Awake, finally.

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Oh but what a brutal day.  First, I got to bed around 05:xx.  I have no idea, other than it was after that hour but before six.  Then I started waking, and my body wanting to wake, around 09:30.  Then every half hour to hour it would beg me to get up.  Asshole!

Then, as it started getting toward when I wanted to get up, my body refused to budge.  Around 14:00 onward, every half hour to hour, even every fifteen minutes, I would wake and want to get up but my body would just lump there.  Could not shove it out.  What assholery is this!  Never mind, it is 15:09 and I am finally awake.

I would say even an hour before 14:00, so two hours of begging and pushing my body to wake.  It still isn't really awake, that's just me.

I fed Sassy, first thing.  Opened the back porch, so she has access to hard food.  She is eating more, now.  It just that I cut off her food supply for while I sleep.  To be honest, I should do it while I am awake, I just have no way of feeding her through the night, nor would I wish to contend with her while I am awake and she is hungry.  She is a pest, as is, while I sleep.  She makes noises, and else.  Sometimes I hear them, sometimes not... consciously.  But she does disturb my sleep.  Though, it isn't all just food.  Even when I forget to shut the porch off, she does the same thing.

Ah, a call from mother?  Well.  All good.  Then, a delivery.  I think the last or second to last package for the month?  More paper plates.  I am getting littler and big plates.  And, I reuse until they are shot.  It's about saving money, at least to a point.  But, too, it limits my exposure to dishes, because I can't keep up!  I keep two boxes, one open... of each size.  One full.  When I hit the full one, I start looking at prices for a next new box.  That is how I do tp, as well, and most things like that.  Tissue paper, anything expendable, not food.  Similar with food, though with two to four twelve-packs.

Now?  I am hoping to get the wood cut and stacked, the fencing cut loose, rolled, and stowed, and the area cleaned up.  Then a shower and properly dressed, and... some other things.  I best get to the wood pile.  Later.

Some more music.

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Populated my screen, they did.  Some from other things, others from... memories and thoughts.  I do enjoy when things show, things I appreciate.

Somebody, it seems, wanted the lyrics on screen, plus a visually interesting video for the song I played recently.  They did well, by my grading schedule, so I thought to share it.

The sleeping rug and mats are in.

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I couldn't do as much as hoped.  But, getting to the store, and getting the mats out, and back, was something.  A shower too.  Well, and keeping Sassy fed and her litter clean.  A few other very light things as well.

Oh, and Sassy was quite pleased with the shower and brushing of teeth.  She has been enjoying my company since, off and on, all night.  She has been avoiding me, and fairly, lately.  But she would meowl from the other room.  I... knew what it was, just couldn't do much about it.

I am feeling very hot.  The shower, being dressed warmly.  It is down to 70, here near the computer.  I think it is 68 in the rest of the downstairs.  It was 64 upstairs, in the main, when I took the mats up.  I do have those set up and stacked, but will have to reset the bedding yet before bed.

At 05:18, I am hoping to bake the chicken.  I still haven't opened it up, to see if it is good... or good enough to try.  If not, I'll take it, and any other trash I can gather, out.  As well, I have burger from my second to last grocery shopping, and some ground chicken, ready to fry... if they are still good.  And I may fry one of the blade chops.  Those are delicious, tasty as the dickens!  I will probably bake a potato, while at it.  I don't get much of those, or often.  But I still enjoy.

After cooking, and eating, I may go on to bed.  Still sore, but able to push on through to little things.  Later.

Out.

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I forgot, something arrived, something which needs something else... store bought milk.  Why?  It's easier to start with.  Kefir!  finally.  So, out I went.

While I was there, I looked over their pork roasts, blade chops, and ground burger.  Found excellent prices and quality, so picked some of those up.  Then remember butter.  Tried for salad, but the just didn't have any predone salads to my liking.  Still, five out of six?  Or such?  Not bad.

Everything is up, already.  I am washing some smaller jars, to begin kefir.  I will burn through the two gallons I got in two weeks, or so, and should have enough kefir grains for half gallon jugs, by then, and they should be ready for raw milk.  I will cancel raw milk for the next two Saturdays, which... should leave me in good shape for financials for the rest of the month, concerning milk.  Ugh.

When the jars have had time to soap out, I will wash and  rinse them again.  Then dry them and leave them to air dry... which will get rid of any bleach from the faucet.  All good.  I suppose I could heat some of the r.o. water, for rinsing.  But, even then, I would have to let them cool.  Not sure it would be any advantage, plus, it would be a waste of r.o. water.

A shower first.

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Not sure I will get to the wood pile tonight.  It is dark, and after the shower, I am tired.  Oh, and I did get the packages of cat treats stowed, and the cat food from the front room back to the stairs to the basement.  I'll get them down yet tonight.  As well, I will hit this room more, yet tonight.  Since I have plenty of light.

The shower was well needed, wanted, and enjoyed.  I may even get another shower before going to bed.  When clean, it is wonderful to stay that way.  Even Sassy has been avoiding me.  Mother renamed her correctly.  And that is fair.  I have no problem with beings who... have taste, limits, requirements, for involvement.  

Oh, and a platter of cheese, salami, and onion.  Some fresh chopped onion really... does add a nice variation.  I am out of the one cheese that can be eaten plain.  The asiago, parmesan reggiano, and gruyere all require grating, then melting into something.  Which is fine.  I bought eggs at the store AND received eggs from the new batch of chickens, from the neighbor.  I may boil a bunch of the store bought.  They are among the better store bought, but it's just not as good as home raised, truly free range produced eggs.  Even the breeds are different, and the home raised are chosen specifically for exacting traits.  I won't knock white eggs, but browns, and blues, and greens, if seen by none but the cook, are delicious to even the eye.  Not sure what colors from this lot, though looked mostly shades of brown.  Very nice.  Terracotta flavored!

Oh, but I never did take my break.  I had hoped to push through fast enough to get out and have some light.  That just wasn't possible.  Though I may use the trimmer yet this evening, if I can get to it before 21:00.  No promises, but... there is that.  Now I need my break, and will game while taking it.  I am right at a place where I am going to attempt to get a tricky trophy.  If... when... I get it, I may restart the game for a full playthrough trophy, at a higher level.  Bleh.  At least I learned the limitations, requirements, and allowances for that trophy.  The last two trophies are a bit unnerving.  Annoying.  But... so be it.

Nice little grouping.

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So far.  The litter boxes cleared and cleaned.  Actually twice.  When I went by them a second time, for other reasons, I happened to notice a few cat apples.  So... scooped and... there.  All very good.  Then, I went to take a shower, but realized I was a bit behind on my pee jugs.  So, I cleaned those out.  They are soaking in a bit of hot bleach water, with the lids on.  About every other, to every third, time, I add bleach to clear to the scrub.

Then a shower?  Well... No.  I decided to feed Sassy.  Then to put the mattresses out on the line, plus the sleeping rug I use underneath.  All out, hung.  It is still difficult, but?  If I do it in an order fashion, it is easier.  Out and up, all good.  Now I need a little break, but a shower is next on the list.  I did, too, brush my teeth, and hit it with the serious mouthwash.  It's... been a bit.  I've not been taking care of all things, teeth weren't on the list.  Today.

A fatted coffee, while I resolve to persevere?  Yes.  But, as suggested, a very good start, right off the block pretty much.

I am still hoping to get to the wood pile out there, so I can water tonight or tomorrow.  Or Wednesday.  But, soon.  I want that wood cut, stacked, that area cleared of other debris, the fencing all down and put up, and the area mowed, for the next watering.  I might be able to get the wood cut and stacked, the area cleared and cleaned, and the fences down and up tonight?  Maybe.

And, maybe, tomorrow, I will put blankets out for an airing of their own.  One thing at a time.  Oh... it's wonderful.  I can see clearly through the oven glass now.  Not that there is really anything to see.  If I need to see, I have to put my eyes on it.  Too dark, even with a bulb, and too odd, with steam and grease from whatever is cooking.  Still, clear glass is... pleasant.  It's the idea, in this case.  Well, and it is pleasant to have a really clean oven compartment, with new shiny aluminum on the grills.  Perty!  Purty?  Whatever.

A bit of gaming.  Then a shower.  A bit more gaming.  Then on to the outside.  If I have to, I will use flashlights and such.  Though, that will limit how much picking up can be done.  Some of it, the big pieces, into the wheelbarrow.  But I'll just leave that for a first hit, while the sun is still up, tomorrow.

The body still hurts, but I... am ready for the pain again.  It's more the lack of energy, than suffering from pain, that keeps me from working.  I... don't mind the pain.  Mostly.  Usually.  Later.

Awake, finally.

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I have no idea when I went to bed, save that it was well into morning light.  A slight headache, probably from gaming, and being up later.  All else is... copesthetic?  Or, so I have heard it put, so put it.  It was about a quarter after sixteen hundred when I awoke, got up.

I realized I have not turned the mattresses, a  Thursday to Saturday thing, but here it is Monday.  So, I stripped the mats, and set them on edge, put the fan on them, and will rotate them through the day, or tonight at the latest.  Unless I put them out to air.  Which... is very tempting, if I can.

Gaming is killing me, trying to get the last trophies from the last dlc content.  I'm not sure I can play well enough, currently, to do so.  You know it is bad, when you can't even play a game that should be simple, with your experience, and native skills.  At least I am keeping some sort of, if off in hours, day schedule.  I haven't, or yet, started flipping through the day, mixing night, day, nap, sleep, wakefulness, all into a life blender... feeling more like being in a plane, which lost it's wings at high altitude, hitting enough g's to pass out from time to time, waking up not knowing anything, except you don't like what is happening or what may be about to happen.  Will you be awake at the right altitude to hit eject?  Will it work, or will that kill you on function?  At least it... is some hope.  Tumbling, tumbling down.

I am hoping to... avoid that this year.  I avoided the heavier sort of that last year, and maybe the year before.  I just, eventually, went more dark as winter came.  God only knows how terrifying that is.  Squeezing every bit of conscious effort against forces so much more powerful than me.  Squeeze, breath, push, shove, all while doing absolutely nothing other than trying to stay conscious.  Thirty years of that, sometimes two or three month or longer episodes.  Assuming I didn't just go to sleep for a month or two.  Waking just enough to get food down, from time to time.  Iowa was harder, it's winters are so deep, hard, brutal.  Utah can be tough, tight, but not... like Iowa.  Even in what I considered the Florida of Iowa, Iowa City, -20 F was very common.  As was ice, sleet, snow, and dark was much more common than light, even more so than Utah.

Well... we will see.  I still need a shower.  Most of the packages have arrived.  A few more to come.  Looks like I overspent again this month.  Ugh.  But, too, I am trying to put money away, in small amounts and pay up some bills.  But it is something.  After the shower, out to the woodpile.  I'd like to do that, and use the weed whip to cut the last fence loose then roll those up and put them away.

Perhaps, if that gets completed, riding the mower around and clearing that area.  Though, I really want to pick up bark and little zingers before mowing.  I weed whipped that area, which had been enclosed by the fence so had overgrown.  But, it will still be a challenge.

If I can get to those things, and still have energy, this room next.  This room is the next thing I will hit.  Period?  That's my theory and I'm sticking to it.  I have cat food and cat treats to be put up, grain to deal with, boxes to disassemble and wrangle, and boxes of keeper stuff to remove.  Ugh.  Ugh, ugh, ugh.  We will see.  It is a new week, I have had some rest.  I will still be working on the last trophies, on my breaks.

Oh, and I would like to cook some food.  Plus, I need to check on medicine dispensers.  Am I out, or nearly?  I am hoping I have enough for one more month.  I also need to set something up with my doctor.  I have to give him a blood test, or he won't deliver meds.  Fair enough.  It's the gas to get there.  Sure, they pay.  But... not for a month or three.  I'm on nickels and dimes, so a hundred spot is brutal.  Well, it costs at least fifty to get there, maybe an hundred, somewhere in there, if I am to have any gas left in the tank.  Well, and I don't keep it on full, so I will have to fill it first, on top of else.  So... it's... a lot of money.

Now... get off my porch!  I can't sit and jab all day!  *grins* 

A thought, about women.

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I do enjoy them.  Whether a visit, an hello, or watching them on the tube, one tube or another.  I don't think of them, mostly, as objects.  Oh, well, there are times.  And, there are times when that is all they are to themselves.  Fair enough.  No, generally, even if I was interested, I think of them as sisters.

Dinner is, almost, served.

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Went looking for a little recipe.  Tuna, salmon, some other canned fish, into a patty.  Fried or baked?  I... was just going to see where the chef, cook, or hungry human, or their story really, took me.  As it ended up, tuna, mixed, and fried.  The video recipe?  Here.

Finally!

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My... troubles... aren't limited to work.  When I fail, fall, I also have trouble thinking and doing.  What do I mean?  I mean, computer games become exceedingly difficult.  Remembering... where to go, how to do it, which buttons to push.  I revert back to having to think about it, with muscle memory failure as a regular difficulty.

My ability to aim well diminishes, spotting things becomes more difficult, and other problems occur.  I have just as many mental limitations as I do physical ones.

So, getting the trophies in this game was difficult.  Or that part of that dlc of the game.  Finally, though, it has been done.  I have one more dlc section for which to obtain the trophies.  I have most of them.  But the final trophies, of course, are... the difficult ones.  Or, in one case, one which wasn't offered directly.  Without looking it up, you can't know what to do.  Though, sometimes, even if they tell you what you have to do, you can't really understand all the rules without looking them up.

One more to go.  Well, and I have found guides that make sense of things as well.  It took... five, six, playthroughs, to get the trophies for the first part?  But that was... messy.  Messier.  I have played this one once through, and got most of the trophies.  I am hoping two playthroughs will see it done.  The trickiest one requires a whole playthrough, most likely on it's own.  I could try to play them all together, just not sure about that.

Unfortunately, the game is terrible about helping one to figure out the best way to do something,  I suppose, playing an area over and over might allow improvement.  But it really isn't... you simply can't perfect the game.  There are too many variables.  So, some of it is luck.

On the other hand, that is part of why I like this game.  It isn't terribly difficult, in one sense.  But that it can't be perfected means... well... that one can't just learn every move, in a specific area, and just trounce it from then on.  It's... closer to real life, in some ways?  In my opinion, yes.  Probably contrived, but it feels natural enough that I can't sense it being contrived.  So... yes.  That I do like.

Still Sunday?  Yes, as my days and night spin, and fall hits, I am losing the ability to be sure which day, or what time, it is based on appearances or senses otherwise.  Thankfully it is still Sunday.  I should be able to get the trash and recycling out.  I think I took recycling out last week, to no avail.  It wasn't that sort of week.  Not much in it.  Maybe another bag, bringing it to a third full.  But, that isn't the point.  Good to have it go.  Trash?  Not sure there will be enough to bother pulling it to the curb though.  One small bag is about it.

The litter boxes are in excellent shape.  I redid the one she mostly uses for pea, which gets the worst the quickest.  The others stay in excellent shape for days.  Sometimes she drinks more, sometimes not.  Strangely she has been drinking more.  She drinks more in the cool than in the summer?  Strange, but true.  Though, as I have cut back on her food, maybe she is eating slightly more dry food, so drinking more?  Never can be exactly sure why, though that would be my bet.

Anyway...  I'll try to get meat, or meats, cooking tonight.  Get the trash and recycling out at least to the bins.  Get a shower in.  And keep up on r.o. water.  I've been doing okay with that, actually.  Doing okay with flatline things, like eating, feeding Sassy, her litter boxes, and water jugs.  Just... not much else, lately.

Though, this year, the hoses are mostly already up.  Just waiting for the last watering, perhaps later this week?  Then those will go up.  I didn't get to raking, now sure I will.  But would like to finish the wood pile, outdoors.  And remove the fences, then mow back there.  Maybe rake, or the worst parts.  Well, and cutting down shrubs, small trees, and sprigs from the trees.  Maybe.  I'll... sure push toward those things.  It would be good to get the fall doings done rightly and quickly.  It'll have to be quickly, or not at all.  Winter is coming.

Later.

Lost in sleep, again.

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Can't be sure when I did go to bed.  Waking around 16:20.  It isn't, exactly, just gaming.  But that is a part of it.  As I attempt to finish the trophies in the dlc additions to the game, and as fall hits, plus as I try to work and do what I can, the world sort of gets fuzzy.  I sleep when I can, and do when I can.

Haven't heard from anyone in a few weeks.  I won't disturb them.  The last time I called either of them, my call wasn't well received.  When... they want to talk, they will.  I don't go where I am not welcome.  So very tired, can't push through that front.  Won't.  I don't mind, it's the way the world is at times.  And, when your people are worldly, it's the way it goes.

Oh, I have cut protein intake to just foods and maybe a scoop of the powder a day, sometimes twice a day.  Whatever I am doing, it finally seems correct.  My fingernails are... terribly strong.  I used to be able to chip them when undoing a spring loaded hook and eye, on the back door.  Now, wrestling with wood, the chainsaw, other tools, and it takes a day of work to chip a few.  They cut just as easily, when trimming.  Though the file takes a lot more work.

Odd.  I had been taking three or more a day, for a while, and that wasn't an improvement.  There must be a middling dose that works better.  One of my gurus had suggested much higher doses of protein.  But, for me anyway, that doesn't work.  I have been on the one to two scoops a day, on the lower range of that, for a few months.  I noticed the strength of the nails a few weeks ago.  It really is reasonable stuff to take.

Oh, and Sassy is preferring to sleep by the back door, back in the washroom.  She has been laying there for... since it cooled into the 70s outside.  I don't know if there is a boy cat that comes by, and they spoon through the door.  Or if she just likes the temp back there, or something else.  She isn't coming around much, though... I... probably need a shower.  That might be part of it.  Cats do their own things, though.  I guess.

Today?  Something to eat.  I had eggs and the last of the chops yesterday.  There were a lot of them, but they were so thin.  These weren't my favored chops in the world, but worked well enough.  Those fried eggs, and some hashed browns with freshly diced onions and some cheese.  I made too much.  Used to be my usual.  Wasn't terribly hungry though.

I need to see what else in there, what is still good, and manage that.  I've not been cooking as I should, or eating rightly.  Too tired.  But, the oven and stove are clean, meat is thawed, hopefully still good.  I should get back to it.  Even if I make a bigger batch, then just spread it out over the week.

It's 73 in here, the warmest place in the house.  Will be like that for a week to a month more, at most.  Will begin getting cool to cold soon.  Some say something is coming, down this way.  Not sure the first real cold snap will hit here, or is more going into the Midwest.  But, either in this first, or a second front of some sort, we will be hit.  I am enjoying this weather.  For me, this is nearly in the perfect range.

On to a shower?  After I wake.  Then some work in this front room.  Maybe, if I get this room sorted well enough for a bit, on to cooking, and maybe some work in the bathroom?  Light work.  It is Sunday.  God knows I have to work when I can.  I'm drowning in things needed done, and can't work on most given days.  He has given me a life of mostly Sundays, I have to take, or create, a weekday when I can.  Oh, if you make it to church, say a prayer for me.  Say hello.  If you have already been, putting a short prayer in, with my name on it, would be welcome.  I pray for you, directly or indirectly, every day.  So... I don't mind asking for it, once or twice a month.  I don't... expect it, but I do ask.  Good day.

Got it, almost.

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And, after looking at the recipe, or listening to it, the only thing I don't have (maybe) is dried parsley (or fresh enough?).  I may see what I have, and smell and taste it.  The rest of the ingredients are very fresh.  So, yea, I'll add that to my list.  Though I must admit, I don't buy herbs from the grocery store anymore.  Most of it, regardless of how it is written, is from China.  No.  Thank.  You.

Hmm? Ah, right.

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I have been thinking about canning beef.  I have looked at various vids, but wasn't... satisfied?  Right.  Some people try to sell things, or ideas, that just don't work for me.  Fine, but, no thank you.  This vid was straight up, how to, and simple enough for me.

Not too bad?

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I had a rough morning, in bed.  I didn't get down until 06:00.  And, then, I started waking up for no good reasons that I could tell.

The first time I woke?  The clock read 06:66.  Hmm, that... didn't seem right.  I must have been dreaming.  I even "cleared my eyes" and looked again.  I was wondering if this was a lead into a really weird dream.  Or, if indeed, I was already in the dream, just waiting for things to happen?

But, no.  I rolled over, then rolled back, and decided to check the clock again.  Ah!  Time had passed, but in a weird way.  Now it was 09:66!  *grins*  Again, I checked my eyes, rubbing them, and looking again.  Yes, I was dreaming.  But just a little thing.  I did check again, shortly after, to find it was 09:46.  I just laughed and rolled back in.

A dream, of some sort of trap by cops and a security officer at a bank, to handle whites who get uppity.  I ended up getting their literal badges, indications that their professional licenses had been suspended and damaged, and receiving a really nice cache of loot out of it.  I doubt if it can even happen, in these rigged court times.  But... it was a dream.

Then, a bit ago, the door rang.  My milk, cream, and  eggs arrived, delivered by a fine young lady.  I warned her about my morning breath, that I was just waking.  She just laughed.  Some mornings it can be rough, some not.  Still, didn't want to horrify her.  Life is good.

I'm up, for now, for a bit?  I don't know.  Ah, but the shower is open.  So, as soon as I can get to it, a shower is planned.  Not sure if I am staying up, able to stay up.  Will see.  Still a bit achy, but not as bad as yesterday.  Or my mind is still blurry and I can't tell.

If things are good, I'd like to get to that last bit of wood, get it cut and stacked.  The shower too.  And, maybe, finally, some work in this front room?  Maybe.  I made pork chops and eggs last night.  It was a multi-pack, I did them all.  A bit dry, but food is food.  I may heat a few of those up, and have them with eggs.  Oh, and the gooder eggs are back in supply.  Their original hens had stopped laying, had to get a new batch.  They are finally laying, so... eggs it is.

Well... will see if I can stay up.  I am nearly done with one of the games.  I have one last trophy.  The other game, the one I like a bit more, has three or four trophies remaining.  Look, it's something to do.  Especially when I can't be as mobile as I'd like, or act a bit more physically.  Later.

A final few things.

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No shower.  As it ends up, I was hungrier than dirty?  Well, close enough.  I did finish washing the last of the dishes, even putting them away.

Looking through the fridge, I saw chops, pork chops.  And I had eggs.  Nothing fancy, but it worked well.  Baked, then fried a bit... the chops.  Then fried the eggs.  Very simple, but good enough.

Now it is on to bed.  Late, or early?  It is 06:16.  I am tired.  At least I got some things done, and can shower when I wake tomorrow.  Good morning, day, and night.

A very good shot at things.

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The oven was finished, well top and interior.  I put the racks back in, after adding aluminum foil.  The pots and pans were also finished, dried, and put up or set on the stove.  Oh, and I started one more pot, the one for pasta from yesterday, and a few pieces of flatware used to eat it, and else.  So, yes.

I'll probably finish that last bit of dishes, then get a shower in.

So, all that, watering the lawn, and probably a shower.  I doubt if I will get to cooking anything tonight.  I did get more than I thought was going to happen.  Sure, plans, but... plans aren't... always all that real.  Sometimes, rarely, they are.  Tonight, yes, they worked out mostly.  While I didn't cook anything, I did wash the final dishes.  Not a fair comparison, but something for something even so.

I am feeling cold.  Though, in part, that is from not dressing warmly, thinking I might be getting to a shower more quickly.  I had... dishes, and the oven, to manage, before I could shower.  Still, it will happen.  And, tomorrow, I will dress more warmly out of the gate.  If I can shower again, I will may do so.  But, will undress from my warm setup rather than start out a bit cold.  Watering the lawn was a cold job, too, though.  Still, not terribly cold, yet.  But getting there.  The shower will be nice.

Oh, and I am nearly finished with one of the dlc video game sections.  One more playthrough.  Finding your way around in this game is nearly impossible.  So it is very easy to miss things.  It's just the way of it.  I get a little hot, sometimes.  Part of that is the controls suck.  Some of it is getting lost.  Some of it is there being no save tree.  And, of course, at some points, you can't go back without playing through the whole thing again.  Bleh.  Still, I like this one enough to bother with the trophies.  And, the trophies are for actual game completion, often which will improve play.

Yeah.  A shower.  Then finishing the game.  Then on to bed.  Oh, I do have to turn and change the mattresses tonight, too.  Which means making the bed as well.  But... that's okay.  I am tired, sore, but... willing.  Able, probably.  Goodnight.

Things are going.

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I did get the watering done.  Four zones?  I skipped two possible zones, but figure out how to mostly overlap all by one zone.  All good.

As well, dishes.  The oven racks were the most difficult.  There was some baked on grime, that really had to be hit, soaked, hit again.  Several times.  But, it really did come clean, mostly.  Oh, still a spot of smoot, here and rarely there.  Must, mostly, it's looking quite fresh.

Which also means I can get back to cooking again.  I am out of charcoal, which I can't really fix this month.  And, with the racks being cleaned, and the oven before it, I really didn't have a way to easily, reliably, cook.  Neither do I know how to use the microwave, nor do I use it for anything with fats in or on it, save lightly melting butter, or coconut oil, and that with great care.

So... I haven't been cooking.  There is, of course, panfrying.  But what I have to cook doesn't cook well that way.  I should have the oven set to go tonight.  And, I will check on some of the thawed meat, see if it is still good.  I may have lost it, but I would otherwise have eaten it this week, so...  I hate that, either way, but, it happens.

I am rinsing the pans, pot, and racks for an hour.  I may try to get the last bits of black/grey off, when the hour is up.  But won't worry much about that other than giving it a light go.  I'll dry them and put them in the oven pretty much right away.  I dry the high carbon pans with paper towels, because they are greasy, hold it, no matter.  And will destroy my white kitchen towels, much as cast iron does.  But, the chrome stainless, including racks, will just be dried by cloth towel.  I prefer that.

Yes, I may make something to eat yet tonight.  I am hoping the whole chicken, thawed a few days ago, is still good.  I was hoping to split it, and grill it, but ran out of charcoal.  So...  Not sure what else I have, but... should get one to three meats cooked up, tonight, for the week.  I still need a few things from the store, butter, whole milk, salad makings (hopefully a package of it, if they still do that).  Maybe a few other things?  Ah, pork roasts, too.  But, trying to keep it low, so not looking for extras.

Though I will be trying to make homemade ranch dressing.  Since I have sort of given up on making mayo, I have finally found actual keto, low omega-6, mayo.  It's not my favorite, but I know what it is, and can do.  It requires mayo, cream, and sour cream, plus herbs and spices.  I'll have to look over the ingredient list again.  See if there is anything else.  Chives?  But, to be honest, chives... don't really add much flavor.  I suppose home grown, rightly grown, might.  But stores often don't really carry that.  Still, may see what they have.  But also look over that list.  I really would like to figure out how to make solid ranch dressing.  And, maybe, may my own blue cheese type dressing with the base, from there.

Hmm... on to some more gaming.  Then on to dishes, a shower, and maybe some cooking.  Have a good night.  Sleep well.  Or... play long and well.  *grins*  Later.

A bit of a start.

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Dishes.  There aren't that many, they are larger items, but two of the group are very intricate... the oven shelves.  But, yes, I went over them well.  And reset them for one more run.  This will be their third cleaning.  If I decide to clean them again, I will finish the pans and small pot otherwise, and just reset them.

I am gaming, with a timer on.  I have set the water to run, in the back yard, and will do a few zones, four perhaps, maybe five.  One zone is still off limits, as I didn't get to the wood today.  Though, perhaps, I may do that zone, itself, tomorrow, after finishing the wood.  Which I think I will do, hurt or not.

This may be nearing the end of the watering season, or maybe not.  But, once a week, give or take, maybe closer to the watering schedule.  I was good about not watering the lawn this summer, or over watering it.  But at a cost.  I would like to get the grass back in some kind of shape for the fall and into winter.  Which means watering.  Being cool, with less sun, less water is needed.

Oh, what else I had with the pasta?  Finely diced yellow onion, with a rather nice bite to it.  And, in one platter, I added garlic powder.  I am very satisfied with each variant.  Not great for diabetes, but excellent for tasting the cheese.  I won't say I am in love with it, but I wouldn't turn it down on a rough Saturday or tough Monday.  I would like to try it with other things, learn it's secrets.  Truth is, you learn to like stuff.  Hating it is a natural thing?  It takes work to love that which is so easy to blindly, initially, hate.  I have been spending the last twenty to thirty years learning to love the oddest of foods.  Starting, I think, consciously anyway, with cabbage.  Then going from there.  Quality product, cooked correctly and sometimes very specifically, with the right additions (butter!, for example... yes, the exclamation might not be in the dictionary, but the dictionary is WRONG!).  I have learned to, if not love, enjoy, many things since.  From couscous, to salmon, to cod liver oil... even cod liver, I have learned... many, many, foods.  Anyway...

I will game, and wash dishes, then shower, while watering.  I may end up in bed before long, again.  The pain has eased, a bit, but the exhaustion from it remains.  More numbed than eased?  Yes.  I may still take painpills, because the hurt is still there, just under the surface.  Like, when you have a fever, and that covers other pains?  Yes, like that.

Still, I will try to push a few other things.  Whatever I can do.  And, tonight, I will roll and flip the mattresses.  If, still, I am hoping to get the mattresses out to air soon again.  I won't skip doing the little thing, while waiting for the bigger things.  That ends up in failure.

I am truly enjoying the 60s, around the house.  I am not feeling cold, even cool.  Though, this front room is staying up into the mid 70s, or by the end of the day and through the afternoon.  Even to late.  For now.  Though, really, I need to get the computer and else into the other room.  So I can be a bit warmer in there.  As this room will plunge into the 50s, even 40s.  Too cool to be messing with.  Then I will double the sheet curtains between the rooms, and stay warmer in there.  It really seems that 68 to even 64 is okay, the way I dress.  Though, in deep winter, we will see.

Time to flip the sprinklers to a new zone, then do some laundry, finally back to some gaming.  Later.

Ouch!

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Every main muscle group, from the waste up, still hurts.  Just getting out of bed hurts.  All week.  Had hoped I would be over it by now.  Nope!  I tried not to complain, but I've had enough.  I'll take painpills today.  Even getting out of bed hurt.  I was hoping a little more sleep would cause improvement.  Nope, to that either.  I finally just gave up and got up.  Yes, I could sleep more.  I have learned, that with pain, sometimes more sleep will help.  I just don't think so today.  I gave it until late afternoon.  Then again, I wasn't to be until about 06:00.  Almost.  Maybe, by the time I actually tucked in, it was a bit after.  Something like that.

Even so, I'll hit dishes shortly.  Then a shower.  And, if those things work out, and possibly after a break, I may go out and work on the woodpile.  I don't WANT to work on the wood, cutting and piling it.  But I also don't want to leave that out this winter.  And, I want to mow and water the area on which the wood is setting.  With a riding lawnmower, that is possible.

Well, and maybe pull the fencing today.  I'll get the trimmer out, and do a bit of cutting near the base, so as to get them loosened.  Just a small area stuck, but it is well and truly stuck.  I kept thinking, perhaps, the problem was I was tired from the other work I had done, just needed to hit it fresh.  Tried that several days, to no luck.  So, yes, trimmer.  It isn't that difficult.  I may hit it first, even before cutting, just to get my muscles warmed more lightly.

Today or tomorrow, but I am hoping today.

Yes, if feels like I have torn my muscles well.  Which, is a good thing... IF... they heal quickly enough.  The tears are not healing.  Imagine working out hard and well only to have your muscles remain in the torn state for a week or two before slowly mending?  Right, that is exactly what it is.  Having a bad heart, even on medicine, sucks.  Sometimes it will heal muscles, and quickly, sometimes it won't.  If it doesn't, it leaves a guy very vulnerable.  I know how damned dangerous the world is.  I don't like to be open, or more so, to an attack.  It's like Superman, only his body, from time to time, produces kryptonite that takes him down.  He can't know when, or for how long, or how severe the outage will be.  Yea, it's like that.

Oh, the neighbor wasn't so fond of the cheese.  And, it was a bit tight.  The reason I liked it so much last time, was because I was comparing it to even 'tighter' cheese.  I liked it, but it was harder.  Still, I had some more, but with dices of salami.  And?  And that made a world of difference.  Sometimes, when you are eating some things, a bit of comparing and contrasting brings out the best of both.  That was the case with these.

And, I was a bad boy again, last night.  But, it wasn't just a temptation.  I wanted a medium to try the gruyere.  Pasta!  With butter, gruyere, and parmesan reggiano, salt, and white pepper.  Oh, my.  I don't care as much for p.r., itself.  Or even buttered pasta, if that isn't too bad.  But, with the gruyere shaved, and white pepper fresh cracked?  Oh, yes, oh yes.  I... can't wait, now, to try it with eggs of some sort.  

It is different.  It is soft.  But it has a wonderful offering.  I may finish the spaghetti noodles today, but with just butter, gruyere, and white pepper.  Oh, a side note?  I really doubted white pepper would be any different than most other peppers.  And, most other peppers are just, mostly, from what I have found, just different colors.  Not so the white pepper corns.  There is something delightfully special about it.  I will keep that on hand for very specific dishes.  Plus, it bends into white sauces and soups without black specks.  Just offering a bit of advice.  And, it lasts well, doesn't take much, and isn't too expensive.  I like sharing new foods, spices, or else.  I love it when others try new things.  Though tastes, of the literary, artistic, and culinary, varies greatly.  And quality and freshness makes a huge difference.  So if you buy it from the dollar store, don't even assume you are getting actual white pepper.  It may just be a phase of black pepper, because it is cheaper.  Or even the Chinese just painting or dying black pepper.  Just... a warning.  Though I don't trust store stuff, I go online and look for more legit sellers.  Sometimes I trust amazon, if they are honest about where it is from (no Chinese food to the ability I can believe, which is limited at amazon).  I've done what I may.  But, there.

Anyway... on to... waking.  Good... afternoon already is it?  Ugh.  

A pop I liked.

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Pop?  Population.  A video.  A recipe video.

Now, for my part?  British chefs are... not exactly top on my list of chefs.  Though, to be honest, most chefs are a little shady.  Still, I... was already watching, so I thought I'd give him a shot.  And I was glad I did.

Now, I have some differences.  As much as I love hot food, tartare is not among those foods.  But, it... is somewhat original?  Some points added, for originality.  Some points docked... for originality.  It's how I do.  Which way would get the most would depend on what it ended tasting like.  But, as a general rule, I'd suggest he lost points.

However, the various other differences, additions, and changes?  Very very nice.  I like it when they play with food.  Usually, generally.  I do have a terrible hunger for it, and may have to figure out how to get some together.  Perhaps even trying a few of this chef's work.  Still, really, I think I want to go with simple, traditional, until I get that down.

Yes, I have had it, at various restaurants of some quality.  And I do enjoy it, a lot.  Just the simple recipe.  If that really isn't simple, if it is hand diced.  And, yes, I can tell.  Machine is... okay, but the cuts aren't as crisp, the meat is both cut and crushed, it's... just not as good.  A textural thing, though I think that alters flavor to some weird degree and way.  Hmm... may have to get some meat and do some work.  It isn't a terribly huge process.  Think of cubing carrots to quarter inch squares, say an half pound of that, and you pretty much have the work involved.  Finding the right meat, fresh, is more of the trick.  Well, and having the other ingredients on hand.  

Thankfully, usually, refrigerated capers last a very good long time.  They are shelf-stable, so in the fridge, they really do well.  Actually, I need a few more bottles of those.  Same with gherkins.  If I need a few more bottles of that, as well.  Not this month, it seems.  But... okay.  I'll add to next month, and see about fresh knuckle meat at the first (from the recipe I like, mostly).

Oh, the vid.  Vids, actually.  The new young hot-shot, and the basic one I have been looking at for some time.  Yeah.  Here.

All together.

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I wasn't interested in trying to read the manual.  Those are so poorly written, with terribly diagrams, that they are a method of last resort.  While y.t. has many flaws, it seems, sometimes, to do better about some things.  While completely bogus, political propaganda, no matter which side the producer of those are, they seem to do okay with how-to's.  Those foolish enough to not know how to do what they are saying they are showing, or stupidly add grobal warbling content to things, get quickly kicked to the side of the road.  Even if I agree with a sentiment, it has nothing to do with vacuum cleaners.  Don't mix and match.

Anyway, so, yes, a vid.  I had it mostly together.  There was one piece that didn't seem to have a place.  The problem was that the pieces around it fit together well, with or without it.  So, okay.  But, now, it is together.  I haven't used it.  But will, within days.  The thing about ordering from amazon?  Always use it, and several times, before the return time is up.

It seems to be a near guarantee, that if I wait to see if it works, there is a good chance it won't work.  And, getting a return or replacement, after the thirty days, is nearly impossible.  Companies don't stand by their warrantees or products, at all.  They sell and run.  So, always check.  It doesn't say much for longevity, but at least you will get a few uses out of it.

I did order another small mattress.  While I have two spare bigger ones, I have no smaller ones.  So, I will buy one this month, and one next month.  Kept well covered, in airtight bagging, those will last... the rest of my life.  More so if aired out quarterly.  Or... near enough.  That and some of the cat food.  I'll have to tally up the food I have for Sassy.  I count two cans as a day, though, as mentioned, am cutting her feed a bit.  And, I have dry food left from Sam, who went through... two bags a month?  Sassy, as with litter, hasn't gone through two bags of each.  Whereas, with Sam, I would have gone through... tens to twelve bags of each, and still be pushing it.  Just keeping her in food and litter was a massive job, three to four cleanings a day, just to mostly keep it clear.  If I missed for three days, I may have to redo at least one litter box.  And she was eating wet, dry, and my food when she could get ahold of it.  And getting into the trash.  She only weighed four and an half pounds, when I let her go.  In spite of eating... three pounds a day?  If she could.  Wow.

Well... still a bit rough, sore, today.  But seeming to be getting better?  I don't think I'll be up much longer today.  It's warm enough, comfy.  Even a bit hot in this front room.  I'll do more gaming, perhaps.  And, maybe, figure out something else to eat.  A keto spaghetti?  Maybe.  And, just maybe, do the dishes, get a shower, and then finish the dishes.

So tired though.

Tomorrow, I am hoping to hit the last of the wood cutting, or the stuff outdoors.  I'll get to the stuff in the outbuilding... when I get to it.  I'm just not worried about that, since it will remain dry, and not be a problem working at any time or be in the water of watering out there.  Oh... but I would like to get the fencing finished removing, rolled, and put up.  Ugh.  As well, have dishes and laundry done, hopefully tomorrow but certainly Sunday at the latest.  And, maybe, some work in this front room, today, tomorrow, the weekend, but done too, by Sunday?  Bleh.

On to something.  Gaming, probably.  And a fatted coffee.  Later.

Well...

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I woke at about 10:30.  Seemed late, but.  Still, I couldn't quite get up.  I rolled a few times, then, did, finally, get up.  Seemed just a short time, so imagine my surprise when it was 14:20?  Wow.  Time flies when you are toasted.  Oh, but it was wonderful, and needed, sleep.

Not sore, but tired.  Not cold, not even cool.  It was 64/66 upstairs.  It is 72 in this front room.  I don't know about the rest.

I used the last eighth of a hank of a loaf of whole bread, and six slices of the salami, plus avocado mayo to make two sandwiches.  Quite good.  Sandwiches are rare delicacies.  And that genoa salami did well with it.  I'm not so fond of the mayo, but, it has no sugar, no soy, no... none of the stuff I really aim to avoid.

Does eating righter make a real difference?  I believe so.  Do I know how to eat correctly?  To... a degree.  But, then, if I ate perfectly rightly, I would never eat bread.  Still, if you are going to eat bread, make it real bread.  Simple.  If it has ingredients you are pretty sure are made in a factory, chemicals, of no known actual nutritional qualities?  Don't eat it.  If you are going to eat food that isn't the best for you, at least eat types that are actually made from food, not chemical waste.

Or even brush your teeth?  Fluoride only fights cavities in studies paid for the by industry which produces the chemical waste, and doesn't want to pay to have it properly treated.  YOU are the chemical waste management system.  In your water even.  Some day these people, and everyone they blackmailed or paid off to get that done are going straight to hell.

Anyway.  I do have an idea of how to eat correctly.  I just don't always have the will do so, or ability.  This salami, I thought it was a smaller roll.  Say silver dollar sized.  It isn't.  It is small plate sized, coffee saucer or so.  Even having given over half of it away, it is way too much to eat as a side, on a cheese platter.  Sandwiches are the only way.  Even then, I'm not sure I can eat that much, fast enough.  Could freeze some, may.  But... that leaves sandwiches.  And I don't want to waste this meat!  It isn't just the cost, it is the idea.  So... bread it is.  But, better bread.  See?

Oh, well, actually a bit achy.  I have pushed.  And I continue to do things.  While my body seems to have stopped repairing itself as it had been for that week.  It let me get well into torn muscle, pulled muscles, stretched tendons, and else, then it just stopped fixing itself.  It ran out of whatever it takes to do that.  Now I hurt.

I'll still try to do some things. daily.  But until I repair a bit more, that will be limited.

I did order the vacuum cleaner.  The one that parts, for easier vacuuming on the stairs, and is lighter in general.  I'll open it and get it together, if needed to be assembled, yet today.  I may even try to hit the stairs.  My last attempt at that was using the forty or fifty pound bull vacuum.  That was just a bit much.  A few other things arrived.  Not sure what, but will find out in a bit.  Need to get a knife, open things up.

Should have Sassy set up for food, for, say, six to eight months?  Would like to add more to that.  Get her to about a year.  At current feeding protocols, if I am also trying to cut her feed just a bit.  Down a can, or half a can, per day.  She has lost some weight.  With Sam eating all the time, there was always food.  Well, and Sam would regurgitate the dry food, process it for Sassy.  You know cat moms.  Bleh.  Still hefty, probably no real way to get much weight off, and some of it is from being fixed before having kittens.  That part is difficult though.  Dealing with a herd of kittens is... difficult.

Medicine in, food in, now to wake.  And, maybe, get to a few things besides the vacuum.  Hmm, won't actually vacuum today.  Still too sore.  But I will assemble it, if it came in parts.  Later.

Gifts given.

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There was way too much salami for one.  I would say probably too much for a small family.  So, portions were given for a larger family, a smaller family, and a single guy.  A bit of bread, too.  To make sure the bachelor might get some of it.  A dagwood, all genoa salami and bread, he suggests.  So be it.

I had several sandwiches today.  Since it was cut, and I had the bread.  Not thick, though, maybe tomorrow, I will make bigger sandwiches.

No more work done.  But, I did game for a reasonable amount of time, and am up at 18:27.  I'm about to go on to bed.  Sassy has been fed, so... all good.  Insulin, and regular meds.  And, shortly, on to bed.  Would like to have watered part of the lawn, but just can't keep awake.  I did a few things.  And a few other things.  And am awake to later, if I had to push on all fronts.  What was done is what could be done.

As mentioned, I am hopeful.  I want to work.  I like to work.  But if I can't stand, or even stay awake, that just isn't possible.  Goodnight.

Ah! Some of it.

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I did get the hoses drained and put up.  Though I found a reason to separate them.  One of them has fittings of aluminum, the other is of brass.  They don't go well together, for long.  They damage each other, and stick together.  So, yes, I took them apart, rolled them up, and got them away.

There was something else I wanted to do out there, but I couldn't remember what it was.  So?  So...  I decided to restack the medium lengths and thicknesses of wood yet to cut.  As it turns out, there were some that just need one cut, while two thirds need many cuts.  So I stacked them by that, into two rough piles.

I thought about cutting them, but not today.  I really do need some time off.  I have used and abused my arms.  I am thinking tomorrow would be a good day to do that.  But, I am all ready.  I had thought to water the lawn tonight, and might still.  Just not all of it.  The wood piles are in the way.  Which... would be a good reason to get them done tomorrow.  Though, perhaps, I could water part of the lawn tonight?  Maybe.

Next I have work in here, and dishes.  Perhaps a shower at some point.  I redid one of the litter boxes, and have been keeping up on that and feeding Sassy.  I think she has a boy, or two, who visits.  Between batting at the windows, strange meowling, and staying near the back door during the day, I am all but certain she has a boyfriend out there.  Platonic, but not unrequited?  She wouldn't, but would.  He would, most definitely.  She would prefer to say no, but would surrender... face to face.  You know how dames are.  Ha!  hahaha

Hmm... though there might be something to make for dinner.  Something easy, I am thinking.  Maybe eggs?  Or... something.  Or... not.  I just can't be sure.  A bit more gaming, then on to other things.  I am having trouble with the game I am playing.  It is an expansion, and not the best of them.  The game, and idea, and fundamentals, are good.  But figuring out what to do, and being able to do it?  It doesn't make sense, too much of it can be missed.  Even with helpful vids... it's a mess.  In some ways.  Still, I would like to finish it up.

Hmm... yea.  Surprised I made it to 16:11 already.  And did some work.  And might do some more.  Even gaming has been somewhat grueling.  Which makes a frustrating game much more frustrating.  Still... all good.  I'll keep at it.  Though, if I really need to go on to bed, at any time in the near future, I just will.  I have done well, given all the givens.  If too, I am hoping to do just a bit more work.  Dishes, or this room, or even just food.  But just to making it to this point, and doing some work, means the world to me already.  Later, or goodnight.

I made it a bit.

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Today it looks like just staying conscious is my ticket.  Not much else possible.  Why?  Can't be sure.  I did get medicine in.  Could that be the trick?  Some of it.  I am feeling a bit cold.  Not sure why, it's warmer, in here, than it has been lately.  I have the furnace on, and to 68.

Sure, this front room is even warmer and has been, I have often been in the other room, where it was only 63/66, yesterday, most of the day.  Oh well, I'll keep trying to push through.  Even if today that just means staying awake later afternoon or on into the evening.

Earlier, this morning, I was worried about this week.  About anything being done.  But, after making it to now, I have some hope.  Not really by making it to still being awake, more that my thinking has changed.  I won't get done what I did last week.  But I will get more done.  I am certain of it.

Just to get out, I will wrap the auxiliary garden hoses up, the two used just for general purpose water dispersal.  Though, should I separate them, then roll them up?  Nah, no real reason.  They are lighter, as a pair, than either of the ones used for the sprinklers.  Those I will do separately.  Roll them up, draining them as I do so, then put them in the garage.  I don't think I will need those again this fall.  But, I will keep the other ones out, and I plan to water the lawn a few times a week through this month, or until freezing sets in.

As well, today, if possible, I will do some work in this front room.  Cat food arrived, and needs to go downstairs.  Now that I have my food, mostly, set up for a few months, I'd like to get Sassy stuff stored.  Food, enough I think, for a while, this month.  Maybe a bit more next month.  And, then, cat litter.  As soon as a good price comes along for bulk.  I do have some, and with her... minor maintenance really keeps it lasting quite long.  Still, it... gets used quick enough.  Though what lasted Sam and her four months, may well last her alone a year.  I didn't mind the cost, of Sam.  She was worth it.  It was only the severity, and certain, that allowed me to let her go.  And, I was with her.  She was so... at peace.  She didn't die frightened, angry, or confused.  I was grateful to be a part of that, for her.  Oh, she has to be buried, I am thinking this week.  I know... I just... didn't want to let her go.  Just like when I took her in.  But, it's time.

On to the hoses.  Then some more gaming.  Then, hopefully, this front room.  Oh, and dishes plus the oven racks.  Yea.  Feeling better.  Feeling able.  Willing to push past any hesitations, aches, or else.  Yea.  Later.

Two hours.

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Give or take.  Awake.  So tired though.  It seems dark.  I looked outdoors, it isn't dark.  It was just at 68, outside.  So, not cold either.  So very strange.

I am hungry, but... not.  I've only had water, and medicine, this morning.  In some ways, I would like to eat.  In other ways, not so much.  Cooking, itself, just seems a bit much.  Though, too, digesting food sounds like more work than it is worth, in some part of my mind.  And, yet, my belly asks for something.  I'll have a fatted coffee and some meat sticks, shortly?  Something like that.

I may game a bit, in an effort to stay awake a while longer.  Hopefully the coffee and sticks will help as well.  Either allow me to game, or... figure out something else to do.  

Life can sure be tough.  And, yet, I have finally come to a point where I see past that.  I even have come to believe in life enough to embrace the suffering.  As mentioned, I remember being beyond the pains of this life.  Hunger, thirst, being tired (in any of the various ways) just didn't exist.  No stubbed toes, pulled muscles, aching heart, or other things would occur again, where I was.  And, for some years after that, I really wanted to go back.

Now?  Sure, when I go, that will be fine.  But I do believe simple suffering is a grace.  It offers opportunity to grow.  When you stub your toe, you can either choose anger, to a degree, or choose to figure out what caused the pain and how to avoid it.  Changing, possibly, your life and how you live and choose to live, right here in the flesh.  Other pains, aches, and such, provide other opportunities.

Even the suffering I can do nothing about?  That allows me to choose how to deal with suffering, pain, aches.  I can't bring back the dead, I can't undo the pains from too little blood flood, or too high of a pulse, or too little oxygen in the blood, so the pains those create.  But I can choose not to let that become my primary object in life.

I do wish, as today, that I could escape the exhaustion, and just get to work.  Or get past pain, to do work.  That just isn't up to me.  Nothing I do can change that.  I suppose there are more potent painkillers, but they come with their own problems.  I'd... prefer my problems as they are.  These I understand.  No more control, but less loss of control?  Instead of just being subject to pain, I would be subject to pain and addiction?  Right.  So it goes.  I have chosen.  And, relinquished any claim to ease, or else such.  But, finally, I do it gladly.

I realize the prize for suffering is life.  Which is why Christ will know it like no other can.  In this way, I attempt to follow in His footsteps.  Not... as a sacrificial, I'm not even worthy, assuming I could.  More as one who has been shown the way, and follows as able.

So tired.  Later, or goodnight.

Gruyere?

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.

As a raw cheese?  Not so much.  I tried a few cubes last night, while awake in the middle of the night.  I didn't get much for flavor.  I thought it a bit chalky.  To a degree, it reminded me of parmesan reggiano.  Actually, it has less flavor than that.  At least the one I tasted.

Now, that isn't a terrible thing.  It just means, to me, it isn't a... tasting cheese.  It, to me, is a cooking cheese.  I would not eat parmesan, or asiago, or several others, on their own.  They... taste like a form of cheese-chalk.  But, they do shave well, and blend into foods.  If, to some degree, even that is an acquired taste.

Now, that was just one of the cheeses.  Though, I suspect, from examining the others, that they are all going to be similar.  Very much an acquired taste.  And, an exceptionally mild flavor.  Heated up, it might provide more flavor?  Am I flavor tone deaf to this cheese?  Not sure.  Will... experiment.

One of the things I was able to obtain was eggs.  While they are more expensive, I had feared they would be beyond my reach, even beyond my willingness to pay.  While they are enough to ponder, once a month, buying some is still okay... just.  So, I will try some with eggs.  Which of those recipes, or another, I don't know.

Of course, that only after I learn to stand again.  I am really rough today.  Something is really off.  I did get started on medicine, so... maybe that will help.

Just got a delivery.  As I was thinking about getting the package, I heard a vehicle pull up.  One of them seemed to have a camera.  But... something else.  I get the feeling they were after a package, or trying to see me.  Something very strange.  They took off immediately, after I opened the door.  Yes, I heard them pull up, wondered, actually, if the UPS guy had returned for something.  Nope.  And they didn't look like locals.  Not from town.  Something was really off about them, just a feeling, and the avoidance of looking, and like a camera?  Strange.

Anyway...  Just at 10:42.  Still in rough shape.  Ill, like I'd like to go to the bathroom, after a night of drinking?  But not really needing to go.  Innards feel a bit squeezed.  Headache has backed off, but not really gone.  Just... back in the background.  The rest?  Life just got fuzzy.  I am not sure what hurts, or what even feels... anything.

I am thinking going back on to bed, for a bit, might be best.  Oh, but I will get insulin in.  Forgot that too.  Forgot that two nights running?  Maybe.  Beginning to lose track of things.  And, when I work hard, I easily forget as well.  Later.

Rough.

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.

Did I push too hard, recently?  Is fall hitting like a ton of bricks?  Something is really bad.  Hmm, maybe I have missed medicine?  A day of medicine has been missed?  But that isn't the problem, it is a symptom.  I think it was a mix of things.  

I pushed a bit too hard Monday.  I was trying to do what I did last week.  And I tried to do it all on one day.  The price was steep.  Then I missed medicine, which seems to be a problem, more the problem today.  Though having less sun is making my days and nights want to twist.

Up, at 09:30.  Down relatively very early last night, but I woke around 00:30, and was up to 3:30.  I would guess after being in bed for a few hours.  Strange.  But I woke, and couldn't get back to sleep, until I finally could again.  And, while I am awake, and wanted to be awake earlier just couldn't rise, it is a rough morning.

The headache, mostly.  Neck and shoulder stiffness.  It is just a rough morning.  It's one of those mornings which make death seem a good thing.  Then again, that has been most of my adult life.  When that goes away for a while, I... seem to try to forget it.  Enjoy the better times.  And, really, mostly, since spring, life has been fairly pleasant.  Perhaps exhausted at times.  But not pained.

Ah, painpills.  I'll have two of those, see if that helps.  And, get back on medicine.  Missing one day usually isn't a disaster.  Missing three days can be the start of one.  A week or more and it may be like starting over.  One day, I'll... get back to it.  Painpills may help.  But today is probably shot?

Oh, it's more than a headache.  Have you ever bumped your shoulder, into a doorway?  Numbed that and the surrounding body?  Now imagine you did that to both shoulders, and to a degree hips.  A bit oddly numb, pretty much everywhere.  Did I not roll enough?  Too much, incorrectly?  

If I can't get to anything soon, I'll go on back to bed.  It is a rough day.  Later.

Not tonight.

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Before I went to bed, I wanted to see which recipe to use the gruyere in.  I'm thinking one of these two.  Though, with the quiche, I may use a dish without the crust.  I may have a slice of gruyere, as I go on to bed, as well.  Not the fancier one, but they are all relatively decent.  I just don't know what it tastes like.  It is one cheese I haven't particularly knowingly eaten.  Of many, of course.

22:00

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Bedtime.  I have tried to do things.  I can't even play games.  Too tired, sleepy tired.

I have the heat down to 68.  Which is warm.  It is 75 up front, in the front computer room.  Not hot, but... warmer.

 I didn't have the fan on, last night.  I think I will turn it on tonight.  Only one window open.  But it was 68 up there, if the furnace was on 72.  Though, there isn't a way to get warmth up there.  With the door shut, and the small vent between the floors blocked, which doesn't offer much heat even when open.  Though, perhaps, the walls.  The second floor is from the original all rock, house, so heating that does probably take some heat on up.

So very tired.  I wanted to sleep for hours.  Wasn't sure if a visitor would be by.  Not tonight.  So, I've closed up and am going on to bed.  Goodnight.

So very tired.

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The neighbor visited.  While here, he added three containers of the aqua tar stuff.  And?  And it might well take four or six more?  We are both surprised.  I can't afford that, right now.  And, it did fill the hole to a degree.  It is amazing how big of a hole that really is.  It has taken three and a half bags of concrete, plus three similarly sized containers of tar.  I can only imagine, perhaps, that it had been stump, from a tree.  And, perhaps, they had filled it, deeply.  But, those things nearly create sinkholes.  Still, it is half full, leveled up well, and mostly done.  For the year, though, it is done.

I did get them some cheese.  But meant to get them salami.  I hadn't intended on salami, but the genoa I ordered ended up being a lot more than I anticipated.  So, I'd like to share that, rather than waste it.  Plus, it may go well with at least one of the cheeses.  

I am still rather sore, tired, achy.  I may need to take a day or two off.  If I can do some small things, I will.  But, most likely, not today.  

I dreamed, of hounds, last night.  Dogs, some of the dreams, and hellhounds in others.  The dogs were attacking various things, from sheep to bad men.  The hellhounds went straight after evil men.  I have dreamed that I was a hellhound, now reformed.  Not that I don't still hunt evil, just... for a different reason.  And, of course, with a very different Lord.

I wasn't involved, this night.  These were hellhounds of evil, not good.  And, I don't think God unleashes His hounds, in that way, in these, or any, days.

A lot tired, sore.

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Okay, boys and girls?  I have overdone things.  I feel like, say, if I were an arcade ball, of flesh, that has been hitting the rails, bumpers, and such, for a few days.  I haven't hardened, probably can't harden enough for that usage.  So, today, I will take it a bit easier.

I didn't get to bed until 03:30?  Or so.  I am up at noon thirty.  Given all, not bad.  Oh, it's just muscles which hurt.  Which is what I want to hurt.  But, you don't want to hurt your muscles every single day.  Not if building is the idea.  If stamina is the plan, then... maybe.  For me, it is more about what I can do.  I would like a mix, so would hit muscles daily, if I can.  Just hitting them more every other, or third day.  Coasting a bit on off days, but not just stopping.  If at all possible.

Today?  I think woodwork is out.  Seems like enough, but between stooping after, to pick it all up, to move the branches around, to handling the cutter, it's a bit much.  Tomorrow.  So, what today?  Dishes.  The stove exterior.  Maybe a load of laundry.  And work in this front room.  I can load out a few boxes, break down others.  And, really, when I say tomorrow, I mean, probably, more like Wednesday or Thursday.  I have pushed things well.

As to the asphalt mixture?  If I think that will go down today, I'll put it down today.  It's just one container.  Will see how well it fills.  I am all but certain it will take one or two more buckets of the goo.  Will find out, when I can get it down.

Why up, so early, and with pain?  Ah.  Heat.  I turned the furnace to 72, overnight.  I still have one window open upstairs, but had the door shut.  Even so, it was 66 near me, 63 out in the main.  And, downstairs was between 71 and 74?  Okay.  The sun hits one wall, which makes that warmer.

On the good side, the heat woke me at some point (remember, upstairs has been 63 most days, for the last week, or cooler).  So, a 66 is almost a heat wave, after getting used to cooler sleeping weather.  My bad, to one degree.  I think, at night, I'll lower the thermo to 66.  Maybe 68.  That's just too warm.  Actually, often, during the day, I may keep it at 66 or 68.  I seem rather comfortable with that.  Though I would really like to open up the living room, and get this computer in there.  With one couch gone, life is better for that.  This front room both gets rather hot, and rather cold, based on the season.  I don't mind the cold, save the hands.  It's too much.  While 68 would be quite fine, even 66 probably.

So, laundry, dishes, work in this front room, and tar filling?  Something like that.  As for food, I'd like to split, fry, then grill, the chicken.  Make some meat crumble, two parts beef, one part chicken.  And, maybe, something else?  Food for the week, so all I have to do is toss a few other things.

While I won't do this every month, I did order cheese and salami again, this month.  In part, because I could find the bet of greyer cheese, at a reasonable price.  And, have been meaning to find that since Jean suggested it.  The last time I looked, even the "cheap stuff" was $15 a six ounce pack!  The gooder stuff was $30.  The dop stuff, which is generally top of the line, was $14 and I found some less expensive similar, to compare.  Oh, and a few other cheeses, including more of the mixed milk cheese, plus a bit as a gift to my host family.  They do me gold, this is a... very little gift.  And they use it well.

I have the heat down to 68, the front door open, and the fan going.  For a bit.  It was 66 or so out there, though will probably warm through the day.  For now, this will do.  I am amazed at how well I am handling the cool.  Even if I strip down to just my skivvies, I am not cold even down to 61.  I do need blankets, but duh!  :p  But I don't shiver in them.  Very strange, but good.  Well... on to waking.  Have a great afternoon, day.

A bit sore, tired.

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Things I like, when I can get them.  Given all, not bad.  Especially with it getting darker and cooler.  I am amazed I am able to get back to things.  To wake.  And, in spite of, perhaps, going a little slower as it cools, I was quite warm this morning, at 63 upstairs and in most of downstairs.

Yes, moving a little slower, sleeping a little longer.  But not cold, or even cool.  Even without longjohns.  I have become quite comfortable, just as mentioned a bit slower to get up and get going.

Even today, it was a pretty good day.  And I did get a good bit done.  Not the best workday in the last week or so, but before that, probably the best workday since spring.  The heat sort of pounded me, certainly more than the cool is doing.

Tomorrow?  The last of the dishes.  I will check laundry.  Maybe the bedding out for airing, or sometime this week.  Perhaps work on the smaller branches and twigs, cutting and piling those... some in, some out.  As well, if it turns out I don't need water, I'll put up the general use runs of garden hose.  And, in finding out, I'll probably put the bucket of stuff in, see how well it fills.  It would be nice to set up the driveway, for winter, before it gets too cool.

Well, and of course, dishes.  Maybe for a shower later in the day, as I get settled in for the night, after I have done what I will do, and am preparing to sleep.

Well, and there are boxes, full and empty, in here.  I really would like to clear this room this week.  So, I may hit in here before other things.  In here, and the driveway, would be my top priorities.  Then the wood that is still outside.  That would be good to cut down.  I will compare the sawzall to the chainsaw.  I am sure the chainsaw weighs more, a bit.  But it would cut so much faster.  Will see, though, which seems easier to use.  I'm going for ease, though speed is a second factor.  I would give up some speed, but not much.  I want it done.

Yeah.  More gaming, then on to bed before long.  Clean, and ready.  I'll try to be to bed before midnight.  Or at least before 01:00?  We'll see.  Later.  Maybe goodnight.

Groceries and gas.

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Nothing fancy.  But, I had some hope to get to the store.  I stocked up, to a smaller degree.  But am hoping to get to the store around the middle of the month, to stock up more.  If not sooner.  I forgot to get pork roast, so... yea.  I may be in sooner.

I almost never seen ground chicken.  But they had that, so I got it.  Chops, and burger on a very good price, if limited quantity.  Plus a bunch of this and that.  Oh, they didn't have salad, either.  So... yea... I need to get back in.  Spent a pretty penny, but stocked enough for, maybe, a month of meat?  If I went really tight.  Forgot milk, too!  I need regular storebought milk to get kefir started more easily.  Then, after it is stronger, the grains, then I can use whole, unpasteurized, raw milk.

Still, it was about getting out, getting food, and getting started.  I needed to do that.  For a bonus, I got salsa, corn chips, and guacamole.  Oh, and a few beers.  I've... been a good boy.  I'll keep it to just a bit, but enjoy once in a great while.  Just my regular Bud.  No longer American, as if that even matters.  If oligarchs are going to hate us, might as well be foreign ones.

Ah, and one pack of the driveway tar replacement is here, as is the chain oil.  He must have dropped it on his way home tonight.  I'm trying to find out how much I owe.  Can pay him, and for dairy, with what I have on me.  All good.  I do my best.  Well... on to... something.  Some gaming, I think.

I have done well.  A late start.  But, wood stacked, chopped, stacked to finish.  The oven washed out a final time.  A shower, pans in soaking... as well as oven racks.  Groceries, and gas in the machine.  Not a bad thing at all.  Oh, and played some gaming.  Always good.

Ah, and two beers.  Life is good.  Later.

Well, I... did get to it.

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.

Not as much as I envisioned, say later last week, or over the weekend.  I had hoped to really... do a lot.  Still, I did get some things finished.

After the woodwork, I took that break.  Needed it.  Then, got the sawhorses in and stowed.  After that, I started tinkering with the dishes, actually mostly pans, and the oven racks.  No, I didn't get them washed, but I did get them reset, alone with what else needed washing.  Not much, but it is soaking.  I hope to get those done yet tonight, but they weren't even on the list.  They, really, were more in the way... of a shower... and of finishing the oven.

Back to the oven.  Scrubbed out one final time.  Dried out.  I thought I had to get paper towels, to finish pulling dirty water.  But, no.  Still, I got it down.  I was on my last roll, down here, so it was good to grab two more.  Then, dried out, scrubbing anything that showed through after the drying.  She looks pretty good.  Brand new?  Closer than I thought possible.  

Yea, actually.  But I don't use the oven daily.  More like weekly, or three times a week.  And, most of my food is well covered, or lightly open.  So, cleaning it quarterly would be enough.  And, it just wasn't all that bad.  I will continue to use tin foil on the racks, at least the bottom one, and changing that out fairly often.  But, yes, clean.  Nice.  There are things on the inside of the glass, I may see about how to get to those.  Just a few dribbles.

Oh, but I haven't cleaned the exterior or top.  That's... on the list.

Then I got the shower, and put the dishes back to a fresh soak.

Nothing fantastic.  But not bad.  I had hoped for a lot more done.  And, yet, had some worries that anything was going to be done today.  And... the day isn't over.  I might be able to finish the dishes, and the stove, yet tonight.  Perhaps some work in this front room?  Don't know, doubt that.  But... we will see.  Later.

A change of plans.

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Work, first.  Then a shower.

I got the cut wood piled, first into the wheelbarrow then onto the stacks.  Then I cut the last of the wood needing the chainsaw.  Probably.  I mean, I could use the sawzall of the rest of it, comfortably.  But, to be honest, I'm not sure the chainsaw weighs all that much more.  For some of it, I may yet use the chainsaw.  But... maybe not.  Will see when I get to that point.

Essentially, I had about a third of the bigger wood cut, on a pile, which had to be sorted and stored.  Then I had a third to cut, and then get that up.  I did it.  All of it.  Nicely.  Toward the end, a few logs fell off.  I... almost just left them.  But, no.  I have worked too hard to do it correctly to just leave a mess, even a minor one.  No.  So, I... picked them up, sorted them on the piles, and... know I did right.

Next?  As mentioned, tools were put up.  The wheelbarrow as leaned, the chainsaw has a spot... though I will probably get a plastic bag, for a box, into which it will go.  Oily bastard, leaky.  So, yes.  The sawhorses were brought over to the garage.  Ah, I do have to put those up, and will.

What next?  Just a tad of a break.  Then I'll hit the oven.  Perhaps putting the sawhorses away, in the garage.  The door was down and I didn't think lifting it was something I could quite do, right then.  So, probably the sawhorses away, first.  Then more cleaning in the oven.  And, then, very possibly, another break before a shower.

I must admit, I wasn't sure I would get to work today.  But I did!  I love it when I get to things.

What else this week?  Today maybe?  This front room is still on the list.  Primary.  Groceries are needed.  Working on the sewing areas is a strong contender.  The medium, and small branches and twigs are to be done, and hopefully before snow or too much cold.  More in the kitchen, the bathroom, and yea... those will be the projects for this week.  If I get those done, I'll add more.  Oh, raking, and watering the lawn.  Though I think I will start watering earlier.  Probably as early as 18:00, so I can get to bed earlier.  I start at 20:00, I end up not going to be until after 02:00.  Or not finishing the watering.  Besides, it is dark by 18:00 these days.

Oh, and I have gotten a lot of those stupid flies!  There are still some, but I'd bet I have gotten ninety percent, perhaps more.  But, they come back, from wherever.  I am just keeping them down to that ten percent of initial load.  I can't seem to rid more than that before replacements realize there is plenty of room and begin arriving.  It's... not a bad hobby, I guess.

Nice.  A good workout, right off the bat.  Oh, I had the chain on backwards.  I?  Well, I fixed it.  I was hoping that was the problem.  I had paid attention, when he put it on.  And I was able to get it flipped, on, and working, in a flash.  Now I know.  All very good.  Later.

Later, but a bit earlier.

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An hour and change earlier.  But, it's just... dark?  It seems darker.  Has it been partly cloudy or is it just a sense, that feeling during fall when it seems darker than it really is.  Fewer hours of sun, a change in it's pathing, along with a few more clouds?  Dunno.  Just... having some problems getting going.

All good, I'll get back to my feet soon.  And, do what I can.

First thing today, will be a shower.  Then on to cutting wood.  I'll take the wheelbarrow over there, and stack the wood that has been cut in it, first.  Whatever will fit.  Why stack it in only to stack it out?  Less stooping.  A lot less.  And, yes, that makes it a lot easier.  I hat the idea of moving it just to move it again.  But I have tried it both ways.  The longer way is far easier.

If I can get to that, I'll see about laundry.  I have the last of the dishes to do.  They have been soaking over the weekend.  I know.  But I wasn't able to get to things this weekend.  I am not sure when the filler material will show, but I am thinking at least two packs of that.  Hoping that will be enough.  It will, essentially, if it works like is presumed, fill about two inches, and be pretty much just like tar used on roads, save rated at slower speeds.  It is premixed, and works even in cooler temps.  So...  But, that has to be obtained.  This week, certainly.  I'll see when it might be delivered.  On the good side, that means I have six bags of concrete ready for any needs.  Or to lend out.

I need to get to the grocery store too.  Roasts and burger, chicken, salad, veggies.  Trying to keep it short, but actually get enough to begin stocking extra, just a bit.  I'm not sure the freezer works as well as I'd like, for storage.  Between labeling, and the freezer only storing so-so, If you really work, you can keep three to six months supply in, assuming electricity doesn't fail.  Still, there is that.

After I get to three to six months, I have to consider canning meats.  Which... isn't all that exciting.  It sounds like a lot of work, and with somewhat limited extension, reduced flavor, but... some really nice easy, longer lasting meats.  Another negative, is that fats don't last well in there.  But, I am considering, too, canning ghee, and maybe a bit of lard and tallow.  That would be after canning meats, so isn't going to happen really soon, though maybe around Christmas or New Years, or slightly after?  We'll see.

Strange... 63/63 upstairs, 63/72/71 downstairs, and 70 outdoors.  It's a very pleasant day, mind you.  But that is at about 13:30.  I don't think it will get much warmer out there, though this front room will take more heat.  Still, all good.  After this, and some waking up, I'll get to a shower, then to cutting some wood.  Good afternoon and day.

Very late.

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Not much done.  But, I did get trash and recycling together, to the barrels, and the barrels out to the curb.  Not sure if recycling is tomorrow.  There were three bags, so about a quarter full?  A third?  Something.  As for trash, I think there were two bags, but the hoses took up a lot of space, and there were a few other oddities which made it full, if not... well used?  Had to go.

No, I didn't get to the oven.  But... okay.  It will happen, soon enough.  I will shut most windows upstairs, tonight.  One window open, for just a touch of fresh air.  It's getting cool, cold really.  At mid to low 60s, that may be too cool.  Once I am up, and going, that isn't too bad.  But it can be a bit of a push to wake up through the cooler temps.

I had a heck of a time, this afternoon, and really morning.  I did wake, and check the times, and temps, several times.  I just could not push on through to get out of bed and get going.  We'll see.  Anyway...

I did some gaming tonight.  Not much.  Did it later, in the evening, morning really.  Couldn't sleep.  Just heading that way now, at 03:24.  Sleep well, I will.  I just hope to get up a bit earlier, and sort through some things.  Goodnight, morning, day.

Those flies!

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I've been crushing them, and they just... get up and fly off.  So, I hit them several times, if I can find them after the first swat.  Sometimes the first swat takes them out, sometimes they ignore it.  But by the third one, even the heartier of them is down.  I have no idea what breeds these are, but some of them are... amazingly resilient.

I had worried that it was just me.  My house, my yard, my problem.  I have heard, from others, that this isn't the case.  They seem to be in season, around town.  On the one hand, that makes me feel better.  On the other hand, not.  It is unfortunate that all need to suffer these pests.

Well, back to killing flies.  I have killed... dozens.  Just this morning.  Probably that many ever few hours.  At first I thought I was missing them.  Then, after finding fifty on the floor, around, I realized they are dying, it's just they are difficult to track after being hit.

Every time I clear the zone, they go away for awhile.  Then, the next time I am back, or later on, they return.  Sometimes a few at a time, but always then as a swarm.  Ugh.  I'll... keep killing them.  My guess is, it's like they know time is short.  Oh, and actually, my mother was talking about that recently.  Flies, even in Iowa, are bad this year, or were.  So... okay.  Still...  Bzzz  *SWATTTTT!*

Up very late.

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I think it was right at 14:30.  Down after 02:22 or something?  Body is a bit cranky, but a good type.  Still resting from this last week.  I still have some hope to be able to hit this coming week, hard, again.  Not that it won't be a test.  But, that's good.

Still, today, a few things.  Trash and recycling at least out to the barrels.  Trash probably out  to the curb.  One last major hit on the oven.  And, hopefully, pulling it if possible, and washing top, sides, front, and back.  Then getting it back in place.  And, probably, running it at 500 for a few hours to... get rid of any cleaning residue.  If needed, after that, a wipe down, out, dusting sort of thing.

If I can do anything else, it will be a bit of work in this front room.

It is 69 outside, 63/64 upstairs, 64/73/70 downstairs... cooler near the computer this afternoon, strangely.  All good.  Now to wake up.  Medicine in.  Ugh.  Later.

Well?

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No more cleaning.  But I did obtain some games.  Actually, dlc for games I have played, finished even.  And enjoyed.  I spent, I think, $4.50?  For all included?  Right.  I thought about some other down load content, for other games.  But, if a game's platinum (everything included) trophy requires online play, I don't bother.  So, I skipped some other options.

I notice games are going down in price very quickly.  No one can really get ahold of play station 5 consoles, or the other type.  If I had to bet, I would suggest they can't make them for their promised prices, at the volume wanted?  So, they are hijacking their own sales, and selling them at the required price.  But, now, if you sign up, you can get one... in a month or two.

For me?  I'm done.  They have gotten to the point where the games are all woke, and the consoles are between woke, and government spy systems.  No thanks.  I'll play my ps4 until it dies.  Then go on back to the ps3, if I still want to play something.  No use in getting a console, or even a computer.  Between the operating systems, limits, invasion of privacy, and else, it simply isn't worth it.  Toss in the woke content of so many games, and... no.  Just... no.

Milk and cream arrived.  I don't have kefir grains, and need to set them up with milder store bought milk initially anyway.  The grains are on the way.  I'll have to buy some storebought milk when I do other shopping.  I will just drink and enjoy milk, for a bit, before going back to kefir.  I have missed milk.  Though, I must admit, after having gone without it for so long?  I really?  Don't miss it all that much.  Just as I truly don't miss pasta, like I used to.  Still, I will use it up, in other foods, and drinking it.  Though the cream I did miss.  Just one quart a week, I am hoping, will be tolerable.  Will know soon enough.  If not, I'll just go to kefir.  That should be okay.

I am only awake because I got started on the game, then... got... eaten by it.  On the good side, the dlcs are rather short.  I doubt if they are five to seven hours, played through twice.  Though I might have to play them through several times, to get some trophies.  These are for a game I did platinum in.  I want to get that for the dlcs too.  Anyway... it's finally about bedtime, at 02:22.  Goodnight.