A bit done, and more ongoing.

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I called my brother today.  Not only did I catch him, and in a good mood, I caught him with him having time and nothing else to do.  It was a very good talk.  He was waiting to pick up his youngest, from school.  She prefers public ed.  Her old sister went to private, which was offered to both.  The older girl is in an Ivy League, if I'm not sure that is a good thing... or even means anything these days.  Everything is upside down, in more ways than one.  I say nothing, as well as avoiding politics.

He has organ failure, too, if from nerves being shot in his back instead of a bad heart, on his side.  Though, his heart is having problems from that as well.  At some point, in health failure, there seems to be some convergence.  If... you live long enough.  Life simply hurts.  Still, it is what it is.  He has things I'd rather not have.  If too he has family.  Family isn't always what you want, but it is something you don't realize the value of until it isn't there.  It's... the pain... humility... of these things which... are in large part their graces.  I will take until, of what is available, until the choice is no longer mine to make.

He spoke of cooking.  But... everything he eats is... what we, as diabetics, are not supposed to eat.  I truly miss mexican food.  Some I can have, such as menudo... if I'd rather find an alternative for the hominy.  Oh, but come to think of it, menudo is one of the gelatin and such soup bases which can be made hot.  Is it the pork base?  Wait, tripe isn't pork.  But often, pork hocks are added.  Hmmm, no... something else about it allows for it to be spiced up.  Beef and chicken do not take, to my mind, well to spice heating.  Odd that.

Anyway, I asked him about watching his food, and he just... wasn't worried.  Oh, I get it.  I do.  It is very difficult to do a special diet, especially if you are the main cook, and with a family of... misfits.  Oh, I don't mean they are social outcasts, just that... they will all fight for what they want.  It is difficult to do anything but a standard meal plan.  He lives with three women, all a bit to a lot younger then him.  :p  All good though, just deserts?  *grins*  Oh, I'd tell him to his face if I had the opportunity.

The bottles, some of which I soaked again while I slept, came out perfect  The one bottle I am having difficulty cleaning is an... irregular.  The glass is subpar.  I will continue to use it, and this soak might get it clean.  But it, you can tell by looking closely as I finally did, that it is cheaply made.  The Kerr and other brandname glass sparkles like crystal!  I think this stuff works on steel, too, if I end up having difficulty with that.  But for glass, it is superior.

As I have gone through the glass, including the tea pot, I have also been refilling and replacing the old tea containers in the fridge.  Replacing them, cleaning the older ones, and then storing the clean on shelves.  And I thawed meat over yesterday.  I have beef with which to cube then turn to stew.  And I have burger to fry for meat crumble.  Taco salads, and who knows what else.  I may try a teaspoon of the vegemite, in with the fats, when frying the burger.  If I like it, I may try it with the beef stew?  Wait, no... not the beef stew.  That is such a peculiar thing.  It really doesn't do well with many other spices, herbs, condiments, etc.  I will try it with the burger, because that does go with various flavors.  And I can sort out off flavors if need be.

I am gaming, when I get to tired to stand... messing on the internet when I get too tired to game.  I do whatever I can do, for as long as I can do it, and wipe out for it.  Even if all I can do is be awake, and sit at the computer, I do it.  And, yes, even that totally wipes me out sometimes.  Still, I'd rather try to get wiped out than to just sleep until death.  Later.

Ducks, rabbits, and cats.

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Sometimes the sleeper.  Food, water, litter.  I do believe, before long, I will begin bagging the rabbit poo... back into the food bags from which it, to them, originated.  I know some folk who might well use it.  It is a fertilizer which needs neither composting, nor simple waiting.  I'll have to sew the seem  together, stack the bags, and let them have at them.  I really wish I could garden.  This is plant gold.

They were quite happy to see me, with water again and early.  I let them drink until about two in the morning.  At which point everything was frozen or empty.  I put it out about the same time yesterday, as I generally attempt to do.  The thing is, I can't be absolutely consistent.  And the weather doesn't always cooperate.  Sometimes it freezes in just a few hours, sometimes I can work with it... if I can be awake  to work with it.  Tricky.  I do my best, and they seem to be doing well.

As to the stuff I am using on glass?  I found a much more successful way.  Using a five gallon bucket, so everything can go in deep, be completely submerged.  Start it as hot as I wish, and in an hour or so it has usually cooled enough to bring out for a last very hot rinse.  Perfect?  No, but... very close.  Further, these jars have had many numbers of attempts at cleaning, very unsuccessful attempts, in which gunk has built up.  And, they are mostly coming out spotless.  There are three or four, so far, which will need a bit more work.  Most are so clean I can see the imperfections in the glass production, or a few threads from the kitchen towel.

I have put up three freshly washed tea half gallon jars, and am cleaning both my general use drinking thermos and the coffee pot.  I'll check them in about an hour.  That should be that for that.  So very pleased with how that is turning out.  I will buy a bigger batch next month, or soon.  If they jack the price up, I will wait until it comes back down.  What I have should last a goodly while.  I know someone who might appreciate a bit, if or when I can order a bulk amount.  I absolutely love my glass to be spectacularly clear... even if it only holds tea.

I wanted to be in bed hours ago.  Tired, sore, achy, and hungry!  As I was tinkering, I remembered one of the packages I thawed was bratwursts.  So, I set the grill up and should be able to cook in a few minutes.  It is 28 F out there.  So, not bad, but something about the air makes it hard to get the grill going.  But, when it does lite, it should do just fine.  Brats and... well... peas? corn? nothing?  kefir?  I'll... think about it.  Good night, probably?  Or later.

Porridge.

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Can't eat it often.  Adding heavy cream helps.  But it is filling, warming, and else.  Supper.

I have been working on the bottles.  This stuff isn't... perfect, but it is much much better.  If I am careful to rinse well, I get the sparkling glass I want.  Quickly.  Initially, bottles were washed first, then given a soak in this stuff.  Then I tried that the reverse order, all with moderately rough essentially canning quarts and half gallon jars.  Then I tried some truly terrible ones.  Ones, otherwise, I thought might have to be tossed.

Nope, just on it's own it has done a reasonable job.  Not finished, that first shot.  Though cleaner in a soap and the new cleaner than I would have gotten off in a dozen washes with just soap and a scrubber... even adding in steel wool.  I have to tea jars cleaned and refreshed.  Through tomorrow, I will do the last two.  Yes, four half gallon jugs of tea, refrigerated, so I don't run out... usually.

As well, I will try to clean out the drinking jug tomorrow.  Or, whenever I wake.

I have a pretty hefty headache.  Still, I wanted to get going on the jars.  Well, and success breeds success.  I wanted to keep going with such good results.  I do hurt.  I am tired.  But the jars, which had just been setting for... a very long time... with coffee, old kefir, and whatnot in them...  Well, and the tea jars hadn't been cleaned in a very long time either.  When one thing backs up, everything in that arena backs up.  I'll give them all a once over, set things out, trim, shave, air dry for a bit, stay up until I can get the critters fed and watered, then on to bed.  It's as good as I can do.

Later, or more likely good night.

Still a bit rough.

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Aches, if slight, on many parts of the body.  Tired too, right directly even to, in, of, the heart.  Not deeply, just... broadly.  Still, hoping for more.  I may need a nap, or full sleep, before I start up.  I won't let myself get too tired, while trying to stay up in hopes of doing something.  I end up stretching too far and still not getting anything done.  I try one way, until it doesn't or stops working, then try another way.  No one way works every time, or all the time.  Like having your wheels stuck in the mud, forward and back, perhaps more gas or less... and hope with prayer.

I didn't have a beef roast out.  That has been set out, along with other meats.  I am hungry, but not... enough to push things.  A can of sardines.  Hey, don't judge.  That makes it so that I can get food iodine without having to sup on fish oil!  Choices, people.  As well, I had a few frozen strawberries in a cup of kefir.  It's... actually not bad at all, better if you let the berries thaw.  It was something, but not quite enough.

As well, I have actually started in on some of my canning jars of various sizes, used for various things.  Fatted coffee, making kefir, or holding tea, mostly, for now.  I really want to get into pickling.  Even onions, or small batches of sauerkraut, perhaps back to eggs?  Maybe... but with sausages this time.  They get grungy, really hard, bad, and fast.  I have tried detergent, time, elbow grease, but it just doesn't get it right.

I did give them all a wash.  Then rinsed and redid them.  I am trying PBW, in hopes it cleans it much better.  Tea stains, to protein from heavy whipping cream and other dairy products and liquids.  I try, each month, to figure out one to five problems I am having.  Stained shirts, to rabbit watering, to... whatever is causing me to itch, scratch, and screw up my nose in anger, disgust, or else.  Depends on what I can afford.  I like... not just to know... but to do.  I like things clean.

I tried a small but equal dose in quart and half gallon jugs.  I capped them, after filling them with the hottest tap I can obtain.  I have already washed them, and used a brush and steel wool to clean the rims.  Then I dosed them, added fresh hot water, and capped them.  I am shaking them every fifteen to twenty minutes, and turning them over.  Further, I will dump the ones I have just been washing with soap, rinse those and clean them, and then add this stuff to see if it can be used 'second hand'.  Just... trying to cut a few corners.  If it works, as often as I am using and cleaning jars, I will order it in bulk.  And... begin using glasses a bit more often as well.  

Figure it out, one problem at a time.  You will never get it all, get it perfectly, or any such things.  But you... can improve every so slightly, from time to time.  The funny thing?  About when you have it down, it is... nearing that long night bedtime.  Even if you live for a while, your ability to do it diminishes.  *le sighe*  Though, to be honest, even crippled... I am glad to keep learning, trying, moving on and up.

I best pull the waterers, flip the bottles, and begin edging toward sleep.  Good night, evening, and morning for some of you.

Up and at it.

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Had a heck of a time waking.  At first, I didn't want to wake but couldn't get back to sleep.  Then I tried to wake but couldn't.  I was stuck in no-man's land for about three hours?  Two for certain.  No, three.  I am almost sure.  Three hours and change of pushing or pulling to no good effect.  Even as I became able to wake, my body hurt.  It was like pulling your wooden boat over the reefs at low tide while attempting to get shoreward and back onto dry land.  Rough.

I checked the outdoor critters first thing.  Ducks were in, so I just shut their door.  Rabbits seemed to begin drinking.  I was sure their water would be frozen?  Nope!  And they have nearly finished their water.  Though a quarter of 64 ounces, the most reduced waterer, is still enough.  So I left them.  I was pleased to have gotten them a whole day of running water, if there was little I could do but put it out, pray, and hope the day was warm enough.  More drinking, less eating, today.  They were thirsty.

I wanted to call my brother, but it just wasn't possible.  I... had the phone, was thinking on it.  Then it... I was asleep the next thing I know.  When my body is done, the world won't make much sense.  It crashes and doesn't even listen to me.  It goes away, does what it must... shuts down, shuts my control and contact panels, just... shuts down.  All good.  It's probably for the better.

Someone was pulled over, in front of the house today.  I heard a truck start up, thought it might be UPS.  Packages were soon to arrive.  It's just unusual that they would kill the engine, even for a larger delivery.  So I looked.  The sheriff(?I think?) had a truck pulled over.  It was the truck which had turned off it's engine.  Was it a pullover, or were they talking?  Strange.  I couldn't tell.  Though, most likely, it was a pullover.  As mentioned, vehicles are barreling through town again, lately.  Odd that I would notice.  Oh, my hearing (can) be good.  It's, just... quite often I attempt to remain oblivious.  Something... about things... has to draw my attention.  It was the engine starting, it's proximity, but... there was... something else to it.  Anger in the air?  Something.

Oh, beef stew, it is hoped, tonight.  Remember, I am doing the meat and liquids first, alone... save for mirepoix, salt, and pepper.  I am trying butter as the fat this time.  Hmm, though I may, again, fry bacon in the cast, to loosen that goose.  A mix of bacon fat and butter isn't a bad thing.  Then just fry the meat, in smaller groupings.  Hmm... yeah.  I think so.  I will need to chop a roast into tidbits, if medium ones... I go between inch to inch and an half rough squares?  Something like that.  Though dividing the meat on natural seems, so absolute regularity isn't possible.  I'll need to dice and slice the veggies, as well.  The chef always gets a few bits of the raw... well, maybe not onion.  And I'm not sure they had celery in the order.  Bleh.  Do with what you have.

 Perhaps other work tonight?  I hope so.  Though nothing until I wake a bit more, better.  Later.

How do I do that?

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I created a telephone appointment, yesterday, for today.  Okay.  Now, I can't remember if that was a ten or eleven appointment.  As I was checking the phone, I realized there were texts... from my service.  It seems I have run out of money... I'm on a pay as you go plan.  Ugh!  I called the number provided.

I was told it would be faster to go online... that almost never works for me.  So I was just going to wait it out.  In seconds, the automated system took the money out of my account and had it all up and running.  Of course, that was a few minutes after ten.  So... if... it was a ten appointment, I'll have to reset it.  If it is an eleven appointment I am good.

I hate these moments between knowing and not knowing if I messed up.  It'll work.  It'll happen shortly, or not.  If I don't get a call by half after, I'll call and reschedule.  What kind of weird luck has the few things that happen in my life to converge and attempt to cancel each other out.  I am barely able to stay awake, alive even.  Keeping ahead of these things isn't possible.  Actually, that I even caught this?  Win lose or draw, at least I didn't realize a few weeks from now.  Ugh, messy life.  It's all I have.

I was done, so I thought, with the latest bought of stigmata.  I work hard to keep that in check.  Sometimes I lose.  It looks like it is trying to come back.  Just on the palms, for now.  And it doesn't go beyond the skin, so far... mostly.  More heavily in the right palm.  I don't mind it, in one sense.  If I don't seek it.  It's more that it can hurt, and bleed on things.  If that isn't the main problem.  It's... what it draws... calls to me.  It calls dark things, which hate such a... condition, and those with it.  Spiritual warfare.  It's not that fighting is difficult, it's that I so enjoy it.  It's a great temptation.

Ah!  The doc called.  He apologized for calling late.  I... thanked him for calling late.  I should have added that being late is never a problem anyway.  Meds will be sent, and restarted immediately.  If I have enough to create a two week opener, I will get them set up.  I do have to wait on insulin though.  But the rest I can begin.  Ugh.

He asked me to come in for blood tests.  Lots and lots of them, by the sounds of it.  I said I didn't want to, because I didn't want to go through the rigmarole of testing, problems from a false positive, etc.  He said I wouldn't have to be tested.  If a mask is required I am sure.  I'll split that, for now.  I am sure testing wouldn't be bad... blood testing that is.  I... medical has completely failed the trust test with this so-called pandemic.  If that is as likely part of the reset as everything else.  It probably seemed cool, with the medical field, until they found themselves deserted, and the staff being whittled down to fit the 'new normal'?  Then again, perhaps it was falling already, this just covers that up?  All I know is I don't believe anything anyone says, and am still right more often for it.  Still, I mostly trust this doc.  Why?  Because.    

One more call yet today?  Maybe.  I got the rabbits and ducks set up rather early today... by 08:30?  Give or take.  I am about to check them shortly again.  Just... to make sure.  It, at least was, has been rather cold out there.  The girls have been fed.  I even shard a portion of the hindquarter... chicken.  It was good, enough, I just wasn't all that into it.  It is nearly time to feed them again, and tend their litter.  Today, or when I wake, I'll see about beef soup/stew.  I really am digging it.  Good morning, day, and... night... shortly enough.

It seems so cold.

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It really isn't.  At between 8 and 12 F, it really isn't terribly cold.  There is something else with it, or to it.  The waterers froze so fast!  There was very little gone.  I put out a second batch, and it too froze nearly solid and in a few hours.  I wanted to do it again, but I am out of waterers for all, and it would freeze quicker still, plus they wouldn't drink.  They don't, in the dark.

Not only is the water freezing hard and fast, it feels bitterly cold out there.  About as cold as I remember, without wind.  Something wet, and grabbing, about the cold.  This could take even me down quickly.  I closed the bunnies up tonight.  I don't always do it, even if it's colder by temp... though usually.  Something bitter in that tonight.

I found a hindquarter, warmed it while I made cheese bread to have with vegemite.  I am letting it cool, though I hope I didn't let it cool too much.  As well, I enjoy kefir.  It's not as strong as I like it, but that takes a while.  Still, I can taste that fresh clean homemade kefir taste.  Very similar to plain yogurt, just easier to make.  I have two half gallons going, if one of them will be out soon.  One has the starter, the other has what of the starter gets out while I filter.  I bought frozen fruit last time I ordered.  Adding a few berries to the kefir is nice.  No sugar or sweetener, so a bit bitter.  But far less bitter than plain kefir.  Not every time, just every other or third time.  I just wish I could get it to thicken a bit more.  I'll keep trying.

Later.  No, more like good night.

It must be cold out.

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So tired, too.  It may be a pairing of sorts.  The waterers were frozen, only the small does drank more than a quarter.  They only drank half.  It must have frozen quickly.  I put out new ones, and hope to check them in a few hours.  If they are frozen beyond consumption at that point, I will pull them for the night.  If there is still flow, I will shake them and keep them there.

I really want to go back to bed.  But I want the rabbits watered more.  If I can make it.  Depending on what is happening with the waterers, I may be able to go on to bed in a few hours.  Otherwise a four(ish) hours.

I did buy an extra drake and two extra duck hens.  I had started to wonder if I had too many.  I really didn't think I did, and this isn't the way I would have done that.  Though, I'm telling you, I am glad I don't have kids on this road.  Seriously, those ducks are huge.  Three feet long by, say, a foot or two tall?  And all white?  Between the two of them, they covered one whole side of the road.  A kid would have no chance at all on that road.  Funny thing is?  At this point in the world, no one really cares.

I can't really fence them in.  The cost of a fence which could hold them, plus clipping their wings...  I don't think so.  I suppose I will slowly lose them until there are no more.  Oh well.  I'll keep trying, I just won't replace them.

So very tired.  Kidneys hurt.  Actually, a bunch of organs hurt.  I'll try anacin tonight.  Oh, and I am going to try a melted cheese and vegemite sandwich in a bit.  Since I have to stay awake.  I'm not sure the vegemite flavor will come through.  When the Marmite shows, I'll have to try that.  It may just be like the vegemite, only stronger?  As if instead of putting one or two anchovies on a slice of bread, putting three or five?  Will see.  But, for now, trying vegemite.  It's doing well enough.  Later.

One of three calls made.

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It took a long time to get through.  It used to be a minute or two of a wait.  This time, I was initially caller number thirty six.  No complaint, just an understanding.  No one in their right mind would go to a hospital, very potentially even if they have the coof(tm).  It is more dangerous to be misdiagnosed and treated... either way... in with a bunch of other really sick people, than it is to muddle through.  Or... that's how I see it.

More?  If the doctors and else working on you see you as unfit to live?  They are more likely to simply experiment.  Your death might well be considered a good, for science, for medicine, for your fellow man.  Or your riddance alone may seem as a good to them.  Being a vet, at most vet hospitals, is similar already.  Even constantly being harangued about suicide, every few minutes, when you call in?  I am considering that suggestive anit-therapy.  They are telling you what they want you to do.

So, a tele-appointment.  They were able to get me in fast.  I think a lot of people must simply have dumped medicine whole hog.  Don't trust it.  If you think I am paranoid, wait until you hear from the rest?  Trust me, my... notions... are very levelheaded by comparison.  Still, it took so long to get through that when it was over, I was done.

Oh, I did try the vegemite.  And?  Well?  It's... different.  I tried it with cream cheese, butter, onion with each of those, and with naught but itself.  I spread it rather thin, couldn't taste it always.  It wasn't bad, when I did.  It seems a bit acidic?  Or somesuch.  I, as a very limited experience, was good with it.  I would like to try it with cheese melted in.  If I start using this from time to time, I will begin buying unsalted butter exclusively.  Eventually I do want to try it with soups and stews.  It's like a meat base, does remind me of such... or milder cured anchovies.  It's in my ballpark, if... to point... I can't exactly see where to put it.  Worth a try?  It's a bit expensive to add to the diet.  if you want to mess with that, add dry dietary yeast... if it has the flavor dropped to almost nil comparatively.  As I mentioned, bucket list things.

I keep trying to call my brother back.  He says to call any time.  No... no, no, no.  Too late, or early, and he is extra grumpy.  Cool, that has been his truth since we were... three?  Since I was three, that is.  Back then, he was nearly 4/3rds older then me!  Must have been rough.  I'll have to remind him, next time we talk.  I remember when he was REALLY old!

I also hoped to call about a lawyer.  I seem to have lost the number, to the national registry, but maybe not.  Though it shouldn't be difficult to obtain it again.  I just... I barely was able to speak when I finally got through.  Easy enough though.  It was between noon and one when I finally went down?  Probably closer to noon, perhaps before it.  It was about 11:37 or something when the call began.  Oh... can check!  Hmm, if reading correctly... started at 11:39, lasted thirty minutes, eleven seconds.  Now I know.  I crashed so hard immediately after the call, there probably wasn't five seconds between clicking off and zapping out.

I haven't checked on the critters yet this evening.  I need a bit of time to wake.  If there is a lot of water left, and it is frozen, I'll take more out for the rabbits.  The birds seem to be doing just fine, with what I give them and they have otherwise available.  Hopefully I can get to some cleaning tonight.  Good evening and day... what's left of it.

Critters tended.

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Oh, but it wasn't two hens, it was the big white drake and a hen.  Thor.  And Big K, I think.  The rest have been fed and watered.  Rabbits too.  I am about to do litter boxes, then feed the girls.  Their water was refreshed already.  Sam is so sleepy.  She is nearing death too.  But we don't worry.  Those things have to happen.  Living well until they do.

I am having difficulty cleaning my tea thermos.  It has a musty smell in there.  I have tried baking soda and vinegar, hot soapy water, and... something else?  None of it is working.  I fear it will lead to bad breath, or worse, some sort of infection?  I'll keep working on it.  I can't believe how difficult it is to get the odor to go away.

So tired.  But I really do wish to get a shower and a few calls made.  Ugh.  Good night.

Still awake.

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Two of the ducks were run over last night.  One under each line of wheels.  These are big birds, white, very hard to miss.  Either it was on purpose or someone was driving very fast and not even paying attention to the road.  They were absolutely destroyed.  Two hens down.  At least I don't have to worry about whether they were hit somewhere else, or an animal got to them and took them away.  No doubts, these won't return.

A few more days, but truly this time.  I am waiting until, say, the end of Saturday, start of Sunday, to pull the plug.  This will give any occasional visitors a chance to ask to have access.  I don't need a real name, but I have to know... what you have to do with this blog.  Some of you longtimers are already set up to have access... or will be.  I have your emails... or old ones.  If they have changed, Michael, Jean, or foamy... of whichever variety you are running currently, let me know.  If others want in, let me know... and what blog you are from... or how you know me... which blog you know me from?

I'll be getting out to feed and water the critters today.  It got cold last night.  Not sure if it remains so, though it seems chill.  A shower, a bit of air drying, trimming the whiskers first actually.  Then on to bed.

I am hoping to make a few calls today.  We'll see.

And, tonight, beef stew!  But, this time, no funky flavors.  I think I have another tub of beef stock thawed.  No mushrooms left, but plenty of veggies, if I will only be adding those by the small pot.  The main portion will be just beef, mirepoix, and the stew/soup juice.  Adding veggies seems to do quite well.  If the veggies didn't get too much worse, they did get mushy just sitting in the stock as was.  Best to cook fresh.  Plus, that might push me to order a few minor veggies through the week, and go pick them up.  Even once a week, even though money is so tight.

I have considered trying the vegemite, as a stock enhancer, but not until I get a very simple, plain, beef stew well under my belt.  Until I can knock that out of the park, nothing new, different, or strange will be tried.  I do need to work on browning the outside without, mostly at all, cooking the inside.  I suppose that will always be a dubious prospect.  Years of practice?  A bit of luck?  Without flour, I'm not sure.  Hmm... perhaps an investigation into how to crisp that, as I wish, in the keto world.  Almond and coconut flours just don't cut it, from my past experiments.

Later, or more likely good night.

Oh, right.

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I am going private.  This time without any doubts.  If I don't have your email, and you want in, figure it out.  Just send an email to doom d forev.  Put that together without punctuation, spaces, or else, and send to at g plus mail.

Sleep has been rough.  too much, far too much, to little, none, without any real way to make it work as it should.  I woke after nine down, but couldn't do a thing for another four hours.  And I am about to crash again, even with food.  The birds, rabbits, and cats have been managed, if later than hoped.  I pushed to get out earlier, both to wake earlier and then to do the chores right after waking, to utter failure.  I'll do what I can.

The first of two bucket list parcels arrived today.  Minor things, but...  Vegemite, an Australian bread spread... actually condiment.  Marmite, a British bread spread is on the way.  I hear they are vegetal of origin, extremely salty, if actually with a strong meaty umami flavor.  No, my goal isn't to taste them.  My goal is to figure out how to like them.  I am all but sure I will not like them right out of the box.  A few vids to get you started.

A bit shakier, tonight.

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Waterers are in, ducks are away, cats are fed.  But I am falling hard and fast.  A headache devolves, possibly becoming a migraine.  I am hungry, but cannot cook, or eat even if I did.  So cold.  Can't get warm in spite of it being so much warmer.  Not a lot to do.  I may, however, be able to sneak on to bed and try for a better night of sleep, a longer, full, one.  

The decision to keep cat treats upstairs seems to settle the midgets, when they visit.  They are, in part, seeking food.  And they are restless little natives when hungry.  A few bits and we are back on good standing.  Further, when they visit, they help me check the time and keep track in life.  I prefer to have them visit, even if that is sometimes annoying.  Learning every day, or... often.

While it reads as warmer, it feels much colder, indoors and out.  I wonder, with the temp being above melting, moisture is going into the air.  That will make it feel colder.  As such, I decided to use the tarps tonight, for the rabbits.  I had stopped doing so, because I found they are quite good without.  But they honestly looked miserable out there today.

Something about how they huddled, and literally looked.  Discomfort isn't difficult to see, if you look.  I didn't know, initially, what it was.  Until it all came together.  I do my best to sort out any problems and deal with them.  Not everything will have a solution.  Being a younger duck, for example, is a difficult thing.  The others are mean.  There is nothing I can do to fix that.  But if possible, I do.

Oh, I best take something tonight.  Aspirin though?  Tylenol hasn't really helped, so far.  So it's between ibuprofen and anacin.  I'd love to have a meal, too, but...  Hmm... maybe some chicken soup.  I have a clean pan, extra veggies, and other such.  Oh, and kale.  I best try some of that before it goes.  Yes.  I will have some soup.  Good evening, night, day, and morning?  Depending on where you are and when you guess this, all is possible.  Be well.  Blessings.  

Not bad, just... off.

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I couldn't sleep until a bit before noon.  I couldn't sleep beyond 18:00~18:30.  Oh, I wanted to stay in bed.  That isn't much sleep for having unintentionally stretched my day to get to bedtime.  Still, only a mild headache, some sinus blockage I am working on, and a very few other very mild aches and pains.  But my mind wants us to be in bed.  I concur.  Oh... that stomach pain?  When I stopped jerking the five gallon pale of water?  Yea, that... that... don't do that.  I wonder how many times I hurt myself without even knowing what I did.  It took, like... three days to figure that out?  It really hurt!  Oh well.  Better.

Yes, the rabbits, girls, and ducks were fed and released... according to their part.  I will begin breeding the rabbits soon.  If, too, I need to get to butchering some of them.  To cut on feed.  I will save some of the small ones, to see if they are better for me, or even taste better.  The large ones were my intended meat animals, so I will definitely keep them.  But some of the small ones will be my first taste test.  Then again, should I keep all of them until I see that my preferred choices can breed and brood right?  There are no options if these fail.  Ugh.

It was warmer today.  Right at thawing, the warmest I saw it though... 32 F... though very possibly warmer, 28 when it was colder this morning and as I checked this evening.  Both of which are still much warmer than the tens and even zeros of late.  Did it drop much below zero F?  It may have, a few times, but not often or very far below... if memory serves.  The thing is, it has been consistently colder.  There haven't been many breaks from below freezing.  And it has stayed fairly consistent, the numbers haven't been jumping or dropping quickly or often.  Actually, that is better than when it gets all fidgety, thawing, freezing, then raining, or snowing, or both.  I... like this winter, so far.

I think I will try aspirin tonight?  Hmm... maybe, maybe not.  I may just dither until tomorrow has come and gone.  If I take the wrong thing, it is worse than useless.  I then have to wait twelve hours before trying a different type, and hoping the aches and pains are the same and will respond to the different pain killer... or dither a few more days away making up my mind.  At least I probably won't accidentally poison myself?  Meh.

With Melania saying goodbye, I am more sure than ever that it is over.  I am not sure if the pushers have been deepstate fakes, spoilers or honeypots of some type, etc.  Remember, anyone online could be anyone.  Even if you knew who started a post, between selling out and being taken over, you really don't know who you are dealing with, what their motives are, etc.  Many of them are out for your soul, your life, your wealth, anything they could get from you.  You don't have friends, not here.  If you don't have them in real life, don't think you will find them here.

I like to think I am real, not a meme.  And, mostly, that is true.  I am not a political construct, on either side... as if there were two sides.  But I can be an accidental mouthpiece.  None are free of that.  But I am not bought, owned, socially, morally, ethically compromised for wealth or fame or access... none of which I have.  And I do my best.  Unlike those who are egging you to believe what they probably know isn't true.

If I hadn't made a deal with God, suicide might seem reasonable.  If I didn't believe in God, that would be better than living in the lie the world has proven to be.  I don't get that luxury, and, at this point, as I believe, couldn't choose it if I wanted.  No, will have to simply live in a world which is stealing even from me, lying, and trying to break me... after having destroyed my nation.

It's just the way it is.  So be it.

I would like to make something for dinner.  Not sure what, or if I can.  So tired, more than anything.  Hmm... I still have soup, if that does get a bit old fast.  Oh, some new veggies, and mushrooms... that might brighten it.  I had ordered lemons, they must not have had any.  A lemon would have brightened the soup?  I think so.  Oh... something.  Good afternoon, day, and luck.  Keep your heads about you, down if you can't, on a swivel otherwise.  Amen.

Down later than planned.

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Just because I want to sleep, perhaps need to sleep, doesn't mean I can sleep.  Lots happening in the world, if that isn't really the problem.  I just... have to cool down after doing things.  The trip to town, ordering at McDonalds a few times only to be refused both times.  I just... Yea.  I think the world is having problems.  And with tech, they know who the enemy is.  I am, in a local college town, the enemy.  Heck, to the diehard pro-Trumpers and their enemy, I am also the enemy.

I know Trump can't do much, not with either political or military help.  I can't see what the military is doing.  But I can see that every republican has jumped ship.  From state and federal congresscritters, to judges at every level, to governors for the most part.  No one cares about a stolen election.  Except the people it was stolen from?  I told you your vote meant nothing a decade and more ago.  You ignored me then, I ignore you now.

I'm not worried, one way or the other.  I will probably lose my home, because I lost my social security, because of illegal immigration, political chicanery on every level by both parties, and for my political opinions.  So, I really... don't have time to care about your hurt feelings.  If I suggest it will be more than that in short order.

Trump isn't one for surprises.  He tells you what he is going to do long before he does... usually... nothing.  Could he keep it zip?  Something as big as a readjustment to two thirds of the federal government and bureaucracies top to bottom?  I don't think so.  But, lets say that is actually a tell, what are the odds of success?  Actually, with .mil on his side?  Not too bad.  There will be costs and losses.  But he faces guys and gals in suits who have never had to defend themselves.  I have great doubts most could run a hundred yard dash to spare their lives in a reasonable time.  Even the fit ones have no self-defense capacity.

And there aren't many of them.  All told, the arrest of a thousand people would end the attempt at tyranny.  But... Trump is, mostly, an inside guy.  He is made.  He doesn't believe the system which helped him make it, stamped his card, gave him passes and allowances, would suddenly kill him, or his family.  It's all business to him.  Further, while he can and has run outside the system... you, at his level, are all alone... you... have limits.

Will he?  I pray every day.  He isn't the only way.  He is the... best, most legitimate, easiest, way.  Not easy, not guaranteed even, not without costs and a swipe at legitimacy, but... the best way.  The only way left, after him, is outright revolt.  Oh, that may even happen.  I just don't see it succeeding.  Though, maybe.  What would be lost in it?  Much.  Even people like me, who aren't believers, would be put on the enemy list, of both sides.  Because I see the need, but have doubts, I will be targeted by both groups.

To be fair, I am not exactly on president Trump's side.  I am on the American people's side.  That means we are only allies.  Most of the time.  As mentioned, until the wall is completed, and illegals kept out and pushed out just for being here without legal allowances or after those have passed, I would not vote for him.  And I would only vote if my vote was actually counted, to top that off.  I am not a duck to stand in line and blindly hope.  It's... not how my system operates.

Places which are complaining about censorship, even on uninvolved topics, are cutting my comments.  I guess I am no longer considered a friend... to conservatives... who are doing, now, the same thing the left is.  So be it.

A very off, odd, but good day.

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I don't think the tylenol is the stuff that works for me, currently.  I will try ibuprofen tonight.  If that doesn't work, anacin tomorrow.  I am tired of hurting.  Want to find a bit of relief.  A day or two off, I'll get back to it.  It's going to those in purgatory, so... I don't terribly mind.  But I don't want to kill myself escaping, if a break from time to time is good.

They didn't have green kale, but purple was available.  I am curious to see how well that holds up in soups and stews.  I might warm a double batch of the stuff, with kale, tomorrow, then stretch that out for three days?  Something.  I want to see if that can be put in and reheated a few times.  The soup experiments begin.  Man... I'm telling you... I regret only beginning enjoying soups so late in the season.  Still, I'll take it.

Salsa, and guacamole, a hunger for them.  I tried the store brand, and what has been a previous favored variety.  What I found?  I found is that both are sufficient.  They are almost exactly the same.  What to look for, however, was juice.  The juicer the better.  Tonight, both were equally juicy, so there was no significant difference... on the salsa side.  There might be other varieties of guac, but the store brand beats, hands down, in every way.  So that is that for that.

Ducks were in a bit ago.  Water was in about an hour and an half ago.  The waterers have been reset and set to warm.  The food bucket has been refilled.  I added fresh water to the pool, and cleaned it a bit... every third or forth day it needs rinsed.  Everything is set for the morning.  I won't make it to dawn, but being not even 02:00, I may be able to be up early.  At least early enough.  The rabbits had running water from about 08:30 until 00:30, so...  I am pushing to get them taken care of.

It's right at bedtime.  I am exhausted beyond thinking, almost.  Oh... but I did figure out what is hurting the gut.  Water pale.  Oh, it isn't too much weight.  It is a five gallon bucket.  It is that I am lifting it as if I was still using the 2.5 gallon bucket.  The moment of inertia is way off.  Snatching and running, with twice the weight, as if it was half the weight, is the problem.  I have to consciously slow my lift... which assumes I am awake enough to be aware.  But, yes, that is splitting my gut like a spike.  It might even be the cause of a faux kidney pain.  A one handed snatch and hurdle, as if it is half the weight... it's smack ya.

Good night.

Oh, an early fast up and out.

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Down at almost noon.  It's the best I could do.  My brother called at around 14:00.  I wanted to answer, but my eyes and brain were... yea... it didn't work.  I will call him tomorrow.  Hahaha  Guess what day, some long time back, I had intended on calling him?  Tomorrow!  Funny how things work.  Not a done deal, just... funny how plans can work... assuming it does.  Sassy was up, several times.  Wanted attention.  Actually wanted to wake me to feed her.  Nope.  But she got a bit of itchy scratchy.  Not food, but... she went away happy.  Mostly.

Finally, at 15:00, the alarm.  But it was way too early.  I figured the next round, at 17:00, was pushing things.  So I reset that early alarm to a 16:00, said a little prayer that I might make it up in time, and went back to sleep.  Sleep was horrible, I kept consciously worrying about missing the pickup.  But, no, I woke... if after three snoozes, so right at 16:30.

Ducks and rabbits, cats, and a shower, amen!  As fast as I could.  Milk arrived as I was finishing.  All good.  He is always buying new toys... tools, that is.  Something I have been looking at.  And something I haven't been considering.  Still, I like to see what he is up to next!  Every once in a while I beat him to the draw on something useful, neat, or clever... if not so much lately.  Holding on by my toes as I am.  I do enjoy new tools.  Clever is okay, simple and sure is best, mix and match and you can do well.

In with a few groceries, I obtained a generic tylenol.  The brand stuff costs over $21.  The generic is about $3~$4?  Same dose, same number.  Yea... no.  Anacin, when I can find it, is the only thing I'll pay branded.  But, first, it isn't too high, second... there are no options.  No option I have seen.  I am trying the generic tylenol as I write.  Not sure if this will be an ibuprofen type or more an aspirin type.  For me, they do very different things, working on very different pains.  When one doesn't work, sometimes the other will.  Perhaps this will fit a different niche?  The thing is to learn which does what, so to have a better idea of when to use which.  Hunt and peck can be annoying.

For good or ill, things may... be changing.  For the darker, or lighter, none yet no.  I expect darker.  I have seen no evidence of light coming out of this.  And it may hit like a storm, attacking in the night, people disappearing or being shot in the streets by people with badges or else... some seeming authority.  Someone like myself could disappear without anyone knowing.  Or, the least likely, Trump will choose for American to remain free(ish).  It would have to be with the .mil and some of .intel?  He couldn't do it on his own, even with Trumpites.

Finally feeling better.

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It's bed time though.  Still, that isn't all bad.  Bedtime and morning are the worst times to feel bad.  It gimps my whole day, or sure can.  To sleep well, I need to feel somewhat good.  I do.

That soup... I finish it off.  What amazes me is how filling it is and how long it takes me through they day.  I have it a bit low on salt, which isn't bad.  As long as it has enough salt while cooking to not taste dead, the difference can be made up with table salt.  It is still a bit low salt, which is fine.  When I am more into, better on, keto, I need more salt.  But when I've not been doing that well, cutting salt is good.  Just be honest with things and life, and find whichever balance for wherever you find yourself.  Low salt is currently a good thing.  So it goes.

Rabbits and ducks have been tended.  Girls have been fed, and again, and treated plus had their water changed and litter tended.  It was exhausting today.  So tired.  And, yet... I just have to do it.  I best get on to bed.  Good night.

That soup will do me well.

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I think, from now on, however, I will make the base, add the meat, and stop right there.  THEN, as I go along, add whatever vegetables or else I wish.  Say I have a base chicken soup.  I end up with plenty of pulled pork?  Just add some for a variation, but maybe just enough for a bowl or two.  And, adding veggies as I wish, per day.  I can easily, now, keep in right keto food.

Boring?  All food gets boring.  But with a base soup, which can be dressed up or down, per day, as one wishes?  That cuts boredom.  Then, to make it thicker or thinner really helps.  I will have to figure out cold soup at some point, but not yet.  Tonight?  The vegetable chicken soup, but with raw spinach leaves and a can of stewed tomatoes.  Diced or even puree wouldn't be a bad add.

The thing is, I can't quite heat up just enough for one bowl.  I prefer to use the stove.  And my single quart pot still puts out well more than my bowl.  It's the smallest pan I have.  I suppose I could buy a smaller pan, or put less in.  But I... didn't get close to filling it, even adding a couple of cups of water?  And it was still well more than enough.  One bowl did me quite well, full to the gills, literally could not eat another bite.  And there is still at least half left?  Okay... I get soups and stews now.  Amazing tech, actually.

I may have another bowl shortly.  I must admit, while I am not seeing protein, the pieces are so small, and the veggies so thick, I am still feeling protein sated?  Very strange.  I didn't think that was possible.  I think the soups I have had in the past were mostly done wrong.  Oh, well, mother's soups and stews were almost always, to my memory, shockingly filling and comforting.  No joke.  But soup anywhere else I have tried?  Not so much.

Now, I have room for improvement.  One of the main has already been noted.  Making a base of stock, water, thickener, and whichever meat... or even mushroom.  Then, adding veggies as wanted, per small pot.  Other improvements?  Learning how to fatten, with cream or even sour cream.  Learning to thicken or thin, as desired... though... when rightly thickened initially, how much water added can set that easily.  But the final trick I will need to work up is making the soup so that it is edible while cold.  That... will be a touch of magic, luck, and practice.

I am quite pleased with this all.  Oh, and it is quite warming on top of being easy to dish out, even if on the run.  It would heat well enough in the time to take a shower, and could be drunk almost, or taken in a thermos.  If you have never gotten into soups, or better stews... I'm going to recommend that you do.  Especially if you live north of the cold line.  I love chili, just can't do beans and haven't really fallen for keto variants.

Ugh.  Back to a bit of gaming.  Can't do... much of anything... for long.  I just... get lost?  I stop knowing what I am doing.  Frustrating.  Some of it is this flu, some of it is winter, some is general health...  I'll do what I can.  Good evening, night, morning, and/or day.

Just a bit of shopping.

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Online, groceries.  Hmm, I forgot a few things... mushrooms and...  I may go back and order those.  If I can remember what the other was.  I... just... had it!  Ugh.  Very convenient to order online.  The fear, for me, is not making at the pickup time.  Ugh.  Hmm, could add tylenol to the list.  The nice thing, it is paid in advance.  All I, or anyone else, has to do is show up... with the number, or code, they send.

I will definitely be taking a shower before I go to bed.  Yea.  I may still take a shower tomorrow, but... having it out of the way means, if I am running too late I can just go.  Gah!  If I could only remember what else I had wanted on the list!  Not daikon radishes, that will be for next month.  There is tylenol, but it wasn't the item.  It was a food.

Not cheese, a vegetable?  I think?  Lemons would be nice, if available.  Drats!  This flu sucks, if age... life... isn't much better.  Later.

Not a good day.

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Ducks in, rabbits checked.  It was and remains somewhere between 22 and 24 F out.  Fresh water for the girls, their litter cleared, and a dinner.  I would really like to put out fresh waterers, but I am all but certain their will freeze solid... which is a risk too them.  Besides, the rabbits drank almost nothing of the fresh I put out after dark.  I think I will try to make it to dawn, and put water out for them, before going to bed.

My stomach really hurts.  Unlike when it has felt like I took a beating a week or two ago, this feels fresh.  It doesn't just hurt when I bend, or such, but all of the time.  I have done nothing to bring this on.

I'm not terribly hungry.  If I do get hungry, I will hit some of the chicken soup.  Hmm... no noodles.  Though, the truth is, I really don't like noodles anymore.  Still, I wonder if there is something I could add?  Julienned daikon radish or watercress's?  Something like that, if I spelled or wrote it quite right... crispy veggies often added to stirfry.  I do have some cans of watercress.  Hmm, might try it.

Oh, I keep forgetting to take painkillers.  I am thinking, this time, to try anacin.  Ibuprofen has been used almost exclusively, if the symptoms it was used for were flu related.  This pain is different.  Oh, sure, there are still sinus aches, but that isn't the main problem.  Yea, and just for a change.  I must admit, ibuprofen worked well, anacin did nothing.  I have to wonder about tylenol.  I think I will keep some of each on hand, so if one kind doesn't work, I can try another.  More vodka, because that does do well, especially in a fatted coffee.  Small bottles, nothing fancy, not much at any time... just a shot or two per quart, once or twice a day, as needed and to a degree wanted.

I was so sure it was Saturday.  I guess not.  I gave a friend a little... chirp... about missing.  And he chirped back.  Well, we ended up grinning and all, so it was good.  Hmm, I should call my brother tomorrow.  I meant to today, but... today wasn't even today, it is tomorrow, so... I'm... I... didn't miss!  *grins*  Yea, I'll call him tomorrow, see what is up.  Avoiding politics is best.  If hanging up isn't a part of it.  A gentle... reminder.  We aren't on the same sides of the Civil War.  Best to not discuss it.  No CW, doesn't like there will be one, or even a strong win.  It looks like he will just roll and everyone quits and goes home.  Can't do it solo.  I suppose that is how he sees it.  Whatevs.  

A harsh morning.

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A middling headache and a severe stomach ache.  Not sure why the belly hurts.  It, again, feels like I've been struck across the midsection with a 2 x 4.  It really hurts.  As well, sticky mucus is back.  I should have enough water pills left.  All I need is a normal, or lesser actually, dose.  I seem dry, just not quite dry enough.  One might do.  Usually I take three.  I fear if I took three now, it would cause other problems.  I haven't been able to drink enough lately, for that.

Ducks and rabbits have been tended.  The girls have received a treat, if Sam is yeowling for some reason.  I've chased her a bit, for that.  At least give me time to take ibuprofen... or anacin today? and get into some shape.  Her litter was cleared last night, she definitely has hard food, her water is very good, and she has been treated within minutes of waking.  DON'T YELL when I am trying to suffer to wake!  Grrrh!

I thought I checked the temp.  If so, I thought it was reading 22.  Still seems cool, cooler than it is oddly.  Then again, I'm not sure I did check, so...  I'll... check in a bit, again.  Next time I am out that way.  If I can remember what it reads.  In a bit, I will heat some of the chicken stew, adding spinach while at it.  I think that last really adds to the vegetal flavor.  And, yet, I'll take it.  I would like to start making a stew a week, or every other week.  Perhaps even figuring out cold sich for summer.  It is a good way to spread thinning provisions around.  I am living on air, almost, these days.  Not sure how much longer I can do that.

Later.

A bit sore, slightly fevered, but not bad.

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Oh, cough is back, lightly, from time to time.  And the chest hurts.  It is from a sore heart.  Oh well.

I kept the waterers clear.  It was 22 much of the night?  Right until the last check time.  It had dropped to about 4 F.  And, yes, the water froze.  There is a limit, at night, to what even warm water and plenty of drinking can do at that temp.  I couldn't tell it had gotten that chill until I checked the waterers.  Checking the thermometer, to see how cold it had gotten, and... yep.

The chicken soup is put away.  I wasn't sure I would get to that.  I had hoped to work.  Not possible.  I worried I would crash, and the soup would go bad.  Nope.  I wanted another bowl, but I was done.  I will portion it out, from now on, and just eat a bowl at a time.  If I really want to bowls?  So be it.  Most likely, the fuss of mussing with it, will keep me to one bowl.  It is quite good.

So tired.  I hurt.  Confused.  On to bed, at just more than a quarter before seven.  Good day and night.

Chicken vegetable soup.

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I did something I almost never do.  I impressed myself.  That soup was as good as I have ever had.  Everything from scratch.  Fresh vegetables to just cooked chicken, stripped from the bone.  The vegetables were not overcooked, the chicken was tender medium to small bits, the spices and herbs, to salt and pepper, were spot on.  This... is what I would expect from my mother.  Magic.

Now, there were some things I have learned.  A flavor I had always thought was a mistake?  It isn't.  I never quite knew what it is.  I do now.  It is a vegetal flavor, from having so many fresh vegetables.  Ah!  Now, knowing this, I can truly enjoy this flavor.  I don't need to be a vegetarian to do so.  It, just... makes sense, with soups and stews, now.  And is welcome rather than off-putting.  Live and learn.

I only put one container of beef stock in.  Which was enough.  I didn't try to thicken quite to a stew.  It was a chicken soup I was after, just... a bit thicker.  Obtained and as exactly as I had intended as possible.  I will absolutely have to do this more often.  Pork, from pulled pork, chicken as today... pieced, and beef as I did before, if without experimental spices and herbs.  

Perhaps, in time?  Though, with some dishes... why complicate or change?  A simple (if not that simple or easy as is) meat stew or soup... keep it classic, keep it simple.  Enjoy the seemingly humble.  What a gift.  Remember, the good in us is a gift from God.  At this point, we of our own accord are... wrong, left, sinful.  Even to cook a good meal is a grace.  And... I have been graced.  My mother played a hand in it.  I have done my part.  But... from above.  This is surely a grace.

The other good thing?  I'd bet you could almost eat the whole pot and not gain too much weight.  While it is oddly filling.  I had one and and half bowls (sixteen ounce max, but there is no way you put sixteen ounces in... probably twelve to fourteen ounces) and I am absolutely stuffed.  I feel pampered and happy.  As to potatoes?  I chopped them into medium pieces, and only had about three or four pieces.

The only things I might change in, out, or on top?  Mushrooms!  There are several varieties which would be perfect, of which I am aware and which are available to my knowledge... browner mushrooms are best, but white will do.  As well, chinese cabbage or kale would be a reasonable alternative to cabbage.  I think kale would be best, for lasting.  But if you just clear the veggies each time you eat, and put the meat and liquid up for next time, any veggie will do.  I suppose there are a few more options, but... julienned daikon radish, or water cresses...  Oh, and something definitely for next time... green or spring onions, sliced on the diagonal, sprinkled on top in large amounts!

It's as good as I can do.  

About time to check on the rabbits.  Actually I will just take them fresh water.  I checked earlier.  I had to free up a few of the waterers.  Now I will take them fresh, and pull the old.  I try to give them much more water, if I missed.  In the summer I will try to create a watering system based on five gallon pales, so they always have fresh water.  Dumping the main container a few times a day, especially on hot days.  Perhaps having frozen bottles enough for in the cages with them, and in the tanks to help keep it all cool for them.

As well, perhaps an animal 'tractor', so they can trim the grass.  I just don't think the ducks need one, though for brooding hens, it might be good?  Ugh.  I'm almost a farmer... type.  :p  Later.

Chicken stew, in the making.

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A few things.  When making a stew or soup?  Start out with very, very, basic herbs and spices.  The base needs to be, pretty much, limited to salt, pepper, onion, garlic.  I am a spice and herb lover, but varying just a bit, in the basics, can end with a very strange flavor.  As with  the beef stew, all I can say is... don't go there.  If you want celery, onion, carrot, or a ginger based start?  Fine.  Just... if you are a typical American, your taste buds just aren't going to like... strange.  Perhaps you can grown that flavor profile... to love it.  At the beginning, it just won't work.

I was careful when constructing the base.  Salted mildly, peppered enough though not so that the flavor comes through, garlic and onion flakes.  Very small amounts, time for it to disperse... then another tasting.  It took an half hour to get the base going, and up to taste.  If the flavors become too potent while simmering, I will add more water.

The chicken hindquarters are warming to room temperature.  I have added 16 ounces of beef stock.  I need to obtain chicken legs and pork hocks, for adding to the stew... gelatin is your friend.  I did add thickener, just going with guar gum... half a teaspoon in hot tap water.  I just chopped celery and added that.  I am dithering on whether to add the cabbage, but I think I have to add it.  I thought I might wait, then strain out the celery... but... why?  I do like celery.  Just... weird internal debates regarding food, I guess.  So I will add the cabbage as I go to check on the rabbits.

The chicken doesn't need cooked.  The other veggies do need to cook, but I would rather not have them mushy.  So, an half hour after the cabbage starts, I'll remove the chicken from the bone, then add the veggies while I start.  An half hour for those and perhaps fifteen minutes simmer time for the chicken meat?  I'll... live and learn.  Remember, elevation means longer cook times.  If... that can be your friend, once you understand and learn to use it.  Ugh.

It does look like quite a few vets get both ssd and va disability.  They are lying.  This is political.  I am not sure what that lawyer was on about, though he might have seen that my file has been flagged for attack.

Anyway... on to the rabbits and at least checking on the ducks.  The ducks don't mind staying out.  I don't mind, either, except for predators... which mostly attack at night.

Good and bad.

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A rough wake, if not as bad as it was, or even in the same way.  A headache, though easily fixed.  Kidneys are hurting, probably how much I ate?  Or... just that I actually ate?  However, most flu symptoms are gone.  Or... were.  I ended up taking water pills (and potassium) last night, as I was beginning to flood... my feet and ankles.  That cleared out the nasals!  I hadn't thought about that, but, yea, it works.

The headache was due to the nasals being closed up, plugged up, with dry mucus.  A bit of clearing and ibuprofen have helped that a great deal.  The kidneys?  Well, when you don't eat, then do, and your kidneys are on the blink anyway, it... throws those.  I am sure they will settle as I attempt to eat more regularly, and correctly.

I still haven't fed and watered critters.  Moving too slow.  but I have everything ready.  I will get to them shortly.  I will, as well, attempt to keep their waterers going, and I might leave the ducks out the night, so they can water and feed as they desire.  I'll be checking on the rabbits every few hours anyway, making sure their waterers are flowing and have enough water in them.  I do my best.

I'll put the chicken out, to warm to room temperature, while I prepare to feed and water critters.  In an hour or two, I'll pull the meat.  I may, before then, begin the soup, or stew, liquid base.  Using the fats from cooking, some of the veggies... carrots, celery, and onions... to add small flavor while I heat the water, fats, stock, and guar gum slurry... or should I try psyllium husk... I think I only have ground, which should do?

Yes, stew tonight.  I may add the last of the whole cream, if only to the first bowl of stew?  Or sour cream?  I'll think on it.  I best get to the critters.  Good evening and day.

Very good.

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I got the birds in and the waterers collected and in, plus a pale of water for refilling when they thaw.  The rabbits are getting extra long water times, and I am doing what it takes to give it to them.  The girls are being treated, again.  But I have to cut back on that.  Twice a day, that's it.  But with two wet food feedings, some times bits of my dinner, plus all the dry they can eat, I don't feel any guild, even when I miss once or twice a month.

Chicken, full hindquarters, roasted.  Perfect.  Or, as good as I can do.  I used the dutch oven.  I put six (halves) of bacon, thick cut, in and let the go for about an half hour.  It looked a bit overdone.  After letting it cool and lose oil on towels a bit... just in case... I tasted.  Oh... that was some seriously delicious bacon.  Then, into the oven four big hindquarters.

Roasted a fairly long time, in the bacon fat.  Flipped and flopped about every twenty to thirty minutes.

I had one, with a potato, for dinner.  Absolutely perfect, to my way of thinking.  I have three left, cooling.  I will strip the meat off the bones tonight or tomorrow.  Then add that in with broth, vegetables, and... Hmm, I need to buy more mushrooms.  I would love to find kale, too, but that seems strongly off the menu.  Just the wrong season, here or there.  Chinese cabbage would be good, too, for a change.

I need milk, for kefir.  I'm getting back into that.  So I need to get out, if possible.  Yea, we will see.  Not sure how possible it is, but a chicken soup, or stew, would be wonderful.  Beef wasn't bad, if not quite my gig.  Now for chicken.  Pork next?  Probably.  If I could get set up to make a soup or stew a week, then make other meals from time to time, or have meat crumble ready for keto tacos or salad, plus small cuts of various meats ready on standby?  Life could be a bit easier.

Why kefir?  I believe in it.  At least in homemade kefir.  It does something... right.  Further, it can be used as a living marinade.  It can really soften foods.  Mediterranean cooks and chefs know how to use it.  It can, probably, be used to bring... dated meats back into function.  If you don't have refrigeration, and hate to waste, figure it out.  They, often, use yogurt.  But this does as well.  Further, it is wonderful all on it's own.  Add just a touch of fruit, or vegetable, and blend it.  Or, and this took a while, eating it raw.  I do enjoy.  It gets rid of most of the carbs out of milk.  Makes it more useful.  Even offers whey, for fermenting other things, such as homemade sauerkraut and else.  A worthy food.

So... I probably should hit it.  A shower first would be good.  Good night, probably.  Maybe a bit more gaming, to begin cooling down... digesting dinner.  Maybe a trim before the shower.  Still, time is ticking.  Be well. 

A spooky night, and last day really.

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When snot can become cement, closing or threatening to close everything off, it does get a bit... frightening.  Tea doesn't help, not even by the gallon.  Vodka only helps slightly.  Sitting up, though especially laying down, sitting up only helps very marginally as the air flap back there seems gravity driven.  While that doesn't make a difference to the cement-like mucus, gravity does help every so slightly in some mild way, to keep the flap down... or up... or whatever.  Up, I think, if that also happens to be down... seen in the right way...

Getting to bed was made more difficult, and this was fear inducing.  Once in bed, sleeping soundly was difficult.  Between the clunky action of the snotted air passage flap, there was the fear it wouldn't open... or shut... and I'd have to fight for air.  Never did.  There were moments I had to try to swallow, blow, spit, or all in a succession of various options until it opened... or closed... worked as it was supposed to at that moment.

I am even struggling a bit this morning.  This, by far, has been the most trying part of this illness.  Now, I have some great doubt about a strain randomly generating out in the wild.  It can happen, it doesn't do so for the five o'clock news... as this seems to have.  No, this is a next gen virus, they had in stores in case the sheeple wouldn't buckle.  They have more serious ones in store.  Remember when Trump scrummed on coffvid?  Or some such?  Yes, they knew.

To get rid of the old, to tear down and rebuild various industries and possibly right to infrastructures.  They are doing much.  Good?  To day planners, who don't believe or have a need of God?  I suppose.  Those who have not faith, have fear.  Funny thing is, those who fear will always fear, no matter the need.  So much so that they will create a greater need for fear than they initially had a real reason to fear in the first place.  It will get interesting... if it isn't already.

The question isn't who will lead you, who will save you, who can help you.  The question is, what can you do, how can you do it, how quickly can you be ready to do it, and... will you do it alone, if that is required.  Do you feel lucky, Punk?  I have limits.  I am willing to push those.  Further, I would honestly rather be a free man than a safe, secure, monetized, unit of Babylon.  And, I will die to be so.  Remain so?  It... hasn't been tested... quite yet.

We will see.  A few ibuprofen to kick off the day.  Oh... I am even more certain this is china flu now.  The ladies (cats) have it.  The cutest damn little sneezes you ever heard.  If the accidental gas after is a bit heady.  :p  I worry about Sam, but she seems to be doing better with it than Sassy.  We'll see.  I think we will make it.  But, yes, that it jumped species has me more concerned... if more for the rabbits.  Ugh.  Ducks?  I... don't think so.  I sure hope not.  But these Virologists can be some nasty people, with no care or worry, if allowed by world governments and major corporations.  Hell, they put murdered baby bits in vaccines, and got this pope to sign off on it.  Hell, if you find yourself in it?  Don't stop.  You are in the wrong place.  This is looking more and more like hell every day.

Well...  Now to wake and get started?  Yea.  Too late to make a call.  But maybe I could do some cleaning?  Trim whiskers?  Shower?  Wash dishes, laundry?  I... must try.  I feel like hell this morning... morning to me... but... that isn't always a point.  Feelings, of emotion or body, can't be allowed to rule the day.  There are limits, but... there should be limits in all ways.  As mentioned, when in hell, keep going.  Good afternoon, and day.

It's been a good night.

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Well, symptoms are minimal and the waterers haven't frozen.  Well, one did, but it was nearly empty.  I simply replaced it.  I have let them drink hugely.  And, yes, they have been quite satisfied.  Feed is off, but that is expected.  It is about time I go bring in the last waterers.  this time I will reset them right away, as well as getting the feed bucket ready.  It just makes it all happen much more quickly and smoothly.

As I wake in the morning, sometimes each part of a chore can leave me too tired to keep going.  If I have to fill the feed bucket, then fill and clean the waterers, then this and that and the other thing... I... can just end up sitting down in confusion.  More when it's really cold, or I am sick.  I lost track and get lost and the chores don't get done.  I should have had food and water out by, say, ten?  noon?  I lost five or six hours somehow.

With everything ready, there is a chance I will see the clock, and even if I don't want to get up, if it's all ready, I can often get up and go do that.  Sometimes it can help me push my morning back, so I keep a bit of the day.  Sometimes not.  I do my absolute best.  I simply have limits.  I don't mind, or mind much less, if the animals are fed and watered.  Cats too.

It must be getting cool out there, or winter stretches.  The girls usually keep mice pretty much out of the house.  A few have been caught and consumed lately.  I found the ass end of one.  Surprising, they usually don't leave extras.  Though... I think they will share.  Perhaps they have had more than I noticed and are done with them, or were at that moment.  None noticed when I took the bit to the trash.  Often they will follow, and meow, asking what I think I am doing.  Not happy.  Or it might have been my share.  Still, it hurts their feelings when I toss a nice hind shank set.  :p

The flu is mostly gone.  Sticky nasals and being a lot out of it remain.  But most aches, pains, sniffles, sneezing, and even coughing are gone.  I still take ibuprofen morning and night.  And have a splash of vodka, morning and evening.  I am drinking more, if more slowly, and over a much greater time.  I do try to blow my nose to keep  things clear, and spit.  It just doesn't work all that well, even with the vodka, though worse without it.  The vodka doesn't help me manually remove the phlegm, but it does seem to simply dissolve some of it.  Not a lot, with a big sip, just... some, over time, in time... very marginal.  I find that a fatted coffee... using whole fresh cream... helps remove it the best.  I think the whole cream itself sticks to the phlegm, and the vodka more removes that... which then takes the other stuff with it.  Nasty.

Later or probably good night... and morning... and... whatever else.  Prayers, blessings, God speed, and such.  I don't have to like you to love you.  If I can kill you if I love you, if you go evil.  Amen.

Weird rather than rough day.

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I kept forgetting to feed and water the rabbits.  It wasn't until after the ducks were put in that I realized the problem.  Even then, when I came back in, I forgot for another hour or two.  It's the flu, it's doing something to my brain.  I can't remember... anything.  I can get up to pour tea, end up reseated fifteen minutes later... knowing not what I have done... the realizing the problem.

Eventually I get tea.  Or whatever.

I finished off the last of the meat in the stew.  I am going to dump the rest.  Some mushrooms remain, but not enough to dig through to get.  It was... okay.  The meat was quite good, a bit of chew to it, but a nice crust, and rightly cooked to a medium, medium rare.  Then again, nothing is tasting all that good?  Well, it just isn't interesting.  The flu stifles hunger, interest.

As too the nasals?  I'll bet the reason some have trouble breathing is because the mucus has been turning into glue.  Even with vodka, it doesn't release well or easily.  My nasals, for now, are big enough that they don't almost literally glue shut, as if I had swallowed varnish.  This would be dangerous, not just for the old, but for any with smaller diameter nasal passages.  Even I can't clear the stuff.  While I haven't lost my sense of taste, I have never had sticky gunk in my nose and in my throat like this before.  I am really wondering if this isn't china flu.

It is winding down.  It is looking like Trump is just going to go on home, not really worry about it all.  I'm not sure if he has made a deal, or just doesn't really care.  Shit happens.  I guess?  He and others seem to have absolutely no interest in... anything.  If something was going to happen, they'd be targeting or acting by now?  I think so.  Of all people, who talk a game to death, he is right up there.  And... not boo.  One can still hope, I suppose.  But... practically?  Yea, I don't think so.  A bad thing?  Even for those who wish it.  They just don't know it yet.  Trotskyites never do get it, until they get it.  The rest of us will... do what we must.  Living or dying isn't bad for those who know better.  *wink*

I'd love to go right on back to bed.  Instead, I will stay up to check on water in about two hours.  And again two hours later, and even change the water at that later time if needed.  Yea, the waterers will hard freeze, but the rabbits need water.  I will also try to get up early, to water them early and again.  It's cold out there, they need water.  A slight glitch can be survived, too many or too long, and there is a problem.

I so want to sleep though.  Gaming helps me stay awake, if I... can't remember, in my condition, what I have done.  Later.

Awake, for what it is worth.

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The ducks were let out, a pale of water fetched... for the cats.  Waterers were reset and food set, for the rabbits.  I turned the furnace up, to warm the water first before taking it out.  Oh, cleared litter too.  It's been a day or two.  Wow does that pile up.  At least they only go with bad for maybe a day, anymore.  Ugh.  I have THREE boxes!  You'd think that could take two days.  Nope.  A day and still be usable... at two days there... it's a total mess.  Fresh litter in too, today.  It helps keeping it fuller, but that comes with other problems.

Perhaps I should get a fourth litter box?  Maybe.  But for two cats!  Gah!

Sleep was good.  But I am losing days.  It was down by... very late... or very early if you think that way.  Sleep was very good, if also very long.  I dressed warmer today, but... it's not helping.  It's going to be an achy day, when I can't warm up.  The ice sheet in the pool was about two inches thick.  I cracked it carefully, so I could remove larger chunks... easier that way.  Then refilled well.  Oh the ducks absolutely love that pool, especially now that I can keep it fresh, clean, open, and available most of the time.

I am warming stew.  Actually have warmed it, am letting it cool.  Not supposed to, but I bought potato rolls while at the store, for with it.  I... needing something to sop the juice.  Call it a rare treat for doing a good deed.  Plus, it is a way to add more fats, in the form of butter.  I won't do that every time I have soup or stew, but I will do it from time to time.  I am pleased with my feeble, humble, effort.  It isn't super, but it is a good start.  Next time will be better, whether chicken, beef, or pork.  Actually, I made a simpler stew with some of the remaining pulled pork.  It was good as well, if still... lacking... something.

I am finally beginning to make soup.  And, I think that will end up being a very good friend to me, in the long run.  Soup is so much better in winter.  Though, if you can learn the tricks of cold soup, it can be a fantastic summer dish.  But... that... making summer cold soup... is tight.  Hot stew and soup can be technical, but cold soup has to be perfect to be readily consumable.  Think drinkable, savory, jello?  Smooth as glass, spiced well enough but not too much, and... I can't say it enough... smooth!  At least to my culinary and gourmet beliefs.  *wink*

Hey, about those...  Hmm, don't even care about sports anymore?  Never did, for me.  I see, though, more are in my boat than before.  So... what is it men are supposed to discus when trying to change the subject?

Oh... I know.  Later.

Beef stew.

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Beef soup, more like... or a cross between the two?  Well, maybe.  If that would still be a soup to most people's minds... including mine.  How was it?  Okay, just okay.  The spices were wrong.  The older veggies were mushy.  It wasn't as thick as hoped, if that part can be altered at any moment.  It truly wasn't horrible.  Some people, if they like that particular mix of herbs and spices, might have loved it.  The veggies weren't too over cooked, just a bit.

But the beef was excellent.  I parted bite sized pieces from a chuck roast myself.  The mushrooms were superior.  Hmm, I may have used to wrong fat.  I tried avocado oil.  It didn't smell or taste bad, but it is different.  I think I will fry with butter or bacon fat from now on.  Mostly, by parts, the soup was good and is worth eating.  As a whole, though, it just didn't come together... to my satisfaction.

No worries.  This is the first batch of soups and stews of many sorts to come.  I am just beginning my journey into this new, and to me terrifying, culinary field.  They young gent, who made the beef 'French term for beef and wine', after this try of mine, did much better than I even thought prior.  Yes, he did.  He was all but begging for acceptability... which... I wish he hadn't worried.  Not only classic, but right.  I know what it should taste like.  I have dined with... perhaps not kings, but men and women who... know the world and could afford the world... in it's oldest traditions.

Still, as mentioned, a start.  I will finish this soup.  I won't... regret the meals.  And, as mentioned, if this is a flavor profile one prefers, this would be a delight.  I simply won't waste a good meal.  I will add fresh veggies as needed, I even have fresh spinach to add to a bowl from time to time, and allow to wilt well.  No wine, but wine vinegar was used... a bit late to deglaze, but... with the pot as it was, I am not sure that was needed.

Not a bad thing, just not my preferred thing.  It should last a few days, perhaps a week.  Mushrooms and meat are my main goals.  The veggies will go downhill quickly, even being refreshed occasionally.

A late day.  I did get the waterers in, and ducks shut away.  The girls have been fed.  I need to get my vitamins and medicines reset.  Need to do a phone consult with the doc.  It's... all I can do for the moment.  Well, a call to the lawyer tomorrow too.  Just get it done!  So many things on my mind, politics one part.  To live in interesting times is not a grace.  But it is... a time.

Prayer, when waiting is all else left... or it is that time.  So... pray.  Amen.  

A long day.

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I didn't get the phone call made.  But I got much else done.  Some grocery shopping, if I forgot mushrooms.  A few other needed checks, on prices.  Not a lot of money, so I won't push.  I am trying to store up, even just a bit.  It goes so fast though!  I am done spending for the month, minus any bills incoming, and there are always bills.

I should be good on groceries, save maybe a few fresh veggies.  I pay the milk bill at least a month in advance.  Water... utilities... seems caught up.  Hmm, I may buy real feed, not wheat, soon.  Oh, I should have bought tylenol and more ibuprofen while out.  Next month, again, I will check for more waterers.  They simply may not stock them again until spring... the ones I use.

I also did a little practice, with towing a small trailer.  It's more a skill that could come in handy, for me or others, soon or late.  You would think you could just do it.  I can back my vehicle very well.  A trailer is just a bit more finicky.  Think the difference between the girlfriend and the wife... and should they meet.  :p

Mostly a passenger.  But I did some go fetch, and minor else.  Exhausted.  But my cold has, mostly, been under control.  Meh.  A few ibuprofen and a shot of vodka in something would be good.  I did check the waterers.  Two were out, one was frozen up.  So I replaced those.  The rest were still flowing and had enough that I didn't bother with them.

I fed the girls.  I'll hit their litter in a bit, as I grab a pail of water for their water bowl.  They seem to really enjoy the fresher water, and Sam doesn't pee as much?  Softened water, they had been drinking.  I just didn't think I had an easy alternative, until I began tending rabbits, it just seemed too much extra.  Still, I... do what I can for them.  And for it, Sam is doing her best to stay alive.  She worries about her ogre, as he worries for her.

It was a good day.  And well warm enough to be out and about without longjohns, a second top layer, or ever really warm socks.  I didn't even need a jacket.  Just my medium grade thermal top, nylon cargo pants... nylon?  I think so, synthetic socks, and boots.  Very warm.  It is about 22 F out there.  Perhaps, as my health improves in various ways, I can handle the cool a bit better again?  Maybe.

Later.

Down way too late, up way too early.

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That's what the body is saying.  So very... cranky, the body... it is today.  A bit of a headache, still with a few symptoms, and something with the nasals... they just will not be cleared.

I took a shower, and put up the stew veggies.  Not separately from the liquid, I just didn't have the space, or vessels.  As I was showering, I kept trying to clear the nasals.  Even last night, it just wasn't happening.  It's become a very thick mess in there, even for having some minor flow, it's mostly like tar.  Air simply won't push it out.  On the good side, most other symptoms are mostly gone.  Oh, they return, but even that is becoming less frequent.  Darn it, I meant to use vix rub.  I was just too tired to remember.

I may be awake just to feed and tend the animals.  All have been fed and watered.  I just wanted to get that out of the way.  It is 22 outside, and it was 54 upstairs.  I slept quite well.  I am sleeping very warmly, at night.  Usually I sleep better without longjohns or socks.  Though, sometimes, I need one, the other, or both of those.  I have a strange body.

I thought I'd at least give it a go, to get up and get going.  The go just hit a wall.  Back to bed.  I'll... be back... or... sometime.  So tired, I need to get back to bed.  Well, at least the critters are tended at a proper time.  You should seen all the happy furry and feathered critters.  Henry was cracking jokes, and the gals were sometimes laughing with him.  The rabbits just smiled, as they are able.  Sam and Sassy feel like second class citizens, getting fed early and right after the others.  It's a step up from lately?  My bad.  So tired, ill, getting it all done at once hasn't been possible.  But, then, their water doesn't freeze... or butts... and they have access to rather fresh water 24/7.  Plus they get food (canned, twice a day), have food (hard kibbles, constantly available), and usually get treats (usually twice to three times a day, if I am out... en route, of course) as well.  So, I'm not as worried about them.  If, to them, it seems... lame.  Children!

Anyway.  I tried to get down earlier, it just wasn't happening.  I think around 03:40?  Or was that when on I started on the food and shower?  Bleh.  I am just not really to be awake.  Later.

To bed!

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Right after a shower.

A bit fussy, today.  The body, illness.  A few tough boughts, of coughing, sneezing, sore throat.  Still, not bad.  I am more angry when these things pop back up.  And more that I am not a lot better, or... betterer?  Right.  I feel so much better much of the time, then one symptom or another comes back harshly.  It doesn't even last long.  Gah!

I just haven't been able to get to the chicken.  I used the mushrooms, yesterday, to make a mushroom only remake of the oyster stew.  Fantastic, and a lot less expensive.  I wonder if there is just oyster juices out there?  Whatever, it was excellent.  Tonight, not wanting to let the veggies go, I minimally processed the cabbage, or one small head of it.  Then added veggies for the stew and spices.

I am definitely not a vegetarian.  But that was quite awesome.  Well, and I did add butter.  But almost any good fat would do.  I finally had a hot, filling, meal.  Oh, I had to chop... they are like white carrots... not turnips, as I want to say, but... parsnips?  Long, carrot shaped, white to cream in color?  That.  Oh, those were delicious, mostly.  On the front end, they had a carrot like sweetness.  On the back edge, they had an onion pepper flavor... Well, onion.  Ripe onion.  They have pepper, when cooked, because... I added pepper!  Hotter pepper, if not the habanero or more.  The body just isn't in that mood.  Still, probably hotter than you could take.  Delicious.  I'd have more but I just can't.  I'd like to save the fluid, and the veggies, separately, if I can get to it.

I still have to take a shower, might as well try.  I'd like to pick up chicken tomorrow, fresh, and get that going to be boned after cooking.  Save the juices and fats, and have a splendid soup.  The beef broth is ready, and I now know how to make it thicker.  I guess a good soup really isn't bad, it's... just... I really like it thicker.  I don't usually eat bread these days, but... something... I need something for soppings.

Good night.  Sleep well.  See you in the morning, or heaven.  If you are going to hell, or if we both end up there... I... don't think they get visitors.  Ever.  So... don't go to hell.  Just sayin'.  Good night.

Doing well if doing poorly?

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Truly, not bad.  Continuing with light chills, a very mildly sore throat, slight fever, sniffles to very dry nasal passages, everything phasing in and out, coming and going, and sometimes all gone for bits of time.  There might be something better than ibuprofen... tylenonl I am told.  And there might be something better than vodka, for the cough and sore throat, but... these things work, and don't have as restrictive of shelf-lives?

I may add tylenol, though I will keep ibuprofen... for when aspirin isn't working on rare occasions.  I will actually stock up on a few bottles... smaller... of vodka.  Nothing fancy, it isn't for tippling.  And once opened, it probably goes fairly fast.  Cough medicine, which is out of date, is terrifying stuff.  I did that once, never again.  Oh, that made the flu seem pleasant, but I was too crippled by all to go to the hospital.  The VA won't come get me, and ambulances charge no matter, and would charge me personally.  I have no easy way to medical.

Oh, as to vodka?  Well?  That... did kick in, this time.  I finished it, but don't want to go that far.  A shot with morning coffee, and maybe a nightcap, but just one shot, for the throat, if it is sore.  Which, this morning, it is.  No need for three, and it did make me a bit fuzzy.  Not the goal, or even a want.  Still, it does work, so there is that.

I dreamed of a past love.  I was visiting her.  She had slimmed down, that I knew, but I didn't know the dimensions.  On the way, I stopped at a pseudo sexy clothes shop.  Japanese, modern, so... small.  I looked over their wares, and found several things I liked, for her.  A surprise.  The stuff almost looked plastic, but felt more like... velvet?  It was... different.  I asked about their sizing.  She spoke.  But I knew that women's 1x, 2x, and 3x was probably more like a women's US 6-8, 8-10, and 10 to 12?  She... knew nothing.

I knew.  Anyway... So I got this... interesting little bepop for the doe in question.  She wouldn't like it, until she was in it.  Then I wouldn't get her out of it, until I did.  *wink*  You... have no idea of... back in teh days.  Anyway.  I then asked about the panties.  Which is how I learned about the feel of the material.  I asked about that first.  It was a warm material, and, like I said, plush in spite of looking like plastic.

The sales girl sidled closer, after asking about the feel of the panties... thigh-high... french cut...  Sidled indeed.  My hands knew this gig.  Up the whositz.  I was... proper.  After all, I was in for things for a love, potential lover.  Not that I didn't get a handful, just not a... well... fresher handful.  She was a bit unhappy with my slim pickings, but not too sore.  Asked about size, looked them over, realized those would be on the line.  A no on those.  Never buy a woman panties too small.  Know your squeeze.  Tellin' ya.

So, I got my packages, and got going.  As expected, she didn't like the look.  I told her to shut up and put one of the outfits on.  She complied.  You just have to be nice with the cuckoo birds.  She came out, looked fantastic, and was quite happy with it.  Women love to look fuckable, especially if it's been a while.  I lifted the skirt part a bit.  Bah.  She was wearing Saturday after a week of work panties.  I told her to go get me a pair of her slimmer french-cuts.  She did.  I changed them, on her.

She, as usual, tossed the water out of a glass at me, which I easily dodged.  Then I made her wet.  I didn't dream that far, or remember, but I'll bet she fed me grapes, with my head resting in her lap after.  Perhaps dates and nuts and such as well.  Women can be funny that way.  At least the women I knew.

Yea... that's... how I dream.  And, believe me, things like that have happened.  And... worse.  Better?  Depends on your point of view.  As I see it these days, if such a thing happened, I would have to go to confession.  And I would.  But... it... isn't... impossible.  Just unlikely.  Probably.  Not my problem, just a dream.  A rather good one, whatever else.