.
.
Not to brag, and given the situation, Doom is a confident cat.
Tuesday, April 2, 2013
Monday, April 1, 2013
The battle is over, now to clear the field.
.
.
Time isn't what it seems. Believe what you wish, but this contest has lasted a very long time here. While what follows could be deemed a melodramatic response it does match my sentiments. Time isn't what it seems. I have said that a thousand times, if I have said it once, though it matters not which if what I perceive of time is true. And so I... unwind, in the only way I know.
.
Time isn't what it seems. Believe what you wish, but this contest has lasted a very long time here. While what follows could be deemed a melodramatic response it does match my sentiments. Time isn't what it seems. I have said that a thousand times, if I have said it once, though it matters not which if what I perceive of time is true. And so I... unwind, in the only way I know.
To judge?
.
.
What is meant by the term to judge? Of course, there is the legal notion. Before that, I would argue adjudication was based on the moral, ethical, aesthetic senses, among other things, of whomever was placed in a position to render a decision. But that had to come from somewhere itself. Of all of the bases of wisdom and percipience I have ventured, none are so complete as to be all encompassing. While law has been codified, some areas of discernment remain quite immune to blind algorithms, if even law is debatable, thus courts, judges, and lawyers. No, some things are a matter of taste, preference, and other personal tics which simply cannot be measured, often they can't even be known. And yet, the contest set forth here not but a few days ago has lead to a position where a decision must be rendered. And it has fallen to me to do such a intricate task. It is a terrifyingly enjoyable task in it's own way.
The rules, while not the simplest perhaps, were clear. But that didn't make choosing easier. There are many fine submissions. I know some of you. But, don't worry, that doesn't gain you any points. I almost wish it were that easy. I had thought choosing would be the most difficult task. It is not. The most difficult task is... well... just spitting it out!
For you who won, know that your piece fit what I was looking to find. I had no idea what that would be. For the runners-up, very similar. And for those not named? Do realize I truly enjoyed your pieces too. I was amazed, watching the submissions appear. The extra work some of you did on your pages was simply a bonus. I enjoyed the questions and commenting, as well. Enough though. On to it.
There is one that I liked very much. I thought that it missed by the bonus, though arguably. I enjoyed the notion. Forgive me if you feel this is in error. But it is a good solid poem. One I very much enjoy.
becca,
shame regret heartache
tangled web of darkness caught
monster in the mirror
There are three I put in second place. Yeah, yeah, only one can be second place! Tell it to the judge, I say. And who is the judge? That's right. As a sage man once told me... neener. And here they are, in the order submitted, I think.
foam,
Amidst the mind fog
Dusty memories grapple..
Senescence triumphs.
D.C.,
Tang of sweat at night
Dread and pride in toxic brew
Iron, or poison, yields
serendipitouswildmoments,
A beast of fang and claw….
the hunting cat lies within me.
I must draw blood to live.
The winner is:
Jean,
the beast
is self,
denied.
This one surprised me. When I first saw it, before reading it, it seemed far too frugal. Upon reading it, it was annoying, in a bittersweet way. There are several ways to take it. Like a idealogical palindrome, only logically juxtaposed when viewed in reverse. It was, in the end, the answer, and question, I was seeking. I didn't even know I was looking for (another) question. Then again, when does that ever stop?
Congratulations Jean! I almost wanted to... check... before giving you this. But... urhm... Nope! :p If you are too busy, you may choose another. I would like you to pick my picks, but I won't hold you too that. You, in essence, will become the judge. *scoot over Doom!* I hope you can host next Friday, but I would understand.
This isn't about winning or losing. This was about the challenge. I was pleased with folks choosing to spend time sorting what is stored and presenting that in a rather unique form. I have... much to consider. As much as some of this has pained me, I welcome pain when it provides the opportunity to grow. Thank you all. Your humble host.
*bow*
.
What is meant by the term to judge? Of course, there is the legal notion. Before that, I would argue adjudication was based on the moral, ethical, aesthetic senses, among other things, of whomever was placed in a position to render a decision. But that had to come from somewhere itself. Of all of the bases of wisdom and percipience I have ventured, none are so complete as to be all encompassing. While law has been codified, some areas of discernment remain quite immune to blind algorithms, if even law is debatable, thus courts, judges, and lawyers. No, some things are a matter of taste, preference, and other personal tics which simply cannot be measured, often they can't even be known. And yet, the contest set forth here not but a few days ago has lead to a position where a decision must be rendered. And it has fallen to me to do such a intricate task. It is a terrifyingly enjoyable task in it's own way.
The rules, while not the simplest perhaps, were clear. But that didn't make choosing easier. There are many fine submissions. I know some of you. But, don't worry, that doesn't gain you any points. I almost wish it were that easy. I had thought choosing would be the most difficult task. It is not. The most difficult task is... well... just spitting it out!
For you who won, know that your piece fit what I was looking to find. I had no idea what that would be. For the runners-up, very similar. And for those not named? Do realize I truly enjoyed your pieces too. I was amazed, watching the submissions appear. The extra work some of you did on your pages was simply a bonus. I enjoyed the questions and commenting, as well. Enough though. On to it.
There is one that I liked very much. I thought that it missed by the bonus, though arguably. I enjoyed the notion. Forgive me if you feel this is in error. But it is a good solid poem. One I very much enjoy.
becca,
shame regret heartache
tangled web of darkness caught
monster in the mirror
There are three I put in second place. Yeah, yeah, only one can be second place! Tell it to the judge, I say. And who is the judge? That's right. As a sage man once told me... neener. And here they are, in the order submitted, I think.
foam,
Amidst the mind fog
Dusty memories grapple..
Senescence triumphs.
D.C.,
Tang of sweat at night
Dread and pride in toxic brew
Iron, or poison, yields
serendipitouswildmoments,
A beast of fang and claw….
the hunting cat lies within me.
I must draw blood to live.
The winner is:
Jean,
the beast
is self,
denied.
This one surprised me. When I first saw it, before reading it, it seemed far too frugal. Upon reading it, it was annoying, in a bittersweet way. There are several ways to take it. Like a idealogical palindrome, only logically juxtaposed when viewed in reverse. It was, in the end, the answer, and question, I was seeking. I didn't even know I was looking for (another) question. Then again, when does that ever stop?
Congratulations Jean! I almost wanted to... check... before giving you this. But... urhm... Nope! :p If you are too busy, you may choose another. I would like you to pick my picks, but I won't hold you too that. You, in essence, will become the judge. *scoot over Doom!* I hope you can host next Friday, but I would understand.
This isn't about winning or losing. This was about the challenge. I was pleased with folks choosing to spend time sorting what is stored and presenting that in a rather unique form. I have... much to consider. As much as some of this has pained me, I welcome pain when it provides the opportunity to grow. Thank you all. Your humble host.
*bow*
Friday, March 29, 2013
The beast within and haiku.
.
.
Welcome ladies and gentlemen. Prepare yourself for a contest of wits. Before you can compete with others, however, you must first compete with yourself. As I truly enjoyed the hurdles Aunty provided, I decided to go a bit novel myself. Against my ingrained patterns of traditionalism, or because of it, given exceptions often more prove the rule than not, I am going off my path. I had thought to go thoroughly modern. However, I have my limits. So, the rules are as follows:
.
Welcome ladies and gentlemen. Prepare yourself for a contest of wits. Before you can compete with others, however, you must first compete with yourself. As I truly enjoyed the hurdles Aunty provided, I decided to go a bit novel myself. Against my ingrained patterns of traditionalism, or because of it, given exceptions often more prove the rule than not, I am going off my path. I had thought to go thoroughly modern. However, I have my limits. So, the rules are as follows:
Thursday, March 28, 2013
Ah, increased medication.
.
.
I kept wondering what has changed. They doubled metfornin, a pill for diabetes. As well, one of the more minor medications was actually increased four-fold. I won't say those things are the reason for my general collapse, but they might be, or part of it. Now, technically, they didn't increase that one medication four-fold. As it turns out, I had thought I had been putting in 50mg, in this case. After a closer examination I realized I had only been using 25mg tabs. I had probably originally meant to use those up but ended up losing track. I did go on 50 mg for four days, using up the 25 mg, doubled up. Then hit the 100mg mark. It might be enough to throw me off track for a bit. I just never know. The diabetes medicine? Well, they all have exhaustion, it seems, as a side effect. I am actually doing really well on the levels I am taking, according to them, even before swimming. I shouldn't complain, but I do. It's all I can do.
I should be honest about something. I know very little about how the reaction between men and women really works. I never have and never really will. I used to simply call it luck, good or bad depending on the woman, or really the particular moment with a woman, as every relationship has it's ups and downs. And I was, for lack of a better term, lucky. I write what I remember, think, feel, but not what I know. I truly know nothing. I never targeted blonds, or this or that type. Either I was interested, and believed she was, and things went from there or nothing happened. There are some fine memories though. I don't recall but a few that were a bit bitter. Even those, and when they were fresh... it was more a pout. A short spell that lasted until the next woman. I can't say I didn't enjoy their company, just, not enough to ever marry I suppose. Even then I was engaged four times. Can't say I didn't think about it. Just trying to be honest.
Bed time. It is early but I am shot. Up at 5:00 and change, down at 18:40 or so. At least I am remembering the times now, or at least today. That is the first time in more than a week that I have been able to remember. Swimming tomorrow, if I can dig in and get to it. Good night.
.
I kept wondering what has changed. They doubled metfornin, a pill for diabetes. As well, one of the more minor medications was actually increased four-fold. I won't say those things are the reason for my general collapse, but they might be, or part of it. Now, technically, they didn't increase that one medication four-fold. As it turns out, I had thought I had been putting in 50mg, in this case. After a closer examination I realized I had only been using 25mg tabs. I had probably originally meant to use those up but ended up losing track. I did go on 50 mg for four days, using up the 25 mg, doubled up. Then hit the 100mg mark. It might be enough to throw me off track for a bit. I just never know. The diabetes medicine? Well, they all have exhaustion, it seems, as a side effect. I am actually doing really well on the levels I am taking, according to them, even before swimming. I shouldn't complain, but I do. It's all I can do.
I should be honest about something. I know very little about how the reaction between men and women really works. I never have and never really will. I used to simply call it luck, good or bad depending on the woman, or really the particular moment with a woman, as every relationship has it's ups and downs. And I was, for lack of a better term, lucky. I write what I remember, think, feel, but not what I know. I truly know nothing. I never targeted blonds, or this or that type. Either I was interested, and believed she was, and things went from there or nothing happened. There are some fine memories though. I don't recall but a few that were a bit bitter. Even those, and when they were fresh... it was more a pout. A short spell that lasted until the next woman. I can't say I didn't enjoy their company, just, not enough to ever marry I suppose. Even then I was engaged four times. Can't say I didn't think about it. Just trying to be honest.
Bed time. It is early but I am shot. Up at 5:00 and change, down at 18:40 or so. At least I am remembering the times now, or at least today. That is the first time in more than a week that I have been able to remember. Swimming tomorrow, if I can dig in and get to it. Good night.
I remember toying with the notion.
.
.
I also remember warning guys off from it. While it looks like it's a wonderful world I know it wasn't. Now, personally? I can't remember exactly why it isn't. All I know is I have some part of my brain hardwired to see such women and then automatically run. You can't scare them off, you can't shut them off, you can't shut them out, you can't work with them, at all. Most women, in my experience, live in a neurotic world. No offense. However, they have some... parallels to or with reality, they have analogs that allow for some control, there is some basis for reality, if at times you really have to dig for it. Some women simply do not. And they will love you hard. For whatever that really means to them.
.
I also remember warning guys off from it. While it looks like it's a wonderful world I know it wasn't. Now, personally? I can't remember exactly why it isn't. All I know is I have some part of my brain hardwired to see such women and then automatically run. You can't scare them off, you can't shut them off, you can't shut them out, you can't work with them, at all. Most women, in my experience, live in a neurotic world. No offense. However, they have some... parallels to or with reality, they have analogs that allow for some control, there is some basis for reality, if at times you really have to dig for it. Some women simply do not. And they will love you hard. For whatever that really means to them.
It looks like another sunny day!
.
.
Well, partly sunny. And I'll definitely take it. The still mostly snowy Wellsville mountains are gleaming as the sun strikes them. I love having the picture-frame window that allows me to simply look out and enjoy such a grand view. How did I hear it described recently? Oh, right... I am living in a postcard.
Yesterday was tough. I barely made it into town. One more thing wrong and I wouldn't have made it. I didn't take my phone so I couldn't call my friend or send some late birthday cards. Further I didn't make it to the store. I did fill up and wash the Xter and make it to swimming. I am feeling totally burned out though, whether I get to things or not. I have tried to push through it but the limits aren't just psychic. Like a dog on a leash... *thwack!* And yet, everyone once in a while... *sprint!* *thwack* I just can't quit. I may actually make a run for it today again. A run into town without swimming and with my phone. Hmm, after I finish the dishes. I'll straddle the balance ball to wake up first though.
I did finally make it over to Aunty's. I offered what I thought were a few mild chuckles and some truths in an acceptance comment. I really had forgotten it was a contest. So winning was a serious deer in the headlights thing. How rude! Ah, I suppose I deserve every moment like that I get. What else slays me is that, as I suggested, I won, to a degree, for being more... male in my approach, perhaps? Or at least being in line with the judge. But right before I won, or learned I won? I went so far off the man-reservation with my 'thoughts' post that I almost thought I heard cries for me to relinquish my man card! Men don't whine well, so it was rather weak. Just some grumbling in the back of my mind. Then again, there are moments where every man gets a day off the ride. For a short bit. It just struck me as funny... and added to the dear in the headlights thing.
But, hey, if you are going to get caught sneaking somewhere naked, make sure they get their money's worth and do it with a *smile* Maybe that's just me, but it is how I do things. Or is it more that it how it works out so I just ran with it? Dunno, not exactly.
Welp? I have no idea. A bit more waking then I'll figure out what, who, where, and when, or more likely just figure out what then charge in like I know what I am doing. It usually works just as well with half the calories, urhm, actually twice the calories but that works on my he-man paleo diet. Good day.
.
Well, partly sunny. And I'll definitely take it. The still mostly snowy Wellsville mountains are gleaming as the sun strikes them. I love having the picture-frame window that allows me to simply look out and enjoy such a grand view. How did I hear it described recently? Oh, right... I am living in a postcard.
Yesterday was tough. I barely made it into town. One more thing wrong and I wouldn't have made it. I didn't take my phone so I couldn't call my friend or send some late birthday cards. Further I didn't make it to the store. I did fill up and wash the Xter and make it to swimming. I am feeling totally burned out though, whether I get to things or not. I have tried to push through it but the limits aren't just psychic. Like a dog on a leash... *thwack!* And yet, everyone once in a while... *sprint!* *thwack* I just can't quit. I may actually make a run for it today again. A run into town without swimming and with my phone. Hmm, after I finish the dishes. I'll straddle the balance ball to wake up first though.
I did finally make it over to Aunty's. I offered what I thought were a few mild chuckles and some truths in an acceptance comment. I really had forgotten it was a contest. So winning was a serious deer in the headlights thing. How rude! Ah, I suppose I deserve every moment like that I get. What else slays me is that, as I suggested, I won, to a degree, for being more... male in my approach, perhaps? Or at least being in line with the judge. But right before I won, or learned I won? I went so far off the man-reservation with my 'thoughts' post that I almost thought I heard cries for me to relinquish my man card! Men don't whine well, so it was rather weak. Just some grumbling in the back of my mind. Then again, there are moments where every man gets a day off the ride. For a short bit. It just struck me as funny... and added to the dear in the headlights thing.
But, hey, if you are going to get caught sneaking somewhere naked, make sure they get their money's worth and do it with a *smile* Maybe that's just me, but it is how I do things. Or is it more that it how it works out so I just ran with it? Dunno, not exactly.
Welp? I have no idea. A bit more waking then I'll figure out what, who, where, and when, or more likely just figure out what then charge in like I know what I am doing. It usually works just as well with half the calories, urhm, actually twice the calories but that works on my he-man paleo diet. Good day.
Wednesday, March 27, 2013
I never was good at cleaning up the place.
.
.
But I can offer a notion that is more... constructive? Yes, I think that is what I shall call it. No, it isn't my idea, only... well... depending on some things, it is what I am doing. Sure, getting in debt to build wealth is always... questionable. However, if the dollar is anti-wealth, than borrowing to create wealth is what? But it goes beyond owning a home. My life is based on buying things that do things, create things, provide sustenance, among other real and positive things. Sure, my system is not perfect. No system is perfect. Not in design or implementation. We are not perfect beings, yet. Ah, enough of my blathering and on to the show.
.
But I can offer a notion that is more... constructive? Yes, I think that is what I shall call it. No, it isn't my idea, only... well... depending on some things, it is what I am doing. Sure, getting in debt to build wealth is always... questionable. However, if the dollar is anti-wealth, than borrowing to create wealth is what? But it goes beyond owning a home. My life is based on buying things that do things, create things, provide sustenance, among other real and positive things. Sure, my system is not perfect. No system is perfect. Not in design or implementation. We are not perfect beings, yet. Ah, enough of my blathering and on to the show.
Ruh-rho!
.
.
Me and my big fingers! I saw a challenge the other day, dealing with haiku. Not only was it on specific pictures, with a theme, but also included archaic rules. Being an early bird the day I saw it, and feeling a little cheeky, I entered two... poems? Is haiku poetry, or what do you call the pieces? Never mind. Now, I entered them thinking it was just... like... a challenge. Well... it wasn't a challenge. It was a contest. And the contest is usually a ladies thing, generally. There was, I think, one other man who entered... a "poem" or "poems". Okay, with me so far?
Well? I won! And... what did I win? Ah, that. I won hosting the haiku contest here next Monday! What was it that comic said? I think he was talking about being married, but... it was still funny. Ah, right... Are you my friend? Do you love me? Do you think highly of me? Are you my friend? Shoot me. Run me over. Cut off my head. Just kill me, please! Nah, I'll... do this. But I have to... clean the place up to have the ladies over. I'll hide all the stuff that scares them, put away the visions as is possible, quit thinking on the past, present, and future for a few days... until the estrogen fades. Just... playing nice is all.
Me and my big fat fingers, I'm telling you. Oh, how did I win, you may ask? When I realized it was a contest, I thought for sure that it being mostly a women's club there was no way my sort of thinking would turn the trick. So I was relieved. Well, the lady in charge tricked me. She had her husband do the judging. A husband who has much in common with your own dear Doom, at least as far as arts, aesthetics, and principles go. Done in by my own kind, if I do understand. Then again, I was starting suspect that the cracker dame in charge was... liking on my winning entry as well. I think I was... well... doomed. Like Lou Gehrig, I... should have seen that coming.
Now to consider a reasonable topic. Civil War II is out, probably should stay clear of weapon and military themes, ought to avoid my notions on many topics too. But I can't just go all flowery and sweet. I would be letting the ladies down. Hmm, how about... taming, or identifying then taming, the beast within? Too much? I don't know. It does have a nice ring to it, but so does my sword and firearms. I am thinking... Any... suggestions would be most welcome. Urhm, but remember, I AM Doom, not some... granola eating tree hugger, if I have sampled both... in various ways. Never the mind.
Oh, and despite my native traditionalism, I believe I will choose a new variation on rules, relying on Zen principles and brevity, rather than a strict adherence to 5-7-5... Yeah, I know, but... Shut up. I almost heard you the first time.
Later.
.
Me and my big fingers! I saw a challenge the other day, dealing with haiku. Not only was it on specific pictures, with a theme, but also included archaic rules. Being an early bird the day I saw it, and feeling a little cheeky, I entered two... poems? Is haiku poetry, or what do you call the pieces? Never mind. Now, I entered them thinking it was just... like... a challenge. Well... it wasn't a challenge. It was a contest. And the contest is usually a ladies thing, generally. There was, I think, one other man who entered... a "poem" or "poems". Okay, with me so far?
Well? I won! And... what did I win? Ah, that. I won hosting the haiku contest here next Monday! What was it that comic said? I think he was talking about being married, but... it was still funny. Ah, right... Are you my friend? Do you love me? Do you think highly of me? Are you my friend? Shoot me. Run me over. Cut off my head. Just kill me, please! Nah, I'll... do this. But I have to... clean the place up to have the ladies over. I'll hide all the stuff that scares them, put away the visions as is possible, quit thinking on the past, present, and future for a few days... until the estrogen fades. Just... playing nice is all.
Me and my big fat fingers, I'm telling you. Oh, how did I win, you may ask? When I realized it was a contest, I thought for sure that it being mostly a women's club there was no way my sort of thinking would turn the trick. So I was relieved. Well, the lady in charge tricked me. She had her husband do the judging. A husband who has much in common with your own dear Doom, at least as far as arts, aesthetics, and principles go. Done in by my own kind, if I do understand. Then again, I was starting suspect that the cracker dame in charge was... liking on my winning entry as well. I think I was... well... doomed. Like Lou Gehrig, I... should have seen that coming.
Now to consider a reasonable topic. Civil War II is out, probably should stay clear of weapon and military themes, ought to avoid my notions on many topics too. But I can't just go all flowery and sweet. I would be letting the ladies down. Hmm, how about... taming, or identifying then taming, the beast within? Too much? I don't know. It does have a nice ring to it, but so does my sword and firearms. I am thinking... Any... suggestions would be most welcome. Urhm, but remember, I AM Doom, not some... granola eating tree hugger, if I have sampled both... in various ways. Never the mind.
Oh, and despite my native traditionalism, I believe I will choose a new variation on rules, relying on Zen principles and brevity, rather than a strict adherence to 5-7-5... Yeah, I know, but... Shut up. I almost heard you the first time.
Later.
Sleep cycle is coming in hot.
.
.
While trying to sling shot around the midnight moon back to mornings, and doing so, my mornings started coming in, roughly, anywhere from midnight to 2:00, which does make swimming in the early afternoon a stretch. And while it seemed sort of stuck there, the truth is the time was changing, for me, at a record pace. The last few mornings have been in the 4:00-5:00 neighborhood. How do I slow that down now? Most of you simply "do" that. When you have a sleep problem. I will it, set goals, and work with it, but whether it works or not is a whole other thing. Of course, I am a bit worn out by the sleep pattern changes as well. I can't really tell if I am sleeping too much or too little.
Today is the next scheduled swim day, and from what I can tell it is on track. I have my alarm set for 9:00 so as to get a shower in early, air dry, then get dressed and be on the road in time. I might even be able to make Mass today. I promise nothing, I can't. This is the first time in some time I have seen Mass in the strong possibilities window though. I have to get there when I can, if I can. Swimming has been pushing almost everything else in my life to the side. And, well, when recovering, that is just going to happen.
I have to imagine that, like watching a bug struggle, and I don't mean that in a bad way, my health struggles have to be interesting to watch. It beats watching the grass grow... if I think grass grows faster! The thing is, when grass is grown, it is then cut. Hopefully when I get well, I will just be well, then can further my exploration of notions religious, political, social, and such. While these are all combined, for me, in truth, there are areas that can be examined in a vacuum to extract exactness that might otherwise be missed. While marriage is a thing of God, it involves a man and a woman, regardless of what man tries to imply. So, examining any of the three actors, or some aspects of them, without the notions of the others, if quite imperfect, is very plausible, for example. Never mind all that... A bug, eh? Well, yes. Right now I am a beetle. I think I just flipped from being on my shell back. Now, lets see if my legs and coordination are back in order to begin crawling toward my next disaster?
I sure enjoy the girls. While Sassy is still a twitch monger, she is becoming much better at taking roost in the captain's seat. Sam is always good for some lap time, soaking in attention and warmth at her leisure. For some reason she is sick much less often now. I honestly think Sassy is less of a stress on her now, as Sassy ages and is less controlled by overwhelming kitten hungers and demands. Even if kittens are fed plenty and then some, they demand regurgitated food from older female cats I think. It's an instinct driven thing. And it might be just as needed as milk, for younglings. Have you ever seen a female cat who has had kittens that gets fat? Maybe there are some, but I haven't seen one. I think we are all, for what it's worth, adults here now. Big baby adults, but... that's okay too.
The weather reports say it will be sunny, and up to 56, if after opening the curtains I have some doubts. Even a partly sunny day would be good though. I'll take the sun whenever I can get it, at this time. Although toward the end of July, or as late as the end of August, cloudy days may be a treasure again? Who knows. I have no sense of whether the summer will be another scorcher or whether we will get a typical summer again. I am hoping that means good things. That isn't due to optimism, it's just that when I sense something about a season, it only means bad things. I don't sense normal or easy seasons. Now news is good news.
Good day.
Well, no Mass today. I suppose in some city somewhere they are holding Mass today, but not locally. It's M-T-F-S-S here. No W is sight. Ah well. I had forgotten I had been soaking dishes in the big tub. Halfway through those I realized today is not the day. On the good side I did get the dishes a first scrubbing, and after a shower, a final soak in on those. Bleh.
.
While trying to sling shot around the midnight moon back to mornings, and doing so, my mornings started coming in, roughly, anywhere from midnight to 2:00, which does make swimming in the early afternoon a stretch. And while it seemed sort of stuck there, the truth is the time was changing, for me, at a record pace. The last few mornings have been in the 4:00-5:00 neighborhood. How do I slow that down now? Most of you simply "do" that. When you have a sleep problem. I will it, set goals, and work with it, but whether it works or not is a whole other thing. Of course, I am a bit worn out by the sleep pattern changes as well. I can't really tell if I am sleeping too much or too little.
Today is the next scheduled swim day, and from what I can tell it is on track. I have my alarm set for 9:00 so as to get a shower in early, air dry, then get dressed and be on the road in time. I might even be able to make Mass today. I promise nothing, I can't. This is the first time in some time I have seen Mass in the strong possibilities window though. I have to get there when I can, if I can. Swimming has been pushing almost everything else in my life to the side. And, well, when recovering, that is just going to happen.
I have to imagine that, like watching a bug struggle, and I don't mean that in a bad way, my health struggles have to be interesting to watch. It beats watching the grass grow... if I think grass grows faster! The thing is, when grass is grown, it is then cut. Hopefully when I get well, I will just be well, then can further my exploration of notions religious, political, social, and such. While these are all combined, for me, in truth, there are areas that can be examined in a vacuum to extract exactness that might otherwise be missed. While marriage is a thing of God, it involves a man and a woman, regardless of what man tries to imply. So, examining any of the three actors, or some aspects of them, without the notions of the others, if quite imperfect, is very plausible, for example. Never mind all that... A bug, eh? Well, yes. Right now I am a beetle. I think I just flipped from being on my shell back. Now, lets see if my legs and coordination are back in order to begin crawling toward my next disaster?
I sure enjoy the girls. While Sassy is still a twitch monger, she is becoming much better at taking roost in the captain's seat. Sam is always good for some lap time, soaking in attention and warmth at her leisure. For some reason she is sick much less often now. I honestly think Sassy is less of a stress on her now, as Sassy ages and is less controlled by overwhelming kitten hungers and demands. Even if kittens are fed plenty and then some, they demand regurgitated food from older female cats I think. It's an instinct driven thing. And it might be just as needed as milk, for younglings. Have you ever seen a female cat who has had kittens that gets fat? Maybe there are some, but I haven't seen one. I think we are all, for what it's worth, adults here now. Big baby adults, but... that's okay too.
The weather reports say it will be sunny, and up to 56, if after opening the curtains I have some doubts. Even a partly sunny day would be good though. I'll take the sun whenever I can get it, at this time. Although toward the end of July, or as late as the end of August, cloudy days may be a treasure again? Who knows. I have no sense of whether the summer will be another scorcher or whether we will get a typical summer again. I am hoping that means good things. That isn't due to optimism, it's just that when I sense something about a season, it only means bad things. I don't sense normal or easy seasons. Now news is good news.
Good day.
Well, no Mass today. I suppose in some city somewhere they are holding Mass today, but not locally. It's M-T-F-S-S here. No W is sight. Ah well. I had forgotten I had been soaking dishes in the big tub. Halfway through those I realized today is not the day. On the good side I did get the dishes a first scrubbing, and after a shower, a final soak in on those. Bleh.
Tuesday, March 26, 2013
Yeah, I can bite.
.
.
I know, coming here, you might get a nip. You might even be swallowed whole in some of what I write. The choice, really, is yours and it is two-fold. First, visiting here. You have a choice in that. Second, you may discern what is written. Does the shoe fit? If it fits, and hurts, is there a reason for it? Further, if all of these things are accounted and you still feel wronged? You can comment. Just understand... I have very simple rules in my behavior. Christian, Catholic, compassionate, loving? Yes. But with real limits, a basic nature, and instincts born of flesh, sharpened by reality, and now in God's hands. I will love you all the way to, but not including, on the highway to hell. Or, at least, I won't travel with you or leave you on your path without a warning. *chomp* Swim with a great white at your peril, and my leisure. I don't go along to get along.
.
I know, coming here, you might get a nip. You might even be swallowed whole in some of what I write. The choice, really, is yours and it is two-fold. First, visiting here. You have a choice in that. Second, you may discern what is written. Does the shoe fit? If it fits, and hurts, is there a reason for it? Further, if all of these things are accounted and you still feel wronged? You can comment. Just understand... I have very simple rules in my behavior. Christian, Catholic, compassionate, loving? Yes. But with real limits, a basic nature, and instincts born of flesh, sharpened by reality, and now in God's hands. I will love you all the way to, but not including, on the highway to hell. Or, at least, I won't travel with you or leave you on your path without a warning. *chomp* Swim with a great white at your peril, and my leisure. I don't go along to get along.
Harnesses and work.
.
.
In a recent comedy video, the notion arose that a certain type of Britain, if harnessed, would produce a lot of work. The truth is, harness any man and you can get a lot of work from him. Now some men are weak, some men are ill, some men will balk at the intrusion, but most men were made to work. Some men are better at the physical aspects, other men are better at the logical type, some few are even exceptional at both. Personally, I think I was supposed to be the latter of the three, if that isn't a brag. Actually, it is nearly a regretful thing. It means I wasn't allowed to skate, at least when I was in good condition. The world comes down really hard on achievers and over-achievers who don't do their capacity, and then some, and the world knows!
My problem is that I don't have enough going to be harnessed by "the man", or even to work to becoming "the man". My schedule is off-kilter. I truly am not always able. And that ability might be available at noon, or 8:00, or 17:00 on any given day, plus be available only for a while. However, a wife might be able to learn to know what capacity is at hand and... supply a harness to use it. Nagging, from my experience, won't work. However, setting up the work environment and casually discussing it while having me look over the thing? That actually works. Three or four of my longer term loves of the past learned how to get me to work. My mother, finally, has learned the trick as well. A little patience and an allowance for rest periods, and even I can do things they simply can't, won't, or don't, or do some of their things while they do other things. Food after a heavy work period, though, just makes future projects more likely. Just... thinking.
Oh, true, harness a woman and she can do her own things pretty well too. But the actual pound for pound thing is a huge difference. Or more, a pound of our work compared to sixteen one ounce jobs of theirs seems to make it look out of balance, but it isn't. I prefer to work with pounds, they prefer to work with ounces, so it works... when it works. Women will always be on my mind. Uhrm, until I forget about them for a while. Which is safer to do while not with one, I'll tell you that from experience! :p
No, I didn't make it to swimming yesterday. Like Friday, I showered, and dressed, but nothing else was going. I couldn't move, got stuck, stopped, crashed, then slept. I'm not worried, Wednesday is the next chance. I suppose I could go today but I just... I simply don't have it in me. I will be sitting on the balance ball though. At least when I feel awake enough not to fall off the thing.
Later.
.
In a recent comedy video, the notion arose that a certain type of Britain, if harnessed, would produce a lot of work. The truth is, harness any man and you can get a lot of work from him. Now some men are weak, some men are ill, some men will balk at the intrusion, but most men were made to work. Some men are better at the physical aspects, other men are better at the logical type, some few are even exceptional at both. Personally, I think I was supposed to be the latter of the three, if that isn't a brag. Actually, it is nearly a regretful thing. It means I wasn't allowed to skate, at least when I was in good condition. The world comes down really hard on achievers and over-achievers who don't do their capacity, and then some, and the world knows!
My problem is that I don't have enough going to be harnessed by "the man", or even to work to becoming "the man". My schedule is off-kilter. I truly am not always able. And that ability might be available at noon, or 8:00, or 17:00 on any given day, plus be available only for a while. However, a wife might be able to learn to know what capacity is at hand and... supply a harness to use it. Nagging, from my experience, won't work. However, setting up the work environment and casually discussing it while having me look over the thing? That actually works. Three or four of my longer term loves of the past learned how to get me to work. My mother, finally, has learned the trick as well. A little patience and an allowance for rest periods, and even I can do things they simply can't, won't, or don't, or do some of their things while they do other things. Food after a heavy work period, though, just makes future projects more likely. Just... thinking.
Oh, true, harness a woman and she can do her own things pretty well too. But the actual pound for pound thing is a huge difference. Or more, a pound of our work compared to sixteen one ounce jobs of theirs seems to make it look out of balance, but it isn't. I prefer to work with pounds, they prefer to work with ounces, so it works... when it works. Women will always be on my mind. Uhrm, until I forget about them for a while. Which is safer to do while not with one, I'll tell you that from experience! :p
No, I didn't make it to swimming yesterday. Like Friday, I showered, and dressed, but nothing else was going. I couldn't move, got stuck, stopped, crashed, then slept. I'm not worried, Wednesday is the next chance. I suppose I could go today but I just... I simply don't have it in me. I will be sitting on the balance ball though. At least when I feel awake enough not to fall off the thing.
Later.
Awesome deployment right here at home.
.
.
This is happened in my back yard actually, in Arizona.
But it's just one, Doom! Oh? You want to see more? Scroll on down. And these are the ones that just happened to be caught on camera. How many others are there? While they bought 2700 armored troop transports, it is obvious that they have as many "other" transport and various minor combat support vehicles of various sorts. The... what we called deuce and a halfs are there, but so is something else. It could be some sort of weapons platform or water suppression vehicles. The images aren't clear enough for me. It looks like they really are ready for incursion, suppression, and transport for those deemed non-compliant (whatever that last actually means or will result in is another matter).
If I had to guess, I would suggest that they will hit cities first. Then again, I know they have been considering vacating the countryside, turning it into national lands "for it's preservation". It's difficult to know, exactly, what the first target would be. I am guessing it will be one, or the other, and believe it would be cities. Who knows though, perhaps I am missing the scope of the thing. I have to wonder how many sheriffs they will, or will try to murder and replace, as well. No one will be safe. Which is why so many 'solid politicians' and others in positions of power will buckle almost immediately. Their lives, even their families lives, versus turning a blind eye and otherwise playing along? These people have never had to fear, they won't react well to it when it lands on their plate.
Just playing out the scenario as if the task was left to me to devise. Don't expect your phones, of any kind, to work. My guess is they can and will shut down even sat phones. If they want you out of an area they will turn off electricity, and when they get to it water and gas. Food and water will not be delivered unless the area is in compliance, and it may be offered only from them, in discrete packages, according to household registration. When registering, those they want in custody will be filtered. For those who won't register but are wanted, extra rations will be offered for information.
It is coming.
.
This is happened in my back yard actually, in Arizona.
But it's just one, Doom! Oh? You want to see more? Scroll on down. And these are the ones that just happened to be caught on camera. How many others are there? While they bought 2700 armored troop transports, it is obvious that they have as many "other" transport and various minor combat support vehicles of various sorts. The... what we called deuce and a halfs are there, but so is something else. It could be some sort of weapons platform or water suppression vehicles. The images aren't clear enough for me. It looks like they really are ready for incursion, suppression, and transport for those deemed non-compliant (whatever that last actually means or will result in is another matter).
If I had to guess, I would suggest that they will hit cities first. Then again, I know they have been considering vacating the countryside, turning it into national lands "for it's preservation". It's difficult to know, exactly, what the first target would be. I am guessing it will be one, or the other, and believe it would be cities. Who knows though, perhaps I am missing the scope of the thing. I have to wonder how many sheriffs they will, or will try to murder and replace, as well. No one will be safe. Which is why so many 'solid politicians' and others in positions of power will buckle almost immediately. Their lives, even their families lives, versus turning a blind eye and otherwise playing along? These people have never had to fear, they won't react well to it when it lands on their plate.
Just playing out the scenario as if the task was left to me to devise. Don't expect your phones, of any kind, to work. My guess is they can and will shut down even sat phones. If they want you out of an area they will turn off electricity, and when they get to it water and gas. Food and water will not be delivered unless the area is in compliance, and it may be offered only from them, in discrete packages, according to household registration. When registering, those they want in custody will be filtered. For those who won't register but are wanted, extra rations will be offered for information.
It is coming.
Monday, March 25, 2013
The sun is up.
.
.
Beside getting the trash out, finishing filling the balance ball yesterday, being up probably in good order to get to swimming, I finally found the manuals for the camera I gave my friend. I just got the recycling out, I am hoping in time. Trash pickup isn't until much later so I am sure that will be fine. Having city utilities caught up makes putting out the various barrels a lot easier. There is just something about getting something for nothing that annoys me.
I am hoping, in the next week or so, to get to working on just cleaning my home. It needs some real work. Between drowning myself in the pool juxtaposed with not being able to stay awake, or at least fighting the sleep cycle, the last month has not been good for the man-cave. Plus I have taken the offensive on box elder bugs. First, used coffee grinds on the floor between the front door and the screen door. That gets a lot of them, but not extremely quickly. As well I am using a fly-swatter on those that still manage to get through. I honestly didn't think the fly-swatter would do more than make me feel better. But it has. And they haven't been coming in further lately, if the cold snap may be the only real reason. This offensive has left proof of my work like around like nasty tasting raisins or something.
I need to hit laundry too. I guess time will tell. I need to hurry. April is when I need to start planting seeds and tearing the wallpaper from the kitchen walls. Hopefully I can begin those things with a clean slate on my to-do list and open spaces in which to work. A sunny day will sure help. I don't even care if it is cold, and it is. I just need a little sunshine.
Later.
.
Beside getting the trash out, finishing filling the balance ball yesterday, being up probably in good order to get to swimming, I finally found the manuals for the camera I gave my friend. I just got the recycling out, I am hoping in time. Trash pickup isn't until much later so I am sure that will be fine. Having city utilities caught up makes putting out the various barrels a lot easier. There is just something about getting something for nothing that annoys me.
I am hoping, in the next week or so, to get to working on just cleaning my home. It needs some real work. Between drowning myself in the pool juxtaposed with not being able to stay awake, or at least fighting the sleep cycle, the last month has not been good for the man-cave. Plus I have taken the offensive on box elder bugs. First, used coffee grinds on the floor between the front door and the screen door. That gets a lot of them, but not extremely quickly. As well I am using a fly-swatter on those that still manage to get through. I honestly didn't think the fly-swatter would do more than make me feel better. But it has. And they haven't been coming in further lately, if the cold snap may be the only real reason. This offensive has left proof of my work like around like nasty tasting raisins or something.
I need to hit laundry too. I guess time will tell. I need to hurry. April is when I need to start planting seeds and tearing the wallpaper from the kitchen walls. Hopefully I can begin those things with a clean slate on my to-do list and open spaces in which to work. A sunny day will sure help. I don't even care if it is cold, and it is. I just need a little sunshine.
Later.
Why are muslims gaining ground?
.
.
On a recent jaunt through my usual blogs, I saw a post with a couple of videos. I was led to believe that the problem with islam is that they can't be taken seriously because they say the most outlandish things. The videos were supposed to be proof. Never mind my reaction, what I want you to do is think about what the two men are saying and decide for yourself which is truer.
.
On a recent jaunt through my usual blogs, I saw a post with a couple of videos. I was led to believe that the problem with islam is that they can't be taken seriously because they say the most outlandish things. The videos were supposed to be proof. Never mind my reaction, what I want you to do is think about what the two men are saying and decide for yourself which is truer.
Do you dare?
.
.
The truth is simple. Many try to make it complicated. All questions can be reduced through a set of affirmative and negative understandings. Some are not reduced in a series of these step answers for various reasons. Many because we don't know all of the intervening steps, nor can we be certain of the correct answers. Simply put, we don't know the answers. Sometimes, just as often I would add, the real reason we don't do the steps is because we believe there are too many steps, so we take shortcuts. We assume whole blocks to be this, or that. Further, a final reason we don't know is because we choose not to know. The question is, do you want to know? I have a few answers, and will offer them. Learn at your own peril.
.
The truth is simple. Many try to make it complicated. All questions can be reduced through a set of affirmative and negative understandings. Some are not reduced in a series of these step answers for various reasons. Many because we don't know all of the intervening steps, nor can we be certain of the correct answers. Simply put, we don't know the answers. Sometimes, just as often I would add, the real reason we don't do the steps is because we believe there are too many steps, so we take shortcuts. We assume whole blocks to be this, or that. Further, a final reason we don't know is because we choose not to know. The question is, do you want to know? I have a few answers, and will offer them. Learn at your own peril.
Sunday, March 24, 2013
What is conservativism?
.
.
Don't let leftist revisionists, as if there was anything else, tell you what you believe. I know many people struggle with basic terms. The problem here is that the media, academia, and even politicians who claim to be conservative, either don't actually know and just make it up or know but don't want you to figure it rightly. They try to suggest that conservativism is based on a belief in the past, for it's own sake. Roughly traditionalism, if even that is a little too close to some variation of the truth for them to be comfortable with you knowing... so they use terms such as anachronistic, neanderthal, backward, etc. They, of course, being onward, forward, progressive, free minded, etc.
The truth is, conservativism is a political theory based upon some very well defined principles and truths. And these ideas aren't even man-made. The principles upon which true conservativism are based were created by God, handed down initially through to Jews, then on to Christians. While it is true that conservatives hold to the old, the principles are not relative to a specific time or place, but to a Being, one who is timeless. There have been, and remain, various takes on these truths, to a limited degree. Certainly a Catholic, a Southern Baptist, and a Mormon would have various takes, and weights, of these things. And yet there isn't, in life practice, all that much difference. None of these would believe murder or rape would be tolerable. None of those, if practicing as they were taught, would believe even the theft of a $10 bill would be allowable. The bar isn't variable by the color of skin, the wealth someone might have attained, or any other measure. It is equal, and truly blind. This is the basis for conservativism.
Of course, this means that female politicians are not conservative. Nor are gay politicians. There is no such big tent. Is there room for sinners? Sure, just not those choosing to live a life of sin, and publicly. There isn't a conservative who isn't a sinner. But if he isn't constantly reconciling his sins, then he isn't a conservative. So, all these notions of opening the possibilities is merely an attempt to quash true conservativism. Something the Republican leadership is deadset on doing.
So, what are modern liberals, progressives, and the rest? Godless. They are no more a new thing than conservatives are. One is not newer, younger, fresher... the other being old and out-of-date. Actually, with Cain being the first progressive and Christ being the first true conservative, they are far older in their base. Uhrm, at least on earth. Conservativism existed first, but it was shattered by our willfulness. You see, it doesn't matter if you believe yourself to be right, and believe that you believe in God. If it doesn't show, if you don't adhere to what God has clearly written, and spoken, if you choose what of those things to believe in... in the end, it is not God you believe in, but yourself. You can't be openly gay, or even a female politician, and believe in the principles God put forth. You can't be for subjugating people and be Christian. You can't even support the notion of a king and be a faithful servant of God. You can't hate, especially hate God, especially pretty much as a political party, and be Godly. You are what you are. But that doesn't sell to the low information voter, so they will never admit it.
Oh, I am positive a true wordsmith, such as William Buckley, Jr. could have done a better job of it. I'm not sure if he ever went so far, however. I am not sure how far back censuring began, or how deeply it ran. In any case, this should be a start. If I were to have had someone write the thing out more fully and in a better way, he could have done it. I am sure there are others, living and dead, who probably could have and did express the thing much more eloquently. But, this isn't their blog... you get what you get.
Good day.
.
Don't let leftist revisionists, as if there was anything else, tell you what you believe. I know many people struggle with basic terms. The problem here is that the media, academia, and even politicians who claim to be conservative, either don't actually know and just make it up or know but don't want you to figure it rightly. They try to suggest that conservativism is based on a belief in the past, for it's own sake. Roughly traditionalism, if even that is a little too close to some variation of the truth for them to be comfortable with you knowing... so they use terms such as anachronistic, neanderthal, backward, etc. They, of course, being onward, forward, progressive, free minded, etc.
The truth is, conservativism is a political theory based upon some very well defined principles and truths. And these ideas aren't even man-made. The principles upon which true conservativism are based were created by God, handed down initially through to Jews, then on to Christians. While it is true that conservatives hold to the old, the principles are not relative to a specific time or place, but to a Being, one who is timeless. There have been, and remain, various takes on these truths, to a limited degree. Certainly a Catholic, a Southern Baptist, and a Mormon would have various takes, and weights, of these things. And yet there isn't, in life practice, all that much difference. None of these would believe murder or rape would be tolerable. None of those, if practicing as they were taught, would believe even the theft of a $10 bill would be allowable. The bar isn't variable by the color of skin, the wealth someone might have attained, or any other measure. It is equal, and truly blind. This is the basis for conservativism.
Of course, this means that female politicians are not conservative. Nor are gay politicians. There is no such big tent. Is there room for sinners? Sure, just not those choosing to live a life of sin, and publicly. There isn't a conservative who isn't a sinner. But if he isn't constantly reconciling his sins, then he isn't a conservative. So, all these notions of opening the possibilities is merely an attempt to quash true conservativism. Something the Republican leadership is deadset on doing.
So, what are modern liberals, progressives, and the rest? Godless. They are no more a new thing than conservatives are. One is not newer, younger, fresher... the other being old and out-of-date. Actually, with Cain being the first progressive and Christ being the first true conservative, they are far older in their base. Uhrm, at least on earth. Conservativism existed first, but it was shattered by our willfulness. You see, it doesn't matter if you believe yourself to be right, and believe that you believe in God. If it doesn't show, if you don't adhere to what God has clearly written, and spoken, if you choose what of those things to believe in... in the end, it is not God you believe in, but yourself. You can't be openly gay, or even a female politician, and believe in the principles God put forth. You can't be for subjugating people and be Christian. You can't even support the notion of a king and be a faithful servant of God. You can't hate, especially hate God, especially pretty much as a political party, and be Godly. You are what you are. But that doesn't sell to the low information voter, so they will never admit it.
Oh, I am positive a true wordsmith, such as William Buckley, Jr. could have done a better job of it. I'm not sure if he ever went so far, however. I am not sure how far back censuring began, or how deeply it ran. In any case, this should be a start. If I were to have had someone write the thing out more fully and in a better way, he could have done it. I am sure there are others, living and dead, who probably could have and did express the thing much more eloquently. But, this isn't their blog... you get what you get.
Good day.
In the nether.
.
.
Ode to the women I have met. Not lovers, just... other travelers on the road of life.
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Ode to the women I have met. Not lovers, just... other travelers on the road of life.
Wow, yeah, sleep.
.
.
Okay. Alright. I get it. I had been pouting about not swimming Friday. It looked, to me, like I had just been lazy. After spending Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, and... is it Sunday already? And Saturday too, sleeping in long shifts, waking for good solid but short hunks of time, and having no real energy to do anything else, I think it is fair to say that I did what I could this week. It would actually be fair to say I pushed it to a serious cut-off and then some. As I get stronger I become a much harsher judge of these things. I'm not worried about that, though, really. It means I won't be a lazy-bones and it doesn't seem as if I have enough spit to push myself to literal death. I may fail to do what I hope or want to do. But that won't be because of a lack of effort. If anything I have to be a little careful with my exuberance.
My heart really does limit me. The weather isn't helping. And yet I am still getting to some good exercise. Not three months ago I wasn't able to exercise at all, without a drug that should have been lethal. Remember when a down time, even just a few years ago, would lead to months of downtime? And I mean serious downtime, where I didn't have all but a few hours of weak consciousness? Yeah, not bad. It's just patience is not my forte, specifically when it concerns my efforts. You really should have seen me in my prime. What I find amazing is, when I was able to work hard, fast, and smart? I didn't consider it... impressive. I expected it from those around me and stuck with those who not only could, but did. And they didn't impress me, that was expected. Now, to get back to that. In a way, I am getting there though. I have noticed people watching me in the pool... in disbelief. They know what I am, but not how I do what I do. Now to fill my life with that, again.
Oh, that doesn't make me better. It simply makes me fulfilled. It isn't about you, them, me. It's about doing what I can, should, was made to do. That's all. And, of course, the notion that I need to take wing soon. I have to be away, this thing that is about to come is not my thing, or for me. Not at the beginning, or in it's raw form. Time... tick-tock tick-tock tick-tock... Monday it is.
.
Okay. Alright. I get it. I had been pouting about not swimming Friday. It looked, to me, like I had just been lazy. After spending Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, and... is it Sunday already? And Saturday too, sleeping in long shifts, waking for good solid but short hunks of time, and having no real energy to do anything else, I think it is fair to say that I did what I could this week. It would actually be fair to say I pushed it to a serious cut-off and then some. As I get stronger I become a much harsher judge of these things. I'm not worried about that, though, really. It means I won't be a lazy-bones and it doesn't seem as if I have enough spit to push myself to literal death. I may fail to do what I hope or want to do. But that won't be because of a lack of effort. If anything I have to be a little careful with my exuberance.
My heart really does limit me. The weather isn't helping. And yet I am still getting to some good exercise. Not three months ago I wasn't able to exercise at all, without a drug that should have been lethal. Remember when a down time, even just a few years ago, would lead to months of downtime? And I mean serious downtime, where I didn't have all but a few hours of weak consciousness? Yeah, not bad. It's just patience is not my forte, specifically when it concerns my efforts. You really should have seen me in my prime. What I find amazing is, when I was able to work hard, fast, and smart? I didn't consider it... impressive. I expected it from those around me and stuck with those who not only could, but did. And they didn't impress me, that was expected. Now, to get back to that. In a way, I am getting there though. I have noticed people watching me in the pool... in disbelief. They know what I am, but not how I do what I do. Now to fill my life with that, again.
Oh, that doesn't make me better. It simply makes me fulfilled. It isn't about you, them, me. It's about doing what I can, should, was made to do. That's all. And, of course, the notion that I need to take wing soon. I have to be away, this thing that is about to come is not my thing, or for me. Not at the beginning, or in it's raw form. Time... tick-tock tick-tock tick-tock... Monday it is.
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