.
.
Up before 8:00 again. Sleep was a little off last night. I couldn't tell you why. I did let the girls sleep with me and on cooler nights they tend to crowd me. I had my bedroom windows open and it was rather cool. Coffee is already on, just a half a pot if I do use three dosers and change for six cups, which ends up being just one of my cups. I may start just setting the thing up at night, setting the timer to have coffee waiting first thing when I wake up. It seems like common sense save that usually I have no idea when I will actually be climbing out of bed. While cold coffee is fine, for me, beyond not knowing when I will be getting up I may well forget there is even coffee out there in some of my stupors. Still, for now, I think that is the plan. Who knows, maybe coffee will be my ticket to regularity.
The sun is out this morning for the first time in... days! I have enjoyed this cool weather, it may well be the last of the truly cool we get for the summer. Now temps will be riding the higher trend until they start hitting the hundreds. At least it will be drying out. Sleep may become impaired due to the heat. I really need to think about a way to cool the house just a bit more. While I can, for the most part save the absolute hottest days, keep the house below 80 in here, or 20 degrees cooler than the outside, that still gets a bit tight. If I could cool the place to 72 it would feel actually almost chill. Even just having a single room cool would help, definitely for sleeping or naps. I'm thinking on it. The good thing about the heat is it does get me going, work wise. So I actually don't think I would want central air even if I could afford it. Like a ship with sails, I merely need to learn to capture that heat energy, which takes focus. I need sleep to focus. And heat can be an extreme deterrent to sleep. There is always a catch. Last summer was the best summer in my history. This summer? I hope to make it even better! If the trend continues, next summer I will build an extra house out back! :p
Memorial day, huh? I have always said that I celebrate important holidays every day of the year. Christmas and Easter are every day celebrations, if too I do like the notion of them having their own day. But memorial day is probably the most everyday holiday for me. So many people have been lost to time and death for me personally. Almost everyone I ever knew is gone one way or another and I knew a lot of people. And I do think of all the men who have died for this country. In part because, no matter what, this country has been good to me in many ways. I don't always claim to be America, I don't. After looking at that notion more closely though I realize that it is simply because I am ill and that illness keeps me detached. While I have my fears for her future, I do think America has been an exceptional nation among nations and through history. May her flag fly forever, and may those colors and the sacrifices made by many men for her flag mean freedom so long as our flag flies.
Have a great day.
Monday, May 28, 2012
Sunday, May 27, 2012
Weird.
.
.
The last few nights I have simply been able to get to bed at a reasonable hour, and stay up during the day after rising early enough for my tastes. I am not even trying, if I have been setting the alarm clocks just as a booster. The days have been overcast and cool, too. I am not getting much done but I did work a goodly bit (for me) for a couple of days in a row. Further, I have cranked up the medicine. I can't tell if this is a fluke, the medicine, more sun (even if I can't see it), or what. I only know that this is the type of schedule that most of you do naturally almost every day. For me to get that little bit of a taste of normalcy is like you finding $1k to $10k somewhere, or receiving something like that. It is a rare, very rare treat.
I do hope to keep it going. If I can find my feet while in a day schedule, I might begin planning to attend Mass again a bit more regularly. I might be able to get my home in order again. I could see myself to more work on the projects. For right now I just want to cement this schedule into place as much as possible. My first steps at beginning to use the day schedule, or even a regular schedule, will be Tuesday.
The plan that day is to go to town, preferably rather early. Then to get the digger bar, return the hydrant, and get aspirin for my medicine regimen, have a lunch either in town or grab something on my way home. Then, chill for a few hours after the meal and get to digging. The digger bar would make it a lot easier for me to carve out the next step in the pit. As is, the handled pick would be a little odd to wield in the tight space, down on the that first platform I dug down to create. It might take me a day or two to dig that next step. After that, I would like to continue by digging down into the hole. I need about a foot, I should think, below the pipe, for gravel, to allow the hydrant to drain properly. I am, I think, getting stronger. Not by leaps and bounds but in a slow progression. Stamina is a pain to increase.
The trash does not, it turns out, need to be put out tonight. So, simply, I won't. But I do plan to do that earlier in the day tomorrow. I hemmed and hawed and now it is bed time. At just a bit after 23:00 I am beyond ready for sleep. I don't know why I am receiving this gift of good sleep and solid days. I just know I am pleased as punch and grateful to know even this humble pleasure. Something I realized, remembered, is that when I have a woman in my life, she has always regulated my days and nights to a great degree. I have always liked sleeping with my woman. And I won't be with a woman I don't like a fair amount of time together with during the day. That last one was weened on a dill pickle, and showed it quite often. If too I enjoyed even that, mostly.
Yeah, a woman, a wife, would... help. It's odd how much having a woman to love helps. I like to think I helped them as much, and I think they would agree. I honestly do. I'm not always pleasant, and I won't tolerate bullshit or doublespeak, and even with that I'm solid to a woman. Yeah. Marriage, prayer, it's all coming together. I've decided I don't have shame for even the worst of my sexual history (none of it was any worse than having a one-night stand with a married woman with a girlfriend/fiancee at home though (oh yes, there is much worse out there, if too that is quite bad enough)). What I feel, oddly, is sadness. I am sad that I missed out on having a long life with a woman, growing old with her, and having someone who knew everything and still mostly liked and loved me and me likewise. It's sad. So, I best get off my sad ass and get busy fixing that.
Good night.
.
The last few nights I have simply been able to get to bed at a reasonable hour, and stay up during the day after rising early enough for my tastes. I am not even trying, if I have been setting the alarm clocks just as a booster. The days have been overcast and cool, too. I am not getting much done but I did work a goodly bit (for me) for a couple of days in a row. Further, I have cranked up the medicine. I can't tell if this is a fluke, the medicine, more sun (even if I can't see it), or what. I only know that this is the type of schedule that most of you do naturally almost every day. For me to get that little bit of a taste of normalcy is like you finding $1k to $10k somewhere, or receiving something like that. It is a rare, very rare treat.
I do hope to keep it going. If I can find my feet while in a day schedule, I might begin planning to attend Mass again a bit more regularly. I might be able to get my home in order again. I could see myself to more work on the projects. For right now I just want to cement this schedule into place as much as possible. My first steps at beginning to use the day schedule, or even a regular schedule, will be Tuesday.
The plan that day is to go to town, preferably rather early. Then to get the digger bar, return the hydrant, and get aspirin for my medicine regimen, have a lunch either in town or grab something on my way home. Then, chill for a few hours after the meal and get to digging. The digger bar would make it a lot easier for me to carve out the next step in the pit. As is, the handled pick would be a little odd to wield in the tight space, down on the that first platform I dug down to create. It might take me a day or two to dig that next step. After that, I would like to continue by digging down into the hole. I need about a foot, I should think, below the pipe, for gravel, to allow the hydrant to drain properly. I am, I think, getting stronger. Not by leaps and bounds but in a slow progression. Stamina is a pain to increase.
The trash does not, it turns out, need to be put out tonight. So, simply, I won't. But I do plan to do that earlier in the day tomorrow. I hemmed and hawed and now it is bed time. At just a bit after 23:00 I am beyond ready for sleep. I don't know why I am receiving this gift of good sleep and solid days. I just know I am pleased as punch and grateful to know even this humble pleasure. Something I realized, remembered, is that when I have a woman in my life, she has always regulated my days and nights to a great degree. I have always liked sleeping with my woman. And I won't be with a woman I don't like a fair amount of time together with during the day. That last one was weened on a dill pickle, and showed it quite often. If too I enjoyed even that, mostly.
Yeah, a woman, a wife, would... help. It's odd how much having a woman to love helps. I like to think I helped them as much, and I think they would agree. I honestly do. I'm not always pleasant, and I won't tolerate bullshit or doublespeak, and even with that I'm solid to a woman. Yeah. Marriage, prayer, it's all coming together. I've decided I don't have shame for even the worst of my sexual history (none of it was any worse than having a one-night stand with a married woman with a girlfriend/fiancee at home though (oh yes, there is much worse out there, if too that is quite bad enough)). What I feel, oddly, is sadness. I am sad that I missed out on having a long life with a woman, growing old with her, and having someone who knew everything and still mostly liked and loved me and me likewise. It's sad. So, I best get off my sad ass and get busy fixing that.
Good night.
Men and wine?
.
.
While reading a recent blog that deals out advice for men I saw, what I hope, was a joke about an article regarding men ordering wine as a means of attracting better women. Now, I can't be sure, since the post regarding the article was rather straight lipped. But when the the post went on and on about men not drinking beer, that ordering wine was the thing, I kept getting this funny feeling that my leg was being pulled. And I hope it was. Either that of the author was back, fresh from a "Be Beta or Less" seminar.
No, wine is fine. For home consumption, on rare occasions such as high dining with the dame de delight, or just as a rare thing just because. But for social events I will sooth my taste buds and nerves if needed with a bit o' barley and hops in a glass sans glass preferably. Further, while looking for a mate, I am not going to give up my choices to hope to please some unknown potential Miss or even Misses. It won't happen. She will know who and what I am up front. I suggested if the men were going to begin kowtowing to some anonymous woman's wishes before they even meet her perhaps they ought to just hand her their junk, car keys, house, and whatever else she will take in the divorce.
Now one commenter piped in about how elegant ordering wine is to a potential mate. He, of course, has an income double the baseline wealthy, at least. No, I won't jump on that. If you have it, great. What I will say is when you have the kind of money to self select, you can do pretty much whatever your pampered butt wants. But in real America, in any of the bars or joints I've been in, if you order wine and you are male, you might as well do it in a dress. Further, one thing you will note? Kings, Emperors, Clergy, and academics on stage... all do wear dresses, essentially. Oh, call it what you will. It is a sign of power to do what would get a common man beat in the street for doing. Lets not play games.
If you don't have the money, power, fame, or some combinations of such, don't try to pull off some things. Don't. Even then be careful where you try it. I doubt if he has been in a bar where the drinks cost less than an average hourly wage, as a regular patron and ordering wine anyway, in... maybe never. While I did learn to do my own thing, and became handily powerful enough to enforce my ability to do so, I also learned that there are limits for the common boy and man. I would love to see him forced to live on my income, in my world, and try ordering wine at my joints. I don't know if he was serious, which would mean he is delusional about much of the real world... or was joking to see who would play along... or what.
Beside that, as I said, if you like beer, drink beer. If you happen to like wine, fine, do that, but be a little discrete about it. Just know there may be real social hits. And just because some woman prefers wine drinkers? Don't think all, or even a majority, or just the pretty ones do. Be yourself, do your thing up to a point, that is all. Some people's kids...
.
While reading a recent blog that deals out advice for men I saw, what I hope, was a joke about an article regarding men ordering wine as a means of attracting better women. Now, I can't be sure, since the post regarding the article was rather straight lipped. But when the the post went on and on about men not drinking beer, that ordering wine was the thing, I kept getting this funny feeling that my leg was being pulled. And I hope it was. Either that of the author was back, fresh from a "Be Beta or Less" seminar.
No, wine is fine. For home consumption, on rare occasions such as high dining with the dame de delight, or just as a rare thing just because. But for social events I will sooth my taste buds and nerves if needed with a bit o' barley and hops in a glass sans glass preferably. Further, while looking for a mate, I am not going to give up my choices to hope to please some unknown potential Miss or even Misses. It won't happen. She will know who and what I am up front. I suggested if the men were going to begin kowtowing to some anonymous woman's wishes before they even meet her perhaps they ought to just hand her their junk, car keys, house, and whatever else she will take in the divorce.
Now one commenter piped in about how elegant ordering wine is to a potential mate. He, of course, has an income double the baseline wealthy, at least. No, I won't jump on that. If you have it, great. What I will say is when you have the kind of money to self select, you can do pretty much whatever your pampered butt wants. But in real America, in any of the bars or joints I've been in, if you order wine and you are male, you might as well do it in a dress. Further, one thing you will note? Kings, Emperors, Clergy, and academics on stage... all do wear dresses, essentially. Oh, call it what you will. It is a sign of power to do what would get a common man beat in the street for doing. Lets not play games.
If you don't have the money, power, fame, or some combinations of such, don't try to pull off some things. Don't. Even then be careful where you try it. I doubt if he has been in a bar where the drinks cost less than an average hourly wage, as a regular patron and ordering wine anyway, in... maybe never. While I did learn to do my own thing, and became handily powerful enough to enforce my ability to do so, I also learned that there are limits for the common boy and man. I would love to see him forced to live on my income, in my world, and try ordering wine at my joints. I don't know if he was serious, which would mean he is delusional about much of the real world... or was joking to see who would play along... or what.
Beside that, as I said, if you like beer, drink beer. If you happen to like wine, fine, do that, but be a little discrete about it. Just know there may be real social hits. And just because some woman prefers wine drinkers? Don't think all, or even a majority, or just the pretty ones do. Be yourself, do your thing up to a point, that is all. Some people's kids...
Memorial Day.
.
.
I really don't like this holiday. No, it's good to remember family, friends, and even associates who have died. It is good to celebrate life, and the bittersweet part of it that is love and love lost. It is good to get together with family and friends and have a small feast. For me, I remember some of the lost every other day it seems. I enjoy life as I live it. And every meal is a feast for me. Still, I'm not a working stiff, I won't begrudge you all. So, enjoy it!
The weather has closed in. I suppose I could still figure out how to fire up the grill and get something grilled, just because. And I might too. I might even drive into town later, whenever I get my legs under me, and see if there is anything good to eat. Nothing fancy, nothing special, something however that I might be able to make mostly rare. I love the outside seared sometimes, just to fool my eyes. Or, really, fool the eyes of other people. Even my chuck roast is sometimes cooked that way.
Sleep has been great. Getting to bed has been so natural lately, even with the overcast days. I am getting to bed before midnight and waking before 8:00, if this morning it did take the first alarm clock to get me ready, and the threat of the 8:00 alarm to get me up by 7:30. A pot of coffee is on, and I put the whole pot of beans on the heater. That is lunch and dinner, if I might cook an egg. If I do get to town, I will probably grill tomorrow. I am on the higher dose of medicine, finally, too. If, in two weeks, I am normalized on the stuff and bp is still not coming down I may consider adding just a bit more. The doctors want double the amount I am taking, and possibly even more, so me creeping up isn't a problem. For me, I just have to watch out for medicinal wipe-out. That is worse than even my occasional crashes, deeper, darker, blanker. And, while I am not extremely active, I am keeping some things... at least in the queue. I am doing a few small things. I am keeping fed, mostly. All good, it keeps the door open from my side, so when an opportunity knocks I have a chance to scramble to it.
With this weekend I have taken all bets off the table and am just enjoying some down time. But conscious downtime, and there is a big difference. If you push, and nothing moves, but you are sweating and cursing and sore, did you do any work? A physicist will tell you that you did not. God knows I did. I need some time, sometimes, where I am simply leaning. That is this time.
I hope you have a great weekend. Get out with family, friends, co-workers, or even join me in the virtual slacker lounge. I might even join you in a beer or two. I think I have some olives left for a beertini. Love those myself. Hmm, a snifter of scotch after a grilled meal tomorrow would be nice. My bottle is feeling a bit neglected. May your memories be powerful, moving, and every bit as bitter and sweet as you can handle. There is nothing wrong with that.
.
I really don't like this holiday. No, it's good to remember family, friends, and even associates who have died. It is good to celebrate life, and the bittersweet part of it that is love and love lost. It is good to get together with family and friends and have a small feast. For me, I remember some of the lost every other day it seems. I enjoy life as I live it. And every meal is a feast for me. Still, I'm not a working stiff, I won't begrudge you all. So, enjoy it!
The weather has closed in. I suppose I could still figure out how to fire up the grill and get something grilled, just because. And I might too. I might even drive into town later, whenever I get my legs under me, and see if there is anything good to eat. Nothing fancy, nothing special, something however that I might be able to make mostly rare. I love the outside seared sometimes, just to fool my eyes. Or, really, fool the eyes of other people. Even my chuck roast is sometimes cooked that way.
Sleep has been great. Getting to bed has been so natural lately, even with the overcast days. I am getting to bed before midnight and waking before 8:00, if this morning it did take the first alarm clock to get me ready, and the threat of the 8:00 alarm to get me up by 7:30. A pot of coffee is on, and I put the whole pot of beans on the heater. That is lunch and dinner, if I might cook an egg. If I do get to town, I will probably grill tomorrow. I am on the higher dose of medicine, finally, too. If, in two weeks, I am normalized on the stuff and bp is still not coming down I may consider adding just a bit more. The doctors want double the amount I am taking, and possibly even more, so me creeping up isn't a problem. For me, I just have to watch out for medicinal wipe-out. That is worse than even my occasional crashes, deeper, darker, blanker. And, while I am not extremely active, I am keeping some things... at least in the queue. I am doing a few small things. I am keeping fed, mostly. All good, it keeps the door open from my side, so when an opportunity knocks I have a chance to scramble to it.
With this weekend I have taken all bets off the table and am just enjoying some down time. But conscious downtime, and there is a big difference. If you push, and nothing moves, but you are sweating and cursing and sore, did you do any work? A physicist will tell you that you did not. God knows I did. I need some time, sometimes, where I am simply leaning. That is this time.
I hope you have a great weekend. Get out with family, friends, co-workers, or even join me in the virtual slacker lounge. I might even join you in a beer or two. I think I have some olives left for a beertini. Love those myself. Hmm, a snifter of scotch after a grilled meal tomorrow would be nice. My bottle is feeling a bit neglected. May your memories be powerful, moving, and every bit as bitter and sweet as you can handle. There is nothing wrong with that.
Saturday, May 26, 2012
Fighting.
.
.
Just the other day I watched two boys tussle. Before that I saw some boys in a physical debate. In neither case was the issue settled. None of the boys really knew a thing about fighting. My instinct was to instruct. Some number of unnamed aspects of my mind told me to bite my lip and to 'keep it shut'. I could, technically, teach these boys how to block, throw a punch, and get their minds activated. I could teach them many things. How to stand, how to grab, how to use the arm or leg of their opponent, or even his mass or momentum if that might take just a bit longer to get set in. Yes, much. I could make them into fearsome young combatants. They were not my children. For several reasons, teaching them would be wrong. Who knows what the sensibilities of the parents are, though most likely they do not want their boys learning combat skills beyond what they get in roughhousing. I don't have the authority, nor would I request it.
I realize that most grown men grew up without ever having actually fought a fight to a conclusion. Few are those who know the very basics of fighting. They don't know how much a punch hurts, nor how to deal with the pain. Schools have cracked down, parents who are too busy crack down so as to have hassle free children. While some boys go ahead, what I found in my fights is that quite often even bullies have very poor skills. The elite usually have even less. Imagine declawing a cat, then putting it outdoors. Wouldn't that be cruel? That is what is being done to men in this country. Civility is fine, but it is just one aspect. And it shouldn't be the only one for men for many reasons. Civility, when dominant in men, means surrender. And it shows in this nation.
Should I have boys, they will learn to fight. They will learn to defend themselves. They will learn that size doesn't matter, with some attention to detail and using the brain as the primary fighting tool. Having fought, for the most part, older and bigger boys, and sometimes in multiples, I know what it means to stand up against the odds. As it discusses in the bible, just show up, God does the work. Or, that is how it seemed at times. Of course, if you can avoid the fight, all the better. God may be with you but He leaves the bruises, bloody lip, and sore hands. There is a time to fight, and if you do your best to live an honest life, and you find yourself fighting, most likely you didn't get to choose the time. My boys would be prepared.
Was it public school, as a rule, that has broken the will of American men? Was it feminism, medicine, psychology, a combination, or something else? Men used to learn these things. They learned the pecking order, when to challenge it, and how. Men are lost in this world, not because they have changed but because the world has changed. Too much wealth? To much of an emphasis on peace? I don't know. And while I don't want my sons to go through what I went through I also don't want them to be like the boys that give up everything to the bully, to include their dignity. My boys won't be Democrats by design, or sit to pee.
Just... thinking. Oh, the wife will learn to shoot, should I find one. A decent 9 mm will be hers, if I might start her out with a .38 special. One thing I have noticed, either with hand or arms is that when someone steps into the league of self assurance they become a lot less unstable, a lot less hostile, and much more security minded. They do not wander into bad areas "without thinking". They don't go out at night "looking for fun". They don't involve themselves in the business of people who they shouldn't even speak to. Yes, and that is right.
Yes, just thinking.
.
Just the other day I watched two boys tussle. Before that I saw some boys in a physical debate. In neither case was the issue settled. None of the boys really knew a thing about fighting. My instinct was to instruct. Some number of unnamed aspects of my mind told me to bite my lip and to 'keep it shut'. I could, technically, teach these boys how to block, throw a punch, and get their minds activated. I could teach them many things. How to stand, how to grab, how to use the arm or leg of their opponent, or even his mass or momentum if that might take just a bit longer to get set in. Yes, much. I could make them into fearsome young combatants. They were not my children. For several reasons, teaching them would be wrong. Who knows what the sensibilities of the parents are, though most likely they do not want their boys learning combat skills beyond what they get in roughhousing. I don't have the authority, nor would I request it.
I realize that most grown men grew up without ever having actually fought a fight to a conclusion. Few are those who know the very basics of fighting. They don't know how much a punch hurts, nor how to deal with the pain. Schools have cracked down, parents who are too busy crack down so as to have hassle free children. While some boys go ahead, what I found in my fights is that quite often even bullies have very poor skills. The elite usually have even less. Imagine declawing a cat, then putting it outdoors. Wouldn't that be cruel? That is what is being done to men in this country. Civility is fine, but it is just one aspect. And it shouldn't be the only one for men for many reasons. Civility, when dominant in men, means surrender. And it shows in this nation.
Should I have boys, they will learn to fight. They will learn to defend themselves. They will learn that size doesn't matter, with some attention to detail and using the brain as the primary fighting tool. Having fought, for the most part, older and bigger boys, and sometimes in multiples, I know what it means to stand up against the odds. As it discusses in the bible, just show up, God does the work. Or, that is how it seemed at times. Of course, if you can avoid the fight, all the better. God may be with you but He leaves the bruises, bloody lip, and sore hands. There is a time to fight, and if you do your best to live an honest life, and you find yourself fighting, most likely you didn't get to choose the time. My boys would be prepared.
Was it public school, as a rule, that has broken the will of American men? Was it feminism, medicine, psychology, a combination, or something else? Men used to learn these things. They learned the pecking order, when to challenge it, and how. Men are lost in this world, not because they have changed but because the world has changed. Too much wealth? To much of an emphasis on peace? I don't know. And while I don't want my sons to go through what I went through I also don't want them to be like the boys that give up everything to the bully, to include their dignity. My boys won't be Democrats by design, or sit to pee.
Just... thinking. Oh, the wife will learn to shoot, should I find one. A decent 9 mm will be hers, if I might start her out with a .38 special. One thing I have noticed, either with hand or arms is that when someone steps into the league of self assurance they become a lot less unstable, a lot less hostile, and much more security minded. They do not wander into bad areas "without thinking". They don't go out at night "looking for fun". They don't involve themselves in the business of people who they shouldn't even speak to. Yes, and that is right.
Yes, just thinking.
Storms and turtles?
.
.
Yeah, they have something in common. Slow moving storms anyway. They are both faster than me at times! Bah!
I've been sitting here watching a storm roll in. I've been meaning to get to things. I have. It wasn't until 11:30 that I finally got a pot of coffee on. Then it wasn't until 12:30 before I finally ate, after starving all morning, then got a cup of coffee. The train is more a wreck than arolling. I can't seem to focus, get going, something. Two days of work may be the problem. Like it or not I have absolute limits. I stretched those too. The storm is nearly here, looking and feeling more like a fall storm and day.
I did, finally, get my medicine dispenser set back up. I even tried to call the V.A. about medicines I am running short on. Holiday? Oh, wait, yeah, it's Saturday. Monday will be a holiday though, as I now see. So, Tuesday, if I remember, I need to call in refills. Yes, there is a way to do it automatically but it seems I am using medicine prescribed by other than my SLC doctors. I must have used the newer stuff first and am now into medicine from a previous doctor. Oh, never mind, just... So, the numbers on them won't get me new medicine is what that boils down to. And I did go ahead and double the carvedilol. I'm nervous about taking it. That's probably what made me stall in setting up the medicine right when I should have.
I may still make my way into town to get the digger bar and take back the hydrant. I may yet dig, before the storm races the turtle here. But probably neither will go forth today, tomorrow, or Monday. No, Tuesday may be my next real work day. Which, all in all, is just fine. I probably do need a break. Sad as it is, that is as good as it gets. For now. Although I am considering, after this bit of digging, to begin a trench from the front to the back of my house in order to connect the two water systems. A half an hour of picking and digging a few times a week would be good for me, and it is a project I want done. Though, actually, after this pit is dug I need to get my room cleared and figured out the bathroom first. Then I can start the other dig and some other things. The code frost depth for Logan is 30 inches. I don't mind an extra six inches for a little more surety though. That is the plan, three feet deep.
By that time I will have done a bit of copper pipe soldering, and when I get all the pipes where I want them, I can probably do all of the pipe work I want all at once. That should make a tidier job of the whole thing. I also want to put in the "y" connection to before and after the water softener for a new outside faucet on the east side of my house (wash vehicles with softened water, water plants with straight tap water). Doing it all at once might even save me some pipe while costing nothing extra in fittings. Even a slug can dream. And, like today, dreaming is all I have.
Have a good Saturday.
.
Yeah, they have something in common. Slow moving storms anyway. They are both faster than me at times! Bah!
I've been sitting here watching a storm roll in. I've been meaning to get to things. I have. It wasn't until 11:30 that I finally got a pot of coffee on. Then it wasn't until 12:30 before I finally ate, after starving all morning, then got a cup of coffee. The train is more a wreck than arolling. I can't seem to focus, get going, something. Two days of work may be the problem. Like it or not I have absolute limits. I stretched those too. The storm is nearly here, looking and feeling more like a fall storm and day.
I did, finally, get my medicine dispenser set back up. I even tried to call the V.A. about medicines I am running short on. Holiday? Oh, wait, yeah, it's Saturday. Monday will be a holiday though, as I now see. So, Tuesday, if I remember, I need to call in refills. Yes, there is a way to do it automatically but it seems I am using medicine prescribed by other than my SLC doctors. I must have used the newer stuff first and am now into medicine from a previous doctor. Oh, never mind, just... So, the numbers on them won't get me new medicine is what that boils down to. And I did go ahead and double the carvedilol. I'm nervous about taking it. That's probably what made me stall in setting up the medicine right when I should have.
I may still make my way into town to get the digger bar and take back the hydrant. I may yet dig, before the storm races the turtle here. But probably neither will go forth today, tomorrow, or Monday. No, Tuesday may be my next real work day. Which, all in all, is just fine. I probably do need a break. Sad as it is, that is as good as it gets. For now. Although I am considering, after this bit of digging, to begin a trench from the front to the back of my house in order to connect the two water systems. A half an hour of picking and digging a few times a week would be good for me, and it is a project I want done. Though, actually, after this pit is dug I need to get my room cleared and figured out the bathroom first. Then I can start the other dig and some other things. The code frost depth for Logan is 30 inches. I don't mind an extra six inches for a little more surety though. That is the plan, three feet deep.
By that time I will have done a bit of copper pipe soldering, and when I get all the pipes where I want them, I can probably do all of the pipe work I want all at once. That should make a tidier job of the whole thing. I also want to put in the "y" connection to before and after the water softener for a new outside faucet on the east side of my house (wash vehicles with softened water, water plants with straight tap water). Doing it all at once might even save me some pipe while costing nothing extra in fittings. Even a slug can dream. And, like today, dreaming is all I have.
Have a good Saturday.
Up and at it.
.
.
To bed by 22:30, asleep by 23:00 I should think, then up at 6:30. That is close enough to the times anyway. I set the alarms for 7:00 and 8:00, just in case. It was a cool night and I left the windows open, that can make waking difficult. I'm not sore today either. And, oddly, no blisters. I used gloves two days ago when I shoveled, but not yesterday. And I have done more shoveling those two times each than I did the first time. Of course, I still don't think I've done enough work to deserve blisters, it's just that logic should seem to dictate that I would get more blisters since I haven't formed calluses. I will get more digging in today. I may have to dig another foot back before I can reasonably make another step platform down. My problem is that at my size I need more room to work, somehow. But before I get to that I may make a run into town to get that digger bar. I forgot the heart-dosed aspirin too, which would be good to have. And buying a couple of containers would be good. I am all out. Big plastic containers for beans or whatever.
The morning is cool, perhaps nearing cold. I will have to push it a bit to get going. A shower and getting dressed really does take care of the cold, especially since the day will warm some. Sun, clouds, and possible rain are all vying for control. Hmm, a pot of coffee might be good too. I might just start making half a pot, and have that as a standard morning thing. A full pot is a bit much, though it sure puts some spit back in the old dried out bones once in a while. Hot coffee is best when it's cool, but in hot times I can just ice it down. Yeah, I know, purists everywhere are gagging on that notion. But... have you ever tried it? With ice, whole whipping cream, and a sweetener of your choice, it makes quite a nice cool drink on a hot summer day.
I can't tell you what the dreams have been about, exactly. But I have been dreaming. I know they have centered on women. Women, women, women, and more women. I don't think they have been erotic in nature, more about the interplay between women and myself. I didn't wake up agitated, dispirited, or such, and remember none of that either. It is more that my mind seems to be... recalling the past and looking at things it wants to use in the future maybe? It's been pleasant, basically, though too. Women are a real treasure. Yeah, I know, I talk about their faults. Yeah. And I have my doubts, sure, true. But never think I hate women. Think of it this way. Is gold precious? Would you love a ton of it, and more? Would you be willing to start randomly digging in a mountain to try to find it? See, that's the deal. Even when you find a vein, you still have to dig. You have to maintain the mine so it doesn't collapse for at least two reasons. You may have to mitigate flooding, you need to check for gas buildup while you are working, and then you have to worry about other people getting the gold once you find it and after you have extracted it and then purified it. It's a load of work. Women are like that. From a man's point of view. I'd honestly be curious about a woman's perspective on women. Okay, I lie. But go for it if you think you can.
I did wake in a bit of a foul mood, unrelated to dreaming though. Given a bit of time I usually pop out of that. Just... leave me alone for a bit, I have told my women in the past. Let my brain reconfigure to consciousness and I become much more pleasant to deal with. The smart ones would leave me alone, or better bring me a cup of coffee then go. Coming back in a bit yields much better interactions. Don't start jabbering about things I can't comprehend as soon as my feet hit the floor. Don't. I don't care if the house is on fire. Don't. The day can then be planned, business attended, a little morning flirtation, perhaps a little more if we were on the same page, then on to whatever else there was to do. I can be a big baby. And I'm good with that. Still, with women, what I realized, is that we take turns being the big baby. The trick is to find a woman who can tolerate my big baby mode, and whose big baby mode is in areas I myself can tolerate, and that we don't become big babies at the same time or for the same events. If done right, everyone gets pampered and powdered pretty much on call, but then gets on with life. Yeah, life with women can be quite good, with a little work, some negotiating, if both parties are interested in making it happen. Ah, but my mood has definitely improved. Both kittehs know it and are crowding me now. Angry gorilla to teddy bear, they like it all though too. They add contrast for the relationship, and are unavoidable in any case so one might as well enjoy them. Either that or they consider me a nice warm place upon which to perch. Love is never just one thing though, it's a whole bunch of things put together, time, the reals, the seen, and the unseen. Some of it is simply unknown, possibly unknowable.
Hmm, on to... something. Coffee! Later.
.
To bed by 22:30, asleep by 23:00 I should think, then up at 6:30. That is close enough to the times anyway. I set the alarms for 7:00 and 8:00, just in case. It was a cool night and I left the windows open, that can make waking difficult. I'm not sore today either. And, oddly, no blisters. I used gloves two days ago when I shoveled, but not yesterday. And I have done more shoveling those two times each than I did the first time. Of course, I still don't think I've done enough work to deserve blisters, it's just that logic should seem to dictate that I would get more blisters since I haven't formed calluses. I will get more digging in today. I may have to dig another foot back before I can reasonably make another step platform down. My problem is that at my size I need more room to work, somehow. But before I get to that I may make a run into town to get that digger bar. I forgot the heart-dosed aspirin too, which would be good to have. And buying a couple of containers would be good. I am all out. Big plastic containers for beans or whatever.
The morning is cool, perhaps nearing cold. I will have to push it a bit to get going. A shower and getting dressed really does take care of the cold, especially since the day will warm some. Sun, clouds, and possible rain are all vying for control. Hmm, a pot of coffee might be good too. I might just start making half a pot, and have that as a standard morning thing. A full pot is a bit much, though it sure puts some spit back in the old dried out bones once in a while. Hot coffee is best when it's cool, but in hot times I can just ice it down. Yeah, I know, purists everywhere are gagging on that notion. But... have you ever tried it? With ice, whole whipping cream, and a sweetener of your choice, it makes quite a nice cool drink on a hot summer day.
I can't tell you what the dreams have been about, exactly. But I have been dreaming. I know they have centered on women. Women, women, women, and more women. I don't think they have been erotic in nature, more about the interplay between women and myself. I didn't wake up agitated, dispirited, or such, and remember none of that either. It is more that my mind seems to be... recalling the past and looking at things it wants to use in the future maybe? It's been pleasant, basically, though too. Women are a real treasure. Yeah, I know, I talk about their faults. Yeah. And I have my doubts, sure, true. But never think I hate women. Think of it this way. Is gold precious? Would you love a ton of it, and more? Would you be willing to start randomly digging in a mountain to try to find it? See, that's the deal. Even when you find a vein, you still have to dig. You have to maintain the mine so it doesn't collapse for at least two reasons. You may have to mitigate flooding, you need to check for gas buildup while you are working, and then you have to worry about other people getting the gold once you find it and after you have extracted it and then purified it. It's a load of work. Women are like that. From a man's point of view. I'd honestly be curious about a woman's perspective on women. Okay, I lie. But go for it if you think you can.
I did wake in a bit of a foul mood, unrelated to dreaming though. Given a bit of time I usually pop out of that. Just... leave me alone for a bit, I have told my women in the past. Let my brain reconfigure to consciousness and I become much more pleasant to deal with. The smart ones would leave me alone, or better bring me a cup of coffee then go. Coming back in a bit yields much better interactions. Don't start jabbering about things I can't comprehend as soon as my feet hit the floor. Don't. I don't care if the house is on fire. Don't. The day can then be planned, business attended, a little morning flirtation, perhaps a little more if we were on the same page, then on to whatever else there was to do. I can be a big baby. And I'm good with that. Still, with women, what I realized, is that we take turns being the big baby. The trick is to find a woman who can tolerate my big baby mode, and whose big baby mode is in areas I myself can tolerate, and that we don't become big babies at the same time or for the same events. If done right, everyone gets pampered and powdered pretty much on call, but then gets on with life. Yeah, life with women can be quite good, with a little work, some negotiating, if both parties are interested in making it happen. Ah, but my mood has definitely improved. Both kittehs know it and are crowding me now. Angry gorilla to teddy bear, they like it all though too. They add contrast for the relationship, and are unavoidable in any case so one might as well enjoy them. Either that or they consider me a nice warm place upon which to perch. Love is never just one thing though, it's a whole bunch of things put together, time, the reals, the seen, and the unseen. Some of it is simply unknown, possibly unknowable.
Hmm, on to... something. Coffee! Later.
Friday, May 25, 2012
Remembering the schtick.
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Not so long ago, life was simple. Find a woman, make the moves, get her to ready, then do it. It's not difficult. However, for those who need more help, there is this. My thing is I used to do this in as little as an afternoon. Now I'm moving... a little slower. My aim has to be surer. This time it is for a keeper.
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Not so long ago, life was simple. Find a woman, make the moves, get her to ready, then do it. It's not difficult. However, for those who need more help, there is this. My thing is I used to do this in as little as an afternoon. Now I'm moving... a little slower. My aim has to be surer. This time it is for a keeper.
Half-assed.
.
.
My attempts at things are often just so. I do try. God knows. Even He must sometimes just say, damn but that boy is slow and dense! Well, it could've happened.
My friend called at 11:00. My phone was in the other room, however, and I did not hear it. At about 11:30 I realized there was a problem. I found my phone and realized what part of the problem was. So, I headed to town, with checks for deposit in hand, and a rough understanding of what I might need from the hardware store. I was going to deposit the checks then go to the grocery store to speak with the manager about some business for the KoC. By the time I deposited the checks it was potentially already lunch time for the manager I needed to speak with, according to a conversation with the other manager I had spoken with on Wednesday. So, I just called my friend, to let him know I would be arriving soon, and got over there.
After picking him up, we headed to the hardware store in question. I didn't bring the other hydrant in as the packaging is messed up. I may call and ask if they would still take it back. It's not too bad but it is rough (the hydrant is fine though). I picked up a hydrant with a five foot bury depth and looked for fittings. They didn't have most of what I needed so I decided to go to another hardware store for that. We went there and got what I needed quickly. Both my friend and myself were quite hungry by this time, so as we cast about for a place to eat, we hit upon just the place. It was nice and quiet, the food was very good, all good for a nice lunch. After that, a trip to a sporting store next door. He browsed reloading supplies and I looked over everything else, mostly. I then went to the grocery store, where I finally met with the correct manager, and got a tentative okay for the items of need for next Mother's Day. After that I dropped my friend at his place, told him to call if he didn't hear from me but wanted to go shooting, then headed home.
Beside, probably unwisely, not taking the other hydrant back, I also forgot to get a pole pick. It is like a pick, with both the pointed part and the chip side, but the functional parts are on each end of a heavy metal bar, part of the bar actually. That would help dig the actually hole part. Some things done, some parts that may or may not be what is needed, plumber's goop for the pipe fitting, but not everything. At least I did get out and dig some more. I may be at the end of that for today though. Still, I more than doubled the initial step now, taking out a three foot by three foot by three foot swath of earth in the last two days of picking and shoveling. Oh, I know, some guys would do that then get the next level shoveled and just be done with it. Though someone in my condition? I don't know. All I know is I have done what I could, if I probably could have done more at least shopping wise.
Still, that is better than all I have done in the last week or two. I'll take it. Perhaps I might sneak into town tomorrow and get that pole-pick. And, I will call one of the knights and let him know that fruit for next Mother's Day is tentatively a go. I have to check back with the manager at the first of the year, then probably a month before, then probably a week before Mother's Day... to keep him on track and get the request on the fast track. Still, this was a start. If this goes well I may well ask for fish, or vegetables, for our lenten meals and continue with Mother's Day, just get it on the schedule and planned. But no more. Two requests a year is quite enough.
Later.
.
My attempts at things are often just so. I do try. God knows. Even He must sometimes just say, damn but that boy is slow and dense! Well, it could've happened.
My friend called at 11:00. My phone was in the other room, however, and I did not hear it. At about 11:30 I realized there was a problem. I found my phone and realized what part of the problem was. So, I headed to town, with checks for deposit in hand, and a rough understanding of what I might need from the hardware store. I was going to deposit the checks then go to the grocery store to speak with the manager about some business for the KoC. By the time I deposited the checks it was potentially already lunch time for the manager I needed to speak with, according to a conversation with the other manager I had spoken with on Wednesday. So, I just called my friend, to let him know I would be arriving soon, and got over there.
After picking him up, we headed to the hardware store in question. I didn't bring the other hydrant in as the packaging is messed up. I may call and ask if they would still take it back. It's not too bad but it is rough (the hydrant is fine though). I picked up a hydrant with a five foot bury depth and looked for fittings. They didn't have most of what I needed so I decided to go to another hardware store for that. We went there and got what I needed quickly. Both my friend and myself were quite hungry by this time, so as we cast about for a place to eat, we hit upon just the place. It was nice and quiet, the food was very good, all good for a nice lunch. After that, a trip to a sporting store next door. He browsed reloading supplies and I looked over everything else, mostly. I then went to the grocery store, where I finally met with the correct manager, and got a tentative okay for the items of need for next Mother's Day. After that I dropped my friend at his place, told him to call if he didn't hear from me but wanted to go shooting, then headed home.
Beside, probably unwisely, not taking the other hydrant back, I also forgot to get a pole pick. It is like a pick, with both the pointed part and the chip side, but the functional parts are on each end of a heavy metal bar, part of the bar actually. That would help dig the actually hole part. Some things done, some parts that may or may not be what is needed, plumber's goop for the pipe fitting, but not everything. At least I did get out and dig some more. I may be at the end of that for today though. Still, I more than doubled the initial step now, taking out a three foot by three foot by three foot swath of earth in the last two days of picking and shoveling. Oh, I know, some guys would do that then get the next level shoveled and just be done with it. Though someone in my condition? I don't know. All I know is I have done what I could, if I probably could have done more at least shopping wise.
Still, that is better than all I have done in the last week or two. I'll take it. Perhaps I might sneak into town tomorrow and get that pole-pick. And, I will call one of the knights and let him know that fruit for next Mother's Day is tentatively a go. I have to check back with the manager at the first of the year, then probably a month before, then probably a week before Mother's Day... to keep him on track and get the request on the fast track. Still, this was a start. If this goes well I may well ask for fish, or vegetables, for our lenten meals and continue with Mother's Day, just get it on the schedule and planned. But no more. Two requests a year is quite enough.
Later.
Nice, really nice.
.
.
I did call my friend yesterday. I told him I needed to be in town today and that I would get him out if he wanted to go. It seems he would like to go. I then eased myself down into sleep, getting to bed shortly before midnight, hoping I would wake up at a reasonable hour. I didn't set the alarm. At 7:30 I popped out of bed like a trooper. A little sore but nothing that should keep me from more digging today. After getting to town that is. A stop at the bank to deposit some ducks, a visit to the grocery store for business not shopping, getting my friend for a day out, a visit to a hardware store, possibly something to eat in there somewhere. Then back home to hit some shoveling. It seems to be cloudy currently. My friend said, though, that it is supposed to hit 80 F today. I best try to get these things started early. I hope to be out by 10:30. Yeah, I'll still be working in hot temps, but I might be able to break my digging up into two shifts.
I am rather surprised that I am doing well. I didn't overdo too heavily yesterday it seems. Though medicine might be adding to function, at this point, rather than taking me down? I simply don't know. What the increased dosage will do is a whole other thing. It might be a few days to a week before I see the full effects. Or it might come as soon as tomorrow. I best do what I can today. Living in constant fear of freezing is no fun but that is what I have.
Have a great day.
.
I did call my friend yesterday. I told him I needed to be in town today and that I would get him out if he wanted to go. It seems he would like to go. I then eased myself down into sleep, getting to bed shortly before midnight, hoping I would wake up at a reasonable hour. I didn't set the alarm. At 7:30 I popped out of bed like a trooper. A little sore but nothing that should keep me from more digging today. After getting to town that is. A stop at the bank to deposit some ducks, a visit to the grocery store for business not shopping, getting my friend for a day out, a visit to a hardware store, possibly something to eat in there somewhere. Then back home to hit some shoveling. It seems to be cloudy currently. My friend said, though, that it is supposed to hit 80 F today. I best try to get these things started early. I hope to be out by 10:30. Yeah, I'll still be working in hot temps, but I might be able to break my digging up into two shifts.
I am rather surprised that I am doing well. I didn't overdo too heavily yesterday it seems. Though medicine might be adding to function, at this point, rather than taking me down? I simply don't know. What the increased dosage will do is a whole other thing. It might be a few days to a week before I see the full effects. Or it might come as soon as tomorrow. I best do what I can today. Living in constant fear of freezing is no fun but that is what I have.
Have a great day.
Thursday, May 24, 2012
Brett Kimberlin v. Stacey (The Other) McCain.
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I'm late. Or, am I? I noticed this meme going around. And, while I don't know Mr. Stacey The Other McCain personally, at all, I feel compelled to act. Well, once I figured out that I was, indeed, called to act. I do enjoy Stacey's work, I do appreciate his schtick, and I like what he does... respect his work like I used to (thought I did) respect newsmen in general. He is a real newshawk, not a shill for the left (or right, really). Besides, he lives the easy life of a working married man! *grins*
In any case, it seems Brett Kimberlin, a man with a seriously nasty criminal background, with a personality only a mother could recognize offhand and attempt to avoid, has decided that no one should know about his criminal history. To that end, he has gone so far as to be threatening enough in his actions to force Stacey, with family, out of their home until... things are settled. And Stacey is not the only one being threatened by this animal. Well, read more about it from Stacey, though I could link many other bloggers who have their own stories or who are also putting out the facts. This madness from the left has to be confronted, and stopped, and these behaviors nipped in the bud. Or, from this point. Though from now on we are going to have to act much more quickly to stamp out these little firestarters.
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I'm late. Or, am I? I noticed this meme going around. And, while I don't know Mr. Stacey The Other McCain personally, at all, I feel compelled to act. Well, once I figured out that I was, indeed, called to act. I do enjoy Stacey's work, I do appreciate his schtick, and I like what he does... respect his work like I used to (thought I did) respect newsmen in general. He is a real newshawk, not a shill for the left (or right, really). Besides, he lives the easy life of a working married man! *grins*
In any case, it seems Brett Kimberlin, a man with a seriously nasty criminal background, with a personality only a mother could recognize offhand and attempt to avoid, has decided that no one should know about his criminal history. To that end, he has gone so far as to be threatening enough in his actions to force Stacey, with family, out of their home until... things are settled. And Stacey is not the only one being threatened by this animal. Well, read more about it from Stacey, though I could link many other bloggers who have their own stories or who are also putting out the facts. This madness from the left has to be confronted, and stopped, and these behaviors nipped in the bud. Or, from this point. Though from now on we are going to have to act much more quickly to stamp out these little firestarters.
Not much.
.
.
It was almost going to be a nothing day again today. I saw a man arrive and head out back to dig. I hurried up and dressed to go out. It seems he has been coming over when I have been gone. I hadn't checked the hole in a bit, but he has dug the main shaft down, including today, about five feet deep. He found the pipe, finally, today. But to get it right I need to dig out another two or three feet down to the original depth of the extra part of the hole I dug, then dig that other part I dug down another two feet, in order that we can get to the pipes and work with them. After he left I go to it. I have about a third of what I need picked and shoveled but I... have limits. I hit my limit and kept going. I hit one more limit and kept going at a limp. I finally hit a brick wall. But I did dig, I picked, and moved some decent amount of dirt. I feel extremely guilty about... having a working man do my work. Any man really. But there is no way I could have done it all. On the good side, by looks, he thought I was 37, 39, maybe 40. He was just a bit surprised at my real age. Then again, he is only 10 years younger but looks more like he is in his mid 20's. Perhaps men have no idea about age? Nah, I was a bouncer. I got pretty good at that, and in dim lighting. Skills do fade though too.
That digging beat the dirt out of me. Tomorrow? I'll try and get back out there. I need to get into town. He told me what parts to get and I'll get them. If I can move. Then again I really don't hurt. I can usually tell by now if I am going to hurt. Muscles get really tight and stay that way. My neck feels pretty tight but the rest of me might be good. It's more a matter of reserves. Do I have any spit left. I simply don't know that, and won't until tomorrow. I will be calling my friend to see if he wants to get out tomorrow. We will be stopping at one of his favorite stores. I had thought to eat but I don't have enough spit for it. A big glass of milk, a shower, and to bed... after the call. Oh, right, I best set up my medicines for tomorrow. Hmm, while I am in town I will buy that heart friendly aspirin, or aspiring dosed for daily heart care.
It does feel good to work. And I had meant to do it. I'm just not sure. Hmm, in to town early, as early as I can, so I can get back to work on the hole, get those steps chunked out, before my helper returns. I just hate having a man do work for me after he has worked all day. Work means a lot more to me, in some ways, than it does to most. What you have the least of is the most precious. And yet, if nothing else, this takes his time. The thing he has the least of. I... just have to try and do at least my part, put in some effort, show that I'm not a complete invalid. If it kills me. And... I'll do it.
Good night.
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It was almost going to be a nothing day again today. I saw a man arrive and head out back to dig. I hurried up and dressed to go out. It seems he has been coming over when I have been gone. I hadn't checked the hole in a bit, but he has dug the main shaft down, including today, about five feet deep. He found the pipe, finally, today. But to get it right I need to dig out another two or three feet down to the original depth of the extra part of the hole I dug, then dig that other part I dug down another two feet, in order that we can get to the pipes and work with them. After he left I go to it. I have about a third of what I need picked and shoveled but I... have limits. I hit my limit and kept going. I hit one more limit and kept going at a limp. I finally hit a brick wall. But I did dig, I picked, and moved some decent amount of dirt. I feel extremely guilty about... having a working man do my work. Any man really. But there is no way I could have done it all. On the good side, by looks, he thought I was 37, 39, maybe 40. He was just a bit surprised at my real age. Then again, he is only 10 years younger but looks more like he is in his mid 20's. Perhaps men have no idea about age? Nah, I was a bouncer. I got pretty good at that, and in dim lighting. Skills do fade though too.
That digging beat the dirt out of me. Tomorrow? I'll try and get back out there. I need to get into town. He told me what parts to get and I'll get them. If I can move. Then again I really don't hurt. I can usually tell by now if I am going to hurt. Muscles get really tight and stay that way. My neck feels pretty tight but the rest of me might be good. It's more a matter of reserves. Do I have any spit left. I simply don't know that, and won't until tomorrow. I will be calling my friend to see if he wants to get out tomorrow. We will be stopping at one of his favorite stores. I had thought to eat but I don't have enough spit for it. A big glass of milk, a shower, and to bed... after the call. Oh, right, I best set up my medicines for tomorrow. Hmm, while I am in town I will buy that heart friendly aspirin, or aspiring dosed for daily heart care.
It does feel good to work. And I had meant to do it. I'm just not sure. Hmm, in to town early, as early as I can, so I can get back to work on the hole, get those steps chunked out, before my helper returns. I just hate having a man do work for me after he has worked all day. Work means a lot more to me, in some ways, than it does to most. What you have the least of is the most precious. And yet, if nothing else, this takes his time. The thing he has the least of. I... just have to try and do at least my part, put in some effort, show that I'm not a complete invalid. If it kills me. And... I'll do it.
Good night.
Good sleep, good God, good coffee.
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.
Oh yes, I've been on a roll with prayers, big and little. I try to take a good chunk of time before sleeping to pray. I spend time filling God in on what, who, where, when, and being thankful about the day and what I do have. As my mind and world begin to come together into some kind of a plan for whatever future I have, yeah... I'm making some other plans too. I pray on the road, often, because I am a road warrior. GET IN, GET OUT, THEN HOME! My mind keeps telling me when driving. I don't want to be on the roads with you any more than you want me riding your bumper looking for a place to pass when you are driving 55, or 45 to 53, or whatever, on a posted 60 road. Really! I want to pass you and be going 65. And, really, I would much rather be going 85 and just GET HOME, if I don't even when I can. HOME. Still, patience and such is sometimes all there is when ten vehicles between you and me decide you are driving fast enough for them.
I really had to consider coffee today. I have the old, of course. And, it was... okay. But I had fresh! I hate wasting money, product, etc. I'm not so much a spendthrift or an earth first guy, at all. I am an efficiency buff. Efficiency of economy, of action, of electrical power, and anything else. My whole life has been reduced to getting the very most out of the very least, simply because most frequently that is all I have. With trembling fingers, as they dropped the old coffee into the garbage, I sniffed a little and got to work grinding the new coffee for a fresh pot. Oh heaven! Yeah, okay, I can do it. And it was worth it. If I composted I would have felt better. As is, it just had to be done. The smell, the taste, yeah...
I had a dream last night. My friends, guy friends, and myself were having a "guy" party. Well, that is what we told our wives. There were a lot of hot women there, of course. Every once in a while though, we got all the (single hot) women to step out for just a bit, and used our smart phones to talk to our wives, walking around with the vid feed going, letting our wives talk to the other guys. Telling them how much fun guy bonding we were having. No wives really wanted to break that up, or show up. Then we would let the hot babes back in. Oh, yeah, I could see that back in the day, had I been married. The truth is I never lied to the women I was with. I didn't have to. They knew. The thing was no promises. Well, until I hit... what... the 30's, in practice, the mid 20's in principle? Yeah, something like that. Even then it was more to do with me than the woman. Having three or four women, on top of your main, call and harass you whenever they got a stick up there butt was a pain. Talk about slavery. Still, it was a... funny dream. The management doesn't approve, but it 'do know'. Still, I recommend not making promises you don't intend to keep, or can't keep. It's... the better part of foul valor, to my mind. Don't even think about telling me your conscience wouldn't allow it or even that your woman wouldn't. Don't. It's not that you are trying to use the wrong key, your using the wrong key at the wrong house. Go figure it out before you end up married, cheating, then angry at your wife for your failed promises, then divorced or in a horrible marriage.
Today is the day to decide whether to raise my dose of carvedilol or stick with the plan. I do believe I am going to up the dose. With my bp still running in the 194-215/124-133 range after two weeks of everything maxed save carvedilol, I simply don't think I have a choice. My bp has been running that hot for at least two months, since I started monitoring again. If I don't bring that down something is going to pop. All I need is another hole in the head, innit?
Today I am going to get out and try to pick and shovel. Just an half hour or so, if I can keep on it. I'll take a timer. Anything else I can manage to do will be good. A load or two of dishes, a load or two of laundry, and some picking up are on the agenda. Nothing fancy, nothing fast, and only the picking and shoveling as real work. Something I noticed recently... I truly despise 'little work', work that doesn't use my engines at something like full capacity. It takes more energy for me to do dishes, in a way, because I never work up to breaking a sweat, and can't. Same with laundry. My system just wasn't made for that kind of work. It is essential work. It makes the rest of what I do possible. But it is more annoying than a small swarm of gnats. If that were tended I would see myself to a lot more physical work. While that didn't happen in the past, the opportunity for physical work was not always available. Here, in my own home, it is. And I like to do it. But to do physical work I need food. And to get food, I need to shop and do cook. In order to cook and shop I need clean clothes and clean dishes, pots, pans, utensils, and the rest. That is the weak link in the chain. Yes, when my mother is here, for example, she takes care of the house so I can simply focus on stuff she can't do, or can't do well. A wife sure is seeming better and better.
Of course, there is a face that keeps coming to mind when I think about marriage. Oh, yes there is. I do believe what I wrote above has a lot to do with the problem some men have with marriage. But I can't quite think that is all of it. Women can be just as smart, crafty, object oriented, and fruitful in their efforts as any men, sometimes twice over within their limits. It's the insane side that I keep obsessing with. The piss tests ("Do these pants (skirt, dress, whatever) make my ass look big"... "Why yes, but I love big targets!"), the questions ("What are you thinking?"... "I'm trying not to think, please leave me to that ma'dear."), the paranoia, want for more than I am, horrendous mood changes, odd sex drives, and such that... Well, and that face. Oh, the face? Hmm, this man knows the face. If I think he... he has a goodly part in the making of that face. Then again, he probably just bought into the whole 'pretty face is good to marry, so whatever' thing. And he... obviously has some issues beyond that. Still... Heh. Now, I've never really had a broken heart but the other problems he discusses? I've never been married either.
Yep, another day another chance. All good. I have a goodly little bit of time to wake up, read the blogs, check on real news, and just tinker for a bit. I will probably need a nap by noon. Hopefully just a nap. And I should be able to get a number of bigger and smaller things done. Or... not. Time will tell. Hmm, oh, and there is my part of the mowing. Yes indeed. Sometime.
Have a good morning! Go to work with a smile, if you have to fake it so be it. It's worth the returns.
.
Oh yes, I've been on a roll with prayers, big and little. I try to take a good chunk of time before sleeping to pray. I spend time filling God in on what, who, where, when, and being thankful about the day and what I do have. As my mind and world begin to come together into some kind of a plan for whatever future I have, yeah... I'm making some other plans too. I pray on the road, often, because I am a road warrior. GET IN, GET OUT, THEN HOME! My mind keeps telling me when driving. I don't want to be on the roads with you any more than you want me riding your bumper looking for a place to pass when you are driving 55, or 45 to 53, or whatever, on a posted 60 road. Really! I want to pass you and be going 65. And, really, I would much rather be going 85 and just GET HOME, if I don't even when I can. HOME. Still, patience and such is sometimes all there is when ten vehicles between you and me decide you are driving fast enough for them.
I really had to consider coffee today. I have the old, of course. And, it was... okay. But I had fresh! I hate wasting money, product, etc. I'm not so much a spendthrift or an earth first guy, at all. I am an efficiency buff. Efficiency of economy, of action, of electrical power, and anything else. My whole life has been reduced to getting the very most out of the very least, simply because most frequently that is all I have. With trembling fingers, as they dropped the old coffee into the garbage, I sniffed a little and got to work grinding the new coffee for a fresh pot. Oh heaven! Yeah, okay, I can do it. And it was worth it. If I composted I would have felt better. As is, it just had to be done. The smell, the taste, yeah...
I had a dream last night. My friends, guy friends, and myself were having a "guy" party. Well, that is what we told our wives. There were a lot of hot women there, of course. Every once in a while though, we got all the (single hot) women to step out for just a bit, and used our smart phones to talk to our wives, walking around with the vid feed going, letting our wives talk to the other guys. Telling them how much fun guy bonding we were having. No wives really wanted to break that up, or show up. Then we would let the hot babes back in. Oh, yeah, I could see that back in the day, had I been married. The truth is I never lied to the women I was with. I didn't have to. They knew. The thing was no promises. Well, until I hit... what... the 30's, in practice, the mid 20's in principle? Yeah, something like that. Even then it was more to do with me than the woman. Having three or four women, on top of your main, call and harass you whenever they got a stick up there butt was a pain. Talk about slavery. Still, it was a... funny dream. The management doesn't approve, but it 'do know'. Still, I recommend not making promises you don't intend to keep, or can't keep. It's... the better part of foul valor, to my mind. Don't even think about telling me your conscience wouldn't allow it or even that your woman wouldn't. Don't. It's not that you are trying to use the wrong key, your using the wrong key at the wrong house. Go figure it out before you end up married, cheating, then angry at your wife for your failed promises, then divorced or in a horrible marriage.
Today is the day to decide whether to raise my dose of carvedilol or stick with the plan. I do believe I am going to up the dose. With my bp still running in the 194-215/124-133 range after two weeks of everything maxed save carvedilol, I simply don't think I have a choice. My bp has been running that hot for at least two months, since I started monitoring again. If I don't bring that down something is going to pop. All I need is another hole in the head, innit?
Today I am going to get out and try to pick and shovel. Just an half hour or so, if I can keep on it. I'll take a timer. Anything else I can manage to do will be good. A load or two of dishes, a load or two of laundry, and some picking up are on the agenda. Nothing fancy, nothing fast, and only the picking and shoveling as real work. Something I noticed recently... I truly despise 'little work', work that doesn't use my engines at something like full capacity. It takes more energy for me to do dishes, in a way, because I never work up to breaking a sweat, and can't. Same with laundry. My system just wasn't made for that kind of work. It is essential work. It makes the rest of what I do possible. But it is more annoying than a small swarm of gnats. If that were tended I would see myself to a lot more physical work. While that didn't happen in the past, the opportunity for physical work was not always available. Here, in my own home, it is. And I like to do it. But to do physical work I need food. And to get food, I need to shop and do cook. In order to cook and shop I need clean clothes and clean dishes, pots, pans, utensils, and the rest. That is the weak link in the chain. Yes, when my mother is here, for example, she takes care of the house so I can simply focus on stuff she can't do, or can't do well. A wife sure is seeming better and better.
Of course, there is a face that keeps coming to mind when I think about marriage. Oh, yes there is. I do believe what I wrote above has a lot to do with the problem some men have with marriage. But I can't quite think that is all of it. Women can be just as smart, crafty, object oriented, and fruitful in their efforts as any men, sometimes twice over within their limits. It's the insane side that I keep obsessing with. The piss tests ("Do these pants (skirt, dress, whatever) make my ass look big"... "Why yes, but I love big targets!"), the questions ("What are you thinking?"... "I'm trying not to think, please leave me to that ma'dear."), the paranoia, want for more than I am, horrendous mood changes, odd sex drives, and such that... Well, and that face. Oh, the face? Hmm, this man knows the face. If I think he... he has a goodly part in the making of that face. Then again, he probably just bought into the whole 'pretty face is good to marry, so whatever' thing. And he... obviously has some issues beyond that. Still... Heh. Now, I've never really had a broken heart but the other problems he discusses? I've never been married either.
Yep, another day another chance. All good. I have a goodly little bit of time to wake up, read the blogs, check on real news, and just tinker for a bit. I will probably need a nap by noon. Hopefully just a nap. And I should be able to get a number of bigger and smaller things done. Or... not. Time will tell. Hmm, oh, and there is my part of the mowing. Yes indeed. Sometime.
Have a good morning! Go to work with a smile, if you have to fake it so be it. It's worth the returns.
Wednesday, May 23, 2012
A bit of homework today.
.
.
No, not actual work. After months of not being very aware of my finances, simply hoping automatic payment was working, something triggered a review. Well, and one of the things I did today was to call and regain access to one of my accounts. Online access is required when that bank is over a thousand miles away. But what triggered a review was a check, a return from my home escrow. I have also received some other refunds. The group totaled over $1300. I was RICH! I thought, initially, that I would... spend two to three hundred and plant the rest. Then I started thinking back. Hmm, I have been... spending like a Democrat. So, a review was in order. As well, when I checked the mail I also found most of my bills.
As it turns out that return money will just, exactly, put my nest egg at the level I wanted it. In my local account. My distant account gives me about the refund amounts total over my nest egg 'zero'. However, while I have all the tools and parts for replacing the water heater, I don't have the water heater. And there may be additional purchases to be made, so I don't consider the "extra" as extra at all. Remember, I want to lay new flooring in there first. That isn't going to just be the flooring, but possibly subflooring, and a drain of some sort (yes, yes, I WILL hook it into the main drain, fine, alrighty?). Assuming I don't find more trouble under there than even that. As well, a new toilet, new vanity, and a decent mirror would be very reasonable. So, that "extra" thousand is looking more like a start. The vanity may not be a choice, in any case, as it is attached to the floor and the wall. If the floor is bad I will simply have no choice. Thought that doesn't break my heart at all, until sticker shock hits me... but that's another story. I can probably wait, or skip, a new toilet. It... mostly works. It's just so damned small! If the floor is good this should be a breeze though... If I could just get to it!
Still, this puts my quickly shrinking nest egg back to rights and wakes me up. Although I did notice that my phone is overpaid by nearly $200 and my electric utility bill is again at over $500 above what was due. I'll... eventually get that paperwork to get the utility payment hooked directly to what is due... eventually. That adds to having a little room to play, though, with the on suite bathroom upgrades. Oh, and I did finally take care of that one nagging bill, the city utilities. I paid $200, plus checks out to September, and probably more than what I owe each month. Plus I ended up only owing about two months in back dues, so that I ended up overpaying by $130 or so right up front, which adds another nearly four months after September (maybe even another month by monthly overpayments too, maybe). Yeah, my bills are... good. My nest egg is good. And payday is just around the corner. I only pay on three actual debts currently. The Xterra will take a bit, my home much longer, but the card is coming down just fine (though that card company sold out and I don't too much care for the company that bought it, any funny stuff and I'll sacrifice some nest egg and send the payments I had been sending to the card to my nest egg instead... no (interest rate) funny stuff).
What I need to start doing, and have never done well to date, is to tack things down. I really didn't think I would make it to my mid 20's, then 30's. But... here I am. And I was moving quite a lot, still with dreams of some magical future, or at least near future. To figure out costs, expenses, and create a budget. With the nest egg I have a little room for error and to figure things out. Once I have a reasonable handle on things, I then need to start tackling my home payments. I would like to add 50%, perhaps 100% if I can swing it. It would be fun to absolutely demolish that loan as fast and hard as I can. I just have to make sure I don't try to squeeze myself too tightly. I still need nominal improvements, repairs, common living, a little luxury, and a bit of breathing room. How much? I... I simply don't know yet.
Oh, no worries. It'll take me six months to a year to ever get going on this. You know me. You KNOW me. But, once a thing is realistically on my radar, eventually it will get hit. Turtle 1 to control, I have a lock. I repeat, I have a lock. And I'm... well... right on that. Yeah, YEAH, I'm... where's the button. What? Nap time...
Yeah, it is looking good. It's looking better than it ever has for me. Since I just can't seem to die as probability seems to dictate should be the case, I best get ready to survive to my 111th birthday. If I make it, I know some doctor's graves I am going to find. Yep, I'm going to piss on them. And smoke a cigar while doing so, with a double scotch on the rocks hold the rocks, and probably hire a stripper to entertain me while I do it. Just... Some things are just going to have to happen, that's all. I hope God will forgive. Still, I have to wonder if He won't have just a touch of understanding too. Yipee kiyeah... *mumbles* psychopathogens.
Well, dinner arrived! I am hungry. Have a great day!
.
No, not actual work. After months of not being very aware of my finances, simply hoping automatic payment was working, something triggered a review. Well, and one of the things I did today was to call and regain access to one of my accounts. Online access is required when that bank is over a thousand miles away. But what triggered a review was a check, a return from my home escrow. I have also received some other refunds. The group totaled over $1300. I was RICH! I thought, initially, that I would... spend two to three hundred and plant the rest. Then I started thinking back. Hmm, I have been... spending like a Democrat. So, a review was in order. As well, when I checked the mail I also found most of my bills.
As it turns out that return money will just, exactly, put my nest egg at the level I wanted it. In my local account. My distant account gives me about the refund amounts total over my nest egg 'zero'. However, while I have all the tools and parts for replacing the water heater, I don't have the water heater. And there may be additional purchases to be made, so I don't consider the "extra" as extra at all. Remember, I want to lay new flooring in there first. That isn't going to just be the flooring, but possibly subflooring, and a drain of some sort (yes, yes, I WILL hook it into the main drain, fine, alrighty?). Assuming I don't find more trouble under there than even that. As well, a new toilet, new vanity, and a decent mirror would be very reasonable. So, that "extra" thousand is looking more like a start. The vanity may not be a choice, in any case, as it is attached to the floor and the wall. If the floor is bad I will simply have no choice. Thought that doesn't break my heart at all, until sticker shock hits me... but that's another story. I can probably wait, or skip, a new toilet. It... mostly works. It's just so damned small! If the floor is good this should be a breeze though... If I could just get to it!
Still, this puts my quickly shrinking nest egg back to rights and wakes me up. Although I did notice that my phone is overpaid by nearly $200 and my electric utility bill is again at over $500 above what was due. I'll... eventually get that paperwork to get the utility payment hooked directly to what is due... eventually. That adds to having a little room to play, though, with the on suite bathroom upgrades. Oh, and I did finally take care of that one nagging bill, the city utilities. I paid $200, plus checks out to September, and probably more than what I owe each month. Plus I ended up only owing about two months in back dues, so that I ended up overpaying by $130 or so right up front, which adds another nearly four months after September (maybe even another month by monthly overpayments too, maybe). Yeah, my bills are... good. My nest egg is good. And payday is just around the corner. I only pay on three actual debts currently. The Xterra will take a bit, my home much longer, but the card is coming down just fine (though that card company sold out and I don't too much care for the company that bought it, any funny stuff and I'll sacrifice some nest egg and send the payments I had been sending to the card to my nest egg instead... no (interest rate) funny stuff).
What I need to start doing, and have never done well to date, is to tack things down. I really didn't think I would make it to my mid 20's, then 30's. But... here I am. And I was moving quite a lot, still with dreams of some magical future, or at least near future. To figure out costs, expenses, and create a budget. With the nest egg I have a little room for error and to figure things out. Once I have a reasonable handle on things, I then need to start tackling my home payments. I would like to add 50%, perhaps 100% if I can swing it. It would be fun to absolutely demolish that loan as fast and hard as I can. I just have to make sure I don't try to squeeze myself too tightly. I still need nominal improvements, repairs, common living, a little luxury, and a bit of breathing room. How much? I... I simply don't know yet.
Oh, no worries. It'll take me six months to a year to ever get going on this. You know me. You KNOW me. But, once a thing is realistically on my radar, eventually it will get hit. Turtle 1 to control, I have a lock. I repeat, I have a lock. And I'm... well... right on that. Yeah, YEAH, I'm... where's the button. What? Nap time...
Yeah, it is looking good. It's looking better than it ever has for me. Since I just can't seem to die as probability seems to dictate should be the case, I best get ready to survive to my 111th birthday. If I make it, I know some doctor's graves I am going to find. Yep, I'm going to piss on them. And smoke a cigar while doing so, with a double scotch on the rocks hold the rocks, and probably hire a stripper to entertain me while I do it. Just... Some things are just going to have to happen, that's all. I hope God will forgive. Still, I have to wonder if He won't have just a touch of understanding too. Yipee kiyeah... *mumbles* psychopathogens.
Well, dinner arrived! I am hungry. Have a great day!
Hmm...
.
.
I was sure, after that last post, that I would pull it together. As I sat reading a few more blogs, then tinkering, my will was slipping. I became lethargic, then sleepy to the point of going in and laying down. I popped up and set the alarm in the hopes that, with a few hours of rest, I would be ready to go to town. I had my doubts. I checked my blood pressure, it was 210/124, I just can't understand that. I have been taking my medicine, 'xactly. I laid back out, covered over, and started to drift. I was just about to fall asleep when a little voice caught my attention. *now* Or, some such. Such a small word, but in the blackening consciousness that is the beginning of sleep it electrified me. So quiet, so passive, so powerful. I got up, pulled out the trimmer to get most of the beard knocked off, grabbed clean shorts and a t-shirt, and headed in to the functional bathroom. I quickly started the shower water, washed my glasses, then *censored*. Climbing out of the shower I shaved the rest of the way, dressed, with my partial wear, doodled my hair into a high flattop, sort of, then headed to the bedroom to finish my affairs.
Yes! I made it out. And I hit every store on my list. Not fully successful though, no offal was to be found at the places I stopped. I bought a ton of short to mid term food. Any grouping seems small, but combined I have a dozen cans of several vegetables and a number of fruits. I did buy sweets, and sugars. Canned tuna and chicken were purchased in bulk. A number of bags, plates, and various other items were also purchased. While not perfect, not complete, and not everything I had hoped to buy, I did buy enough to see me through a short dry spell. I will be working on the list, adding pieces and parts, if a bit more slowly, as I go through the next few months. But it has started. It was a pleasure to sort and then store the items away in what one might call the beginnings of a true larder. While certainly not a chef's larder, it has the promise of being any families blessing in times of lean or fat. I hope to spend between a hundred and two hundred at the beginning of each month, only buying items I know I can and will eat and use, or buying a sampling to test, on top of typical groceries. No, no list at the moment, I just went and bought. At $320ish and change, I put a decent little pile of food and extras together. I also bought ham, milk, and things I need for right this week, right now. I made it to the coffee shop and tobacco outlet. And, as a final insult on top of injury, I bought a meal on the way out of town.
Oh, by the way, by my reckoning? That will be the last tobacco purchase I make. The next time I get to town, and I need to as I couldn't get as much wet cat food as I wanted, I will buy my first month of patches. I will definitely grab my friend this next time too. I bet he is itching to get out. Perhaps Friday, I need to see the store manager I have been meaning to discuss some things with as well and his next workday is Friday. Next month I will buy another month of patches, and when my mother gets here, or a bit before or after (I won't waste that tobacco!), I will begin using the patches. She has quit and has laid down the gauntlet. Well, actually she dropped it and my big toe is still throbbing from it but the first telling sounds better.
I won't, however, be shoveling and picking at the hole. Beside it looking as if it will rain at any moment, I am done. For now. I was able to do all the shopping and putting everything away without a hitch, but doing more is definitely not in me. Oh, I best move the X back into the garage too. Quite a day, quite a haul. I even managed to finally check my mail. I set the dishes to a fresh soak before I left. I do not know if I will be getting to those, but you know... I really am itching to do one more thing today. No promises. I simply can't promise. But... maybe. Life is good.
Well, I hope you are having a good day yourself. Or at least holding up, holding on, or enjoying the fall. :p If you can't choose it, at least figure out how to enjoy it.
.
I was sure, after that last post, that I would pull it together. As I sat reading a few more blogs, then tinkering, my will was slipping. I became lethargic, then sleepy to the point of going in and laying down. I popped up and set the alarm in the hopes that, with a few hours of rest, I would be ready to go to town. I had my doubts. I checked my blood pressure, it was 210/124, I just can't understand that. I have been taking my medicine, 'xactly. I laid back out, covered over, and started to drift. I was just about to fall asleep when a little voice caught my attention. *now* Or, some such. Such a small word, but in the blackening consciousness that is the beginning of sleep it electrified me. So quiet, so passive, so powerful. I got up, pulled out the trimmer to get most of the beard knocked off, grabbed clean shorts and a t-shirt, and headed in to the functional bathroom. I quickly started the shower water, washed my glasses, then *censored*. Climbing out of the shower I shaved the rest of the way, dressed, with my partial wear, doodled my hair into a high flattop, sort of, then headed to the bedroom to finish my affairs.
Yes! I made it out. And I hit every store on my list. Not fully successful though, no offal was to be found at the places I stopped. I bought a ton of short to mid term food. Any grouping seems small, but combined I have a dozen cans of several vegetables and a number of fruits. I did buy sweets, and sugars. Canned tuna and chicken were purchased in bulk. A number of bags, plates, and various other items were also purchased. While not perfect, not complete, and not everything I had hoped to buy, I did buy enough to see me through a short dry spell. I will be working on the list, adding pieces and parts, if a bit more slowly, as I go through the next few months. But it has started. It was a pleasure to sort and then store the items away in what one might call the beginnings of a true larder. While certainly not a chef's larder, it has the promise of being any families blessing in times of lean or fat. I hope to spend between a hundred and two hundred at the beginning of each month, only buying items I know I can and will eat and use, or buying a sampling to test, on top of typical groceries. No, no list at the moment, I just went and bought. At $320ish and change, I put a decent little pile of food and extras together. I also bought ham, milk, and things I need for right this week, right now. I made it to the coffee shop and tobacco outlet. And, as a final insult on top of injury, I bought a meal on the way out of town.
Oh, by the way, by my reckoning? That will be the last tobacco purchase I make. The next time I get to town, and I need to as I couldn't get as much wet cat food as I wanted, I will buy my first month of patches. I will definitely grab my friend this next time too. I bet he is itching to get out. Perhaps Friday, I need to see the store manager I have been meaning to discuss some things with as well and his next workday is Friday. Next month I will buy another month of patches, and when my mother gets here, or a bit before or after (I won't waste that tobacco!), I will begin using the patches. She has quit and has laid down the gauntlet. Well, actually she dropped it and my big toe is still throbbing from it but the first telling sounds better.
I won't, however, be shoveling and picking at the hole. Beside it looking as if it will rain at any moment, I am done. For now. I was able to do all the shopping and putting everything away without a hitch, but doing more is definitely not in me. Oh, I best move the X back into the garage too. Quite a day, quite a haul. I even managed to finally check my mail. I set the dishes to a fresh soak before I left. I do not know if I will be getting to those, but you know... I really am itching to do one more thing today. No promises. I simply can't promise. But... maybe. Life is good.
Well, I hope you are having a good day yourself. Or at least holding up, holding on, or enjoying the fall. :p If you can't choose it, at least figure out how to enjoy it.
Ah, looks like the day!
.
.
Before I went back to bed I did a bit'o'research. No, not in Ireland. It seems this things cats do is common. It also isn't what I feared, a mating thing. It's called a Flehmen Response. It is a way for a cat to memorize a scent, though cats seem to not just memorize scents but to also analyze them. All good, and yes, I feel better. No, I'm not a cataphobe either. I just... some things... even some notions are just a bit creepy. After the research, I went down for a bit more sleep. Good sleep.
Waking an hour or two ago I decided hunger was a real issue. While a bit of hunger is good to keep me active, too much hunger is a problem in itself, and might lead me to overeat at just the wrong moment, either crashing my plans or at least making the drive home a real drag. Since it was still early, and some of the stores wouldn't have been open quite yet anyway, I decided to see what could be made. It turned out that I still had a can of corned beef hash, a carton of jumbo eggs, and my cast frying pan has been being kept used yet cleaned. Take all ingredients including pan, blend to a medium consistency, add a little hot sauce, pour over ice, and... breakfast. Give or take. A few hours to let that settle, maybe an hour more, and I should find myself in the shower, then shaven, dressed, and ready to go.
For a guy who goes slowly, I move when on my feet. Time, you see, is the issue. Not how much energy I expend in that time. I remembered the last item for my list this morning, while enjoying breakfast, and added it to the list. Finally, I put the list in order. My goal is to hit every single item on my list and in the order now listed. I know which way to enter town, which way to enter and leave the various shops, and believe it will be done. I won't be able to stop and do a social call though. Too much of what I am buying needs to be refrigerated quickly. And with as many places as I will be stopping this constraint will be tested a bit as is. However, with some things managed, and perhaps as a treat for doing a bit or a lot more digging if I can get to that, I will see me into town tomorrow again. Well, soon in any case. I really shouldn't do things day after day, that really has ended up beating me into the dirt. Or is that actually the right way, since I seem to fall down no matter? I still am not sure about that.
Never mind all the concerns. At this point I simply live my life to the best of my ability, do what I can, and pick it all back up when I can. I enjoy what I get, what I have, and what I am looking forward to doing. Good, bad, ugly, it's just the way any particular day might be. Since I can't change reality I have decided to change my outlook on it. It's all good if there are times that are better.
Good morning. Get out and have yourself a fine day. It is up to you, you know.
.
Before I went back to bed I did a bit'o'research. No, not in Ireland. It seems this things cats do is common. It also isn't what I feared, a mating thing. It's called a Flehmen Response. It is a way for a cat to memorize a scent, though cats seem to not just memorize scents but to also analyze them. All good, and yes, I feel better. No, I'm not a cataphobe either. I just... some things... even some notions are just a bit creepy. After the research, I went down for a bit more sleep. Good sleep.
Waking an hour or two ago I decided hunger was a real issue. While a bit of hunger is good to keep me active, too much hunger is a problem in itself, and might lead me to overeat at just the wrong moment, either crashing my plans or at least making the drive home a real drag. Since it was still early, and some of the stores wouldn't have been open quite yet anyway, I decided to see what could be made. It turned out that I still had a can of corned beef hash, a carton of jumbo eggs, and my cast frying pan has been being kept used yet cleaned. Take all ingredients including pan, blend to a medium consistency, add a little hot sauce, pour over ice, and... breakfast. Give or take. A few hours to let that settle, maybe an hour more, and I should find myself in the shower, then shaven, dressed, and ready to go.
For a guy who goes slowly, I move when on my feet. Time, you see, is the issue. Not how much energy I expend in that time. I remembered the last item for my list this morning, while enjoying breakfast, and added it to the list. Finally, I put the list in order. My goal is to hit every single item on my list and in the order now listed. I know which way to enter town, which way to enter and leave the various shops, and believe it will be done. I won't be able to stop and do a social call though. Too much of what I am buying needs to be refrigerated quickly. And with as many places as I will be stopping this constraint will be tested a bit as is. However, with some things managed, and perhaps as a treat for doing a bit or a lot more digging if I can get to that, I will see me into town tomorrow again. Well, soon in any case. I really shouldn't do things day after day, that really has ended up beating me into the dirt. Or is that actually the right way, since I seem to fall down no matter? I still am not sure about that.
Never mind all the concerns. At this point I simply live my life to the best of my ability, do what I can, and pick it all back up when I can. I enjoy what I get, what I have, and what I am looking forward to doing. Good, bad, ugly, it's just the way any particular day might be. Since I can't change reality I have decided to change my outlook on it. It's all good if there are times that are better.
Good morning. Get out and have yourself a fine day. It is up to you, you know.
Hmm, some things are true.
.
.
The bloody nose continued until... who knows. I checked ever so often, but it wasn't stopped until after 17:00. Ah well, tomorrow. One thing I wrote in the past, as sort of a funny but possibly true thing, was that my cats got that half sneeze half yawn, then froze that way for a few seconds, thing going with me from time to time. I was suggesting that I affect them oddly. Now, while I had seen that before, when they were near me at times, I wasn't honestly sure it was me. Perhaps a tom had urinated outside my window and it wafted in. Now, however, I know. Sassy came near me today, and saw a drop of blood on my shirt. She sniffed it and... did just what I had described. She smelled my blood two more times and it had the same odd effect each time. I do cause my cats some oddities. Heck, I had just been joking when I wrote about it before. Maybe all human blood makes cats do weird things? Then again, there was no blood the last few times they did that near me. She didn't try to eat or lick the blood though. Dunno. Weird.
Sleep was great. I am actually going to try to get back to bed for a bit, to have a better chance at taking care of everything on my list tomorrow. I have a list made, if I haven't bothered to prioritize it yet. That should only take a few seconds, really, probably. The reason I didn't do it already is that I have a nagging feeling the list isn't complete. I hate that when a few things just aren't coming to mind. Those items can come to mind and upset a plan in progress, usually do. Normally that would be fine but I am in such a rut that a new thing or two could jam the machine, shut down the effort. I am pondering it all and will review things in the morning. Gah! I hate nagging little items that just won't come to mind.
The weather is just about perfect for sleeping, at night. During the day a fan is becoming a requirement. Summer is coming. I really, if I can, after shopping tomorrow, need to get that hole dug. If not tomorrow then the day after. I don't want that project around when it hits 100 F. Further, I have some other physical jobs I would like to get out of the way before the temps climb into the stratosphere. Often, in those times, one can work early in the morning a bit, and sometimes in the later afternoon. But at high noon and for three hours on either side of it work becomes rather harsh. I already have trouble just getting to work, adding further caveats... doesn't help.
I am really behind on things. I simply can't catch a break, or make one. I can do things for a short bit, then I just drop like a sack of potatoes down a well. I'll keep things in mind, looking for the path to work, pushing when I can. If all fails I will just have to figure out another strategy. It's sort of fun, if a little frustrating. Cutting edge, doing whatever you do with the absolute bare minimum of what it takes. Then again, isn't that, to some degree, what life is? If you aren't on that edge, you seek it. Well, at least those who... want a little more.
Good night.
.
The bloody nose continued until... who knows. I checked ever so often, but it wasn't stopped until after 17:00. Ah well, tomorrow. One thing I wrote in the past, as sort of a funny but possibly true thing, was that my cats got that half sneeze half yawn, then froze that way for a few seconds, thing going with me from time to time. I was suggesting that I affect them oddly. Now, while I had seen that before, when they were near me at times, I wasn't honestly sure it was me. Perhaps a tom had urinated outside my window and it wafted in. Now, however, I know. Sassy came near me today, and saw a drop of blood on my shirt. She sniffed it and... did just what I had described. She smelled my blood two more times and it had the same odd effect each time. I do cause my cats some oddities. Heck, I had just been joking when I wrote about it before. Maybe all human blood makes cats do weird things? Then again, there was no blood the last few times they did that near me. She didn't try to eat or lick the blood though. Dunno. Weird.
Sleep was great. I am actually going to try to get back to bed for a bit, to have a better chance at taking care of everything on my list tomorrow. I have a list made, if I haven't bothered to prioritize it yet. That should only take a few seconds, really, probably. The reason I didn't do it already is that I have a nagging feeling the list isn't complete. I hate that when a few things just aren't coming to mind. Those items can come to mind and upset a plan in progress, usually do. Normally that would be fine but I am in such a rut that a new thing or two could jam the machine, shut down the effort. I am pondering it all and will review things in the morning. Gah! I hate nagging little items that just won't come to mind.
The weather is just about perfect for sleeping, at night. During the day a fan is becoming a requirement. Summer is coming. I really, if I can, after shopping tomorrow, need to get that hole dug. If not tomorrow then the day after. I don't want that project around when it hits 100 F. Further, I have some other physical jobs I would like to get out of the way before the temps climb into the stratosphere. Often, in those times, one can work early in the morning a bit, and sometimes in the later afternoon. But at high noon and for three hours on either side of it work becomes rather harsh. I already have trouble just getting to work, adding further caveats... doesn't help.
I am really behind on things. I simply can't catch a break, or make one. I can do things for a short bit, then I just drop like a sack of potatoes down a well. I'll keep things in mind, looking for the path to work, pushing when I can. If all fails I will just have to figure out another strategy. It's sort of fun, if a little frustrating. Cutting edge, doing whatever you do with the absolute bare minimum of what it takes. Then again, isn't that, to some degree, what life is? If you aren't on that edge, you seek it. Well, at least those who... want a little more.
Good night.
Tuesday, May 22, 2012
How is that even possible?
.
.
While slowly prepping to get into town, and heading to the shower, I decided to clean my sinuses. Looks like I blew a gasket. Bloody nose, a real gusher. So, I do my usual, plug and pray. An hour and a half, or two, later and here I sit with a bloody nose, a real gusher. I'm going in to lay down for a bit, maybe it will quit there. Sitting just isn't enough. Tomorrow, to town, I suppose. The girls will just have to endure hard cat food and I will shut the door so Sassy can't try to mug me.
Later.
.
While slowly prepping to get into town, and heading to the shower, I decided to clean my sinuses. Looks like I blew a gasket. Bloody nose, a real gusher. So, I do my usual, plug and pray. An hour and a half, or two, later and here I sit with a bloody nose, a real gusher. I'm going in to lay down for a bit, maybe it will quit there. Sitting just isn't enough. Tomorrow, to town, I suppose. The girls will just have to endure hard cat food and I will shut the door so Sassy can't try to mug me.
Later.
To town?
.
.
I'm still awake. I am not very comfortable with going into town but I might just shove it through anyway. The time is right to get some of the more rarefied things accomplished. The things that require the 9:00 to 5:00 business hours, or thereabouts. Of course, going in weak I have to try and figure out what is best to do, since I might not get it all done. These medicines are absolutely snowing me, that is my problem. Usually, even on a worse health day, I could shove through. That is not the case. What do they put in that stuff, kryptonite?
I noticed that many Catholic institutions are suing for at least changes to Obamacare. The American Bishops council has been pushing universal health care for... a very long time. Before Obama, before Romney, before most people had thought of such a thing in America. I am not sure how far that goes up the chain, whether our Popes have agreed with that or not. For my part, I am very against it. And, I think this case is a perfect example of why to be against it.
While it seems reasonable to believe such a thing can occur, and technically has with Obamacare, the problem is the power it takes to enact such a thing usually develops in, and then is used by, people who are at a minimum antagonistic toward religion and definitely against the Church. The people that would mandate such a thing do it to martial their hold on power, and extend it. Such legislation is not, and never has been, intended to be a boon for the recipients by any governing body to date. Thus, when such power is garnered, then used, no other power can influence it.
I have to believe that American Bishops would know this. While, at times, any group can be somewhat untethered from realities, this group does not have that problem. They are rather well educated, in everything from the Church to history and well beyond that, with intense resources on any matter one could imagine. Some, perhaps many, of them have served in nations where socialism/communism is or was the rule. They have to know it cannot be negotiated with and such legislation as this only feeds the beast that wields that kind of power. Obviously, if at some cost and risks, that power does exist and is held. Perhaps they think this time will be different, like some battered wives? Or are there other problems? The remnants of those from the 60's and 70's are in power. Perhaps the taint has reached it's climax in those quarters? I actually don't know, for sure. I will be... learning more as I can. I simply know that you cannot negotiate with some forms of governments, and the Church should know this better than any. It has been ripped out of Britain, Mexico, and Russia, at least. It allowed the last would-be Holy Roman Emperor to fail for a reason, pulling it's armies back, recalling them to Rome at a critical juncture that would have reforged Europe. It at one time at least knew when the power once supported became too much of a burden... or threat.
I keep seeing little snippets of what people think regarding the teacher who told a student they could be arrested for disagreeing with Zero... give or take. It amazes me that this amazes anyone. Was I the only one who went through public schools? The liberalism in there is insane, and the hubris of the most offensive teachers is out of control. Some of the men teachers, not all of them but some of them, had some wits about this, but little control or power. Coaches were sometimes... half smart too. But mostly they hid these things. Right or wrong, they can't have every smarmy leftist teacher fired. So, what is there to do? I still suggest home schooling. Bring the wife home, have her do this. As for the good men? Use them to coach, in a community athletic department and in other forms of traditional male education, such as woodworking and shop. Get rid of the rest. There is no added cost, much lowered taxes actually, and with more women out of the workplace, the employee marketplace would become a lot better paying, allowing for a better life for families. That's an abbreviated set of events, but It'll get you there.
Hmm, shower, shave, dressing, driving... I'll think about where to go first, what I really have to have, and work out a viable plan before I get to town, see the traffic, and go bugeyed and lose my grip. Having that plan helps, even deciding which way to get into town makes a huge difference. Cities are hot, ugly, mean places. Best to be ready for the hubbub. College towns more so.
Later.
.
I'm still awake. I am not very comfortable with going into town but I might just shove it through anyway. The time is right to get some of the more rarefied things accomplished. The things that require the 9:00 to 5:00 business hours, or thereabouts. Of course, going in weak I have to try and figure out what is best to do, since I might not get it all done. These medicines are absolutely snowing me, that is my problem. Usually, even on a worse health day, I could shove through. That is not the case. What do they put in that stuff, kryptonite?
I noticed that many Catholic institutions are suing for at least changes to Obamacare. The American Bishops council has been pushing universal health care for... a very long time. Before Obama, before Romney, before most people had thought of such a thing in America. I am not sure how far that goes up the chain, whether our Popes have agreed with that or not. For my part, I am very against it. And, I think this case is a perfect example of why to be against it.
While it seems reasonable to believe such a thing can occur, and technically has with Obamacare, the problem is the power it takes to enact such a thing usually develops in, and then is used by, people who are at a minimum antagonistic toward religion and definitely against the Church. The people that would mandate such a thing do it to martial their hold on power, and extend it. Such legislation is not, and never has been, intended to be a boon for the recipients by any governing body to date. Thus, when such power is garnered, then used, no other power can influence it.
I have to believe that American Bishops would know this. While, at times, any group can be somewhat untethered from realities, this group does not have that problem. They are rather well educated, in everything from the Church to history and well beyond that, with intense resources on any matter one could imagine. Some, perhaps many, of them have served in nations where socialism/communism is or was the rule. They have to know it cannot be negotiated with and such legislation as this only feeds the beast that wields that kind of power. Obviously, if at some cost and risks, that power does exist and is held. Perhaps they think this time will be different, like some battered wives? Or are there other problems? The remnants of those from the 60's and 70's are in power. Perhaps the taint has reached it's climax in those quarters? I actually don't know, for sure. I will be... learning more as I can. I simply know that you cannot negotiate with some forms of governments, and the Church should know this better than any. It has been ripped out of Britain, Mexico, and Russia, at least. It allowed the last would-be Holy Roman Emperor to fail for a reason, pulling it's armies back, recalling them to Rome at a critical juncture that would have reforged Europe. It at one time at least knew when the power once supported became too much of a burden... or threat.
I keep seeing little snippets of what people think regarding the teacher who told a student they could be arrested for disagreeing with Zero... give or take. It amazes me that this amazes anyone. Was I the only one who went through public schools? The liberalism in there is insane, and the hubris of the most offensive teachers is out of control. Some of the men teachers, not all of them but some of them, had some wits about this, but little control or power. Coaches were sometimes... half smart too. But mostly they hid these things. Right or wrong, they can't have every smarmy leftist teacher fired. So, what is there to do? I still suggest home schooling. Bring the wife home, have her do this. As for the good men? Use them to coach, in a community athletic department and in other forms of traditional male education, such as woodworking and shop. Get rid of the rest. There is no added cost, much lowered taxes actually, and with more women out of the workplace, the employee marketplace would become a lot better paying, allowing for a better life for families. That's an abbreviated set of events, but It'll get you there.
Hmm, shower, shave, dressing, driving... I'll think about where to go first, what I really have to have, and work out a viable plan before I get to town, see the traffic, and go bugeyed and lose my grip. Having that plan helps, even deciding which way to get into town makes a huge difference. Cities are hot, ugly, mean places. Best to be ready for the hubbub. College towns more so.
Later.
Maybe I am more...
.
.
Fear inducing and terrifying than I thought. I wouldn't know so much with people, more directly and right about now, but I do have cats. And they fear me something awful, if what just happened is any indication. For some reason, when poppo is sitting on the facility, they... gather. I am not European, I do not sit like a woman unless I have no other choice. I yell at my cats from time to time, needing my privacy and such. I became distracted for a bit, my "smart phone" comes in handy in there since news isn't worth reading and I can't really concentrate for longer more interesting truthful tracts, like science fiction, or even history or such when I can find the good dope in those areas. Anyway, after terrifying my cats a couple of times, for encroachment, then going back to my gaming, a little time passed, and I felt something on my ear. A gnat maybe? It was my eldest cat! She was watching me game, over my shoulder! She had climbed up on poppo. I'm going to get a bad name with the ogre society if this ever gets out. I yelled at her and she just... looked me in the eye as if to say, "What's your problem?", and finally relented and got down. Bah!
Then again, most people do view me as rather... forgiving, even nice. And, for most people, that is exactly true. The ones who mean trouble, however, know exactly what I am. They generally take their trouble elsewhere. Even if they knew I had a thousand bucks in my pocket, that isn't worth dying over. Yeah, I see it on the streets when I go to big cities. They know. That is why my former neighbors, the good ones, in Iowa, hated to see me go. The local natives knew the score, so do decent folk. Although women are more like cats, in dealing with me. And, for my part, that's the way I keep it, if I do make them get off my back, when I notice. Ha! Some ogre I turned out to be.
.
Fear inducing and terrifying than I thought. I wouldn't know so much with people, more directly and right about now, but I do have cats. And they fear me something awful, if what just happened is any indication. For some reason, when poppo is sitting on the facility, they... gather. I am not European, I do not sit like a woman unless I have no other choice. I yell at my cats from time to time, needing my privacy and such. I became distracted for a bit, my "smart phone" comes in handy in there since news isn't worth reading and I can't really concentrate for longer more interesting truthful tracts, like science fiction, or even history or such when I can find the good dope in those areas. Anyway, after terrifying my cats a couple of times, for encroachment, then going back to my gaming, a little time passed, and I felt something on my ear. A gnat maybe? It was my eldest cat! She was watching me game, over my shoulder! She had climbed up on poppo. I'm going to get a bad name with the ogre society if this ever gets out. I yelled at her and she just... looked me in the eye as if to say, "What's your problem?", and finally relented and got down. Bah!
Then again, most people do view me as rather... forgiving, even nice. And, for most people, that is exactly true. The ones who mean trouble, however, know exactly what I am. They generally take their trouble elsewhere. Even if they knew I had a thousand bucks in my pocket, that isn't worth dying over. Yeah, I see it on the streets when I go to big cities. They know. That is why my former neighbors, the good ones, in Iowa, hated to see me go. The local natives knew the score, so do decent folk. Although women are more like cats, in dealing with me. And, for my part, that's the way I keep it, if I do make them get off my back, when I notice. Ha! Some ogre I turned out to be.
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