Finally on a schedule.

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I had worked so hard to bring my days and nights into alignment with that of business and natural elements.  A struggle I have known, and my mother before me regarding me from as soon as I was brought to our home for the first time.  I was born for the night.  Businesses, medical practitioners, friends, associates, and the rest, simply don't care about your personal problems.  So... I have struggled to comply, at least enough to get by, more if I can.  Between this and that, I ended up pushing things a bit too much this last time.  I almost thought I was going to overshoot the landing strip.  While I did go to bed a bit late last night, carried over from a long day making sleep difficult, it wasn't as late as it was the night before.  More, I woke right in around 3:30 or 4:00.  Took a while to realize it was actually time to get up.  I really had to think about it.

Sore around the scruff, with some sort of dryness in my naval cavities, and with a touch of general exhaustion, I realize I have been, for me, pushing things.  That doesn't mean I am going to give in, only that I may fail at a moments notice.  For me, that isn't an admission, only something to manage.  If I see problems, perhaps a nap.  If pain becomes an issue, and I have things I yet want to do... think I can do... perhaps some painkiller.  My job isn't to trick my body, merely to help it do some things.

The goal, today, is to gather my good clothes which need dry cleaning, get those in, take my friend to lunch, then when I return, hit boxes a bit.  No more, nothing fancy, I won't even suggest I will get through, or should do, all the boxes.  That isn't probably likely, if it might be possible.  After yesterday, and recent days, plus just getting days and nights in some kind of order, I am... pushing some limits.  To do just a bit, today, is good enough.

I may, also, do a bit of prep for making pita bread, and while at it make tortilla dough.  I might as well make a big enough batch of each to make three batches, freezing most of each.  I simply want to experiment with the stuff.  I love homemade flour tortillas and have wanted to make a jab at pita bread.  Eventually "regular" bread is on the menu as well.  Sometimes that is good, sometimes it is a bit dense.  I probably never would bake bread at home, not often.  Just... want to tinker with it.

On to my morning.  Later.

Good! Good day that is.

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A bit of shopping here, then there.  Grocery and other.  My friend is looking for compression socks, above the knee.  I wouldn't mind having a pair or two myself.  It helps with some things, though isn't really needed daily.  Too hot anyway.  Once in a while, though, even I can agree that such might help.

I found everything I wanted.  I didn't buy everything.  I though the egg plant available looked a bit small for the price, and not quite ready for such a main ingredient in that kind of dish.  Oh, and the bread store wasn't open.  I... knew that, too.  Bleh.  I have a loaf in the freezer.  It will do nicely, if I hit hummus again soon.  Oh, but I purchased cold cuts, so will need that either way.  I bought hoagies and sandwich rolls, which might actually be enough.  Still, that ciabatta can't be beat for deli sandwiches.  I'll think on that.

I now have enough ingredients to make mayo and some other things in plenty, and over time.  I did make aioli tonight.  It didn't mix as well, or thickly, as I had hoped.  I had to add Dijon mustard.  That did work well enough.  I had a smattering of it with my deli sandwich... and it was quite good.  I left the remains with my friend.

I am not sure if I mentioned it, but I did receive my medical card today.  There are still a ton of hurdles that must be attended... the doctor, and his clinic I suppose, have to accept it... the V.A. has to approve of the doctor... who knows what else.  I hope to place a few calls tomorrow.  I still need to go in, to have my good clothes cleaned and pay a bill.  Money, money, money, but it's... all good.  Some expenses are better than others.  Hopefully, within the month, I might have medicine and doctors back in line so as to start up that whole mess again.

It's been good.  To get out, to do things, to start on things, to begin making promises and being able to keep them, cooking and maybe baking before long...  Yes, it is starting to look like it might end up being a successful spring.  Later, or good night.

A day of it, perhaps.

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Two calls, no answer.  No matter.  I had plans in the running and believed this or that would go forth.  Shopping.  Nothing fancy, just a few daily items and several new items.  I will be sampling olive oils.  Many are no more extra virgin than I am.  Way out, that.  I doubt if anyone I know would know, and you can't believe the producers, and the FDA has become just a union job market for the otherwise unemployable... they certainly don't check food, unless it is produced by a conservative or they think they can fine a producer enough to have another conference in Las Vegas this month.  Not so much asleep at the wheel as criminally complicit in going off the road.  Still, have to pick something.  Cost and taste are the two measures.  I would say health, but that would only be possible with a functional bureaucracy.  Has there ever been such a thing?  Anyway...

So, shopping.  It would also be good to get out, just for a country drive, if with birds or other wildlife in mind... just because.  It's a rough and tumble day, weatherwise.  No precip, but it's on the tip of mother nature's tongue.  Could go wet, even to snow.  Might just look like mother when she finds her chocolates have been plundered but can't quite be sure by whom.  Or it might just turn bright.  I love it when it hits all three, then does it again.  Reminds me of the variable beauty to life.

I actually am hoping to pick a few things up in order to make aioli.  Use that with some of the bread and cold cuts, even yet today.  Aioli?  Really, it is just garlic mayo, sans mustard.  Oh, fine, here.  Further, no electronics are needed, it does last a while if put up right, and it just looks good.  After too much garlic in the first hummus batch, I might go with half a clove of garlic in this.  Fresh bread, top of the line deli cuts, and this?  Yeah.  Hmm, fresh spinach would do well, or some other crispy leafy green.  Maybe green onion as well.

Hmm, sun is peaking out.  Though, as I said, especially it being spring, I don't mind which way it goes.  It just can't get too cold for me, in any practical way.  Sure, if my vehicle broke down, I couldn't hitch it out, and night fell, yeah...  Even that might not actually get me, unless I comatized where no one would notice.

Life is good, people.  Figure out how to enjoy it.  I'll head out a bit later, right after a nice spot of tea that just came in and some music.  That was, actually, the first thing I relearned to do when I was beginning to apply problem solving to real life... figuring out how to enjoy the bounty of breath.  Good day.

Too much garlic.

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In the hummus.  Being the man that I am, however, I fell on my sword, after falling all over it, and ate the Med goo like a real Mensch.  Didn't have to tell, or ask, me twice.  Too much garlic, did I mention.  Truth be told, for me, there almost is no such thing.  Still, I will back it down next time.  Just in case, or so that, I may share it.  Oh, and it probably ought to be brought up to room temp.  I think that would help.  The last thing?  I think I missed adding salt.  Still, I was quite pleased with it.  Even if I will have garlic breath for a week.

I didn't get down until after midnight.  I think, with the sun being up a bit longer, and that varying due to spring weather moodiness, a long sunny day which isn't impeded thus dark at all, ends up keeping me awake longer.  I got enough sleep though.  Not too worried, if I really want to go to bed by 18:00 to 20:00, if possible.  Then wake in the early dark.  Again, if possible.

To town sometime soon.  Shopping, a fishing license, perhaps a day out if I can get my friend to go.  Oh, and he has some things he wants done.  Tasks my assistance would be useful.  Good to be useful.  Actually, I think that is a fundamental need, and a difficult thing to obtain in my condition.

A shower in an hour or so.  Then a call to see what is what, or leave a message.  A review of wants from the store, needs if some recipes are to go forward.  If the call doesn't go through, only a message is left, perhaps boxes can begin to be collected and deconstructed.

Life is good, boys and girls.  You don't even have to try, just do.  You will see.  I am no angel, nor saint, but that is the goal.  I'll tuck you all into silent prayers as I go through my day, just so's you know someone cares.  Later.

Yeah, good.

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Not all, but I'll share some.  Some things are just for me.

I never did find the stick blender.  I did look.  And, as I improve the kitchen, I will find it.  No doubt.  I don't need it immediately.  For mayo, I need a much milder olive oil.  Now, I love o.o. as much as the next, probably a bit more.  It just doesn't work as a base for mayo, not the strong stuff.  I am not sure if peanut oil would work, and perhaps, in time, I will try it.  But, for now, no.  While I have a good portion of extra virgin olive oil, I'll have to wait until I buy some milder stuff.  Probably... maybe... tomorrow.

Now, I did arrange to make, then produce, hummus.  Being later, I didn't even allow it to settle for six hours.  I simply set a portion of it aside, right after finishing in the little processor, putting the rest away.  Even though it is not all melded, it certainly wasn't bad.  The rest is away, in the fridge, doing it's thing.  Oh, but I forgot to buy, and add, plain yogurt!  Still, not bad.  I suspect, over time, and when I have all of the ingredients, I might really do well.  Though next time I would like to make pitas for with it, as well as yogurt cooked meat of some sort... chicken, lamb, and goat are the more common meats, though I suppose, done right, beef and perhaps even pork might do?

Trash and recycling were taken out, if only trash was taken to the curb.  I simply only had one partial bag of recycling, removing it, even then, only for fear of a stink if I didn't.  I wasn't sure I would get to any of this.  It wasn't all that much, and yet it really was, in my mood, or health, or state.  Not bad, just on the low energy side of things.  If I do get out, I'll even get the trash barrel back in.  I need to go to the post office, so... that means, if I can, and earlier out tomorrow.

I do need to make another grocery list.  Yogurt, male egg plants (dot, not dash... look at them the next time you are in the store), and... more.  I'll have to see if I can find my old list and revise it.  I got most of the list, then ran out of steam.  Hmm, oh, wet cat food.  I got dry, and litter.  They didn't have what I was looking to buy.  Though I believe there must be another five or six items.  I have the stuff for a Mirepoix (pronounce moir paw, give or take).  A beef roast, with that, might be interesting... just to see it work with something I am well acquainted.  

I have the next two Sundays with something each.  A social call on one, the men are putting on a meal for the other.  I agreed to help.  I'll have to get... ah, right... my slacks and sport coat need to go in to the dry cleaner.  I found dress shoes, I'll just need to dust those.  Bleh.  I am horrible about some things.

Good night.

Finally, a bit.

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I was blackmailing my want of a shower with the dishes.  I could have drained that, taken a shower, and put them back, resetting the soak.  What I have found is that, unless you wash the dishes, just changing the water, no matter how hot, did not clean the dishes.  It just doesn't.  So, rather than wasting time and effort, if I can, I like to wash with each sudsy soak.  The worst of pots, pans, dishes, or else seem to come clean after two soakings, unless I burned something really much or left it setting for too long.  Blahk!  No such case was a difficulty.  They all, actually, seem quite clean.  I am simply waiting to make sure the water heater is full up before dousing the dishes in that liquid fire and soap.

Showers, baths, whatever... wonderful things.  Too many aren't healthy, too few aren't either, but not even on the same person, over the same set time period, will ensure that another cleaning is required.  The fear of body odor keeps me more on the cautious side.  And yet, how can you tell?  We become immune to our own stink, sometimes.  Even spouses can miss it, or... just not say anything... or say something, but only when it is too late.  Though, on that latter, I learned my women to either shut up or go with it.  I can, and have, pulled the plug on important social events if, nearing the door, I am told I am unsat.  I'm king, baby.  Don't toy.  No man or group is above my laws and ways, save those of God.  Which, actually, are rather scant in many ways.  Anyway, I sure love showering.  I might get back to bathing a bit more, as the weather is warming.  A long sitbath, with or without salts and scents... window open, perhaps some music, and who knows... Ah... bath toys!  *grins*

I haven't found the stick blender.  I haven't put the hummus together.  I haven't gotten the trash out.  And, yet, I have hope for some or all of that, after I recover from the facial trimming, dishes, then shower.  Yeah, as it heats up, until I get used to it, even little things are going to knock the wind out of me.  Though, most likely, for much shorter periods of time.  It feels like going through a timed entry.  Move ten feet, stop and rest, move another ten feet, etc.  I don't get anywhere very quickly, but if I stay I track, I do notice, over several runs, that I have moved along.  Quicker than it felt, too, overall.

I may actually open the doors and windows, get some fresh air in.  It's a wonderful day.  I hope tomorrow is as nice.  I do hope to get out then.  I may, if I remember to clean some jars, pick up some honey for various neighbors.  The mountain flower stuff.  Just a little thank you, or happy spring, or pass it along type of thing.  I would like to try the honey from even closer, too.  Having several sources isn't a bad plan, along with a working association.

On to... something.  Maybe some music.  Later.

It took years to begin solving problems.

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Little to big, for many years, decades really, I had fallen to reactionary living.  If something would break or fail, replacement was quite difficult.  I depended on luck, friends, and family.  At the best, even when all was on my side, that didn't work well.  Some options that had made life easier simply went away when failure or consumption was complete.  I couldn't always think my way through to action, and then memory would consume even the memory of the want or need.  This has changed.

Recently, for winter, I have added a pair of bath robes.  Nothing fancy, but very hand for cool weather.  As well, thicker pajama bottoms.  Further, house slippers with bottoms that allow me to go out... if I surely would not wish to need to walk far in them.  Summer is shorts season.  I used to despise shorts, choosing to tough it out rather than diminish... in my eyes... stylistically.  Thing is, I kept believing that regular shoes would do fine in the summer.  But they don't, nor do regular slippers.  Too hot.  As with many things, resistance for various reasons, considerations all around, and various other obstacles kept me from digging in.  Well, and the hassle, fear of costs, etc.  Not this year.  I decided, before it gets too hot, to begin my search for hot weather home, mostly, footwear.  Cheap, yes.  That was part of the goal.  I will, probably, go a bit better, next winter, with slippers.  Proof of concept was good, now to find slippers that don't stink so quickly, and maybe socks that work well enough... plus slightly larger slippers.  One thing, this year, I hope to do is start with sandals that won't be awful.  My first choice, and ordered just yesterday.  A size 14, and a 13 in a slightly different style.  No between the toe stink maker, adjustable, with a reasonable sole, not too much material...  A problem solver, a potential one.

It is much better, life, when problem solving occurs.  Oh, I know, a simple thing.  And, some problems I tend much better than others.  If, however, what needs to be tending is a weakness, or limits solution production itself, it is a bit more difficult.  Some believe that they are good at problem solving, but really aren't.  They are, quite often, just high reactive.  Very often solving without weighing everything in the balance.  I am often as such, though that is improving.  Cost to solution ratio, true quality of the solution, how to add to the solution in a time, energy, thought, and cost effective manner, then better or worse through a whole list of possible addendums to a list of possible solutions.  See, this sandal is just one part of a whole host of pieces.  It is, as sandals go, in theory for now, of a solid enough quality that it won't cause foot odor or simply fall apart nearly immediately... it is useful for more than just indoors to a reasonable degree... it is cool enough, most likely, and due to the adjustability, perhaps can be worn with socks of burning is an issue for any amount of time outdoors... But it is just one part of a solution set, only some of which will be tended this year.  Add in that shorts are now on the menu, larger and less covering shirts of various sorts are added in, and then the ac for this year... perhaps another one as well... and an whole house ac some time in the very near future.  Bleh... problem solving, weighing the coins in one's pockets, and considering all else... tricky.  Finally doable, to a degree.  Small but important.

Eggs, of some sort.  Maybe french toast.  Perhaps french toast and eggs?  Maybe.  But just a bit.  Two eggs, scrambled, two smaller orders of whole wheat french toast?  Most likely.  Right after I feed the girls, or they will meowl and meowrl the whole way through making my own breakfast.  And they have been, mostly, patient this morning as I have been attempting to wiggle my way out of sleep and the chill that seems to remain regardless of what I do.  After that, and a bit of time to let the food settle, I'll wash and reset the dishes.  Later.

A day of rest or not?

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Yes, yes, Sunday.  All day.  Tired, yet, but... maybe not that tired.  As I explained, given that many days, and much of each day, is forced to be given over to rest, I have to believe that if God sees me working on the Sabbath, he will know it's because my ass has fallen in a hole.  All I'm saying.

I can't keep up, so if I can work today, I will.  The bathroom might get a sweeping and the bowl cleaned.  I take the seat in while I shower, which also allows me to clean the brush and brush stand.  Yeah, it might sound bad, but to keep things up I have to... negotiate, fudge, mulligan, out of, into, and around projects.  It works.  Dishes before I can get in.  Not all of them, most of them though have been collected.  I'll do that lot, wash it once, set it out, shower and do some cleaning, then put them back for a rinse or second hot sudsy soak.  Resting a bit after that.

If I can do something else, it will be to collect boxes and begin tearing them down.  I hope to be into town sometime early this week, they can go in then.  As a last item, trash needs to be readied.  Well, last work item.  I realize I need to reset my checks for city utilities.  I'll see if I can find the latest bill, cover that, and begin with a year or two collection of checks.  It's easier for them and myself.  Much easier.  That is as much as I hope to do today...  Well, save for putting a batch of hummus together.  If I make enough, and I might, I just might cut a small share out to taste before flavors meld... as a, oh what do they call it?  Use it as a base sample, or some such.  Plus, I must admit, my mouth is watering for it.  I'll let it set for six hours, anyway, give or take, before I sample.

Sleeping and waking were easy enough, and about the right times.  All good.  Later.

Oh, but first, a better mayo recipe.  I like this one better.  As well, it had both Dijon and garlic, so you could go more, or all the way, one way or the other using this and some personally preferential sliding scale.

A day for rest.

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I just couldn't get much going.  I did make a couple of meals, finished rinsing and removing tags from fruit, the letting it dry before setting it out in a basket.  Of course, the girls were fed, water changed, though I skipped doing the litter.  I'll do that now, as I get ready for bed.  I suspected a day or two of rest might be needed.  Yesterday was simply a bit much.  And the minor sunburn added to it.  Though I think that is, mostly, all better.  I recover quickly, if the burn isn't too bad.  It wasn't, simply rather noticeable.

It is about bedtime.  I'll set the alarm, though for a time I am hoping to beat.  A shower, first thing.  Not sure it will help, it just usually can't hurt.  Then I'll... look around.  Boxes, as I said.  And some work spaces in the kitchen.  I would sure like to put together a batch of hummus, though, unless I do it very early in the day, I won't consume any of it until the next day.  Why?  The flavors need time to meld.  That's just the way it is.  I have heard, generally, at least six hours, if overnight is better.

Hmm... before bed, I might have a beer or two.  I just have a thirst for a bit of the bubbly yellow.  Oh, for deglazing, while lemon or lime might work, white and red wine vinegars are sometimes suggested.  I would like to have a number of options, depending on what the recipe calls for, and then over time what my own taste buds suggest.  I may have to lay up several cases of table wine, for cooking and else.  Not too expensive, but to my taste.  Just for my own occasional feast.  But for others, I will attempt to find a best next option.

Good night.

Finding things.

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The first, culinary, item I want to find is my stick blender.  I have everything I need for the recipes I can remember save this.  What will it be used to make?  Mayonnaise.  I have been wanting to make mayonnaise for a very long time.  The advantage?  It tastes much better, and can be made in small batches.  A double-edged advantage is that it doesn't last like.  Why is that double-edged?  Well, then you don't over-use the stuff.  It's not super healthy, a bit fattening.  Hush, I am fat because I have been crippled by a nearly dead heart for decades, and again have no treatment options for it.  so don't give me carp, or crap.  Still, I know what is what, if I don't always have the attention span in such a condition to do much about it.  Okay, so, the one bad edge is you have a small amount and it doesn't last long.  Of course, the good edge is pretty much the same thing, as mentioned.  Oh, and adding ketchup to it, and perhaps a bit of hot stuff, would make a very good dipping sauce.  I won't make my own ketchup because I have never been really impressed with that.  It's more like a tomato chutney, no thank you.  Sure, once in a while, as an culinary art thing, but not a daily driver.

I am hoping, in a week or two, to buy a few deli cuts.  No huge blowout.  That's good, perhaps, twice a year.  Still, a small amount of beef, salami, and a couple cheeses, plus artisan bread, then the homemade mayo.  Yeah.  Dine on that for three days and just enjoy the view.  Hmm... would make an excellent day pack picnic fixing for a day in the mountains, innit?  Life is improving, even if it's a bit of a struggle without meds.  Lemons?  Lemonade.

Just thought I would tease some of you with a notion or three.  If the dead can dance, why not you?  Good day.

Not rough, strange.

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I was awake until midnight.  I felt thoroughly roughed up, used up, dried out, and under the weather when I finally arrived home.  I still had to put things up.  Somethings could wait until the morning, but the fridge and freezer requiring materials had to be laid in, which meant separation as well.  And so it was.  Still, I was in bed, according to the the alarm clock, somewhere between a quarter and three quarters past midnight.  Very late.  Neck hurt, which was creeping up the spine and I thought sure to result in a headache, even when and certainly while I slept.  Plus, I was burned.  Not sure if that has healed already.  Sometimes, for light burns, I do heal fast.  I was not looking forward to morning, whatever and whenever that might be.

As it turns out, morning was at right at 7:00.  I hadn't bothered to set the alarm.  I couldn't tell if I would be popping out earlier or later and didn't want to be tripping over the device... not this morning.  Though it is a bit... rustic, here in the body, it isn't bad, not yet.  It might go bad, there is that vein if my body goes that way... tender nerves on the neck leading into headachesville.  I didn't exhaust any muscles, per se, simply tweaked my general capacity for an extended stay while switching day and night.  All good, mind you.  I need to keep pushing things, from time to time.  Still, all in all, it is a good start to the morning.

I already put the fruits to a soak, and will be tending those before long.  Some things aren't washed, of course.  Onions, scallions, garlic cloves...  I don't even wash the bigger potatoes until I use them.  They have been cleaned a bit, but a little of that on the out layer keeps them longer, or so I have heard.  Scrub them just before use, I believe, is how mothersville puts it.  Not all such tales are true, though you can trust science less quite often, so...  Pick your poison.  I generally, on some things, break toward mothersville... if I don't always do it easily, freely, or openly.  They'll take advantage if they see you doing it.  *grins*

What today?  I am not absolutely sure anything will go forward.  If I can get out of my my coffin and find my walker, you ask?  Well...  breaking down boxes, sorting some things as I go, and if I get through those, then on to the kitchen.  In the kitchen I am hoping to do a top down break down and cleaning, while sorting, on the exterior spaces.  Then, when that is done, doing a check, clean, and toss, on the cabinet cupboard interiors.  Yes.  I think I can.  I do not know how women keep everything "up", put away.  Some do better, some not so much.  But most women I have known have been sticklers about it.  I guess I don't know stickler!  I'd like to try to figure out how to do so.  I want a clean, or at least clean looking (though with a solid footing) home.  And I want to cook, and be able to cook... and otherwise tinker... in the kitchen.  With the table perpetually clear, for example, I can much more easily sharpen knives.  I would like to sharpen, or attempt to sharpen, my own kitchen knives... and my straight razors.  Even if I don't get it just so, at the start... which already I haven't... over time I will learn.  It's the angle, especially for the Shun knives (more because it is a different angle, more like, say, 12 to 15... while I have learned more like an 18 to 22 degree grind angle.

Cooking, and tinkering, cleanliness, and life.  It's what I'm hereafter.  It's just, often enough, I forget what I am hereafter.  Bleh.  I'm working on it.

Oh, not sure I will dig into the hummus today.  Tomorrow most likely.  So I really do want to do a bit of this and that in the kitchen.  I could, probably, do it as is.  I just don't want to do it as is.  Incentives.  The only thing really perishable is the lemons.  Even the fresh herb won't go bad too quickly, as I bought a whole plant.  Smells loverly by the way.  If I water it, it will last at least a week, more like a month.  So... I have a bit of time, as lemons don't go bad with speed.

That's that for the morning report.  Be well, enjoy your weekend, lay in a little work if have it to you.  Find some durned fool or blessed sufferer to lend a prayer, even if it is yourself though I have better even myself, and be well.  Blessings, ladle, and close your eyes and prepare to shiver... blessings can be a little chilly yet this time of the year.  *smile*

Long hard day.

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As far as cripples go.  I woke around 4:00.  Getting out of bed about five minutes after, though that clock runs an half hour fast, so it was more like 3:30.  Here it is, 22:06, it just ticked.  That's nineteen hours up, plus pushing the day around, and with shopping.  I hit four stores, plus visited with my friend for... a while.  Oh, right, and I burned.  The sun was out.  I haven't seen the sun in a while.  Red Man, have no doubt.

I got most of what I wanted from the store.  I did remember the list, if instead of forgetting that I forgot my phone.  I didn't get everything on the list... just started missing beats and timing out.  I got what I could then returned home.  I have enough to start, and push getting the kitchen together for some culinary tinkering.  No baba, but I can make hummus.  Plus I have meat enough, and fruits, veggies, and onion and garlic plus relatives, which should all run me through half of the month, more if it doesn't go bad.  Yeah...  Quite a day.

I am sore.  I am tired.  I am gritty with dried sweat.  All good.  I told God, this morning, I think, that anything I did was to His glory (a bit of a trick, I consider this to be true whether I warn Him or not!).  I should guess that, give all and all, I offered up a bit of glory.  And, over the next few days, I am probably going to not offer much for glory, save a bit of an apology for not being able to keep at it.  Rest should see me back into shape before too long though.  And, I hope, I can still do a bit.

Good night.

Shopping.

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That is the theory.  A list has actually been made.  I hope, this time, I don't remember it... that is, remember right where it is, which is on the freezer, when I am in town.  Memory does little good if the timing of, and use for, the memory is off.  Some basics, some new stuff.  Egg plant, and for now store bought flour, a few extra special items, to attempt some special dishes, and some simple things, combined for a taste treat that won't break the bank.  Oh, and some meats... just enough to get me through the month.  Fresh beef next month, mind you.  Then I'll put in an order for an hog.  I'd actually like to have the snout, if it comes with the rest of the head, and the hooves too.  Yes, really.  Beef hooves do offer collagen, but they don't offer much flavor.  Pig hocks offer both, a bit.

Beside food, I need charcoal.  I buy the real stuff.  No complaints for those who don't.  Not sure, pound for pound, there is that much of a price difference.  It's just, for me, the notion.  I like real, whole, cowboy charcoal.  As well, cat food and litter matter.  There are a few other things, always.  Sometimes I remember, sometimes not so much.  For example, I would like to search for wok tools.  I don't have, and probably won't get, a wok.  I do, however, have high carbon and cast iron pans.  Those tools work really well in those.  Not a high priority thing, just something I'd like to find and price check, for now.  Amazon is fine, but some things are so terribly made, and you can't tell until you have them in hand.  Often it isn't worth sending it back, as packing costs more.  Then again, you don't want to pay enough for such simple tools that returns are worth the costs.  Bleh.  So... hands and eyes on, for some things.

The goal, actually, is to make a baba ganoush, hummus, and pita bread meal for tomorrow, or Sunday.  I might have to tinker with pieces and parts, store things due to my limits and their need to flavorize through time, and do a final collection on some day soon.  I do love hummus, and baba ganoush is okay though extra special with fresh hummus and pita bread.  Though basting stew beef in the remaining yogurt over night, then brazing(?) in the yogurt and perhaps a bit of stock?  Mixing this and that in the pita... Oh yea.  Lamb would be better, but, for now, lamb isn't in the price range AND store lamb has been far too bitter these last few years.  I just won't take the risk of getting mutton called lamb, especially at that price.  Yeah, there is a major difference.

My friend might or might not do anything today.  No problems.  I understand.  Though, perhaps, after a nap, I might be able to help him get some tools moved and set up.  What are friend for?  Even disagreeable ones.  *grins*  I'm taking in my bino's, for him to look at.  Other than that, just shopping, a bit of business, more shopping, and perhaps helping him gear up for some tinkering.  All good.  I'll kill about forty five minutes, finish making myself dashing in case a dame needs flattered or with whom flirting might please, then off to the races.  Yeah... even if I was married to her, I will still flirt.  No more, no less, it's... just the way of it.  Good afternoon.

Even so.

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Oh, right.  A thought bounced into my lap, biting and scratching while doing so.  Tamed, mostly, for my part.  Here, you hold the bouncing baby thought bomb.  Watch those claws.

A twist in a twist.

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Why things work they way they do sometimes just doesn't make sense.  I wasn't able to stay up as late yesterday, only making it to, perhaps, 16:00.  I kept the alarm at 4:00, though I knew I would wake, uncontrollably, far before that.  I hadn't been able to sleep that long the night before, even going to bed at 18:00.  However, as odd as it seems, I did just that.  The alarm work me.  Surprised me.  It's been a long time since I set the alarm for a time when it would wake me, or could wake me.  I've slept through it several times, and like recently, set it for (usually) after I ended up being awake.  So it actually took a while to realize what that weird sound was.  Very glad I set it.  Now, perhaps from pushing, this way and that, I have been cutting shy on sleep often enough lately that a little or lot in this case of extra sleep was simply, finally, needed.  All good.

I never did get in to work on anything yesterday.  It was an energy issue, though compounded by the dark.  Overcast to shadowlessness, that after a day of decent sun.  I suppose it was a combination in contrast?  Yeah.  While I can get used to dark days, it takes a bit.  Just as really sunny days can stress my system.  One makes function difficult, the other one makes work too easy so as I end up working too hard and going down... or being unable to sleep on top of it I end up in the fog.  No sleep and too much sleep end up being very similar animals, taken to their extremes.

Today I have plans.  I best shower right away, then set up dishes for a soak.  While I have been tending the bigger dirty dishes, I need to get the bits and pieces collected and soaking too.  All good, I'll get that going, then make a very light breakfast.  There ended up being enough leftovers from Wednesday that I didn't need to make another grain gruel.  I'll do that for this morning.  A savory one, even so.  You know, if I had eggs, poaching a couple, then nestling those into the gruel, with a savory mix of spices and herbs, might just do well.  With or without heavy whipping cream... I will have to explore that.  Then I wouldn't need as much gruel itself.

Food has definitely been on my mind.  Three things I would really like to make as a grouping, if meats might well go in on the side, is baba ganoush, hummus, and pita bread... all homemade.  As the potential for getting my kitchen in order, and keeping it that way somehow, seems to approach in mind and in the world, I may be trying to incentivize the notion.  Though, too, something... in me... hungry, but for better foods.  Cooking might be fun, but that it feeds hunger makes it a different, functional, sort of fun.

I placed my amazon order today.  A good, solid (I hope), cutting board... several hanging basket sets (one for fruits, one for vegetables).  I figure I can keep onions, potatoes, lemons and sometimes limes, and various fruits and aromatics more on hand and more in use with them in easy sight.  Plus, the fridge is a terrible place to keep those things.  A few items, after pricing as well as I could and considering value, such as tahini, a reasonably priced larger white bean that can stand up to long cooking, and a few other items.  Yeah...  I ought to make a list today.  One thing I ordered from Amazon broke, so I had them send it back.  I would have had to do that anyway, somehow.

Oh, and today I am getting out.  Shopping for sure, though perhaps a small meal, a bit of a drive about the valley, bird hunting... if with binoculars and maybe camera, and then maybe a visit.  Depends on temps, light, energy level, and such.  Still, the day, even if it is dark, with a bit of company, has much possibility.  I do need to fix a list beforehand.  Cat food, of both kinds.  Milk, cream, and maybe a general visit to the health food stores.  Lemons, onion, a few potatoes, several garlic buds, apples and or several other fruits.  I would like to have some things ready for when the baskets arrive.  A ready kitchen and larder, truly, is a sexy thing.  The belly loves being fed.

Hmm... a bit more tea to wake, a shower, sorting out my wardrobe for the day, a small bite of breakfast gruel, and...  Good morning.  Heh... and it really is morning.

Addendum:  I am going to begin sourcing certain difficult to find foods in a sidebar.  The first few are a collection of general foods, and one specific item will be a link all itself.  Yeah, no... I don't eat these items daily.  However, for a special occasion, once a month, every other month, or more... it is nice to do things traditionally to you or your family, or as it has been done for longer than this nation existed, or just taste something you might only have heard about.  Though food storage is also an large aspect of my food life, so at least one such will be included.

Not a day of fasting.

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Given my goals, fasting is not in the plan.  I want to work, work takes food.  It just does.  Sometimes I have worked without food.  It isn't the best, often it wasn't a choice.  I had to work through to food.  That's a dark place.  While I am out of eggs, have no meat easily at the ready, I do have milk, whole whipping cream, and various grains.  A grueling day?  In one, if the better sense.  Oatmeal this morning, and later a nine-grain, cracked, blend.  Oh, and I have a small portion of food left over from an experiment yesterday.  I used one of the cans of cheese.  I have tried that "raw", and found it quite satisfactory.  Beside being out of much, I have wanted to see how well it works cooked, how well it melts in.  I was satisfied with taste and texture, with some caveats.  It's just not, exactly, like any cheese I have eaten.  It is good, but different, a bit.  Sometimes different is good, sometimes it is bad, and sometimes... to my mind this case... it is neither.  Different, sometimes, is just that.

I think starting out with a shower is my best plan.  Being cool enough to still have snow remaining after several days means a little warmth in the body might help.  As well... past due.  When you retire, you will find that... sometimes... stretching things comes a bit more natural, especially during dog days.  I am currently in dog days, though attempting to work out of them.  So, yes, a shower.  Plus, it will be breaking in my new, clean, bathroom!  Yeah, it's exciting.  More as I have a path to keeping it clean much longer and more robustly.

I was thinking how to sweeten the oats.  Sugar?  No.  The artificial stuff just doesn't work.  Maybe maple syrup?  No, nearly out of that, saving the remnants for something else.  Honey?  Why, yes!  Mountain flower honey, actually.  Just a dab will do, but will do quite well.  This afternoon, for the multigrain gruel, I will probably go savory... a pat of butter, a touch of salt and pepper, perhaps thyme, basil, sage, or... whatever herb, spice, or mix draws me as I approach the meal.  Perhaps a bit of whole whipping cream with it as well, to add protein and a touch extra fat.

This month I really have to watch my spending.  No worries, just, this and that, you know.  I am so looking forward to what I am saving to get.  It is exciting to stock up and well.  Still, I have decided, of the things I want or need, cooking and food related items are taking the top of the list.  A true butcher board, a hanging basket for fruits and veggies, and other such items.  Cooking, I suppose, and perhaps baking, are looking to be back on the menu.  The few things I want and need for the kitchen, plus getting the kitchen back in shape... it's all coming together.

Breakfast is about ready.  A touch of sweet notion spices, have been added, just letting it all rest before digging in.  Well, I was.  Top of the morn to you.  Just remember, if you don't have proteins proper, you can still have a decent meal.  Go get em', and enjoy the work.

Update:  Well worth the minimal effort.  Sure, you have to hover and/or set the alarm for every few minutes between hovering... and it takes a bit... very much worth it.  I ended up making a bit too much.  Intended, though next time a little less too much would be better.  I just avoid making too little.  Worse, oddly, the smaller the amount it is short.  Being so close, or closer, to having hunger tended only to have it fall short... it's perturbing... among other things.  Two teaspoons of honey served a rather large bowl of the stuff quite well.  Quite a splendid little meal.  Still, since I had extra, I wanted to just sample it with maple syrup.  You know what?  Worth the dollars and effort either way.  I will not finish the maple syrup sample, but now I know.

Oh, and the pans and pots, utensils, and such?  I've been keeping up on those.  No, not washed, but rinsed of remnant goobers, set to soak in hot soapy water, and... keeping up as well as I can.  Cheesy and grain foods, if left to set, go bad and ugly very fast.  I've done that, you know.  Not this time.  Later.

Kicking through.

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Yeah, I really see, easily, where I have problems getting my days and nights square.  I can more easily push my waking hours than my sleep time.  I made it to 18:00 this evening.  I tried to push sleep until 4:00, it just would work.  As with last evening, I really only made it to 2:00.  I stayed in bed until 3:00 but was not asleep, I simply finally surrendered.  Sure, eight hours is good.  It just isn't always enough when pushing my days.  When it fails, it can fail through a need of too much sleep, and inability to wake in a timely fashion, or often both.  Oversleeping or underwaking, or both.  As I have mentioned, this has always been a struggle.  I was a night creature from the time my mother brought me home from the hospital.  Drove her to distraction.  She spent much effort, and as much will and strength as she could muster, to try to get me to switch that.  I was on her side.  Some things, however, seem to be baked into a cake and there is no changing.  The health issues simply exaggerate the issue.  No real complaints, it just gives me something to fuss with, I suppose.

I am trying to figure out what to make today, for food.  I have been eating quite well on odds and ends the last few days.  I am out of eggs, however.  Cheese is pretty much done.  I have milk, but nothing much to use it on.  I might have rice.  I don't have much meat, nothing thawed save canned tuna.  I do have lentils, and black beans but those would need a six hour soak, at least.  I am on my last food legs.  Hmm...  I'll have to think of something.  Necessity... mother... invention.  Then again, I might just fast.  I used to have to do that for days, weeks, without choice.  A day certainly won't kill me.  I actually learned to enjoy the hunger, or... did I just convince myself that I enjoyed what simply had to be endured?  Though, finding something in the desert, whether you come to it from plenty or from poverty, it can be just as inspiring.  Though inspiration, often, is best to be minimal or it can become... a bit too rich.  Just your Zen thought for the day?  Hmm...  I suppose, as always, it is up to you.

I am hoping to get back to some work today.  A shower, folding laundry, then tearing into boxes.  I don't know, but that is the hope.  With the bathroom looking so good, I really am hankering to get the kitchen into similar shape.  Then the computer room, living room, and bedroom.  Well, and then have a plumber in to check on some things, maybe fix them, get a quote for work on the floor (when they begin on the floor, that would be a good time to go camping), and maybe get a quote on a new heater and ac unit.  Yeah.  Carrot, stick, neither alone serves.  I need both, and a prayer.  While I have hope, that is not enough alone.

I am, actually, doing well.  When I get my larder meated out, the manual grain mill and the electric one working actually, begin canning and drying at least meats, I'll be a bit happier.  But it is coming together as well as I can make it happen.  I'm just not good at housekeeping.  Just not.  Later.

Oh well, might as well give it a shot... one last post.

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Not much today.  I simply didn't have it going.  I did do some things.  Cooking, a bit of cleaning, this and that.  Still, no where near what I had hoped.  I will be up until, I am thinking, at least 17:00, maybe 18:00.  All probable, if I am thinking likely.  It has stopped snowing, but earlier it looked like there was six inches on the ground.  That might have been an illusion, with grass holding the stuff higher than it really was.  As I said, though, the sidewalk and drive are clear.  It is a pretty last snow memory, so there is that.

My friend called.  He hadn't received my message.  Odd, but I don't always get messages.  Just a bit of talk, and plans.  Today, of course, was out for getting out.  I was thinking tomorrow.  He suggested Friday, as that will be payday.  And, yes, I think that is best.  I spent a bit much, again, this month.  I am really going to have to go shy on spending this coming month.  Buying a whole beef is a bit of an expense.  Just this once, probably.  A hog isn't too difficult, and a lamb might not be to hefty of coin, more so if I can find a non"organic" lamb.  Bleh.  So... I need to watch my coins a bit more closely.  I didn't spend it all.  And what I have purchased was, sort of, planned.  So, no major issue.  The fish and duck will serve for a good long time.  Oddly, even sharing things out and I find myself, even so, in much better stead.  Even if I didn't, it's just how to do things.

I was telling a friend, a girl friend if you must know, about some food ideas I wanted to post.  Both really look good, if for different reasons.  The first is a breakfast that can be made the night before.  Really good for pressing mornings or a bunch of folk.  As for me, I might alter the volume just a bit... or make an extra.  If you have growing boys, as well, or a big boy, well... just plan on extra.  The other is a dessert, one I have been wanting to try at home for a very long time.  Only slightly different.  Both in vid forms, though one requires another vid, and a visit to another blog for more exact directions.  Here you go.

Hashed browns, one way.

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I looked around online, searching the various recipes.  Some wanted egg whites, others suggested this or that.  I was looking for simple.  No flour, no egg whites, not excessive handling or care.  Time wasn't as much of an issue.  While I have flour, it is old.  More, I really don't want to use flour if I don't know how fresh it is.  While it won't go bad in three days, from grinding, as one woman suggested, it will in three months, quicker if handled.  Now, when I say bad, I mean it will become nutrient neutered.  One can still eat it, it's just that anything in it that would make eating it useful, will have leeched out.  My flour, even kept in the freezer, is simply too old.

The simplest idea, and easy enough to try, was quite simple.  Peel potatoes, the standard type if I can't pull the name out from the tip of my tongue.  Grate those, then pat them dry with paper towels.  In my case, as in the example given, it took two bunches of paper towels to remove enough moisture.  Then simply put in a pan on medium high, with a little oil, and let cook for about 15 minutes.  Flip and repeat.  I used clarified butter from the other day.  Now, in my opinion, that was a bit raw still.  However, since I had eggs to fry, and wondering about that from the start, plus wanting the browns to stay warm, I had set the oven to 200F, and used an oven able china plate as the medium for the browns.  In the time it took me to cook the eggs, the browns had finished to my liking.  Still just a bit raw, but perfectly crisped.  I still think, perhaps, parboiling or some such, then grating... maybe even soaking to leach some of the starch?  I'll begin experimenting.  Still, very simply, this worked well enough in a pinch.  Eggs, these, and a few of the remaining slices of bread but toasted and buttered, with tea on the side.  Should have had a glass of milk for a change.  I might just have one in a bit.

Next?  Boxes, I believe.  Then hitting the laundry.  It's all done, it just needs tended.  I really doubt I will get much beyond those.  Not even sure I will get to, or completely through, those.  Though, perhaps.  If so, I will begin in on the kitchen.  I'm getting excited to cook again.

Just a word on ingredients.  I was looking for ingredients, as the chef/cook suggested.  Some beans are not like other beans.  At $25 for a couple of pounds, I do believe I will find other beans.  A bit of research will find beans which hold up better under intense cooking but at a much more reasonable price.  If this were a yearly feast, a tradition, for a family... I could see it.  But not a daily driver.  Further, the sausage suggested was... at the cheapest... $33 for eight, plus double and more for shipping.  No, I think I'll source locally.  Not sure there are any sausage makers anymore, of the craft variety.  I'll take mass manufactured to that.  Something funny?  The French ate what they did because it was all they had, often, at least initially.  Eventually they became snobs about it.  Before that, however, it was just what was available.  As you notice, that dish actually, when you think about it, is a way of taking leftovers that would not serve many on their own and turning them into something better.  Cook with both the spirit, and at times if available for even peasant wallets the original or traditional ingredients, and enjoy.  Don't spend a fortune on a meal.  That is... for the pigs.

It's chilly out there.  The sidewalk and driveway seem to have cleared, unless it has snowed again.  Two, three, days of snowing?  Crazy.  It's pretty.  It's nearing the last of the snow.  I didn't have to shovel.  I just wish there was someone to go out and play in it.  The last snow fort, a snowball fight... do they do those things anymore, or has the tyrannical safety nannies of the world shut down all the fun boys used to have?  Anyway...  On with the show.  Later.

Little twitches, slow to work, but worth the effort.

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I did make it to 16:00 before crashing.  The last hours were like in a prize fight, when one of the opponents is still on his feet but not really at the top floor anymore.  I was bloating with fluid because I couldn't remember to use the facilities.  A third the way through the night, then another third on, I emptied over 32 ounces of fluid.  I didn't know a human bladder could hold that much, or drain that much twice in a row?  Well, then, maybe it can't.  Not absolutely sure I am human, not fully.  Still, waking was easy enough, if I would have liked to have slept until 4:00 perhaps, instead of not quite making it exactly to 2:00.  All good.  Actually I should begin slowing the pace of change.

The bathroom looks fantastic.  I put down a rounded toilet rug and small matching runner rug.  Good only for the toots while sitting, no good as a shower mat... too small.  I will probably change out the shower curtains, wash the recently used in a next general wash, then stow those.  Having things to change out from time to time adds interest and keeps favored items around longer.  Down goes Mona Lisa, up goes the Eiffel Tower.  I suppose, even if their new friends destroy the real one, I'll still have this as a reminder of the West is throwing to the dogs.

I'm thinking of doing just a bit of cooking as I wake.  Boiling eggs, then... what... parboiling potatoes?  Just enough so that they are easy to skin and slice... or shred... then, when they are cool enough, shredding and bagging that.  A serving per sandwich bag, then those bags into a larger gallon bag, all save one on into the freezer.  A LOT cheaper than buying storebought.  Hmm... might fry them up, actually, just a bit, before storing them?  So that they get browned, leaving only a final heating and inside finishing?  I'll be thinking about it as I go.  Might do a bit of looking online, see what others do.

Today?  A shower, folding and storing laundry, then on to boxes.  Well, that's the goal.  I think, probably, these things I can do.  Later.