So very odd.

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I crashed early, and very very hard.  Taking the water pills late, I assumed I would be waking every hour or two.  To the best of my recall, I only woke three, maybe  four times.  I should have been awake eight times, maybe more.  One of those wakes doesn't even count, as it was my normal pre-waking wake up.  I usually wake an half hour to two hours before I actually wake, and begin extricating myself from that world.

Further, I woke so very late.  My pre-wake was about 05:30.  I went to bed at just a small bit of change after 19:00.  I suppose that isn't a terribly long sleep.  It's, just, lately I have been doing seven to eight hour sleeps... it had  become pleasantly regular.  Ugh.  I try my damnedest to sleep and wake as regularly as possible.  It just isn't in my hands, I guess.

A bit achy this morning.  Not exactly sure why.  I have been doing more... not much but a lot more... comparatively.  And, yes, I suppose that can get to me.  Bending to do dishes.  The acrobatics, sometimes, of laundry.  And just the stretching of chores, or slipping.  Slipping, even if you don't fall, can pull muscles.  Things happen which I forget before I am finished with, such as slipping.  I don't even remember, even the next day when I realize my back is out.  Still, more minor aches and pains.  No need or want of painkillers.  I haven't hurt in a while, not seriously.  Or... more... not consciously.  A lot going on in the background.  A lot of pain, always... always pain.  It's all I've got, as I've mentioned.  Plus, there are many in purgatory who could use it.  I don't understand all of Christ, but this?  This I get... to the degree possible.

Dishes should be quick.  but there are a lot more in the wings than I had thought.  I best get going.  The load in, and one more load today, plus maybe a last load set up for tomorrow?  Laundry... I would like to get most of it upstairs and begin sorting.  Trash and recycling, probably a first thing... so as I am doing else, if anything else pops, it can go out too.  And counters... second... so dishes can go forward.

I did thaw some meat.  Bratwursts last night.  A beef roast, for stew.  Hmm, I need veggies, which I can't get until Monday at the earliest.  Mushrooms, cabbage, the stew mix... carrots, onions, and celery... rutabaga, potato, turnips, and other root veggies.  I'd like to make a day pot of just root veggies.  Higher in carbs, but can be offset with extra fats... cheese, whipping cream, sour cream, butter... just a dab of each for a full bodied filling warming energy rich thing.  Oh yeah.  Still, I probably should pull other meat out.  Some ground turkey, pork, and beef, for more crumble.  That stuff is awesome.  Warmed, topped on greens of many types, spiced, and with fat so no need for official dressings.  Yum.

I... best get to things.  Then again, I have to wait for dawn for chores, and don't want to burn much energy until then.  I'll be curious to see if the rabbits emptied their waterers, or if they just froze.  Ugh... forgot to put the ducks in!  That... always worries me.  It is a dangerous world out there.  And a cold one.  And I do care for my peculiar feathered and furry friends.  Not quite like children, but of concern and personal interest.  Friends of a sort, family of another sort.  They aren't just dead things.  There is even a love involved.  A right one, albeit.  One God tried to imbue upon us, so we don't become thick-necked bastards.  I'm already running pretty close to that line as is.  Still, I... try.

Good morning and day.  Blessings and may you find the yoke of efforts a joy, grace, gift.  Amen.

A long shorter day.

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I am about to crash well before I went to bed the last few days.  Dropping like a rock, too, not just going to bed in a timely fashion.  Crashing.  Okay.  No worries.  Just... noting.

I am leaving the waterers out with the rabbits.  It has been well above freezing all day.  So I will just let them drink all night.  I have enough extra, if smaller, waterers so that I can refresh tomorrow.  And they are ready to go.  I will simply exchange waterers, and reset the ones I am pulling as soon as they are thawed.

A few minor things more today.  I can't... remember what.  Just... some things.  The cast iron skillet is so well done it has a minor mirror effect!  A shadow mirror, but it's... in there.

Dishes, a shower, and trash tomorrow... aside from chores.  So very tired though.  Good night.

Oh, a quick starting tip.

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In my efforts, I found my cast iron pan had gotten rusty.  I had let it soak, but emptied it.  Mostly.  Rust was only in the inside of the pan, and mostly just on one side.  Anyway, I went looking for methods.  Youtube can be very dubious.  Still, it is easy.  And, I found a piece of advice.  It looked too good to be true.  And, you know what they say, if it's too good to be true, it probably isn't true.

Still, it would be easy to check.  Fast and easy.  And I have all the products needed on hand.  All?  How about both.  Paper towels aren't required, but, okay, three things.  Baking soda, paper towels, and vinegar.  Well, a very little elbow grease.  The deal was to make a minor slurry of baking soda and water.  Then, scrub the heck out of the rusty areas.  Well, not much was really needed.  But, yea.  Then, rinse with the vinegar.  Let it fizz and work, rubbing while doing that as well.

Dry throat cure.

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Well, until it becomes dry again.

Kefir.  With trying to balance the water pills and liquid intake, again, as a start, my throat has been dry as dirt in the morning.  Kefir, that probiotic milk product I make at home on my counter?  Cuts right through it.  Two cups is better.  I have asked to change from two quarts of heavy raw cream and a gallon of whole raw milk to the obverse, so as to make more kefir.  Almost all of the milk will become kefir.  And, yea, I can drink two gallons of the stuff a week fairly easily.  Though I would like to try making cream cheese as well, once or twice a month... or at least out of curiosity.

Kefir is slightly acidic.  Think lemons or limes, only milk based.  It cleans the throat, even if it has coated with dust or just a handful of dry.  I added about two teaspoons of blueberries to one, nothing to the other, it works either way.  Now, I didn't add sweetener.  I just went plain.  Sometimes I can do that, sometimes not so much.  Mood?  Or variances in the berries?  it makes for a wonderful breakfast... if you have the brass to tackle that bareboned, in your face, tart.  I do, sometimes, did this morning.

It's about time to try to push through.  Dishes have been being hit, laundry is mostly done, trash and recycling have to go out... and I think this week is recycling week... it's every other week.  As well, perhaps some efforts out with the rabbit cages.  The birds are good, for now.  If, in time, I would like to get to the other outhouses.  I may, actually, move some of the rabbits out there.  I can still create a split-screen, which would allow enough room for two does with kits, per container.  I... think.  Which means I have four cages out there, for breeding boxes.  And, I should move a line of smaller cages out there, for the bucks.  They don't need much room, but vastly want their own spaces.  So... yeah...  Though I need more waterers.  I shopped them last month, near the first, but they didn't have anything on hand.  Bleh.  Maybe this month.

The girls have been treated, rabbit food and water are ready... just waiting on dawn and a bit more.  Then, perhaps, after a rest from that, I will hit the dishes, get in a trim, and then shower before resetting the dishes.  I think they will just need a rinse, if too I need to clean counters so they have a place to finish drying after a bit of initial hand drying.  Ugh.  Then, later in the day, trash.

Morning?

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Well, actually, yes and... yes.  I went to bed a bit after 22:00, needing to be awake for a visit, then a late... snack.  Someone is going to use my router, and various bits, for the first time.  Teh cherry, she will be broken.  I don't get to watch, but I may end up seeing the end product.  All good.  Something about a borken cutting board, some sort of creative channel development using the tool, then an epoxy type river as a fix.  I love it when creativity is combined with the mechanical.  Really, that is working or living art... my preferred art.

I woke just around five, probably just a bit before, if I got up rather quickly this morning.  Sassy was up twice last night, that I know.  Perhaps she was up more.  Or not.  I don't think I slept any harder than usual.  And, usually, I notice.  Especially with the new automatic on/off nightlights.  Oddly, I think those are what keep Sam away?  She is such a strange girl.

First thing, I reset the waterers, and have them near a furnace output to warm.  I'm telling you, the bunnies absolutely love their warm water.  They all but thank me for that.  As they will enjoy cool water in the summer.  Plus ice bottles.  One in the morning, one in the afternoon.  With a pool, or maybe two, the ducks will do well and remain cool as needed.  It's myself, actually, which as me worried.  With the shade over the house gone, this is going to be an oven... two or even three ac's or not.  I may have to get another ac, for the kitchen, a big one, and fans.  It's... gonna cost both upfront and in electricity.  I have no choice.

Oh, because a visitor was arriving, I... pushed through, got the dishes all one shot, so I could take a shower.  I'll reset them today.  Trash and recycling are still top of the list.  The counters and meat thawed, then finishing dishes so I can get another shower tomorrow.  Two shower in three days, perhaps three in five if I can get one tomorrow.  Loverly.  A call about a lawyer today.  Dubious, but it's what I have.  So tired, sore, but... want to work.

Oh, next time I have a visitor, may figure out a way to put up a hammock, outdoors, and a tarp over it.  So as to practice winter camping.  Practice close enough to home so that if I bungle, I can go in.  I think it can be done warmly, and yet lightly enough packed, or easily enough packed, so as to be functional for a day or two out?  It's a working theory, it will have to be tested.  Remember, it was that dream that brought me out here.  I... may be running late, running out of time, perhaps dying too fast now.  But, until I am dead, I will continue to plot that.  And, if I ever start, and can do it reasonably?  I will never stop... until I die.  Heck, it may be a part of how I... let everything go and just move on.  I may have no choice.  Later.

The last of the stew.

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It was truly excellent.  I had to cut the last pieces of beef.  That really tastes much better.  I like the idea of larger pieces of beef, but it doesn't work with soup.  A neighbor is planning on doing pulled pork, I believe with a chuck roast... bigger... big family.  That might be the way to go.  I am sure if I can get a pork butt to pulling doneness, I can do a beef chuck roast... even a small one.  Oh... I think he said the meat was supposed to be cooked to 201... or 221?  I'll look, but it's an internal temperature thing.

I hated watching the last of it go.  It was as good of a beef stew as I have ever made.  It was nearly as good as I have ever had.  A bit more work on thickening.  But flavor, vegetable to meat portions, and sizes (once I cut the meat down), background and main spices, all good.  I did have to add salt, but that is how I prefer it.  Oh, and adding various veggies and fats on any given serving or day was a super thing.  I will always cook the meat and gravy, along with mirepoix, then just having mushrooms, veggies, and fats to add per pot is the absolute best way to go.  Oh, and not heating the whole pot, just enough to eat, so the food isn't cooked absolutely to death.

It's strange out there.  The thermometer reads, or read, a bit lower than freezing... 30 F.  But it was melting out there.  A strange way of things.  Too slick to chase the rabbit.  But it is going into the cage to feed.  I may figure out a tripwire.  I won't hinge it on entrance, by on feeding.  So the rabbit will be fully and further into the cage.  I have an idea about how to close off the hole in the main cage, so I can transfer rabbits without escapes as well.  Not today, but... soon?  Ugh.

It's a good day.  I do have aches and pains.  Relatively mild ones.  It is mostly that I am tired, worn, exhausted.  I'd like to hit dishes, and maybe put some laundry together and take it upstairs... and do a bit of cleaning, getting trash and recycling out... to clear counters, prep for dishes, and get more meat thawing.  Pork, a roast again I think, to be cooked to pulled pork portions... some for soup, some for this, some for that.  I may need a nap before long though too.

Later.

A very good sleep.

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Warm, almost too warm.  Had to open up the blankets, kick my feet out, both, and more once in a while.  Mostly as I started the waking trajectory.  Sassy sleeps with me, pretty much, every night.  I wake through the night and itch her back, shoulders, and else for just a bit, then go on back to sleep.  Sam doesn't visit anymore.  Not sure... what that is all about.  Then again, Sam has me to herself, mostly, downstairs.  Do cats make deals?  Sure seem to have.

Some aches.  I have been slightly more active.  But very mild aches.  I may take anacin, as I have only had one actual dose, for all my chatter on the topic, in the last week, perhaps two weeks.  When I say "I'm gonna", "I will", "I should", even sometimes "I have"?  Well, it's not always so much how it ends up.  Or was.  Still, I don't mind once or twice a week.

I made a small pot of soup last night.  Turned out fantastic.  I don't know how that is possible, but I'll take it.  Some things get better with time, this was one of those things.  I have just enough for one last batch of soup today, and I am going to enjoy it.  Laundry, the last load, is getting a warming fluff first thing.  I'll hit the dishes, pull them so as to shower... trim my whiskers first, then reset the dishes after I finish.  Trash and recycling are the major domestics for today.

If I can get out, today or tomorrow, perhaps a very small little bit of shopping.  More veggies for more stews.  I think a pork stew would be good.  And, so, pork hocks, chicken feet, honeycomb tripe, and maybe various meat bones too?  Oh, and I really need to begin making more bone stock.  This time I'd like to make chicken and beef.  I really don't want to make pork broth.  I'll tell you, if you want a cup of good, a cup of that... chicken, beef, even pork, you will get what you desire.  

And, as for soups and stews, you honestly can't beat this stuff.  Does it heal gut leak?  Shut up with that metro soy shit.  It just returns things your body burns through and very little of the modern diet replaces.  And there is a taste, once you get trained to?  Your body knows what is good for it, when you quit sugar and else.  It knows this stuff is golden.  Curative?  You were born dying, get used to it.  It's a one-way street.  But you... don't have to cooperate with it.  Neither full on hedonisms, nor pure austerity, will save you.  This isn't a mix, and it won't save you either.  It will just allow you to live a little more... of a reasoned little life.

Yes, I opened it back up.  Why?  Because.  I said so?  I did so.  Oh well.  Though I don't if any will return, so...  no problem.  Later.

Bits. Pieces.

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The waterers are still flowing.  And they are drinking.  Last I checked, it was about 20 F out there, a bit cooler today.  It's been a few hours though... three?  While out there, I thought to try to get the rabbits which are out.  No dice.  Too slick.  Recent snow, meltyish weather, etc.  So?  So I put food in an open cage, adding a waterer.  There is some hope that the comforts of home will snare one or both.  Though, to be honest, I am only seeing one rabbit.  At least it is the one I want.

I watered the ducks, a bit, after filling the five gallon bucket.  I use that to water the cats, and refill the waterers later, so usually get two of those.  As mentioned, house water is softened, so not the best for drinking.  I have reverse osmosis for myself, but the flow is too low for the girls and myself.  I feel better about having them drink fresh water, unsoftened.

Oh, both girls got my flu/cold/china flu.  Both of them were sneezing.  Both of them got over it a few days after I did.  Though Sassy has started sneezing again, if much more lightly.  Part of the reason I believe it was china flu, not just the flu.  I have never passed illness to the girls before.  Or any other pet I can remember.  WMD indeed.

Dishes are still sitting, but they many of them are soaking.  I haven't messed with laundry, or anything else.  I am hoping to do more.  It is a good day.  Rested, if a bit slow and tired... just not the worst.  No real aches or pains.  I am hoping to get a second wind, and really dig in a bit this afternoon.  I'd love to get the counters cleared... as much for dishes later, cooking, and getting meat out of the freezer, as well as tending laundry, and maybe some work upstairs in my sleeping area.  A slow policing, cleaning, etc.  The vacuum needs to go up, a clean mattress needs to be brought out, and eventually the carpet cleaner needs to go up... steam vac type.  Ugh.

I think with the old mattress... it is still good, just needs airing out... I'll figure out some place to let it air out, then put it to doing so, then put it back in the bag the new one came from.  And, then, just cycle them until I really do need a new mattress.  I am also looking at alternatives for the base mattress I am using.  Yep, two levels.  In part because I weigh so much.  What a hundred pound man can sleep comfortably upon, I need three times as much padding.  I'm not that much taller or generally bigger... body footprint size.  But that body footprint is much denser.  I am thinking of an air mattress... used for camping, but thicker, with a better r value (in part as prep for actual winter camping?).  Theories.  Though, if I lose my home, it wouldn't be bad to have some thing else to... help with life.

Anyway... enough for now.  Oh, I have seen a few vids, on how to make even cream cheese?  It seems simple, but is it?  As well, keto and other notions on food which cause me to consider, or reconsider, some things.  I'll share them before long.  Good day.

A bit, and more yet.

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Cleaning the sinks out, in the kitchen, was a task that was done because it was... a nexus task.  Things next to it, in it, on it, and around it, couldn't be done until it was done.  Yea, it was bad.  It looks good, but, if I can keep going and clean around it more fully, it will get a scalding cleaning.  Still, it is done, and it is better.  Trash is the next primary task, if dishes and laundry have been set in play.  Laundry may be done?  I'll check.  But dishes?  If I can push through what is soaking, and hit the last, probably, ten pieces yet to be soaked?  I could get that done, probably, by tomorrow.

With the trash will go recycling.  Which will open up for counter cleaning.  Then I can do counters and the stove top.  I really need to hit the oven sometime.  Yea, it's bad.  Bit by bit, I am moving a bit faster.

The rabbits and ducks were tended a bit late, but not too terribly late.  And, this time, I will be checking their water every few hours.  I am quite worried about them not drinking.  Though, sometimes... they just don't drink, or eat, much.  Why?  Got me.  I've seen it just in my short custodial efforts.  It does cause concern.  As well, I am hoping to figure out the rabbits which are out.  Their food keeps disappearing, so I am hopeful they are still around.  I rarely lay eyes on them, but then again, I don't mess with the tarp under which they would mostly likely be hiding.  I don't want to disturb them until I can go for them.

Today, it is hoped, I will block the escape path, then capture one or both.  Putting two bucks in the remaining cages, or figuring something else out.  Perhaps putting them all out in the other outbuilding and doing any repairs required.  I am hoping it will be minor repairs.  I have extra caging from which to gather materials.  Tin snips will do for the taking, and bailing wire for connecting... if I do have a few other materials as well.

I can't seem to stay away from the kefir.  Perhaps six to eight ounces, every other day, but that still takes it down pretty fast.  Especially if I have two on a particular day.  I have tried it with the frozen berries plain, and with a touch of liquid keto sweetener.  I must admit, with berries?  I prefer just a wee of sweetener.  If plain, I like it just plain.  That tease of sweetness, with the berries, then failure... is too much.  Though, sometimes, I will do it that way too.

As well, I had malt o'meal today.  With just, say, four strawberries?  That offered all the flavor necessary.  I usually sweeten that with the granular sugar replacement and a few drops of the liquid I use.  Oh, that truly is tops.  I keep meaning to add butter, salt, pepper, and other savory items... even peperoni, perhaps diced or sliced or else.  Sausage, burger, or pulled pork or chicken?  It takes me a year or two to go through a box, so I just don't worry.  It is a very filling, warming, breakfast.

Well, I best get going.  Looks like I might have daytime back.  Who knows.  It's a bit tough, but not even close to brutal.  Good morning, afternoon for some of you, day, and maybe even night for a few of you... literally or virtually.  Later.

Up and at it.

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I can't be sure when I went to bed.  It was pretty much immediately after the last post, which is showing a 19:00 posting time.  I don't know if that is correct.  They move everything, depending on which servers they are using for me to post.  If it's an Australian, or some other, then the time stamp is a little to a lot off?  I know I can't always see videos because my connection is through a foreign nation, one which the US doesn't allow videos to be seen through on copy rights grounds.  The internet is screwed, to be honest.

Pee bottles drained.  I could only get two of the three from yesterday, down and cleaned.  So tired.  Today I got the one from last night and the one from yesterday down and scrubbed.  Oh yes, I keep those clean enough to literally eat out of... if I'd do more testing before actually even thinking of that.  Still, the notion stands... if only, hopefully, ever, in theory.

It was 03:00 as I started writing.  Probably wasn't up a whole lot before that.  I gave the girls treats this morning.  From the stash.  I have a small container of treats for later, as well, kept on my person.  Think about having to hide animal treats!  I could see, maybe, the girls getting into the treats, somehow.  Perhaps there is enough air, that they can stop the bag and that might open the seal.  But resealing it?  Even if they could, they would have zero interest in doing such a thing.  As they say, at that point... the cat would be out of the bag.  No, this is human intervention... and not mine... assuming I am human... which I don't.  But I DO have apposable thumbs!  Makes it at least in the comparative ballpark.

I am hoping to get the runaway(s) today.  And change their cage(s).  I need to find something to make it so the remaining rabbits won't bolt that hole, too.  I may put them out in the shed, so I can flip and fix this cage.  And check the other cages in the line unit.  I think I can, I think I can.  As well, phone calls, more dishes, the stove top and trash, and checking the last of the laundry.  Not sure I have enough wool items for a final load, or if that will have to wait.  Ugh...

Oh, and soup again today.  Actually, stew.  I will add thickener.  And?  Right, I will be using a thick steel pot, not the cast dutch oven.  The cast is good for the initial making, so as to have it all in one big pot.  But it doesn't do well for heating back up the stuff.  Steel pots are perfect.  I am curious about aluminum, but also dubious.  Aluminum is poisonous.  I just... I'm not sure.  Their are cultures which swear by them.  But if you look at those cultures, both their methods and means are highly dubious.  When all your people are tiny, and slightly retarded?  I... don't think emulation is... the best idea.

As to soups and stews?  We have been there before, and it looks like we are going back.  I can't afford, often, whole cuts of meat.  I can only imagine families in which one or both parents... assuming there are two... are out of work.  I have no idea how well people were getting by even before that.  The world had already gone downhill by a lot.  Even for me.  Before they stole ssd, for the illegals, the difference between interest earned and real inflation on food, gas, and else, made life smaller and smaller.  Middle class is what I was.  And that left almost no breathing room.  Now?  Now I just keep in toilet paper, food, and animal supplies.  There isn't... much left over.

Yea, I don't know how people are doing it.  Even one family of several I know, with two parents, jobs around and among some of the older children, it's... tight.  People are just holding on, and living.  Hoping nothing else crashes.  But... it has to crash.  An economy can't run on nothing.  It won't run on nothing.  Everything you are seeing with the economy is based on a future that doesn't look likely.  We'll see, but it... could get ugly, fast.  Will, probably.

I didn't think I was going to make it.

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Shortly after posting, I began to wonder.  As a fish on a bank, I was gasping.  Not for air, for consciousness.  The meal might have done it, but I think I was crashing before the meal.  Many nods later, I am still awake.  I took care of chores, shut that all down.  Oh, but I need to feed the girls.  And take their treats upstairs with me.  Someone is definitely getting into my home.  One of the things they do is give the girls many treats.

I have noticed that for some time.  I assume whoever is entering, is a bit dimwitted.  They don't realize cat treats should be just that, a few bits perhaps twice a day.  It is like candy bars to us.  And they have no means of remembering how much they hand out.  The bag was half full last time I treated the girls a few days ago.  Sleep has been off, so I miss some things (and don't mind, for this).  Today, when I went to get some out, it was less than a fifth remaining.

I only specifically noticed, because I was becoming suspicious that was happening, so started watching it more carefully.  Of course, right as soon as I stopped watching, it would happen again... until this time.  This time I was paying very close attention when the loss occurred.  I don't know what all they are doing.  Just... looking for things to steal?  Goofing with my playstation or computer?  I just can't be sure.  But there is someone breaking and entering while I sleep.  I will hide the treats well, from now on.  If that fails, I will stop having treats.  They are rather expensive, especially with someone using a bag a week, or more... a bag which should last a month.

Time for bed.  I did put the last load in the dryer, set up some dishes, reset Sam's hideyway, plus had food and a shower.  Another shower tomorrow, if I can work my way through... and a phone call.  Plus, perhaps, some practice with new software required soon... for business.  So very tired.  I will sleep well.  Hopefully not waking early from sleeping so hard?  Or from the shifting schedule?  Ugh.  Good evening and night.

Ah, finally.

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Not a lot.  But a second load of laundry in, after a shower.  Oh, and a spot of dishes going.  I cooked spaghetti and meat sauce earlier, and it will be my meal for the day.  Absolutely not keto.  Absolutely necessary once in a while.  Tomorrow stew, the day after taco salad, then I have to begin fresh with something else.  I'm thinking pulled pork, again, some of which will be used for stew, some for other things.

Which means I best get another pot or two of beef stock thawing.  And... I should begin planning my next stock production.  Though, this time, I'd like to make both beef and chicken.  Not together, mind you.  Though I will be adding pork hocks, potentially to both.  Those really add the gelatin and a few other things.  As well as chicken feet, if I can find them reasonably, if just for the chicken stock.  I might even add tripe, at least to the beef.  If with intentions of eating that, after it is cooked well enough for my liking.

I looked for alternatives to hominy.  Chickpeas, I was told.  Well, okay, that might make a perfectly fine replacement... in a non-keto diet.  But it has more carbs per cup than the hominy, which is pretty heady that way as is.  So... I'll keep looking.  But everything else can go in, for menudo.  A hot fat-meat based soup, with pork hocks, usually menudo, and some other stuff, often topped with a bit of onion and cheese, and can be made mild to stratospherically hot.  I like it medium, if my medium might make you pass out.  I just used scotch bonnet in my spaghetti sauce and can barely taste it, with chipotle as a backer.

It looks like I'll be waiting until the evening, after final chores, to go on to bed.  No nap.  I should go check the waterers.  It reads about 20 F out there, so below freezing but not terribly.  Still, I want them to drink.  Especially after the disastrous day for drinking yesterday.  A good number of good days before that, but...  One really bad day, and hard weather?  I don't want them dying.  I don't even want them stressed.  It's just, there are limits to what I can do.

Later.

Doing fairly well.

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I can't remember when I woke.  Sleep was good.  Waking was good.  A few aches and pains.  I did take aspirin... anacin... today.  Then again, all those recent times I suggested I would take it?  Never happened.  Couldn't find them.  Found them!  Actually, tylenol (generic) works okay, often.  But, with heart issues, I won't use it as my primary.  It seems to work on what anacin works on... same sorts of pains.  Ibuprofen works on different pains and aches.  I haven't actually quite identified which is which yet.  In time, maybe.

The rabbits were fed and watered, ducks released.  I looked over the cage, with the missing bunnies.  It... has a hole in it too.  *sigh*.  Underneath.  The other two males are quite happy to stay inside.  I'll have to find a cage that isn't a problem, until I can fix that one.  Ugh.  Though, how to get the remaining rabbits out without them bolting down out the hole in the floor?  I'm sure I could use something to block that?  I'll... look around and look it over.

Laundry started.  A shower shortly.  Maybe a nap first or after?

So strange, having only one visitor... I think?  Six views today, three yesterday.  Pretty much what I thought was real.  Maybe a bit high.  Though... there... were other readers.  I just never could tell how many real readers.  Some indication people from as far as Salt Lake City read here, medical too, and some locals.  But the real numbers always eluded me.  Some, many, were hidden... not showing up, yet knowing things only written here.  I just... It was strange.  This is definitely quieter of mind.  I think some still have... access... somehow.  But it's not the same.

The water pills are acting strangely.  They won't work, won't work, won't work, then last night I dropped seven liters while trying to sleep, two liters right before, and several shortly after.  My ankles were swelling, now look slim... normal.  I might have to take two, I have been trying just one, but that... isn't working.  Thirsty as a devil, for sure.  Which means I will drink too much, then need to take more water pill... I'll... try two.  For now.

Sleep cycles are slipping.

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I can't remember when I went to bed, or woke, for the last few days.  Only, I know any semblance of pattern is lost.  Down three hours, up five or fifteen, then down sixteen, up eight.  No control, at the moment.  I have a few goals that I am, roughly, keeping... so far.  I am doing chores early, between eight and ten, say... and I am getting the ducks in and pulling waterers between 18:30 and 21:30... depending on when I am awake, and then when I am able.  It's... something.

As well, I am eating a bit better.  Stew, or taco salad, or a bowl of fruit or porridge.  I'll bet a bit of frozen fruit would go good in that.  It's not keto, but with a bit of whole whipping cream, or butter salt and pepper, and small enough portions *cough*, it will do once a week.  So warming and filling.  I need more lettuce.  And a few other things.  Not sure I have the money to shop, so... I'll make a list.  Crumble and soup makings carries me easily through a week.

I have decided I much prefer chicken stew to whole pieces of chicken.  I prefer whole beef, but that gets eaten too fast.  I'm a poor boy now.  I can't afford a third of even a small roast as a meal these days.  But, cut into small pieces, a roast which will last nearly five or six meals?  I can do that.  Still a small roast.  It's not down to nickels and dimes, it's down to pennies.

Oh, and I much prefer stew to soup.  From now on, I will add the thickener.  Now, I know how to use guar gum, very effectively.  I would next like to learn to use psyllum husk... ground and whole... mostly to see which one I think is best, and in which of the various things I wish thickened.  Something about clarity, but that isn't an issue for me.  I just want the easiest to produce, most consistent, the most unblemished, thickening agent possible.  I don't care if it's a bit cloudy.  I want no additional flavor, the best consistency... not jelly but not water... right in the middle?  Something like that.  Then, if all else equals, go by price and availability.

The local health food store has gone mask only, so I won't shop there.  Too bad, they had my favorites in several spices and vitamins.  If they merely discouraged without masks, that would be one thing.  But, no.  So be it.  I generally like to shop, mostly, online.  But sometimes I have to see what I am getting, and I won't do masks.  That's just the way of it.  Though, I think even that may be over.  We will see, but, yeah.

Another dream, but yesterday, not tonight.  I simply wasn't sure I wanted to share.  This time it was an older woman, who got away.  Oh, she has had a crush on me almost as long as I have had a crush on her.  I was a little boy the first time I met her, she fully grown, middle aged.  We... liked each other then.  I liked her more.  As I matured, she has... come to like me at least as much as I have ever... liked her.  Took her breath a time or two.  And more.  I am good at spotting... opportunities.

Nothing has come of it.  But I will always... she will always come to mind, from time to time.  Some women just get to me.  Even if we never... we sure thought about it.  We will until we die.  I love both loving her, and not having done anything about it.  It makes her a special kind of friend.  Unrequited?  I would say... even more... mutual unrequited and even a bit beyond.  Our minds have touched.  Souls?

Well, it's 02:48... after setting up the waterers, emptying the pee jars... two out of three.  I have been taking the water pill... oddly because of sleep.  It hasn't been working.  I added compression socks a few days ago.  Nothing.  Finally, tonight, seven liters while mostly sleeping, and probably another two before bed.  It all just dropped.  Now I am thirsty as a devil.  See, this is what happens, and why I end up needing three.  It all drops, I get so thirsty I drink three gallons, then the pills won't work on that, and on it goes until I achieve some balance.  Three water pills and about two to three gallons of fluids a day is usually about where it settles out.  Very tricky.

I best turn the furnace up. so the water is warm.  I slept all during the day "yesterday", only waking to put the ducks in and pull the waterers... which were frozen solid.  Little had been supped.  They had not been warmed, and I think it got a bit cooler out there.  So... this time I want to make sure the water is warm.  The little runaway rabbit is still out there.  I leave food for him, and... he knows.  I will try to catch him today.  Good morning, day, night... whatever.

A start, mostly.

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The chores have been done.  Nothing else.  I still have a rabbit to catch, not sure it is possible.  This one is tricky, fast, and there is a bit too much snow to run at any speed, for various reasons.  I can't remember if he got out last time too, or not.  Either way, this one is the most wily of the ones I have hunted.  I really need to get them separated, get the does breed, and sort a few other things out.  They are getting to old to be together.  Four culls, for the freezer or stew pot would be good.  Is that enough?  Oh, yes, if I get that other cage network arranged and in.

I am going to have to figure out how to get going.  It's a dark day, so far.  But it's a pleasant one?  By looks, for some odd reason, to me, it is.  It seems colder though, in spite of being in the mid 20's.  No, that is usually quite nice, as I see things, in the winter.  Not warm enough to melt things, which makes it wet and somehow colder... not in the teens or less, which really has started to seem cold more often as I age.  Perhaps it is just me.  I have had two dishes of soup, that should have helped with that.  Oh well.

The hamburger in the stew wasn't a bad choice.  It's not as good as beef chunks, but it will do.  I think I'll have a taco salad shortly, as a final meal.  I have enjoyed the apple sauce with frozen fruit, and kefir with fruit.  All out of the apple sauce.  I hadn't had it in a while, so it went particularly fast.  I am turning kefir as I speak.  The first half gallon had set well enough, so I strained it into a fresh half gallon jar.  Then reset that one, if adding milk to both.

I was wrong about the kefir.  It doesn't take away, it adds to the volume.  I should have known that.  It is reductive, excluding itself.  But itself, kefir grains become rather large.  I am leaving both out for a few more days.  I may just skip a week of consumption, so that I always have extra extra, not just living on the lean.  Once started, a gallon of kefir a week isn't out of reach.  I had thought about getting an extra gallon of milk for this process, but that... can really begin pushing my ability to juggle.  And I lose track.  Once you get a taste for kefir, or yogurt, especially plain?  You almost can't get enough.  The trick is affording it or juggling production.

Yea, I'll stay up a while longer.  I am hoping to go after the rabbit escapee, and to call about a lawyer.  Ugh, but time flies.  Oh, and perhaps pass an email along to another, who will be helping.  Not a lot else I can do.  Though, I really would like to try to grab the day.  If so, perhaps do work in it... start the laundry, shower, trim.  I can't do trash, today, but I will get it out this week... perhaps tomorrow.  I'll do what I can do.

No reason to write "later" anymore.  Though I am not sure there ever was a reason.  Still, it's habit.  Later. 

Still rather tired.

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Exhausted, just not quite spent?  Yea.  Like the aches and pains, it is a more minor thing.  Still, it has been handicapping me.  I am still hoping to get trash out then to the curb, recycling at least wrangled to a bag and that out, a load of laundry going, and a trim and shower.  I have had soup.  Tried the meat crumble in it.  So-so.  Nothing fancy but it does add a little meatiness to it, so not completely useless.

It is quiet, here.  I think there may have been more readers than I thought.  Still, so many... weren't... right for here.  Some were dangerous.  Not to my flesh, to other things.  People who would harm, if they could.  And, sometimes, they did.  I don't need your belief.  I know these things.  Some things are gone or damaged for good.  Had to cut the ties.  Plus, I think music was being banned because of my usage.  I do.  If that continues?  More changes.

Yes, quiet.  I really did have more viewers than I thought.

Oh, and now I can write about things I was becoming... hesitant to write about.  The game I am playing offered a few variations regarding some things I will discuss, here, when I can be awake and able enough to do.  So very tired, this whole fall to winter.  It's been a tough year.  I keep trying to dig out, but there is no shovel which works, and so little energy to use if should I find it.  Even gaming isn't doing much.

On the good side, I do, generally, run mostly whole days, most of the time.  Sleep can become excessive or diminutive, as can waking periods.  But, for the greatest part, I have a day and a night and they roughly run days or nights, if with fairly frequent flips.  Days turn into virtual nights, as I sleep them.  Then, slowly or sometimes very fast, nights become literal nights again... I sleep when it is dark.  

Having so dark of days doesn't help.  Did have some son today.  Wish I could have stayed up, and gone out in it for a bit.  I don't think, at the current angle, the sun helps all that much.  But it is very good for morale.  And, who knows, perhaps there is just a bit of something in it.  I wonder if Texas is far enough down, to get some sun benefit?  Iowa?  The only three states I have people in are here and those, and I know Iowa gets less even when it shines, due to wind?  Something.

I would love to push on to work, so that I can get a nap before sunup.  I've been doing well, lately, of somehow getting the critters fed between eight and ten in the early.  And I love doing that, for they drink healthily, if it cuts their food consumption?  It... could make sense, if common sense isn't always right.  Then again, science seems to be more fraud and wrong than correct by far.  I think I'd take common sense over the cult of academic lies and fame on almost any given day.

Later.

Awake, finally.

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I didn't set the alarm, or alarms.  I knew it wouldn't matter.  I actually did wake, about the time I would have set the alarm.  Had to pee.  Couldn't do much beyond that.  Realized how frustrating that was.  Didn't matter, went back to sleep.  Though I did finally wake just now at about 21:30.  The reason I wanted to wake was definitely to put the ducks up and secondarily to bring the rabbit waterers in.  Done and done, first thing.  I even left more food out for the rabbit out of his cage.

I feel like rot.  But mild rot.  A third of things which can hurt or ache do so, but in very mild forms.  Why should my right arm bicep hurt?  I have soup going.  Just leftover from what was made earlier.  A fresh pot of tea has been set.  A shower is anticipated.  I don't know how much I can do, but will try to do a bit more today.

I have decided to try to hit my sleeping area.  Picking things up, changing the smaller mattress, doing bedding, vacuuming, and maybe some spot cleaning from having cats.  Bleh.  The goal is to get my bedroom back into play as a clean, comfortable of body and mind, and safe place.  But, just... over the week.  Nothing fancy, no very hard work, just... bits and pieces, here and there, until it... seems enough.

I dreamed a couple of odd little ditties.  The last was of a creature, like a ferret, popping it's head up at the foot of my bed.  It did so a few times.  I had no fear, or... just thought it was cute.  Even after realizing I have no such creature as a pet.  A wild ferret?  Weasel?  I just thought it was cute.  Then realized, beyond being pitch dark, even if there was light I couldn't have seen any such thing as I hadn't lifted my head.  Well, and I wear a cap, when sleeping during the day, I can pull over my eyes.  It was still pulled over my eyes.  I still didn't care, I kept "looking", hoping to see it again.  *grins*  Hey, get a dream... even a little one,... which you enjoy, go with it.

The first dream, actually, was of a girl I knew.  I was, probably 18?  She was 12 to maybe 14.  It was before I went into the Navy.  A dream, but of a real event, and absolutely how it happened to within my memory.  Anyway, we were alone, talking.  She was telling me about having been molested.  I asked her some questions about it.  Then she said she didn't want to have sex with me.

I realized, right then, that what she meant was... she was offering me sex with her.  Oh, yes, I tell you, I knew.  I was quite tempted.  She was a pretty little thing.  But, I knew, everything about what was happening was... could, would... go sideways in a dozen ways.  Back then, there, it wasn't so much a problem... as long as you... took care of the mess.  But a mess it would be.

It was a very difficult thing to get out from under.  My want, her want, the ease.  It was an open door.  I... can't remember exactly how I figured the way out, but I did.  Not a thing of pride, but something I am grateful to have... avoided.  Oh, I liked the girl.  If that was some of my reservation.  Though, sometimes, one way or another, damned if you do, damned if you don't.  If some damnations are worldly, and even then I knew some damnations were better than others.

I ought to ask my mother whatever happened to the girl.  She might not know offhand, but she could find out with a few calls and some time.  I ought to tell her the story.  She... likes stories... with better endings, morals, and such... especially if real.  Not sure it's her thing, in real life, but for a story... especially a true one... it returns some of her shattered hope?  Maybe.  Somehow.

Oh, going to add a bit of the meat crumble to the soup.  It's a bit lean on meat.  I thought I added enough, though I probably was a bit shy when pulling from the main container?  Yea, I think so.  Still, I'd like to see if crumble will add to the soup, or just be to insubstantial.  I like playing with soups and stews.  Might well make it to gravies more and soon as well.

Yep.  Two visitors since I shut down the blog.  All good.  I am surprised there are two!  Later.

Extremely tired.

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Even so, I would like to try to make it to early evening.  To put the ducks in, pull the waterers, and else.  But I don't think I will make it.  I tried gaming, but I'm falling asleep at the wheel... sometimes virtually literally.  Computing... websurfing... just doesn't offer the imput/output required to keep me afloat.  All good.  On to bed.  I will set the alarm for late afternoon, early evening.

No, I haven't caught the second rabbit.  Oh... best put out some food for him, just in case.  I didn't have enough energy by the time it was light, and that just doesn't improve.  Tomorrow?  I can hope.  I fear for the little guy, and hope for him.  Not much else I can do but offer him feed... for now.  He did find the food I put out for him last night.  I think he was watching me from brush, or under his cage... or thereabouts.  I will put out a goodly bit.  In part, it gives him a reason to stay.

Not much else done.  But food has been good.  Soup really is good, even thin.  Though I may add thickener for the next portion.  Homecooked stew and soup is so very warming, and versatile.  If you get bored of it, add other things.  Cabbage, kale, chinese cabbage, mushrooms of many sorts, carrots, possibly apples?  There are so many things you can add.  If it isn't truly keto?  Add less.  Like, when I add potatoes, I only eat a few bite sized pieces per day.  Carrots the same.  More liquid, a bit more or less meat.  Oh, with mushrooms?  Just add them uncooked.  In the fifteen to twenty minutes it takes to heat, then the ten to fifteen to cool to proper eating temps (for me), the mushrooms are perfectly cooked as they are being ladled.  Even a potato, if cut small enough, will cook fully in that time.  Cabbage takes longer.  I'd guess turnips, rutabagas, and other root veggies will most get done in short order, if you might want to dice into bite-sized pieces.  

Oh, yes, food.  It's been so good to finally be eating regularly, well, and variably again.  And, I think for hot weather?  Make it as I have, but puree the veggies.  Not the meat.  Something tastes wrong with pureed meat.  Puree the veggies, add the meat back, cool, and perhaps add a bit of sour cream, whipping cream, even milk if you can handle the carbs.  Will have to spice it a bit stronger.  Just a working theory for now, though, in time, I may try that even this winter yet.

Good night?  Something.  Later or much later.

Oh, right... private.

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I shut it down today.  Private doesn't mean much, but it means some things.

It's just about time for chores.  I woke at an odd time, and remain awake.  I had taco salad earlier, and soup just now.  This time, without thickening, it is more like a beef soup than stew.  Even adding heavy cream doesn't push it over that line.  Kale, broccoli, celery (it was in the pack of various veggies... I hadn't noticed until digging in for the other veggies), and?  I think that was it.  I cut the fleurets down into smaller bite sized pieces.  I'd like to obtain mushrooms, while getting romaine lettuce soon.  And, perhaps, checking the keto tortillas or pseudo corn shells.

I am about to do some laundry, though I think I should do chores first.  Then a trim and a shower.  I may go on, try to take a nap, after all that.  Trash and dishes, maybe recycling?  I am nearing finishing dishes, if the kitchen is a mess.  Everywhere is a mess, actually.  Ugh.  I will keep trying.  Having food on again is quite nice.  Even just soup is good enough to warm the body quite well.  Oh, and for meat in too big of chunks?  Culinary scissors do wonders.  I wasn't sure that would work out well.  It... does.  I may even use scissors to finish that last bit of reduction with meat.  Knives just don't seem optimal for smaller bits, and I don't want to cook the beef down so much that it can be shredded.  That's too small, and too done.

I do wonder if anyone can even see this site now?  Will find out before long.  Later.

Ugh.

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Went to bed around... who knows!  Perhaps 18:30?  I had stayed up all day, and into my night.  I have been going to bed a few hours after dawn, to get fresh water out and let the ducks out.  So... I went to bed around ten hours after what has become bedtime.  I woke around midnight, but tried to stay and plug a few more hours into the sleep world.  No could do.  I couldn't even nod back, a little bit.  I suppose my body is splitting the difference, with my old schedule?

I had forgotten to put the burger up.  But, it should be fine after just a few hours.  I had just finished cooking it, and would have needed to let it cool.  I had a wonderful couple of servings of it, with romaine lettuce, and nothing else.  It was actually quite good.  I had a side dish of unsweetened apple sauce with a few raspberries... frozen initially.  Just a sprinkle.  Keto, mostly.  The berries are pushing it, maybe the applesauce as well, but being unsweetened, I don't worry so much.  Quite a good little meal.

Milk and cream arrived, so I need to reset the kefir.  I really have enjoyed that.  If I can get back on point with kefir, I may need to get another gallon of milk.  These critters eat the lactose... cow milk sugar... replacing it with a whole host of gooder little bugs... good for the gut, but tasty and dietetically sound.  Good plain, good with a few fruits, perhaps excellent with... say... fresh tomatoes and other fruits and veggies?  Just add enough for taste... a whole fresh tomato, diced, then added in small portions... with say a portion of a cucumber... could last a whole week... just one of each.

Kidneys are feeling rough.  And, last night, my legs had swollen so terribly I decided to hit reset.  I used a few of the last waterpills, holdovers in the medsets I scrounged a bit ago for backup.  I took three.  It wasn't working, until a few hours after going to bed everything dropped.  I would guess I unloaded nearly two liters in one go.  My feet and ankles are looking much better, if still not perfect.  Oh, and I cramped, in both legs, quite terribly as I voided.  There was no way to wrestle with two at once, so I forced myself to stand on them... which forced a normal... non-spasmed... alignment, which took care of the charlie horses.  Either that or I was going to fall.

I will take a few pain pills, since all I have done is talk about taking them all week.  :p  I haven't had aspirin or else for, probably, ten days?  But I talk a good game.  Procrastination, forgetfulness... and a few other vices... can be played into virtues, if done correctly?  Or... not done at all?  I dunno.  I just know, taking too much of anything is... unwise.  But, tonight, I think I will take a few.

Dishes were mostly done, and hand dried... just being allowed to airdry a bit before being put up.  The stew was put away.  The crumble will be, save a bit to heat back up for another salad.  The lettuce is going fast.  I need to replace it.  As well, try several sorts of "keto" tortillas.  I'll have to test, see if they work... will know.  If they spike insulin, they aren't keto.  Though, even if it is good keto, extreme moderation is required.

Neither fully awake, nor fully asleep.  Not sure what is going on.  Trying to get my feet moving, if more figuratively.  A bit of gaming, while I try to remember my name?  Yeah.  Later.