It is the sucradrops.

.
.
Not their fault, just the way of it.  After the last read, I had a quart of tea sweetened with a very few drops from a freshly opened container of the generally better brand.  Blood sugar is 204 at a 41 point rise.  I doubt if I drank half the quart.  Most likely, over time, I have become susceptible to it.  As I have with all sweeteners.

On the good side, as blood sugar is generally dropping and the heart isn't back dumping blood into the lungs as much, my thirst has diminished so there is less need for the water pill.  I still drink between a gallon and an half and two gallons a day.  At this altitude and reduced humidity, given my size, it's not excessive.  Without being able to sweeten tea, I will probably have to cut more.  Tea, and water even more, cause my throat to close after a certain volume, half my current consumption?  Close.

I don't know if this is the only problem.  It is a start.  Why it kicked up the storm just recently is anybodies guess.  It is going to be difficult to surrender sweetener, but nothing has been easy.  Tobacco was downright brutal, carbs and drink have been easier, this?  I am hoping it will be just like those, slightly complicated but doable.

I do have other sweeteners, for occasional food use.  They are far less sweet and don't cause problems.  Something about heating sweeteners also means they cause fewer problems.  Yes, I have suspected, seen troubles brewing on this front before.  It would come and go.  Now it looks like the problem has become permanent?  That is how I am taking it.

The neighbor, who has been mowing, fractured his leg.  I thought I had more time to get to mowing due to that, but he was right on it.  He mowed yesterday.  I don't think he'll be doing that soon again.  I'll take over, should do their yard too.  The rumbling and bouncing hurt too much.  While he was backing the mower in, listening to his mp3, he didn't see me go out.  So... I started barking, like a big dog.  *Woof!  Woof, woof!*  Got him!  He was sure it was a real big dog, turned very cautiously.  Why so serious?  Life is good.  Later.

I may have solved it? Part of it.

.
.
Going without sweeteners most of yesterday and the day before, I decided to have sweetener.  Over the last two hours all I consumed was that tea.  My blood sugars ended at 212 from a previous reading of 147 after which I dose with a small meal.  Yeah.  I think, as it dehydrates, it gets stronger.  Further, if I shake the bottle, crystals enter the fluid, making it stronger still.  There is also the possibility that over time, one, or some, bodies begin to treat this stuff just like sugar.  Though this brand seems to have this affect more than others.  I will try a fresh bottle of the other brand.

It was difficult to get to sleep.  When I did get in I did sleep well.  I am sore and very tired as I wake.  On the good side, blood sugar is 163 fasting.  Medicine, aspirin, a shower, perhaps a bit of work around the cave, then in two hours another read, breakfast, and a dose if needed.  If it ends up that I have to go without sweeteners, so be it.

A visitor.

.
.
Eggs a day early.  And conversation.  The Mrs. is with their second child.  It, well, she has become a wee moody.  Yeah.  I suggested what I suggested to the other man who recently wed.  Learn fishing, camping, or howling at the moon.  Oh, well, at least he chuckled.  I asked if he would have believed me.  At first?  No.  Now?  Oh yeah.

A good long talk.  I think he is... needing a little time out.  I am thinking for as wrong as I did things, there... well...  There is that.  Life gets complicated, lonely, and tight in a hurry.  I will keep them in my prayers, see what I can do.  Even just an ear or chuckle.  So far so good.

Blood sugar is up to 142.  I plan for another meal, a lighter insulin dose, medicine, then bedtime.  The numbers are ever so slightly better.  I will just have to relax into things, do my best, and pray.  Ugh, forgot to do the rosary this morning.  Tomorrow, or as soon as possible.  Good night.

Oh well.

.
.
Blood sugar didn't drop.  It went up four points, to 195 while still fasting.  I waited another couple of hours to have breakfast and a dose.  I will test two hours after.  I just finished.  I was extra hungry, finally, so I had bacon and eggs, after a fatted tea and chia cereal.  I really needed a bigger meal.  Wanted?

The odd thing about the bacon I have is it actually needs to be cooked twice.  I bake a large portion of it, let it cool, bag, and refrigerate it.  When I am going to use it, back into the oven it goes.  Otherwise it is too rich.  I was about to stop using it until I landed on this method, which makes it edible without serious issues.

I do need sweetener, I do sometimes forget limits and use too much.  That might be part of the problem?  Probably not this time.  Besides, I have only had a single dose in the last few days.  It is very frustrating, having blood sugar be haywire without a straightforward reason.

Such a rough few days.  No pain, just tired.  Are blood sugar spikes the problem or a symptom?  Will I ever know?  I do wonder about saboteurs, honestly.  Human, ghost, other, strange things happen.  I have a few devices, I might be able to check.  It's just a matter of setting things up.
---------

Blood sugar dropped to 127 after feeding, dosing, and time.  I plan on another larger meal, regardless of the next read.  I will simply take insulin if need be.  With this reading I didn't take insulin.  I'm not sure, anymore, if this is correct.

But it was working for most of the time... actually all of the first month... not taking insulin when blood sugar was at or below 130.  Oh, as well, I have been taking higher doses of insulin when the reading was 180 or higher, but only recently.  I'm not sure about that either.  It almost seems to have the wrong effect, as with steering on ice.

Back to the basics.  See where things settle.  Make single changes, if it isn't working.  See if a change works.  If it isn't working back to basics for a bit, then try another change.  Or if it works, but isn't enough, try another incremental change.  Big changes can be dangerous.  Later.

Not better, yet.

.
.
At 181 fasting blood sugar was still high.  Consuming no coffee or sweetener yesterday, cutting calories, and keeping absolutely to keto, the strictest version of it, I had some hope this first read would be better.  I set an alarm for two hours, will check, eat, and dose then.  Why would my system be working flawlessly for nearly a month, only to fail without any changes to it?  However, that is something I have faced with all my illnesses, blind setbacks without rhyme or obvious cause.

Even if ejection fraction has improved, the heart is badly misshapen.  As well, other organs are at various stages of difficulty.  It is unknown if they can improve.  Some believe so, but without solid conviction.  Perhaps any of those organs simple require low function from time to time.  I don't have a better answer, especially after cutting all potential problems.  Well, except raising consumption, which I don't believe would help.

I will be adding even more of the righter foods, if not by a large amount.  A bit more fatty meat, more of the better veggies, a bit more chia, more frequency than volume.  Last month was a little tight.  This month is just a bit better.  Then next month is a bit better still.  Still tight, with a quarter of my income still being denied for political reasons.

Oh, I am trying various things for keto.  A seaweed snack, for instance.  The best I could find still used canola and another seed oil  (not the best) but along with olive oil.  All else is good.  You don't get much, perhaps zero carbs?  It is almost along the idea of eating spider webs, if salted with seawater, then having that flavor dehydrated into it.  At ~$9 for twenty packs, and it actually having a mildly satisfying affect as to hunger... plus it can be used as a potato chip replacement with a keto sandwich, it is sat.

The other thing I am trying is wild caught sardines.  They actually don't cost much more by the dozen.  But this first group is absolutely tops.  It wasn't excessively boiled in the can.  Of course, in olive oil.  If I could find it in it's own juices I would try it.  Quality sardines, wild caught and properly handled and processed, aren't the nast mushy excessively fishy tasting mongrels I used to know.  These are pristine delights, not requiring crackers.  I will be trying several other brands.  I wouldn't mind having a decent stock of these, enough for three packs a week for a year or two... 52 times... 104~156?  Yeah, I could do that.  And rotate, reorder after 50 are used.  A full selfcontained smaller meal.  Good with olives or pickles to ofset each others excesses.

Later.

Well?

.
.
I can't say it is better.  I can say it could definitely be worse.  Blood sugar is at 135 or up fourteen points.  The only thing consumed being chia cereal mix and plain tea, not much of either.  I went with an half recipe and have been nursing the same half gallon of tea since before the second to last blood draw.  Hmm, perhaps that might work out?

I have only used insulin once.  By the numbers, on the one hand, I could have dosed twice.  However, by the original method I wouldn't dose after that initial fasting draw.  That was working.  I changed that recently, I am changing it back.  Something went wrong.  That wasn't it but it may have been harming.

No work today.  Something was wrong.  I am not sure blood sugar will do that?  All I know is I couldn't get to work.  No pain, just groggy, slogging through life, weary.  I have some reason to hope the reads will improve, actually.  It did go up, but I did eat.  And it didn't go up all that much, if sometimes it goes down a bit.  Will find out soon enough.  Good night.
------

Just had to check... down to 123... whatever that means.

Better, yet very odd.

.
.
As mentioned, technique seemed more important.  So a meal, then a dose, a slightly stronger dose.  After two hours, another fatted tea and test.  Blood sugar dropped to 201.  I... it was a good drop.  I didn't want to dose again.  I am wondering about overdosing, but that having strange affects.  I think my suspicion was correct.

Another two hours on, another test.  At 121 I won't complain.  Sure, I would like it lower, but given the recent runs, I will take this.  With cream back in good supply, I am thinking chia and flax cereal, with a small group of various nuts.  Then I will check one more time and attempt an early bedtime.

Very strange.  I will keep to the plan.  Going off schedule can kill.  Later.

Crazy.

.
.
With blood sugar high, I did nothing.  I didn't eat and drank only plain tea.  Two hours later, blood sugar read 257 in a continued fasting state.  *sigh*  It doesn't make a lick of sense.  I have one improbable possibility, that I can see.  Perhaps the straw I use has built up with sucradrops (liquid sucralose, about the only sweetener that has little blood sugar issues, mostly)?

Breakfast, bacon and eggs, was eaten, then a larger dose of insulin was taken.  I will also have a fatted tea, sans sweetener.  Then test two hours after.  I just don't think near fasting should do this.  Near fasting you ask?  Cutting calories to around the 1,500~1,700 mark, where a 20% reduction in calories, for weight loss, would be about 2,400 calories.  If I did the maths right, that would mean a 50~57% calorie drop.

If caloric reduction is enough, muscle can be cannibalized, which might produce insulin spikes, if I doubt they would reach anywhere near this level even with extended starvation.  No insulin at bedtime.  I just don't know.  I will use a new straw and new glasses/cups, see if that helps.  Barring that?  It may just be that flukes happen.  Later.

A late start.

.
.
I suspect with windows open and the fan going, it was cooler than it has been in some time.  Fine.  It will work out.  Brushing teeth, then medicine right off.  A shower soon, after waking a bit.  Trash, perhaps in time for pickup?  There isn't much, but as summer hits it's better to have it gone.

Then?  To finish the bathroom, bag bins, and hit the bedroom.  It is back to work, a new week, and I am hoping to get the bedroom, bathroom, and box removal completed.  Maybe most of the kitchen.  It seems every other to every third week I am able to do solid work.  This is the second week, so maybe.

I dreamed of speaking with a little sister.  She was well spoken and wise.  Too wise.  After a time I understood with whom I was speaking.  Mary.  Mother of God.  It had been and remained a very good conversation.  She wasn't telling me what to do, merely adding her wisdom to my thought processes as a charitable councillor.  She seemed pleased with my thoughts though too.  Quite a comfort once realization set in.

Yes, she knew I was a giant... called me specific names for specific sorts, if I have forgotten the terms.  She spoke the old tongue when saying them, said the words in a way I haven't heard in a very long time, part of why memory fails.  Which meant she knows I am a breed, even among giants.  Hmm, I have made purchase of several rosary pamphlets, all seem good.  I have found both blessed rosaries, which should do for now.  I will start saying the rosary again.  For mother on Monday, an particularly devout exorcist on Saturdays, a few other priorities after.  Always keeping a few days open for special needs, though an extra prayer for dire situations is possible.

Hmm.  Some tea, then to make hot tea.  Blood sugar got to 113 yesterday afternoon, then went to 136 and 161 after a final meal.  Something is just off.  This morning it was 190 fasting.  I won't keep pushing.  While something has gone wrong, I think it was food, not method.  Method had been working.  Chasing a new method is too risky.  If it goes up for a bit, so be it.  I won't chase that fox into my grave.  Later.

It isn't adding up.

.
.
Blood sugar started high.  So a dose.  Breakfast two hours later, with a dose.  Then a three hour wait and blood sugar is 143 even so.  A nap, I guess.  Which often raises blood sugar.  Rather than fussing or worrying, I will simply do as suggested, experiment a tiny bit, and be patient.

Perhaps I should have had a single chop.  While not thick they were large, and of normal thickness locally.  Cream and eggs shouldn't do too much.  I will check my various coffee sources, I had dehydrated today.  I am beginning to suspect both coffees.  A few trials will show.

It was sunny early but grew dark.  I won't say I hate it.  As long as I get sun from time to time, life is good.  I don't think it's the clouds sending me to sleep.  While I haven't worked all that much, I have been pushing to work.  As well, I have shoved my schedule back to days.  I'd best nap before it is so late it troubles my bedtime.

Breakfast.

.
.
I am getting better at frying eggs.  No, not a difficult thing.  A bit trickier if one enjoys them easy over.  This one does.  On the other hand, it is easier if one fries eggs nearly every morning.  As is becoming the way.  Washing the pan isn't needed so frequently as skill improves.  And, yes, a plain (tri-clad, albeit) stainless surface is what is used.  I no longer have sticky messes every time I fry eggs.  I have learned to keep my pan clean, even if other intentions fail.

I warmed the last two pork chops in the oven.  That is vastly superior to heating in the microwave.  Milk as well, and a fatted coffee, made breakfast a truly fine affair.  It wasn't as pretty as a restaurant, but it is better than any restaurant I have ever breakfasted.  Plus I was absolutely sure about every single ingredient.  The chops were from a local butcher with whom I am blessed to be a near neighbor, the eggs are from a closer near neighbor and friend, the milk is raw, brought by a close neighbor I consider as kin... leaving only the cook in a bit of doubt.

I didn't test blood before the meal.  I will in, say, three hours.  Go from there.  It should be better.  I would love a nap, but it seems a bit early.  I can't believe how good it was.  Cooked and heated properly, food... simple items, done humbly... can be incredible.  Hunger, or barring that as keto kicks in, rarer consumption and smaller amounts, add a special spice.

Good morning and day.  Oh, and get to church.  I would, but even with great pressure I have failed to be able to be out except at the beginning and end of the whole last month.  Ugh.  I'll... work on it myself.  If you make it, spot me a prayer while there.  God knows all, but He likes to hear, even if from messengers.

That just isn't right.

.
.
As bedtime came and went, I checked blood sugar every one and an half to two hours. The last read was 113, at 22:30, which was good.  Still, it does that then cranks up in the night.  So I tried a small dose of insulin.  Nope.  At 188 fasting it is worse than yesterday.  Perhaps I am being too calorie restricting, or am not eating enough at night?  I have been fasting for the last four to even six hours as last night for the latter.  Perhaps an early evening snack or light meal a few hour before bedtime?

At this point I don't know what will work.  My job isn't actually to figure out the whys and wherefores but merely to get my blood to do what the meter prefers, then attempt to emulate that.  As boring as regularity is, that really is the trick.  From diet, to medicine if needed, food, fluids, voiding... regularity.  Boring.  That spice of life is really what kills you.

So I am finally ready for boring?  Well, mostly.  If boring for me is probably not boring for you.  There is that.  Furthermore, my boring would kill not only some other unhealthy people, but some regulars.  Even so, boring, to a degree, is how it goes.  I am doing my best.  On the good side, I think the doctors believe me and are working better with me.  Oh, well, I missed my morning dose yesterday.  But the first time in a month, two?  Boring.

Now if I could work more regularly.  I probably do ten hours housework a week.  To maintain (assuming it was all somehow caught up) I would probably need to double that.  Dishes, laundry, floors, dusting, and keeping the joint kempt takes time.  To catch up, by myself?  That would take three or four forty hour weeks, sixty hour?  Twenty of that would be, in greater parts as I worked through, going to maintenance.

As is, I am trying to catch up and maintain with far too few hours.  I am getting there, in small areas.  And then maintaining partly, if by not using the area.  Every time I do a large chunk, I end up crashing for a few weeks.  I will keep at it.  Perhaps as the sun begins to shine, especially if I can keep to days...  Later.

No work if a reasonable day.

.
.
I did grill chops and chicken thighs.  I only ate chops, with unsweetened apple sauce and milk sides.  Darned good.  I didn't need more to eat.  So I let the chicken cool and bagged it.  I will bone it tomorrow or Monday, making chicken salad of it soon.  You know, a small handful of pecans, walnuts, or such, would boost flavor, add crunch, and generally improve the texture.  As would a few stalks of celery.  Noice!

Five hours after my last test, three or four hours after dinner, and blood sugar is at 112. It won't hold.  But it is a good sleeping number.  It will eventually even out.  Two insulin doses today, two and a half meals... good enough.  I... it is improving.  If those weird skidding events would mellow.

I called my mom yesterday.  No answer.  Again today, if I worried it would be too late.  It seemed so.  Then she called back.  She is at an important wedding.  Seems the season.  Just a short discussion.  Can tell she was all estrogened up.  Weddings, more certain ones.  I let it slide or she would have bawled.  I wouldn't have minded, but she would have been embarrassed.  Weddings...  Women...

It is a bit late.  I best hit it.  Good night.  Oh, a non-musical treat.  I understand, hoping you can.  Worth a listen.  You may have to translate for American, on some of it.  Well worth it.  Nothing I don't get, but a solid collection for any.  Good night.

Very odd.

.
.
The fatted coffee, four eggs, and about four pieces of bacon (I say "about" because I buy odds and ends) boosted my blood sugar to 129, a sixty eight point jump.  I wonder if sensitivity to food is increased at lower blood sugar levels?  While that isn't a terrible read, it is a huge leap.

It isn't the numbers, by themselves, that are the problem.  It is the precipitous jumps, with no real reason.  A bit fast.  I'll... go back to p's and q's.  I had been pushing squaring the circle.  But that shouldn't have caused such a jump.  Oh, but I am beginning to woder if coffee can bump my glucose.  Bacon and eggs haven't before.  Perhaps this bacon?

No nap, or layering, yet.  I'm really thinking about both now that blood sugar is... in a better place.  Yes, I could sense a problem, which is why I tested when I did.  Oh, two smaller pickles and the quarter cup of olives?  They should be keto-friendly.  Perhaps the total volume?  Strange.  Later or more later.

Better take care.

.
.
Hunger hit hard, fast.  The next blood test wasn't supposed to be for another almost hour.  If something doesn't feel right, and it didn't, then checking early is best.  Blood sugar had dropped seventy two points, down to 61.  Wow, a bit spooky.  I hadn't started breakfast but wanted something fast, so green olives and a few smaller pickles in the hopes of staving off a further drop.  Well, and hoping to energize enough to start breakfast more proper.

It seemed to have worked.  Bacon and eggs.  I still may need a nap.  I am not worried, with food in my system, or too worried.  Wow, what a drop.  Later.

Well goodie.

.
.
A few hours in and a forty eight point drop in blood sugar.  If even at 133 it would be better lower.  A nearly double fatted coffee for now.  Eggs and bacon next, after I finish then wait three hours.  I have ingredients for a keto bread, charcoal back in stock, and thawed burger and ground lamb.  At least a few burgers would be good.  As well, chicken thighs...  This time, other than a few warm, I plan to pull the meat and make chicken salad.  I have various keto breads I want to try.

Odd.  The thermometers all read between 70 and 71 F.  Which, for me, has been, traditionally, hot.  At least that has been on the early edge of insufferable... underwear season.  Here I sit, with socks, heavy pj tops and bottoms, and of course unders, nearly shivering?  Must be lower bp and blood sugar.  Even the 181 read is far below my 200s~400s typical ranges.  I suppose I am becoming even more humanish.  Not my favorite side effect, but it couldn't be happening at a most propitious time.

Well, on to something.  So chilly, though.  And yet I don't want to turn the furnace up... then again as cool as I am, I'm not sure even 178 would help... it's a cold deep in the bones.  Ah!  An extra top and bottom layer.  Simple, really, but who ever imagines summer and layering?  Groovy, baby.

Oh, a young one is getting married today.  I do pray for that all.  And... a small thought. Hunters we are.  But the best hunter needs to understand there are far better hunters out there.  Know your limits, know your place, good fortunes, and go get em'!  Just... dog, cat, mix, match, it isn't what it seems.  *grins*

Almost late.

.
.
The alarms weren't set last night.  I woke at 3:03 but neither wanted to wake nor fiddle with the timepiece to allow for it to begin sounding, then to use snooze.  I doubt if I had the physical dexterity or intellectual facilities in the state I was in to have pulled it off anyway.  So I simply set the 5:00 alarm and crashed back to sleep.

To bed at 20:00, right at.  One final blood test, which was 128.  Then down like a rock.  Sleep was good.  Dreaming of women, again.  This time rather intimate.  More the sense than reality of sex.  Everything a man senses, but distinct parts of it, disassociated, separated, in parts.  It is rather strange that way, and never fulfilling.  Not exactly... horrible though either.  Thankfully it somehow wasn't tortuous.  It truly can be.  I seemed to have that sort of dream several times through the night, if almost all through the night.  I am surprised I am not exhausted from it.

I was hoping my fasting blood sugar would be good.  While blood sugar was rising, it had been four hours before bedtime since eating.  At least three.  At 181 it is nearly a disaster.  Although, that is a lot better than even the lower quad of the 200s.  Still, why the crazy jump?  I suspect it is from too little fat.  When I don't get enough fat, and I have fallen out of ketosis (jumped actually, as pizza will do), I think my body cannibalizes muscle for protein which releases a lot of insulin.  Currently I am still extremely insulin resistant.  That is my bet.

I ended waking at 3:41.  I was mostly able to just wake.  A bit tired but awake.  I turned off the 5:00 alarm and reset the 3:00 alarm.  I will reset the 5:00 alarm again when I go to bed.  It is good to have backup.  Cold tea is going down, fresh hot tea is in the works.  A fatted, heavily fatted... two cups of cream instead of one, tea or coffee first thing.  Insulin as well.

Oh, while I can't find non-hydrolized lard locally, and I refuse to pay fifty an half gallon, I did a bit of looking.  Some reasonably priced non-hydrolized leaf lard was found and purchased... ordered, at any rate.  As well, a supposedly better quality of ghee at a more reasonable price was found and ordered, Californian.  As a general rule you simply can't trust foreign food.  Sometimes there isn't much choice.  I used to avoid Chinese but accept Japanese.  Now I go more with SoKor or Taiwan for Oriental carpolla.  :p  Bleh.  Those, coconut fat, and butter, plus duck fat on rare special occasions, are the way to go.  So hard to find, yet not all that more expensive.

Later.

A reset.

.
.
I couldn't get to food.  Too tired, needed to rest.  So I did.  Just browsing the web.  It was a bit hot out there.  I did a good bit after being down as well.  Several hours passed, so another blood sugar test seemed reasonable.  I want to figure out lower blood sugar readings and how that all works.

It was a good number at 100 before eating anything, or drinking.  Then a fatted coffee and a small bowl of unsweetened apple sauce were consumed.  I will test almost two hours after finishing dinner, as I am going to bed.  I am well pleased, especially after splurging just the other day.

I am eating less, if I am beginning to suspect I was often overeating.  As well, less insulin is required.  It isn't perfect, but I do believe I will beat diabetes, done and done.  Soon, far sooner than later.  By the end of summer?  Maybe.  That, keeping a schedule, staying on bp meds, and exercise if possible...  As rough as things are I have doubts about a true recovery.  Though perhaps a more full life?  Maybe a lot fuller life.

I'll keep at it.  I might start planning a trip to Burning Gorge, or such?  A fall trip, maybe rafting and camping?  A gift for keeping the right day schedule?  It would be a good way to reward myself.  It'll also mean I'll need to swim, hike, paddle, and camp to get ready.  Yeah, that could work.
-----------

Finally out!

.
.
I had paperwork at the post office for the post office.  Done.  I wasn't sure about my first auto payment.  I had the money, I just wasn't able to get out to check.  I was so worried that I was late.  Nope, first payment is coming up.  Gah!   I have been choking on that.

A bit of looking and it looks like I need to renew my actual driver license, but can do that part online.  I owed my doctor some coin, and received a notice from SSD suggesting my doctor hadn't responded.  So a visit there.  The letter was rather old.  The ladies had already dealt with this, but sent something else today, just in case.  I am almost surprised nothing else has been sent.  Still, one more group of tasks finished.

I had hoped to do 'dry goods' shopping, then hit groceries.  Not possible.  Too hot.  I did dry goods, a number of items, some monthly or nearly, a few special items, gotta do it.  No chance for groceries.  I was done.  Tomorrow?  Or Monday.  I did buy coals, and have meat thawed.  Can get by.

Oh, yes, showered on my way out.  That shaved my time to about ten minutes before the post closed.  It was as good as I could do, and not bad.  Blood sugar has slowly lowered.  I have had insulin twice, early.  Then stopped eating and dosing.  It was 147 the last meal and dose, then 124, now 79.   I'm letting it go, but will have at least a fatted coffee soon, then maybe bacon and eggs.  It's easy to cook.  Crazy.  Later.

A few snooze buttons.

.
.
I wish I could say they were just for nostalgia, or even Nostalghia.  That I was in control.  I could not wake easily.  Now, I actually woke at a quarter to three, realized no alarm was set, so set them.  I wasn't sure, by how I was feeling, if I could make the three o'clock set, so also set the fiver.  Up at 3:30, so not bad.

I went to bed at a quarter or less before twenty hundred, but before the hour.  Went to sleep so fast my eyes caught light snapping shut?  It's a story.  My last blood sugar, after nothing nothing for the last four hours was 114, so I hoped this morning would be good.  Nope, it was 167 fasting.  Average is 136, for what that matters.  Pizza has consequences.

Dreams, many.  Just life with women I have known, been with.  The quiet times, working together, talking, playing cards or board games.  No matter what, I am more and more convinced it is always about sex.  Well, and dominance as it pertains to sex.  Always.  I suspect it is even that way with women I won't ever have sex with, at which time it becomes maneuvering for power positions as if, or in theoretical prep.

Women deny it but are the ones who can never set it aside or let it go.  Perhaps it is at least partly, mainly, hindbrain, certainly not all of it.  Always playing, pushing, maneuvering, scheming, plotting, and yet, to their minds, innocent even when, especially when, they are absolutely guilty.  Oddly, only when a woman has become invisible does she begin being more honest.  At that point she has nothing to offer or lose.  Still, I... love the games.  I have certain... advantages.  I definitely cheat.

Hopefully work today.  Friday already?  Oh, I said I would mow.  I'll try to remember to hit that as soon as it seems dry out there.  I actually do enjoy mowing.  With the rider it isn't work, just time.  A shower soon, then bacon and eggs?  Yeah.  Best get medicine down.  It has been a long time since I missed a dose, if I have had to push the spread a few times.  Oh, and it has been a week and more since I needed aspirin?  Wonderful!   I have been so sleepy due to the dark days that I just lost track.

A bit of waking, a shower, giving the laundry a fluff, breakfast, setting up dishes, then the bathroom?  Okies, for a start.  Later.

I've been a bit lost.

.
.
Blood sugar has been drifting upward.  It hit 136 after having a bit to eat, then 140 later.  Some food and a bit of insulin should work.  Fresh eggs, if not mentioned, are in.  Nothing fancy, other than the eggs.  Yes, they are worth mentioning.  Perhaps lamb on the side.  Not bad after pizza and soda yesterday.  Like it or not, failures will, need to, happen.  It has been a month since I broke my rules?  Longer?  Bleh.

The sun is out.  I should get out. Not sure I will.  Would burn.  Probably did yesterday.

Hmm.  Later.

Well, that is better.

.
.
I had hoped to bring blood sugar under control.  How do you do that?  You take risks.  Being as high as it was, I wasn't sure how, or the sort of risks, the level of risk required. So?  So I... Just did.  Then more.  Blindly, but with a sensitivity to death and proximity to it few can know.  Yes, so, I just did, and again, going by feel.

Four hours later a test.  At a blood sugarof 81 I would say I did well.  Time for fatted coffee, then a shower, and on to work.  Oh, fresh eggs are in!  I do believe that and bacon would be heavenly.  The other eggs indicated that they were good, but weren't.  My stomach and down is still recovering.  Fresh eggs though?  That will help.

Later.

Tic tac puzzles.

.
.
Not all that active yet.  The dreams have been haunting me.  Something was... wrong?  They weren't all mine.  Sometimes I just know.  Other times, because of my natures, it takes a while to sort out who is who, then from what was experienced what was meant.  It is spooky to watch the dreams of a woman about me, both as I am and as...  well.

Sorting her dreams from mine, for some of her dreams led to some of mine.  It is almost giving me a headache, if well worth the price of admission.  Oh yeah.  Yes.

We might see the same things.  But she would be intimating implicit off-screen interests while I would be all about explicit on-screen notions.

Awake at a good time.

.
.
When I woke, I thought it was too early.  I suspect I did wake at 23:00, perhaps 1:30, maybe both, and between the clock and how I felt, went back to sleep.  I don't remember exactly, but I was so sure it was one of those times.  I have checked the clock three times within a minute before, having forgotten I just checked it several times, to then remember and chuckle myself awake or back to sleep.  Actually I do that several times a month, sometimes a week.

This time that wasn't the case.  If I really didn't want to wake, I was sure I had slept plenty.  And I am on the hunt for a day schedule!  A year from now I want to be applying for school.  It doesn't have to be perfect, but it has to be five to six days a week.  Getting off track means shoving back to days very quickly.  And, really, up by 3:30 to 5:30 is my actual goal.  An excellent time to do homework and general study.

Dreaming.  So much of that lately.  I can't remember what, not exactly.  Swimming in pools of naked women, war, food, and God?  Crazy, maybe, but it has been wonderful.  Every night for a while now has been rather busy, dreamwise.  Not quite wall to wall, just frequent, or so it seems.

Blood sugar is quite high, at 222.  Working on it first thing.  Every once in a while blowing the thing up has to happen.  Now to figure out how to fix it.  Not enough fat this week.  I was unsure about money, or I would have found a way to get more cream.  Even the storebought for a short term emergency use would have worked.  Actually it was both money and the inability to get out.

Ugh.  Today?  I'll check the laundry, give it a last whirl then fold it.  Bag trash cans, hit the bathroom, do work in the bedroom, then go to the post office.  Waking first, as well as cold tea while I set fresh tea on.  Oh, and set dishes.  I may take another shower, just because... a quicky.  Yeah.  Later.

Going rogue and blind sticking insulin.

.
.
Hmm?  Oh, I had pizza, and soda.  Insulin can sort that out, if you don't kill yourself.  How much to add?  Uhrm, a lot.  I mean a whole bunch.

After a 111 read, I ate a small chunk of lamb, and two small slices of cabbage with butter.  Shouldn't have raised blood sugar at all.  It did, to 161.  I didn't dose until after I ate pizza, but boy did I dose.  After an hour or two, blood sugar is... 125?  I must have dosed well.  Another bite, and dose.  Yeah.  Risks, learning curves, yeah.

The goal is to stay up another hour, and more.  One more draw, just to be on the safer side.  The bed is made, laundry is finishing, but that is it.  The shower was excellent.  I'll get ready for bed then hold out for a check as close to an hour and an half more as possible.  Not great, but some of it.  I will probably update with my last read, as this serves as my blood sugar diary.  Later, probably.
---------



Oh, uhrm...

A start.

.
.
A shave, bedding washed now drying, a shower, with plans for more.  Blood sugar dropped just a bit, to 149, then 120.  I am definitely hungry.  I am hoping I have a few good eggs.  I would really like something meaty.  There are various tuna, vienna sausages, and spam.  But none of those have a real meaty taste or texture.  Hmm... perhaps fried burger or ground lamb, some added to the eggs?

Hmm, as well as the rest of the list, it would be good to soak dishes.  I should be able to get all remaining dishes going.  Oh, I do have a leg of lamb thawed.  It isn't a lot of meat, and it isn't my favorite, but it could be good later.  Mint, rosemary, salt, and pepper, slow cooked for three or four hours?  A good plan.  Hmm, if the cabbage is good that would be a good add.

Later.
--------

Blood sugar went down to 111, then up to 161 from eating four eggs, salsa, and a quart of milk.  Usually raw milk doesn't get me.  Perhaps spring milk is literally sweeter?  I'll cut it to half next time.  I alread cut salsa, which made no difference.  It is the milk.  Eggs don't do that.

The laundry should be finished soon.  Work in the bedroom before long.  The roast should be finished before long too.  I never did check the cabbage.  It it is good it would be the perfect time to slice steaks and put it in.  One second...  amazing... the cabbage was in pristine condition.  It must have just arrived.  I look them over very well.  I have walked away if necessary.  Sliced and in with the leg of lamb.  Very nice.

Still quite tired, but some chores are being done.  Yeah.  I am keeping up on what I am doing.  No nap today.  Oddly, not that kind of tired.  All good.  Oh, I keep writing these then forgetting to post.  Bleh.  Later.

Awake very early.

.
.
At seven and a half down, not really happy about it.  I am rested, so much so I couldn't go back to sleep.  Waking wasn't a choice.  It is that it is so early.  Making to later afternoon is going to be a trick.  It may require a nap around 8:00 to noon, the earlier the better, if I hate 8:00 naps.  Perhaps 10:00 would be optimal.  Though with as wonky as sleep can be I may have to take it when I can get it.

Blood sugar is 165 fasting.  That, too, is annoying.  It was 124 two hours and more after my last meal last night, several hours before bedtime.  Perhaps it is the time of my waking?  On the good side, my average has fallen to 138 for the week, 148 for two weeks, and 165 for the month.  That is quite good.  I kept wondering how I could just get a higher reading and have the average drop.  It is simple.  There are much higher readings dropping out of the set.

Goals remain the same.  I am staying well ahead of what has been done and what needs to be done.  If I could get half a dozen big projects completed this week, say keeping everything already finished topped, plus the bedroom, kitchen, and bathroom completed...  I am just on the edge of truly catching up, getting ahead.  I think I can, and will.  It may not look it, but it is closing in.

I am thinking, after waking, a shower.  I might shave right now, as I time off the hour and quarter to my next blood draw.  Then, after the test, strip bedding, take it back while airing the mattress, shower, then start that wash.  Everything from my last washes have been put up.  So easy when it is all ready to just go.

The post office today, the bed made of course, the bathroom would be easy with the toilet nearly spotless and the worst of the floor clean.  Then back to the bedroom.  Hitting that as absolutely mashingly hard as possible is the goal.  If I can't get one of the storage units up, I want to clear a space for at least one.  But I'd really like one up.  We will see.

Later.

Much better.

.
.
I am never sure.  This reading, that day, this job.  Nothing going as to work.  Just... stuck.  However blood sugar did very well.  A solid drop to 97 with a meal and standard 10 cc insulin dose.  I had another meal, or tried to eat one.  Burger crumble with cheeses, salsa, and sour cream.  I couldn't eat half.  Tasty, just...

Too tired to do anything else.  I have been looking for an opportunity to work or even nap.  Because I can't work doesn't mean I can sleep.  I am finally at the point where I could sleep.  The problem is it is too close to bedtime.  Sleeping now could mess up the day schedule.  Remember, this is the first day of the rest of my life in a day schedule!  Seriously, the game is on.  So no nap.

With sleep being long, I need to sleep early.  For now, 17:00 to 18:00 is the actual goal.  That gets me up before dawn even should I sleep for twelve hours.  Far better if I wake in eight hours.  If sleep shortens an hour or two could be added.  Not more, sometimes less.  The trick will be repairing the cycle should I be forced out of the comfort zone.

To bed in an hour, only that late so another blood sugar draw can be done.  I just want to see.  I have gotten heavy swings both ways.  At these lower levels I just have to be careful.  So tired.  Just the weather?  I've been meaning to check barometric pressure, just to see.  Currently it is 29.88, or as close as possible of a reading to my location.  Not sure what standard is.  Later.
---------

Blood sugar is 122, good enough.  Bedtime.  Good night.

Annoying.

.
.
I should have known better?  I ate right away.  As well, dosed insulin.  Four hours later, blood sugar at 152 was up ten points.  A portion of nuts, a fatted coffee, and something else.  Nothing that would usually have caused an increase in blood sugar.  How so very odd?  Perhaps... no, definitely... I shouldn't eat early.  I then had a fatted tea, and was going to have chia and ground flax cereal, but forgot the latter.  I'll get that going now, then test in a couple more hours.

Trash was sorted and put out, mostly.  Yes, to the curb.  There was some very few items overlooked, if whether more could have fit the bag is questionable.  As well, there wasn't enough more to justify another bag.  Two inside bins are being bleach rinsed as well.  Some work.  Next a shower, shave bedding, changed, and then that laundered.

Oh, I really need to check my post box!  I... am sure there are business functions requiring my immediate attention.  Later.

So much sleep.

.
.
I didn't go to bed until well after 19:30 and I just woke at 5:30.  Ten hours?  Not as bad as it seemed, if still longer than hoped.  I had thought I would be awake by 3:30.  Hoped.  I may still have time to get trash out.  A shower right after that.  I may change bedding out, then start that washing.  In there with else, morning critter duties.

Fasting blood sugar is 142.  It was 182 at bedtime, so some insulin.  Average is 143.  I was awake a bit late as I had to reset my pill box for the week.  I am amazed how well medicine has been going in.  Goals haven't changed, nor attitude.  I can't even say I am subjectively doing or feeling better.  Which throws me.

Because of the improved numbers in various areas of health, I keep trying to do more.  I believe I should be able to do more.  I want to go back to school, get my engineering degree, then get to work.  As mentioned, I would require a year of regular days and nights before considering applying through various systems.  Actually I will count today as a first day for that!  If next late May sees me still in days, it would give me the summer to apply.  Plus... being on the calendar will add motivation.

I'd best get trash gathered and out, then a shower.  Then fresh tea going for a fatted tea with a light dose of insulin... 8 cc's? 6?  I think 8 this time.  Later.

A good showing.

.
.
Not any work, but I will finish the laundry.  It wasn't dry so I reset it.  It should be done.  Blood sugar dropped to 124 after two hours, then further to 102 two hours after that, just now before supper.  Supper was light.  Two drumsticks, two tablespoons of my mother's salsa, a quarter of a can of unsweetened peaches, and half a cup of whipped cream.  Oh, and a quart of milk.

It is past 17:00, so I have kept a day schedule.  Not bad.  Laundry and then to bed.  I'll get the trash out when I wake, I hope.  Oh, a few treats for you dogs, perhaps cats too?  Good night.

A quick note.

.
.
Blood sugar jumped to 157 or 51 points.  After 104 it rose to 106.  While I did eat, the macros were keto and I doubt eight hundred calories, probably closer to five hundred calories?  Though this seems to be a time when my body seems to spike, often without eating.  Which seems very strange to me, as I don't have a regular schedule, can't keep one to save my life.  And yet my blood sugar has some regular schedule?

I did take insulin, 10 cc's as the read was above 150 and I ate just an hour ago.  I have an alarm set to check blood sugar in two hours.  If I don't nap before.  I am going to try to push through.  I want to hit mid to later afternoon before going to bed for the night.  I am attempting to steal day s back as a schedule.

Laundry is drying.  When done it will be put up right away.  Later, perhaps I can get trash out.  Just one more bag, but the bigger bags so it can go to the curb.  Perhaps a shave yet tonight to be ready for the week?  I might even hit the bedroom a bit.  So dark.  I do wish to do more work anyway, or especially?  Yes.  Later.

It's turning out better.

.
.
After an hour another blood sugar check.  At 104 It is good.  I have been so hungry I was a bit worried.  I haven't been hungry in a very long time.  Even then, no where near this level.  It is a good number, if I will check in another hour, before a real meal.  When the fresh hot tea is finished, I will have some, fatted, and a snack... perhaps an ounce of nuts or... something else.  I am out of sardines.  Will get some of those next month.

If blood sugar is good in an hour, I'll wait the regular time before testing again... generally two hours after completing the meal, so between three and four hours after my next read... which will actually be an hour after I finish tea and the snack.  I am less concerned with food going in, but still want to check with blood sugar this low.

I scouted dirty clothes after showering.  There was enough for a medium load.  If I can stay ahead, in any area, I will.  It might be done.  If so, I'll flip it to the dryer, get some tea, and... something.  Perhaps a spam or tuna melt, sans bread, or a few nuts, maybe olives.  Just enough, with tea, to cut the pangs.  Later.

Quite dark out there.

.
.
A shower, medicine, the cats, and soon the ducks.  Blood sugar was 116 an hour ago.  I dosed since sweetened tea was scheduled.  Plain tea and nothing else until two more hours and another blood draw.  All good.  Not sure what to eat.  Two drummies left, which just isn't enough.  Perhaps those while I attempt that cheese casserole.  I do have baking paper, unwaxed.  I would like to try that.

I am feeling a bit weak from hunger.  If I get a bit dizzier and weaker I might test earlier.  My body is being strange as blood sugar drops.  It just isn't used to lower blood sugar.  Actually... 91 is the read.  Really?  I do believe I will check in another hour.  I may have to eat sooner too.

I am beginning to suspect the keto sweeteners only cause spikes when blood sugar is running higher, say above 130 or 150.  Hmm, but it was 182...  I have seen this before, but thought it was a fluke.  But why my blood sugar is dropping now?  It's a bit spooky.  I will just let it run, testing more often.  It can't be injected insulin, that should be gone after four or five hours.  Unless they didn't give me the fast acting insulin.

It's good to be clean.  Later.

Almost ten hours down.

.
.
I don't have to like it.  I did need it.  I woke a a quarter to two yesterday morning, and was awake until 18:00, at least though to bed before 19:00.  Well before.  Up more than eighteen hours, easily adding one or two hours from various roundings.  on a cold dark damp day in a long line of such days?  Okay.  It wasn't all on purpose, but I was able to push through due to blood sugar concern.

Glad I did.  Fasting blood sugar is 182, running average is 150.  Improving.  I could have skipped the final snacks, but trust takes time.  The first health threshold has been reached, the average at or below 150.  The next key is to have fasting blood sugar below 150.  The next hurdle is to keep all draws below 180.  Then to get average and fasting draws to the 130s, then 100's.

I was here recently.  Actually better.  But I wasn't sure how to land the lower readings without crashing.  So I took off to come around for a second landing.  I sure hope this will be it.  I made mistakes last night, jacking my fasting a bit.  It could definitely have been worse.  Now to settle in, cut trim, relax, and taxi in.

Dreams.  Someone was outside.  Spying?  Sort of, not .gov, more a nosy neighbor for a small group of other nosy neighbors.  I didn't know this one, if I think I knew some of his kin.  He didn't see what we were calling a lion but was actually a tiger creeping up behind him.  I warned him through my window and grabbed my walking stick on my way out.  More like a staff, with a solid, perhaps iron clad root bulb at the top.

He sprinted into the garage and around the Xterra.  It was enough to lose the 'lion' for just a bit.  As it came running out, I had gotten out there.  It hadn't seen me.  I wasn't sure it was wise, but, I clobbered it on the head.  It bitched, sputtered, drew back for a lunge.  I drew back for another fast strike.  It lunged, but short of my target for striking, then veered off, careening in a new direction away from us.

My human visitor was shaken, and a bit miffed at both now holding a debt and having been so obviously caught sneaking about.  I made it clear his attitude was unsat.  I suggested he go home and that none return.  And so it was.  I liked that staff.  Iron or steel capped, taller than me, yet somehow rather light and well balanced.  I have dreamed of that staff before, both in other dreams, and of obtaining it by itself.

Other dreams.  But they have mostly faded.  Flying as a dragon.  Searching for a dire evil.  Possibly going to my end.  Such is duty.  But not a forced duty.  A gift.

Now it is time.

.
.
Blood sugar climbed to 120.  While good, I still wanted more assurance, so had a small meal.  A cup of olives, half a can of sugar free peaches plus whipped cream, and a fatted tea.  It sounds much higher carbs than it was.  The peaches have almost no affect, at least not in the past.  And the whipped cream has no carbs.  The olives might have more carbs, actually.

I will get the ducks and girls before bed.  A shower too?  If possible.  It has been a lot longer than hoped, but I have some fear about how fast blood sugar shoots down.  I think 80 is fine, but I don't wish to risk sleeping on that, or even 100 yet, without food and more experience.  Still, it's an amazing, probably good, read.

Oh, a couple videos started a thought process.  I will offer them, but will cut to the chase.  The idea is that giants might have either a lot of health issues or be biologically different.  As well, some of the health issues I have bear resemblance to those illnesses.  Further, altitude illnesses can cause similar problems, or greatly exacerbate those problems.

Troubled, so stayed up a bit longer.

.
.
The drop in blood sugar from 182 to 101 using only 10 cc's of insulin while eating a medium to large meal, with more carbs than I would usually consume, I was concerned.  So I stayed up to test in a few hours.  At that point my blood sugar was down to 80!  I decided to eat right then.  Three chicken drummies with a couple tablespoons of my mothers salsa, and a lightly fatted coffee.  A few hours on and blood sugar is back to 101.  Still, I believe I will have a full fatted tea, test in a few hours, then finally crash.

Want to be annoyed?  By curiosity?  Let's start from the top!

Awake if nothing else.

.
.
I can't be sure when I went to bed.  The intention was to be awake until 17:00.  I don't think I made it to 14:00, though I just don't know.  I fell so hard and fast I can remember nothing.  My last blood sugar read was at 13:24, which was pretty close to when I went to bed, if I had to bet.  It was 180 and I felt as if I was crashing.  Then nothing until I woke.  Fasting blood sugar was 174.  Odd.

Breakfast first thing, the leftover cheese pizza/melt.  A paper plate and microwave, at just a minute fifteen, and it was perfect.  Actually, I will never try to cook it in a pan again.  I've got a serious mess on my hands.  I will have a fatted tea in a bit, then perhaps go back to bed.  I just can't quite figure out what I am doing.

Oh well.  Later, or more likely good night.  Again.
-------

I ended up staying awake longer.  I wanted to see what blood sugar was doing.  It was 174 fasting and 182 a few hours after eating (a reasonably proportioned, definitely keto, meal).  Perturbed, I waited a few more hours.  It is 101 somehow.  I will gladly take it, if it doesn't make perfect sense.  Now I can sleep.  Good night.

Oh well.

.
.
The cheese based pizza was quite good.  Eating half of it, even so, was an effort.  I have saved leftovers for later.  The microwave, with some care, should do well with that.  I have to crash.  Just couldn't get to things or wake, really.  It has been a pleasant day.  Good night.

Ugh. There is hope.

.
.
Nothing doing so far.  Mostly.  I did start bacon going in the oven.  As well, I will make burger sausage crumble in a bit.  Then , perhaps, a cheese crust pizza.  I was looking at recipes for meatloaf but found this one.  I may yet do a meatloaf, but I'd like something quicker, simpler, and more sure to start.

Blood sugar, initially, only dropped three points to 166 as my second, still fasting, read. So a full dose of insulin went in with two ounces of pecans and hazel nuts combined, nearly that of green olives, and a fatted tea.  My blood sugar after that was 116, so no insulin I decided.  In part because I held off my next meal.  My weekly average is down to 159, two week average is at 173, and monthly is at 174 if I don't think there is more than three weeks on this unit yet?

After a bite, I am hoping to get back to work.  No pain, just... lackluster.  If I can start I might be able to hit it hard?  I called my mom, went right to message.  I think she is ticked.  I didn't think she read here anymore.  Obviously, if so, she doesn't understand. Oh, she thinks she does.  Not so much. -  She called back, all good.

Oh, the pizza?  I don't have fresh onion or green peppers.  Wouldn't use bell peppers no matter.  I think I have dehydrated mushrooms I could restore.  I have dried onion bits.  Tomatoes, canned, mozzarella cheese for the base, beef crumble and bacon for the meat, and?  Maybe anchovy paste mixed in with the base.  You would not believe how invisibly anchovy paste makes dishes incredibly more meaty tasting, and mouth-wateringly savory.  Plus it is exceptionally good for you.  So very people are even willing to try ingredients they wouldn't, generally, wish to eat alone.  If I made enough pizza to warrant, I would crack open a can of those and put them on top, if lightly.  Good in mixed green salads too.  As is, I just have the cans as rare treats.  I thought I had green olives... if so, I will slice a few for toppings as well.

A good wake.

.
.
I was waking into a more minor migraine.  I traced it, consciously as I woke.  Throbbing from the front high left center, an eighth of the orb up from my left temple, flowing back to my spine, widening as a river of pain from a bullet hole, mild flashes of light, mild nausea, light and sound sensitivity.  I have certainly had worse, but this wasn't going to be pleasant.  It was 1 :38 when I checked.

I tried to sleep a bit longer.  I remembered a woman I knew, Liz.  I remembered nuzzling her shoulder blade after sex.  I was called away, never to return.  I had learned I couldn't take them with me, or hold on.  I would never be back and they wouldn't wait even if I returned months later.  No matter what the bible says, love, especially young love, is not patient.  I remembered her scent.  She rarely wore perfume, or even deodorant, and really didn't need it.  Not quite a dream, more a near sleep recall.  I don't remember where though.  I think she was pregnant.  I'd seen that look before.  She was going to have the baby, and not tell me.  Why.  She had to know I knew.  Even then I could see with my eyes closed... some things.  Her baby isn't one I counted, since I never received active confirmation of live birth.

Couldn't fall back to sleep.  So woke at 2:08.  A nine hour sleep?  Maybe eight, if that guess has slide in it.  The headache, oddly, was mostly gone.  Fasting blood sugar was 169, a thirty point drop from the fasting blood sugar of yesterday.  Strangely I feel hungry this morning.  I went to bed feeling hunger as well.  Usually, on keto, I don't feel hunger.  As well as blood sugars are dropping I... and what I have been eating... I am positive I am in ketosis.

Strange to be hungry.  I am not used to the sensation.  More, my responses are divorced from it.  While I feel the pangs, they are no longer tied to consumption.  I merely intellectually know that eating would solve that.  I don't mind having the pain.  I will have plain, unsweetened, tea.  In two hours I will test blood again, then have a fatted tea, insulin too if the read is above 130?  115?  I just don't know what the titrated down cutoff point should be.  Hmm, I will call Tuesday, Monday being a holiday.  I may make a cheesy bacon keto meatloaf for later.

I still have the work list.  I should be able to do more, maybe a lot more?  I turned the heat up just a bit higher, and will take aspirin early rather than later.  A shower first?  Maybe.  Yeah, I'll get to things today.  I am looking forward to it.  While far from a perfect week, it has been a rather good one.  While wrestling with Death, in a gimp body, I was still able to clean and else.  Luckily Death is a slim-hipped woman girl and a brother.  Yeah, War isn't the only freak in Humansville.  Later.

Very odd.

.
.
Some work.  As well, a lengthened day.  Mopped around the toilet, folded and put away the towels, collected more garbage, put most of the dishes to soak, shaved, and several other small partial tasks.  Only laundry has been completed, all of it, including being sorted, folded or hung, and put away.

I was hoping to do more.  I realized aches and pains were holding me back.  And that I hadn't taken aspirin.  So I took aspirin.  Too late, for more work.  It did likely help to push the day well into early afternoon.  Even being overcast, damp, and cool out there.  A good day for a rough start on a tough day.

Blood sugar has been crazy.  Starting at 199, falling to 149, 102, 109, and finally 105 just now.  I am not doing a thing different.  I took insulin with a meal at 149, but not with the next meal and read.  The last two reads were without meals anyway, so insulin wouldn't have been used.  I performed an extra test just to be sure.

It is about bedtime.  Good night.

Someone thinks...

.
.
No, not thinks... is funny.

How rude?

.
.
Oh, what?  The, uhrm, punchline.  From the dream?  I had to look, but not far.

A bit more.

.
.
Not much work, some little non-listed chores.  But the waking cycle was stretched.  There is a cost.  Then again, I am in a phase in which there is no easy way out.  It will hurt, a lot, no matter what I do.  Sleep acts as a mild temporary pain reliever but my ribs and other parts end up suffering for it.  Being awake means suffering those pains, perhaps developing or exacerbating aches and pains from excessive sleep or previous work.

I still struggle to be awake and further to work.  The plans are as yesterday.  A shower, shave, laundry, dishes, trash and recycling, and work in the bedroom.  I did thaw meat, so eating shouldn't be difficult.  Some meat, some chia cereal mix, and fatted coffee make for a lightly balanced meal menu.  A few veggies wouldn't hurt.

Odd.  If I do a lot of work, or stretch my day, more if both, the aches and pains fade quickly after waking.  They don't ever completely go away, and sometimes one or another doesn't fade at all.  Still, the majority do pass if I push.  Uhrm, unless I far overdo things... not always then is suffering exacerbated, just usually... or sometimes?  Better to push, if that costs consciously and 'visibly' in the now.  What stays today is neck tension and the mild headache that goes with it.  Aspirin.

Fasting blood sugar is once again below 200.  At 178 it is still high.  Something about excessive sleep has been playing havoc with the numbers.  Raising them whether food is consumed and or insulin is thus administered or not while awake.  I have been eating keto, too, exclusively.  It just doesn't matter.  The way sleep used to lower blood sugar was when I would sleep for whole days or even weeks.  Yes, I did.  I am not ill enough anymore.  These fast short cycles somehow raise my blood sugar.  Still, with an attempt to focus food and insulin, and taking some mild risks, the numbers are improving.

Well... on to waking, then to work.  Towels, a shower, and then dishes and trash/bagging, I believe.  I'll figure the rest out after.  Oh, a dream.  Funny, to me.  I'm not even sure about sharing the punchline.  You can't handle the truth.  Maybe.  Later.

I was wrong.

.
.
I was certain sleep would quickly descend.  I felt the pull.  Aches, pains, and strains looked to be toppling me.  I didn't want to take aspirin, I couldn't remember when I took it last.  The stuff, taken too often, can cause serious bloody noses, even the low dose used with the rest of the heart meds.

I didn't try to stay awake, I simply ended up being unable to sleep.  I was able to do just a bit of work.  Getting one bag of trash out, clearing the freezer top, and getting a small load of dishes collected.  I am hoping to finish the few towels, shower, bag and finish getting trash out, and get the last batch of dishes set up.  It, this time, sounds like more than it is.  If I could hit it, using an hour would be going slow.  If... I can do that.

Medicine, aspirin since it has definitely been a while, perhaps breakfast, and meat pulled to thaw.  Then to get going on the rest.  I think I might be able to cut these down, possibly going on from there.  I'd actually like to do work in the bedroom before hitting... finishing actually... the bathroom.  I have cleaned the toilet again, and done a few other little bits in there.  Just a small bit of tidying, sweeping, and mopping.

It is getting done.  I do need food though.  Out of better eggs, might have a few store eggs.  I have learned to thaw meat in a hurry.  Wait, I have bacon.  If it's good.  Oh, yeah, it should be.  Later.

So much sleep.

.
.
It really isn't a choice.  I fail in some odd way.  Just as when everyone eventually falls asleep after their regular day.  Only I am falling asleep every few hours.  I have been eating, taking medicine, and keeping tasks, chores, and duties in mind and as actionable as possible.

I am terribly sore.  Ribs, back, thighs, everywhere lifting would cause strain.  I believe the dishes, laundry, and picking up and cleaning I did simply caught up with me.  With cool temps, dark and damp days, recovery has been slow.  I almost wonder if I have been turned into a plant!  No sun sure seems to limit and reduce healing and recovery.

A bit to eat.  A few hours awake.  Even so, I suspect it is time to go back to bed.  I may turn the furnace up so when I wake next time perhaps work can be tried right away.  The last of the laundry folded, a shower, then the last of the dishes set up.  I couldn't push through these last few wakes.  Perhaps waking right into a warmer house would help.

If I can get things started right away, maybe I can do a second work period.  Nothing breeds success like success.  At least, with sleeping being the option to work, I am not falling behind in my efforts.  There is simply no advance against the mess and chaos.  But I can easily see, and I do appreciate, what has been done.  Good night, again, etc.

Crashed shortly after the last post.

.
.
After the fever one.  The other was made along with the previous dream video, but parted as the videos were long.  I didn't immediately crash, drifted back to sleep.  No work, couldn't.  Just staying awake was the work.  And it was serious effort.  I might get aspirin down.  That is said to help with fever, definitely helps with these aches and pains.

I woke just a bit ago but may just turn back in.  The ducks were checked.  With the ladies nesting diligently, food and water stay clean and aren't used quickly.  I still try to do well by them, checking twice a day even if they don't need food or water.  I keep their water topped off and enough food for a day, in case illness gets to me.

I am doing well for the condition.  Meds taken regularly, even, mostly, insulin.  Diabetes is back down to usually below 200s.  I am hoping to get it back down, a lot.  I really wonder if low blood sugar is difficult for my body.  Every time I near 100s something goes wrong.  Is this current illness some sort of flu or a negative reaction to lower blood sugar.

I will keep trying.  Perhaps I simply have to focus through the sickness until I make it to calm.  It is difficult even with a smaller if permanent seeming fever, aches, pains, and general difficulty staying awake.  Still, I will give it my best.  Back to bed.  I will get back to work soon enough.  When I can.

The next part of the dreaming.

.
.
Even these are dark dreams.  Winning comes at such high costs.  And what can be released is too terrible for most to understand.  Everyone thinks being a dragon, just for a day... they would set things to rights.  You can't.  You will only light the world on fire.  And it is never for a day.  The hunger... once you begin...

Fever?

.
.
I suspect so.  A mild fever.  I had a thought about diabetes.  At 159 it isn't perfect, but higher than the low that can mimic feverishness.  With sleep so off, a fever now, plus aches, I am not sure this is a fasting draw.  I think I slept four hours or less.  Actually, that was several hours ago.  So a test before, and after, a fatted tea read 169.  I was sure that first read was 168.  I have had the number change before.  Never had that happen with my other tester.  I will start manually logging, just checking.

Sure, it could be memory problems, but why now and a bunch of times in the last month?  Sometimes for better, sometimes for worse.  Could it just be some programming error, algorithm function, or actual manual alteration, if true (it is)?  Why argue, just check, easy enough.  Can't be gaslighted with real numbers.

I ended up crashing after the last post.  Immediately.  I am feeling rough enough that it could happen again at any time.  All the aches and pains of before, plus the feverishness, it might take me down in a hurry.  The pull is there.  Still I am hoping to shower, finish folding the laundry, and start the last of the dishes.  If I can push through, perhaps I can deal with trash and do some work in the bathroom.  Maybe on to finishing dishes and getting to things in the bedroom?

If not, tomorrow... whatever that might mean in my condition, or the 'day' after that, or the next 'day', the following 'day', or some other 'day'.  It is what I have had to do the last three work time zones.  Days to weeks down.  Further, I have caught up fairly well.  I just hope to get caught up and then into solid organization.  I'll get to it.  Eventually I might even truly get caught up and become solidly situated.

Oh, I will be ordering a dumpster the middle of next month for the middle of the following month.  That will seriously help.  Sure, I keep saying that.  But first SSD flatlined, then winter and illness hit, then buying a car this spring, plus such dark weather.  When possible, no sooner.  Later.

Still awake and much better.

.
.
Dinner is being planned.  The furnace has been turned up.  I will deal with laundry shortly, then take a shower.  That will probably be it.  I will most likely go back to bed after those things in the hopes for an early rise and a new start tomorrow.  Perhaps a shave first thing.  If I get the shower, I may put all remaining dishes in for a final wash starting tomorrow.

As exhausted as I am feeling, I am not planning a lot of work tomorrow.  Dishes, but maybe just a wash, maybe two, then leave them to a rinse, finishing them the next day.  The only thing I want to definitely start and finish is bagging and trash out.  Even that seems a bit much.  If it is the plan.  If that works, I will start in on the bedroom the day after, and finish the dishes.

I would also like to call family tomorrow, and medical peeps.  I am so tired.  At least the aches and pains are much milder.  Well, on to a meal.  Later.  Probably good night.

Crashed.

.
.
Hard.  Didn't see it coming.  Felt it.  It started with the back ache, then became a serious stomachache, then the conscious world just seemed an ever more uncomfortable place to which to be a party.  It feels as if I was beaten in the torso on a full stomach.  It still feels like that.  I am not sure if the back ache is milder or was eclipsed by the stomachache.

Hours of sleep, more than needed for the sensation of being tired.  I was attempting to outsleep pain.  Whatever was wrong remains wrong.  I will hit aspirin.  It does feel like bloat.  I was trying potatoes, the type which worked before.  It isn't working now.  I wonder if that is the problem?  No more of that.  If I want potatoes, from now on I have two choices... raw potatoes or potato substitutes.  Potato substitutes aren't even bad, it's more convenience.  Substitutes have to be much fresher and require processing.

Some of the wool socks weren't dry, so I hung them on the baskets.  The towels should be dry.  I'll give them a short refresh anyway, while I shower, when I am able.  A spot of tea, medicine, aspirin, then either waking or back to bed.  It's gotten like it was when I was perpetually crashing, only with solid physical pains and mechanical ailments.

Later or much later.

Back ache.

.
.
A meal, small but good... the last of the roast beef.  Eggs before too long.  Perhaps sardines in a bit.  That should allow for an attempt at intermittent fasting with a four hour eating window.  If I suffer hunger, I'll eat a bit more tomorrow.  I think focus might be back.  It is worth a try.  Perhaps an ounce per of two sorts of nuts as well?  Maybe chia and flax instead of eggs?  Hmm, actually, chia and flax as a final meal is best.  That keeps me tanked up forever!

All of the dishes set to go have been dried and put up.  The socks are all dry, at my feet, and about to be mated.  The towels are drying.  More?  I don't know.  As mentioned, my back is killing me.  I will do more work, but how much, how fast, is another issue.  Perhaps if I work while seated?  Yeah, that might work for bagging and taking boxes down.  Perhaps some of the work in the bedroom can be accomplished seated.

A shower might help.  I have salve, for aching bones, muscle, anything.  I could put a bit of that on after.  Why I never remember that stuff?  If I do have a mild fear of it.  It is potent.  And it smells.  I like the smell, menthol, but... even non-hunter types can catch this, perhaps days after application.  Still...

That will be it for laundry.  There are still dishes.  Of course trash, recycling, clearing, and cleaning, pretty much everywhere, remain.  Still, a very good few day run.  If I can seriously keep at it, I really might complete the bedroom and bathroom by Friday, the kitchen next week, and the living room the week after that?  If is a mighty big word sometimes.

Well, to finish socks and get another meal.  Another very dark day.  For a nyctophiliac it isn't all bad.  And it stays cooler.  Later.

A solid start.

.
.
Tea, a fatted coffee, soon a bite.  The two smaller loads of dishes were turned over.  Both washed, one rinsed dried and put up, the other soap soaked again.  Laundry put through, another load set to wash.  Small loads so they will be pushed on through to completion.  Wool socks, then mixed white socks, and then all white towels.  While the last is a huge load, bigger than my winter weight comforter, there are only three or four pieces.  One last load after the one in the wash.  I have an alarm set for an hour.  Dishes will be hit, possibly laundry if it is ready.

Beef, a fatted tea, and... a bit of gaming or a show?  Something.  Just writing to keep work tacked down in my mind.  It helps, somehow.  After dishes and laundry, I will start on bagging and breaking down boxes.  To get to one it may be more efficient to do both.  It'll move along well, I think.  After every hour or two resting I will attempt an hour or two working.  If more like an half hour working.  It's as much as I can do.

When the dishes soaking are completed, I may get in another shower before collecting the last dishes.  That last shower was so good I wouldn't mind another.  I might even do a single pass shave later.  It had been a long while since my last shave before it.  That sometimes makes regrowth faster after a shave.  A shave nearly on top of a first in a while shave can dampen that otherwise quick regrowth.

Hmm?  Oh, writing too much.  Later.

A very good sleep.

.
.
I wasn't sure what to expect.  After those days of confused sleep and wakefulness, with no ability to work, then a normal seeming day with a lot of work, I didn't know.  I am a bit stiff, sore.  Some of it from work, some probably from sleeping too deeply, too little movement.  Still, not too bad.

Laundry was started first thing, the two smaller loads of dishes were reset.  Tea is going in, hot tea has started as well.  Oh, I set coffee to cold brew last night.  I took out the grounds and topped of the jug after setting tea up.  It is espresso strength, so can be cut by a one part cold brew to three or four parts water... for a typical American cup of joe, or just enjoyed in the espresso sizes.  A bit of cream, butter, mtc or coconut oil added to keto the stuff.

Sleep was between nine and ten hours.  Not bad.  I will check the laundry and see about breakfast.  A bit of beef and a fatted coffee.  I miss fresh coffee.  As soon as this jug gets to half, I have another gallon jug to rotate in.  Yeah.  Coffee and tea, cold or hot, perhaps mixed.  Hmm...

Today?  Dishes, laundry, perhaps finishing those.  Bagging and collecting trash and recycling.  Work in the bedroom.  Work in the bathroom.  Work in the kitchen... actually tearing down boxes which would mostly be work in the kitchen.  Too much, but an advance on a new list.  I will do what of it is possible.  Laundry turnover right now, then dishes.  At least one smaller load should be ready to dry, the rest can be washed then set to a rinse, to be dried and put up the next time I cycle laundry?  Yeah.

Later.

Everything except the trash and last loads.

.
.
I will get the last of the laundry sorted, folded or hung, and put away.  I just can't get to refuse.  I lost interest when I realized, with certainty, that only a bag or two, mostly packing material, would definitely be all to go out.  A triple batch of dishes are soaking, laundry will be cleared for tomorrow, a shower was wonderful.  Everything but trash etc.

So tired.  This time exhaustion is well earned.  I'll listen to a bit of music as I fold laundry.  I was starting to fear I wouldn't be able to work, even wake, again.

Good night, day.

Ugh.

.
.
Laundry up, another small load nearly finished.  Another in the wash since the drying load is so small.  A shower after the washing machine is completed.  Then bagging, trash, and recycling.  I would like to finish the laundry completely and set up the dishes so as to be ready to go with a fresh start.

I also set up insulin for several days and made the bed.  If I get the shower shortly, then can keep working for a bit yet this morning, I should be dry enough to sleep more comfortably.  We'll see.  Hmm, perhaps supper too.  I am hungry.  Beef fried egg and cauliflower rice?  It sounds good, if possible.

Actually there isn't going to be much trash.  I would still like to bag out what is there.  Yeah.  Supper first, then a shower.  ???  Later.

Still at it.

.
.
A shave and a small laundry load of a few blankets and single pair of underwear missed with regular cotton clothes just now.  A meal earlier.  Next laundry to be put up, then a shower.  Trash and recycling, after bagging.  Bagging the bins doesn't sound bad, but I keep five active kitchen sized and one larger size, and put four or five bags per bin.  In case of drips or a tear.  Yeah.  After the shower, the next dishes get set up.

Not a bad run tonight.  Trash is the main next focus.  If all else fails I want that.  I would sure like to get it all done, and might.  I am not sure why it started happening.  I just know I am enjoying it.  A slight headache forming so a few aspirin down in hopes of possibly finishing.  Got to keep pushing.  Then I might hit the bedroom and the bathroom the next time I can work.  Plus the last of dishes and laundry.

Another batch of videos came together.  Actually all at once, but I parted them by... just how I felt they fit.  After I had the sets, and as I arranged them, I noticed someone sensed my... problems, and hit up a post that had covered some of these things previously.  It amazes me how someone does that.

To see and understand... assuming they do actually see, but then track back to an old post of a similar nature?  If they aren't seeing what I am viewing on youtube, then finding a correct correlated blog post is... phenomenal.  Whoever is doing it does it often.  Whether one or several?  Usually they are invisible, save leaving a visited post but with no indication of who, where, even when.  Must be kin.

I'd better have a touch of tea, get insulin in, and night meds plus aspirin, then put laundry up, so as to get laundry into the dryer and a shower.  Later.

While sleeping, dreaming.

.
.
Work is doing well.  Cold and fresh tea, all laundry folded or sorted.  I will, with laundry, wait until it is all put away, hopefully tonight, before starting another load... which itself will have to be washed, dried, sorted, and put up before the next load is started.  Two large loads, if because of blankets.  Might end up being four if either seem to large.  Then two small loads of specialty items, wool and synthetic socks and underwear.

Dishes have been finished.  Some need one more wash, two smaller loads were rinsed, dried, and put up.  I still have to put up clothes etc., shave, and shower.  If that goes well, I will set one more load of laundry to wash and three loads of dishes to soak, if the real plan is bagging cans, getting trash and recycling out and if there is enough then to get those to the curb.  I haven't been collecting or creating much waste lately.

As to dreams... I really didn't want to discuss them.  At first they hurt.  As I improved, as time passed, they got better or I became comfortable with them, again.  Losing?  Winning?  Both?  Is there always a difference?  I... remember... dark things.  Sometimes I terribly enjoy, sometimes I cry like a little girl.

Still awake!?!

.
.
Awake and in good spirits.  I do believe I will put laundry to a warming fluff and hit the dishes while that is underway.  If that doesn't cause a crash, then I will fold clothes, shave and shower, get trash and recycling out, then at least set the remaining dishes to soak while putting another single load of laundry through to at least a first dryer run.

Really?  Look, I will do what of that I can do.  Trash and recycling are vital, if there probably isn't much.  It is mostly getting bins bagged.  Though who knows, there might be a full bag or two of trash, if very little recycling.  How much can I really do?  If I am as I now feel, much if not all.  There isn't anything extra in the way.  Every task is well started, in process, already set to go.  Much less than that first set up.  All of it?  Doubtful.  But a lot of it.  Maybe, perhaps, who knows.

First a fatted tea.  I just had a bit of roast beef.  Then the furnace will be turned up a bit and I will dress more warmly... I didn't think I would still be awake, let alone be able to work.  I thought I would crash imminently or shortly.  Almost did.  All good.  I really enjoy working when I can.

If I could, I would work hours daily.  I really enjoy doing things, having a clean place, getting out, and just doing, working, stretching, learning, becoming stronger, faster, better.  If only I could stay awake and alert for the time necessary to dig in...  physically this day, mentally that, religiously in all things.

I have... a while.  I will use what I have.  While it is God's day, He gives it to us.  If our ass is in a hole, as mine certainly is, I am obliged to pull it out.  So be it.  Good day.

Awake again, again, again.

.
.
I am not sure if I will be able to stay awake.  I ran out of night urinals.  I don't use those on one water pill.  Not often when taking two pills.  But, when using three I need one every three to four hours, filling a liter to over the fill line if not quite to needing a second one, usually.  With sleep going wonky, I decided to take three for a bit.  I am pretty sure that wasn't the problem, but it may have been becoming a problem.

While I am backing off fluid intake, I haven't backed off quickly enough.  This just flushed the system before a problem did occur.  I may do that every few weeks until things seem right.  Even if I do this every few weeks, for two days, using one pill between, that will be far better on my system than using three of them the whole time.  Besides, I think I might get down to just one in time.  Perhaps down to half or none.  Worth a shot.

Anyway, I was all out of pee jugs.  So, I emptied, cleaned with a strong bleach solution, then rinsed.  I don't want my place smelling like an unclean nursing home.  Anyway.  Having done six jugs, plus gone in the regular john because that is what woke me, I couldn't go back to sleep.  While up, I did a search for larger urinals, for home and camping.  I found some, but standing like half gallon milk jugs, won't do (milk jug plastic almost rots with use, at some point it fails, and I bet bleaching would be disastrous much more quickly, plus the way it stands and tiny hole, ugh).  I did find some that lay down, hold two liters, and have a man sized receiver... I hope.  Keeps you warm out camping and you don't have to get out of the warm sleeping setup.

Anyway, so I am awake and on empty.  I'll have more tea.  Later.

Still awake.

.
.
I have had to work at it.  It may be just about finished.  Still, the best waking cycle in days.  It is dark out, relatively.  I keep looking, when I get up, but I can't remember if it has rained.  I would be surprised if not.  Then again, life is full of surprises.  I'll look now, to give a solid report and attempt to put the truth into longer term memory.  Sprinkled very recently or currently, meaning wet spots.  As well, probably rained twelve to twenty four hours ago.

Oh, as for youtube?  I am suspecting it is more a social score.  I do get recommended hd long videos.  Very little music and really second rate vids... or whatever they are pushing.  Musicians and the rest of the industry, plus video crafters... are they being allowed to exclude specific viewers?  I suspect so.  Though youtube is possibly doing some of that on their own, maybe all of it.  Is my server involved as well?  Maybe, but less likely given what is available.

Another dose of tea, then probably to bed.  I am hoping to finish laundry next time I am up, then dishes.  Dishes may have to wait.  We will see soon.  Good day and night.

Waking from another crash.

.
.
I wasn't awake for four hours before crashing for the fourth time in the last forty hours.  I did get the last load of laundry dried, but no more.  I can't stand or do much.  I may have to go to bed again shortly.  This is one of the worst patches in a very long time.  I have figured how to relieve some of the pains, pillows in various places and rolling as often as possible.

I also realize what the problem is with youtube.  My server has changed how I view videos.  This method doesn't allow me to directly access about two thirds of the videos on youtube, probably because they are hd or too long and hd.  As well, youtube itself probably has implemented a social score system, so doesn't care if some people are removed from access.

You don't think China was first, do you?  They are slightly more up front about it, but my troubles with the V.A., SSD, youtube, etc, is directly related to my non-conformism. Public and private agencies now work together, for social and economic control.  At least I understand.  As to Trump's program?  Just a faster way to get on the list.

Later.

Sleep.

.
.
Three longer sleep periods only four to eight hours apart.  I think it is the weather.  I definitely have sadds, or such, but there is something about changes in the weather that can have a similar affect.  I simply haven't been able to stay awake or work.  I will push a few things through, now that I realize I might crash in as little as four hours, and that as tired as I feel at waking, that might be as good as it gets.

At least most pain seems to be gone.  And, wow, fasting blood sugar was 105.  That is down 100 from the last fasting blood sugar.  I'm not sure about that.  Will take it.  It must have been potatoes.  Of course, now I am not sure.  I will have a fatted tea, then test in two hours, before breakfast... eggs and... something.  If it is below 130 I won't take anything, above 150 somehow I will take 10 cc's.  Titrate through , if weighted high?  I don't know, exactly.

But first, I will push laundry through.  I won't replace loads until all is folded, so as not to get a load forgotten in the washer.  Then, as possible, I will hit dishes, fold laundry, then do one load of laundry at a time until I am back to full days.  Brutal to be stuck like this.  Definitely an invalid, sometimes much more so than other times.

Right, tea, and to get fresh going.  Hmm, blood sugar drop might be from not drinking that instant coffee.  If blood sugar steadies I will test it.  Some instant coffee does that. Some regular coffee does that, to some people.  My regular coffee doesn't do it to me, nor tea, not sure about this instant.  It's a complicated world.  Later.