The day got better as I went along. I did finish the bathroom and the kitchen. I am still neatening a few rooms, reading and re-reading the climbing and reloading books I have, practicing with knots, and just tinkering. Still not much energy, but much more than during previous dives.
It is storming out, to a minor degree. If it really lets loose, I will probably go out and watch it for a while. Thunderstorms are some of my favorite entertainment. I will just cup over my pipe should I decide to get a free shower. Fun, I tell you.
Supper was simple, but pleasant. Though there are now dishes to do. I had not realized I had not eaten until I got started with preparations. It was a non-meat casserole I prepared on the stove. I think I could have added fresh spinach leaves into that and it would have been very good. Maybe peas too or as an alternative. I am trying to see where I can add some vegetables in without complicating my processes. Fresh ground pepper, several cheeses, and pasta leaves the door fairly open for additions.
I might offer the Q.O.D. a portion of the last pan of enchiladas, though they may feed her before they send her home. She has slowly been making friends in that group, and after three years, I am sure it will be even more difficult for her to part ways with her play mates this year. Then again, she might be quite ready to go. It is difficult to say with her. I do not know if she will be too tired for a coffee, but she usually does not like to go straight home after these things. She actually hates going back to her cage, so she has put it and I have termed it.
I should call my mother tonight. I have not heard from her in the last few days, and I am curious if she is still doing as well. She was getting rain the last time I called, but they needed it, so she was happy. I do not know if we need it, but I am happy with it.
Friday, June 22, 2007
Dark Days, Darker Knights
It seems I am at my low ebb. I have not been able to get things going for three days. I have missed church. I have not be able to get up at the time the alarm(s) go off. Many of my plans are failing. And at times, I have been a bit glum, nothing outright disastrous though I think it brings back some of what gets me hated online. People do not want to read the depths of doom. They do not want to think things are irreparable, they like to believe in a hope here, they want to believe they have a chance. Well, they are irreparable and you do not have a chance. Though going into detail really does not help, either. So, I stopped to think about it today. I am just temporarily sunk. Amazingly, I am still fashionably functional. I still get a few things done. And, really, I am doing a ton more than dragging my butt from bed to the computer chair for a few hours at a time before needing, craving, suckling on sleep again like a bowery bum on the last cigarette on the planet, only to find it is not a cigarette and neither of us finding satisfaction no matter how much we try to draw from our perspective succulent.
So, what to do. Well, not much. I will just keep struggling until I can get my legs under me again. It is interesting to see this thing from the position the medications allow. It really is bigger than I am, and swallows me whole just as a whale might. After which, I have about as much power to control my direction and depth as would be expected, on the grander scale. At least now I have a little chemical torch in the dark wet space and can prepare a bit for the dives, brace for the turns, keep from being mentally lost in the fog of darkness, and keep from being so nauseous on the trip. I guess I have to admit, beyond a doubt, I am a cripple. If you saw me, especially now, you too would have a very hard time believing what I just wrote. Especially given that I am the author as well. On the upside, I will be seeing my doctor in a week and a half and will have more information for him. Maybe he knows and realizes it is not reparable, I have pondered that. Doctors do not always truth if they believe no good will come of it. He is a medical doctor, I do not believe in psychiatrists. They were trying voodoo on me and I kicked their sorry butt’s out of my house. Medical doctors have been a hair better, at least when they tossed away the voodoo hoodoo from the reports and started working with me on real solutions.
I did get some more cleaning done. I finished the tougher parts of the bathroom (for me). The shower really needed cleaned and the toilet got a good working over. As well, the floor in the area was well cleaned. My mother showed me that the double shower curtains I use can be just put in the wash. It does work. I still have to put them back up, and lay another toilet rug down. I like have something warm and fuzzy under my toots whilst I toot. Something to read does not hurt either. More information than you need, but while I was at it… Oh, I got a little more done in the kitchen. I have a few things I would like to get done today, since I am pretty much housebound it seems. Well, it is an improvement, both in health and in house.
I woke up last night, lightly lathered in sweat. My legs and feet where “on fire” even though they were cold to the touch and blanketed. Putting them out in the 68 F air did not help enough, though it did feel better. I also had a nail in the head splitting headache. It was 2:44 am. I decided to check my vitals and glucose, 143/93, pulse 87, glucose 104. I think (know) I have three different reasons for night problems. I know only what one of them is. It may have been a minor part of last night, but not the major part. My bed would have been soaked, my muscles tense to the point of being sore, I have even hurt myself in those dreams, tore up my foot a bit just by muscle tension last time. Those have been modified with a little help from the VA, they are less frequent and less severe. I was never in combat. I was peace time. I was, for all it matters, a stateside cook or something. I cannot explain those dreams, daymares, or feelings. Blast it, I do not always understand this stupid life I have. But the therapist who works with this junk would not even see me until I had tested out for it, with several different forms of testing. So, I have it, we just do not know why. Yea, I keep going over this. Have you ever had a sore tooth, and your tongue flicks to it every time it acts up or hurts? You know it hurts more when you flick it with your tongue, but you just cannot stop that tongue? Yea, so be quiet, I do not like it either. And, on a scale of 1 to 10, I will bet your unhappiness rates at a 1. Mine does not fit that stinking chart. On the upside, should I ever need to release that rage, I will shatter stupid evil mortals who stand before me like glass. Even containing it, I have to be careful with fools. I dream of such things you would not want to see. I feel such things that you could not tolerate. I am war. RAGEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
It takes a lot of juice just keeping that in my mortal frame, sometimes. Just knowing it is there is as frightening as you have a couple of cocked and locked machine guns sitting around in your house. The machine is ready, anybody could trigger it, few could control it. Oddly, a woman’s soothing voice does it for me. Or, at least would keep her out of the target acquisition line up unless the beast knew her for a traitor or death dealer. It is not stupid.
Damn, I should not talk about this junk. I probably should erase that, but. No, I have tried not to hide, I will not hide here. Neither my ideas, happiness, pains, life, or feelings. I have been as honest as I can, even if just in the moment, here. Yea, I usually regret it. Tough. And personally, I do not care what you think, believe, or “feel” about this. You want to call me a liar, do it to my face. I will give you my address.
Oh, I pick up the Obfussticator tomorrow. I am sure she will be about as happy to be home as I will be to have her home. Yes, a few more weeks in the wild for that feral cat and everybody would probably be happier. I usually try to spend some money on her outings each year. I have not so far, but I would like to plan a trip for late summer or early fall for camping, her canoeing, and me some fishing and swimming. First, I know she loves and needs her outings like a flower needs sunshine. Second, I know I like her better when she gets back, she is a happier woman. And third, not one single other person on this planet loves her and helps her in her ways. I guess I am surrogate family. That is what and all I have, so I understand. She is still a nag.
So, what to do. Well, not much. I will just keep struggling until I can get my legs under me again. It is interesting to see this thing from the position the medications allow. It really is bigger than I am, and swallows me whole just as a whale might. After which, I have about as much power to control my direction and depth as would be expected, on the grander scale. At least now I have a little chemical torch in the dark wet space and can prepare a bit for the dives, brace for the turns, keep from being mentally lost in the fog of darkness, and keep from being so nauseous on the trip. I guess I have to admit, beyond a doubt, I am a cripple. If you saw me, especially now, you too would have a very hard time believing what I just wrote. Especially given that I am the author as well. On the upside, I will be seeing my doctor in a week and a half and will have more information for him. Maybe he knows and realizes it is not reparable, I have pondered that. Doctors do not always truth if they believe no good will come of it. He is a medical doctor, I do not believe in psychiatrists. They were trying voodoo on me and I kicked their sorry butt’s out of my house. Medical doctors have been a hair better, at least when they tossed away the voodoo hoodoo from the reports and started working with me on real solutions.
I did get some more cleaning done. I finished the tougher parts of the bathroom (for me). The shower really needed cleaned and the toilet got a good working over. As well, the floor in the area was well cleaned. My mother showed me that the double shower curtains I use can be just put in the wash. It does work. I still have to put them back up, and lay another toilet rug down. I like have something warm and fuzzy under my toots whilst I toot. Something to read does not hurt either. More information than you need, but while I was at it… Oh, I got a little more done in the kitchen. I have a few things I would like to get done today, since I am pretty much housebound it seems. Well, it is an improvement, both in health and in house.
I woke up last night, lightly lathered in sweat. My legs and feet where “on fire” even though they were cold to the touch and blanketed. Putting them out in the 68 F air did not help enough, though it did feel better. I also had a nail in the head splitting headache. It was 2:44 am. I decided to check my vitals and glucose, 143/93, pulse 87, glucose 104. I think (know) I have three different reasons for night problems. I know only what one of them is. It may have been a minor part of last night, but not the major part. My bed would have been soaked, my muscles tense to the point of being sore, I have even hurt myself in those dreams, tore up my foot a bit just by muscle tension last time. Those have been modified with a little help from the VA, they are less frequent and less severe. I was never in combat. I was peace time. I was, for all it matters, a stateside cook or something. I cannot explain those dreams, daymares, or feelings. Blast it, I do not always understand this stupid life I have. But the therapist who works with this junk would not even see me until I had tested out for it, with several different forms of testing. So, I have it, we just do not know why. Yea, I keep going over this. Have you ever had a sore tooth, and your tongue flicks to it every time it acts up or hurts? You know it hurts more when you flick it with your tongue, but you just cannot stop that tongue? Yea, so be quiet, I do not like it either. And, on a scale of 1 to 10, I will bet your unhappiness rates at a 1. Mine does not fit that stinking chart. On the upside, should I ever need to release that rage, I will shatter stupid evil mortals who stand before me like glass. Even containing it, I have to be careful with fools. I dream of such things you would not want to see. I feel such things that you could not tolerate. I am war. RAGEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
It takes a lot of juice just keeping that in my mortal frame, sometimes. Just knowing it is there is as frightening as you have a couple of cocked and locked machine guns sitting around in your house. The machine is ready, anybody could trigger it, few could control it. Oddly, a woman’s soothing voice does it for me. Or, at least would keep her out of the target acquisition line up unless the beast knew her for a traitor or death dealer. It is not stupid.
Damn, I should not talk about this junk. I probably should erase that, but. No, I have tried not to hide, I will not hide here. Neither my ideas, happiness, pains, life, or feelings. I have been as honest as I can, even if just in the moment, here. Yea, I usually regret it. Tough. And personally, I do not care what you think, believe, or “feel” about this. You want to call me a liar, do it to my face. I will give you my address.
Oh, I pick up the Obfussticator tomorrow. I am sure she will be about as happy to be home as I will be to have her home. Yes, a few more weeks in the wild for that feral cat and everybody would probably be happier. I usually try to spend some money on her outings each year. I have not so far, but I would like to plan a trip for late summer or early fall for camping, her canoeing, and me some fishing and swimming. First, I know she loves and needs her outings like a flower needs sunshine. Second, I know I like her better when she gets back, she is a happier woman. And third, not one single other person on this planet loves her and helps her in her ways. I guess I am surrogate family. That is what and all I have, so I understand. She is still a nag.
Thursday, June 21, 2007
Well, a few things scratched off the list.
I did not make it to church today. I headed that way, but traffic was both heavy and slow, my usual parking area was full, and before I could get to another area, I was past the start time. I just do not enter church (or school) late. Every time I go, someone comes in late. And, just maybe, that is correct. All I can say is that I will not do that.
While I was out, when returning to the cave, I decided to pick up a five gallon bucket and a filet knife. I went ahead and purchased three buckets, as I am going to be seeing if I can buy wheel weights from local tire shops. I have heard that a bucket to exchange for the one full of weights and $15 dollars could very well get me in all the lead I need for producing my own bullets (and some fishing weights and weighted hooks as well). So, several tasks done. It was raining so I decided not to go fishing this evening.
I am still pretty tired today. I had to nap from 4:00 to 6:00 pm. I did get a little cleaning done, and hope to do a bit more. I also cooked the rice and stored it. I left a few spoonfuls in the pan, added beans, several of my favored spices, and a little cheese. It made for a good meal. It is nothing fancy, for certain, but three of those little tacos did hit the spot. I really do not even feel hungry in spite of the small meal and only a tuna sandwich for lunch. I am thawing some beef, a couple of rib-eyes and a pound of hamburger. But that will just have to wait, as I am trying to go without meat on Fridays. It is an old tradition, one that does not seem to be in play so much these days. But I like it. For a heavy meat eater it is a sacrifice.
My last shipment of gear for the month arrived today. Several pair of swimming trunks, rock climbing shoes, some hiking Smart-Wool socks, and a wool sweater at too low of a price to pass up. I have noted that as I search for gear, I have started becoming much better at seeing when a very good sale is on compared to when a bluff is being played. The difference between a sale on street prices and a sale on msrp is huge, and laughable now. The shoes are definitely not the most comfortable things I have worn. I am told that this is as it should be. They will stretch a bit, and I will have to do my part and deal with it. So, I am wearing them from time to time. Oh, I also purchased some chalk and a chalk bag. These climbing pieces will carry into tree climbing, or at least according to the majority of what I am hearing and reading. And this is the minimal practical gear for the rock wall.
Next month, I will be holding onto every nickel in my inventory. I will probably pay for a bus pass so as to avoid gas and parking costs as much as possible. Now that I am more active, I can even take it to church. Before, I had difficulties with this as I had no idea what to do for the hour and some between when the last bus that would allow me to be on time to church dropped me at the curb and when the actual church service started. I feel confident enough that I will not become too exhausted that I will feel the need to rush home, and more, I think I could enjoy walking around downtown. Window shopping all the things I can never have and maybe a few I can. Perhaps I could go to some of the sporting goods stores and hear whoppers, check out gear, and maybe in time describe some of my exploits. Who knows, I might even find a climbing partner, group, or association. Life has a lot of surprises for me when I put on my boots and socialize a touch. Well, that and I enjoy people who enjoy what they do, or exploring, are in the know, or even just interested in chatting a bit. I think, too, as I am shaping up and becoming active, I am less intimidated by crowds. The crowds on the bus can be a snarly nasty bunch, though it is a random group every time. Some surprises I would just rather do without. Still, I do need to start counting my coin much more closely and I think I am up to the task.
While I was out, when returning to the cave, I decided to pick up a five gallon bucket and a filet knife. I went ahead and purchased three buckets, as I am going to be seeing if I can buy wheel weights from local tire shops. I have heard that a bucket to exchange for the one full of weights and $15 dollars could very well get me in all the lead I need for producing my own bullets (and some fishing weights and weighted hooks as well). So, several tasks done. It was raining so I decided not to go fishing this evening.
I am still pretty tired today. I had to nap from 4:00 to 6:00 pm. I did get a little cleaning done, and hope to do a bit more. I also cooked the rice and stored it. I left a few spoonfuls in the pan, added beans, several of my favored spices, and a little cheese. It made for a good meal. It is nothing fancy, for certain, but three of those little tacos did hit the spot. I really do not even feel hungry in spite of the small meal and only a tuna sandwich for lunch. I am thawing some beef, a couple of rib-eyes and a pound of hamburger. But that will just have to wait, as I am trying to go without meat on Fridays. It is an old tradition, one that does not seem to be in play so much these days. But I like it. For a heavy meat eater it is a sacrifice.
My last shipment of gear for the month arrived today. Several pair of swimming trunks, rock climbing shoes, some hiking Smart-Wool socks, and a wool sweater at too low of a price to pass up. I have noted that as I search for gear, I have started becoming much better at seeing when a very good sale is on compared to when a bluff is being played. The difference between a sale on street prices and a sale on msrp is huge, and laughable now. The shoes are definitely not the most comfortable things I have worn. I am told that this is as it should be. They will stretch a bit, and I will have to do my part and deal with it. So, I am wearing them from time to time. Oh, I also purchased some chalk and a chalk bag. These climbing pieces will carry into tree climbing, or at least according to the majority of what I am hearing and reading. And this is the minimal practical gear for the rock wall.
Next month, I will be holding onto every nickel in my inventory. I will probably pay for a bus pass so as to avoid gas and parking costs as much as possible. Now that I am more active, I can even take it to church. Before, I had difficulties with this as I had no idea what to do for the hour and some between when the last bus that would allow me to be on time to church dropped me at the curb and when the actual church service started. I feel confident enough that I will not become too exhausted that I will feel the need to rush home, and more, I think I could enjoy walking around downtown. Window shopping all the things I can never have and maybe a few I can. Perhaps I could go to some of the sporting goods stores and hear whoppers, check out gear, and maybe in time describe some of my exploits. Who knows, I might even find a climbing partner, group, or association. Life has a lot of surprises for me when I put on my boots and socialize a touch. Well, that and I enjoy people who enjoy what they do, or exploring, are in the know, or even just interested in chatting a bit. I think, too, as I am shaping up and becoming active, I am less intimidated by crowds. The crowds on the bus can be a snarly nasty bunch, though it is a random group every time. Some surprises I would just rather do without. Still, I do need to start counting my coin much more closely and I think I am up to the task.
Gee, being a rusty iron can be rough.
I was able to wake up this morning, but still only after the second snooze bar push on the reserve alarm clock, the primary having been snoozed through from 7:30 to 8:00 am then shut off and the primary going off at 8:30 am. And I am sluggish. I may be up in time for church. And, I might be able to go target shooting. I ended up not doing so the other day. I helped my landlord fix the garage door which took up the time I would have otherwise used for target practice. It is more than sluggish, I am wiped out right now. And, again, I have a headache though more minor than the one I had yesterday.
Yesterday saw a little house cleaning, some help with the garage door, and little else. Though the beer was good, and fun. I do that so rarely, and almost never that much. Today to get to church, maybe to the range, and get some more housecleaning would be good. I seem to be all out of something. Like I said though, the rest of the week on light duty and begin again on Monday. Probably a hike on some other path, or some off path exploring at the path I have been using. Monday or Tuesday I should get in and be tested for the rock climbing wall. Oh, I forgot to get a fish pail and filet knife. Eventually it will come together.
It is difficult to believe how little, over a two week period, can wipe me out. I can do quite a lot on a single day, and several things over several days, but medium duty over a two week period and one might think I had climbed Mount Everest or something. Maybe everyone is that way, others just push through that. Maybe as I keep pushing, I will get better. I am just totally unsure at this point and at my age. I sure do not know how I did it in my youth. I am thinking or sort of remembering that I brute force pushed through and became exceptionally fit, but was perpetually exhausted. I only kept things going on a type of faith, being that fit, and having mentors and brothers. When that faith was crushed by some things that went on then, I fell and have not been able to recover. And those I had depended on where no longer there, and were a part of the crush, so could not even be pondered as any good their memory could have provided carried with it too much baggage. It is a harsh thing to be naked and alone in such times, even for a brute.
This renaissance of life I am seemingly in, weak as even it is, is not a recovery. It is rocket packs, and even these seem to be flagging. So, I am thinking it is me. If not a bad apple, an anomalous one. Or maybe I was just more prone to these things because of social factors. I can see that if my body is able, it does comply with my will. It is so frustrating because other than some sort of energy disconnect, my body, mind, and will are very potent. The energy is there, somehow and somewhere. As I said, my body and will do not, maybe cannot, access it, and so my body fails to comply with my wants, even to my needs. What is really odd is that my body has not “decayed” more than it has. For the little college I have taken and the very little physical exercise I get, it is still potent. I just do not understand.
I have been drinking only water for a bit now, that and milk, with tea or coffee a few times a week at most. I finally drank the last of the soda I purchased months ago a few days ago. If I restock soda, it will be for guests. I have been eating better, though I suppose I should figure out how to toss some vegetables into my meats and now, beans and rice, other than potatoes. Something green, red, orange, yellow, or other odd color for food, in my opinion. If I do not have to fix them separately, I should be ok with it. I will be cooking up some rice to mix with the beans today. I should also restock some of my spices. I have about half of them, or 20 some, restocked now. This time, I am writing the dates on the “extra” bags, so I will be able to discard the delicate herbs and spices over a year old, hot stuff sooner as it’s strength diminishes very fast. Potency for all drains quickly, but being double air-tight sealed in their individual baggies and then in a rubber gasket pickling metal clasp type of jar, I think most will last that long. But if the spice in the shakers has not been used up by six months, it will be replaced. I will have to wait on the spices, actually. I have too little money left to spend much there right now, especially since I buy them in such a way that I really do not know how much it will be at the register. I should get a list ready, something productive to do while I “recover”. Weird, but talking about food is not making me hungry. Maybe an egg and a few pieces of bacon might be good though. Add a slice of toast and I might enjoy in spite of not being hungry. Well, scratch that. I fast an hour before mass and there is too little time to fix the food.
I have noticed something. As I try to keep my body active, thus tired, my mind does not get lost in the questions which the title of this blog indicates. Oh, there are still a few knocks on “that” door. And I certainly have my pet notions which I allow random access. But most do not, cannot it seems, ramble through my mind unhindered. Nor are their poisons, joys, pleasures, or pains overwhelming, neither from the pets nor from the allowed entrants. At least this I do understand, and appreciate.
Hey, someone out there give me a push start or something, will you? *smile* Nah, you would probably just get a hernia or something and I still would be immobile. *laughs*
Yesterday saw a little house cleaning, some help with the garage door, and little else. Though the beer was good, and fun. I do that so rarely, and almost never that much. Today to get to church, maybe to the range, and get some more housecleaning would be good. I seem to be all out of something. Like I said though, the rest of the week on light duty and begin again on Monday. Probably a hike on some other path, or some off path exploring at the path I have been using. Monday or Tuesday I should get in and be tested for the rock climbing wall. Oh, I forgot to get a fish pail and filet knife. Eventually it will come together.
It is difficult to believe how little, over a two week period, can wipe me out. I can do quite a lot on a single day, and several things over several days, but medium duty over a two week period and one might think I had climbed Mount Everest or something. Maybe everyone is that way, others just push through that. Maybe as I keep pushing, I will get better. I am just totally unsure at this point and at my age. I sure do not know how I did it in my youth. I am thinking or sort of remembering that I brute force pushed through and became exceptionally fit, but was perpetually exhausted. I only kept things going on a type of faith, being that fit, and having mentors and brothers. When that faith was crushed by some things that went on then, I fell and have not been able to recover. And those I had depended on where no longer there, and were a part of the crush, so could not even be pondered as any good their memory could have provided carried with it too much baggage. It is a harsh thing to be naked and alone in such times, even for a brute.
This renaissance of life I am seemingly in, weak as even it is, is not a recovery. It is rocket packs, and even these seem to be flagging. So, I am thinking it is me. If not a bad apple, an anomalous one. Or maybe I was just more prone to these things because of social factors. I can see that if my body is able, it does comply with my will. It is so frustrating because other than some sort of energy disconnect, my body, mind, and will are very potent. The energy is there, somehow and somewhere. As I said, my body and will do not, maybe cannot, access it, and so my body fails to comply with my wants, even to my needs. What is really odd is that my body has not “decayed” more than it has. For the little college I have taken and the very little physical exercise I get, it is still potent. I just do not understand.
I have been drinking only water for a bit now, that and milk, with tea or coffee a few times a week at most. I finally drank the last of the soda I purchased months ago a few days ago. If I restock soda, it will be for guests. I have been eating better, though I suppose I should figure out how to toss some vegetables into my meats and now, beans and rice, other than potatoes. Something green, red, orange, yellow, or other odd color for food, in my opinion. If I do not have to fix them separately, I should be ok with it. I will be cooking up some rice to mix with the beans today. I should also restock some of my spices. I have about half of them, or 20 some, restocked now. This time, I am writing the dates on the “extra” bags, so I will be able to discard the delicate herbs and spices over a year old, hot stuff sooner as it’s strength diminishes very fast. Potency for all drains quickly, but being double air-tight sealed in their individual baggies and then in a rubber gasket pickling metal clasp type of jar, I think most will last that long. But if the spice in the shakers has not been used up by six months, it will be replaced. I will have to wait on the spices, actually. I have too little money left to spend much there right now, especially since I buy them in such a way that I really do not know how much it will be at the register. I should get a list ready, something productive to do while I “recover”. Weird, but talking about food is not making me hungry. Maybe an egg and a few pieces of bacon might be good though. Add a slice of toast and I might enjoy in spite of not being hungry. Well, scratch that. I fast an hour before mass and there is too little time to fix the food.
I have noticed something. As I try to keep my body active, thus tired, my mind does not get lost in the questions which the title of this blog indicates. Oh, there are still a few knocks on “that” door. And I certainly have my pet notions which I allow random access. But most do not, cannot it seems, ramble through my mind unhindered. Nor are their poisons, joys, pleasures, or pains overwhelming, neither from the pets nor from the allowed entrants. At least this I do understand, and appreciate.
Hey, someone out there give me a push start or something, will you? *smile* Nah, you would probably just get a hernia or something and I still would be immobile. *laughs*
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
Bloggers are fools.
I decided on a few beers tonight. Four beers so far, though technically only two (I have big glasses, I hate glasses that do not fit my hand and size). I am listening to the Catholic radio station on my emergency/camping radio. I am trying to figure out how long a minute of cranking really lasts. I probably will check out the solar capacity next time I go fishing. It is actually impressive so far. I cranked for a minute a month or more ago, and it is still working.
It has been quite some time since I had a beer, here at the house, or even out on the town. My favorite place to drink out offers about, well, I do not know, but many beers. They have bottles of European, Asian, and other beer as well as some extremely fine tap beers. I thought about trying them all, and may in time, but never in one night. Even with my capacity, there are time and money limits. I prefer Budweiser, some German beer I never can remember the name of, and most Belgian beers of the monastic style (it is a very interesting brewing process). The Bud and the German beer are pure and purer pilsners, respectively. The Belgian beers are creamy, think a fine latte, or better, a French pressed fresh ground coffee. Or, that is how I see and understand. Nummy.
Well, the garage is back in play. I think I impressed my landlord. What I can do and actually do surprised him. He probably wonders why I am not making some serious money or doing something serious. He probably, though, thinks I am apathetic. What he does not and probably cannot know, is that my apparent apathy is a permanent numbness to the world. Some call it trauma. I have called it accidental transcendentalism. I suggested that to my doctor, a Hindu Indian. I thought he would lift his chin and give a belly laugh. He did not. He thought about it a second, then gave me a side glance, then looked straight at me and said “I think you hit that nail on the head”. Well, I believe it anyway. I think there is only so much a human can experience, know, and do before the flesh means nothing.
Bah, pussy psychology. I believe psychology and modern academia share an insanity that is even worse than mine. They do not care that they do not know. Yet, they believe somehow that they are correct, in spite of denying faith. In other words, they are dead to wisdom. After a recent blessing, I may have to concede that they are not evil in intent even if evil in their ends. What to do with that? I suppose, as the woman I know who has this affliction, prayer. Though, I cannot say I would not send them to nations which abide by their fruits, North Korea, as is, would be the main repatriation station.
I should also say, there are many who think I do not see the sin before me. There are those who think I do not understand. There are those who think being outside of my flesh renders me blind. They just do not understand, yet, what I am, what I know, and what I see. I will not open their minds, most cannot take it. What I see is that some of them do not even see the depth of sin which surrounds them, blinded by their own small parts of it. Neither do they see their grace, should they be humbled by their sin. I will say this once, I do see their sin and grace. It is only those who have no humility whom I see as lost, even in these, I see the edges whereby their sin could be collected, should their fall into eventual humility be caught in the correct collection plate, and with the other gifts, be offered to He who accepts even these, they can yet live.
Ok, I have fed you vampires enough for the night. It is time to find peace, if I can, and as I can even know in what remains of my life, or existence, or whatever it is I seem to remain in. Oh, by the way, my radio is still functioning quite well. Wow, a minute of cranking a month ago stored quite well.
It has been quite some time since I had a beer, here at the house, or even out on the town. My favorite place to drink out offers about, well, I do not know, but many beers. They have bottles of European, Asian, and other beer as well as some extremely fine tap beers. I thought about trying them all, and may in time, but never in one night. Even with my capacity, there are time and money limits. I prefer Budweiser, some German beer I never can remember the name of, and most Belgian beers of the monastic style (it is a very interesting brewing process). The Bud and the German beer are pure and purer pilsners, respectively. The Belgian beers are creamy, think a fine latte, or better, a French pressed fresh ground coffee. Or, that is how I see and understand. Nummy.
Well, the garage is back in play. I think I impressed my landlord. What I can do and actually do surprised him. He probably wonders why I am not making some serious money or doing something serious. He probably, though, thinks I am apathetic. What he does not and probably cannot know, is that my apparent apathy is a permanent numbness to the world. Some call it trauma. I have called it accidental transcendentalism. I suggested that to my doctor, a Hindu Indian. I thought he would lift his chin and give a belly laugh. He did not. He thought about it a second, then gave me a side glance, then looked straight at me and said “I think you hit that nail on the head”. Well, I believe it anyway. I think there is only so much a human can experience, know, and do before the flesh means nothing.
Bah, pussy psychology. I believe psychology and modern academia share an insanity that is even worse than mine. They do not care that they do not know. Yet, they believe somehow that they are correct, in spite of denying faith. In other words, they are dead to wisdom. After a recent blessing, I may have to concede that they are not evil in intent even if evil in their ends. What to do with that? I suppose, as the woman I know who has this affliction, prayer. Though, I cannot say I would not send them to nations which abide by their fruits, North Korea, as is, would be the main repatriation station.
I should also say, there are many who think I do not see the sin before me. There are those who think I do not understand. There are those who think being outside of my flesh renders me blind. They just do not understand, yet, what I am, what I know, and what I see. I will not open their minds, most cannot take it. What I see is that some of them do not even see the depth of sin which surrounds them, blinded by their own small parts of it. Neither do they see their grace, should they be humbled by their sin. I will say this once, I do see their sin and grace. It is only those who have no humility whom I see as lost, even in these, I see the edges whereby their sin could be collected, should their fall into eventual humility be caught in the correct collection plate, and with the other gifts, be offered to He who accepts even these, they can yet live.
Ok, I have fed you vampires enough for the night. It is time to find peace, if I can, and as I can even know in what remains of my life, or existence, or whatever it is I seem to remain in. Oh, by the way, my radio is still functioning quite well. Wow, a minute of cranking a month ago stored quite well.
Your posts won't be automatically entered.
Hey, I thought I should give you all a heads up. Someone posted an ad, and I do not truck such, at all. If they want an add AND I have tried and like their goods AND then they pay me, you bet. I would work something out. Otherwise, keep that garbage off my virtual lawn.
I figured I would go this way, since I usually check my email and blog several times a day. And personally, I hate the word verification and it does not necessarily really help with this. So, forgive the inconvenience, or do not, doesn't confront me none as long as I get my money next payday. But know that is the rule of this land henceforth.
Yours,
DOOM
*growls*
I figured I would go this way, since I usually check my email and blog several times a day. And personally, I hate the word verification and it does not necessarily really help with this. So, forgive the inconvenience, or do not, doesn't confront me none as long as I get my money next payday. But know that is the rule of this land henceforth.
Yours,
DOOM
*growls*
Another day, a thnner wallet? Probably.
I woke up late again. I really struggled to wake up enough to get going but just could not do it, even after giving myself a couple extra hours to sleep after being up late. My landlord called, but I did not hear that. When he rang the bell, twice, I heard that and only got up to check who it was. He had already gone out to the garage, as I later learned. Anyway, I tossed on some shorts and a t-shirt and headed out. He was indeed working on the garage door. And, I see two mistakes I made. First, spring size. Yeah, I sort of guessed that but thought it might work anyway. Second, there was a wire that should have been attached that I had missed. He did thank me for trying, and asked if I would be around if he needs some help. Of course, especially since I failed to just get it done.
Ok, so I have never worked on such a device before. You see, there are extreme disadvantages to not having a dad around who not only does these things and gets your help and teaches. Mothers are good for boys until about 5-8 years of age, I do not know about girls. Then it should be dad who starts taking over. I actually do ok, mechanically, but only because I have some natural aptitude for that, and I have dumb strength.
I have a humdinger of a headache as I wake up. I probably should take it easy for the rest of this week. If my neighbor wants to go fishing, I will do that. And I would still like to try to make it to church these next few days. Other than that, I think I had better just stay home, drink plenty of water, and relax, or at least light duty if I do things. I pushed it hard at my mother’s place, and I pushed it hard when I got back. I have stretched my awake hours and gone out into very hot temperatures. I must have been ok to some degree though as my calves no longer hurt even after yesterdays jaunt, work in the garage (I did not have a ladder, so I used two of my truck stands, extended, to stand on while mucking with the mechanisms), and running around late getting the fish tank and then the water.
This winter I plan to learn cross country skiing. I have heard it is the best method of winter mobility, over snowshoes. In almost any snow, you really cannot just trudge through. As well, with my weight and a full pack weight, I have not found a snow shoe that realistically supports that combination. Yet with skis, there are quite a few lengths and widths which will more surely cover the weight (mass to you yahoos). I am hoping to be in good enough shape to comfortably begin weight training in the winter months too. It would be nice to get up to over double my weight again, but at my age, 400 pounds is probably more reasonable. At least I already have a half dozen (3 regular and assorted special) or more different bars, an excellent bench, dumbbells, this and that, and well over half a ton of straight weights, so no extra expense there. Though it would be good to have a weight lifting partner.
I did not check my weight this morning, but I must say, I am losing some of my belly. I think with the foods I am eating, along with the simple walks, getting out in the sun and heat, fishing, and such, I should really be getting up to speed for some serious out-of-door long term fun. I can do incredible things, if the short term, as is. At least according to my thinking and some people who have been with me at times. I just wonder what I can get up to doing again. Humans are amazing if they do not limit themselves; fear the pain, discomfort, and time expense of conditioning; and have and use a flexible brain. Of course, I have to compare to when I was 19 and I will never ever be there again. That was a whole other world. Then again, I would not like that man/boy if I met him now. I really do despise cocky punks, even if they have earned some of it.
Hmm, what to do though. I might have to get out the .22 rifle and see if the longer range is open. It is sighted in to 30 yards, but I would like to get that to 50 yards. Then I need to practice a bit and see where it hits at 25, 75, and maybe even 100 yards. It is fun to shoot anyway, so it is not like this is work. And, I have several thousand rounds in 500 round lots of various makes as I try to determine the most accurate for my rifle and pistol. Might have too look around for a 5 gallon bucket first though, so that if fishing becomes an interest, I can do that too. Dang, that means a filet knife as well. See what I mean about expenses compounding on anything one might want to do? Just a few dollars here and a dozen there, oh and that and this, and over there, it happens fast and often until the wallet is so hungry it bites the hand that fed it. Well, it is summer and I am finally able. I guess it is just the price of being more functional.
Ok, so I have never worked on such a device before. You see, there are extreme disadvantages to not having a dad around who not only does these things and gets your help and teaches. Mothers are good for boys until about 5-8 years of age, I do not know about girls. Then it should be dad who starts taking over. I actually do ok, mechanically, but only because I have some natural aptitude for that, and I have dumb strength.
I have a humdinger of a headache as I wake up. I probably should take it easy for the rest of this week. If my neighbor wants to go fishing, I will do that. And I would still like to try to make it to church these next few days. Other than that, I think I had better just stay home, drink plenty of water, and relax, or at least light duty if I do things. I pushed it hard at my mother’s place, and I pushed it hard when I got back. I have stretched my awake hours and gone out into very hot temperatures. I must have been ok to some degree though as my calves no longer hurt even after yesterdays jaunt, work in the garage (I did not have a ladder, so I used two of my truck stands, extended, to stand on while mucking with the mechanisms), and running around late getting the fish tank and then the water.
This winter I plan to learn cross country skiing. I have heard it is the best method of winter mobility, over snowshoes. In almost any snow, you really cannot just trudge through. As well, with my weight and a full pack weight, I have not found a snow shoe that realistically supports that combination. Yet with skis, there are quite a few lengths and widths which will more surely cover the weight (mass to you yahoos). I am hoping to be in good enough shape to comfortably begin weight training in the winter months too. It would be nice to get up to over double my weight again, but at my age, 400 pounds is probably more reasonable. At least I already have a half dozen (3 regular and assorted special) or more different bars, an excellent bench, dumbbells, this and that, and well over half a ton of straight weights, so no extra expense there. Though it would be good to have a weight lifting partner.
I did not check my weight this morning, but I must say, I am losing some of my belly. I think with the foods I am eating, along with the simple walks, getting out in the sun and heat, fishing, and such, I should really be getting up to speed for some serious out-of-door long term fun. I can do incredible things, if the short term, as is. At least according to my thinking and some people who have been with me at times. I just wonder what I can get up to doing again. Humans are amazing if they do not limit themselves; fear the pain, discomfort, and time expense of conditioning; and have and use a flexible brain. Of course, I have to compare to when I was 19 and I will never ever be there again. That was a whole other world. Then again, I would not like that man/boy if I met him now. I really do despise cocky punks, even if they have earned some of it.
Hmm, what to do though. I might have to get out the .22 rifle and see if the longer range is open. It is sighted in to 30 yards, but I would like to get that to 50 yards. Then I need to practice a bit and see where it hits at 25, 75, and maybe even 100 yards. It is fun to shoot anyway, so it is not like this is work. And, I have several thousand rounds in 500 round lots of various makes as I try to determine the most accurate for my rifle and pistol. Might have too look around for a 5 gallon bucket first though, so that if fishing becomes an interest, I can do that too. Dang, that means a filet knife as well. See what I mean about expenses compounding on anything one might want to do? Just a few dollars here and a dozen there, oh and that and this, and over there, it happens fast and often until the wallet is so hungry it bites the hand that fed it. Well, it is summer and I am finally able. I guess it is just the price of being more functional.
I will be so ready to sleep.
Who would have guessed? As I was cleaning the tank, I managed to set it just right so that it cracked. I am low on money, tired, and so this. Apparently it says this in the rule book of life somewhere. On the upside, I not only could but I did manage this. I went ahead and bought the tank, purchased some water (which I was going to do anyway), and set it all back up. I put the goldfish that had been in with Rocky into another tank. He did not seem to take to it well, and I am not sure he will make it even after restoring him to the big tank. Well, he is Rocky food anyway. I guess it is the idea. I do not like just giving Rocky fish, I like for him to have to work for it, as close to how he would in the wild. I would ask for no different treatment.
But it is late and I am very tired. I need to shower first. And finish up with the tank. I’m trying to give the goldfish a little time to snap out of it. Perhaps it was just the shock of being chased with the net and relocated. He does seem to be coming around. Five more minutes and he had better be ready.
I have noticed that bloggers are not blogging and news is slow. As a matter of fact, even with me getting out a lot more and doing other things so that I cannot pay as much attention to it all, it seems slow. It must be just about dead out there. I do not really care, I realize I have very little to add these days. I think men have lost to the mechanisms of socialism, so for those few freemen left, it is only a matter of surviving and perhaps passing what we can to our young. The days of despots, kings, royalty, and paupers is once again to be upon us. I am not even sure how much of Christianity has survived, though from what I am seeing, very little of it.
The goldfish did not live, so Rocky is doing what he does best.
But it is late and I am very tired. I need to shower first. And finish up with the tank. I’m trying to give the goldfish a little time to snap out of it. Perhaps it was just the shock of being chased with the net and relocated. He does seem to be coming around. Five more minutes and he had better be ready.
I have noticed that bloggers are not blogging and news is slow. As a matter of fact, even with me getting out a lot more and doing other things so that I cannot pay as much attention to it all, it seems slow. It must be just about dead out there. I do not really care, I realize I have very little to add these days. I think men have lost to the mechanisms of socialism, so for those few freemen left, it is only a matter of surviving and perhaps passing what we can to our young. The days of despots, kings, royalty, and paupers is once again to be upon us. I am not even sure how much of Christianity has survived, though from what I am seeing, very little of it.
The goldfish did not live, so Rocky is doing what he does best.
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
Maybe not as planned, but not bad.
As it turns out, the beans finished cooking in the hot water that they were left in. They turned out pretty good too. One bowl of them just plain and a little warmer than room temperature, one bowl heated up with a little cheese. After getting out and about, I was too tired to mess with making rice. That gives me something to do tomorrow anyway, rice it is.
My garage door is bungled up. I am not completely sure what is wrong with it, but I found a spring which had broken and replaced it. That does not seem to be the whole problem, so I called my landlord and left a message. I actually noted the problem on my way out for my hike today, but did not want to bother my landlord as I thought a replaced spring would be all that was necessary. Another bother, but at least my landlord is a good guy and either fixes or gets things fixed quickly.
The walk was good. I cut my travel time by a third, sat down only twice, and drank a fifth of the water I had previously. I am not really going for time, I just noted the time. Then again, it was at least ten degrees cooler and the sun was shining at such an angle that I saw even less of it today. I then drove to the swimming hole. They do have a changing room, one for each sex. But I realized there is no way to secure my keys or celphone, so I skipped the swim. I will be pondering that the next few days. I also decided against fishing as I do not have anything with which to bring the fish home. Well, I am nearly all set should I decide to do either of those activities. Hmm, maybe there is metal box I could lock with a standard paddle lock then attach to something stationary with a bicycle lock for my security and a five gallon bucket for my fish, oh and a filet knife. No, I do not trust people.
After getting back and fiddling with the garage door, and failing. I then had some supper and chilled a bit. Now Rocky is getting a housecleaning. His tank was pretty nasty, so I thought it was about time. And, I am not going to feed him as often or as much. I will be good and tired tonight though. As a fact, I already am tired but I have a few things to finish up. Maybe I can tear into my house tomorrow. I do hate housecleaning, but I have put it off long enough, and I do like a clean place. If I am feeling up to it, I may take a local hike. I can stay on flat terrain, if I choose, around close. I wonder how much of a difference that will make as my paths out there are very hilly. I do not think I am quite up to going to the trailhead and then taking that path. That would be a fairly long hike just to take a hike. Oh, and I think I have pretty much ruled out hiking on city paths, I just remembered. Women just freak out when they see a man. I am big, but I am also clean cut and mind my own business. If they are that insecure, I say stay home. Oh, hey, I saw squirrels this time. Not a lot of them, but enough. And, I was nearly jogging through there so I was a little surprised I saw any. Yes, hunting season is not too far off, squirrel and deer.
Hmm, I might just have a pipe and a touch of scotch. Nothing says you have done well like a manly pat on the back. Well, after Rocky is happily, or not, back in his cleaned and sorted abode. Yes, I think so. Just a toot will do with this stuff, cask strength and $200 a bottle (I only buy it once a year, so hush, mother).
My garage door is bungled up. I am not completely sure what is wrong with it, but I found a spring which had broken and replaced it. That does not seem to be the whole problem, so I called my landlord and left a message. I actually noted the problem on my way out for my hike today, but did not want to bother my landlord as I thought a replaced spring would be all that was necessary. Another bother, but at least my landlord is a good guy and either fixes or gets things fixed quickly.
The walk was good. I cut my travel time by a third, sat down only twice, and drank a fifth of the water I had previously. I am not really going for time, I just noted the time. Then again, it was at least ten degrees cooler and the sun was shining at such an angle that I saw even less of it today. I then drove to the swimming hole. They do have a changing room, one for each sex. But I realized there is no way to secure my keys or celphone, so I skipped the swim. I will be pondering that the next few days. I also decided against fishing as I do not have anything with which to bring the fish home. Well, I am nearly all set should I decide to do either of those activities. Hmm, maybe there is metal box I could lock with a standard paddle lock then attach to something stationary with a bicycle lock for my security and a five gallon bucket for my fish, oh and a filet knife. No, I do not trust people.
After getting back and fiddling with the garage door, and failing. I then had some supper and chilled a bit. Now Rocky is getting a housecleaning. His tank was pretty nasty, so I thought it was about time. And, I am not going to feed him as often or as much. I will be good and tired tonight though. As a fact, I already am tired but I have a few things to finish up. Maybe I can tear into my house tomorrow. I do hate housecleaning, but I have put it off long enough, and I do like a clean place. If I am feeling up to it, I may take a local hike. I can stay on flat terrain, if I choose, around close. I wonder how much of a difference that will make as my paths out there are very hilly. I do not think I am quite up to going to the trailhead and then taking that path. That would be a fairly long hike just to take a hike. Oh, and I think I have pretty much ruled out hiking on city paths, I just remembered. Women just freak out when they see a man. I am big, but I am also clean cut and mind my own business. If they are that insecure, I say stay home. Oh, hey, I saw squirrels this time. Not a lot of them, but enough. And, I was nearly jogging through there so I was a little surprised I saw any. Yes, hunting season is not too far off, squirrel and deer.
Hmm, I might just have a pipe and a touch of scotch. Nothing says you have done well like a manly pat on the back. Well, after Rocky is happily, or not, back in his cleaned and sorted abode. Yes, I think so. Just a toot will do with this stuff, cask strength and $200 a bottle (I only buy it once a year, so hush, mother).
Hmmm, still tired. I'm getting to it though.
Woke up way late today. Oh well, what can you do. I am taking care of some old business that I had sort of forgotten about. I turned off my home phone as I never use it, and like I want to talk to the telemarketers who still get past the Do-not-call list. I give at the office, really, so, NO. I finally remembered to get my truck taken off insurance, but my company is pretty good about things. She dropped it back to the first of the month. Now to call the Xterra loan company and see what is up with them. They think I might not have the X insured. Well, I suppose some do not insure. Oh, yea, I have to call and see if my city will take tree bits, my landlord got busy on a tree I had not even noticed growing along a fence, somewhere. I like trees but understand one might mess up the fence, which I like more. There is something else, if I can think of it. Two of those things will save be between $55 and $75 a month at least, I believe. Dang my procrastination.
And no, I have not been out on the path yet. Though I am gearing up for it. I just packed my bag with extra clothing in case what I am wearing is too sweaty wet even after drying a bit while I take a possible swim, my swimming trunks, a swimming muscle-t, and a big old beach towel. Plus I put in a few pieces of gear I like to have for no other reason than they are guy tinker toys, though they could come in handy. A multi-tool and a strap-on head light. Get em’ at Wal-Mart, they work just as well and cost 1/5th , 1/20th , maybe even less than the others charge. Plus, they are just swell for guy toys. Oh, I will be taking my fishing gear too. Some of it. I might have to check out the rest of my stuff tonight and see if I can get all of my reels up to snuff.
I decided to start eating a lot more beans and rice. The mix offers all the proteins needed, in combination. And it is cheap protein. I will still have my steak or two a week, and sometimes I will add in hamburger to that mix for flavor and to know I am eating something big and dead, killed for me. Of course, I do add bacon bits to my beans anymore. I guess that counts to some degree. But I am a beef-eater and a bit of a snob about it. I will probably start eating a lot more eggs too, boiled mostly. It is the cheap protein thing, again. Along with the water canned tuna without mayo on (mostly, it’s the main ingredient anyway, I will not go “granola”) wheat bread. I am cooking up a pot of beans while I have been stirring, writing this, and getting business done. I do not think the beans will be done before I go, so I will just finish them later. It is an odd thing, but I never get gas from beans. McDonald’s food, eating some greasy food out, and a passing flu bug are about all that make me gassy. Sort of sad, I was always a bit jealous that my big brother could flatulate at his whim if often my horror. Wow, I mean wow, I still think something is wrong with the boy, possession, some horrible disease with no other symptom, or something. Imagine runny eyes and choking ten times a day, when I did not see him about to die and dodge the area, more if I happened to be slow, lamed up from jumping off the roof wrong, or asleep. Yes, even in his sleep! Memories.
My brother has been on my mind lately anyway. We were typical brothers, other than me being a little freaky. He was older, but I was bigger, after about the age of 4 (we are 10 months apart, technically to the day (of the month)). Mom was on my side up until I was about five, then told him not to take my guff. By then it was too late. I was already bigger and that only went down hill for him from then on. He got into wrestling in his early teens, and I could no longer take him. He never could beat me up, but he could and did pin me until I was too exhausted to wrestle. I suppose I have to say that is winning, but it was a different game. He was the good son, I was the joker and trouble. Though that was mostly just in our family. Given all, we were both pretty good kids. When we got in trouble, it was usually just being in the wrong place with stupid kids. It does happen. We both paid a heavy price for our misdeeds. Mother trucked none of it. I know both of us, when we were very young, stole a candy bar or a toy she knew we could not have afforded. She sent us back to the store, alone, to hand it in and take our punishment. Called to make sure we did. Paddled us good after that, and called it good. A smart mouth got a quick slap, too. Then again, she always let us know she loved us. She supported us when we did well. And she rewarded our excellence as a poor woman can. I will tell you the truth, I would rather have had her humble gifts than all the gold in the world. From her, it actually meant something. It was a sacrifice.
My brother and myself had ups and downs, did not always like each other, and as the younger brother I was a thorn he just could not shake. On the good side, I did not allow others to beat on him. That was my job. I thrashed more idiots than even he probably knows about for that sin. I believe he resented this, as toward the end of our life under the same roof, he would often befriend those I trounced defending him. I know I felt betrayed. When we were preparing to go into the service, I talked him out of joining the Army and into the Air Force (I had plans on being an MP). He did so, but then I got a great chance in the Navy, nuclear power school, I took it. He never did say much, but I felt his disappointment. Though I still think it was the right choice, I still feel bad about that. And, I am quite pleased he did not go into the Army. He went on, finally, to marry and have some children. His wife and I do not get along, probably never will. However, after my mother’s last visit, I think he would be open to see me and show off his little ones. I have been watching them grow up and seeing into his life through pictures for years, and I am hoping it will work out. I had left that door open for the last few years, but he had not seemed interested. I cannot say if mother did something, if something in his life made him stop and think, or a combination of those things, but I will take it. March is a ways off, but it will arrive. It would be nice to have a brother again, nieces will only add to the joy.
And no, I have not been out on the path yet. Though I am gearing up for it. I just packed my bag with extra clothing in case what I am wearing is too sweaty wet even after drying a bit while I take a possible swim, my swimming trunks, a swimming muscle-t, and a big old beach towel. Plus I put in a few pieces of gear I like to have for no other reason than they are guy tinker toys, though they could come in handy. A multi-tool and a strap-on head light. Get em’ at Wal-Mart, they work just as well and cost 1/5th , 1/20th , maybe even less than the others charge. Plus, they are just swell for guy toys. Oh, I will be taking my fishing gear too. Some of it. I might have to check out the rest of my stuff tonight and see if I can get all of my reels up to snuff.
I decided to start eating a lot more beans and rice. The mix offers all the proteins needed, in combination. And it is cheap protein. I will still have my steak or two a week, and sometimes I will add in hamburger to that mix for flavor and to know I am eating something big and dead, killed for me. Of course, I do add bacon bits to my beans anymore. I guess that counts to some degree. But I am a beef-eater and a bit of a snob about it. I will probably start eating a lot more eggs too, boiled mostly. It is the cheap protein thing, again. Along with the water canned tuna without mayo on (mostly, it’s the main ingredient anyway, I will not go “granola”) wheat bread. I am cooking up a pot of beans while I have been stirring, writing this, and getting business done. I do not think the beans will be done before I go, so I will just finish them later. It is an odd thing, but I never get gas from beans. McDonald’s food, eating some greasy food out, and a passing flu bug are about all that make me gassy. Sort of sad, I was always a bit jealous that my big brother could flatulate at his whim if often my horror. Wow, I mean wow, I still think something is wrong with the boy, possession, some horrible disease with no other symptom, or something. Imagine runny eyes and choking ten times a day, when I did not see him about to die and dodge the area, more if I happened to be slow, lamed up from jumping off the roof wrong, or asleep. Yes, even in his sleep! Memories.
My brother has been on my mind lately anyway. We were typical brothers, other than me being a little freaky. He was older, but I was bigger, after about the age of 4 (we are 10 months apart, technically to the day (of the month)). Mom was on my side up until I was about five, then told him not to take my guff. By then it was too late. I was already bigger and that only went down hill for him from then on. He got into wrestling in his early teens, and I could no longer take him. He never could beat me up, but he could and did pin me until I was too exhausted to wrestle. I suppose I have to say that is winning, but it was a different game. He was the good son, I was the joker and trouble. Though that was mostly just in our family. Given all, we were both pretty good kids. When we got in trouble, it was usually just being in the wrong place with stupid kids. It does happen. We both paid a heavy price for our misdeeds. Mother trucked none of it. I know both of us, when we were very young, stole a candy bar or a toy she knew we could not have afforded. She sent us back to the store, alone, to hand it in and take our punishment. Called to make sure we did. Paddled us good after that, and called it good. A smart mouth got a quick slap, too. Then again, she always let us know she loved us. She supported us when we did well. And she rewarded our excellence as a poor woman can. I will tell you the truth, I would rather have had her humble gifts than all the gold in the world. From her, it actually meant something. It was a sacrifice.
My brother and myself had ups and downs, did not always like each other, and as the younger brother I was a thorn he just could not shake. On the good side, I did not allow others to beat on him. That was my job. I thrashed more idiots than even he probably knows about for that sin. I believe he resented this, as toward the end of our life under the same roof, he would often befriend those I trounced defending him. I know I felt betrayed. When we were preparing to go into the service, I talked him out of joining the Army and into the Air Force (I had plans on being an MP). He did so, but then I got a great chance in the Navy, nuclear power school, I took it. He never did say much, but I felt his disappointment. Though I still think it was the right choice, I still feel bad about that. And, I am quite pleased he did not go into the Army. He went on, finally, to marry and have some children. His wife and I do not get along, probably never will. However, after my mother’s last visit, I think he would be open to see me and show off his little ones. I have been watching them grow up and seeing into his life through pictures for years, and I am hoping it will work out. I had left that door open for the last few years, but he had not seemed interested. I cannot say if mother did something, if something in his life made him stop and think, or a combination of those things, but I will take it. March is a ways off, but it will arrive. It would be nice to have a brother again, nieces will only add to the joy.
Monday, June 18, 2007
Another success, another day done.
I made it to the wall and received training. It was not that difficult, but next comes the climbing. I will eventually have to find a partner somewhere, somehow. I still have to go in and be tested on what I was taught, but I can practice the few things here at home that are new. I will also have to learn to belay another person better. I just have to move faster with taking up slack and hand placement, and there are a few other things but those will come with practice.
It was pretty warm in there, but surprisingly it did not bother me too much. I think I could really like this. Of course, and as I said, I have not gotten to the climbing part yet. I will want to get shoes, as the cost of an entry level shoe is $80 or so but with rental being $4, that is just 20 rentals. This first month, I will probably be doing a lot of solo climbing down low, rent the shoes till next month, and maybe find a regular partner or two.
But, dang, I am really doing it. That is great and all. On the downside, my fiscal planning is falling apart. It will be another month before I can get the reloading station. I am picking up little things for my camping excursions and I am getting going on some activities, but it just kills me when I can not plan exactly. Things and activities end up costing a lot more than anticipated, unanticipated expenses creep in as a fact of life, and there really is only so much money, time, and energy, so I am not terribly worried. That I am actually getting to these things is a small wonder.
Tomorrow I believe I will be heading back out to the hunting path. I would like to see where some of those extra paths go. I may have to get up early and go out while it is cool. This time I will remember to take my swimming gear and probably a fishing rod or two. Why waste the drive on a single activity. I do not think I will be able to make church tomorrow, what with a two hour walk, a swim, maybe some fishing, the driving from here to there, and a home shower. However, Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday should be church days, and again Sunday instead of Saturday again this week as I have to pick the Q.O.D. up at between 5:00 and 6:00 pm Saturday. I will just go out Friday late afternoon for my walk and maybe fishing. I am not sure how sore I will be, but two days off is probably good for now. I can afternoon fish on those days I do not walk and wish to go to church for something extra to do. I found some glowing afterdark bait. I did not find the lantern I was looking for, but I did buy a strap-on headlamp which will do for now. It is too late to head out fishing or I would go. I try to be to bed by 10:00pm or at least be simmering down till I can rest, though if I happen to be out fishing and successful, I may make exceptions in the future.
I have been listening to the Andrew Sisters and Cohen a lot lately. Almost exclusively. They are great fun. As well, I think Cohen should be required listening for young gentlemen. I think he conveys a lot of our world in a matter of fact way. Of course, he is a bit artsy, but then what rascal, knight, or troubadour is not? There are a couple of other groups from the Andrew Sisters’ era that I have been thinking about. I cannot remember all the groups’ names but I will eventually find them. Hey, it has been a while.
It was pretty warm in there, but surprisingly it did not bother me too much. I think I could really like this. Of course, and as I said, I have not gotten to the climbing part yet. I will want to get shoes, as the cost of an entry level shoe is $80 or so but with rental being $4, that is just 20 rentals. This first month, I will probably be doing a lot of solo climbing down low, rent the shoes till next month, and maybe find a regular partner or two.
But, dang, I am really doing it. That is great and all. On the downside, my fiscal planning is falling apart. It will be another month before I can get the reloading station. I am picking up little things for my camping excursions and I am getting going on some activities, but it just kills me when I can not plan exactly. Things and activities end up costing a lot more than anticipated, unanticipated expenses creep in as a fact of life, and there really is only so much money, time, and energy, so I am not terribly worried. That I am actually getting to these things is a small wonder.
Tomorrow I believe I will be heading back out to the hunting path. I would like to see where some of those extra paths go. I may have to get up early and go out while it is cool. This time I will remember to take my swimming gear and probably a fishing rod or two. Why waste the drive on a single activity. I do not think I will be able to make church tomorrow, what with a two hour walk, a swim, maybe some fishing, the driving from here to there, and a home shower. However, Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday should be church days, and again Sunday instead of Saturday again this week as I have to pick the Q.O.D. up at between 5:00 and 6:00 pm Saturday. I will just go out Friday late afternoon for my walk and maybe fishing. I am not sure how sore I will be, but two days off is probably good for now. I can afternoon fish on those days I do not walk and wish to go to church for something extra to do. I found some glowing afterdark bait. I did not find the lantern I was looking for, but I did buy a strap-on headlamp which will do for now. It is too late to head out fishing or I would go. I try to be to bed by 10:00pm or at least be simmering down till I can rest, though if I happen to be out fishing and successful, I may make exceptions in the future.
I have been listening to the Andrew Sisters and Cohen a lot lately. Almost exclusively. They are great fun. As well, I think Cohen should be required listening for young gentlemen. I think he conveys a lot of our world in a matter of fact way. Of course, he is a bit artsy, but then what rascal, knight, or troubadour is not? There are a couple of other groups from the Andrew Sisters’ era that I have been thinking about. I cannot remember all the groups’ names but I will eventually find them. Hey, it has been a while.
Life in the dog days.
This morning was a tough one again. I did drag myself out of bed, after messing with the snooze button on the alarm and the reserve alarm clocks for nearly two hours. I am not as sore today, and that early shower helped wake me up and ease the now minor calf pain. I hear it is supposed to get to 90 F or rain, maybe both since it is Iowa, so today is a day of minor activities. I was going to go fishing, but I think I will go train for wall climbing instead. Though I think I will go out and look for some fishing gear and a lantern. If I can find a solid multi-fuel lantern in my price range, I would be quite pleased. I plan to have one or two of those in my camping inventory.
I went to mass. Neither of our priests could make it today, though the reason was not given. One of the sisters provided the service. I had never seen that done before, so it goes into my memory book. I feel sort of lucky here at this church. Not only do I feel I am at the right place for me religiously, but I also get along with our priests, nuns, and parishioners. I have been planning to take each of the avowed out for a dinner or lunch and conversation one or two at a time. I would like to know them better, maybe learn a thing or two, and just thank them for their work with a meal. If I was not a bachelor and could keep the place a little more kempt, I would probably invite them over here. I could put out a much better meal than I can afford at a restaurant, with larger amounts of food, potentially for a larger group, and tailor it to their likes. A wife might be able to assist in this, eventually. I would also like to have some of the leading laity and their families for such meals. I know little about how the church runs, yet I believe I want to know and should know more.
I tried an experiment today. Instead of adding mayo to the tuna for my sandwich, I just drained the tuna and put it on the bread then added spring lettuce. It was actually pretty good. That makes lunches even that much simpler. I am trying to simplify where I can, cut calories and gunk where feasible, and yet I am not interested in becoming a food “granola” either. Oh, I weighed in today. It seems, without eating abnormal amounts and while doing a lot more work and walking, I have gained 15 pounds since Thursday. I wonder if drinking a lot of water would do that? I think I am still about to drop a pant waist size, so I am not sure why the scale is being so rude. Actually, I do not care about the weight, it is the size, shape, and condition that I am interested in. I will probably never be 240 with a 31” waist again, or even that strong, but I could trim up a bit. And, being 6’4” sort of allows me to look thinner than I actually am. What a cheat, but I’ll take it.
I went to mass. Neither of our priests could make it today, though the reason was not given. One of the sisters provided the service. I had never seen that done before, so it goes into my memory book. I feel sort of lucky here at this church. Not only do I feel I am at the right place for me religiously, but I also get along with our priests, nuns, and parishioners. I have been planning to take each of the avowed out for a dinner or lunch and conversation one or two at a time. I would like to know them better, maybe learn a thing or two, and just thank them for their work with a meal. If I was not a bachelor and could keep the place a little more kempt, I would probably invite them over here. I could put out a much better meal than I can afford at a restaurant, with larger amounts of food, potentially for a larger group, and tailor it to their likes. A wife might be able to assist in this, eventually. I would also like to have some of the leading laity and their families for such meals. I know little about how the church runs, yet I believe I want to know and should know more.
I tried an experiment today. Instead of adding mayo to the tuna for my sandwich, I just drained the tuna and put it on the bread then added spring lettuce. It was actually pretty good. That makes lunches even that much simpler. I am trying to simplify where I can, cut calories and gunk where feasible, and yet I am not interested in becoming a food “granola” either. Oh, I weighed in today. It seems, without eating abnormal amounts and while doing a lot more work and walking, I have gained 15 pounds since Thursday. I wonder if drinking a lot of water would do that? I think I am still about to drop a pant waist size, so I am not sure why the scale is being so rude. Actually, I do not care about the weight, it is the size, shape, and condition that I am interested in. I will probably never be 240 with a 31” waist again, or even that strong, but I could trim up a bit. And, being 6’4” sort of allows me to look thinner than I actually am. What a cheat, but I’ll take it.
Sunday, June 17, 2007
A new week in a new life.
I am a bit sore this morning, mostly the back of my lower legs. It is not severe, just soft limp inspiring. It was also difficult to wake this morning. Oh, I did hear the alarms at least, but after messing with the snooze on the first one for a 45 minutes before shutting it off, and the same with my reserve alarm, I ended up sleeping until noon (they were set for 7:00 and 8:00 am). Now, doggone it, I really do not mind. I did miss church, and honestly, you can never make this up. I will not use the cosmic old humor that, “God knew about this a long time ago” excuse. First, God does not hand out permission. Secondly, He knows everything, I believe, but that does not mean He approves of everything. However, I will say He knows I am trying to do right by my health and Him. He knows as I try things, I cannot always fully gauge the affect, especially at this point. As for the church, I do not expect her to be as forgiving. She is trying to lead, and sometimes must come across as a bit cross at times. It is her nature. Sometimes it behooves us, whether dealing with the church, our mother, or our lady love to just shut up and take it. (no smirks or funnies either, for God’s and your own sake *laughs*)
I know I have been dreaming again, but I cannot quite remember them in the morning. They have not been bad dreams, my jaw does not hurt in the morning. So, this is a good thing. It means I am sleeping deeply enough. It has been becoming the norm rather than the exception lately. As I am becoming able to work and play harder, my sleep is taking care of itself. Beyond, the medication I initially needed to help sleep is no longer being used regularly. I hate taking medication, so this is good. Now if I can push past the “mother’s little helper” as the Rolling St(B)ones would put it, I will be pleased. But I think that is going to take a while. I’ll need to get in shape, and keep activities up for that to happen. That will take more time, more like six months to a year before I will monkey with that much. I will see how well this goes for the next few months, then tell my doctor. It is probably not a bad thing to have on hand, prn, but that will be up to him.
Tomorrow I will go in for training on the wall, or try. I may still be a bit sore, but that first night of training is mostly “book learning” as it was described to me. Besides, I am not so sore I could not do a little climbing even now. I will also have to make it to church an extra time or two this week. It is not to make up for missing Saturday or Sunday, it is just what it is. Oh, and I better get in for the Sacrament of Reconciliation this Saturday. I try to do that quarterly. Until recently, time really had no meaning in my life, so it was difficult to track, still is at the moment. It still has only a weird affect, in that I sort of age. I need to make a concerted effort to make time itself a dynamic and well tended aspect of my life. It is vital for a functional professional familial and spiritual life.
Depending on how tomorrow goes and how I feel, I may be back out to that path again this coming Tuesday probably no later than Wednesday. Before even going off the path, there are several paths that lead off the main path I took. I want to fully explore those. Then I would like to experiment on those paths, maybe make a little personal map, then begin exploring a bit off the paths. This time, and from now on, I will have my swimming gear with me too. Maybe my fishing gear as well. Oh, one more sure thing on my docket, I need to get my lifetime fishing and hunting license. I finally went to Des Moines a few weeks back and they printed out a form I can take in for that. I still have to buy the various stamps and pay land use, but it will cut those hunting costs in half or more and eliminate the yearly fishing fee altogether.
I know I have been dreaming again, but I cannot quite remember them in the morning. They have not been bad dreams, my jaw does not hurt in the morning. So, this is a good thing. It means I am sleeping deeply enough. It has been becoming the norm rather than the exception lately. As I am becoming able to work and play harder, my sleep is taking care of itself. Beyond, the medication I initially needed to help sleep is no longer being used regularly. I hate taking medication, so this is good. Now if I can push past the “mother’s little helper” as the Rolling St(B)ones would put it, I will be pleased. But I think that is going to take a while. I’ll need to get in shape, and keep activities up for that to happen. That will take more time, more like six months to a year before I will monkey with that much. I will see how well this goes for the next few months, then tell my doctor. It is probably not a bad thing to have on hand, prn, but that will be up to him.
Tomorrow I will go in for training on the wall, or try. I may still be a bit sore, but that first night of training is mostly “book learning” as it was described to me. Besides, I am not so sore I could not do a little climbing even now. I will also have to make it to church an extra time or two this week. It is not to make up for missing Saturday or Sunday, it is just what it is. Oh, and I better get in for the Sacrament of Reconciliation this Saturday. I try to do that quarterly. Until recently, time really had no meaning in my life, so it was difficult to track, still is at the moment. It still has only a weird affect, in that I sort of age. I need to make a concerted effort to make time itself a dynamic and well tended aspect of my life. It is vital for a functional professional familial and spiritual life.
Depending on how tomorrow goes and how I feel, I may be back out to that path again this coming Tuesday probably no later than Wednesday. Before even going off the path, there are several paths that lead off the main path I took. I want to fully explore those. Then I would like to experiment on those paths, maybe make a little personal map, then begin exploring a bit off the paths. This time, and from now on, I will have my swimming gear with me too. Maybe my fishing gear as well. Oh, one more sure thing on my docket, I need to get my lifetime fishing and hunting license. I finally went to Des Moines a few weeks back and they printed out a form I can take in for that. I still have to buy the various stamps and pay land use, but it will cut those hunting costs in half or more and eliminate the yearly fishing fee altogether.
Saturday, June 16, 2007
Winging my way! (to bed, I am dead)
Fishing. It was great to get out on the lake. Well, on the shore of the lake. And the fish were biting. Many too small to take the hook, a few big ones who just chased, and a few medium sized ones we managed to catch. No lost lures or bait, I believe. I had forgotten to purchase a license. My friend asked if I thought it was necessary, or not, and I thought so. We had to waste a good 15-20 minutes doing that. My very bad. Good thing I did though, we were checked after being there just a bit. Gee, doing the right thing paid off in spades and immediately this time. Oh, a lot of mosquito bites too to boot, but that is part of the game. The boys went with, but neither wanted to fish. My neighbor let them reel in some of his fish. It made me feel a bit guilty after having reeled in several and not having thought about the boys, once I realized what he was doing. No matter how hard I tried after that, I just could not get one hooked. Next time, I will do so as well. It helps get them involved in the fun part of fishing until they are old enough to handle and even enjoy the rest of it, I think. He is a good dad, I am taking notes.
We are going to take his boat out some time this week. Life is certainly picking up. Oh, I described the place I visited and walked today. I think he is definitely planning on hunting this year, either bow, shotgun, or both for deer. Plus ducks and maybe squirrel as well. We might have to get some practice in first. I know I will, I just do not want to take shots that should work which do not work. My shotgun is accurate, but whatever brand or type of slug I was shooting just did not have the power it needed. At 85 yards, it should take down a deer. I may have been using a sabot in my smoothbore, the wrong choke, I cannot remember exactly now, and it was my first hunt. But, I will have the right rounds, barrel, and choke should I use one this year. I would also like to check out his bow. I have never shot a bow, and I am a little suspicious of the things. Though, so far, everything I lay my hands on I can shoot competently, maybe more. It is as if I was born to it. Still, the bow is an odd thing. It brings back memories I never had.
What a day! I was up at 6:30ish am, worked up the Queen’s itinerary, got a no-go from my neighbor for the early walk and yet actually went on my own (it has been a while since I have been self-actuating). Then took a two hour jog/walk through the hills in 87 F weather. Came home, made plans for fishing, made that with a decent little walk and the usual travel up and down the bank looking for THE spot, and am just getting home. Nice, THIS day goes down as my most active day in 19 years! I am almost human, or as close as I will ever be to such creatures. I really have a chance here. The trick is to not run and fall or hold back too much. Balance, quaint but I will take that for it’s simple truth.
I have also decided I will be taking engineering calculus III this fall, on my own nickel. If successful, I will then go on and take two general electrical engineering courses in the spring, again, on my own nickel. As well, if successful, I will have all of my engineering math out of the way and have a minor in math from some other extra math work plus the engineering math I have done. If these work, if I breeze through these, I will reapply for VA financials. There is a catch, one major caveat, one self-imposed hurdle. I have decided that, with all else in my life, part time is fine, if I must. Being older, I really might not be able to handle 18 hours of classes a week and the required homework, plus keeping up with the cave, general business, medical appointments, and everything else in my real life, so, fine. However, I will not be using disability services. No extra time on tests. No quiet time testing. No nothing. If I do this, I will do this correctly or not at all. Who knows, maybe I will be able to get up to full time (12 credits) or more. I had expanded to 9 credits and was planning to up that right before the high blood pressure medicine fiasco. Odd as it sounds, it might actually help me to get to Colorado quicker. Do not ask, just trust. As for me, I will or I will not, there is no try.
Oh, I missed church though, so I will have to be up early... Ack, goodnight!
We are going to take his boat out some time this week. Life is certainly picking up. Oh, I described the place I visited and walked today. I think he is definitely planning on hunting this year, either bow, shotgun, or both for deer. Plus ducks and maybe squirrel as well. We might have to get some practice in first. I know I will, I just do not want to take shots that should work which do not work. My shotgun is accurate, but whatever brand or type of slug I was shooting just did not have the power it needed. At 85 yards, it should take down a deer. I may have been using a sabot in my smoothbore, the wrong choke, I cannot remember exactly now, and it was my first hunt. But, I will have the right rounds, barrel, and choke should I use one this year. I would also like to check out his bow. I have never shot a bow, and I am a little suspicious of the things. Though, so far, everything I lay my hands on I can shoot competently, maybe more. It is as if I was born to it. Still, the bow is an odd thing. It brings back memories I never had.
What a day! I was up at 6:30ish am, worked up the Queen’s itinerary, got a no-go from my neighbor for the early walk and yet actually went on my own (it has been a while since I have been self-actuating). Then took a two hour jog/walk through the hills in 87 F weather. Came home, made plans for fishing, made that with a decent little walk and the usual travel up and down the bank looking for THE spot, and am just getting home. Nice, THIS day goes down as my most active day in 19 years! I am almost human, or as close as I will ever be to such creatures. I really have a chance here. The trick is to not run and fall or hold back too much. Balance, quaint but I will take that for it’s simple truth.
I have also decided I will be taking engineering calculus III this fall, on my own nickel. If successful, I will then go on and take two general electrical engineering courses in the spring, again, on my own nickel. As well, if successful, I will have all of my engineering math out of the way and have a minor in math from some other extra math work plus the engineering math I have done. If these work, if I breeze through these, I will reapply for VA financials. There is a catch, one major caveat, one self-imposed hurdle. I have decided that, with all else in my life, part time is fine, if I must. Being older, I really might not be able to handle 18 hours of classes a week and the required homework, plus keeping up with the cave, general business, medical appointments, and everything else in my real life, so, fine. However, I will not be using disability services. No extra time on tests. No quiet time testing. No nothing. If I do this, I will do this correctly or not at all. Who knows, maybe I will be able to get up to full time (12 credits) or more. I had expanded to 9 credits and was planning to up that right before the high blood pressure medicine fiasco. Odd as it sounds, it might actually help me to get to Colorado quicker. Do not ask, just trust. As for me, I will or I will not, there is no try.
Oh, I missed church though, so I will have to be up early... Ack, goodnight!
Time
In the time that is left to me
In the moments I find lifetimes,
In the days I find weeks,
In the moment I am lost.
I can not seem to recall
where I need to go.
I think I can get there all in all.
The months become hours,
the years become moments,
how to gauge this thing called life.
I will not be here tomorrow,
I left yesterday.
I will be here always,
it is not a choice.
There is no time left
to ponder my infinite fate.
In the moments I find lifetimes,
In the days I find weeks,
In the moment I am lost.
I can not seem to recall
where I need to go.
I think I can get there all in all.
The months become hours,
the years become moments,
how to gauge this thing called life.
I will not be here tomorrow,
I left yesterday.
I will be here always,
it is not a choice.
There is no time left
to ponder my infinite fate.
Another post. I'm hoping they get a bit more exciting before too long.
I just got back from the trail. My neighbor could not go, he had a sports practice with his eldest son. We, his family and myself, may be going fishing and have a hotdog roast this evening. After I am done with this, I will call and see if his wife would like me to pick something up, or get something specific. Shoot, I had better get a fishing license too. I did not end up getting started on the trail until 10:00, so I had lost most of the morning coolness. It was heavily shaded yet sparse enough so that even without a breeze moving the air around it was not too hot. I am not sure how far I went, 3 miles and some more, up to 5 miles is my guess though. It was very hilly but the trails were well placed to alleviate some of that. My clothes are soaked, as I was driving back into town I can see why. It is already 87 F even if it did not feel like it. The humidity is only 41%, not Vegas but not bad for around here. To be honest, I am a little surprised I was able to do that. They had a few benches throughout, and I rested ever 1/3 of the way in and out. I also drained about 2/3 of my camel pack. I actually think I made pretty good time. I move at a decent pace, and actually think slowing down is an irritant and perhaps harder than just pushing it a bit.
I was a little upset that I forgot to bring swimming clothes, towel, and such though. It would have been great to chill a bit before really chilling a bit. The lake is large enough that it keeps some of it’s cool all summer. There is a swimming hole not 4 miles away, right in that trail area. Although it is a weekend so maybe it was best to not go. I noticed a number of fifth wheel campers and an RV or two going into the camp last weekend, so it seems like a busy place. I might have to check it out this coming week a couple of times. If the water is not too bad, it might even save me a shower… Well, probably not.
I did not go off the path, but occasionally I took a good look around to see some angles and get my bearing so I might have a better chance of navigating off the trail. I noticed about a dozen potential deer trails. I even found one doe nestled not more than 25 feet off the trail. The bushes, branches, and all made it difficult to see her. I was a little surprised she did not dart off while I was coming or going. She was a rather mature large doe, perhaps 4 to 6 years old. I saw a fawn briefly through the trees once as well. I also heard some large animal movements off the trail. Since we do not have bears around, I was a little worried (about drug harvesters or such) until I started seeing the aforementioned deer. I am not much of a birder, so do not rely on this, but I saw a bunch of *LBB’s, if I am not mistaken. I did not see a single squirrel though. Maybe they went to a wedding or funeral or just traveled for the weekend? Nuts!
*(little brown birds)
I was a little upset that I forgot to bring swimming clothes, towel, and such though. It would have been great to chill a bit before really chilling a bit. The lake is large enough that it keeps some of it’s cool all summer. There is a swimming hole not 4 miles away, right in that trail area. Although it is a weekend so maybe it was best to not go. I noticed a number of fifth wheel campers and an RV or two going into the camp last weekend, so it seems like a busy place. I might have to check it out this coming week a couple of times. If the water is not too bad, it might even save me a shower… Well, probably not.
I did not go off the path, but occasionally I took a good look around to see some angles and get my bearing so I might have a better chance of navigating off the trail. I noticed about a dozen potential deer trails. I even found one doe nestled not more than 25 feet off the trail. The bushes, branches, and all made it difficult to see her. I was a little surprised she did not dart off while I was coming or going. She was a rather mature large doe, perhaps 4 to 6 years old. I saw a fawn briefly through the trees once as well. I also heard some large animal movements off the trail. Since we do not have bears around, I was a little worried (about drug harvesters or such) until I started seeing the aforementioned deer. I am not much of a birder, so do not rely on this, but I saw a bunch of *LBB’s, if I am not mistaken. I did not see a single squirrel though. Maybe they went to a wedding or funeral or just traveled for the weekend? Nuts!
*(little brown birds)
Time to get out of the cave?
Wow, I am sluggish this morning. I think I forgot to take my meds yesterday, that might have something to do with it. Still, I was up at 6:30ish and got the Q.O.D. the items she wanted me to pick up, then packed and to a few stores, then unloaded at her pick-up point on time and in health. I am now trying to contact my neighbor, who indicated he might be interested in hiking that hunting path. He too hunts, and he has two boys I think he wants to train. They are a bit young and not overly enthused, but I think they will come around. They enjoy their pellet gun and once in a while with close supervision, shooting their dad’s .22 rifle. Yea, I have some small envy, but it is of the correct sort. It is incentive to have some of my own, not jealousy, I guess is how to put it.
I rang their number, but no one answered, so I shall go over and knock. He may not be able to go. He had to check with the misses. See, that is where my envy becomes a little bottle-necked. Oh, don’t get me wrong. And she is a sweetheart as I see it, temper, moods, and all as I know her. It is just that honey-do or honey-do-not thing. Although, he is often exceptionally busy and time management must be a nightmare for him, being as family oriented as he is. She actually wants him to get out, if they do not have something else on the schedule. She knows he misses that, he apparently comes from an outdoorsy family. For us transplants, or for this one anyway, it feels like being an oak planted in a four lane highway. Some of this place just does not make sense to me. I have rebelled and rush only when someone’s arm is off, even then it would just be a quicker but steady pace, not this mad rush verging on perpetual panic.
Oh, I am off. Stay sweet or sour, whatever is your druthers. Just do not change too quickly, it is too early for surprises.
I rang their number, but no one answered, so I shall go over and knock. He may not be able to go. He had to check with the misses. See, that is where my envy becomes a little bottle-necked. Oh, don’t get me wrong. And she is a sweetheart as I see it, temper, moods, and all as I know her. It is just that honey-do or honey-do-not thing. Although, he is often exceptionally busy and time management must be a nightmare for him, being as family oriented as he is. She actually wants him to get out, if they do not have something else on the schedule. She knows he misses that, he apparently comes from an outdoorsy family. For us transplants, or for this one anyway, it feels like being an oak planted in a four lane highway. Some of this place just does not make sense to me. I have rebelled and rush only when someone’s arm is off, even then it would just be a quicker but steady pace, not this mad rush verging on perpetual panic.
Oh, I am off. Stay sweet or sour, whatever is your druthers. Just do not change too quickly, it is too early for surprises.
Friday, June 15, 2007
My day off leaves me with time to write, so...
Wow is it getting hot here. I’m really going to have to use some caution when hiking, or anything, outdoors. While visiting my mother’s home, I was starting to get tuckered that last afternoon just doing little nothings outdoors. I was worried that I was weak or off, so I asked my Mum about it. She said that it was just fine to be getting tuckered. She is an outdoorsy woman and says some days just suck the juice from your batteries (well, her idea, my terminology, give or take). I just filled my water pack, and water really tastes sweet out of it. I’m really getting excited about getting out and looking around. But a jaunt outdoors today and I realize caution is in order.
I won’t be doing that tomorrow, the Q.O.D. needs a ride somewhere. She uses part of her vacation to do an eco-canoe trip every year, for the last three years anyway. She gets together with a group, and they spend a week picking up debris from the river, banks, and islands. They pay $140 or something and get three catered meals a day (not bad, and she says the food is good), paddle a different waterway each year, and pick up trash on their way. They also have educational opportunities in the evenings (varied, from watching/helping with a bat study including placing the nets, to setting (non-destructive) traps in hopes of finding some endangered mouse, to archeological dig views and talks, and these change, of course, those are just past examples). I do not believe in many eco-stupid things, but this is one I do believe in, even if I would never do it (too big of a group, too left leaning of a group most likely, and I’m not sure I’m quite up to a week long full time event (then again, I am a pessimist at times, hrmph)). I have thanked her for her work. She could have fun and sip pina coladas, sleep, or something equally foolish but fun with her time off. And it’s always very hot when they go, it seems they luck out and pick the hottest week of the year to go. Yes, I have no problem thanking her.
Then again, if where she is going is close, I may just look around from that point. I will need to pick her up around 7:00 am, so it will still be as cool as daylight hours get. Hmmm, might have to head out to that hunting trail I found. It’s too early to hunt there, of course, but as I have said I want to check it out anyway. I’ll just have to see, Saturdays seem to bring out every “nature lover” available and they crowd nature. On the upside, if I go and it’s relatively open, there are two good swimming holes near my path of choice. That would be a great way to cool off after a couple of hours or more of being lost in the woods.
Oh, I showed my mother my blog and how to visit it (good luck with that Mom, ha). Anyway, for her if she figures it out, and of course for the blog… My mother, as I wrote before, did some home cooking while I was home. There were a number of fantastic meals. One of which was homemade authentic enchiladas! She not only made enough for us (and we both thought she absolutely did it to perfection when we ate half of that batch), she made some in bread pans for me to bring home. I shared one pan with the Obfusticattor today, and she was quite pleased with it. The other pan I am hoping to share with some neighbors. After today, I don’t think the enchiladas I have left will be enough to feed my neighbors and myself on it’s own, but with a few sides it might be fine. Dang but I love homemade Mexican food. Oh, it is not hot. My mother does not tolerate such food well these days. But it was spiced flavor correct and contrary to many beliefs, Mexican food is not always hot. Some of it is presented actually bland, and is meant to be (this was not bland, just not hot). As a side note, being more awake and aware this time, I might have stolen her recipe. Though I will make it hot(ter), as I can handle up to and sometimes the habanera itself (dictionary calls it pungent, I’m thinking more like punch in the nose by a steam train, but whatever). The recipe is easy and not easy, and it is hot work, as well, it does take time, but it works so well with so many meats, that it is a great recipe (she used one pound of beef and two pounds of ground turkey, and I couldn’t tell it was not all beef). Works with shredded chicken and turkey too, maybe pork or ground pork too, dunno. Nope, I just do not think it is enough for the neighbors. So, Miss Piggy and myself will just have to have another round of that. Maybe I could do a trial run or two, then make enough for the neighbors if it works out.
Ah, I should mention this. As I write these posts, I really don’t try to organize my thoughts. I just ramble and let you see how my brain works. I do a bit of editing, check spelling and word usage (roughly and occasionally) and organize maybe in the most mechanical sense of the word, but mostly this is just thoughts as they occur. When I begin reporting on the purchasing and testing of gear, I will try to keep that succinct, organized, and professional. I would not want someone buying rock climbing rope and using it in a tree (bad), buying a cooking camp stove when they just want a snow melter/water boiler, or some other expensive or dangerous thing (mostly, the gene pool, like all pools, should be self cleaning).
I won’t be doing that tomorrow, the Q.O.D. needs a ride somewhere. She uses part of her vacation to do an eco-canoe trip every year, for the last three years anyway. She gets together with a group, and they spend a week picking up debris from the river, banks, and islands. They pay $140 or something and get three catered meals a day (not bad, and she says the food is good), paddle a different waterway each year, and pick up trash on their way. They also have educational opportunities in the evenings (varied, from watching/helping with a bat study including placing the nets, to setting (non-destructive) traps in hopes of finding some endangered mouse, to archeological dig views and talks, and these change, of course, those are just past examples). I do not believe in many eco-stupid things, but this is one I do believe in, even if I would never do it (too big of a group, too left leaning of a group most likely, and I’m not sure I’m quite up to a week long full time event (then again, I am a pessimist at times, hrmph)). I have thanked her for her work. She could have fun and sip pina coladas, sleep, or something equally foolish but fun with her time off. And it’s always very hot when they go, it seems they luck out and pick the hottest week of the year to go. Yes, I have no problem thanking her.
Then again, if where she is going is close, I may just look around from that point. I will need to pick her up around 7:00 am, so it will still be as cool as daylight hours get. Hmmm, might have to head out to that hunting trail I found. It’s too early to hunt there, of course, but as I have said I want to check it out anyway. I’ll just have to see, Saturdays seem to bring out every “nature lover” available and they crowd nature. On the upside, if I go and it’s relatively open, there are two good swimming holes near my path of choice. That would be a great way to cool off after a couple of hours or more of being lost in the woods.
Oh, I showed my mother my blog and how to visit it (good luck with that Mom, ha). Anyway, for her if she figures it out, and of course for the blog… My mother, as I wrote before, did some home cooking while I was home. There were a number of fantastic meals. One of which was homemade authentic enchiladas! She not only made enough for us (and we both thought she absolutely did it to perfection when we ate half of that batch), she made some in bread pans for me to bring home. I shared one pan with the Obfusticattor today, and she was quite pleased with it. The other pan I am hoping to share with some neighbors. After today, I don’t think the enchiladas I have left will be enough to feed my neighbors and myself on it’s own, but with a few sides it might be fine. Dang but I love homemade Mexican food. Oh, it is not hot. My mother does not tolerate such food well these days. But it was spiced flavor correct and contrary to many beliefs, Mexican food is not always hot. Some of it is presented actually bland, and is meant to be (this was not bland, just not hot). As a side note, being more awake and aware this time, I might have stolen her recipe. Though I will make it hot(ter), as I can handle up to and sometimes the habanera itself (dictionary calls it pungent, I’m thinking more like punch in the nose by a steam train, but whatever). The recipe is easy and not easy, and it is hot work, as well, it does take time, but it works so well with so many meats, that it is a great recipe (she used one pound of beef and two pounds of ground turkey, and I couldn’t tell it was not all beef). Works with shredded chicken and turkey too, maybe pork or ground pork too, dunno. Nope, I just do not think it is enough for the neighbors. So, Miss Piggy and myself will just have to have another round of that. Maybe I could do a trial run or two, then make enough for the neighbors if it works out.
Ah, I should mention this. As I write these posts, I really don’t try to organize my thoughts. I just ramble and let you see how my brain works. I do a bit of editing, check spelling and word usage (roughly and occasionally) and organize maybe in the most mechanical sense of the word, but mostly this is just thoughts as they occur. When I begin reporting on the purchasing and testing of gear, I will try to keep that succinct, organized, and professional. I would not want someone buying rock climbing rope and using it in a tree (bad), buying a cooking camp stove when they just want a snow melter/water boiler, or some other expensive or dangerous thing (mostly, the gene pool, like all pools, should be self cleaning).
Back and getting on track.
I got back late last night. I had planned on writing, then unpacking, doing some wash, taking a shower and crashing. So much for plans. I actually spent a couple hours chilling, figuratively and literally, unloaded, started some wash, showered, and then crashed sublimely. I turned off my phone so that I would not be disturbed this morning, as it was about 3:00 am when I finally got into a losing pillow fight with my bed. I was K.O.ed before the first bell. I woke well this morning, but not until around 10:00 am.
So much to catch up on, but I find that I’m not really losing track that much. It all looks familiar. Different day, same faces and stories. Go figure that one, eh. Immigration opponents outnumber proponents ten to one, but all politicians are in the in the “one” department. Of course, there are 10 to 30 million guaranteed proponents of illegal amnesty, and I’ll bet most of them are voters in spite of their “legal” situation. The war in Iraq, despite what CNN and a little less than half the population says, is still supported. President Bush’s popularity decline has nothing to do with it or congressional popularity would not be even lower. Nobody likes politicians except illegal aliens, wait, no they do not either. People are still happy and unhappy, living, writing, and talking. Hmmm, oh, and all that other jazz.
As for me, it was a good week. I got a lot done for my Mom. A half dozen bigger jobs (some of which I needed help or helped others do), a dozen small jobs, a few things she had not realized needed doing, and a few things that just helped her while I was there but would not really be called tasks. Oh, and boy did I get some home cooking! It was some fine food. I also checked her computer, her computer works well. I think she is letting a 14 year old goof on it, which renders it useless at times. She will not change, so she is stuck with what she gets. Bah! She is on this anti-diet coke kick because of an email (rightly most likely though foolish in that I had warned her off the stuff years ago), so I’m trying to get her to go further. I am unsure what is used to replace fat in “fat-free” goods, but somehow I doubt it is a good thing either. Her no-stick pans have scratches in them, so I am trying to get her to go to something else or at least replace them. I am considering replacing her gear but I am reconsidering that, as I do not believe she will get rid of her steel spatulas and cooking spoons, which even the best non-stick will not tolerate and she does not seem interested in change. I tried to talk her into going back to cast iron, but she says it is too heavy for her now. I’m also trying to get her to start walking. I do not think it will happen. As well, in spite of letting me think she had quit smoking, she has not quit. I need to wash my clothes as soon as I get home for that reason, and I do not like having that smoke smell on my clothes while I am there and go into town, smoke is a bit nauseating and depressing on a daily basis. Oh, I did find out about her health. She does not have lupus, she has a much more minor (and imminently treatable) condition. She was put on a very heavy though devaluing-over-time dose as a curative that probably did make her ill. By the time I left, she was spry and ornery again. It was very good to see. She may have a heart attack or a stroke in a week, have an accident, or whatnot and be gone fast for one reason or another (and will soon or late), but if she is living well and enjoying life in the interim, it will be easier to deal with that.
On the flip side of the coin, I think she was a bit surprised at my health. I was able to get quite a lot accomplished. And though I had my limits, they far exceed what she has seen in years, perhaps decades. Not only did I not mind working, I looked for things to do beside the list she had. Some things she might notice, others maybe not. Since I was not always tired, I was also not cranky. I think she is starting to understand some things and have a little faith in what I have told her. Seeing, after all, is believing. And, though not svelte by a long shot, I am in far better condition than I have been for years. I am hoping this summer will see a shaving of some more mass and an overall strengthening and toning of my body. I weighed in at under 280, if by only a sliver, for the first time in about 9 months, but the way my clothes fit says a great deal more is going on than what even the scale says.
My hiking gear is in and fits, so probably tomorrow or Sunday, I will find some of these trails and begin exploring more. A water camel, a pack with a proper snack or two, the raincoat, pants/shorts, a t-shirt, and my Dr. Martins should see me well through many miles this summer. Hmm, and there is the rock wall. It sounded like Fridays were not a good time to be getting training, so I will just go in Monday. Today I am going to chill here at home, get some of this squared away, finish my laundry, and rest up a bit.
Oh, I did make it to church then to my church event that last Sunday. I was on time and ready. I dressed more bohemian than proper, wearing blue jeans, a dressier oxford shirt (button down), brown heavy oxford shoes, and my woolen sport-coat. Not a bad look, considering I begin with a Frankenstein look anyway. Well, I was a bit warm and a bit overdressed. Still, I was comfortable with that and will learn to dress down a bit. As well, I met several people I had not seen for a bit and enjoyed that and mass very much. I met my obligation, and felt rewarded. Mass was fantastic by itself. I saw the first procession and it was an amazing service to me. I am not used to kneeling for that long of a stretch, and kneeling itself is sort of new and not quite yet comfortable, but I saw some humor in this. When I was 18, watching people 1/3 my age out ski me; when I was still in classes and watching people ½ my age out work me; and now watching people twice my age out kneel me, well, it happens. I was so impressed with this Sunday that I will have to switch in at least one Sunday a month, though Saturdays will be my usual. Oh, I forgot to go to coffee hour! Really. I had intended to attend, it seems my feet get carried away before my brain kicked in. That too happens.
It just goes to show, as soon as I think I have it all figured out I realize I do not. I like this game.
So much to catch up on, but I find that I’m not really losing track that much. It all looks familiar. Different day, same faces and stories. Go figure that one, eh. Immigration opponents outnumber proponents ten to one, but all politicians are in the in the “one” department. Of course, there are 10 to 30 million guaranteed proponents of illegal amnesty, and I’ll bet most of them are voters in spite of their “legal” situation. The war in Iraq, despite what CNN and a little less than half the population says, is still supported. President Bush’s popularity decline has nothing to do with it or congressional popularity would not be even lower. Nobody likes politicians except illegal aliens, wait, no they do not either. People are still happy and unhappy, living, writing, and talking. Hmmm, oh, and all that other jazz.
As for me, it was a good week. I got a lot done for my Mom. A half dozen bigger jobs (some of which I needed help or helped others do), a dozen small jobs, a few things she had not realized needed doing, and a few things that just helped her while I was there but would not really be called tasks. Oh, and boy did I get some home cooking! It was some fine food. I also checked her computer, her computer works well. I think she is letting a 14 year old goof on it, which renders it useless at times. She will not change, so she is stuck with what she gets. Bah! She is on this anti-diet coke kick because of an email (rightly most likely though foolish in that I had warned her off the stuff years ago), so I’m trying to get her to go further. I am unsure what is used to replace fat in “fat-free” goods, but somehow I doubt it is a good thing either. Her no-stick pans have scratches in them, so I am trying to get her to go to something else or at least replace them. I am considering replacing her gear but I am reconsidering that, as I do not believe she will get rid of her steel spatulas and cooking spoons, which even the best non-stick will not tolerate and she does not seem interested in change. I tried to talk her into going back to cast iron, but she says it is too heavy for her now. I’m also trying to get her to start walking. I do not think it will happen. As well, in spite of letting me think she had quit smoking, she has not quit. I need to wash my clothes as soon as I get home for that reason, and I do not like having that smoke smell on my clothes while I am there and go into town, smoke is a bit nauseating and depressing on a daily basis. Oh, I did find out about her health. She does not have lupus, she has a much more minor (and imminently treatable) condition. She was put on a very heavy though devaluing-over-time dose as a curative that probably did make her ill. By the time I left, she was spry and ornery again. It was very good to see. She may have a heart attack or a stroke in a week, have an accident, or whatnot and be gone fast for one reason or another (and will soon or late), but if she is living well and enjoying life in the interim, it will be easier to deal with that.
On the flip side of the coin, I think she was a bit surprised at my health. I was able to get quite a lot accomplished. And though I had my limits, they far exceed what she has seen in years, perhaps decades. Not only did I not mind working, I looked for things to do beside the list she had. Some things she might notice, others maybe not. Since I was not always tired, I was also not cranky. I think she is starting to understand some things and have a little faith in what I have told her. Seeing, after all, is believing. And, though not svelte by a long shot, I am in far better condition than I have been for years. I am hoping this summer will see a shaving of some more mass and an overall strengthening and toning of my body. I weighed in at under 280, if by only a sliver, for the first time in about 9 months, but the way my clothes fit says a great deal more is going on than what even the scale says.
My hiking gear is in and fits, so probably tomorrow or Sunday, I will find some of these trails and begin exploring more. A water camel, a pack with a proper snack or two, the raincoat, pants/shorts, a t-shirt, and my Dr. Martins should see me well through many miles this summer. Hmm, and there is the rock wall. It sounded like Fridays were not a good time to be getting training, so I will just go in Monday. Today I am going to chill here at home, get some of this squared away, finish my laundry, and rest up a bit.
Oh, I did make it to church then to my church event that last Sunday. I was on time and ready. I dressed more bohemian than proper, wearing blue jeans, a dressier oxford shirt (button down), brown heavy oxford shoes, and my woolen sport-coat. Not a bad look, considering I begin with a Frankenstein look anyway. Well, I was a bit warm and a bit overdressed. Still, I was comfortable with that and will learn to dress down a bit. As well, I met several people I had not seen for a bit and enjoyed that and mass very much. I met my obligation, and felt rewarded. Mass was fantastic by itself. I saw the first procession and it was an amazing service to me. I am not used to kneeling for that long of a stretch, and kneeling itself is sort of new and not quite yet comfortable, but I saw some humor in this. When I was 18, watching people 1/3 my age out ski me; when I was still in classes and watching people ½ my age out work me; and now watching people twice my age out kneel me, well, it happens. I was so impressed with this Sunday that I will have to switch in at least one Sunday a month, though Saturdays will be my usual. Oh, I forgot to go to coffee hour! Really. I had intended to attend, it seems my feet get carried away before my brain kicked in. That too happens.
It just goes to show, as soon as I think I have it all figured out I realize I do not. I like this game.
Sunday, June 10, 2007
Time to go.
I am moving slow, but I have about an hour, assuming a half hour for this post, to get to church. I don’t feel like going, but my feelings are just that, my intentions are more to fact.
She has called twice since our trip, once to make a faux complaint in order to actually mention how glad she was for the trip and to thank me for a wonderful day. This morning she called to see if I was going to take my strawberries (of course, too precious and rare to leave to rot) to my mother’s home. She was looking for a freebie, which I don’t understand as she bought four or six quarts herself. Bah, probably reminding me to take them by poking a stick into my defenses to activate my greed to make sure I took them. But, because of her call, I realized my fish could use some food while I am away. Yep, poking in some honey pots produces bees. So, she said she would feed them if I left instructions. Knowing her, and I do, I told her rather than explicit instructions, I would leave the containers on paper, a paper for each tank and labeled as such, with a sample feeding for each tank. It will have to be a little heavier doses as she will feed them once daily while I usually feed them twice a day, except for my every other day beta feeding.
It looks like Rocky got tired of his pellets. He ate the biggest gold fish in the tank. I sort of saw that coming though. Not that Rocky (a crawdad) had been hungrier for fish, but the big boy (never named him as he was Rocky fodder from the start) had started getting fat and lazy. Now, he is a pile of scales and crawdad poop. I do love Rocky, he knows how to treat food right. Right now Rocky is lazing over in a corner, wishing he could watch a Super Bowl game or something, even a rerun would do after this little thanksgiving dinner. Probably crawdad belching too.
It looks a bit cloudy and it’s rather cool this morning. Good, that is how I prefer it. Well, ok, I am trying to get beyond that. Hmm, maybe I’ll have to go all cheery and like the weather all the time (which I sort of do anyway, in spite of my sometimes stretched sometimes real gloom at times). Ok, I’ll do that but I do not have to act all cheery or admit to it. Yes, that is the ticket. Do not go there, I save some space for backsliding a bit, energy and mood reserves, and just being somewhat ornery, obstinate, cantankerous, and dark. It is not a bad thing. Not one of my favorites scotches, cigarettes, cigars, or lady friends has ever been without serious bite. Even my cats have been, hmmm, in the realm of near feral. Although it seems my past German Shepherds and preferred pipe tobacco reflect my more serious formal smooth lawful ways, go figure.
It is time to move. I will put on 22 ounces of French press espresso and that should hit the “do not touch that button” button. Have a great Sunday. I hope you find a way to give God his dues, as your faith and ability allow. He does not need us, but like any father, it brings him no small joy to see us and receive our humble gifts. I’m taking him my feeble works, attitude, fears, and hopes, and both my good and bad, which will go into the plate with some ducks. He cares for us wholly, even better than Rocky does his fish, no remainders and He is not destructive. I wonder if he watches football?
She has called twice since our trip, once to make a faux complaint in order to actually mention how glad she was for the trip and to thank me for a wonderful day. This morning she called to see if I was going to take my strawberries (of course, too precious and rare to leave to rot) to my mother’s home. She was looking for a freebie, which I don’t understand as she bought four or six quarts herself. Bah, probably reminding me to take them by poking a stick into my defenses to activate my greed to make sure I took them. But, because of her call, I realized my fish could use some food while I am away. Yep, poking in some honey pots produces bees. So, she said she would feed them if I left instructions. Knowing her, and I do, I told her rather than explicit instructions, I would leave the containers on paper, a paper for each tank and labeled as such, with a sample feeding for each tank. It will have to be a little heavier doses as she will feed them once daily while I usually feed them twice a day, except for my every other day beta feeding.
It looks like Rocky got tired of his pellets. He ate the biggest gold fish in the tank. I sort of saw that coming though. Not that Rocky (a crawdad) had been hungrier for fish, but the big boy (never named him as he was Rocky fodder from the start) had started getting fat and lazy. Now, he is a pile of scales and crawdad poop. I do love Rocky, he knows how to treat food right. Right now Rocky is lazing over in a corner, wishing he could watch a Super Bowl game or something, even a rerun would do after this little thanksgiving dinner. Probably crawdad belching too.
It looks a bit cloudy and it’s rather cool this morning. Good, that is how I prefer it. Well, ok, I am trying to get beyond that. Hmm, maybe I’ll have to go all cheery and like the weather all the time (which I sort of do anyway, in spite of my sometimes stretched sometimes real gloom at times). Ok, I’ll do that but I do not have to act all cheery or admit to it. Yes, that is the ticket. Do not go there, I save some space for backsliding a bit, energy and mood reserves, and just being somewhat ornery, obstinate, cantankerous, and dark. It is not a bad thing. Not one of my favorites scotches, cigarettes, cigars, or lady friends has ever been without serious bite. Even my cats have been, hmmm, in the realm of near feral. Although it seems my past German Shepherds and preferred pipe tobacco reflect my more serious formal smooth lawful ways, go figure.
It is time to move. I will put on 22 ounces of French press espresso and that should hit the “do not touch that button” button. Have a great Sunday. I hope you find a way to give God his dues, as your faith and ability allow. He does not need us, but like any father, it brings him no small joy to see us and receive our humble gifts. I’m taking him my feeble works, attitude, fears, and hopes, and both my good and bad, which will go into the plate with some ducks. He cares for us wholly, even better than Rocky does his fish, no remainders and He is not destructive. I wonder if he watches football?
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