Up.

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I think I have been awake for several hours?  Dunno, something like that.

It had snowed yesterday.  I worried about more, had that... look to it out there.  Instead, it warmed up.  If we got more snow, it melted.  And, some of what was out there melted.  it was to 34 when I checked, after waking.  17:30? 18:00?  Sometime in there.  Which means it may have been warmer earlier.  The driveway was pretty much cleared off, front sidewalk too, after being snowed on recently, with more looking to be on the way.

All good.

Though, it looks like more snow may be coming in.  Around here, I have heard forecasts from a few inches to a few feet, depending on which source.  Believe them?  Well, no.  Not on their merits.  I believe because I... already perceived that it was coming.  I expected a heavy load, earlier than it's arrival.  But... weather is like that.  And, I don't think that will be the last one through.  If the heaviest for the rest of the year?  As I suspect things will go.

Mother called a day or two ago, and today.  Didn't want to keep her worried.  So, I called her today.  She didn't pick up, which... is how it often goes.  But, she would know I called, so am alright.  She did call back later.  Her flowers are still very good.  I really think myself or my brother should send flowers at least monthly.  Why?  Women?  Flowers?  It might not be fair, as some women put it.  But, there is something right to it.  Even for one's mom.  I went a bit pricier than usual.  But... more often I will send a simpler bouquet.  Still pricey, but far less than those "national" lines.  Those are for rich people with no local contacts, not wishing to bother.

Back to gaming.  A bit of a slog left.  But, having gone through two games, of equal length and difficulty so far, really only about two thirds to half of the last game?  I still have to go back and do some cleanup.  But, yes, the last I looked I had 100%, 95%, 90%, and 86% of the trophies.  And I have since gotten a few trophies.  Plus, I can get the last ones on easier settings.  Should be quick.  And I will be getting at least one more trophy (assuming it doesn't glitch, which seems common) by finishing on the most difficult setting.

Strange.  As it warms to above freezing, it seems much cooler?  Perhaps, with things melting, and humidity flooding the air, that is part of the problem?  Maybe.  Ugh.  I sleep well in the cold, now.  Just needing one blanket, sometimes from the start, sometimes after warming a bit.

The joint in my big toe is hurting.  I might have stepped wrong, or the stress of gaming, or I bumped it somewhere and didn't know?  More an annoying pain, though definitely a hurtful thing too.  I'll be careful with it.  And, perhaps, wrap it, again.  Those wraps both keep swelling out, and reduce pain.  Or have.

On to... gaming again.  Have a good day.

No idea when I went to bed.

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I can't even remember if it was light or dark.  Was a bit miffed about the phone "update".  And some other minor things.  Just couldn't sleep until well past when I should have slept.  Crashed so hard when I did.  But, this time, in a good way.  I mean, it helped me to sleep well.

Legs and feet are swelling.  The broken foot more than the other, so I am pretty sure it is still... having some problems.  I would guess it is nearly mended.  I just, from time to time, gets messy in there.  I stopped wearing compression socks for a bit.  They are hard on the the feet and legs, and hot to wear.  But, it's time again.  I'll take a few waterpills too.  But, with those, you have to be able to stand and go, or it will cause more trouble than otherwise.  I think?  So, I will only take those if I am sure I will be mobile.  I think I will, today.  Or at least here at first.

Gaming is going well.  Eating through it fairly well.  Not sure the third game was as good as the first or second, of the trilogy.  They cleaned up some of the game mechanics, then stupidified other sections.  Aiming/targeting, was vastly improved.  But, at times, they made it so that if you don't advance your 'toons, enemies continue to spawn.  And, they make advancing, in those areas, pretty much a pure rng (random number generation, or such).  Which, at the highest difficulty, means a few shots can kill, or a heavy weapon and short auto fire burst.  While you are out in the open.  It's... luck.  And I hate luck.

Still, I have improved, and learned enough about the combat tactics and mechanics to usually get through fairly well and quickly.  The first trick?  Don't try to use a squishy as a tank, and learn the limits of tanks.  I'm using a squishy, to get the more difficult (to now, for me) trophies.

I have been doing small amounts of dishes.  And the sprouts are ready to be cleaned in a vinegar mix, then refrigerated.  The first batch.  The other is till growing.  I figure a couple of batches a week, spread out by three days, will give me fresh green growing things to eat through the week.  This first group will go in with a salad tonight, well, part of it.  I figure about a quarter of a batch will go into some meal or other.  And I like eating them as a minor side, with a bit of vinegar, salt, and pepper, while still fresh.  That and into salads works.  I haven't tried adding them to soups and stews, but will.

I have burger crumble, but need to pull out chicken and maybe a roast.  Get those cooked tomorrow, and have enough for a meal or two a day for the week.  Usually only eating one main meal a day, but a few pieces of chicken, or a salad, plus kefir from time to time, now, again.

Well... on to my day.  Have a good one.

Being slowly crushed.

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Under the weight of the game?  With sleep out of control?  Well... and other things.  I feel like a man, in a dive suit, slowly drifting lower.  It is nearing crush depth.  The metal suit is shrinking, collapsing.  There is only just enough air to breath.  Somehow that is being maintained.  Not sure if I will be crushed, or suffocated first.

From time to time, for reasons I can't quite understand, I rise out of that zone.  But I'll be back.  I don't think I can surface.  I am sort of stuck, down here.  No one can pull me up.  It's only a matter of time, if it might be a long time.  Imagine if that was your fate.  It really is mine.

They hard reset my phone.  Lost all of my phone numbers, addresses, and such.  All of them.  I was not given a choice, as to whether to update or not.  So I don't think it was an actual update.  I may get rid of my phone.  If I can't keep them from doing things like that, it isn't my phone,  So, how do I make calls?

First, I need to gather the phone numbers again.  Then, I need to consider how to get another phone.  A landline?  Maybe.  But, keep it unplugged unless I want or need to make a call.  They wanted me to connect with google, and to upload my contacts.  I wasn't going to do that.  Better to lose them than share them with that crooked company.  Frustrating, but it will be dealt with.  At least I hadn't decided to buy a new cellphone, so I won't be out much.  Gotta keep it for a while, and collect numbers again.  Then, it becomes toast.  Or, just get one of those Walmart phones.  Just, keep it off most of the time.  Cheap.  Just to call out.  Left at home.

On to bed.  Or nearly.  Been gaming.

A potential friend texted.  I texted back.  Then the phone went stupid, pretty much factory flashed, and I don't know if he tried to contact me again.  Oh, I did note, it now has a covid thing on it.  A tracker.  If they all have that, I may simply not get another cellphone.  Trust me, you can't trust them, or such programs.  And, if you can't have a cellphone without them?  Best to go without a cellphone.

Later.  No... probably goodnight.  Maybe not immediately, but soon enough.

There for a while...

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Traffic out there had died down, a lot.  When it was staying from zero to negative 26 (the coldest I measured, possibly not the coldest it got), traffic nearly came to a stop.  It has picked back up.  Almost back to spring and summer usuals.  Then again, gas prices have come down, a bit.  Not fully, and prices still want to jump from time to time.  He'll run out of the national reserve eventually.  Idiot.

There is no way to keep prices down, when you are threatening the whole industry with government interventions, obstruction, and really a war on the industry.  They simply aren't going to invest in finding or obtaining oil if the government is going to block the sale or use of it.  It isn't in their financial interest, and that is just how it works.

But, for a while, they can play the game of lower prices even while the industry is backing away from finding, obtaining, and utilizing oil leases.  And, our once allies, change sides.  Why would OPEC be on the US's side, when the US is at war with oil?  This... doesn't take genius level understanding.  Europe too.  Going to lose that fight.  A military can't run on renewables.  Nukes aren't quickly or easily available.  We will probably end up in coal, and rebuilding the oil pipelines which were canceled.  But... all behind the eightball, while Russia, China, Iran, and India move on with reality and life.  Can't help stupid.  Or, worse, evil stupid.  They might not be good, but they aren't wanting to destroy their people... or as much as the West seems to be doing.

The burger was good, so was fried.  I made food, but just wasn't all that hungry.  I did eat some.  Might have more.  But... not all that hungry, for as hungry as my eyes seem to be.  But, yes, actually... a bit more would be good.

Game is going okay.  I've learned a few tricks.  Though each game is very different.  Almost have the trophies.  There are, I think, four sets of trophies.  I have one done, and the others in the eighty to ninety percentiles, or better.  It looks like I will have to go back, restart.  But on lower settings, thankfully.  But that was almost required.  Some toons can't do some things.  Adepts shouldn't mess with hand-to-hand combat.  And, soldiers can't really cast certain skills, at all.  Limits, built in.

Yes.  Another small meal.  Then putting the burger up.  Oh, and kefir was ready.  I have three half gallons nearly full.  Took my first portion of the new stuff tonight.  To be honest?  I'm not sure there is much difference.  Paranoid, perhaps.  But... I didn't like what I was sensing, so redid it.  It is how I do, if I don't trust what is happening.

Oh, and I really need a shower.  Yes I do.  Later, or goodnight.

Smooth.

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Whatever else may be wrong, tonight is... alright.  The heart is good.  The body is mostly at ease.  Few aches and pains.  Not even all that hungry, if I would like to eat something before too long.  Hopefully the burger is still edible.  I'll have to check it shortly, fry it if so.  I do have some burger fried and stored, which I will probably use in either case.

If the uncooked burger isn't good, I'll pull some out, and some other meats.  A roast?  Yes, and maybe some chicken.  Food has been... pretty good lately.  Meats from the store have been sufficient, fresh, good, even really tasty.  I'm telling you, unlike some?  I can't take bad meat and make it taste good.  I refuse to eat it.  Often, I have tossed it before it was even done.

I may live like a pig, given little choice.  But I won't eat like one.

Dreams, lots of them lately.  I forget them before I even wake, lately.  It's winter.  That's how it works, sometimes.  Same with deep summer.

Even so, as I have mentioned, I am keeping a day and night cycle, if a few hours off, one way or the other.  It is mostly good.  And I am keeping water out of the body, lately, and swelling down in the broken foot.  It is nearly normalized, but... just not quite.  Still, that was a... solid healing process.  Even if it isn't done, it is fast, compared to some.  Probably better without babying it.  Though, the break may have been... a good one to self heal.  Some breaks... would have been tougher to heal, even for me.

Doing well into the third game of the trilogy.  Oh, I have heard there is a fourth game, but it is even worse than these games, as for propaganda purposes.  Totally pro-multiculturalism.  And, usually, in the worst of ways.  Just... understand that.  I am merely playing it, at this point, to finish up "old business".  It's not a particularly good game.  The difficulty is mostly to enhance the propaganda.  It's... easy, for some of us, to see.  Plus, it was free, I see the poison and thus avoid it, and it is eating time so that I don't sleep.  A good thing?  Better to be awake, even if totally distracted, absorbed, than to sleep for weeks or months.

Well... on to... the rest of the day.  Hopefully a few more dishes, a load of laundry, a shower, some food, more gaming?  Oh, I had to toss the first batch of sprouts.  They weren't.  This next batch, from a newer purchase of seeds, is doing swimmingly.  So, a few days in, I am starting a second batch.  I may need to order more seeds.  I DO need to order more seeds.  Ah, and if I hadn't mentioned, I now have two nearly fully half gallon jars of "resting" kefir, plus the two fermenting jars.  And, perhaps tomorrow or Saturday, I should have a third half gallon jar full, and a third fermenting jar.  I am excited.  

Yes, doing things, making things, eating better, more wisely... on several different fronts.  Life is improving.  Difficult as it has been, and remains to a small degree, I am living well within my little husk of a shell of a diminution of a life.  Like a frog, sleeping in frozen mud, until spring.  Ha.  Or even a bear, mostly dreaming the winter away.  My dreams are merely more electronic than neural.  Good morning, day, night, what... ever.

Still very rough.

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I have gotten a lot of fluid out.  Still working on getting a bit more out, and then keeping it out.  It's a bit of a trick, but... yeah.

If you have ever, or even recently, run yourself out of breath?  Worked, or exercised, until you had to take a break.  Perhaps even overdid it, until you had to stop what you were doing, and go sit, perhaps nap.  Your breath is shallow, something is wrong with how hard you worked.  A minor fog sets in, on the mind.  Your body hurts, sometimes becomes cold.

That... has been how my world has been for the last week or so.  Having a very difficult time just being awake.  Though, strangely, unable to sleep as well as I would like, either.  For good or ill, I am sort of stuck on a day/night cycle.  Not exact, as I am waking at about 16:00.  I have lost daylight, through sleeping longer... I think.  Even so, it's still more like a 24 hour cycle, if perhaps more like a 24 or 28 hour program, so within the 24 hour day, I lose time here and there.  Depending on the day.  Can lose four hours one day, make it up for a few days, lose two hours another day, keep it even for a while.  Like a boxer after a both physically and combatively taxing match.  Win lose or draw, potentially minus a ko or even tko, tired and a bit out of focus.

Why?  Can't be sure.  Then again, it is deep winter, even now.  The temp was 14 out there.  I am still fighting fluid buildup.  And I am not sure I ever quite made up for being out so often that one week, in deep winter.

I am still doing small things.  Small batches of dishes, a bit of cooking, making sauces and dressings, taking care of Sassy, and other such.  Little things, but they add up.  Well, and playing a difficult game.  That taxes me more than I would have thought.

On the good side, my heart is not hurting lately.  Getting the water out did more to help than anything, if I had to guess.  Something was terribly wrong.  I was beginning to wonder.  Not much I could do about it.  Other than what I did.  If, to be honest, I didn't think reducing fluid buildup was going to help that.  I was wondering if I was just too old to be gaming at that difficulty.  Perhaps reducing the one allowed for the other.  Who knows.

A salad, I think.  Then I'll see what to cook later.  A few dishes, then a shower, it is hoped.  And some gaming.  Good afternoon, day, and later.

Supper and a bit.

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Brats, with sauerkraut.  It wasn't spectacular.  The brats were of the more plain variety.  Not a bad thing, just a side note.  Sometimes plain is better.  Tonight?  It did what I needed it to do.  Sauerkraut was simple, not the fermented sort.  But, it too did what was needed.

Kefir was reset.  And, yes, I think tomorrow or the day after, I should be able to split out enough of the grains for a third fermenting quart.  I am up to right around half a gallon of the stuff.  One or two more resets, and I should have nearly a gallon.  After the next reset, I'll start drinking a quart a day.  When I get to three half gallon jars, I'll be able to consume at will, again.  That stuff definitely helps with bm's.  I am slightly missing it.

Eating more of a meat diet, and going to it more quickly than I probably should, means bm's are a bit difficult.  There are good aspects.  I go after almost every meal, and pretty much every morning.  I'm not even drinking coffee or tea regularly, so it is just... a good system, with the right foods.

You can, by those, tell if you are eating correctly.  I am close.  If, too, changing foods recently... to mostly meat... and having trouble with fluid buildup, and working to get rid of that, together, cause some slight problems.  It's working out and will be in better shape shortly.

I have completed the second of third game, of the series of console games I am playing.  And on the most difficult level.  One more game to go.  Though, I would like to finish the trophy list.  I have a few more to go, but am nearly finished with those as well.  I will probably go to whichever game requires it, and play it on an easier mode to get those.

When these games first came out, I couldn't finish, at least on the harder difficulty, either of the first games.  The game would hang, stored games would disappear, or become corrupted.  Huge problems.  I never played the third game because of it.  They came out with a set, of all of them.  I got it free, through a program I am in with my console.  It looks like no one was willing to buy it after having had such problems with getting through the game.  I doubt if I was the only one who faced a game so buggy, and difficulty, that between them many of us never would pay for that again.

Still, it's getting done.  Fifteen years later, or some such.  But, done is done.  I have completed the third game, but on an easier setting.  Not sure it will be completed, on the harder setting.  But, two out of two, from before.  Worth a shot.

I may try to fry more burger tonight.  Take a shower too?  Pretty zapped.  I will be starting the last game, as well, in a bit.  When I need a break, I'll start on something else.  Then go on to bed, or... something else.  Who knows.  Later, or goodnight.

A good sleep.

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Not sure when it was that I went to bed.  It was still dark, I think.  I woke at 15:30, after trying to wake from noon on?  Maybe.  Something like that.  Sassy came up to pester me several times.  Which is fine.  Crawled in with me a few times.  Fed first thing.

It is very bright out there.  I am surprised that didn't wake me earlier.  Must have needed the sleep.  

I have been working on getting rid of fluid in my body.  Between waterpills, compression socks, and going right when I notice the need, I have wrung a lot of fluid out.,. up to a liter at a time.  Possibly more a few times.  But, my feet were both remaining swollen.

I sort of left those for last, on purpose.  When there is fluid in the way, the rest of the way up, draining the feet takes longer.  And doesn't stay drained as well.  Anyway, last night, I wrapped the feet.  This morning they look normal, if I dropped three liters last night.  So, yes.

Now, to keep up on the fluid draining, the last of it, until it is well cleared.  Then managing intake.  Part of the extra intake was a burst of carb eating.  Yea, that raises blood sugar, which then increases thirst.  Happens, often, at the first of the month.  Working on getting that not to happen.

Storing better foods, and having enough for several months on hand, will help.  Mostly meats.  Two packs a week, maybe three.  Beef crumble ready to go, a roast or several cuts of meat cooked at the first of the week.  I need to boil some eggs, and have a dozen of those for a week or two period.  And, yes, lettuce, or salad really.  Found premade, in-store, salad, and bought it.  Price is going way up, but... it stores better, and I don't end up throwing out unprocessed romaine or iceberg heads.  Just the way of it.

Oh, someone reminded me of mascarpone, or a form of cream cheese.  I won't make that really soon, but soon enough.  I'd like to make a keto cheese cake.  Imagine making that with homemade mascarpone?  Look, I can't afford a fancy restaurant.  Or even as much raw cream as I'd like.  But I can, sometimes, make little nice dishes, at a much smaller cost, and knowing what is in it and that it is good for me.

Sure, I might eat too high of an intake of carbs, and the wrong carbs, occasionally.  But at least what else is in there is actual food.  And I am not paying for a cook, the overhead, the staff, on top of tips, and else, for food that is at best questionable.  I suppose, if I want food cooked, I'd have to find a wife.  Can't afford one of those, in America, either.  Bleh.  Besides, women don't cook these days.  Or well, often, many of them.  Cheeto's spam dinner?  No thank you.

The brats were made.  I think I still have a jar of sauerkraut.  Not the best of them, but I'll use it up.  I'd like to make my own sauerkraut, but there are limits on how much I can keep going.  But, might get there someday.  I'd rather try to find a local veggie market (not farmers, that... is for rich people).  But, there is, or was, a market for fresh local grown veggies which are for real people.  Grabbing four to six heads of cabbage there, and setting that up, might be the way to go.  It's how I would grow it.  I neither believe in, or trust, "organic".  Plus, I know that is a starvation farming method, which would end up killing a lot of people.  But, those people wouldn't necessarily (correctly) go down without a fight.

So, a few of the brats fried, and some sauerkraut... that... will be dinner, shortly.  Sounds good to me.

Bright out there.  Amazingly bright.  It is 18 F.  Not too off the 20 average of late.  Sort of surprised it has stayed... mostly winterish.  Then again, maybe I am just staying awake more this winter?  It's a good winter, for me.  Life is improving.  I think, perhaps, medicines helped.  But they also hurt, in the extremes of seasons.  Perhaps they have done as much good as they can?  Now it's just... a matter of living until I die?  Who knows.  If the Veterans Admin would allow us back in, without the mask, I'd probably go back on medicine.  Though I don't see that happening.  They wanted to kick as many of us out as they could, the sickest of us... those who can't use the mask.  And, they have.  Rome used to outright murder it's vets.  Didn't know that, did you.  I've sort of been looking for that.  Though, they can do it with "medicine" too.  I've seen many go down that way.

Later.

Days and nights are trading places.

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Not much I can do about it, quite yet.  Between pushing last week, and the game beating me up... while glued to it... life is what it is.

I did do a few more dishes.  I got kefir reset, but this time started collecting the output, as it is from all raw milk at this point.  It looks like I began adding raw milk at just the right time, as the kefir grains have redoubled since yesterday, making up for the loss in half the then grains due to a spill.  In another day or two, I should have enough gains to start a third fermenting quart jar.  At which time I will refresh the jars currently in use for fresh... then wash those.

They say that kefir does well.  That it will last forever.  I'm not exactly sure what went wrong.  Did something get introduced, accidentally or through sabotage?  Was my method of separating... that is using a plastic mesh strainer, and wooden spoon, pressing the grains through harshly and quickly damage the kefir grains?  Or was it left on the counter just too long a few weeks ago, and it got so sour it started going... off?  I just don't know.  But I do know that kefir can go... off.  It wasn't toxic, or for me.  But I wouldn't have served it to a human.  Uhrm, you.

I have half, or a little less, of my first half gallon of the stuff.  I will wait until I have two full half gallons, then I'll begin having between a pint and quart a day.  While upgrading to three fermenting quarts at a time.  Eventually I will be back to one to two quarts a day.  Good stuff, if you can get used to some bite.

I'll fry burger and brats today.  I think I do have leftover burger, I'll perhaps make keto spaghetti, or go to the dark side and add beans and cheese, plus creme fraiche.  Probably the latter, to be honest.  I've been eating a lot of meat, and not sure my body is completely ready for that.  Add it over lettuce, and it should be... good enough.

Oh, and I remembered.  Couldn't be sure when Valentine's Day was.  I had been working on finding places to buy flowers, for my mom.  Get them sent.  If you try "national" services, they charge two hundred and more for a dozen roses, or near that.  But, if you can find local, you can halve that.  I can't afford hundreds.

Anyway, I ordered yesterday.  A dozen.  And, every few months, I'll send her something.  Oh, I'll let my brother know about this.  A little thing, to brighten her week.  Something physical.  It's as much as I can do, for now.  She was pleased.  Called when I was asleep.  I called back.  She's having a bit of a rough day.  Those get more difficult the older, iller, we get.  This I know.

It has been around 20 to 24 F out there for the last few days, pretty steady (from what I have seen).  It was... almost a light freezing mist, out there, with a bit of wind.  Strangely, it didn't feel nearly as cold as that might make it seem.  It was... fresh, nice.  Or... at least to me.

I have sure enjoyed messing with food this week.  And, finally, getting mayo made, and then on to ranch.  And with blue cheese dressing in my sights.  I didn't call the church again today, as I woke too late.  But, last night, between gaming, eating, dishes, and Sassy's needs, I did look for other churches which might work.  I have four, I think, which I may call in an attempt to find what I am seeking.  Might have to drive to SLC, but... so be it.  It's expensive, but if no one close is able, or willing, to help, I have to get this done.  THEN, I do begin doing regular, and perhaps learning to deal with foreign language speakers.  I'll... keep on it, as able.  I'll try to push days around before I have to, for a meeting.  Ugh.

The heart hurt.  Legs were getting thick.  Feet are swelling.  Some of it is from missing medicine.  Some of it is from the stress of the game.  Some of it is from changing my menu, probably a bit too quickly.  But, I... am trying to deal with it.  I found water pills, and took a handful last night.  Oddly, it only kicked out, say, four liters?  Well, overnight.  If that is four times, and more, what is becoming more normal.  Eight times, actually?  Yes.

The water retention isn't from drinking too much, or stress.  It is because I so exhausted myself that I wasn't getting up to go as often as I should/would in normal more rested times.  So, it... just... went to ground.  In my legs, feet, torso, and elsewhere.  A few more water pills today, if not so many.  Some painpills.  And trying to get up and go, when I feel the need... before it just goes to ground, wherever.

Butter.

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Oh, storebought can be okay.  Well, not really.  I looked more closely at the ingredients on storebought butter.  I hadn't done that in a long while.  Either recipes have changed, or I wasn't as particular, knowledgeable, about food the last times I did that.

I was only able to find one brand of butter that didn't have... stuff in it.  From "natural flavors" to... really whack things.  My, to now, go to brands failed even more miserably.  And labeling?  They might as well quit labels.  You can't add sugar and have there be no carbs.  But, sugar in butter?  Yes, in some.

I'll keep at things.

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I called the church, twice.  No answer.  I've left messages, have heard nothing back.  So I don't leave messages anymore.  I'll call until I catch someone.  That is how the world works often.

I did sample the dressing on a small bit of salad.  I... was happy.  The dressing wasn't even cold.  Very good.  I think I'll have a real salad, and some chicken.  The last of the leftovers.  I might even have a spot of dressing for with the chicken itself.

I then called my mother.  Just checking in.  She sounded tired, but good.  When you hit your 80's, it's your party.  Or, when you live near death, as I do.  Not... really a choice.  The body, at some point, does what it must.  We just abide in it, if not it itself?  Then again, I'm pretty tired myself.

Yes, a good day.  And I did some work last night.  Little things.  If I didn't get to bed when I had hoped.  If you can't do what you want, do something useful otherwise?  That's my goal.  I am hoping to finish a few more small dishpans, have some food, feed Sassy and tend her elsewise, perhaps do a load of laundry too.  Maybe.

I'll keep calling.  There are limits, on my side.  But I'll do what I can.  Time is ticking away.  I don't have much else to do, but to keep at it.  God knows, I... do what I can, when I can remember, and am able.  The rest... is sort of up to Him.

Supper!  Later.

I had forgotten something.

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In the mayonnaise.  An acid, lemon juice, vinegar, something along those lines.  I knew that before beginning salting, so added some of that with the salt.  All I had, for sure, was red wine vinegar.  So I added that, and salt, stirred, and... just right.  Well, it is that gold/green look of real evo oil.  And it... tastes a bit strong.  But, I would rather that, or avocado oil, than lessor oils.  I don't always eat for flavor.  I do the best, within ability and allowances.

The vinegar and salt definitely improved the flavor.  Not that I hadn't added salt initially, but I went light.  Easy to add salt, impossible to remove it.  This mayo is about as perfect as could be made.  Plus, it has been inoculated with kefir.  We'll see if that allows it to last long.  Then, too, I would guess that means, after a bit of fermenting, even the dressings will last longer than typical?  Talk about a real gift which keeps on giving?  We'll... see.  Dressings, before, only lasted about a week, at most.

I'll be making ranch dressing this afternoon.  Two types.  One with sour cream (storebought) and one with creme fraiche (mostly homemade).  A pint per.  And, I will have some salad this evening, probably with the creme fraiche dressing this first time.  I may have a can of tuna around, to add to the salad.  Not sure I will, but maybe.

And, a call.  Haven't heard anything back from the church.  Might see about other churches as well.

Feeling slightly better?  Sleep is changing, cycling.  I can't do much about it.  But, I'll... keep at it.  Keeping at least a day and night, of as close to twenty four hour cycles, is as good as I can do.  A few hours of slippage is just going to happen, until I can cycle around to day and night again.  I seem to be able to hold that, for a longer time, these days.  But, any time I push capacity to function, I may well send the thing tumbling again.  Or, even cause me to have two to three sleep cycles per solar day cycle, or sleep days at a time.  Though, honestly, it's been a while since I have slept two to three days, or more, at a time.  Things, to a degree, have improved.  I think taking the medicine, and learning of the real cause of my illness... the heart... allowed me to... fix some things.  Not completely.  But, it's better.  And, probably, will stay better until I die.  Then, hopefully, it will get a lot better.

I wetted the first tray of sprouts.  They suggest a tray at a time, every other day.  I'm going every third day.  The sprouts are good on things raw, or in a mini mixed salad as a side, with a bit of vinegar, salt, and pepper.  I have heard they go well in soups and stews, as a finish.  I don't know, but hope to try that before long.  Even just to dress up a can of soup, as a proof of concept.

Today?  More dishes, the call(s), maybe one load of laundry, kefir reset later, a shower, and work on that small bathroom hall.  I can get a chair there, so I don't have to work as hard.  I can't work all that hard.

Sleeping so hard, that I sleep so deeply that I don't roll as I should.  That helps make me sore.  But, tensing in the game, too, makes it difficult.  That and having gotten out so often last week.  That absolutely pushed me to limits I haven't exceeded since fall.  But was in better shape, then, to tolerate.  Painpills, yes, I think so.  May offer an opportunity to push a bit more today.

Oh, feet and legs are doing very well.  Compression thigh-high socks are helping with circulation a great deal.  They DO hurt, at times, to wear.  But, my legs and feet are staying warm.  And, mostly, I am voiding fluid much more easily.  That and the pedicure really did the job.  As mentioned, they are sore from the socks, but... to have better circulation is worth a... reasonable price.

On to my day.  Later.

That was it!

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Trying to use storebought eggs IS the problem.  These were fresh, from a homestead.  Non-soy feed, the works.  Plus, with all day being allowed to feed outdoors, and a really nice pasture.

I might see about other types of oil.  EVOO is a bit... stout.  In any case, I will use it for now.  I even inoculated it with kefir, as I turned the kefir over.  Spilled have the grains I had been working on growing, but... oh well.  There is always some issue or other.

I'll let it bloom overnight, maybe longer.  Add a bit more salt, I think.  But really, it came out perfectly.  Thick, rich, and tasty.  A bit more salt would be good.  The other spices and herbs did well though.  Just... a touch more salt.  I guess sometimes it will work.  Now to see if it lasts as I'd like.

I'll be using some of it for salad dressings this week.  Initially ranch, but if I can get out and back, to obtain blue cheese, I'll make some of that too.  Perhaps a pint of each, for now?  Maybe.  What is it, spices, herbs, mayo, cream, and sour cream or creme fraiche.  That last lasts a rather long time as well.  Since it is cultured.  I was a bit amazed.  Weeks, at least.  Now to see about mayonnaise.  I'm liking this game.  Goodnight.

Still awake.

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The game drew me in.  And, beat me up for a while.  Oh, I did get through things, but slowly.  Then... I'd go on another mission.  Achy for it.  Painpills, tonight.

Good even as leftovers.

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The chicken from last night was excellent, again.  Reheated in the oven.  The potato was given twenty minutes first, then the chicken went in for twenty minutes.  Worked out just right.  I had thought about cooking veggies as well, but just didn't have the energy.

Kefir was reset, using half raw, half storebought.  One more day of that and then I'll be using raw milk.  At that point I will begin storing the kefir produced.  Good thing, too.  I just ran out of the last of the kefir I had stored.  That doesn't mean I can consume kefir tomorrow.  I will want to begin storing it.  When I get to two half gallon jugs of the stuff, then I will begin eating it again.  Perhaps toward the middle or end of this week.  With only two jars, for fermenting, at the moment, it will take a while.  If, hopefully, by the end of the week, I will have enough extra kefir grains to start a third fermenting jar.

Not much else today.  I can barely stand.  Getting very tired.  And, rather early?  I'll game just a bit more, then feed Sassy... check her litter, change her water out, then go on to bed.  I can't hit dishes or laundry.  To tired.  Could barely stand the little needed to do supper.

I have kept thinking about making onion soup.  The problem is the time it takes to cook the onions!  Yes, you really have to be on top of that, or you'll end up wasting a lot.  So, yes, I keep looking at videos... sort of the way a dog watches a cat right outside it's reach on a chain.

Still a bit harsh.

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Awake at around noon?  Something.  An half hour later, and I am just sort of beginning to escape sleep.  I've been up, sitting here, reading what some say about the world.  But the broader mind is just becoming aware.  All good.

Sleep was good, deep, restorative.  Different from sleep, more generally, lately.  I have been so exhausted that I didn't really sleep well, or deeply.  And my dreams were so very real.  Last night was good.

Still a bit rough.  But, maybe, I hit the worst of it the last two nights, and am headed toward improvement.  If last night was any indication.  I think it was.  It feels as if I was put in a bag, then beat like a piñata.  Swollen and sore pretty much everywhere... actually, more legs and arms, upper and lower.  Not... sure what caused it all.  All I know is it is rough, but finally getting better.

Monday?  No, Sunday?  Strange.  All good though.  Not sure how I missed a day.  Even so, it gives me a day to get trash and recycling out.  I'll also hit dishes, reset kefir if today with a mix of storebought and raw milk, already wetted the sprouts for the morning and will do that later, possibly shower, and maybe start a load of laundry?  Oh, and maybe reset the bed.  That... hasn't been done for two weeks.  I was totally wasted, and woke so sore and foggy it... just wasn't remembered.  Still, I've been doing that well, up to now.  I'll... get it today or tomorrow.

Best feed Sassy.  Been keeping up on her and her litter box, water, and giving her attention.  Trust me, that... is serious mojo goings on, for me, in the winter.  High winter and high summer are tricky for me.  My mind has limits, and body.  Same thing?  Almost, or... associated, usually.  I think it was 20, out there, the last time I looked.  Still cold.  Sometimes we get breaks from the freeze, but not as often this winter?  Or am I just more awake and aware this year?  The latter, if I had to bet.

Crazy stuff going on in the world.  Though, if there is a nuclear exchange, understand it won't have been from this or that, but a decision by both groups to go that far.  Don't ever let them try to fool you, either side.  Though, to be honest, I sort of expected it would have happened.  Keep it to Ukraine.  If I doubt it will stay there.  We'll see.  And Taiwan?  One or two minor nukes and they would surrender.  Something not even used in most war planning.  All the ships and men in the world wouldn't help with that.  Just a minor port city, and an interior city of some importance... boom, surrender.  Plan on it.  China doesn't want to destroy the island though, but some of it is extraneous.  Plus, they want political payback to the politicians, industrial leaders, and civilians in general there.  They aren't the good guys though, unlike some seem to think.

So, who are the good guys?  Politically?  By government, or sets of those?  There... aren't any good guys.  Maybe never were.  At this point, none of them are even trying to pretend to be.  Don't believe me?  keep taking your vaxxes, wearing your masks, and shutting up about the side effects.  And, get your electric vehicles, enjoying renewable energy, and going without petroleum products.  And without food, you don't need that either, I guess.  And that is in America.  At least you aren't in Ukraine.  Yet.

On to... other things.  Gaming, if I can.  Trying not to go back to bed.  Oh, feeding Sassy first.  Later.

Very good.

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The chicken turned out to be excellent.  I feared it would be old, or long refrigerated, or... off.  Now, I did brine it.  For an hour.  Just salt and water, nothing fancy.  I dried it very well, before wrapping it in foil.  I made two different areas, within the foil, and spiced each differently.  One was more thyme, basil, tarragon, salt and pepper?  The other was similar, but with cayenne ground pepper.

I had one of each, if I think I had two of the plainer spiced pieces.  It was excellent.  As well, a potato, with butter and creme fraiche.  I'm telling you, creme fraiche really is a good thing.  The meal was superb.  I couldn't eat another piece, though, if I wished it.  I can't imagine how much the world has changed.  Three drumsticks and a potato completely filled me?  Almost to the point of being stuffed?  All good, I suppose.

I did do a bit of dishes.  Not quite going to do more.  Not today.  Maybe not tomorrow.  I am absolutely bruised, battered, and spent.  Not sure how that is possible.  But, I guess, getting out of the house five or six times in the last week or so is more than you, or I, could imagine.  Given my condition.  I am alive, but just.  Brutal, but glad of it.  I just can't go much further.  Rest, for a bit.

I did do one small thing.  I did get seeds to soaking, drained and rinsed them, then set up one batch in the tiered sprouting sets.  Every few days I will do another tier.  In four to six days, they should be done.  Rinsing them each night and morning.  Then, when they are done... pulling them, rinsing them in vinegar, then storing them.  If you don't clear and clean them right at maturity, they can get really nasty very quickly.  I'll try to pay closer attention this time.

It took a while to learn how to do kefir.  It is taking some time to get the hang of sprouts.  These are good foods, worth the effort.  But there is a trick to them.  No, as I have suggested, I am not a hippie.  I am not even really a foody.  Though I will taste almost anything.  And, if it is locally available and good, I may add it to my menu.  But, really, I am simply more concerned about eating more rightly, tending my body... weak as it is, ill as I am.  It's... more a responsibility than it is... a luxury, or even joy.  I do enjoy food, and try to really enjoy it more by eating rightly.  But it's more about tending my body in a way that I can.  Some people treat their pets better than they treat their own bodies.  I try to do similar, for both.  Even got Sassy to lose weight, and am trying to encourage health and weight loss in my own body.  Not... successfully, yet.  But... the idea is there.

Tomorrow I will redo the kefir with a mix of half of the last of the milk, split between the jars, a quarter into each jar, plus a similar amount of raw milk.  Two days of that, then I'll be on pure raw milk.  Hopefully that works out.  As soon as possible, after that, I will then cut out enough grains for a third jar.  I do... enjoy playing with, and making to a degree, my own food.  I'd love to garden, but it's... not possible.

A bit more gaming.  Food needs to be put up.  A bit more to drink.  Then on to bed.  I'll try to get a shower tomorrow.  And, maybe, finish up the dishes currently set to go.  Maybe set up another group of dishes.  Taco salad, tomorrow.  Maybe a piece of chicken if I'm still hungry.  Oh, and I am thawing meat.  Some of it I may cook as well.

Later?  No, probably goodnight.  Not for a bit, but I probably won't be back.

Rough in every way.

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My legs and calves are killing me, as if I just unloaded a trailer, reaching high and squatting to stack boxes.  I am exhausted too, as if I had done a lot of work.  Absolutely shot.  I have been gaming most of the day, but have managed kefir and Sassy for the day, so far.

I can barely stand.  Even so, I tried to get to a bit more.  I gave the dishes nearing the end a finishing hit, then set them to soak.  As well, I emptied a dishpan, cleaned it, rinsed it, and set chicken to brine.  While that is going, baking potatoes.  One will be a twice baked, one will be... just... baked.  When they are done, the chicken drumsticks will go in.

I ordered water.  It wasn't supposed to show until Monday.  Glad to see it.  As well, finally got a pair of pliers which was ordered the first of last month, or the month before.  I received the package, but it had been slit open and the pliers gone.  They had to have known.  Well, it's here.  I am collecting a few tools, through time.  But, mostly, I am just buying food.  Beans, soy sauce, fish sauce, mushrooms... some of it has a long shelf life, some of it not so much, trying to store and eat what is best.

Why soy, fish, and oyster sauce?  These aren't just flavorings.  They have things in them that are good, on top of the flavor.  Soy?  More for traditional flavorings.  If I do choose what is in it carefully, at careful as you can be these days.  The fewest ingredients, and the more traditional ingredients.

Well, and it does help.  There have been times when I can barely walk, can't really get out, need food.  Better than starving.  Sure, it isn't top notch.  But it is edible.  And, if the world is rough, I would rather eat carbs than nothing.  Sometimes I can't eat meat.  Sometimes I can't eat carbs.  I sort of have to eat what I can eat, sometimes.  Usually I can stick with keto, or carnivore, depending on how well I can shop and keep the stove and oven clean enough to be open.  But when I can't, I... eat what I can.  Eating less, too.  Mostly.

Sort of hoping the chicken is good.  If not, I'll do burgers and salad, taco salad.  Still haven't made mayo yet.  Today or tomorrow?  Not sure.  My body is worn, tired, hurting.  Still, I was able to do some things.  Maybe more?  I'm trying.  Later.

Bad shape.

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I had plans to get out, go do something.  Do a bit more shopping.  Problem is, I can't stand for long.  Difficulty waking.  Still not really awake.  Cold to the bone, for some odd reason.  Legs hurt, sore.  Foot is better, but this is a down down for it.  The first in a week.  I must have just pushed a little too hard in too many ways, over too many days.  I'm not complaining.  I... enjoyed pushing.

I don't even mind the pain.  My body hurts here, there, and everywhere.  A bit.  Not great pains, just little pains everywhere.  Adds up though.  I'd say it's a solid seven or eight, for total pain.  That it is a lot of little ones, to a degree, is better.  I can't focus on any singular area, without being distracted by another pain somewhere else.

My mind wanders from hurt to pain to the next.  But, each thing was earned.  Lifting this hurt that, walking that far hurt these, stretching to get this, or put that there, hurt those.  And, mostly, I know what caused most things.  Even with the last few days down, mostly due to having burned through energy, it is just now that the aches from burning the energy occur.  I'm... pleased.  I was beginning to wonder if I had pushed as hard as I thought.  Yep.  Pleased.

So, not going anywhere.  Not doing anything.  Relaxed though, into my suffering.  Offering it to those in purgatory.  Grateful to God for a responsive body.  Works, and even pains.  Graces, really.  But, I just can't do more today.  Maybe fore several days.  All good.  Though, if someone shows, I'll... have to get on my feet, as able.  It is how life goes, sometimes.

I reset the kefir.  Tomorrow, and the next day, I will add half storebought and half raw milk.  Until the storebought is gone.  Then I'll go to just raw.  The grains are doing well, and growing more each day.  They'll be back at it, and strongly, in a few days.  I need to do a bit of the dishes, to get more fresh jars, for next week.  Probably not today... too wiped.  But, maybe tomorrow, or Monday.

As well, I am soaking radish seeds for sprouts.  Goes good in salad, with or without burger or eggs.  And, isn't bad in soups and stews from hearsay.  I'd like to find out myself.  Oh, and I need to pull some stock from the freezer.  When I eventually get blue cheese, I'll also grab a bag of onions, for my cooking needs.  I do love onion.  In with roasts, diced taco type salads or else, and one many things.  I go through a bag every week or two.  Love that stuff.

Anyway...  While I can't do much today, I'll... sort some things in my mind, write some lists, and contemplate life.

Got stuck in the game.

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Couldn't get through, couldn't quit.  Well, I did make progress.  But, finally, hit a spot I couldn't get through.  It was late, I was tired beyond reason already, and the game difficulty, all combined to beat me like a bad dog.  Finally crashing somewhere between twenty three hundred and midnight.  Always a few last things to do, so I am sure it was after midnight when I went down.

Dreams, again.  But not about her... if that was a dream.  Vivid, if not that vivid.  Some sort of future tomorrow people think of, or used to, when they thought of the future.  Flying cars, tech that (usually) actually works.  An easy life.  Though I am always suspicious.  I wondered about that easy food.  What was actually in it?  There were no labels, other than flavor and/or texture options.  Everything was premade, in some factory.  Everyone ate the same stuff.  It tasted good.  But... as mentioned, to my living mind outside the dream, it was dubious.

As for minorities?  There... weren't any.  I guess they fixed that.  At the very least by appearances and attitudes.  Menial labor?  Bots.  Literal bots.  Behind the façade of good workers, good neighbors, good stewards, though, was the rest.  All I am sure about is that it... wasn't... near as pleasant as it seemed.  You worked until you couldn't.  Then... you went away.  The environment was managed to as sustainable a decline as possible.  There were... good things, and bad things.  But, everyone, for the most part, understood this was as... good as we could do.

There was opposition.  Most political.  Not like today, with most political insanity being astro-turfed.  Real people would, could, and did create groups to oppose things, or better education, lower taxes, such.  And, it... was successful up to points.  Can't get rid of all taxes.  Can't end death.  Limits.  But people were practical.

With lower crime, Europe was actually jealous.  Without so-called minorities, crime became almost unknown.  Oh, a pencil or pen might go missing, from time to time.  But whether it was lost, accidentally borrowed and too expensive to return feasibly, or what, was a whole other thing.  People could move from Burg, Iowa, to Chicago or L.A., and have no worries about predation.  It was amazing.  But, amazing in a dying world.  Still, most understood, or tried to make little changes.  Life in a box, sort of.  Still, better than today.  Politicians had been tied by a lot of limits.  Again, as they had been at the beginning.  Nice.

There were other dreams.  At least as complex.  Some of them didn't make sense.  Imagine being a being which could traverse the stars, the muck of the universe, almost swim through the toxins and terrible masses and forces.  Look into places human eyes can't see.  But, be able to understand, to a degree, what was being "seen".

Other dreams too.  Some sort of animal.  Here on earth.  But I never did see myself, or understand.  Some sort of, if I had to guess, nocturnal small mammal.  An possum, racoon, marmot?  Something like that.  Feeding, hunting, at night.  They can't see perfectly, but well enough to get around.  Hearing, and scent, are as much a part of their methods.

Such dreams.  And all so much closer to real than dream, if as mentioned not as concrete, absolute, or realistic of a set of sensations as the dream yesterday.  Still, more real than usual.  Very strange.  Wonderful, if a bit terrifying.  Ah... so be it.  Later.

Oh, right.

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Last night.  She was in my dreams.  But more, it seemed.  She... that was as close to being in the flesh as I have ever dreamed.  So much so, that I attempted to keep away from her.  I was so tired though.  I couldn't... resist.  Part of me didn't want to resist.  But, really, I tried.  I just couldn't keep her away.  It was terrible and wonderful all at once.  Been a... while.  I tell you, I am not absolutely sure that was purely a dream.

Too tired.

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I didn't get to anything?  Yep.  Well, I fed Sassy.  Several times through the day.  Will probably feed her twice more.  Just... too tired.  Am falling asleep browsing the web.

I did game a bit.  But... got frustrated, with being as tired as I am.  I will play a bit more, or I am going to crash.  And, will probably go to bed before too long no matter what else.  Yes, I pushed things.  And, there is a price for it.

Still, glad to have pushed things.  I enjoy trying.  Or, more, succeeding.  I did well.  It just has cost me a great deal.  Can't do much.  Will be crashing, hard, in an hour or so.  Two?  Something.

Have a good one.  Goodnight.

A new day.

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Friday already?  I have been pushing.  Then going to bed later, and waking later.  Which is the cause, effect, I can't say.  On the good side, my days and nights aren't flipping like objects of some cosmic juggling.  And, there is some hope to bring alignment back, if I could just back off a bit, for a while.

Today?  Freezertop finishing, dishes, perhaps some laundry?  Maybe a bit in that bathroom hallway.  Cooking chicken drumsticks... I'll want to brine those for a bit.  And something to eat.  I've been eating, pretty much, just one meal a day.  More yesterday, but as events lead to that.  Oh, and I'll give homemade mayonnaise a shot.  Then, with cream tomorrow, I can make a base for several salad dressings.  I do have keto mayo, if my attempts fail.  But I really don't care for it.  It is avocado oil based, but there is always way too many ingredients in it for it to be a clean food.  

Look, egg, oil (a good one, like avocado, ev-olive, or such), mustard (without carbs, mustard doesn't have carbs, unless added!), is all that is required.  Sure, that isn't shelf stable.  And it is tricky to make.  But... it is rather easy to make, too.  Mostly.  And, I have to admit, homemade tastes so much better than storebought it... just can't be rightly compared.

So, a list of things.  I forgot to call to check about confession yesterday.  They are not open today.  There are confessional times, but there is both a longer line, and a presumption that confession will be short and sweet.  Not that my list is all that long, but it is both a catching up, and with things from the past which need... managed more properly.  Odd how things become clearer the more you look, and see.  I'll get on that Monday.  Put something in the phone to remind me.

A good list for today.  And, very possibly doable.  Maybe a bit more.  If I ease into things, and figure out how to do them without standing the whole time.  Tired, but not terribly so.  If I don't push it too hard, I have some wind in me, and potentially a second or third wind.  If I am careful.  I might be able to work well today.

Dreams.  Crazily deep dreams this week.  Enemies, allies, the state, the good and bad part of that.  Changes, chaos, order, light, darkness.  Filled.  So complex there is no way I could bring that back to waking.  Or, not this time.  Or this week.  Every other day or so, I have been dreaming deeply.  Death, life, war, all in efforts toward a real, right, peace.  You must war, often, with your own, before you can war with anyone else.  Or even before you can rightly war with anyone else, or even decide whether that is right.  We... have a war upon us.  At home.  Probably shouldn't be anywhere else with that, until this is done.

On to my day.  Good morning and day.

A reasonable start.

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Couldn't get it all finished.  Did get the freezertop cleared.  Then got the burger sorted from five to two pound packages, and cooked one.  As well, got the meats put away in the freezer.  The fridgetop freezer is full.  So it all went into the chest freezer.  A reasonable start.

I did leave one package of chicken out, well in the fridge.  Will try that tomorrow.  Had some of the burger with some of the salad.  Nothing hot added, just a bit of milder spice, and some cheese.  A pleasant bit to eat.  I still have to put up the cooked burger, but... it'll get done.

Oh, I'll remember to pull some chicken or beef stock, for use with liver.  And pull liver?  Ah, when I get onions.  Ugh.  I forgot those.  Got everything else, plus some things, today.  Just not onions.  Oh, and I need to look up which spices are recommended for ranch... make sure I have them.  And, buy a small chunk of blue cheese, to be crumbled into a portion of the base dressing.

Uhrm?  Right, and I need to attempt making homemade mayonnaise.  I have creme fraiche made.  What else was required?  I'll... look.  Ah... sour cream (which I will replace with sour cream with cream cheese, for half of it.  I do have sour cream, would like to try both ways.  For both types I am making.  Spices?  Salt, pepper, onion and garlic powder, parsley, and dill (or chives?), plus or minus sweetener of some sort... or so I hear.  And, yes, I have those.  So... okay.  For the blue cheese, I just want the base, salt and pepper, plus chunked up blue cheese.  So, yes, I have it.  When I get fresh cream this Saturday, I'll... get to it.  Well, I do need blue cheese.  I'm planning to be out Saturday, so can pick up a brick of blue cheese.  Though I can make, or try to make, mayonnaise between now and then.

I did get a shower today.  And did a couple of smaller batches of dishes, after doing two small batches yesterday.  Hopefully, tomorrow, I will finish those that are soaking, set up another set of dishes.  Wash the now cleared freezertop.  And maybe get several sets of dishes through.  And, make a few more calls.  I have heard nothing back about confession.  I'll... call until I do, one way or the other.  Damn, but one has to keep people's feet to the fire sometimes.

I am tired.  Still, I have... things to do.  People to see.  I even reached out about getting help finding the septic tank.  Sounds... possible.  Not sure when.  But I will be here.  And I am usually awake during the day, if it's slipping into later morning.  Will... keep trying.

I have to do a bit of gaming tonight.  Might be a little later again tonight.  I just can't go to bed quite yet.  Some tea?  Perhaps.  And painpills again.  I am pushing my body.  Foot is mostly doing okay, but neck, skull, shoulders are rather tight.  I'll... keep at it.  Goodnight.

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One more thing.  I checked my mortgage.  They did take it, this time.  A day early but that is just fine.  They billed me, illegally, $20 for last month, which was their fault and problem.  Don't work with Freedom Mortgage.  Bad company all around.

Another day out.

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Hopefully that is it for a while.  I have something planned for this weekend.  Other than that, nothing.  

I couldn't wake until around 10:00 this morning.  Had to get a shower, and get out.  Running a bit rough, but running.  Did get out.  Some shopping and a visit.  Yea.

I did get the freezertop cleared off.  I have some things to freeze, and thaw.  Probably things to remove from the fridge, and probably toss.  I had too much meat thawed, and some of it definitely went bad.  I have to be careful, that stuff is expensive.  Ugh.  I'll check it, to make sure.  Some might be good.  Will see.

Mostly meat bought today.  The burger, at $3.50, required five pound packaging.  So I'll have to repackage that.  All good, I suppose.  Down to two pounds per.  That's plenty of meat, for the week, of that sort.  That, and a three to four pound roast, will easily get me through.  I've been off pork for a while, but saw ribs for $2.50 a pound.  Yea.  I wish I could have grabbed more.  Still, not sure if it's good.  Food has been... questionable, lately.  Even the supposed good stuff.

I did get chicken, as well.  Thighs were $1.29 a pound, as were drumsticks still.  Two of the latter, one pack of the former.  Large packs.  One would last a week, if it's... edible.  I'll find out shortly.  Butter is still nosebleed high.  I don't bother with storebought eggs, of any sort, at this point.  So didn't even look.

Mostly meat.  A bit of dietary sin, but had some, shared the majority out.  All good.  I best get to things.  Had to rest.  The day is... well... another day out.  It's a difficult run these last few weeks.  Doing what I can.  Trying to keep up on things, calls, events, and such.  Tired, very tired.  But... pushing on through.

Have a good one if I don't post again.  Good afternoon.  Dark out there already, or almost?  Winter, you know... it often surprises me even when I know, should know.  Later or goodnight.

A very long, hard, sleep.

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While I am not working as physically hard as I had been.  Remember, that is within my capacity, not yours.  I have been gaming hard.  Trying to get through the game I am playing at it's most difficult level.  And, yes, that is brutal.  I think that is what is causing the shoulders, neck, and skull to be so tight.  I tighten up when trying.  Brutally so.

I do stretches, ever so often, and even try to remember to relax in the moment.  And do.  But the level of intensity, from clenching everything, is so powerful that those things only mildly help.  More?  It's not just one game.  I had three games to get through.  I am at... 1.3 to 1.5 the way through.  At least it eats my time and pushes the limits I can push.

I have a few things to do today.  Had hoped to be up a bit earlier.  I need a shower first.  A few painpills to sort of try to gather and push through.  I did feed Sassy first thing, and switched the new kefir out.  I dumped the old kefir yesterday.  I need to keep fresh jars, for the fermenting kefir and storage kefir.  And make sure I have fresh milk.  If it was poisoned or tainted by others, then it was just left too long on the shelf on week.  If needs be, I'll have to make a milk run in the middle of the week.  Sometimes, yes, that is very difficult.

They say it doesn't go bad.  But it seemed very off.  The new stuff is much better.  It isn't quite there yet.  And it is just now starting to grow.  It takes a few days.  Almost surprised it has gotten this far this quickly.  But the smell, of good, fresh, well fed kefir, makes a huge difference.  I kept some containers, they arrived in.  I will wash those out, then fill them with these newer fresher, kefir grains.  And keep them for this type of situation.  Pulling them out, once in a while, to turn over.

I am trying a few other things, as well.  Including changing where I put the jars as they ferment, probably lowering the volume of kefir grains used for fermentation, and changing the lids out whenever kefir starts building on those.  Live and learn?  They say kefir grains don't go bad.  And certainly not in that period of time.  They just become more sour.  But they said there was a way to sweeten them back, again.  But that just wasn't working.  I honestly think something less than good got in with them.  I could and did... and am... handling it, even as I drink the last of the product from that.  But I wouldn't have offered it to... you know... real humans.  It... would harm you.

Oh, but it is a beautiful sunny day out there!  Oh my.  It is 22 F, I think I say?  Yep, it is.  So, a bit crisp.  But that sun just made me smile on the inside.  I needed a clear day.  I love the mysterious darker days, too, mind you.  And frosty days, especially if the sun shines to fantastic sparkles on all that frost, is sure magical.  But a sunny day, now and again, is a true gift from God in winter.  Even if it comes at the cost of a colder cycle.  Trade-offs are the way of the world, though... I think those come from God Himself.  I suspect He lives within them, as a grace of some sort.  He doesn't change, everything around Him, now, does.  Amen?

I... don't know, folks.  I only suspect.  As I have mentioned.  As well, I have mentioned that I am a very suspicious man... one way, and the other.  Ha!

A few light things.

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An order for ground beef.  Enough to last for a bit.  I will have to repackage it, as for the very good price, five pound packages are required.  Still, it... should work for now.  I'll be picking that up tomorrow.  As well, I will see about a few other specials they have going on.

My mother called.  She is in her new place.  Set up and comfortable.  An uncle and cousin, at least, helped her get moved over.  She sounds good, but a bit tired.  Still, that is all good.  Always good to hear things are going well.  As mentioned, I didn't want to bother her until she was ready to call me.  I'll call her in a few days, just for a quick checkup.  There are five or six from the last home living there now.  A few familiar faces can become a luxury as life changes.  Good to hear.

Tired, but...  I am going to stop turning the kefir I don't trust.  I will just use what is rest, flush the rest.  Just half a quart of that, per day.  And washing the jars as I flush them.  I'll just keep switching the new kefir grains, and checking them.  Hopefully they aren't tainted too.  Ugh.  I did redo those this morning.  And have everything being washed, from that old batch of grains.

A meal, shortly.  Eating meat and kefir, pretty much.  Well, a few veggies from time to time.  Things do seem... better.  Beside a cheap steak, I'm hoping to fry burger, and get it stored, this evening.  Or... not.  So tired.  I pushed a bit hard for a goodly while there for a bit.  Not what you would call pushing, but definitely pushing from my side of the world, events, notions.

It is 29 out there.  Not bad.  Really.  It seems, sounds, cold.  But when you've had it into the negative twenties, ~30 is pretty pleasant.  Perspective.

I did call about a confession.  Not sure if, when, that will happen.  Another message left.  Not sure when I'll hear back, let alone be able to make an arrangement.

I have decided to look for materials through which to learn Spanish.  I gave Japanese a good shot, but realized... I just wouldn't fit there.  Argentina, Ecuador, and perhaps visiting a few places, might work out better.  Either that or Cambodia.  No chance at learning Cambodian, save perhaps on the ground, with a trainer.  Spanish?  Maybe.  Argentina has it's own version, if to a degree they all do.  But... worth getting some of it down, and perhaps working on the exceptions after I get to some level.  Bleh.

Doubts exist, if I will ever get there.  But... there is some possibility.

Well, on with a dinner.  Later.

Couldn't get to bed until midnight thirty or so.

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Waking at 9:30 was a bit of a trick.  But done.  Sassy came up, but ended up just napping with me.  I love the furry runt.  She helps, or joins, as is required.

Oh, my feet had been itching.  Foot spray just couldn't get in past the cuticle spikes or under the nails.  Now that is all clear.  I kept noticing the itch.  But had forgotten I had spray.  Yesterday evening I put two and two together.  Sprayed the feet well.  Figured it would take a week or two for it to clear, and stop itching.  Nope.  Killed the itch then and there.  Still, I have powder too.  Which I will use in the mornings.  And, after every shower and any time I work on my feet, I will spray or powder them again, for a week or two.  Oh my word, it is good to have clear, clean, feet which don't itch.  Can't do much about the changes from freezing to burning, currently.  But I... am trying various things.  One thing at a time.  And, perhaps, some things have to simply be tolerated.  Mostly cured, when on insulin.  But, that isn't available currently.  So... yeah.

It was 25 F, when I checked perhaps half an hour ago.  I was too tired yesterday, and relaxed, to do much.  Today may be similar.  Though, today, I will try to do a few small things.  A call, about confession.  Some dishes.  Cleaning the freezer top before dishes though... and clearing first before even that.  Mostly sorted, just a bit more.

Perhaps laundry.  Yes.  I need to get some shirts and pants arranged and ready.  Ugh.  Always something.  I did turn over the new kefir grains today.  Accidently put them in with raw milk.  Too early, had to drain that off.  Might kill them.  I am hoping, by this Saturday or Sunday, the new grains will be ready.  Can't be sure.  Will find out.

Some reading, this evening.  Just a bit.  Promised.  Other than that?  Today is going to be a day of ease.  Between working, the pedicure, the broken foot still having some issues, and no medicine, I... have to take some downtime.  Next week, I am hoping, I'll be back on top of things.  

The broken foot is still rather impressively swollen again.  Though, no pain.  So, I really think that was a good thing.  It'll take a day or week to get that sorted out.  Will possibly do that every time I go in, for that, for a number of months.  I heal well, but... there are some limits.  As long as their is no pain, I don't worry about the swelling.  And, I have trick to manage that.  If I am just letting it be swollen for a while, hoping it is a healing thing.  I will begin compressing it, again, next week, if it doesn't reduce in size on it's own.  For now I'll let it... do it's thing.

Have a good morning.  Later.

I forget...

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Sometimes they respond.

Right, wrong.  Women are purely poetic, when they aren't purely pragmatic.  Doesn't seem to be ought else to them, if that is enough, in their times?  Thin, at times.  But... not all soups should be stews?

For the last few days, a rider.

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Not sure... which one.  Digging deeper, hitting bone.  Or... such.

Blogs reviewed.  Forming a pattern?  I think so, a single, another single, and a collection.  But... with... hints and tips.  Though, not... from that one?

One that may be from that one.  But does she read here?  Couldn't be?

And... some others... from other blog posts.  I didn't keep those on hand, as I was trying to ignore.  If you don't like the message, or think it's someone joking, or pushing, just... ignore.  If it continues, and your proverbial ears begin to bleed, then put it out, give it a chuckle, and leave it where it is.  Which... my proverbial ears are ringing, and bleeding, at this point.  Ah, some of the singles.

Checking is... very low?

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I had to look around.  See why.  Ah.  I see.  I usually pay a certain card down, then use it.  For amazon orders.  But, this month?  I paid it down.  I then ordered.  Usually it doesn't show up as having been used for a while.  But, this time, it looks like they laid claim to the funds almost immediately.  I guess, since this and the last balance was nearly the same, I assumed it hadn't been paid, so paid it again.

Sure, it will short me a bit this month.  Okay, I get that.  Should be able to survive.  And, if something comes up, I have that card completely free?  Well, I think $20 or $30 wasn't immediately pulled.  But.. that gives me room.  Plus, I'm paying off other things, and putting money in savings.  Tight.  I'll try to live in that narrow window, survive the month.

I have walkaround money, enough for four or five meals, perhaps.  Dairy was paid.  Things are... looking very good.  Well, better.  Still digging out of a few holes, but not doing too poorly, for the choices I made.  Though they were choices I would make again.  Inflation is not flattening.  The interest rates are rising just enough to kill savings interest, in the crunch between it and inflation.  Worst comes to worst, revolving goes away.  As long as I have food, and a house, I'm not worried.

Bloody nose today.  I think I have just run too many days in a row.  Or nearly in a row.  I am exhausted beyond my ability to do much today.  Feet still feel great.  Legs too.  I was a bit concerned, whether the broken foot would come around and bite me.  Nope.  A bit more swollen, but I think that's a good thing.  It is breaking up what was knotted and clotted, but without causing pain.  Not even down underneath my pain resistance.  No nausea, feverishness, or such.  I have healed well.

The woman who did the work was telling me her mother broke her foot.  It took six months for it to even begin healing.  And, a year and an half later, it is still in rough shape.  So... she... was impressed with my healing.  Then again, if she chose to believe some of my stories, she knows I am... a bit unusual in those ways.  Most people don't tolerate even a bit of draino.  Though the luck, too?  How many people have put a loaded shotgun to their head and pulled the trigger?  *grins*  Well, and are writing about?  So... yea, I... tell my tale.  Believed?  Not my problem.  But, I think she does.  Seen... a few things.  The current level of swelling of the broken foot, for example.  And how much bigger it got during the process.  As I mentioned though, a good thing.

Oh, and she remember that my feet were size 12 last time I saw her.  And noted that they are 16's now.  Something about some of this is... strange to her.  But... interesting.  Or some such.

I called my brother this morning.  He didn't answer, which is fine.  I left a message letting him know I wasn't asleep, just busy, yesterday when he called.  

About to warm the last of the roast beef.  Had kefir, then a berry kefir, earlier.  I do like that stuff.  The new kefir grains were flipped.  But I just tossed the kefir from it.  First, it was watery.  Second, it smells like storebought milk.  It'll be a few days to week before it is ready.

It is up to 30 out there.  It seems like there is some melting up front.  Strange.  Must be the temp and a bit of the sun, even if it is rather cloudy out.  Just enough of each.  Not thawing anywhere else.  Well... on to... not much.  Oh, I want to add tarragon to the beef.  That's... tasty.  Later.

Ah, remembered.

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I tracked down numbers, yesterday, for a few floral services in the area.  I suspected they were closed.  Remembered to check today.  Good, good.  One is a bit more expensive, out of the box.  The other costs more for delivery.  Still, now I have a way to send mom something, from time to time.  For a reason, or holiday... or just because.

Wasn't there... Yes, there was something else.  But it's too late today.  Tomorrow.  Overwhelmed with things to do!  I... should make a list.  Or several lists.  Keep them... somewhere hereabouts.  A list for things for the day, and tomorrow... plans, goals.  A list for more short to medium term.  As money goes.  And, some longer time-line things, a list for that.  Then, try to keep them in some order.  Though if something becomes low hanging fruit, take it a bit ahead of schedule.  Yea.  I... need to start doing that.  The trick is to keep those lists close, without losing them.  Ugh.

Still, two things done today.  Another day out, of four out of the last five, six, days?  That's... a lot for me.  I need to rest.  I really do.  It's winter, for heaven's sake!  I should be hibernating!  It is just now down to thirty, but was warmer, by a lot, earlier.  I didn't see any warmer readings, but it was warm out there (comparatively).  And there was a lot of melting going on.  So... yea.  Actually, glad I got out today, just for that.

Well...  Getting near bedtime.  Having to come down a bit.  Looks like I missed a call from my brother.  I'll... see about managing that tomorrow too.  And another call.  Oh... and I did create a list, and there... is a place for it.  If... I don't forget.  Yea.  I... have two things on it.  Hmm, could add one more.  A short term list, for now.  It's a start.

Good day, afternoon, and goodnight.

Out, again.

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Pedicure.  My former pedicurist is still there.  I told her I had called three times, about every six months... never got a response.  Which I have.  Anyway, today was the day.  She will be leaving soon, though.  Found a guy, moving in, a bit distant.  So, yeah.

I'll get a few more appointments before then.  All good.  She really worked my feet today.  Cleared the backup, cleaned, everything but the polish.  Yea, no.  I just... like it stripped of dry skin, cleaned under the nails, and having those trimmed.  Well, and the cuticles.  Otherwise cuticles become razor blades.  I can trim the nails, but the cuticles... I can't do well.  Those are what are dangerous to my feet.

We had a good talk.  Caught back up.  It was very good.  My feet feel like a million bucks.  She was actually impressed with how well I have been keeping them.  Still, there was... a lot of room for improvement.  And it was done.  My feet look human again!  Or... as... close to human as they get.

I had thought to stop at the store, after.  No, just... that relaxed me far too well.  I thought about dinner out, but then remembered I have good food at home.  I had thought I would fry some burger, and have some of that with salad.  But, again, no.  Far too relaxed.  Legs have become jelly!  In... the best ways possible albeit.  I have leftover roast, so that is in the oven with the last pack of fresh mushroom, butter, water, salt, and pepper.  Oh, and some garlic powder... not garlic salt, just... garlic.  That... should be quite good.

I feel like I am floating on clouds.  My feet literally feel lighter, but that can't be.  But it sure feels like it.  So relaxed I'm about to crash.  I'll stay awake long enough to eat, then probably head on to bed.

Oh, I didn't mention I had broken my foot.  I wanted to see if it would hurt a little, or a lot.  The swelling increased.  But there was no pain.  I think... the messaging part was exceptionally good for it.  We'll see tomorrow.  But the massage probably broke up things which were... knotted, clotted, closed in.  So very pleased.

I'll get to see her a few more times.  Then... I'll try out who she suggests as a replacement.  See... if another will do.  Never can tell.  Worth a shot, to be sure.  Funny how quick and long it takes to catch back up?  Always... going hither and thither, missing, and then not, but just for a short spot?  Aye.  Good day, and maybe goodnight.

Painpills and a shower.

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Doing well enough.  The headache was managed.  Bones, joints, ligaments, and muscles all seem calmed.  The shower was a nice finishing touch to managing pain.  Warm.  Some days the water doesn't seem to be able to be warm enough.  Today was not among those days.  Though neither was it too hot.  Can tell by skin color.  If I pop out, and I'm red?  I... was insensitive to the heat.  Too sensitive, a whiter shade of pale.

Though, sometimes, I am those colorations even if I don't take a shower.  So... so it goes, I guess.  A redman, regular man, and ghost.

Things to do?  I suppose.  Best get going.  Oh, best get the litter box sorted.  Odd, but she won't use the other litter box, no matter how full her main (only) box is.  It shouldn't be too bad.  I am sure I cleared it last night.  And, she doesn't usually go overnight.  Just in the morning, after food.  And, through the day, as she gets fed her little meals and snacks.  Probably every other feeding time.

I... really don't pay attention.  I just happen to notice by when to clear, clean, so as not to waste my time looking for those golden cat gifts at the wrong times.  :)

Well, on with things I suppose.  It's a good day.  Still dark, obviously winter, rather chill if not frigid.  All good.  Good day.

Late.

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Went to bed late, too.  Looks like I am sleeping about twelve hours, here in the winter.  Not much choice, either.  Been trying to wake earlier, it just isn't possible.  I was awake, obviously, until about 20:30 last night.  My neck has a terrible kink in it.  Gaming too intently yesterday.

Having a kefir, first thing.  Well, second thing.  Sassy got fed first thing.  She worked hard to wake me this morning.  A bit... too much.  But, I wanted to be up, and she wanted food.  So, she pestered me pretty intently.  I worked with her, as able.

It is dark out there.  Not so cold, at 25.  Still, that isn't exactly warm.  And, there is a feel to it that gives an even colder touch to out there.

A few plans for the day.  Not sure I can get to everything.  We'll see.  But, first, to wake up!  Ugh, it is such a rough morning.  Later.

Solid headache.

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Oh well.  But, the neighbor son the second was by, and plowed the drive.  I did thank him.  Offered him money too.  Just won't take it.  Trying to think of something to keep on hand.  I don't want soda, I'd drink it.  But... something.  A can of fruit seems okay, but that would get boring.  I'm thinking.

I did get kefir reset, and the new kefir grains started.  I didn't do more dishes than that.  I probably won't do much else.  The game is killing me.  So I'm going to stop playing until I can relax a bit, get ready again.  It's cold, but not so deeply cold as it has been.

Hmm, 18:10.  I planned to be to bed earlier.  I'll get on to bed shortly.

I had some of the roast earlier.  That is it for food.  Roast and half an onion I baked in with it.  Just one glass of kefir today.  I'd like a can of fruit.  That would work.  Then on to bed.  I keep checking for what's on prime, but keep coming up empty handed.  I will just stop bothering at this point.

Sunday, right?  As I wake at night, I keep thinking it is Tuesday, Wednesday, even Thursday.  Losing my place in time.  All good.  I just have to check a calendar more often when time gets strange.

My mother called me.  Though I think I mentioned that?  She is already packing.  Will be moving soon.  All good.  And, as mentioned as well, I found floral services in her area.  Affordable?  Who knows.  I guess I will find out.  I like the old girl.  Mostly.  Like?  Well, love yes, but... we don't always like each other.  It's just how it goes.  Do our best though.

Goodnight.

Not much?

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Nothing on the list.  But when I went out, a few hours ago, to check the temp, I noticed the snow.  It was coming down heavy and fast.  Probably an inch out there.  Fluff, but a good bit of moisture out there, in it.  So, I got to it.  I cleared ten feet out from the garage, opened up the back porch area, shoveled a short path to the front sidewalk, and cleared that sidewalk and the front porch.  Not much, but... a bit.

I gamed for a while.  Then, went to check the temp again.  Yep, more snow.  This time probably between two and four inches, total, but just two and some inches where I had cleared.  So, back to it.

I had wondered if it was shoveling or kidneys hurting me in the back.  Now I am certain.  Last time it didn't hurt right away.  This time, it hurts now.  Check.

I've been trying to speak with my mother.  She just isn't answering the phone.  I need to know where... what town... she is moving, and when.  I've called twice.  Perhaps they are moving already?  Though I didn't think it was until April?  Though, if she has a place, maybe she is getting out sooner?  Or, perhaps, they are having a goodbye celebration?  Don't know.  She isn't answering her phone though.

My brother texted me the other day.  A prize puzzle thing.  A gift.  He was just telling me about it.  I have doubts about prizes, for solving puzzles, I don't care what they say.  But, if the puzzle is a challenge, that is good enough.  And, given freely?  Check.  I'm... a bit of a partypooper, I suppose.  But I'm just not a believer.

The burned hand is better.  It did hurt the day I did it, on through the evening.  I burned a lot while taking the shower.  I did put it in cold water, this time.  As it actually, oddly, hurt.  It was only 415 F, and just a high carbon pan, not the chrome handled one.  Must be getting old.  But, all good today.  It did leave a bit of a mark, but no blisters or such.

Weary.  But, hoping to stay awake until 16:30 to 17:30.  Maybe do some dishes.  I moved the quart jars to a rough rinse.  will rinse them again, just a bit, then put the new kefir grains and storebought milk all together in them, to start getting good kefir going again.

I may also see if I can get some help seeking the septic tank.  I don't want to have to be charged a bundle for finding that, on top of pumping and inspecting.  Should be able to get to that this coming month.  If it's warm enough, and if I have found the tank.  He suggested adding access to it.  At first I didn't think so, but now that I realize there may be screens which may need cleared, yes.  If those are in there, then maybe.

Yes, it's still snowing.  But it didn't fill back in what I had done before I finished.  Why shovel, if someone may be getting to it before too long, with equipment?  I... guess... just to not be dead?  To try, to do some of it, to... give it a shot?  Pretty tired today.  may end up taking a few days down.  I've pushed well beyond my usual hard limits.  Surprised I haven't conked out for a few days or week.  Yet.

Forgot to post.  Anyway, I did find out when, and where, she is going.  Made a call that got me headed in the right directions.  Nothing is probably open today.  So... all good.  At least I have that managed, to this point.  Later.  Or, maybe, goodnight.

Up late.

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I think it was about 8:30 when I woke.  Why so late?  I didn't go to bed all that late, maybe 22:30?  Then again, here in deep winter, I sleep twelve hours.  So that isn't all that bad.  Even so, usually, for one late night, or two, I can retain the same wake up.  So, what was it, why?  Ah... because I have been out of the house three days in a row.  Might not be much to you.  Absolutely fries my system.  

Still, all good.  If probably a first in... since Burning Man?  Though, even with that, I could sleep, and did, often.  Though the heat, and adrenalin from being near strangers, occultists, pagans, and so-called atheists helped.  If, to be honest, being around coreligionists, Catholic and Christian, would be... just as unnerving for me.  Just... the way it goes.  I don't fit, here, anywhere.

It is ten F, out there.  And feels colder.  A bit foggy, to start, overcast as well so that won't burn off quickly.  Unless it just did.  :p  Never can tell.  Slept like a king.  Warm, deep at times, good.  Dreamed, of many things.  A few things troubling, a few things pleasing, and at least one caused me to wake up due to my deep-boned laughter.  Not sure what was so funny, but just the memory of the laughter brings a broad grin and glimmer to my eyes.  It... must have been good.

Trying to pull to wakefulness.  Just a bit difficult this morning.  A bit of kefir to start things.  Love that stuff.  The goal, today, is to clean the freezertop, after clearing the last bit.  Then hit dishes.  Resetting kefir, and starting the new stuff as well.  Then something to eat.  I'm thinking of frying the burger, putting most of it away, and having some with salad.

Oh, but first I may try to make ranch dressing.  If I have the spices, or enough of them.  If I am missing one, or the other, oh well.  If I can make that dressing, I'll make a large base sort.  Use some of it for ranch, reserve half for blue cheese dressing.  Which... I'll have to figure out, obtaining a block of blue cheese, to crumble in, this week.  As those get used up, I'll make an italian dressing, or balsamic dressing.  Or, maybe both.  Ah, but first I have to attempt to make homemade mayo.  Ugh.  Still... I'd like to try to push that through.  I'm only successful some of the time.  But, mayo, when homemade, with a good olive oil, is fantastic.

I know how it works, but it's as good, and speedy, as I can do.  Fresh eggs, and good olive oil on hand.  Should... do.

But, first, as mentioned, I need to wake.  I suppose, as I am doing things in the kitchen one way, I can do other things.  Cleaning, clearing, prepping the recipes, cooking, and all.  A rest every half hour to hour.  I've pushed these last few days.  Not sure how much blood I can get out of the stone that is my heart.  Will... see.

Later.