion, true. I also have some reasonable guess as to how many who read here have, or even still do, use. Oh, probably the "little stuff", probably. Or only the legal stuff, if a bit much or not exactly prescribed to the user. It's everywhere. In the blogosphere more than one would think. My guess is it is the real crux behind most libertarian ideals, and actually liberal thinking, which is why quite often I can't go there, sticking more with the Tea Party, when I go more politically alt. Oh, it's there too, it just isn't the real focus, or even from what I have seen one of the platforms. Drugs are just a social reality, and part of why this nation is crumbling. But, as I noted, I do see... declines in the adjacent, connected, industries. I wish I could suggest that NSA spying had something to do with it, but I can't. They are looking for "anti-government" types (Tea Partiers, even libertarians). (No, they aren't looking for Akhmed the bomber.) Further, they wouldn't let out what they are doing to score a drug lord. But they might use it to score a conservative and have the IRS run him through for a closer scan. No risk, it's just a tip line away, or intergovernmental so not subject to overview, real or imagined as the transgression might be.
All I can see is the mess isn't solvable as is. We are going to become Mexico, if we aren't there already. All good, right? No difference between this, that, and the other thing, right? Why do you think Mexicans swim rivers, climb fences, pay thugs who might pimp them out, hike through deserts, and take huge risks and expenses to get here? Seriously?
.
Have you ever walked into a restaurant where the owner, head chef, staff, and patrons, are all tattooed to the gills? With body piercing and odd but exotic and expensive clothing? Or a supposed grocery store of a similar nature? I never thought much about it, just noticing the oddity of such places. Then, recently, it hit me. Those people didn't get their start up money from mom and dad, the bank, or legitimate work. They were in the drug business. They might still be in that business. It's a front, or an attempt to go straight. I could bother to explain but why? Those who wish not to believe won't, and those who know wouldn't admit such a thing.
What I am noticing is that the economic downturn is very real. These business are disappearing, left and right. They weren't, most likely, in it to make money, only to hide or clean it. Odd that the obvious, to me, results of the black market are the key to seeing the real effect of an economic calamity of the scale I am seeing. Further, the sales of atv's, motorcycles, and other gear of those trying to hide their money but get something for it? My guess is these are going down. Tattoo parlors? How well are they doing? Think about what a drug dealer might buy, or service wanted by such, that would be alternative and easy to hide under the radar. Now, look at those industries.
My evaluation of the drastic decline of these industries is merely empirical. My assessment that many of these industries are drug related, even peripherally or only partially, is just a suspicion. Even home use computer manufacturing is dying, and that's a rather extended connection, if valid I think. I don't trust the media to discuss such things. As many Mexican reporters that have been murdered, and as soft on tyranny our reporters are, I don't think you will see much reported on this connection. Oh, don't go eulogizing those dead reporters, many were killed for choosing the wrong cartel, not for doing the "right thing".
Now, is actual drug use down? I won't say that. I will say that, as those who are addicted fail, and as the resources for employment, even theft or trade in the business of their addiction, decreases, those addicted to drugs are searching for cheaper highs. Crank, crack, even krokodil are hitting the market. People are making it themselves. Gone are the more expensive, harder to find due to... import regulations, which serve to keep prices high... hard drugs. Addicts are hitting rock bottom.
I wish it were due to police action having an effect. But the truth simply isn't there. Police, knowingly or not on a case by case basis, but definitely systemically, are there to protect the payers from competition and to keep prices in a certain range, not to protect people from a social scourge, especially one so many imbibe. If you want to understand how law and illegal substances merge, do a quick (or better serious) study of Chicago under Al Capone. Go further, to a national study of Prohibition. It was more about payoffs, public opinion, compromises between allowance and appearances, and keeping the murder rates "reasonable". There was never a serious attempt to end the use of alcohol, only profit from it monetarily, politically, even socially. Same with drugs.
There are nations who do crack down, and mean to end use. They have the death penalty for smugglers, dealers, and possibly even for users or repeat user offenders. Sure, there is still a market, but that market is quite small, extremely secretive, and always afraid. They don't live large, they don't recruit people into their cult, there aren't easy ways to hide money which most likely is smuggled out just as drugs are smuggled in, if maybe in a different form.
Which is right? I have my opinion, true. I also have some reasonable guess as to how many who read here have, or even still do, use. Oh, probably the "little stuff", probably. Or only the legal stuff, if a bit much or not exactly prescribed to the user. It's everywhere. In the blogosphere more than one would think. My guess is it is the real crux behind most libertarian ideals, and actually liberal thinking, which is why quite often I can't go there, sticking more with the Tea Party, when I go more politically alt. Oh, it's there too, it just isn't the real focus, or even from what I have seen one of the platforms. Drugs are just a social reality, and part of why this nation is crumbling. But, as I noted, I do see... declines in the adjacent, connected, industries. I wish I could suggest that NSA spying had something to do with it, but I can't. They are looking for "anti-government" types (Tea Partiers, even libertarians). (No, they aren't looking for Akhmed the bomber.) Further, they wouldn't let out what they are doing to score a drug lord. But they might use it to score a conservative and have the IRS run him through for a closer scan. No risk, it's just a tip line away, or intergovernmental so not subject to overview, real or imagined as the transgression might be.
All I can see is the mess isn't solvable as is. We are going to become Mexico, if we aren't there already. All good, right? No difference between this, that, and the other thing, right? Why do you think Mexicans swim rivers, climb fences, pay thugs who might pimp them out, hike through deserts, and take huge risks and expenses to get here? Seriously?
Awake a bit late, but good enough.
.
.
To bed by 22:30, but not really comfortable for no specific reason. I dreamed much but lost it. It was a mixed bag of good and bad dreams, if memory serves even that far. Rocking and rolling, sleep seemed just a bit off, if that wasn't a real issue. Perhaps just the change in time, along with all that, is throwing me a bit. I heard the alarm at 8:00, whatever time that really is/was. I don't have a close association with the world of flesh as is, so changing things doesn't help. I thought I would get up, turned off the alarm, went to roll out of bed, and did... at 10:00 or so. It's... sort of funny though too, at least since I wasn't late for anything. If you can back out of a failure, and just see it objectively, the human and human like creature is sort of a cute creature. Trying, succeeding, failing, sleeping, napping, odd little habits... Imagine if that was a bear that went to wake up, then fell back to slumber for a bit, in an odd position. Same same, only I'm not ever, and won't ever be, hunted for my fur or for eating cattle (without permission).
I fed the girls first thing, since woke so late. I did try to set my mind to wake at 5:00-6:00 but that simply fell through. I am hoping, today, to get to some of what I missed yesterday. I have an appointment tomorrow afternoon, which I think I will be able to make. Other than that, not much else going on.
I am still simply in a blah part of medicinal titration. I'll get through it. I will go through these times quite often though, even on medicines. Sometimes the medicines will cause it, sometimes my body will. Even with a heart function up to 30-38%, I'm not exactly healthy or fit. That I can lead an independent life, as unfit as that may be at times, is a minor miracle. That I can do even more, at times, is simply beyond unusual as well. That I pay a price for it, even should I have stayed on medicines, is just the reality of the gig I live. If I were heavily into working out, I would go through down spells as well. World class athletes have to take down times. The harder they train, the shorter is the period in which they can train at top level. It's a simple reality check and limit. Pushing that brings strains, injury, pain. How many pro level athletes are unfit to rake their own lawns now? You might be surprised. Just a reality, and within my condition, actually a fairly high functioning one. I need to be careful of pushing, and understanding of the price is all. Burning Man was worth it.
My next appointment is the 18th. I am hoping to be on, or close to, full medications by then. I don't know where my bp is, or blood sugar. I simply haven't been able to keep on tracking that. I'll keep trying to keep that in the menu options.
Life is good, just a little slow. I still get up to the plate once in a while, and take a crack at the ball. I simply can't round the plates right now so no one will put me in the game, including me. Do what you can. There is always the hope that medicine will bring me to some level of greater capacity. Before it stops being available. And, yeah, I think that is coming. Even 50% heart capacity would give me a better chance. Something, anything, to not have them put me down, or escape if I see that coming, or survive without them if that is the way it breaks. I do believe, if just in my mind, that I have an idea what the Jews who couldn't get out of Germany must have been going through. Zerocare, and death boards, are coming folks. Like the unfinished Deathstar, it will be ready before one may actually know it. But when it is ready, there may be no one able to dismantle it.
I honestly suspect that NSA spying is why liberalism is winning. They have used the data to throw elections, influence judges *cough* Roberts *cough* cause senators and congressmen to water down their attempts to fight things, and vote in specific ways, perhaps even pushing the last pope out. I don't know, no proof I mean, I simply suspect. Like the IRS, EPA, and the rest, the NSA is being used for pro-big government activities and undermining the will of the people, both in the US and abroad.
.
To bed by 22:30, but not really comfortable for no specific reason. I dreamed much but lost it. It was a mixed bag of good and bad dreams, if memory serves even that far. Rocking and rolling, sleep seemed just a bit off, if that wasn't a real issue. Perhaps just the change in time, along with all that, is throwing me a bit. I heard the alarm at 8:00, whatever time that really is/was. I don't have a close association with the world of flesh as is, so changing things doesn't help. I thought I would get up, turned off the alarm, went to roll out of bed, and did... at 10:00 or so. It's... sort of funny though too, at least since I wasn't late for anything. If you can back out of a failure, and just see it objectively, the human and human like creature is sort of a cute creature. Trying, succeeding, failing, sleeping, napping, odd little habits... Imagine if that was a bear that went to wake up, then fell back to slumber for a bit, in an odd position. Same same, only I'm not ever, and won't ever be, hunted for my fur or for eating cattle (without permission).
I fed the girls first thing, since woke so late. I did try to set my mind to wake at 5:00-6:00 but that simply fell through. I am hoping, today, to get to some of what I missed yesterday. I have an appointment tomorrow afternoon, which I think I will be able to make. Other than that, not much else going on.
I am still simply in a blah part of medicinal titration. I'll get through it. I will go through these times quite often though, even on medicines. Sometimes the medicines will cause it, sometimes my body will. Even with a heart function up to 30-38%, I'm not exactly healthy or fit. That I can lead an independent life, as unfit as that may be at times, is a minor miracle. That I can do even more, at times, is simply beyond unusual as well. That I pay a price for it, even should I have stayed on medicines, is just the reality of the gig I live. If I were heavily into working out, I would go through down spells as well. World class athletes have to take down times. The harder they train, the shorter is the period in which they can train at top level. It's a simple reality check and limit. Pushing that brings strains, injury, pain. How many pro level athletes are unfit to rake their own lawns now? You might be surprised. Just a reality, and within my condition, actually a fairly high functioning one. I need to be careful of pushing, and understanding of the price is all. Burning Man was worth it.
My next appointment is the 18th. I am hoping to be on, or close to, full medications by then. I don't know where my bp is, or blood sugar. I simply haven't been able to keep on tracking that. I'll keep trying to keep that in the menu options.
Life is good, just a little slow. I still get up to the plate once in a while, and take a crack at the ball. I simply can't round the plates right now so no one will put me in the game, including me. Do what you can. There is always the hope that medicine will bring me to some level of greater capacity. Before it stops being available. And, yeah, I think that is coming. Even 50% heart capacity would give me a better chance. Something, anything, to not have them put me down, or escape if I see that coming, or survive without them if that is the way it breaks. I do believe, if just in my mind, that I have an idea what the Jews who couldn't get out of Germany must have been going through. Zerocare, and death boards, are coming folks. Like the unfinished Deathstar, it will be ready before one may actually know it. But when it is ready, there may be no one able to dismantle it.
I honestly suspect that NSA spying is why liberalism is winning. They have used the data to throw elections, influence judges *cough* Roberts *cough* cause senators and congressmen to water down their attempts to fight things, and vote in specific ways, perhaps even pushing the last pope out. I don't know, no proof I mean, I simply suspect. Like the IRS, EPA, and the rest, the NSA is being used for pro-big government activities and undermining the will of the people, both in the US and abroad.
Sunday, November 3, 2013
Lunch, a nap, that's it.
.
.
I did crash about noon. Being tired, and with only a few clocks reset, I'm not sure if it was noon or 13:00, or maybe even 11:00, when I went down. I was falling pretty hard, couldn't check. I did set the alarm for three hours, according to the alarm time. I woke after two hours though, more easily, and thankfully. I did make lunch, gizzards as I suggested. No veggies though, just wasn't in the mood to figure out a can opener, another pan, or bowl and microwave. Some hot sauce on some, some coffee on the side, all good.
The rest of the day has simply been a recurring theme. Breathing in, breathing out, some reading, maybe some writing? Then more of the same. Not a rough day, just not a top day. The breath of fire that came to me last night is gone, for now. I have a feeling it will be back before long. Those stirrings... aren't usually isolated.
I have mentioned I am not nice, haven't I? I have warned that I shoot relatively straight, say what I mean, and do what I must and to the best of my abilities what is best for me. You know I don't coddle. And you know I put everything in it's place. You have seen me do it even with myself. So, why the surprise? The pain? Only if you are delusional can you believe anything just based on "because". Oh, I still love you. I just won't allow some things, some thoughts, some aggrievements. I don't accept them. Yes, I can see in the dark. Yes, I can see you out there. I am sorry the truth hurts, but you have to know it. As do I.
.
I did crash about noon. Being tired, and with only a few clocks reset, I'm not sure if it was noon or 13:00, or maybe even 11:00, when I went down. I was falling pretty hard, couldn't check. I did set the alarm for three hours, according to the alarm time. I woke after two hours though, more easily, and thankfully. I did make lunch, gizzards as I suggested. No veggies though, just wasn't in the mood to figure out a can opener, another pan, or bowl and microwave. Some hot sauce on some, some coffee on the side, all good.
The rest of the day has simply been a recurring theme. Breathing in, breathing out, some reading, maybe some writing? Then more of the same. Not a rough day, just not a top day. The breath of fire that came to me last night is gone, for now. I have a feeling it will be back before long. Those stirrings... aren't usually isolated.
I have mentioned I am not nice, haven't I? I have warned that I shoot relatively straight, say what I mean, and do what I must and to the best of my abilities what is best for me. You know I don't coddle. And you know I put everything in it's place. You have seen me do it even with myself. So, why the surprise? The pain? Only if you are delusional can you believe anything just based on "because". Oh, I still love you. I just won't allow some things, some thoughts, some aggrievements. I don't accept them. Yes, I can see in the dark. Yes, I can see you out there. I am sorry the truth hurts, but you have to know it. As do I.
Sort of ugh.
.
.
I was able to get back to bed for a while. No sleep, the gullet is still giving me fits. I also noticed, before going to bed, somewhere out there, that today was the rebound day for daylight savings. We lost an hour this time. So I didn't miss out on that much sleep. I got up just before the 8:00 alarm, which means at 7:00, but the time I had meant to get up. Bleh. A bit of coffee right after this post would surely help.
I called my mother first thing. She was chipper and awake. She is visiting her friend, a farmer, former engineer. She keeps his home in good repair, helps him rearrange it, restore rooms, and cooks him meals while there. She is like his part time wife. No, he won't marry. He got off that wagon long ago and won't be lead, cajoled, pushed, or forced back onto it. Nary a word, save giving my obligatory "this is how I stand on things" speech. He knows, she knows, exactly where I stand. And, I know, it is as good as it gets. I am glad for them, that they have someone helping out, he gets her help, she gets his input and help sometimes, and that is that. I don't bust it up, and wouldn't. Dang kids.
It's always good to hear mother's voice. There are fewer things I have that are constant. Actually she is about it. I don't mind, mostly. I am almost unto myself. Most of you don't know that, never have, probably unless you out live all your friends and family and then live on your own, will never understand. Being bullish helps, and usually I don't even notice. Save once in a while, when I call, and remember. Harsh, at times, but it's good to have a clear, true, understanding of where one stands in the world.
Today? I dunno. With sleep messed up, and innards still knotted if to much less of an extent, and still being a bit messed up with medicines, my goals are very simple lately. With meat thawed, I do hope to make something edible later. Chicken gizzards are my top interest. Baked to tenderize, then fried for a crispy exterior, they make a wonderful meal. Oh, dinner is coming tonight, so maybe that for lunch? I need to get some food in, and through me. That will require several meals a day. That will work. Some canned vegetable on the side, just to make mom, and maybe my g.i., happy as well.
I am hoping to find it in me to get back on laundry and dishes. At least set things to soak. Maybe a shower first, as the tub will be blocked until I get the dishes done. It snowed today, the first time I have seen it. It is very light, just sticking to the grass, and barely. The roads did not hold any snow. The sky looks heavy enough for more but it isn't snowing currently, last I looked. So it begins. Later.
.
I was able to get back to bed for a while. No sleep, the gullet is still giving me fits. I also noticed, before going to bed, somewhere out there, that today was the rebound day for daylight savings. We lost an hour this time. So I didn't miss out on that much sleep. I got up just before the 8:00 alarm, which means at 7:00, but the time I had meant to get up. Bleh. A bit of coffee right after this post would surely help.
I called my mother first thing. She was chipper and awake. She is visiting her friend, a farmer, former engineer. She keeps his home in good repair, helps him rearrange it, restore rooms, and cooks him meals while there. She is like his part time wife. No, he won't marry. He got off that wagon long ago and won't be lead, cajoled, pushed, or forced back onto it. Nary a word, save giving my obligatory "this is how I stand on things" speech. He knows, she knows, exactly where I stand. And, I know, it is as good as it gets. I am glad for them, that they have someone helping out, he gets her help, she gets his input and help sometimes, and that is that. I don't bust it up, and wouldn't. Dang kids.
It's always good to hear mother's voice. There are fewer things I have that are constant. Actually she is about it. I don't mind, mostly. I am almost unto myself. Most of you don't know that, never have, probably unless you out live all your friends and family and then live on your own, will never understand. Being bullish helps, and usually I don't even notice. Save once in a while, when I call, and remember. Harsh, at times, but it's good to have a clear, true, understanding of where one stands in the world.
Today? I dunno. With sleep messed up, and innards still knotted if to much less of an extent, and still being a bit messed up with medicines, my goals are very simple lately. With meat thawed, I do hope to make something edible later. Chicken gizzards are my top interest. Baked to tenderize, then fried for a crispy exterior, they make a wonderful meal. Oh, dinner is coming tonight, so maybe that for lunch? I need to get some food in, and through me. That will require several meals a day. That will work. Some canned vegetable on the side, just to make mom, and maybe my g.i., happy as well.
I am hoping to find it in me to get back on laundry and dishes. At least set things to soak. Maybe a shower first, as the tub will be blocked until I get the dishes done. It snowed today, the first time I have seen it. It is very light, just sticking to the grass, and barely. The roads did not hold any snow. The sky looks heavy enough for more but it isn't snowing currently, last I looked. So it begins. Later.
Twisted gut two-step.
.
.
Waking in the middle of the night with my innards all twisted is an unusual event, though when I am eating less I am usually shielded by loss of memory, so who knows. A warning, I suspect. After a bit of fussing, several visits to the lou, most of the problem... hold on... Back. I've worked out, perhaps 2/3 to 3/4 of the binds in there. I had some real food, since I woke, hoping that will help. I had hoped to take care of the problem then go back to bed. It just isn't working out to be that kind of problem.
Dreams and barely awake thoughts have been nagging me, along with my g.i. tract. Well, and the last message I received from the KoC. I don't know which notions are from dreams and which are simply from water closet thoughts. I'll just send them as they stand.
The first was, I get the feeling that women, and perhaps some men, think I am delusional about my prospects for a wife. I think, in another time, they might have been right. I do have little to offer but a small place, a tight budget, and a dominate demeanor. To a strictly modern woman, these things aren't enough. Strictly modern women aren't, however, what are sought as even mates, especially after a certain age.
They join an old maid hen chattering class that wouldn't know a potential husband from a rusted out iron pot, to start. Then they get so built up in their pretty much strictly female relationships that they think they even have some value. Further, to have that value mean anything, anyone who questions that value they have placed on themselves has to be torn down. Plus, they are quite often just plain stupid. Not a clue in the whole hen house. That is not a group of people to go to in order to ascertain marriageable status or value.
The women you need to check with are the women who want a husband and family. In this climate, they are greatly underutilized and underwater. For most men, even the legitimate women in this circle (as if the typical man would know the difference, and by the way, it isn't actually in the women, mostly, but the problem is with emasculated men who don't know how to deal with women), are seen as too risky. Their value has greatly declined. It doesn't matter if a gold bar is said to be worth $100 or $10,000 if you need the money but there are no buyers. Unlike gold, ovaries do not have much of a shelf life. Tick-tock. Marriage is a buyers market now and there aren't that many buyers. As well, I have always had a strong hand, so far age has not devalued what I offer, only enriched it. Not many men can offer a new wife actual wealth, in these days, even if in a limited amount, beyond the grave, or increased income based on children, or a host of other things. Few men, if they have those things and they are subject to loss for the man, are very interested in a wife. For me, it's easy. What I have cannot be taken, only shared as I wish. Women who want marriage are being hung out to dry.
It isn't just men who are abandoning women either. While many still go to college, if they actually think that is to get a start on a career instead of what it was ever truly allowed for, to find a husband, even this is failing. The value of "an education" has been so watered down that it's value to employers has collapsed. For example, to be a barista at Starbucks, a barista mind you, a coffee maker, one needs a bachelor of arts! I suppose next, post hole diggers will need one? Laughable. Further, the job market for 20 somethings is dying, and faster by the day. Part time work to repay student loans? No husband, when they can be found, will pick up that debt on top of the rest of the risk that comes with marriage. So, college is or will be out for younger women, husband material is scarcer than hen's teeth and devolving, and employers are disappearing. That leaves parents and the government, but Uncle Sam just blew his wad and mom and dad simply can't carry that load, won't. Tick-tock, tick-tock, Doom wins... if he can bring himself to look.
Women are not so much out of favor as not valued as wives. No man wants the risks or will deal with a little unchecked tyrant. A man who can and will, and has the mechanics to hold a woman in check as she does honestly prefer, and with the means to do so, is king, baby. I don't have to be, and never claimed to be, the end all be all. All I have to do is be functionally available, alive, and interested, even a bit, along with what I really am, and I beat out competition as a husband with all the men who simply want a little flesh check and maybe breakfast in the morning or who are interested but unworthy. Which, upon easy notice, is most of them. Those 29%ers? The guys who are interested in marriage? Aren't the guys chicks dig. They are the betas, the deltas, the gammas. Ugly, worn, tired, angry, and commanding, I am the real deal. Check and mate.
As to the KoC? They sent out an email suggesting they have put a video together about the new pope, Pope Francis. They aired it, but... didn't get much viewership, so they are airing it again. On CNBC, as before as I read the message. Seriously? You know, there is a Catholic television channel? One, if I am not mistaken, which has recently been stripped of morality programming, save one anti-abortion program but that priest is from the pope's order, go figure. No offense to Father Pacwa, mind you. I do appreciate his service and that cause. Then again, when I went looking for him, I couldn't find his program either, maybe he too has now been axed? Couldn't use that channel, stripped bare as it has been? Had to use one of the most liberal broadcast stations in the nation? Sending a message? I warned you, going secular will go nowhere. Follow Episcopalians and Church of England into the drink if you wish, preaching to the wolves to the detriment of the sheep will get you nowhere and fast. Outreach is fine, abandonment and attack is not. I have already backed out of the Church due to the very humanist secularism of the very pope in question. Now it looks like I will be leaving this group of men as well. If they really want to get some liberal momentum behind this secular humanist, might I suggest a gay spread in Play Girl with a fluff piece by CNN? I'm out.
I will have to figure out Eucharist, once in a while. As well as confession. I doubt if I will do it locally. I will be checking out the places I go for my medical visits. I am not sure, locally, if I am welcome. Nor at any church in which I am known. Yeah, they snoop. Some of the places I will be traveling have multiple churches from which to choose. It will be sort of random, what I can get, when. But... I just won't stay joined or communal with a general community to which I am not in alignment and agreement. I do, however, need the Sacraments. As to charity? I will simply have to find alternatives to the church at large. Sadly, honestly.
Hmm... it seems as if the internal storm is over. Another half hour and I will see myself back to bed if I can. Ugh but there was much to get out tonight, not just of the body. All of it about as sweet smelling as the rest. Purged, and free of the various works of demons, perhaps I can rest.
.
Waking in the middle of the night with my innards all twisted is an unusual event, though when I am eating less I am usually shielded by loss of memory, so who knows. A warning, I suspect. After a bit of fussing, several visits to the lou, most of the problem... hold on... Back. I've worked out, perhaps 2/3 to 3/4 of the binds in there. I had some real food, since I woke, hoping that will help. I had hoped to take care of the problem then go back to bed. It just isn't working out to be that kind of problem.
Dreams and barely awake thoughts have been nagging me, along with my g.i. tract. Well, and the last message I received from the KoC. I don't know which notions are from dreams and which are simply from water closet thoughts. I'll just send them as they stand.
They join an old maid hen chattering class that wouldn't know a potential husband from a rusted out iron pot, to start. Then they get so built up in their pretty much strictly female relationships that they think they even have some value. Further, to have that value mean anything, anyone who questions that value they have placed on themselves has to be torn down. Plus, they are quite often just plain stupid. Not a clue in the whole hen house. That is not a group of people to go to in order to ascertain marriageable status or value.
It isn't just men who are abandoning women either. While many still go to college, if they actually think that is to get a start on a career instead of what it was ever truly allowed for, to find a husband, even this is failing. The value of "an education" has been so watered down that it's value to employers has collapsed. For example, to be a barista at Starbucks, a barista mind you, a coffee maker, one needs a bachelor of arts! I suppose next, post hole diggers will need one? Laughable. Further, the job market for 20 somethings is dying, and faster by the day. Part time work to repay student loans? No husband, when they can be found, will pick up that debt on top of the rest of the risk that comes with marriage. So, college is or will be out for younger women, husband material is scarcer than hen's teeth and devolving, and employers are disappearing. That leaves parents and the government, but Uncle Sam just blew his wad and mom and dad simply can't carry that load, won't. Tick-tock, tick-tock, Doom wins... if he can bring himself to look.
As to the KoC? They sent out an email suggesting they have put a video together about the new pope, Pope Francis. They aired it, but... didn't get much viewership, so they are airing it again. On CNBC, as before as I read the message. Seriously? You know, there is a Catholic television channel? One, if I am not mistaken, which has recently been stripped of morality programming, save one anti-abortion program but that priest is from the pope's order, go figure. No offense to Father Pacwa, mind you. I do appreciate his service and that cause. Then again, when I went looking for him, I couldn't find his program either, maybe he too has now been axed? Couldn't use that channel, stripped bare as it has been? Had to use one of the most liberal broadcast stations in the nation? Sending a message? I warned you, going secular will go nowhere. Follow Episcopalians and Church of England into the drink if you wish, preaching to the wolves to the detriment of the sheep will get you nowhere and fast. Outreach is fine, abandonment and attack is not. I have already backed out of the Church due to the very humanist secularism of the very pope in question. Now it looks like I will be leaving this group of men as well. If they really want to get some liberal momentum behind this secular humanist, might I suggest a gay spread in Play Girl with a fluff piece by CNN? I'm out.
I will have to figure out Eucharist, once in a while. As well as confession. I doubt if I will do it locally. I will be checking out the places I go for my medical visits. I am not sure, locally, if I am welcome. Nor at any church in which I am known. Yeah, they snoop. Some of the places I will be traveling have multiple churches from which to choose. It will be sort of random, what I can get, when. But... I just won't stay joined or communal with a general community to which I am not in alignment and agreement. I do, however, need the Sacraments. As to charity? I will simply have to find alternatives to the church at large. Sadly, honestly.
Hmm... it seems as if the internal storm is over. Another half hour and I will see myself back to bed if I can. Ugh but there was much to get out tonight, not just of the body. All of it about as sweet smelling as the rest. Purged, and free of the various works of demons, perhaps I can rest.
Saturday, November 2, 2013
No haiku, no nap, what to do?
.
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Haiku is off for the week. No fuss, I know that real life can just grab any of us by the scruff and toss us in over our heads. And, one thing leads to another, and it happens. If anything, I offer empathy for those going through that in their own ways. I have been thinking of a little pick-up haiku, like when a basketball game would be canceled due to weather I would try to get a game going locally. I'm thinking about it.
No nap today, thankfully. I am planning to get to bed in an hour or two, then try to get up at the 5:00-6:00 time, with the 8:00 alarm as backup. I just never know if I keep trying. It's been hot, or seemed hot, today. Bagels for breakfast and supper might be the cause, though I don't think so. Still, I've pulled out meat to thaw to try and fix that. I just can't keep up on food well, lately. I had stuff that carried me, and clean pots and pans for a while. I'm out and out. I'll have to figure something out before long.
The next thing I have to be ready for is on the 5th, then the 12th, then the 18th, then December 2nd I believe, then the 16th of that month. Other than that, no big bumps or hurdles and, sadly in a way, I am glad for it. I just can't handle much. I don't even know if I can make those. I have a few days before I reset my medicines. I am thinking about setting up one week as is, then stepping a quarter step up (to 3/4 dose) the following week, then just pushing full dose when I reset. Oh, sure, you might here some yowling and whimpering from my cave. Don't fret. And... this will be it. I will be back to full dose in less than two months... Normally a much longer journey. Just... getting it over with is my game plan. I've certainly had worse, just not in such a way that I remembered it or over such a long course, since I was much younger and healthier, actually. Ha! Those were the days.
.
Haiku is off for the week. No fuss, I know that real life can just grab any of us by the scruff and toss us in over our heads. And, one thing leads to another, and it happens. If anything, I offer empathy for those going through that in their own ways. I have been thinking of a little pick-up haiku, like when a basketball game would be canceled due to weather I would try to get a game going locally. I'm thinking about it.
No nap today, thankfully. I am planning to get to bed in an hour or two, then try to get up at the 5:00-6:00 time, with the 8:00 alarm as backup. I just never know if I keep trying. It's been hot, or seemed hot, today. Bagels for breakfast and supper might be the cause, though I don't think so. Still, I've pulled out meat to thaw to try and fix that. I just can't keep up on food well, lately. I had stuff that carried me, and clean pots and pans for a while. I'm out and out. I'll have to figure something out before long.
The next thing I have to be ready for is on the 5th, then the 12th, then the 18th, then December 2nd I believe, then the 16th of that month. Other than that, no big bumps or hurdles and, sadly in a way, I am glad for it. I just can't handle much. I don't even know if I can make those. I have a few days before I reset my medicines. I am thinking about setting up one week as is, then stepping a quarter step up (to 3/4 dose) the following week, then just pushing full dose when I reset. Oh, sure, you might here some yowling and whimpering from my cave. Don't fret. And... this will be it. I will be back to full dose in less than two months... Normally a much longer journey. Just... getting it over with is my game plan. I've certainly had worse, just not in such a way that I remembered it or over such a long course, since I was much younger and healthier, actually. Ha! Those were the days.
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