.
.
The dishes and laundry were finished. The sander was found, checked, and the cord found... all of it ready to go. But that was it for work. I did make a meal though. I grilled boneless port ribs, and then worked quinoa and cooked that. Alright, when quinoa is done right, it is much better. Two heaving washes, with an half hour soak in the middle. There was no blah soapy taste, it wasn't acidic or whatever. It tasted much as mild grits, where you can't really taste corn. But it isn't as mealy. With the ribs it was truly good. Butter mixed in, a little salt. It's a bit expensive. However, for long term storage, it has all of the goodness of whole grain rice, and more, but will store. Unlike rice or any other similar food. Now I can begin looking for larger batches of that. Oh, did I mention? It is a complete protein, all by itself. But, not being a vegetarian, I wouldn't use it as such unless I had no other choice. Without animal fats, I don't think it would be right. It would simply due in a pinch, for a pinch. One more thing off my list of things to check, and then onto my list to buy.
I will just keep going with the list. Tomorrow I am hoping to be up early enough to sand the workbench, set up the timer and hoses, then do some business in town. Taxes, drivers license, maybe a touch of shopping. Just need to get it out of the way. But that will be about it for the week. I am going to need to back down a bit on the weekend. But I don't just want to sit. Perhaps I can work on the sink, since that will be a mild project, at least to try to set it up and see if it works. As well, I might get the stain 'cooked' and begin applying it. And, perhaps, through the weekend, I might find time to sweep wherever could use it, and maybe mop at least the bathroom. But... that would be it, mostly.
I am doing as well as I can do. Medicine, grooming, home, lawn, garden, prep, and minor improvements and maintenance here and there. Never had it so good, even as mild as it is. Hoping for more. A bit at a time, a little on several to many things each day, prayer at least at night and over each meal... Good night.
Thursday, July 31, 2014
Not fast, but sure enough.
.
.
Took a bit to get going, but after the last post, I reset the dishes and put a load into the washer. I also found the sander, checked the sandpaper, and found the longer extension cord. I then went down for a bit, setting the timer, which I somehow didn't hear, for an hour and an half? Something. When I realized time had flown, I got back to it. I transferred the clothes to the drier. There aren't enough other various types for another load so I dried out the washer (front loaders are a bit finicky), set the drier going, then washed and rinsed the dishes. They are sitting in the rinse now. I'll dry them when I go to get the laundry for folding and whatnot. While messing with the clothes, I noticed Sam, most likely, had made a bit of a mess in one of the hampers, so I washed that out.
I should be able to finish dishes and laundry within a couple of hours, then hit the work bench. Perhaps test the sander on the rain porch supports. After that, a break, and then I will install the pressure limiter on the garden irrigation system, and make a stab at setting up the lawn timer and system. Who knows if I will get it all done. If I can give it all a whirl, I will be happy. I might need a heavier sander for the supports, for one thing. And I may run out of the energy needed to tinker before I finish it all. I'll know before long.
Tomorrow? A lighter day. I found something that might make the kitchen faucet work. A fitting that simply got set aside. I would like to try that, and if it works then put my kitchen sink back together. The only other things I would like to do is to create my workbench finish concoction, then apply that. And sweep and mop around the place. Further, if I get that done, then I will take a jab at wet vacuuming in the kitchen area the day after. And start tearing into my bedroom after that. I may need to sleep in the spare bedroom, as the first thing I want to do is empty my bedroom, then spray for bugs, then steam vacuum, let it dry, and put it all back together before hitting the spare bedroom, then the computer, then living, rooms. Bleh. I might actually get it done in a week or two. Lots of breaks, but a steady hand.
Later.
.
Took a bit to get going, but after the last post, I reset the dishes and put a load into the washer. I also found the sander, checked the sandpaper, and found the longer extension cord. I then went down for a bit, setting the timer, which I somehow didn't hear, for an hour and an half? Something. When I realized time had flown, I got back to it. I transferred the clothes to the drier. There aren't enough other various types for another load so I dried out the washer (front loaders are a bit finicky), set the drier going, then washed and rinsed the dishes. They are sitting in the rinse now. I'll dry them when I go to get the laundry for folding and whatnot. While messing with the clothes, I noticed Sam, most likely, had made a bit of a mess in one of the hampers, so I washed that out.
I should be able to finish dishes and laundry within a couple of hours, then hit the work bench. Perhaps test the sander on the rain porch supports. After that, a break, and then I will install the pressure limiter on the garden irrigation system, and make a stab at setting up the lawn timer and system. Who knows if I will get it all done. If I can give it all a whirl, I will be happy. I might need a heavier sander for the supports, for one thing. And I may run out of the energy needed to tinker before I finish it all. I'll know before long.
Tomorrow? A lighter day. I found something that might make the kitchen faucet work. A fitting that simply got set aside. I would like to try that, and if it works then put my kitchen sink back together. The only other things I would like to do is to create my workbench finish concoction, then apply that. And sweep and mop around the place. Further, if I get that done, then I will take a jab at wet vacuuming in the kitchen area the day after. And start tearing into my bedroom after that. I may need to sleep in the spare bedroom, as the first thing I want to do is empty my bedroom, then spray for bugs, then steam vacuum, let it dry, and put it all back together before hitting the spare bedroom, then the computer, then living, rooms. Bleh. I might actually get it done in a week or two. Lots of breaks, but a steady hand.
Later.
Awake and moving.
.
.
Feeling just a bit better today. I don't think I'll be hitting anything too hard but I am hoping to do a few things. Perhaps a load of laundry, a few dishes I have setting to soak if they do need a fresh soak, setting up the timer and hoses, and sanding the workbench. Sounds like a lot, but if I do the things in parcels, they aren't too much. Hmm, and, just maybe, if I get three of those things done, I'll figure out something a bit special for dinner. Spaghetti and meatballs? Maybe. I have the meat thawed for a special sort of meatball, three meat type. I have never made meatballs before, so...
I'm telling you what, I am glad I started brushing regularly. I thought it was a gimmick, but I can plainly see the difference. I ought to add flossing in, really, and will. One thing at a time, folks. I really do have to add things slowly. Just a month or two of twice daily and it really is making a difference. My teeth, oddly, were in excellent shape even before brushing. Why? Don't ask me silly questions. But my gums were a bit rough. Oh, don't try this at home. You aren't me. You go without brushing for decades and you won't have any teeth, more so as a past street fighter, who drank a case of regular soda a week, or more. Yeah, I like the way of it, now, and even get up to brush if I forget before sleep and remember before falling asleep... just like with medicine.
Medicine has been going down like clockwork. And this week I have started taking my stats. Blood pressure is better, 125/92 this morning, pulse has been in the 60's to 70's range, and blood sugar has been dropping, down to 136 this morning from the 160's at the start of the week. I have had a few sodas, regular sodas, in the last few days. And, yes, that seems to help... once in a while just not regularly. Even so, I am rather bushed. Two trips to town already this week, and a pretty heavy week last week, I suppose I might just be falling out from effort. I will be trying to push to the weekend though. A day off yesterday helped, and yet didn't. I think I am just going to be tired most of the rest of my life. I need to find balance, as much as is possible with a moving capacity target. This is not how my nature works. It is contrary to everything I am. And yet it is what I must tend. So... I will.
Oh, I am adding a label for blogging... daily diary. I might, eventually, when I can't do much else, go back in and assign that to old posts. It'll be posts that are mostly just mundane life ramblings. I hate not having a label, or set of them, for posts. Plus they offer an easier way to find old posts along specific themes, or just wander through.
Laundry, setting up the dishes, then getting my sander and extension cord out. A little break to let the dishes soak and then I'll wash those, another break then deal with the laundry, another break and I'll hit the sanding. Sounds like a plan to me, for starters. I'll figure things out after that. Later, and good day.
.
Feeling just a bit better today. I don't think I'll be hitting anything too hard but I am hoping to do a few things. Perhaps a load of laundry, a few dishes I have setting to soak if they do need a fresh soak, setting up the timer and hoses, and sanding the workbench. Sounds like a lot, but if I do the things in parcels, they aren't too much. Hmm, and, just maybe, if I get three of those things done, I'll figure out something a bit special for dinner. Spaghetti and meatballs? Maybe. I have the meat thawed for a special sort of meatball, three meat type. I have never made meatballs before, so...
I'm telling you what, I am glad I started brushing regularly. I thought it was a gimmick, but I can plainly see the difference. I ought to add flossing in, really, and will. One thing at a time, folks. I really do have to add things slowly. Just a month or two of twice daily and it really is making a difference. My teeth, oddly, were in excellent shape even before brushing. Why? Don't ask me silly questions. But my gums were a bit rough. Oh, don't try this at home. You aren't me. You go without brushing for decades and you won't have any teeth, more so as a past street fighter, who drank a case of regular soda a week, or more. Yeah, I like the way of it, now, and even get up to brush if I forget before sleep and remember before falling asleep... just like with medicine.
Medicine has been going down like clockwork. And this week I have started taking my stats. Blood pressure is better, 125/92 this morning, pulse has been in the 60's to 70's range, and blood sugar has been dropping, down to 136 this morning from the 160's at the start of the week. I have had a few sodas, regular sodas, in the last few days. And, yes, that seems to help... once in a while just not regularly. Even so, I am rather bushed. Two trips to town already this week, and a pretty heavy week last week, I suppose I might just be falling out from effort. I will be trying to push to the weekend though. A day off yesterday helped, and yet didn't. I think I am just going to be tired most of the rest of my life. I need to find balance, as much as is possible with a moving capacity target. This is not how my nature works. It is contrary to everything I am. And yet it is what I must tend. So... I will.
Oh, I am adding a label for blogging... daily diary. I might, eventually, when I can't do much else, go back in and assign that to old posts. It'll be posts that are mostly just mundane life ramblings. I hate not having a label, or set of them, for posts. Plus they offer an easier way to find old posts along specific themes, or just wander through.
Laundry, setting up the dishes, then getting my sander and extension cord out. A little break to let the dishes soak and then I'll wash those, another break then deal with the laundry, another break and I'll hit the sanding. Sounds like a plan to me, for starters. I'll figure things out after that. Later, and good day.
Wednesday, July 30, 2014
Resting but weary.
.
.
Doing well. I just need some downtime. I did pull the trigger on something I have wanted for a while. I ordered Babylon 5, the complete series, the movies, and a branch series about which I was unaware... the Crusades, or some such. I have wanted this for a long time. I have, or had, it on dvd. I simply don't have a dvd player. That and the I didn't have the complete collection, let alone the movies or the extra series. Hmm... I ought to give them to my friend. I think he might enjoy them, and has a dvd player. No loss to me, at this point. If I can find them.
Not this month, but maybe in another month, I am hoping to buy a chronograph. With it I would feel more comfortable reloading. I have many friends who reload, but without using this device. So I know it can be done. One of those friends likes to load very hot, too. I have seen, first hand, what can be done with very little in the way of precaution. Now, for me, it isn't so much about precaution, at this point, as it is about precision. It will help me work up rounds, of several types perhaps, for each caliber. One round for target, perhaps. One round for self-defense. Perhaps even another round for hunting. If I wanted. Really I just want two types of rounds for my pistols, and even any rifle I might use. A load and bullet type for the most accurate and precise self-defense/hunting round, and a heavier penetration round. But I want to work them up and down, crafting as much precision as possible. The problem with this, of course, is availability of specific components. Sure, you can stockpile. But components have a limited lifespan. I have been looking to buy a chronograph for a very long time. I think my reloading friends will enjoy it just as much. The only price of use is... you break it, you buy it.
I doubt if I will get to sanding, but it could happen. And I won't be setting up the timer, most likely. I just don't have anything but a towel to throw in. I wanted to cook something for dinner, but even that is looking improbable. No worries, I knew I was pushing it. And I enjoyed going the extra distance. I got some of my list managed, and enjoyed some company and a couple extra meals this week. I won't knock it or worry. I'll just enjoy my rest unless I can knock something else off my list. There is always tomorrow. It has been a good summer, even with the downtimes. A few hiccups are to be expected. Later.
.
Doing well. I just need some downtime. I did pull the trigger on something I have wanted for a while. I ordered Babylon 5, the complete series, the movies, and a branch series about which I was unaware... the Crusades, or some such. I have wanted this for a long time. I have, or had, it on dvd. I simply don't have a dvd player. That and the I didn't have the complete collection, let alone the movies or the extra series. Hmm... I ought to give them to my friend. I think he might enjoy them, and has a dvd player. No loss to me, at this point. If I can find them.
Not this month, but maybe in another month, I am hoping to buy a chronograph. With it I would feel more comfortable reloading. I have many friends who reload, but without using this device. So I know it can be done. One of those friends likes to load very hot, too. I have seen, first hand, what can be done with very little in the way of precaution. Now, for me, it isn't so much about precaution, at this point, as it is about precision. It will help me work up rounds, of several types perhaps, for each caliber. One round for target, perhaps. One round for self-defense. Perhaps even another round for hunting. If I wanted. Really I just want two types of rounds for my pistols, and even any rifle I might use. A load and bullet type for the most accurate and precise self-defense/hunting round, and a heavier penetration round. But I want to work them up and down, crafting as much precision as possible. The problem with this, of course, is availability of specific components. Sure, you can stockpile. But components have a limited lifespan. I have been looking to buy a chronograph for a very long time. I think my reloading friends will enjoy it just as much. The only price of use is... you break it, you buy it.
I doubt if I will get to sanding, but it could happen. And I won't be setting up the timer, most likely. I just don't have anything but a towel to throw in. I wanted to cook something for dinner, but even that is looking improbable. No worries, I knew I was pushing it. And I enjoyed going the extra distance. I got some of my list managed, and enjoyed some company and a couple extra meals this week. I won't knock it or worry. I'll just enjoy my rest unless I can knock something else off my list. There is always tomorrow. It has been a good summer, even with the downtimes. A few hiccups are to be expected. Later.
A cool day of rest.
.
.
I am pretty much cooked after two days of being out of the house and into town. I did collect my mail. Thankfully. I had forgotten about the extra insecticide I had purchased. The ladies at the post know I am... sorely lacking in 'go' sometimes, and let it stand a little longer, I suspect. I have enough food to last for a while, but still need to get back into town, perhaps Friday or Saturday, for a very quick stop at several shops. Perhaps Friday, as I need to renew my drivers license while I am at things, and deal with property taxes.
I now have enough insecticide for several years of spraying. Every spring, early, then mid-summer spraying, should see me to a much more comfortable existence. I wonder how many preppers even consider that? Without the capacity to clean the home as is now done, without clean easy running water and some other things, something I know a bit if more due to health, bugs will become more of a problem. Well, and people will be at home much more than they are now. Two recipes for reasons to stock up a bit on the stuff, and a sprayer. Toss in livestock, harder work and less capacity to bath, and all else and... yeah... The next time I spray, I will probably buy more of the stuff. It works. But what works for me, here, may not work for you. Stop calling Ortho, or whoever, and learn how to do that yourself. Anyway...
Rest, today. I missed one dose of heart medicine and insulin Monday. And last night I forgot to brush. But in taking my stats the medicine miss didn't seem to cause much disturbance, and surprisingly, my mouth didn't feel too awful this morning. If you fall off, just get back on as quickly and seamlessly as possible, I suppose. Which I did. Sleep was very good, if it was a full nine hours and small change. It took a few minutes for the alarm to register. I was dreaming but have no recall. My stats are fairly good, 130's/90's, blood sugar is a little high, around 160's for the last few days (but lower than the 200 it had been running when last taking insulin and testing), and weight is pretty much the same at 280's.
It's a cool, almost cold, day. I am loving it. If I can get some things together, I might try to use the cool as a day to sand the workbench. I might see if the orbital sander is functional on the porch roof posts, too. And, perhaps, set up the timer and hoses for the lawn. I don't know if the kit I bought will really covers all of the hoses, and even if it does, I will need to move the hoses around between waterings, but I will find out soon enough. If it works, I will stay up late, a night or two, to check them. And check the results once in a while as well, and have them run later at night on into the dark. But the lawn and garden simply have to be watered at different times, due to water pressure limits. Boy am I enjoying the cool though. Not sure how long it is going to last, if I doubt that it will last long. All good... it is summer, you know.
Have a good day.
.
I am pretty much cooked after two days of being out of the house and into town. I did collect my mail. Thankfully. I had forgotten about the extra insecticide I had purchased. The ladies at the post know I am... sorely lacking in 'go' sometimes, and let it stand a little longer, I suspect. I have enough food to last for a while, but still need to get back into town, perhaps Friday or Saturday, for a very quick stop at several shops. Perhaps Friday, as I need to renew my drivers license while I am at things, and deal with property taxes.
I now have enough insecticide for several years of spraying. Every spring, early, then mid-summer spraying, should see me to a much more comfortable existence. I wonder how many preppers even consider that? Without the capacity to clean the home as is now done, without clean easy running water and some other things, something I know a bit if more due to health, bugs will become more of a problem. Well, and people will be at home much more than they are now. Two recipes for reasons to stock up a bit on the stuff, and a sprayer. Toss in livestock, harder work and less capacity to bath, and all else and... yeah... The next time I spray, I will probably buy more of the stuff. It works. But what works for me, here, may not work for you. Stop calling Ortho, or whoever, and learn how to do that yourself. Anyway...
Rest, today. I missed one dose of heart medicine and insulin Monday. And last night I forgot to brush. But in taking my stats the medicine miss didn't seem to cause much disturbance, and surprisingly, my mouth didn't feel too awful this morning. If you fall off, just get back on as quickly and seamlessly as possible, I suppose. Which I did. Sleep was very good, if it was a full nine hours and small change. It took a few minutes for the alarm to register. I was dreaming but have no recall. My stats are fairly good, 130's/90's, blood sugar is a little high, around 160's for the last few days (but lower than the 200 it had been running when last taking insulin and testing), and weight is pretty much the same at 280's.
It's a cool, almost cold, day. I am loving it. If I can get some things together, I might try to use the cool as a day to sand the workbench. I might see if the orbital sander is functional on the porch roof posts, too. And, perhaps, set up the timer and hoses for the lawn. I don't know if the kit I bought will really covers all of the hoses, and even if it does, I will need to move the hoses around between waterings, but I will find out soon enough. If it works, I will stay up late, a night or two, to check them. And check the results once in a while as well, and have them run later at night on into the dark. But the lawn and garden simply have to be watered at different times, due to water pressure limits. Boy am I enjoying the cool though. Not sure how long it is going to last, if I doubt that it will last long. All good... it is summer, you know.
Have a good day.
Tuesday, July 29, 2014
Shooting.
.
.
I couldn't hit crap today. Too tired from yesterday, out of practice, just one of those days. No matter. Practice was needed and had. My friend, his friend, and his friend's son made it to the range, then a burger joint I hadn't visited. It's sort of new to town, as I scale time. It stayed cool throughout the day and shoot, which helped. But I am simply done. Tomorrow will be a day of rest, maybe Thursday too.
I had hoped to make it to the grocery store on the way back, and maybe stop at the coffee shop as well. Nope. Too tired. Then again, I left at about 13:00 and returned just right at 21:00. that is a very long day for me. A bit of coffee to put some life back into my bones so that sleep isn't so dead, a bit of gaming, then to bed by 23:00 or 0:00. Whenever I can get to it. I am hoping I will sleep well, but not too hard. I'll set the alarm for an eight plus one hour sleep, and try to beat the alarm.
It was good to get out. I have set up a cookout for Monday. If they bring libations and salads, I'll get a brisket and slow cook it, was the deal. I should call and see if they like it smoked. I am hoping to cook it for about six to eight hours, starting earlier, and monitoring the heat. At 250, it should do fine. Oh, I might ask them to bring a loaf of bread from the real bread store. That really goes with brisket well. Rye or a mixed wheat variety... perhaps a potato or peasant loaf... something.
Well, that is it for that. Good night.
.
I couldn't hit crap today. Too tired from yesterday, out of practice, just one of those days. No matter. Practice was needed and had. My friend, his friend, and his friend's son made it to the range, then a burger joint I hadn't visited. It's sort of new to town, as I scale time. It stayed cool throughout the day and shoot, which helped. But I am simply done. Tomorrow will be a day of rest, maybe Thursday too.
I had hoped to make it to the grocery store on the way back, and maybe stop at the coffee shop as well. Nope. Too tired. Then again, I left at about 13:00 and returned just right at 21:00. that is a very long day for me. A bit of coffee to put some life back into my bones so that sleep isn't so dead, a bit of gaming, then to bed by 23:00 or 0:00. Whenever I can get to it. I am hoping I will sleep well, but not too hard. I'll set the alarm for an eight plus one hour sleep, and try to beat the alarm.
It was good to get out. I have set up a cookout for Monday. If they bring libations and salads, I'll get a brisket and slow cook it, was the deal. I should call and see if they like it smoked. I am hoping to cook it for about six to eight hours, starting earlier, and monitoring the heat. At 250, it should do fine. Oh, I might ask them to bring a loaf of bread from the real bread store. That really goes with brisket well. Rye or a mixed wheat variety... perhaps a potato or peasant loaf... something.
Well, that is it for that. Good night.
Couldn't go down until late, again.
.
.
I slept very soundly. I missed one dose of medicine yesterday, just... because. I was sort of in a hurry to get going, and out, and... that slipped. It will happen. Not today again, and hopefully not for another couple of weeks or a month. Being a bit cool here, over cast as it was and remains, and with a healthy rain, from the looks of it, sleep was one of those very good things. I was well on my way to remembering a dream. Such wonderful sleep. The phone rang in the middle of my idyllic sleep session.
Usually, even when sleeping, when I get a call I do one of two things. I hide from it, pretend I don't hear it, assuming I really don't miss it, then spend hours of guilt until I get back to whomever it was who called. Or I, which is usually the case, answer it. Happy to receive a call. My reaction today was one of indignation, for reasons I still haven't fathomed. Who could it be, what are they calling regarding, what time is it? It still being dark when I opened my eyes, I felt insulted. Very odd reaction, but reactions, like dreams, are what they are. I couldn't find the phone in time, but did see that it was my mother, and that it wasn't quite 6:00.
Actually, I, after waking just a bit, was pleased with the call, and the timing. While not quite ready to be awake, and probably needing more sleep, I have been wanting to try to wake a little earlier. And, it woke me... a little earlier. It's good to enjoy the early morning cool. Waking earlier allows more day in which to work. I called back when I could figure out which claw to click the phone with, and in which order. Gosh but surprise early wakes can be a bit whacky.
Nothing new. She was just calling back. I had tried to call last night. Oh, did I wake you? Did you wake me? Seriously? I know she enjoys that. She has enjoyed waking me for as long as I have been alive. Cruel, I tell you. Her and my brother were always early to bed, early to rise. I was the black sheep of the family even in this, and they have enjoyed that as much as I enjoyed disturbing their nights. Even two to one, though, I think I won. Never mind. It's just good to talk once in a while, especially when things are going well.
Today? Well, since I am up, I can take a slow approach to figuring that all out. Mostly it will be about another trip to town. A quick stop at the gun shops to check ammunition prices and look for .22 long rifle. Though a few other calibers would be good. I'm still stocking up on .45 and 9 mm. The goal, for each, is about 2k, and for .22 it is about 4k-8k. I'm not far from that in .45, but 9 mm is sort of a new thing, and I have a ways to go for that. I was there with .22 but shot without replacing before I realized I couldn't replace due to lack of availability. I doubt if I have a thousand rounds of .22, and yes, that causes me some worry. Not the type of worry I lose sleep over, but an activating sort of worry. I could fill that, but I simply refuse to pay $120 for 500 of those, and think those who do are extending the problem. I think the .45 and 9 mm are what I will be taking today. It is only supposed to get to 80, as a high. And, perhaps, remain overcast. I am thinking that shooting in the mountains might be cooler yet. And, yes, I am all about cool.
Anything else that might happen to get done, or not, is of minor concern. And tomorrow will probably need to be a day of rest. Unless I am feeling my oats. If so, I will push on but I am not concerning myself with plans, at this point. I will figure out my literal tomorrow when it arrives, depending on how I feel. Ugh, but 6:00? I might need a nap in a few hours. My friend is set to call at 11:00, so if I am going to nap, I will probably do so from 8:00 to 10:00, then get up and shower and pretty much be ready to go. Or... that is the plan if all else works out.
Later.
.
I slept very soundly. I missed one dose of medicine yesterday, just... because. I was sort of in a hurry to get going, and out, and... that slipped. It will happen. Not today again, and hopefully not for another couple of weeks or a month. Being a bit cool here, over cast as it was and remains, and with a healthy rain, from the looks of it, sleep was one of those very good things. I was well on my way to remembering a dream. Such wonderful sleep. The phone rang in the middle of my idyllic sleep session.
Usually, even when sleeping, when I get a call I do one of two things. I hide from it, pretend I don't hear it, assuming I really don't miss it, then spend hours of guilt until I get back to whomever it was who called. Or I, which is usually the case, answer it. Happy to receive a call. My reaction today was one of indignation, for reasons I still haven't fathomed. Who could it be, what are they calling regarding, what time is it? It still being dark when I opened my eyes, I felt insulted. Very odd reaction, but reactions, like dreams, are what they are. I couldn't find the phone in time, but did see that it was my mother, and that it wasn't quite 6:00.
Actually, I, after waking just a bit, was pleased with the call, and the timing. While not quite ready to be awake, and probably needing more sleep, I have been wanting to try to wake a little earlier. And, it woke me... a little earlier. It's good to enjoy the early morning cool. Waking earlier allows more day in which to work. I called back when I could figure out which claw to click the phone with, and in which order. Gosh but surprise early wakes can be a bit whacky.
Nothing new. She was just calling back. I had tried to call last night. Oh, did I wake you? Did you wake me? Seriously? I know she enjoys that. She has enjoyed waking me for as long as I have been alive. Cruel, I tell you. Her and my brother were always early to bed, early to rise. I was the black sheep of the family even in this, and they have enjoyed that as much as I enjoyed disturbing their nights. Even two to one, though, I think I won. Never mind. It's just good to talk once in a while, especially when things are going well.
Today? Well, since I am up, I can take a slow approach to figuring that all out. Mostly it will be about another trip to town. A quick stop at the gun shops to check ammunition prices and look for .22 long rifle. Though a few other calibers would be good. I'm still stocking up on .45 and 9 mm. The goal, for each, is about 2k, and for .22 it is about 4k-8k. I'm not far from that in .45, but 9 mm is sort of a new thing, and I have a ways to go for that. I was there with .22 but shot without replacing before I realized I couldn't replace due to lack of availability. I doubt if I have a thousand rounds of .22, and yes, that causes me some worry. Not the type of worry I lose sleep over, but an activating sort of worry. I could fill that, but I simply refuse to pay $120 for 500 of those, and think those who do are extending the problem. I think the .45 and 9 mm are what I will be taking today. It is only supposed to get to 80, as a high. And, perhaps, remain overcast. I am thinking that shooting in the mountains might be cooler yet. And, yes, I am all about cool.
Anything else that might happen to get done, or not, is of minor concern. And tomorrow will probably need to be a day of rest. Unless I am feeling my oats. If so, I will push on but I am not concerning myself with plans, at this point. I will figure out my literal tomorrow when it arrives, depending on how I feel. Ugh, but 6:00? I might need a nap in a few hours. My friend is set to call at 11:00, so if I am going to nap, I will probably do so from 8:00 to 10:00, then get up and shower and pretty much be ready to go. Or... that is the plan if all else works out.
Later.
Monday, July 28, 2014
No more co-blogging.
.
.
I liked the idea. I went with it for a while. I knew I wasn't a good fit. I don't fit there, or anywhere really. That isn't why I ended the relationship. At this point I simply do not see any benefit to offering council. The time for talking has come and gone. Actually, the die was cast before I was born. Long before I was born. The fruits are simply being borne to emancipation, among other things. The state, the constitutional nation, to which I thought I was born was already ended by the time I was born. The last nails were yet to be pounded into the casket, but the corpse was cold and dead.
At this point, all that remains of hope for the nation is various economics collapses which offer opportunities for rebuilding. The two major problems with those are that most of the people who have the authority to rebuild would be using the blueprints that lead to failure. They don't know any better, and professional believe contrary to reason, history, and tradition, at this point. The other problem is that every crack that opens up for change to the right also opens up a crack to the wrong. Oh, sure, men might decide to override it all. But men strong enough to do so rarely choose to not get ahead while doing that. There is some room for that, but not much. And, populism pays, for politicians and generals alike. Egos, for most men, and gold, trump what is right.
There is no more reason to discuss politics, social impacts and collapse, feminism, religion, or any other thing at this point. It is nearing end game strategies, and for most people, that comes down to surviving a new and terrible paradigm shift. We are still living on great fat, even as our economy and personal wealth decline. The next generation will not be greater. Much of the next generation has been incinerated or never allowed to exist in the first place. Essentially, the next generation will not even be American, save by geography. They are tribal, and will force tribal from the rest. How do you talk around, or about, those things? Especially with people who believe those things are good, somehow?
So... I'll stick to personal blogging. Ignoring much of this matter as well. There is no reason to discuss the reasons or outcomes. I understand that most who have access to a computer, and the education to use it in such a manner as not to be obviously foolish and easily ignored, are also indoctrinated into believe that emancipation, birth control, abortion, and such, are good things. And they do. So I don't bother, save when it comes up for other reasons or just floats through.
Time is short, the clock is ticking. I have not time to discuss reality with people who don't even know what they believe, other than anything that is right or true is, obviously, wrong because Patriarchy, or because ecology, or because science... none of which they could pull out of their ass to save their head being removed from their shoulders. Which it is what the choice is going to end as. Those who can't survive, won't. Even those who can will be up against it. Days? Years? Months? A decade? In time you will see that it was and is and will be... today.
Yeah, I'll still put up my doings, lists of things to do and buy, plans, goals, and efforts. I'll add in my dreams, when I can. I will add music and thoughts about it. But I'm not going to fuss with those who are gone, living in a dead world.
Good night.
.
I liked the idea. I went with it for a while. I knew I wasn't a good fit. I don't fit there, or anywhere really. That isn't why I ended the relationship. At this point I simply do not see any benefit to offering council. The time for talking has come and gone. Actually, the die was cast before I was born. Long before I was born. The fruits are simply being borne to emancipation, among other things. The state, the constitutional nation, to which I thought I was born was already ended by the time I was born. The last nails were yet to be pounded into the casket, but the corpse was cold and dead.
At this point, all that remains of hope for the nation is various economics collapses which offer opportunities for rebuilding. The two major problems with those are that most of the people who have the authority to rebuild would be using the blueprints that lead to failure. They don't know any better, and professional believe contrary to reason, history, and tradition, at this point. The other problem is that every crack that opens up for change to the right also opens up a crack to the wrong. Oh, sure, men might decide to override it all. But men strong enough to do so rarely choose to not get ahead while doing that. There is some room for that, but not much. And, populism pays, for politicians and generals alike. Egos, for most men, and gold, trump what is right.
There is no more reason to discuss politics, social impacts and collapse, feminism, religion, or any other thing at this point. It is nearing end game strategies, and for most people, that comes down to surviving a new and terrible paradigm shift. We are still living on great fat, even as our economy and personal wealth decline. The next generation will not be greater. Much of the next generation has been incinerated or never allowed to exist in the first place. Essentially, the next generation will not even be American, save by geography. They are tribal, and will force tribal from the rest. How do you talk around, or about, those things? Especially with people who believe those things are good, somehow?
So... I'll stick to personal blogging. Ignoring much of this matter as well. There is no reason to discuss the reasons or outcomes. I understand that most who have access to a computer, and the education to use it in such a manner as not to be obviously foolish and easily ignored, are also indoctrinated into believe that emancipation, birth control, abortion, and such, are good things. And they do. So I don't bother, save when it comes up for other reasons or just floats through.
Time is short, the clock is ticking. I have not time to discuss reality with people who don't even know what they believe, other than anything that is right or true is, obviously, wrong because Patriarchy, or because ecology, or because science... none of which they could pull out of their ass to save their head being removed from their shoulders. Which it is what the choice is going to end as. Those who can't survive, won't. Even those who can will be up against it. Days? Years? Months? A decade? In time you will see that it was and is and will be... today.
Yeah, I'll still put up my doings, lists of things to do and buy, plans, goals, and efforts. I'll add in my dreams, when I can. I will add music and thoughts about it. But I'm not going to fuss with those who are gone, living in a dead world.
Good night.
Yes, awake and alive.
.
.
Something is coming back, and at speed. Is there a reason or is it just something that happens as I surface? I don't know but it is profoundly powerful. It is as good as I have ever been since becoming better these last few years, with room for much more. There is almost real life, and corporeal power, just a stone's throw away. I don't know if I will reach it this time, but I am beginning to reach for it even now. It is something I fear.
Why fear? Have you ever considered what we are programmed to do? Of all the big, or little, things, our minds, hearts, and souls or spirits, that of man, nephilim, even those bearing the mark of Cain, are meant to find the tools which they use, then use them. It is what we do. It is a call that underwrites all of our other motives and inspirations. My choice of tools, and call to action, is war. If health returned, I could, as well, become an engineer, a husband and father, even a bit of a farmer on the smaller scale. All of these would be secondary, and would become integrated into my warrior's nature, which is primary. It is what I do, it is tools for this that I seek, and find. A powerful body means a readiness for war. But does readiness mean it is time? That is what I fear.
.
Something is coming back, and at speed. Is there a reason or is it just something that happens as I surface? I don't know but it is profoundly powerful. It is as good as I have ever been since becoming better these last few years, with room for much more. There is almost real life, and corporeal power, just a stone's throw away. I don't know if I will reach it this time, but I am beginning to reach for it even now. It is something I fear.
Why fear? Have you ever considered what we are programmed to do? Of all the big, or little, things, our minds, hearts, and souls or spirits, that of man, nephilim, even those bearing the mark of Cain, are meant to find the tools which they use, then use them. It is what we do. It is a call that underwrites all of our other motives and inspirations. My choice of tools, and call to action, is war. If health returned, I could, as well, become an engineer, a husband and father, even a bit of a farmer on the smaller scale. All of these would be secondary, and would become integrated into my warrior's nature, which is primary. It is what I do, it is tools for this that I seek, and find. A powerful body means a readiness for war. But does readiness mean it is time? That is what I fear.
That worked well enough.
.
.
It's hot out there. To me. Even being overcast. Direct sun would have been much more brutal. This was hard enough. Tomorrow is supposed to be cooler.
I made it to town, and called my friend as I was getting ready for a shower. He thought it would be too hot to shoot today, but as mentioned, passed the notion of shooting tomorrow. I had wanted to make a single run to town. After thinking about things, however, I decided that two runs actually sounded better. Sure, it'll jack me around a bit, and I will need to take a day off. But pushing everything I wanted and needed to do into one trip... Yeah., no. Today was for groceries, the hardware store, and a bite to eat for lunch. Tomorrow will be a day of shooting, perhaps looking over the ammunition availability especially .22 long rifle, and another meal.
I bought a lot more than I had intended at the grocery store. But my freezers are getting a bit bare. I need to put in an order for a hog. They take about three months, which will give me time to be ready. Once that is done, and when picking up the hog, I may, again, investigate a quarter or half of a beef. It's a lot of money but is a lot cheaper than buying it at the store, piecemeal. I have expanded my ability to cook so that I can now use those roasts that would otherwise languish. Not all roasts have to be eaten as roast. Think homemade potted beef! Or even beef and noodles. Same with pork. This time, though, I will ask about the pork feet and brains. Yeah, yeah, shut up. You eat what you eat, I'll eat what I eat.
The hardware store had everything I needed. I was a bit surprised they had bee's wax, but then it isn't uncommon for finishing wood. I'm just new to this whole notion. I bought enough chemicals for several all I need, and then some. And, when I finish the benchtop, I might hit the support beams for the porch, on both sides of the house. I will need to sand those a goodly bit first, but that should be relatively easy. I don't think the orbital sander would work best on those, so... might have to bend my arm around the elbow and buy a belt sander? Gosh, you know how much I hate buying tools. Hmm... and while I am at it, I may pick up my first standard wood plane. When I buy one sort of electric tool, I like also buying something that might fill in for it, in a pinch. It might seem foolish, but I think it will pay. Plus it gives me two tools for the price of three! :p
I hope the pressure regulator works. I did buy a timer kit, with a new water spread bar, a bar I can hook four hoses too. The one I have is leaking terribly. Now, I might work on that bar, figure out if there is something I can fix with it, but as slowly as I do things, I don't want to wait and this kit was just a few dollars more than a kit without the distribution bar. I love being able to do, think, buy, build, and work. Slow as it is going, it is going. Life is slow, difficult, exhausting, but satisfying. I just wish I had a bit more to put in for a bit more out. I'll keep at it.
Groceries are sorted and away. I'll get a cup of coffee in a second, never had one this morning. I got in a hurry. I made it, just didn't drink it! Oh well. At least it is still, by my book, fresh. And I have real cream for it tonight. Such a dessert compared to canned milk. I am running the front and a side hose for an hour. With the cloud cover I can do that early. I am starting to see some green. After those areas are hit, I will move a couple of hoses around in the back and hit those areas too. I feel bad about letting the lawn go like that. I just didn't have a way around the fall. Other than that, the rest of tonight will be resting, gaming, blogging, and just... getting ready for bed and another go at town tomorrow. Later.
.
It's hot out there. To me. Even being overcast. Direct sun would have been much more brutal. This was hard enough. Tomorrow is supposed to be cooler.
I made it to town, and called my friend as I was getting ready for a shower. He thought it would be too hot to shoot today, but as mentioned, passed the notion of shooting tomorrow. I had wanted to make a single run to town. After thinking about things, however, I decided that two runs actually sounded better. Sure, it'll jack me around a bit, and I will need to take a day off. But pushing everything I wanted and needed to do into one trip... Yeah., no. Today was for groceries, the hardware store, and a bite to eat for lunch. Tomorrow will be a day of shooting, perhaps looking over the ammunition availability especially .22 long rifle, and another meal.
I bought a lot more than I had intended at the grocery store. But my freezers are getting a bit bare. I need to put in an order for a hog. They take about three months, which will give me time to be ready. Once that is done, and when picking up the hog, I may, again, investigate a quarter or half of a beef. It's a lot of money but is a lot cheaper than buying it at the store, piecemeal. I have expanded my ability to cook so that I can now use those roasts that would otherwise languish. Not all roasts have to be eaten as roast. Think homemade potted beef! Or even beef and noodles. Same with pork. This time, though, I will ask about the pork feet and brains. Yeah, yeah, shut up. You eat what you eat, I'll eat what I eat.
The hardware store had everything I needed. I was a bit surprised they had bee's wax, but then it isn't uncommon for finishing wood. I'm just new to this whole notion. I bought enough chemicals for several all I need, and then some. And, when I finish the benchtop, I might hit the support beams for the porch, on both sides of the house. I will need to sand those a goodly bit first, but that should be relatively easy. I don't think the orbital sander would work best on those, so... might have to bend my arm around the elbow and buy a belt sander? Gosh, you know how much I hate buying tools. Hmm... and while I am at it, I may pick up my first standard wood plane. When I buy one sort of electric tool, I like also buying something that might fill in for it, in a pinch. It might seem foolish, but I think it will pay. Plus it gives me two tools for the price of three! :p
I hope the pressure regulator works. I did buy a timer kit, with a new water spread bar, a bar I can hook four hoses too. The one I have is leaking terribly. Now, I might work on that bar, figure out if there is something I can fix with it, but as slowly as I do things, I don't want to wait and this kit was just a few dollars more than a kit without the distribution bar. I love being able to do, think, buy, build, and work. Slow as it is going, it is going. Life is slow, difficult, exhausting, but satisfying. I just wish I had a bit more to put in for a bit more out. I'll keep at it.
Groceries are sorted and away. I'll get a cup of coffee in a second, never had one this morning. I got in a hurry. I made it, just didn't drink it! Oh well. At least it is still, by my book, fresh. And I have real cream for it tonight. Such a dessert compared to canned milk. I am running the front and a side hose for an hour. With the cloud cover I can do that early. I am starting to see some green. After those areas are hit, I will move a couple of hoses around in the back and hit those areas too. I feel bad about letting the lawn go like that. I just didn't have a way around the fall. Other than that, the rest of tonight will be resting, gaming, blogging, and just... getting ready for bed and another go at town tomorrow. Later.
Down late.
.
.
Just couldn't go down. Some of it is that it is so sexy being in a cave that is actually beginning to look a lot different. Clutter is going away and the visual horizon is opening. And I didn't do much work this weekend, so probably had a bit of pent up energy. Though, too, that energy, and it's use, is getting away from me. What? As well as having too little energy and too many things to do, I am suspecting that I am hitting too much energy and too little capacity to use it. My physical body isn't in the type of shape to use what I am having on tap. If it weren't summer, this would be a good time to begin working out... to begin stretching and shaping my physical form. Then again, perhaps, this coming payday, I might try to create that diy swamp cooler. I don't really need it in the house, though if I make it I might try it here too. But the garage? Where my bench and weights are? Yeah, it might help there. Even being a detached garage, the way it was built makes it rather cool even without that. A thick cement slab for a foundation, and cover, helps.
Going down late did make waking difficult. It was overcast, so cooler, this morning. That also sort of stifles an early, and quick, rise. On the good side, a trip to town is much more possible. Maybe even for some shooting. I didn't call my friend last evening so I will give him a call shortly. Right after I create my list of things to buy. Okay, purchase list done, plus another timer, one with two hose attachments. Timers really help, if I still need to check on things.
While a day shopping, and shooting, isn't a work day, it isn't just sitting around either. And it is out! I do like to get out, when I can. Oh... right, before coffee, brushing, or anything else (other than feeding the girls and blogging, because I forgot), I'll take and register my stats. Today is a new day, and a beginning of what I had been doing well for a very long time. Back into life, almost. I might not be winning, as the world sees it, only in my mind and time and within a very little existence, but I will take that. Later.
.
Just couldn't go down. Some of it is that it is so sexy being in a cave that is actually beginning to look a lot different. Clutter is going away and the visual horizon is opening. And I didn't do much work this weekend, so probably had a bit of pent up energy. Though, too, that energy, and it's use, is getting away from me. What? As well as having too little energy and too many things to do, I am suspecting that I am hitting too much energy and too little capacity to use it. My physical body isn't in the type of shape to use what I am having on tap. If it weren't summer, this would be a good time to begin working out... to begin stretching and shaping my physical form. Then again, perhaps, this coming payday, I might try to create that diy swamp cooler. I don't really need it in the house, though if I make it I might try it here too. But the garage? Where my bench and weights are? Yeah, it might help there. Even being a detached garage, the way it was built makes it rather cool even without that. A thick cement slab for a foundation, and cover, helps.
Going down late did make waking difficult. It was overcast, so cooler, this morning. That also sort of stifles an early, and quick, rise. On the good side, a trip to town is much more possible. Maybe even for some shooting. I didn't call my friend last evening so I will give him a call shortly. Right after I create my list of things to buy. Okay, purchase list done, plus another timer, one with two hose attachments. Timers really help, if I still need to check on things.
While a day shopping, and shooting, isn't a work day, it isn't just sitting around either. And it is out! I do like to get out, when I can. Oh... right, before coffee, brushing, or anything else (other than feeding the girls and blogging, because I forgot), I'll take and register my stats. Today is a new day, and a beginning of what I had been doing well for a very long time. Back into life, almost. I might not be winning, as the world sees it, only in my mind and time and within a very little existence, but I will take that. Later.
Sunday, July 27, 2014
Good, for a day of rest.
.
.
Daily dailies... medicine, brushing teeth, feeding the girls, tending their litter... To be expected but not always possible. The only thing I seem to be able to guarantee is feeding the girls, and keeping their water bowl full. Sometimes that is all my life hangs upon. But today, and for the last week and change, an almost full regiment of dailies. This week I am hoping to add morning vitals. The kitchen table is well cleared enough for that. Weight, blood pressure, and blood sugar, first thing, before coffee and brushing. Well, that's the plan.
I did straighten my desktop. It's not perfect. There are things I still need to sort. But I can see most of the surface. Some of it I will never see, due to a lamp, the computer, and some other gear that belongs. I can clean and clear more, but as with the kitchen table, I've hit a spot where I don't know what else to do. For now. I also tinkered in several other spots. The footrest could now be used, tools, gear, and equipment were sorted and some of that put up, and the coffee table just has outdoor gear and books, but is otherwise straightened. I watered the front and a different part of the side lawn and looked the garden over. It looks like I lost all of the small pepper plants and one of the big plants. That leaves me with five to six tomato plants and two jalapeno plants. The ones that are surviving look to be, at this point, a bit over-watered, but otherwise with some hope to them. Two of the tomato plants have tomatoes on, and those look much better with a bit of water. So I will give them two to three days before watering again. As I mentioned, I need to get a new water pressure limiter. The one I have simply doesn't work. I should have enough time to buy that and get it installed before the garden needs watered again.
From all else I have been doing, I had plenty of trash to take out this time. Much of it packing material from orders over the past six months, perhaps year. I got that together and out to the curb. I took some recycling out, but had a number of boxes outside, two of them rather large, that needed to be ripped down and stuffed in. Luckily there was room. But just. The half dozen or so little boxes inside will have to wait until next recycling day.
Oh, and a little parting gift for a friend who is going away for a while. What else would someone like me offer but tools? Hey, don't knock it. Tools aren't anything, they are everything. The first sits between the ears, the rest can be more complicated but are sorely missed when not available. Plus I am going to give up one of my very own tools... My little flashlight. I did order another, as a replacement, but while the other tools will (so it was stated) be hear Tuesday, the little flashlight seems to take 12-18 days, or something. And time is short. I ordered a multitool, with assorted fittings for it. A leatherman, the very one I want but have been too cheap to buy, for myself, so far. I just hate seeing peeps go out there without the right gear.
A little bit of music then on to bed. Tomorrow? Hmm, actually yet tonight... a call. I need to see how my friend is doing and what he is up to, then maybe schedule a day out, even if it is just shopping. I guess I will more plot the week, and let things fall out from there. Tomorrow, the back yard will be watered again, for an hour. I will skip the front yard for a few days. But the side, and back, actually, both need more. I need to get in to town, no matter what else. Groceries and the hardware store. I'll have to remember to put the list into my phone. And, more cleaning, clearing, tossing, and straightening. This week will be a bit lighter, though, with a couple of rest days. The heavy days will be heavier though. It's just gotta be.
Good night.
.
Daily dailies... medicine, brushing teeth, feeding the girls, tending their litter... To be expected but not always possible. The only thing I seem to be able to guarantee is feeding the girls, and keeping their water bowl full. Sometimes that is all my life hangs upon. But today, and for the last week and change, an almost full regiment of dailies. This week I am hoping to add morning vitals. The kitchen table is well cleared enough for that. Weight, blood pressure, and blood sugar, first thing, before coffee and brushing. Well, that's the plan.
I did straighten my desktop. It's not perfect. There are things I still need to sort. But I can see most of the surface. Some of it I will never see, due to a lamp, the computer, and some other gear that belongs. I can clean and clear more, but as with the kitchen table, I've hit a spot where I don't know what else to do. For now. I also tinkered in several other spots. The footrest could now be used, tools, gear, and equipment were sorted and some of that put up, and the coffee table just has outdoor gear and books, but is otherwise straightened. I watered the front and a different part of the side lawn and looked the garden over. It looks like I lost all of the small pepper plants and one of the big plants. That leaves me with five to six tomato plants and two jalapeno plants. The ones that are surviving look to be, at this point, a bit over-watered, but otherwise with some hope to them. Two of the tomato plants have tomatoes on, and those look much better with a bit of water. So I will give them two to three days before watering again. As I mentioned, I need to get a new water pressure limiter. The one I have simply doesn't work. I should have enough time to buy that and get it installed before the garden needs watered again.
From all else I have been doing, I had plenty of trash to take out this time. Much of it packing material from orders over the past six months, perhaps year. I got that together and out to the curb. I took some recycling out, but had a number of boxes outside, two of them rather large, that needed to be ripped down and stuffed in. Luckily there was room. But just. The half dozen or so little boxes inside will have to wait until next recycling day.
Oh, and a little parting gift for a friend who is going away for a while. What else would someone like me offer but tools? Hey, don't knock it. Tools aren't anything, they are everything. The first sits between the ears, the rest can be more complicated but are sorely missed when not available. Plus I am going to give up one of my very own tools... My little flashlight. I did order another, as a replacement, but while the other tools will (so it was stated) be hear Tuesday, the little flashlight seems to take 12-18 days, or something. And time is short. I ordered a multitool, with assorted fittings for it. A leatherman, the very one I want but have been too cheap to buy, for myself, so far. I just hate seeing peeps go out there without the right gear.
A little bit of music then on to bed. Tomorrow? Hmm, actually yet tonight... a call. I need to see how my friend is doing and what he is up to, then maybe schedule a day out, even if it is just shopping. I guess I will more plot the week, and let things fall out from there. Tomorrow, the back yard will be watered again, for an hour. I will skip the front yard for a few days. But the side, and back, actually, both need more. I need to get in to town, no matter what else. Groceries and the hardware store. I'll have to remember to put the list into my phone. And, more cleaning, clearing, tossing, and straightening. This week will be a bit lighter, though, with a couple of rest days. The heavy days will be heavier though. It's just gotta be.
Good night.
Well? Indeed.
.
.
I am already nearly rested. I could do work again. However, I do want to take today as a mostly restful day. There are a few things I will do, as noted, and perhaps a few extras. But I will keep it light. I know that having worked a five day week tired me sorely. I know that I have another five day week planned. If I want it then I need to be restful on the weekend. I do much better, with finer detail and more strength and purpose if I rest. I guess I am a bit surprised that I am doing this well is all.
I figured something out. A minor household thing. I can't always get the trash out in a timely fashion. Often there isn't all that much in there, anyway. And yet that little bit that is in there can become a huge problem over time. Smells and bugs. Especially in the heat of summer. Even so, it is very difficult to distract from other tasks in taking care of it, using energy that is so scarce, or simply not having the energy or function available to deal with it. So? So I realized, if I put three or four bags in the trash container, if things get bad, I can easily close one of the bags, even if only a quarter full, to cut on most of the problem, tying it down so as to keep the remaining room in the container open for more. It seems like a waste of bags, but... not really. By volume, I suppose. But most people go through much more trash, and bags, than I ever could. I will do that with recycling too. Cat food tins get nasty fast. Organization? Something like that. When a notion hits me, and my eyes and mind open to it, it seems to be more than just a thought. It isn't just a doorway, but a doorway to many, now open, other doors. Oh, and I think I will get a larger trash container for in the computer, and maybe living, room. Sure, it's ugly, but that is easy to fix should visitors call, I don't care for myself (mostly), but it would sure take care of some problems and help me keep up. They would mostly be filled with paper, so I wouldn't have to fuss much with them until they were quite full. More doors.
I am cooking rice, again, as I speak. I have a couple of pork chops thawed which will go swell together. I'll have to see if there are any vegetables. With the freezer, now, I should start stocking up on frozen. They are generally better quality. Just for shorter term use, in the prepping thing, as I don't count on electricity in a real scenario. Still, a dozen bags of various veggies would be nice and would last a month or three, as rarities, but nice ones on occasion. Tomorrow I might hit up quinoa again. It's a bit acidic, or something, but tasty too. Now that I can really clean the seeds really well without losing them they actually taste fairly good. I don't buy the whole superfood notion, mind you. Superfood is actually homemade food someone else made at home for you, and a few very special dishes liked because they are so good. Actually, all food that is tasty is superfood. It's more a matter of how well it works nutritionally, for your body style, metabolism, caloric burn rates, and such, that is of concern. If you want to eat so that you don't age and still die horrible, might I suggest lead? At speed, makes it quick. The rest is fiction. :) Hmm, I think I will have a bowl of some of the rice right now. While the chops cook.
After that, I will hit my desktop, a footstool that has become a secondary desktop and tool bench, and then the coffee table in the living room. If all goes well, I might dig through my hiking pack, and make sure I have that squared. A hike might be closer than I imagine. Right after getting my friend out to shoot, probably some morning. The afternoons are just a bit too warm almost all the way to darkness. Though... I don't know. I'll call him later this afternoon and see about making plans. Later.
.
I am already nearly rested. I could do work again. However, I do want to take today as a mostly restful day. There are a few things I will do, as noted, and perhaps a few extras. But I will keep it light. I know that having worked a five day week tired me sorely. I know that I have another five day week planned. If I want it then I need to be restful on the weekend. I do much better, with finer detail and more strength and purpose if I rest. I guess I am a bit surprised that I am doing this well is all.
I figured something out. A minor household thing. I can't always get the trash out in a timely fashion. Often there isn't all that much in there, anyway. And yet that little bit that is in there can become a huge problem over time. Smells and bugs. Especially in the heat of summer. Even so, it is very difficult to distract from other tasks in taking care of it, using energy that is so scarce, or simply not having the energy or function available to deal with it. So? So I realized, if I put three or four bags in the trash container, if things get bad, I can easily close one of the bags, even if only a quarter full, to cut on most of the problem, tying it down so as to keep the remaining room in the container open for more. It seems like a waste of bags, but... not really. By volume, I suppose. But most people go through much more trash, and bags, than I ever could. I will do that with recycling too. Cat food tins get nasty fast. Organization? Something like that. When a notion hits me, and my eyes and mind open to it, it seems to be more than just a thought. It isn't just a doorway, but a doorway to many, now open, other doors. Oh, and I think I will get a larger trash container for in the computer, and maybe living, room. Sure, it's ugly, but that is easy to fix should visitors call, I don't care for myself (mostly), but it would sure take care of some problems and help me keep up. They would mostly be filled with paper, so I wouldn't have to fuss much with them until they were quite full. More doors.
I am cooking rice, again, as I speak. I have a couple of pork chops thawed which will go swell together. I'll have to see if there are any vegetables. With the freezer, now, I should start stocking up on frozen. They are generally better quality. Just for shorter term use, in the prepping thing, as I don't count on electricity in a real scenario. Still, a dozen bags of various veggies would be nice and would last a month or three, as rarities, but nice ones on occasion. Tomorrow I might hit up quinoa again. It's a bit acidic, or something, but tasty too. Now that I can really clean the seeds really well without losing them they actually taste fairly good. I don't buy the whole superfood notion, mind you. Superfood is actually homemade food someone else made at home for you, and a few very special dishes liked because they are so good. Actually, all food that is tasty is superfood. It's more a matter of how well it works nutritionally, for your body style, metabolism, caloric burn rates, and such, that is of concern. If you want to eat so that you don't age and still die horrible, might I suggest lead? At speed, makes it quick. The rest is fiction. :) Hmm, I think I will have a bowl of some of the rice right now. While the chops cook.
After that, I will hit my desktop, a footstool that has become a secondary desktop and tool bench, and then the coffee table in the living room. If all goes well, I might dig through my hiking pack, and make sure I have that squared. A hike might be closer than I imagine. Right after getting my friend out to shoot, probably some morning. The afternoons are just a bit too warm almost all the way to darkness. Though... I don't know. I'll call him later this afternoon and see about making plans. Later.
Rest was needed.
.
.
And so it is being had. The good side is that I see the need as being relatively short term. I am actually already feeling better from resting. I am almost itching to get back at things. I may do very minor tinkering today. My desktop, perhaps sanding the workbench, and watering the lawn. The garden has enough water. I won't water that, again, for two days, most likely, perhaps three. And, when I go to town, I will be purchasing a new water pressure regulator. The one in my system simply doesn't work. I have to go to the hardware store anyway, and it isn't a pricey piece.
Coffee, just a bit of waking time, then probably on to gaming. Perhaps sanding in a couple of hours. That shouldn't be a major task. After a rest from that, then on to clearing my desk, and maybe the coffee table in the living room... things I can do while seated, at a leisurely pace. I can't really water the lawn until 20:00-20:30, as I see things. One more watering out there, then maybe hitting some of the 'corners' of the yard that have been missed, in the next few days, and then starting a two or three time a week watering schedule. I simply don't have enough timers for the lawn and garden, though I might fix that, or start on that.
I do feel a bit trapped. When I have the energy, I feel the need to move, do, work, and play. But I always seem to overdo. I don't know, quite, how to moderate. Because of how my health is, that might, literally, not be possible. The target, goal posts, limits and my capacity to do, to heal from doing, and such, are all in constant drastic flux. What I could do, easily, yesterday, I might not be able to do today. It reminds me of what it must be like to be a the ball in a pinball game. When the quarter is in, it's all about being battered until you drop. But once in play, control isn't always to be had. Oh, there IS a glass ceiling, but that isn't what should concern you. Trapped. Still, it's nice to be able to put some points on the board again.
Later.
.
And so it is being had. The good side is that I see the need as being relatively short term. I am actually already feeling better from resting. I am almost itching to get back at things. I may do very minor tinkering today. My desktop, perhaps sanding the workbench, and watering the lawn. The garden has enough water. I won't water that, again, for two days, most likely, perhaps three. And, when I go to town, I will be purchasing a new water pressure regulator. The one in my system simply doesn't work. I have to go to the hardware store anyway, and it isn't a pricey piece.
Coffee, just a bit of waking time, then probably on to gaming. Perhaps sanding in a couple of hours. That shouldn't be a major task. After a rest from that, then on to clearing my desk, and maybe the coffee table in the living room... things I can do while seated, at a leisurely pace. I can't really water the lawn until 20:00-20:30, as I see things. One more watering out there, then maybe hitting some of the 'corners' of the yard that have been missed, in the next few days, and then starting a two or three time a week watering schedule. I simply don't have enough timers for the lawn and garden, though I might fix that, or start on that.
Later.
Saturday, July 26, 2014
Yeah, well, maybe a bit more rest.
.
.
I had hoped to get some things done today, and will, am. Just not as much as I had hoped. This week was as close to a sprint as I can get. I am pretty zapped. I did a few small things here in the house, then set up the garden for automatic watering then rearranged a hose to spray a remaining part of the lawn. I will hit the front and back yard right were they got hit yesterday again today. This is the first time at trying to set the garden to automatically water the garden, so I have a timer set for shortly after it starts. I will check on it, making adjustments or fixes as necessary.
Most of my day has been used to rest. I need rest, badly. I didn't really want to mess with watering, I just must do that. I can't fix what is wrong, but I can change behavior today and onward, for as long as I can. And so I do. I doubt if much will happen tomorrow, either. And it is hot out there. No raking, no more work save watering, until I can catch my breath.
Medicines have been being taken like clockwork. It's been almost a week and a half since I straightened out the mess of hit and miss on that. It does help, sometimes. When it isn't hurting. I suspected I wouldn't be working quite as quickly as I did, so perhaps I am finally hitting that wall I thought I would hit right off the bat. No worries. I'll just take rest when required, getting back into the game when possible.
A few side projects I will be researching, or one at least, is getting the drip irrigation situated so that I can water the hanging baskets. If I do that, I will buy more flowers for those, if need be. It does look like the ones that are there are dead. Another day, and watering, will let me know for certain. I really liked the bluish purple flowers too. Little things, but such vibrant color. I'm not a great fan of growy things you can't eat, but even I was impressed. I... liked those. A lot. I'll do some research before going back to resting. I probably have everything needed, probably. I just don't quite know how to set it up for over the house, and up and around the porch roof line.
I did make rice. Adding canned tuna and cheese to some, eating the rest of it just with butter and salt. And I did straighten the floor freezer. I'm getting low. I really need to order another hog, and contemplate a side or quarter of beef. Well, and begin looking for someone that raises lamb. I don't see a lot of fowl being raised out here, currently, otherwise I would look for duck, goose, maybe even chicken. It isn't about the local movement, a fad really, as literally marrying to the land and people I live on and with. I avoid the term organic with a passion, and for good reason. It is wasteful in product and offers no guaranteed value nutritionally or through eliminating the use of "bad things". But I will buy local, otherwise, when the option is available. If I had more energy, I would fish, too. Putting up a small group for the winter, while providing meals through the spring and into fall, could help the bottom line and with food I do enjoy. Perhaps in time, if I won't hold my breath.
On to gaming, and resting... before checking the garden watering automation. Later.
.
I had hoped to get some things done today, and will, am. Just not as much as I had hoped. This week was as close to a sprint as I can get. I am pretty zapped. I did a few small things here in the house, then set up the garden for automatic watering then rearranged a hose to spray a remaining part of the lawn. I will hit the front and back yard right were they got hit yesterday again today. This is the first time at trying to set the garden to automatically water the garden, so I have a timer set for shortly after it starts. I will check on it, making adjustments or fixes as necessary.
Most of my day has been used to rest. I need rest, badly. I didn't really want to mess with watering, I just must do that. I can't fix what is wrong, but I can change behavior today and onward, for as long as I can. And so I do. I doubt if much will happen tomorrow, either. And it is hot out there. No raking, no more work save watering, until I can catch my breath.
Medicines have been being taken like clockwork. It's been almost a week and a half since I straightened out the mess of hit and miss on that. It does help, sometimes. When it isn't hurting. I suspected I wouldn't be working quite as quickly as I did, so perhaps I am finally hitting that wall I thought I would hit right off the bat. No worries. I'll just take rest when required, getting back into the game when possible.
A few side projects I will be researching, or one at least, is getting the drip irrigation situated so that I can water the hanging baskets. If I do that, I will buy more flowers for those, if need be. It does look like the ones that are there are dead. Another day, and watering, will let me know for certain. I really liked the bluish purple flowers too. Little things, but such vibrant color. I'm not a great fan of growy things you can't eat, but even I was impressed. I... liked those. A lot. I'll do some research before going back to resting. I probably have everything needed, probably. I just don't quite know how to set it up for over the house, and up and around the porch roof line.
I did make rice. Adding canned tuna and cheese to some, eating the rest of it just with butter and salt. And I did straighten the floor freezer. I'm getting low. I really need to order another hog, and contemplate a side or quarter of beef. Well, and begin looking for someone that raises lamb. I don't see a lot of fowl being raised out here, currently, otherwise I would look for duck, goose, maybe even chicken. It isn't about the local movement, a fad really, as literally marrying to the land and people I live on and with. I avoid the term organic with a passion, and for good reason. It is wasteful in product and offers no guaranteed value nutritionally or through eliminating the use of "bad things". But I will buy local, otherwise, when the option is available. If I had more energy, I would fish, too. Putting up a small group for the winter, while providing meals through the spring and into fall, could help the bottom line and with food I do enjoy. Perhaps in time, if I won't hold my breath.
On to gaming, and resting... before checking the garden watering automation. Later.
Friday, is it.
.
.
I had thought yesterday was Thursday. Toward the end of the day, however, I started to wonder. Someone put up their ritual music for Friday. Of course, putting it up early isn't a bad choice. And I was up late. Between finishing the watering, and coming down from a long day, and week really so far, I wasn't tucked away until right at midnight. Sleep didn't creep up on me, or need to be coaxed. It was more akin to being blindsided by a bus, only waking up from the impact was much smoother and painless.
I indicate, at times, that I enjoy pain. It does have it's uses, but it is to be endured. And, at times, sought in order to progress. Hmm, no, pain isn't actually sought, even then. But it will happen, so it is confused with what is sought. In any case, as I come out of my most recent spell, I have been going more slowly. I'm not yet ready to push into pain. And I haven't been. And yet I have been able to cut a decent piece of pie from my want to do list. All good, for now. Another week or two, at this level, and I might be able, willing, interested, in digging that bit deeper. Hopefully with a clean, neat, cave in which to tend the pain. I need to go there, from time to time, for a number of reasons. As I can. And I want to go there. Always have. I'm just not quite ready. I think of minor caused pains, from strengthening and growing rightly, as the pop quizzes for the life I know. You should see the finals! Oh, yes, those are going to hurt. And the ph. d. presentation? Yeah. So, I best dig in when I can.
I'll have to figure out what I am doing today. Since it isn't Saturday, continuing to work at an upper level seems fair. I will definitely do sweeping, some vacuuming, and mopping, plus go ahead with the calking if I get to that point. And more straightening. If I can get that stuff mostly done this morning, I might try to make it to the store this afternoon. It's been a while since I have been out. And, as a last thing, this evening, I might give the yard, and especially the areas that weren't hit, more water... along with the garden. I think I can water the garden earlier, as the sun is pretty much clear from that by 17:00 or so. Then I can water the grass two, maybe three, hours after that, and be done an hour earlier than I was last night.
That would take care of what I had planned to do Saturday. So, instead, on Saturday, I might get out the rake and wheelbarrow and remove branches in the yard, and hit a couple of areas with the weedeater. A nice outside job. If done early enough, it won't be too hot. Then rest, as with Sunday, though along with some minor, sitting, tending of minor areas, like my desktop. Oh, and perhaps, somewhere in there, sanding the bench top. Because if I make it to town this afternoon, I will be buying some goop for the bench along with the groceries I need. I will also be making some calls and arranging some visits for next week. A day at the range would be good, in the morning or later in the day. A social call, with guns. And perhaps another sort of social call. As my home tips more to being in shape the notion of having a visitor becomes more reasonable.
It almost sounds like too much. But I think I can do most, very possibly all, of it... and maybe more. I just have to do it a bit at a time, taking breaks, and keeping on it. Later.
--------
Scratch that, it is Saturday. Just waking, and misinterpreting bloggers "day". Which is "from - to", not the exact day. Not quite as heavy of a day, but the sweeping, mopping, toilet maintenance, and sanding, I believe. And maybe a trip to town, and watering of things. If I hold out. Light work tomorrow, very light, though with one more watering session.
.
I had thought yesterday was Thursday. Toward the end of the day, however, I started to wonder. Someone put up their ritual music for Friday. Of course, putting it up early isn't a bad choice. And I was up late. Between finishing the watering, and coming down from a long day, and week really so far, I wasn't tucked away until right at midnight. Sleep didn't creep up on me, or need to be coaxed. It was more akin to being blindsided by a bus, only waking up from the impact was much smoother and painless.
I indicate, at times, that I enjoy pain. It does have it's uses, but it is to be endured. And, at times, sought in order to progress. Hmm, no, pain isn't actually sought, even then. But it will happen, so it is confused with what is sought. In any case, as I come out of my most recent spell, I have been going more slowly. I'm not yet ready to push into pain. And I haven't been. And yet I have been able to cut a decent piece of pie from my want to do list. All good, for now. Another week or two, at this level, and I might be able, willing, interested, in digging that bit deeper. Hopefully with a clean, neat, cave in which to tend the pain. I need to go there, from time to time, for a number of reasons. As I can. And I want to go there. Always have. I'm just not quite ready. I think of minor caused pains, from strengthening and growing rightly, as the pop quizzes for the life I know. You should see the finals! Oh, yes, those are going to hurt. And the ph. d. presentation? Yeah. So, I best dig in when I can.
I'll have to figure out what I am doing today. Since it isn't Saturday, continuing to work at an upper level seems fair. I will definitely do sweeping, some vacuuming, and mopping, plus go ahead with the calking if I get to that point. And more straightening. If I can get that stuff mostly done this morning, I might try to make it to the store this afternoon. It's been a while since I have been out. And, as a last thing, this evening, I might give the yard, and especially the areas that weren't hit, more water... along with the garden. I think I can water the garden earlier, as the sun is pretty much clear from that by 17:00 or so. Then I can water the grass two, maybe three, hours after that, and be done an hour earlier than I was last night.
That would take care of what I had planned to do Saturday. So, instead, on Saturday, I might get out the rake and wheelbarrow and remove branches in the yard, and hit a couple of areas with the weedeater. A nice outside job. If done early enough, it won't be too hot. Then rest, as with Sunday, though along with some minor, sitting, tending of minor areas, like my desktop. Oh, and perhaps, somewhere in there, sanding the bench top. Because if I make it to town this afternoon, I will be buying some goop for the bench along with the groceries I need. I will also be making some calls and arranging some visits for next week. A day at the range would be good, in the morning or later in the day. A social call, with guns. And perhaps another sort of social call. As my home tips more to being in shape the notion of having a visitor becomes more reasonable.
It almost sounds like too much. But I think I can do most, very possibly all, of it... and maybe more. I just have to do it a bit at a time, taking breaks, and keeping on it. Later.
--------
Scratch that, it is Saturday. Just waking, and misinterpreting bloggers "day". Which is "from - to", not the exact day. Not quite as heavy of a day, but the sweeping, mopping, toilet maintenance, and sanding, I believe. And maybe a trip to town, and watering of things. If I hold out. Light work tomorrow, very light, though with one more watering session.
Friday, July 25, 2014
Not bad, not at all.
.
.
Keeping right on things. I had to move a couple of the hoses and sprinklers and run them another hour. I still didn't get all of the lawn. It's a start. The garden was well watered, and the flowers were watered earlier. I didn't have enough spunk to do much in the kitchen, definitely not a sweep. Instead I did the little bit of organizing and cleaning of it, and then collected cardboard boxes and the hoses and other discard from the old reverse osmosis system. I am over-done. I am just finishing up a spot in my game. I've been doing that when I need rest or when the time isn't right to work.
Tomorrow? I can't remember what I had planned, but, if it is Saturday as I suspect, then I will try to keep it light. I want to scrub the bathroom floor, but if I do that then I want to hit the kitchen floor, which means sweeping before mopping. Bleh. But, that is a part of it. When the bathroom is mopped, then I can calk around the toilet. The problem is, the toilet butts right up against the wall, or very close. I'll have to see what I can do. Perhaps I can use a putty knife to work it in? Don't know, will have to see when I get to that point. It's good to know I'm not a pure man-pig though. It's just, I guess, how toilets work. Calking? Who knew.
I am definitely ready for bed. The cave is far from clean and neat, but so much closer. When I walk into the kitchen or the computer room, I am sometimes surprised to see it so much... neater... different. I do like it. I probably won't be able to keep it up, but I do like it. So much fine detail, attention to detail, organization. But more, it is a constant energy drain. I'll go as far as I can with it. I'm not doing much else, and I can.
Now it is good night. Sleep well, I will.
.
Keeping right on things. I had to move a couple of the hoses and sprinklers and run them another hour. I still didn't get all of the lawn. It's a start. The garden was well watered, and the flowers were watered earlier. I didn't have enough spunk to do much in the kitchen, definitely not a sweep. Instead I did the little bit of organizing and cleaning of it, and then collected cardboard boxes and the hoses and other discard from the old reverse osmosis system. I am over-done. I am just finishing up a spot in my game. I've been doing that when I need rest or when the time isn't right to work.
Tomorrow? I can't remember what I had planned, but, if it is Saturday as I suspect, then I will try to keep it light. I want to scrub the bathroom floor, but if I do that then I want to hit the kitchen floor, which means sweeping before mopping. Bleh. But, that is a part of it. When the bathroom is mopped, then I can calk around the toilet. The problem is, the toilet butts right up against the wall, or very close. I'll have to see what I can do. Perhaps I can use a putty knife to work it in? Don't know, will have to see when I get to that point. It's good to know I'm not a pure man-pig though. It's just, I guess, how toilets work. Calking? Who knew.
I am definitely ready for bed. The cave is far from clean and neat, but so much closer. When I walk into the kitchen or the computer room, I am sometimes surprised to see it so much... neater... different. I do like it. I probably won't be able to keep it up, but I do like it. So much fine detail, attention to detail, organization. But more, it is a constant energy drain. I'll go as far as I can with it. I'm not doing much else, and I can.
Now it is good night. Sleep well, I will.
Almost done.
.
.
I did get the drip feeders on and set up. Then I just set it to run for an hour, though... since I forgot to connect some things, I can probably kick it off in an half hour. I tried to run all of it at once, but there is simply too much pressure demand. So, the lawn won't get watered until the garden is finished. Then again, I was pushing it with the lawn. While the sun is lower, it is still shining on the lawn. Yeah, it burns it even at an angle. I just got in a bit of a rush. I can probably check on it any time now. After writing this, anyway. It is hot out there, but due to a couple of mistakes, I got a little splash of the cold and wet. Actually, that wasn't bad at all. I might have to do it on purpose from time to time.
After I change garden to lawn watering, I'll do just a bit in the kitchen. Just to say I did do something in there. Put a few things away off the table and sweep? Sounds good. I have been making food. I wasn't up to cooking beans, but that is why I keep cans of that around. Along with hamburger and some spices, I can make a decent burrito. Two days of that is getting old, but it was good to eat something a little more complex that just a hamburger or hot dog.
I am tired though. I'll be pushing it, just a bit, to finish. All good. I will sleep well, again, tonight. And tomorrow and Sunday will be slow days. I am going to avoid planning until Sunday night. I know I want to get into town. I had sort of hoped to do it today, but with what else I had planned, that didn't seem reasonable. Tomorrow I need a break, as with Sunday. Monday would be the earliest. I just won't say that is the day I want to go, or will go. I'll just have to see where things sit later Sunday. This week has worn me out. All good. Good night.
.
I did get the drip feeders on and set up. Then I just set it to run for an hour, though... since I forgot to connect some things, I can probably kick it off in an half hour. I tried to run all of it at once, but there is simply too much pressure demand. So, the lawn won't get watered until the garden is finished. Then again, I was pushing it with the lawn. While the sun is lower, it is still shining on the lawn. Yeah, it burns it even at an angle. I just got in a bit of a rush. I can probably check on it any time now. After writing this, anyway. It is hot out there, but due to a couple of mistakes, I got a little splash of the cold and wet. Actually, that wasn't bad at all. I might have to do it on purpose from time to time.
After I change garden to lawn watering, I'll do just a bit in the kitchen. Just to say I did do something in there. Put a few things away off the table and sweep? Sounds good. I have been making food. I wasn't up to cooking beans, but that is why I keep cans of that around. Along with hamburger and some spices, I can make a decent burrito. Two days of that is getting old, but it was good to eat something a little more complex that just a hamburger or hot dog.
I am tired though. I'll be pushing it, just a bit, to finish. All good. I will sleep well, again, tonight. And tomorrow and Sunday will be slow days. I am going to avoid planning until Sunday night. I know I want to get into town. I had sort of hoped to do it today, but with what else I had planned, that didn't seem reasonable. Tomorrow I need a break, as with Sunday. Monday would be the earliest. I just won't say that is the day I want to go, or will go. I'll just have to see where things sit later Sunday. This week has worn me out. All good. Good night.
Pleasantly rested already.
.
.
I could actually hit something heavy yet. However, I will wait until it is cooler, then get the sprinklers working. And, after that, perhaps set the drip irrigation to work. Can you believe there are some tomatoes on the plants, through the heat, without water for weeks? They aren't the prettiest things. Perhaps water will help. I am not sure if anything is actually salvageable. Time will tell. Oh, and not all of the flowers died, just the ones in the small planters. The big planter flowers, cactus seeming things, and such, are doing quite well. I did put some water in all of the planters, just in case some of the seemingly dead ones might come back to life. Hey, I've been on the edge before. It can happen. Actually, that is what I am doing with the tomato and jalapeno plants. I did get out and give them some water, at their bases, before going down. A second chance, really. A dubious one.
It isn't what I am doing, did, or will do, that... causes me to write. It's the little thing that isn't discussed, but around which all of that occurs, leaving room for even more. That I am already rested up, and ready to go and would go were it not for the heat and that it isn't the right time to do the chores, is the thing that got me. I really thought, after doing what I did this morning, that I would be done for the day... anything else I would do would have to be a heavy push. I am very surprised, and pleased, to be back ready to do more. My work, this evening, will still be a bit of a push, since it will be nearing the end of my day. That's always a more difficult time to do things. But my body won't be an additional problem. It's a seeming tiny notion, but one that has huge implications.
Oh, I know, it will come and go. I live in, and for, moments. It's all I have. When the moments are splendid, strong, easy enough... then I really get to enjoy them. And I am. Who could imagine enjoying work? Physical work? But I do. At least as a counter to thought, or even cooperation with thought. Later.
.
I could actually hit something heavy yet. However, I will wait until it is cooler, then get the sprinklers working. And, after that, perhaps set the drip irrigation to work. Can you believe there are some tomatoes on the plants, through the heat, without water for weeks? They aren't the prettiest things. Perhaps water will help. I am not sure if anything is actually salvageable. Time will tell. Oh, and not all of the flowers died, just the ones in the small planters. The big planter flowers, cactus seeming things, and such, are doing quite well. I did put some water in all of the planters, just in case some of the seemingly dead ones might come back to life. Hey, I've been on the edge before. It can happen. Actually, that is what I am doing with the tomato and jalapeno plants. I did get out and give them some water, at their bases, before going down. A second chance, really. A dubious one.
It isn't what I am doing, did, or will do, that... causes me to write. It's the little thing that isn't discussed, but around which all of that occurs, leaving room for even more. That I am already rested up, and ready to go and would go were it not for the heat and that it isn't the right time to do the chores, is the thing that got me. I really thought, after doing what I did this morning, that I would be done for the day... anything else I would do would have to be a heavy push. I am very surprised, and pleased, to be back ready to do more. My work, this evening, will still be a bit of a push, since it will be nearing the end of my day. That's always a more difficult time to do things. But my body won't be an additional problem. It's a seeming tiny notion, but one that has huge implications.
Oh, I know, it will come and go. I live in, and for, moments. It's all I have. When the moments are splendid, strong, easy enough... then I really get to enjoy them. And I am. Who could imagine enjoying work? Physical work? But I do. At least as a counter to thought, or even cooperation with thought. Later.
Wiped out.
.
.
I did get it. The lawn is ready to be watered, the outside perimeter of the cave, plus the inside of the garage this time, have been sprayed for bugs. And then a shower. I did it pretty quickly, really. Starting at about 11:30 and it is now just almost 13:30. That might be a land speed record for me. But I am done, at least for three or four hours, but just as likely for the day. As I make passes to the bathroom, however, I might do little bits and pieces in the kitchen. Deciding and putting this or that in a place that makes sense, washing this or that, or tossing something I have decided has no further use. Dunno, but I am happy with what I have done. Oh, well, I will set the sprinklers to watering the grass later this evening. After the sun has set enough that it isn't hitting the grass, mostly. A good hour, tonight. I may adjust the sprinklers for tomorrow. A couple of heavy waterings, perhaps for the next three days, then back that down to three times a week. Oh, crap. I forgot to water the plants, and yes, I am going to do that before I settle in to gaming. Poor things.
Later.
.
I did get it. The lawn is ready to be watered, the outside perimeter of the cave, plus the inside of the garage this time, have been sprayed for bugs. And then a shower. I did it pretty quickly, really. Starting at about 11:30 and it is now just almost 13:30. That might be a land speed record for me. But I am done, at least for three or four hours, but just as likely for the day. As I make passes to the bathroom, however, I might do little bits and pieces in the kitchen. Deciding and putting this or that in a place that makes sense, washing this or that, or tossing something I have decided has no further use. Dunno, but I am happy with what I have done. Oh, well, I will set the sprinklers to watering the grass later this evening. After the sun has set enough that it isn't hitting the grass, mostly. A good hour, tonight. I may adjust the sprinklers for tomorrow. A couple of heavy waterings, perhaps for the next three days, then back that down to three times a week. Oh, crap. I forgot to water the plants, and yes, I am going to do that before I settle in to gaming. Poor things.
Later.
Not quite as bad as I thought.
.
.
Oh, the grass is brown. But some of the plants might survive, if I begin watering them. I may hit them with water now, just at the base, and then water them tonight. I was sure they would be completely dead. Not so much, not all of them. The real surprise was setting up the hoses. I thought that was going to quash me, all by itself. Really? It just wasn't that bad. Winded, but I did it pretty quickly, for me anyway. I won't run the water until tonight. But I did get the sprinklers roughly aimed where I want them to go. The rubber hoses I am sure about, the others... I will just have to see if they failed yet, or not. I have several spare, and may buy another hose or two, slowly replacing all of the junk hoses with longer lasting, heavier duty, ones. As they wear out, anyway. Damned expensive, but if the quality proofs the price, there you go.
I also swept so that I can spray for bugs shortly. I let Sam run with me while I was putting the hoses out, then she came in, thinking she would be allowed to play the in-and-out game. Tricked her. I need her in, for at least three hours, after I spray. She neither knows, nor cares, she just wants to do what she wants to do, and being inside isn't it. Like a child, or woman, she holds her head high in ignorance. Oh? Yeah, sure, men do too, but as the apex predators... and son's of Adam, we are the end of the line. So... tuck your head in your lap and prepare for a ride! Anyway... after the rest I get posting this, I will spray, then shower. Good to shower after sweating, and spraying. Then a bit of down time as I figure out what next to do. The kitchen table, a bit more sorting as I can. Then sweeping, vacuuming, and mopping the kitchen and bathroom. After that I don't think there will be much else I can do.
Tomorrow I only plan on doing a few simple things. Clearing and cleaning my desktop, calking around the toilet, and resting. Perhaps sanding the workbench top, and putting up a few things for out there. Sunday, mostly, will be a day of rest. Then I will figure out where to go, and what to do, Sunday night and try to hit it Monday... or Tuesday. It has been a very good week. I am back on track for as long as it will last. I can not only see a future, I can plan it, then make some of those plans happen. And organize? Seriously? That has me... amazed. Magic. Later.
.
Oh, the grass is brown. But some of the plants might survive, if I begin watering them. I may hit them with water now, just at the base, and then water them tonight. I was sure they would be completely dead. Not so much, not all of them. The real surprise was setting up the hoses. I thought that was going to quash me, all by itself. Really? It just wasn't that bad. Winded, but I did it pretty quickly, for me anyway. I won't run the water until tonight. But I did get the sprinklers roughly aimed where I want them to go. The rubber hoses I am sure about, the others... I will just have to see if they failed yet, or not. I have several spare, and may buy another hose or two, slowly replacing all of the junk hoses with longer lasting, heavier duty, ones. As they wear out, anyway. Damned expensive, but if the quality proofs the price, there you go.
I also swept so that I can spray for bugs shortly. I let Sam run with me while I was putting the hoses out, then she came in, thinking she would be allowed to play the in-and-out game. Tricked her. I need her in, for at least three hours, after I spray. She neither knows, nor cares, she just wants to do what she wants to do, and being inside isn't it. Like a child, or woman, she holds her head high in ignorance. Oh? Yeah, sure, men do too, but as the apex predators... and son's of Adam, we are the end of the line. So... tuck your head in your lap and prepare for a ride! Anyway... after the rest I get posting this, I will spray, then shower. Good to shower after sweating, and spraying. Then a bit of down time as I figure out what next to do. The kitchen table, a bit more sorting as I can. Then sweeping, vacuuming, and mopping the kitchen and bathroom. After that I don't think there will be much else I can do.
Tomorrow I only plan on doing a few simple things. Clearing and cleaning my desktop, calking around the toilet, and resting. Perhaps sanding the workbench top, and putting up a few things for out there. Sunday, mostly, will be a day of rest. Then I will figure out where to go, and what to do, Sunday night and try to hit it Monday... or Tuesday. It has been a very good week. I am back on track for as long as it will last. I can not only see a future, I can plan it, then make some of those plans happen. And organize? Seriously? That has me... amazed. Magic. Later.
Ah, it seems one of the dreams has come back.
.
.
It wasn't a talky, a silent movie sort of thing, and short. It wasn't a happy one, mostly, either. While I was speaking with the woman, and she was talking as well, the words were not heard. I was listening to what she was really saying and how I was responding and what I was saying. Most communication is nonverbal. Sometimes I am very good at that, hearing that. None of what was being spoken was about what was really being said.
She wanted to know why I did not take her, bring her in, make her mine. I told her that her "read" was wrong. That I did not advance because I did not see intent, or interest, in her ways. She told me that I had misread. I told her that I believed her "read" more than I trust her words, that she is confused and did not understand her own truth. All this, of course, in body language, and about body language from the past. She was angry, with me, for this. I simply asked her to consider what I had just "said", to contemplate it. I knew she would not, she was sure she was right.
And, maybe she was. But I must act as I see fit in specific circumstances. Perhaps my take on what I am perceiving is wrong. That is possible. What is also possible is that she was not ready to be taken, owned. That she was too confused to have been... integrated into one with a man. Perhaps she was deceiving herself about her wants and interests.
Oh, it's about a real woman and a real event, series of events really. I just hadn't ever compiled everything. My dream did that for me. And, truth be told, I am still unsure, of anything. But I did what I did, perceived as I did, and what has and hasn't happened are the results of that. A fool, mistaken at times, but I have to go by what I see and understand. Life is pain (just the music). As, sometime, am I.
On to work. I'll do the hoses and such, then spray, then take a shower and figure anything else out. Later.
.
It wasn't a talky, a silent movie sort of thing, and short. It wasn't a happy one, mostly, either. While I was speaking with the woman, and she was talking as well, the words were not heard. I was listening to what she was really saying and how I was responding and what I was saying. Most communication is nonverbal. Sometimes I am very good at that, hearing that. None of what was being spoken was about what was really being said.
She wanted to know why I did not take her, bring her in, make her mine. I told her that her "read" was wrong. That I did not advance because I did not see intent, or interest, in her ways. She told me that I had misread. I told her that I believed her "read" more than I trust her words, that she is confused and did not understand her own truth. All this, of course, in body language, and about body language from the past. She was angry, with me, for this. I simply asked her to consider what I had just "said", to contemplate it. I knew she would not, she was sure she was right.
And, maybe she was. But I must act as I see fit in specific circumstances. Perhaps my take on what I am perceiving is wrong. That is possible. What is also possible is that she was not ready to be taken, owned. That she was too confused to have been... integrated into one with a man. Perhaps she was deceiving herself about her wants and interests.
Oh, it's about a real woman and a real event, series of events really. I just hadn't ever compiled everything. My dream did that for me. And, truth be told, I am still unsure, of anything. But I did what I did, perceived as I did, and what has and hasn't happened are the results of that. A fool, mistaken at times, but I have to go by what I see and understand. Life is pain (just the music). As, sometime, am I.
On to work. I'll do the hoses and such, then spray, then take a shower and figure anything else out. Later.
A very good sleep.
.
.
I can't believe how good life had become. I'm still lame, a goodly bit. It's not like I am back to windsprints and benching. But I am doing some of the little stuff of life. I am even able to begin organizing. I have almost never been able to do even what I am doing, on that accord. Something clicked, after decades of living in a dark age, and it... makes sense? Something like that. Yes, I have a long way to go. But when some doors open, if you can keep them open, life changes. That is one of those doors for me I do believe. I've been thinking about it seriously for a year or so, when something clicked regarding it some time back. It is as if my subconsciousness took that concept and worked it in the backfield while I was struggling with other things consciously. When ready, like a present, wrapped and causing curiosity, it was presented.
Sleep was fantastic. Being able to work on several fronts, do a bit of research, a bit of planning that seems possible, do work that goes with the planning and research, and still have time to play as well all adds up to just about everything life is about. Yeah, I'm still doing it at a snail's pace. But I am doing it. I went to bed, and woke, a bit later today. There is some variability in my pattern. Two steps up, two back, but it is staying night and day. I'll take that.
Dreams, again, last night. Not quite as many are remembered, but the few were much more powerful, even satisfying. Running down Lucifer, chasing him to his lair, denying him access. Dispelling false myth and lies, on the side. Things like that. Heavy, but things that wet my appetite. Things I feel I was born to do. The contemplative life has it's place, the active life has it's place. I, personally, think that choosing just one, or the other, alone, is a mistake. However, some are only fit for one or the other. If both are available, pursue each in it's time. You won't regret it. Even if you simply "think" for a living, grow a garden. That is active, and will reward you in many ways.
Yes, yes, I have things to do. Setting up the hoses and timer. I will adjust the sprinklers this evening. Then to set up the bug sprayer and begin that project. After that, more tinkering in the cave. After, of course, a bit of waking and another cup of coffee. It's a small but wonderful life, for now. Now, go! Make your own life wonderful... or just hang on until you can. Blessings.
.
I can't believe how good life had become. I'm still lame, a goodly bit. It's not like I am back to windsprints and benching. But I am doing some of the little stuff of life. I am even able to begin organizing. I have almost never been able to do even what I am doing, on that accord. Something clicked, after decades of living in a dark age, and it... makes sense? Something like that. Yes, I have a long way to go. But when some doors open, if you can keep them open, life changes. That is one of those doors for me I do believe. I've been thinking about it seriously for a year or so, when something clicked regarding it some time back. It is as if my subconsciousness took that concept and worked it in the backfield while I was struggling with other things consciously. When ready, like a present, wrapped and causing curiosity, it was presented.
Sleep was fantastic. Being able to work on several fronts, do a bit of research, a bit of planning that seems possible, do work that goes with the planning and research, and still have time to play as well all adds up to just about everything life is about. Yeah, I'm still doing it at a snail's pace. But I am doing it. I went to bed, and woke, a bit later today. There is some variability in my pattern. Two steps up, two back, but it is staying night and day. I'll take that.
Dreams, again, last night. Not quite as many are remembered, but the few were much more powerful, even satisfying. Running down Lucifer, chasing him to his lair, denying him access. Dispelling false myth and lies, on the side. Things like that. Heavy, but things that wet my appetite. Things I feel I was born to do. The contemplative life has it's place, the active life has it's place. I, personally, think that choosing just one, or the other, alone, is a mistake. However, some are only fit for one or the other. If both are available, pursue each in it's time. You won't regret it. Even if you simply "think" for a living, grow a garden. That is active, and will reward you in many ways.
Yes, yes, I have things to do. Setting up the hoses and timer. I will adjust the sprinklers this evening. Then to set up the bug sprayer and begin that project. After that, more tinkering in the cave. After, of course, a bit of waking and another cup of coffee. It's a small but wonderful life, for now. Now, go! Make your own life wonderful... or just hang on until you can. Blessings.
Thursday, July 24, 2014
A good day deserves a good night.
.
.
Yeah, sure, I can't always do what I want, when I want. Taking shots at things, backing off, going after something else, until I can't or fall. The rescheduling according to what is felt is needed more when I rise again. It's a bugs life, but it is the life I have. Today was a good day, as was yesterday. I won't say I am whipping things into shape. It's more a very gentle spanking. :) Hey, but it's what I have to give.
More of the same tomorrow, plus spraying for bugs and setting up the hoses, sprinklers, and timer to get the lawn watered, finally. Not green, not at all. Bleh. After that, if I have it to give, more work in the house. It isn't great but it is a vast improvement and I am not close to done. I will be backing off this weekend. I will need it. But I won't be completely quitting either. There are a few little things I am hoping to tend. Like my desk, here, and a few small areas. That and cleaning the bathroom floor and sealing the toilet properly. I have the silicone calk and calk gun. So it's just a matter of cleaning up the area, again, and laying the bead. Hey, it's the only lay I've had in nearly a decade, and the only one in my immediate future. :p
Good night.
.
Yeah, sure, I can't always do what I want, when I want. Taking shots at things, backing off, going after something else, until I can't or fall. The rescheduling according to what is felt is needed more when I rise again. It's a bugs life, but it is the life I have. Today was a good day, as was yesterday. I won't say I am whipping things into shape. It's more a very gentle spanking. :) Hey, but it's what I have to give.
More of the same tomorrow, plus spraying for bugs and setting up the hoses, sprinklers, and timer to get the lawn watered, finally. Not green, not at all. Bleh. After that, if I have it to give, more work in the house. It isn't great but it is a vast improvement and I am not close to done. I will be backing off this weekend. I will need it. But I won't be completely quitting either. There are a few little things I am hoping to tend. Like my desk, here, and a few small areas. That and cleaning the bathroom floor and sealing the toilet properly. I have the silicone calk and calk gun. So it's just a matter of cleaning up the area, again, and laying the bead. Hey, it's the only lay I've had in nearly a decade, and the only one in my immediate future. :p
Good night.
Moving along.
.
.
Cleaning and straightening isn't like any other chore. You are done when you are done, but there are levels completeness, and yet you are never done, ever. Often that disturbs me, when trying to complete such tasks. Not this time. I seem to be able to ignore that aspect and just do this, that, and the next thing. However, it does make it difficult to gauge, or express. It has gotten a bit too hot to work. I'll put the AC on, and game for a while, perhaps doing more this afternoon. I don't know.
Oh, there is much yet to do. And when I get to a certain point of completion, I am still hitting... confusion. How to more fully organize, where the last bits need to go or whether they should simply be tossed. I have some limits, and I tire of that sort of work. Instead of just hitting a road block, I have been simply hitting another area. I am not doing a lot of work, or fast, when I work. But I have been able to keep a somewhat steady pace. When I work. An hour or two at a time, a three or four times so far today.
I did find the inseticide! With that, and the sprayer, getting the outside treated, tomorrow, is on the list. And setting up the sprinklers. I may have to seed some areas. It's looking pretty rough out there. I will want to try to do those things early, before it gets too hot.
Things are starting to make sense. Slowly. It is wonderful, though, to walk into a room that is even a quarter better than before. And, as I clear and clean, I see more that needs to be done, sometimes doing it on the spot. I don't know what is pushing the train, it sure as hell isn't the caboose. My caboose prefers that latter part of the notion regarding motion... things at rest tend to want to stay at rest. And rest it does, and wants.
I am hoping to figure out how to get to town soon. Ketchup, bread of some sort, cream, and milk, at least. Oh, and the stuff at the hardware store. Just two stores this time. I have to keep it simple and that is already a bit complex. Luckily, the grocery store I know and the hardware store will probably stock those chemicals near one another. Early or late, just not at noon, it's simply too much for my preferences. And I do get grumpy. Hmm, but on the upside, a "free" meal. Treat for tat. Later.
.
Cleaning and straightening isn't like any other chore. You are done when you are done, but there are levels completeness, and yet you are never done, ever. Often that disturbs me, when trying to complete such tasks. Not this time. I seem to be able to ignore that aspect and just do this, that, and the next thing. However, it does make it difficult to gauge, or express. It has gotten a bit too hot to work. I'll put the AC on, and game for a while, perhaps doing more this afternoon. I don't know.
Oh, there is much yet to do. And when I get to a certain point of completion, I am still hitting... confusion. How to more fully organize, where the last bits need to go or whether they should simply be tossed. I have some limits, and I tire of that sort of work. Instead of just hitting a road block, I have been simply hitting another area. I am not doing a lot of work, or fast, when I work. But I have been able to keep a somewhat steady pace. When I work. An hour or two at a time, a three or four times so far today.
I did find the inseticide! With that, and the sprayer, getting the outside treated, tomorrow, is on the list. And setting up the sprinklers. I may have to seed some areas. It's looking pretty rough out there. I will want to try to do those things early, before it gets too hot.
Things are starting to make sense. Slowly. It is wonderful, though, to walk into a room that is even a quarter better than before. And, as I clear and clean, I see more that needs to be done, sometimes doing it on the spot. I don't know what is pushing the train, it sure as hell isn't the caboose. My caboose prefers that latter part of the notion regarding motion... things at rest tend to want to stay at rest. And rest it does, and wants.
I am hoping to figure out how to get to town soon. Ketchup, bread of some sort, cream, and milk, at least. Oh, and the stuff at the hardware store. Just two stores this time. I have to keep it simple and that is already a bit complex. Luckily, the grocery store I know and the hardware store will probably stock those chemicals near one another. Early or late, just not at noon, it's simply too much for my preferences. And I do get grumpy. Hmm, but on the upside, a "free" meal. Treat for tat. Later.
The smallest of things.
.
.
I had set out, today, with clearing and cleaning the kitchen. I figured there would be little parts of other areas that would get hit as I began collecting collections into some sort of order. The notion of organization that hit me seemed reasonable. But... I am me. I didn't think this would go well, or far. And? It has gone much more smoothly, deeply, and quickly than I could have imagined, would have dreamed.
I am not there yet. But I can see the table, a full half of the table top. And much of what is there will remain... a centerpiece mat, a napkin holder... two actually of which one will be filled and taken to the living room, enough space was cleared that my medicine bowl (with all pill form medicines) was able to be taken to the table where it belongs, etc. I do need to organize the table better, and do a bit more work. But it is possible. Probable.
I have been collecting tools, even sorting them into particular groupings by area or tool chest. I have been getting rid of mail that is very old, if unread, most of it. Even here, in the computer room, I have started some arranging. Things to be thrown away, things to go to the garage. While taking a break I see a tool, or as I find bits that are to go to the garage, I bring them in with the other items to go there. Other areas, than those, are being hit. Just because they are in the right place at the right time in between this and that.
A bit amazed. Pleased, but still not confident. There is much more to do. I don't know if this is a quirk or a flow. I'll know in a couple of days I suppose. It's too hot to do much outside, but in a few days to a week there may be rain on the way. Perhaps as soon as Saturday, if that is supposed to be very minor. Still, cooling things off just a bit wouldn't be all bad. Perhaps enough for a hike? If I was up to it? Don't know. But I would certainly like to get out, again, and soon. Hmm, probably not a hike, not this week. But maybe a chance to get to the store. Canned milk just isn't a great creamer. It is simply better than nothing, or reconstituted milk, if even that will do in a pinch.
I do need a longer break, so... gaming. And maybe more hamburgers. I don't have ketchup. Hamburgers without it are just a bit dry. Bleh. Maybe tuna "salad" on those buns. Still a bit dry but it might be better. Later.
.
I had set out, today, with clearing and cleaning the kitchen. I figured there would be little parts of other areas that would get hit as I began collecting collections into some sort of order. The notion of organization that hit me seemed reasonable. But... I am me. I didn't think this would go well, or far. And? It has gone much more smoothly, deeply, and quickly than I could have imagined, would have dreamed.
I am not there yet. But I can see the table, a full half of the table top. And much of what is there will remain... a centerpiece mat, a napkin holder... two actually of which one will be filled and taken to the living room, enough space was cleared that my medicine bowl (with all pill form medicines) was able to be taken to the table where it belongs, etc. I do need to organize the table better, and do a bit more work. But it is possible. Probable.
I have been collecting tools, even sorting them into particular groupings by area or tool chest. I have been getting rid of mail that is very old, if unread, most of it. Even here, in the computer room, I have started some arranging. Things to be thrown away, things to go to the garage. While taking a break I see a tool, or as I find bits that are to go to the garage, I bring them in with the other items to go there. Other areas, than those, are being hit. Just because they are in the right place at the right time in between this and that.
A bit amazed. Pleased, but still not confident. There is much more to do. I don't know if this is a quirk or a flow. I'll know in a couple of days I suppose. It's too hot to do much outside, but in a few days to a week there may be rain on the way. Perhaps as soon as Saturday, if that is supposed to be very minor. Still, cooling things off just a bit wouldn't be all bad. Perhaps enough for a hike? If I was up to it? Don't know. But I would certainly like to get out, again, and soon. Hmm, probably not a hike, not this week. But maybe a chance to get to the store. Canned milk just isn't a great creamer. It is simply better than nothing, or reconstituted milk, if even that will do in a pinch.
I do need a longer break, so... gaming. And maybe more hamburgers. I don't have ketchup. Hamburgers without it are just a bit dry. Bleh. Maybe tuna "salad" on those buns. Still a bit dry but it might be better. Later.
An early wake.
.
.
I had hoped to sleep until 5:00. I woke at 3:30, again. I stayed in bed until 4:30, just resting, trying to grasp sleep back. At that point I surrendered to the call to wake. All good though. Teeth brushed, a cup of coffee, and about to feed the girls. Never feed them when you first wake or they will try to wake you. Actually, they won't be fed for several more hours. I don't want them to equate my waking with their sleep. Some days I just do it automatically, without thinking.
Today? The kitchen. As much as I can do. Bits of organizing as I go. The trick to organization is two-fold. Likes or similars with likes or similars. Then keeping it that way and defining and redefining what is similar. Of course, along the way, one must design, purchase, create spaces and places for the various objects that belong together. It is no easy task. Memory is required to make those locations accessible. It isn't scent, mostly, that allows a squirrel to find it's hidden food, but memory, with olfactory as a function once memory has worked it's magic to within the range where smell can help. So it is with arranging a household for humans, if other cues might also be used, and scent being rarely a part of it. So, with this new concept in mind, as I prepare to clean and bring order to my life, I have some hope of arranging things a bit differently.
Oh, the notion of organizing? It just came to me. I am sure others have better ways, definitions, and methods. But I can't use what other people have. I am not in their shoes. I have to keep things very simple in my weak areas, and so I will. At least at first, and see where that gets me. If I get anywhere into this, then, perhaps, I can go on to perfect, or at least improve, on the notions.
.
I had hoped to sleep until 5:00. I woke at 3:30, again. I stayed in bed until 4:30, just resting, trying to grasp sleep back. At that point I surrendered to the call to wake. All good though. Teeth brushed, a cup of coffee, and about to feed the girls. Never feed them when you first wake or they will try to wake you. Actually, they won't be fed for several more hours. I don't want them to equate my waking with their sleep. Some days I just do it automatically, without thinking.
Today? The kitchen. As much as I can do. Bits of organizing as I go. The trick to organization is two-fold. Likes or similars with likes or similars. Then keeping it that way and defining and redefining what is similar. Of course, along the way, one must design, purchase, create spaces and places for the various objects that belong together. It is no easy task. Memory is required to make those locations accessible. It isn't scent, mostly, that allows a squirrel to find it's hidden food, but memory, with olfactory as a function once memory has worked it's magic to within the range where smell can help. So it is with arranging a household for humans, if other cues might also be used, and scent being rarely a part of it. So, with this new concept in mind, as I prepare to clean and bring order to my life, I have some hope of arranging things a bit differently.
Oh, the notion of organizing? It just came to me. I am sure others have better ways, definitions, and methods. But I can't use what other people have. I am not in their shoes. I have to keep things very simple in my weak areas, and so I will. At least at first, and see where that gets me. If I get anywhere into this, then, perhaps, I can go on to perfect, or at least improve, on the notions.
Wednesday, July 23, 2014
Odd schedule.
.
.
I am keeping to a day schedule, but a schizophrenic one, sort of. Some nights, like tonight, I am about crashing before getting to bed, and early. Other nights I can't sleep until nearly midnight. Regardless of those things, some mornings I wake at 3:00-4:00, and some mornings I can barely wake at 7:00. Screwy, but... it's within my hoped parameters, I suppose. Tonight, as I mentioned, is an early to bed night. I could have, and perhaps should have, been to bed earlier. Just couldn't wake enough to realize I was so tired, if you know what I mean.
Tomorrow? Hopefully the kitchen. I couldn't get to it today. The search, which is incomplete, absolutely exhausted me, for some reason. Dunno, but... the kitchen, tomorrow. I will tear into it pretty good before I begin searching for the bugacide again. After the kitchen, this room. I want it strip-cleaned. In part to make room for the living room furniture, for when I clean, vacuum, and steam vac that area. Which will stay bare so I can get my bedroom cleared, and cleaned. I can sleep in the spare bedroom until that is done. It's an incentive, it has no air conditioning. Fans can, to a degree, circulate cool air in. But not well. So I will be pushing for that. Then a week or two off.
I ought to check to see if the guys are still interested in making a trip up through Montana, Idaho, and Wyoming. It sure sounds fun to me. I've been hobbled up. But I am breaking free. They might hate me, but... I can be useful once in a while. And, I ain't too bad of company when I can be present. Good night.
.
I am keeping to a day schedule, but a schizophrenic one, sort of. Some nights, like tonight, I am about crashing before getting to bed, and early. Other nights I can't sleep until nearly midnight. Regardless of those things, some mornings I wake at 3:00-4:00, and some mornings I can barely wake at 7:00. Screwy, but... it's within my hoped parameters, I suppose. Tonight, as I mentioned, is an early to bed night. I could have, and perhaps should have, been to bed earlier. Just couldn't wake enough to realize I was so tired, if you know what I mean.
Tomorrow? Hopefully the kitchen. I couldn't get to it today. The search, which is incomplete, absolutely exhausted me, for some reason. Dunno, but... the kitchen, tomorrow. I will tear into it pretty good before I begin searching for the bugacide again. After the kitchen, this room. I want it strip-cleaned. In part to make room for the living room furniture, for when I clean, vacuum, and steam vac that area. Which will stay bare so I can get my bedroom cleared, and cleaned. I can sleep in the spare bedroom until that is done. It's an incentive, it has no air conditioning. Fans can, to a degree, circulate cool air in. But not well. So I will be pushing for that. Then a week or two off.
I ought to check to see if the guys are still interested in making a trip up through Montana, Idaho, and Wyoming. It sure sounds fun to me. I've been hobbled up. But I am breaking free. They might hate me, but... I can be useful once in a while. And, I ain't too bad of company when I can be present. Good night.
A bit slower?
.
.
Perhaps, but I keep stumbling on little things. I did finish the laundry. I tried to gather enough for another load but that didn't pan out. I needed a break and took one. One of the, I thought, little things, that I wanted to do, about which I wouldn't write, was finding the bug sprayer, and pesticide, then spraying around my home. It worked very well last time but it is about time to do it again. I was searching for packets of the stuff and the sprayer. I have looked in every place I could imagine and some that I could not imagine. Nope. Finally, in the last place I could even look, I did find the sprayer. Worn out though. I'll look for the gunk later. Although... I may have an idea where it just might be.
Not much else is going to happen today. I did pull the trash bin back from the curb, finally. I simply noticed it while I was searching the garage. Yeah, no sanding today. It's gotten too hot and I was too slow to do it when it was cooler. I turned the ac on for a bit, which helped a great deal. I may have to turn the AC on a couple of times during the day, and if I want to sleep at night. It has a timer on it, so I just run it for a few hours at a time. Just enough to knock the edge off the heat. Outside is absolutely brutal. If I were healthy, it's where I would love to be.
I may go ahead and fry some hamburgers though. I am hungry. A few days of food in a row and I almost get used to the stuff. A little mayo, grill the buns while I am at it, ketchup, mustard, or whatever I have that sounds tasty with it. I could see if the potatoes are still good, and if so, grill/bake a handful. Once cooked, they are great to eat as such, or slice and fry. Hmm... out of sour cream though. It's a must when I am eating potatoes. I really need to get to the store. Tomorrow? Doubtful. Friday would probably be my first chance, if then.
Off to cook, then game, a bit. Up just a few more hours and then I can sleep, I hope, early. Later.
.
Perhaps, but I keep stumbling on little things. I did finish the laundry. I tried to gather enough for another load but that didn't pan out. I needed a break and took one. One of the, I thought, little things, that I wanted to do, about which I wouldn't write, was finding the bug sprayer, and pesticide, then spraying around my home. It worked very well last time but it is about time to do it again. I was searching for packets of the stuff and the sprayer. I have looked in every place I could imagine and some that I could not imagine. Nope. Finally, in the last place I could even look, I did find the sprayer. Worn out though. I'll look for the gunk later. Although... I may have an idea where it just might be.
Not much else is going to happen today. I did pull the trash bin back from the curb, finally. I simply noticed it while I was searching the garage. Yeah, no sanding today. It's gotten too hot and I was too slow to do it when it was cooler. I turned the ac on for a bit, which helped a great deal. I may have to turn the AC on a couple of times during the day, and if I want to sleep at night. It has a timer on it, so I just run it for a few hours at a time. Just enough to knock the edge off the heat. Outside is absolutely brutal. If I were healthy, it's where I would love to be.
I may go ahead and fry some hamburgers though. I am hungry. A few days of food in a row and I almost get used to the stuff. A little mayo, grill the buns while I am at it, ketchup, mustard, or whatever I have that sounds tasty with it. I could see if the potatoes are still good, and if so, grill/bake a handful. Once cooked, they are great to eat as such, or slice and fry. Hmm... out of sour cream though. It's a must when I am eating potatoes. I really need to get to the store. Tomorrow? Doubtful. Friday would probably be my first chance, if then.
Off to cook, then game, a bit. Up just a few more hours and then I can sleep, I hope, early. Later.
Good morning.
.
.
I couldn't sleep until late last night, 23:30 or so. I set the alarm for 7:00, and pretty much made that. After brushing my teeth, I set the dryer to run for a bit, to finish or fluff the last load from yesterday and will get to that by 8:00, probably. It was still 80 in here which is why I was having trouble getting to sleep. At 23:30, it was still 80 in here? Crazy. The AC helped a bit, I'll have to pay attention a bit closer to the temp and run the AC to keep it a bit lower. Though, perhaps, some days, that might just be the way of it. More work planned today, but one thing already off the checklist. I went ahead and washed the counters last night. Actually all horizontal planes in the kitchen, minus the table were washed and well.
Today? Another load of laundry, after the one that is finishing, then the kitchen. The table and floors are really what needs to be hit. And, while doing those floors, some of which need mopped, I will hit the bathroom. I figured out the problem with the bathroom. I'm not the man-pig I had thought! I simply hadn't sealed around the toilet. You see, I had some confusion about that. I didn't realize, even when sealed, that there was spray from that. The leak is from underneath. I have been exceedingly careful, for the last six months, and it is still a mess around there. But, it isn't from me. While that is a relief, and does offer a solution, it is disappointing that I couldn't figured that out earlier. It is so slow, sort of, the way it happens, though, that unless you know, it is easy to not know... Live and learn. So, after cleaning the bathroom floor, I will be sealing the toilet. Then I will be sanding the workbench just a touch. I will hold off on more until I purchase the materials I want to use on the top. This will be my first wood treatment project, ever, I think.
.
I couldn't sleep until late last night, 23:30 or so. I set the alarm for 7:00, and pretty much made that. After brushing my teeth, I set the dryer to run for a bit, to finish or fluff the last load from yesterday and will get to that by 8:00, probably. It was still 80 in here which is why I was having trouble getting to sleep. At 23:30, it was still 80 in here? Crazy. The AC helped a bit, I'll have to pay attention a bit closer to the temp and run the AC to keep it a bit lower. Though, perhaps, some days, that might just be the way of it. More work planned today, but one thing already off the checklist. I went ahead and washed the counters last night. Actually all horizontal planes in the kitchen, minus the table were washed and well.
Today? Another load of laundry, after the one that is finishing, then the kitchen. The table and floors are really what needs to be hit. And, while doing those floors, some of which need mopped, I will hit the bathroom. I figured out the problem with the bathroom. I'm not the man-pig I had thought! I simply hadn't sealed around the toilet. You see, I had some confusion about that. I didn't realize, even when sealed, that there was spray from that. The leak is from underneath. I have been exceedingly careful, for the last six months, and it is still a mess around there. But, it isn't from me. While that is a relief, and does offer a solution, it is disappointing that I couldn't figured that out earlier. It is so slow, sort of, the way it happens, though, that unless you know, it is easy to not know... Live and learn. So, after cleaning the bathroom floor, I will be sealing the toilet. Then I will be sanding the workbench just a touch. I will hold off on more until I purchase the materials I want to use on the top. This will be my first wood treatment project, ever, I think.
Tuesday, July 22, 2014
Not fast, just some motion.
.
.
I've done the dishes, and a load of laundry is in the drier, another in the washing machine. And, as I have done bits of that, I have also done a few other things. Just a bit of spot cleaning. I am hoping to finish the laundry and then give the counters a real washing. The other day I just gave them a first dose of the medicine. I didn't have the energy or organization yet to clean them down to brass tacks. If I finish the laundry, and still have a bit of energy, I'll take a shower. I don't quite need one, I just want one. It can't be all work, or just for work.
The kitchen, as well as I can do it, is what will happen tomorrow. Table, floors, and a review of what needs to be tossed. I would like to get to the grocery store, but would have done that days ago if I could have gotten out. As I suggested, this week, probably later in the week, will be my first shot at venturing out. The grocery store, and the hardware store, plus a visit to the post office. I'll look at the weather reports. We did have a cool spell a few days ago, I think. I doubt if we will get another one soon. But perhaps I can try to focus on a day that is supposed to be cooler. It is heating up out there, but... that's good. Summer has it's uses.
I have been keeping up on the litter box, taking my medicine, and working to normalize a day schedule. I would like to add some things to my daily routine, like blood pressure and blood sugar checks, weight, and such. If I plan for every day and only hit three to four checks a week, I could be happy with that. The thing is, I need to keep the kitchen table open for that. At the very least create a cleared spot large enough to handle that effort and the logging of it. But, really, unless I keep the table clear, whole, that won't work. Blindly toss? Probably. Actually, I'm going to be hitting the rest of the cave with that in mind. Since I can't sort... toss. I don't like it, but... Oh, and I need to start getting the lawn watered. Which means dragging out the hoses, setting up the sprinklers, and setting the timer. Tonight, tomorrow, when I can. Later.
.
I've done the dishes, and a load of laundry is in the drier, another in the washing machine. And, as I have done bits of that, I have also done a few other things. Just a bit of spot cleaning. I am hoping to finish the laundry and then give the counters a real washing. The other day I just gave them a first dose of the medicine. I didn't have the energy or organization yet to clean them down to brass tacks. If I finish the laundry, and still have a bit of energy, I'll take a shower. I don't quite need one, I just want one. It can't be all work, or just for work.
The kitchen, as well as I can do it, is what will happen tomorrow. Table, floors, and a review of what needs to be tossed. I would like to get to the grocery store, but would have done that days ago if I could have gotten out. As I suggested, this week, probably later in the week, will be my first shot at venturing out. The grocery store, and the hardware store, plus a visit to the post office. I'll look at the weather reports. We did have a cool spell a few days ago, I think. I doubt if we will get another one soon. But perhaps I can try to focus on a day that is supposed to be cooler. It is heating up out there, but... that's good. Summer has it's uses.
I have been keeping up on the litter box, taking my medicine, and working to normalize a day schedule. I would like to add some things to my daily routine, like blood pressure and blood sugar checks, weight, and such. If I plan for every day and only hit three to four checks a week, I could be happy with that. The thing is, I need to keep the kitchen table open for that. At the very least create a cleared spot large enough to handle that effort and the logging of it. But, really, unless I keep the table clear, whole, that won't work. Blindly toss? Probably. Actually, I'm going to be hitting the rest of the cave with that in mind. Since I can't sort... toss. I don't like it, but... Oh, and I need to start getting the lawn watered. Which means dragging out the hoses, setting up the sprinklers, and setting the timer. Tonight, tomorrow, when I can. Later.
Must have needed sleep.
.
.
I ended up not actually going down until 19:00. Must have pushed it, and didn't get much sleep yesterday. Still, I didn't think I would need to set the alarm. I didn't wake until after 7:00. I did stir earlier, when it was still very dark, but I couldn't wake, neither body or mind. Probably my usual wake time, around 3:00 to 4:00, I would guess, but one of those two has to be functional to drag me awake. A very long sleep, but as I suggested, I probably needed it. Still on medicine like clockwork, which probably isn't quite helping, but verging on that. Another few days to a week and there is some hope I will be back in trim.
Today? Back to the plans. Dishes, which I will reset, a load of laundry in when I do that, a little breather, and then out to sanding and finishing up the work bench. Hmm, before I finish that, I may see if there is some treatment for the wood. Tung oil or linseed oil... still thinking. I know, I know, over-complicating things, perhaps. I'll be reading and deciding, and if I haven't chosen by the time I can get out, and into town, I'll just skip it. But I will sand the surface today. I read that mixing 2 oz. bees wax, a pint of linseed oil, than one pint of linseed oil, coating the top daily until the wood stops absorbing, and sort of like that notion. I've wanted to get boiled linseed oil anyway, to start working on various wood handled tools and some other things. Yeah, yeah... But...
First I have to wake. Medicine has been taken. Food? Not likely. Once a day, for now, until I get back on my feet a little better. When I am more active, food 'happen' more often, naturally. So I don't worry about it. I am quite used to being hungry. And, if I can get the dishes kicked out before too long, I will get a shower taken as well. Another cup of coffee would be great, and a little time to process. Well, right after resetting a hot rinse for the dishes and putting a load of laundry in. Good day.
.
I ended up not actually going down until 19:00. Must have pushed it, and didn't get much sleep yesterday. Still, I didn't think I would need to set the alarm. I didn't wake until after 7:00. I did stir earlier, when it was still very dark, but I couldn't wake, neither body or mind. Probably my usual wake time, around 3:00 to 4:00, I would guess, but one of those two has to be functional to drag me awake. A very long sleep, but as I suggested, I probably needed it. Still on medicine like clockwork, which probably isn't quite helping, but verging on that. Another few days to a week and there is some hope I will be back in trim.
Today? Back to the plans. Dishes, which I will reset, a load of laundry in when I do that, a little breather, and then out to sanding and finishing up the work bench. Hmm, before I finish that, I may see if there is some treatment for the wood. Tung oil or linseed oil... still thinking. I know, I know, over-complicating things, perhaps. I'll be reading and deciding, and if I haven't chosen by the time I can get out, and into town, I'll just skip it. But I will sand the surface today. I read that mixing 2 oz. bees wax, a pint of linseed oil, than one pint of linseed oil, coating the top daily until the wood stops absorbing, and sort of like that notion. I've wanted to get boiled linseed oil anyway, to start working on various wood handled tools and some other things. Yeah, yeah... But...
First I have to wake. Medicine has been taken. Food? Not likely. Once a day, for now, until I get back on my feet a little better. When I am more active, food 'happen' more often, naturally. So I don't worry about it. I am quite used to being hungry. And, if I can get the dishes kicked out before too long, I will get a shower taken as well. Another cup of coffee would be great, and a little time to process. Well, right after resetting a hot rinse for the dishes and putting a load of laundry in. Good day.
Monday, July 21, 2014
Do you ever wonder?
.
.
I dream of things dark. I know what beats in me is beastly, to some who do not understand. Unleashed it could eat the world. True, but it is not by my will, but by His. I have some belief that it is immortal in a unique way. I even have some notion that this is not it's first, or probably last, time here. Divergence, sure. Just notions, though not beyond the pale. Not even theologically.
.
I dream of things dark. I know what beats in me is beastly, to some who do not understand. Unleashed it could eat the world. True, but it is not by my will, but by His. I have some belief that it is immortal in a unique way. I even have some notion that this is not it's first, or probably last, time here. Divergence, sure. Just notions, though not beyond the pale. Not even theologically.
Not much, a bit though.
.
.
I doubt if laundry can go forward. Going out isn't possible. I did get the trash together, and out. Cleaning the cat litter while I was at it. It wasn't completely foul, as I had worried. Bad enough though. Some dumping, some additive, some clearing, and that mess is back in order. I may set the dishes to another hot soak, and try to get to those before I crash. Even that is a bit iffy. When I am feeble, I am feeble. Unless you hit me upside the head with a brick or shoot at me. That's what it takes for some to get their boogie on. Not even sure, in absolute terms, if that choreography is even worth a damn anymore. Certainly not by professional standards.
Oh, I also reset my medicine sets. I have been taking medicine precisely for the last three days. As I suspected, it is both helping and hurting. Feeling better, but it is as if my butt turned to lead. Or... more leaden. :) Race you! To a chair. I'll win that one. Only one chair? I'll floor you. I've also done just a bit of minor tinkering. It doesn't seem like much, but it is a stirring. After weeks of doldrums, even the whisper of some wind is a... bolster to faith that there might be more.
I have been tinkering with my katana, in my down time. No, not really swings or slicing. If you understand one weapon, in essence, you understand them all. A weapon is everything and anything you can control... if some are better than others. A weapon is an object, in one sense, not associated with your biological form. Hands can be weapons, and the primary weapon is the mind, will. But that is esoteric. Quite true, quite visceral, very real, most don't understand such a notion. So I will stick with weapons being foreign objects. The way a firearm is similar to a sword, bow, lance, battle axe, or any other weapon, is that, in all cases, you manipulate the physical, external to your body, in order to strike a target. With the gun, you aim in order to land the bullet to within the tightest tolerances of your skill, the firearm, and the ammunition. With a sword, to begin, you want to control the point of the blade. And, so, I have been practicing getting the tip to touch very small dots.
Oh, I will never truly master a sword. I am decent, with my European hand and a half. But the katana is far too long to be practical. It is more of an art than a weapon. If it might have applications. If I wished to have practical blades, I would choose the ko-katana, and might. I can handle two of those at once. And they are truly far more... precise and sure. Still, it was something to do when the show was being overly melodramatic. The dang thing is sharp though. Learn to respect your tools and they will respect you. Or, really, you will respect yourself by respecting honorably your tools. Depends on if you wish to consider it artistically or practically. I was in a daze, most of the last few weeks, so... But respect rightly and no worries.
Yes, I will rest the dishes to a fresh rinse, goof a bit, do those, then maybe cook a bit or just sleep. I want to push to 17:00, but no more. Yesterday was an aberration caused by frustration in that I had places to go and things to do and did little. The engine was running but the drive could not engage. Even today it is similar. But I do need my sleep as I try to dig out. Later.
.
I doubt if laundry can go forward. Going out isn't possible. I did get the trash together, and out. Cleaning the cat litter while I was at it. It wasn't completely foul, as I had worried. Bad enough though. Some dumping, some additive, some clearing, and that mess is back in order. I may set the dishes to another hot soak, and try to get to those before I crash. Even that is a bit iffy. When I am feeble, I am feeble. Unless you hit me upside the head with a brick or shoot at me. That's what it takes for some to get their boogie on. Not even sure, in absolute terms, if that choreography is even worth a damn anymore. Certainly not by professional standards.
Oh, I also reset my medicine sets. I have been taking medicine precisely for the last three days. As I suspected, it is both helping and hurting. Feeling better, but it is as if my butt turned to lead. Or... more leaden. :) Race you! To a chair. I'll win that one. Only one chair? I'll floor you. I've also done just a bit of minor tinkering. It doesn't seem like much, but it is a stirring. After weeks of doldrums, even the whisper of some wind is a... bolster to faith that there might be more.
I have been tinkering with my katana, in my down time. No, not really swings or slicing. If you understand one weapon, in essence, you understand them all. A weapon is everything and anything you can control... if some are better than others. A weapon is an object, in one sense, not associated with your biological form. Hands can be weapons, and the primary weapon is the mind, will. But that is esoteric. Quite true, quite visceral, very real, most don't understand such a notion. So I will stick with weapons being foreign objects. The way a firearm is similar to a sword, bow, lance, battle axe, or any other weapon, is that, in all cases, you manipulate the physical, external to your body, in order to strike a target. With the gun, you aim in order to land the bullet to within the tightest tolerances of your skill, the firearm, and the ammunition. With a sword, to begin, you want to control the point of the blade. And, so, I have been practicing getting the tip to touch very small dots.
Oh, I will never truly master a sword. I am decent, with my European hand and a half. But the katana is far too long to be practical. It is more of an art than a weapon. If it might have applications. If I wished to have practical blades, I would choose the ko-katana, and might. I can handle two of those at once. And they are truly far more... precise and sure. Still, it was something to do when the show was being overly melodramatic. The dang thing is sharp though. Learn to respect your tools and they will respect you. Or, really, you will respect yourself by respecting honorably your tools. Depends on if you wish to consider it artistically or practically. I was in a daze, most of the last few weeks, so... But respect rightly and no worries.
Yes, I will rest the dishes to a fresh rinse, goof a bit, do those, then maybe cook a bit or just sleep. I want to push to 17:00, but no more. Yesterday was an aberration caused by frustration in that I had places to go and things to do and did little. The engine was running but the drive could not engage. Even today it is similar. But I do need my sleep as I try to dig out. Later.
When asleep and when awake.
.
.
I didn't go down until 23:30 or so. I suspected I would need a full eight hours of sleep, so gave myself nine hours, by the alarm. Hey, an alarm clock is the outfielder counting on my hate of outfielders and batters, as a pitcher, to induce me to clear the innings without a hit. I don't even like baseball. :) Shut up. Yeah, feeling a bit of wit and cock this morning. Rooster must crow! Never the whit. Thing is, I woke a bit before 3:30. *pop* Rather awake and alert, as the assist might suggest. Now, I thought it was 4:30, so I went along with it. Didn't realize the time until I was into full swing, and checked the clock then. No problems, looks to be a good day.
I dreamed last night. Several dreams. One was of corn. They had produced two nearly magical types of the stuff. One could be consumed, and nourish or burn, but remain inviolate. After the process, whatever process, the corn could be harvested fully from what should have been the leavings. Not that, in all cases, even in the dream, would I have recommended that. The other corn was consumed, but not. I don't remember the mechanics of how that worked, perhaps a form of regeneration. In any case, it was I was who tasked with deciding which to use. But there was one company that wanted to obtain all rights to the corn that remained inviolate, and never use it, just keep it as a bargaining chip... like gold. They would not feed the world, create fuel, only manipulate the markets with it. They were brilliant, and evil. I chose to stick with regular corn. No, I am not against gmo's. But these were purely unnatural.
There was another dream, in which God was speaking with me. He offered to allow me to choose the fate of mankind, in various ways. I can't remember all of it, the details of the control. It was sort of a pop quiz on what I thought men should, and should not, be. I erred on the side of letting each man decide what was right and wrong, to seek out his conscience, truth, and God, as he so desired. I don't like how men are. I don't like what we do. I simply do not believe I, or any system at this point but the one God set in motion, should have, or can have, any good results through control, or reality changes, or limits. Agonizingly frustrating, slow, meandering, and hard is the way. But it is the only way to find the gifts God has set for us. And then accept or reject those gifts. Childish, brooding, obstinate, willful, and many other things, but God went through this before us and waits on the other side for those who decide to try maturity. He carries us when we fail, if we simply do not give up. Not a change, not a smidgen, did I request. Only that, in our foolishness, He continue to abide us. Me as much, or more at times, than any other.
I didn't write them, I just had them. Oh, and God said to say hello. :) I must admit, that was one of the most powerful dreams I have ever had. Even while dreaming it I felt... as if in an alternate reality, beyond that of dreamscapes. Time and space seemed to warp, even in the dream. Imagine if a mountain should speak to you using thunder as a voice, while you are deep in space, under water, with massive weightlessness. I don't really know how else to try to explain it. Oh, not that literal, just... on the fringes, I knew the dream was that different. It put me to ease while terrifying me, somehow.
I washed the dishes I had set to soak, then set them to a rinse. I am hoping to put a load of laundry in this morning. Oh, and I didn't get the trash out, so I need to do that in a few hours. I probably can't do two things back to back, so I will finish with the trash, including changing the cat litter, in a few hours. Rest a bit, then start in on laundry. While I was at dishes, I cleaned out the microwave and hit the counters and cooktop. It's just a start on the counters and cooktop, but a decent one, for the day and into recovery.
While I missed three events yesterday, there is another today. It is considered quite important, in my book, as well. I do not know if I can make it, however. It has been so long since I have been out, and on my feet for very long. A man lost his young adult son. A thing that should not happen. His only son. Swimming, pushing his limits, and he drowned. He was with others but they did not see him go down. I would trade my life, but that is not how God set things to happen. I do harbor some jealousy. To know one life and one death? But I can only guess at the pain of the family. I have lost brothers, a woman and child. But not a son I had grown to know, raise. And I can deny, usually do. Just working on the fumes. They are immersed in it. I just don't know if I can make it. I honestly can barely walk. We'll see.
Well, on to another day in the sandbox. Off to a good start, but already with more to do than I think I can do. Some heavies, some light, some work done and remaining. I'll give it a shot. Later.
.
I didn't go down until 23:30 or so. I suspected I would need a full eight hours of sleep, so gave myself nine hours, by the alarm. Hey, an alarm clock is the outfielder counting on my hate of outfielders and batters, as a pitcher, to induce me to clear the innings without a hit. I don't even like baseball. :) Shut up. Yeah, feeling a bit of wit and cock this morning. Rooster must crow! Never the whit. Thing is, I woke a bit before 3:30. *pop* Rather awake and alert, as the assist might suggest. Now, I thought it was 4:30, so I went along with it. Didn't realize the time until I was into full swing, and checked the clock then. No problems, looks to be a good day.
I dreamed last night. Several dreams. One was of corn. They had produced two nearly magical types of the stuff. One could be consumed, and nourish or burn, but remain inviolate. After the process, whatever process, the corn could be harvested fully from what should have been the leavings. Not that, in all cases, even in the dream, would I have recommended that. The other corn was consumed, but not. I don't remember the mechanics of how that worked, perhaps a form of regeneration. In any case, it was I was who tasked with deciding which to use. But there was one company that wanted to obtain all rights to the corn that remained inviolate, and never use it, just keep it as a bargaining chip... like gold. They would not feed the world, create fuel, only manipulate the markets with it. They were brilliant, and evil. I chose to stick with regular corn. No, I am not against gmo's. But these were purely unnatural.
There was another dream, in which God was speaking with me. He offered to allow me to choose the fate of mankind, in various ways. I can't remember all of it, the details of the control. It was sort of a pop quiz on what I thought men should, and should not, be. I erred on the side of letting each man decide what was right and wrong, to seek out his conscience, truth, and God, as he so desired. I don't like how men are. I don't like what we do. I simply do not believe I, or any system at this point but the one God set in motion, should have, or can have, any good results through control, or reality changes, or limits. Agonizingly frustrating, slow, meandering, and hard is the way. But it is the only way to find the gifts God has set for us. And then accept or reject those gifts. Childish, brooding, obstinate, willful, and many other things, but God went through this before us and waits on the other side for those who decide to try maturity. He carries us when we fail, if we simply do not give up. Not a change, not a smidgen, did I request. Only that, in our foolishness, He continue to abide us. Me as much, or more at times, than any other.
I didn't write them, I just had them. Oh, and God said to say hello. :) I must admit, that was one of the most powerful dreams I have ever had. Even while dreaming it I felt... as if in an alternate reality, beyond that of dreamscapes. Time and space seemed to warp, even in the dream. Imagine if a mountain should speak to you using thunder as a voice, while you are deep in space, under water, with massive weightlessness. I don't really know how else to try to explain it. Oh, not that literal, just... on the fringes, I knew the dream was that different. It put me to ease while terrifying me, somehow.
I washed the dishes I had set to soak, then set them to a rinse. I am hoping to put a load of laundry in this morning. Oh, and I didn't get the trash out, so I need to do that in a few hours. I probably can't do two things back to back, so I will finish with the trash, including changing the cat litter, in a few hours. Rest a bit, then start in on laundry. While I was at dishes, I cleaned out the microwave and hit the counters and cooktop. It's just a start on the counters and cooktop, but a decent one, for the day and into recovery.
While I missed three events yesterday, there is another today. It is considered quite important, in my book, as well. I do not know if I can make it, however. It has been so long since I have been out, and on my feet for very long. A man lost his young adult son. A thing that should not happen. His only son. Swimming, pushing his limits, and he drowned. He was with others but they did not see him go down. I would trade my life, but that is not how God set things to happen. I do harbor some jealousy. To know one life and one death? But I can only guess at the pain of the family. I have lost brothers, a woman and child. But not a son I had grown to know, raise. And I can deny, usually do. Just working on the fumes. They are immersed in it. I just don't know if I can make it. I honestly can barely walk. We'll see.
Well, on to another day in the sandbox. Off to a good start, but already with more to do than I think I can do. Some heavies, some light, some work done and remaining. I'll give it a shot. Later.
Sunday, July 20, 2014
Okay, more forward than static.
.
.
Not backward either. Three social events today, however, were missed. One I knew about, two I didn't. On most days this summer, I would have been able to make at least one, perhaps two. Today isn't most days. I am doing better, but recovery is painfully slow. After the dishes and shower, I set another load of dishes to go. There isn't much, but... I was feeling perky. Perky? No! How about... able? Yes, that would be it. Within some restraints. I also bagged up trash, and will be getting that out today. Trash day, I think. And, I might try to do a load of laundry.
The events are ones I would dearly have wished to attend. People I know and care about were involved, as the main people. I simply could not get function, or even track time. And I worry about some things. A shower can clean the body, but... I worry if I smell from the cave being let go for so long. Which is why tending the cave is the highest priority. But that wasn't all of it, just a side worry. I honestly couldn't make heads or tails of life enough to figure out how to do what would be required. If I handed most of you a calculus problem, you would feel the same sort of confusion. One thing at a time, slowly, and then maybe another thing.
Laundry would help. And taking out the trash will help. Redoing the cat litter will help. And then opening up the house in the cool parts of the day will help. Showering more often will help. I was walking the walk of life at a gingerly pace there for a bit. I am back to crawling. I do hope I can rise, again, even yet this summer. No promises. Just a hope. But it is one thing at a time, and great focus, at times, to even do that. I am back on my medicine. Well on it. I don't know, for sure, if I need adjustment time or not.
I need to figure out how to get to the store before long. Hopefully this week. No promises. Getting out is a whole level or three above my ability. At the pace I am improving, however, I should be up and back to some normalcy in a week or two. It's just the way it goes.
I have started playing The Last of Us. It is something new to do. At first I really didn't like the game. Then I realized it wasn't the game. I had sought advice before playing, foolishly. While the advice might be good for some aspects, or difficulty levels, of the game, it didn't turn out to be very good in a general way. Well, and learning the controls, when I am down, is... painfully slow. Toss in a dose of cynicism and... there you go. After a bit of trial and error, I have found myself rather enjoying the game. Oddly, I don't... empathize with the lead much. Fact is, it's because we are a bit too close in real terms. Who wants to be a putz that just happens to be barely quicker than the next threat, vulnerable emotionally and physically, and with a learning curve that is a bit difficult? Oh, and in his forties. Never mind. The game might help me... tick my life back up a bit.
Well... I best either put a load of laundry in now, or forget about it? I hate to say it, but I think I will leave that off until tomorrow. I will try to remember to get the trash out. But I am waking early enough that if I can't do it now, I can do it before the truck arrives. Later. And... have a good day, if you can.
.
Not backward either. Three social events today, however, were missed. One I knew about, two I didn't. On most days this summer, I would have been able to make at least one, perhaps two. Today isn't most days. I am doing better, but recovery is painfully slow. After the dishes and shower, I set another load of dishes to go. There isn't much, but... I was feeling perky. Perky? No! How about... able? Yes, that would be it. Within some restraints. I also bagged up trash, and will be getting that out today. Trash day, I think. And, I might try to do a load of laundry.
The events are ones I would dearly have wished to attend. People I know and care about were involved, as the main people. I simply could not get function, or even track time. And I worry about some things. A shower can clean the body, but... I worry if I smell from the cave being let go for so long. Which is why tending the cave is the highest priority. But that wasn't all of it, just a side worry. I honestly couldn't make heads or tails of life enough to figure out how to do what would be required. If I handed most of you a calculus problem, you would feel the same sort of confusion. One thing at a time, slowly, and then maybe another thing.
Laundry would help. And taking out the trash will help. Redoing the cat litter will help. And then opening up the house in the cool parts of the day will help. Showering more often will help. I was walking the walk of life at a gingerly pace there for a bit. I am back to crawling. I do hope I can rise, again, even yet this summer. No promises. Just a hope. But it is one thing at a time, and great focus, at times, to even do that. I am back on my medicine. Well on it. I don't know, for sure, if I need adjustment time or not.
I need to figure out how to get to the store before long. Hopefully this week. No promises. Getting out is a whole level or three above my ability. At the pace I am improving, however, I should be up and back to some normalcy in a week or two. It's just the way it goes.
I have started playing The Last of Us. It is something new to do. At first I really didn't like the game. Then I realized it wasn't the game. I had sought advice before playing, foolishly. While the advice might be good for some aspects, or difficulty levels, of the game, it didn't turn out to be very good in a general way. Well, and learning the controls, when I am down, is... painfully slow. Toss in a dose of cynicism and... there you go. After a bit of trial and error, I have found myself rather enjoying the game. Oddly, I don't... empathize with the lead much. Fact is, it's because we are a bit too close in real terms. Who wants to be a putz that just happens to be barely quicker than the next threat, vulnerable emotionally and physically, and with a learning curve that is a bit difficult? Oh, and in his forties. Never mind. The game might help me... tick my life back up a bit.
Well... I best either put a load of laundry in now, or forget about it? I hate to say it, but I think I will leave that off until tomorrow. I will try to remember to get the trash out. But I am waking early enough that if I can't do it now, I can do it before the truck arrives. Later. And... have a good day, if you can.
On to waking and planning!
.
.
Yes, dishes, then a shower. I just hated not being able to plan. But I knew that planning led to having too much on my plate and I would freeze. Or... that's what I am suggesting. So, rather than spending time waking, I got right to it. Now I can plan.
Setting up the hoses to water the garden, and setting the timer for 21:00 or so, is a major goal. The next thing I hope to do is to sand the top of the workbench and install several more brackets into the pegboard. If I have anything left after that I will bolt the vice and grinder down to the top, and a few other things. Yes, I know. Long time in the process but I can't worry about that. If I let some things get to my head, heart, I would never get to anything. It might seem that way, but that isn't the truth. At a snails pace, but I have moved mountains, with the givens and give or take, in the last decade. My mountain may be your molehill, to each their own. Further, I wouldn't recommend walking in my shoes. You wouldn't survive. Not all of the mountain I have moved is strictly visible. So... what's your problem. *grin*
Smarmy? More like cocky. Taking the shower and doing the dishes tickled my fancy. Such little things, but impossible things until today, and for a while. I was amazed though. It's been a... while since I could shower. And yet... I was clean. My hair was a little rough, but my body? It was as if I had showered yesterday. Trust me, my nose and senses work fine. I thought I would be extremely gnarly, like a week in the bush. A blessing, of sorts.
Well, on to waking. Then getting those plans underway. It's been a while since I ate. I have food coming in today, but if I get things done by noon, I may sneak into town for lunch and just a smidgen of shopping. Cream and milk are sorely missed. Canned milk and dehydrated milk just don't cut the mustard, they simply... suffice, mostly. Later.
.
Yes, dishes, then a shower. I just hated not being able to plan. But I knew that planning led to having too much on my plate and I would freeze. Or... that's what I am suggesting. So, rather than spending time waking, I got right to it. Now I can plan.
Setting up the hoses to water the garden, and setting the timer for 21:00 or so, is a major goal. The next thing I hope to do is to sand the top of the workbench and install several more brackets into the pegboard. If I have anything left after that I will bolt the vice and grinder down to the top, and a few other things. Yes, I know. Long time in the process but I can't worry about that. If I let some things get to my head, heart, I would never get to anything. It might seem that way, but that isn't the truth. At a snails pace, but I have moved mountains, with the givens and give or take, in the last decade. My mountain may be your molehill, to each their own. Further, I wouldn't recommend walking in my shoes. You wouldn't survive. Not all of the mountain I have moved is strictly visible. So... what's your problem. *grin*
Smarmy? More like cocky. Taking the shower and doing the dishes tickled my fancy. Such little things, but impossible things until today, and for a while. I was amazed though. It's been a... while since I could shower. And yet... I was clean. My hair was a little rough, but my body? It was as if I had showered yesterday. Trust me, my nose and senses work fine. I thought I would be extremely gnarly, like a week in the bush. A blessing, of sorts.
Well, on to waking. Then getting those plans underway. It's been a while since I ate. I have food coming in today, but if I get things done by noon, I may sneak into town for lunch and just a smidgen of shopping. Cream and milk are sorely missed. Canned milk and dehydrated milk just don't cut the mustard, they simply... suffice, mostly. Later.
Still better, but just.
.
.
I am feeling better, just not doing better. My plans simply didn't work out yesterday. I have reset the dishes for a fresh rinse and... hold the plans over. There is too much to do. I have almost nothing to give. My day is back in day, mostly, but without effort, it just rolled around on it's own. I will try to keep it there. I went to bed at about 17:00, set the alarm for 2:00, but didn't wake until almost 4:00. I heard the alarm but could do little more than shut it off. I'll keep working on that.
I look around the world, at the faithful, at myself. It would be easy to fall to sorrow. I simply refuse. Even if I can't reach out to it, I keep looking for a handhold, a way out. If I or the world slips, I just look to the next viable path. It is fallen, and deeply. As am I. Truth is, we will never dig ourselves out. We can be in a better or worse position, however, and that is my goal and I extend it to the world with what little I have to give on any front. We won't get there by feeling good, or bad, or anything. We either get to a better position through effort or we fall to a worse position through doubt. I choose to ignore feelings when work is possible, dealing with emotions when I can't work, or try to work. I am in the "trying" mode, hoping to break through to actual work. No time for feelings right now.
I need to wake first. An hour or two then, hopefully, hit the dishes and take a shower. I won't put anything else up, so as not to become overwhelmed, until those things are done. Later.
.
I am feeling better, just not doing better. My plans simply didn't work out yesterday. I have reset the dishes for a fresh rinse and... hold the plans over. There is too much to do. I have almost nothing to give. My day is back in day, mostly, but without effort, it just rolled around on it's own. I will try to keep it there. I went to bed at about 17:00, set the alarm for 2:00, but didn't wake until almost 4:00. I heard the alarm but could do little more than shut it off. I'll keep working on that.
I look around the world, at the faithful, at myself. It would be easy to fall to sorrow. I simply refuse. Even if I can't reach out to it, I keep looking for a handhold, a way out. If I or the world slips, I just look to the next viable path. It is fallen, and deeply. As am I. Truth is, we will never dig ourselves out. We can be in a better or worse position, however, and that is my goal and I extend it to the world with what little I have to give on any front. We won't get there by feeling good, or bad, or anything. We either get to a better position through effort or we fall to a worse position through doubt. I choose to ignore feelings when work is possible, dealing with emotions when I can't work, or try to work. I am in the "trying" mode, hoping to break through to actual work. No time for feelings right now.
I need to wake first. An hour or two then, hopefully, hit the dishes and take a shower. I won't put anything else up, so as not to become overwhelmed, until those things are done. Later.
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