Hmm...

.

.

Maybe not?  After speaking with my mother, perhaps my brother isn't up to anything.  Last time I spoke with her, she had suggested my brother was calling every other day.  Now, just a few days later, and more coherent, she says he only called frequently when she first went back.  So, yea, okay.

And, she is almost certain she is getting out.  That... doesn't mean she will.  It only means she still thinks she will be going home.  She asked me about my plans, I told her.  It is, as always, to be there when she gets home.  To be her part-time help.  No gaming systems, just Japanese lessons, card games we can play together, and maybe a board game, to help with her memory and such.

I haven't told her everything.  I am there, as much to help, as to evaluate.  If, in two weeks, she has improved enough to take back over, then good.  If not, I may spend another two weeks trying to get her back into the nursing home.  I don't want her floundering, and dying at home, needlessly.  She has to be able to take care of herself, take her medicine, and get on with the rest of her life.

I may spend another week or two there, either way.  And I will help her.  Fairly well, I think.  So much easier with two people, potentially.  By the sounds of it, they won't decide anything, there at the facility, for a while yet.  They are running physical therapy with her, though, and tiring her.  So, I think even they are planning on her going home.

Ugh.  I... just feel bad for my brother.  I would call...  Should I call?  They remain in my prayers.  I'm not sure... he wants to talk, right now?  A good time to talk, sometimes.  I'm not timid about sharing in someone's hurt, though neither do I wish to be a problem.  The balance, on some things, I am terrible with.  So... yes, I'll call.  If nothing else, I will leave a message of encouragement and concern.

Later.

--------------

Oh my word!  On top of all his other problems, today was the day.  They pulled his bottom teeth.  His medicine, and general health issues, caused his teeth to go bad.  So, they pulled them all.  I don't know if they will be doing his tops, or if only his bottom teeth went wrong?  But... that... is quite enough.

He talked a bit, but was in such pain there wasn't much he could do.  I told him I will add this to my prayer concerns, and kept it very brief.  I am glad I called.  They have the in-laws, too, in poor health.  They have their health issues.  And this.  What a lug, I can be.  As tough as things can be, here, there are some who... when it rains, it pours.  If you wish to offer a prayer for him, and his family, I'd be grateful.

Brothers.  Can be annoying.  Right or wrong.

Up, but rather groggy.

.

.

Some of it is restarting medicine.  The grogginess.  Some of it was that it was too warm, 76 up there.  I hadn't used the ac.  Well, and part of it, is I think I am waking with too little sleep.  The warmth was too much.  By the time I realized it, it had forced me awake.  I turned on the ac, it was too little too late.  So, awake I am, I suppose.  For now.

My mind was spinning.  The idea is to do chores, then mop the first time in the bathroom.  But... I really need to clear and clean the freezer top, for dishes, and get those started first.  Then do chores.  THEN, sweep, again, in there, then mop.  Sweeping, at this point, isn't much of a chore.  It's a seven by seven room!

Part of the reason I need the dishes started, is so that I make room to clean the mop, for a rinse.  There is, technically, room enough.  But I want more, and controlled, space.  I best get medicine in, too.  Restarting is tricky.

It's not even 15:00, waking around half til.  I may call my mother.  As time passes, and nothing is being relayed, I am assuming she is staying in the nursing home.  It's a done deal, and no one thought to let me know, beyond a doubt, that was the plan.  So be it.  I... doubt if she knows, yet?  Maybe.  Or maybe, she, like me, has begun to understand?

That... uncomplicates my life a bit.  But, it wasn't about my life.  And, maybe that is where she belongs, at this point.  I simply don't know. I'll call her, see how she is doing, and that is all.  I will continue with the house, and medicine, and all.  It just won't be in prep.  And, maybe, instead of helping her, I can help myself.

Coffee water should be ready.  Or tea today?  Later.

Not much, not fast.

.

.

Starting medicine, full blast, was more than I could do and work.  But, it was necessary.  I am still pushing on, just not quite at the pace taken yesterday.  All good though.  It will happen.  It is happening.

A good meal.  Brats, with sauerkraut.  But I really wanted chicken.  I didn't want to bake, at that time, though.  Nor did I want leftovers which are too smoky to eat.  So?  So only cook what I was going to eat.  The rest was repackaged.  And easy solution, one a tired mind might not hit upon.  

It is 75 here, and I am freezing.  I'll have to put something extra on.

I had to go looking for cleaning solution, for the bathroom.  I found it and scrubbed the sink.  It really needed it.  I think something backs up, into that, from time to time.  Not many standard cleaners work.  I found something which does work.  I just can't always remember where I put it.  I thought I was keeping it under the sink.  I was right, after having looked elsewhere, not remembering immediately.  Sparkling.

I am hoping, yet tonight, to sweep again.  Then mop.  Then rinse.  As I said, I want to get that floor clean enough to eat off of, if... with no such intention.  I will get there, maybe even yet tonight.  As well, I need to clear and clean the freezer top.  I may do that first, actually.

Oh... a dream.  A casket, in a quiet, darker room.  Not unlit, more simply subdued as to lighting.  A few lights around, but more a few candles.  No one was there.  It was my casket, with me in it, if I couldn't see, I knew.  I don't know how I died.  No one visited.  I didn't mind.  I was... comfortable with the idea.  I don't need others, or life.  Or death, as the case is now.  Amen.

Well, on to something else.  Maybe the freezer top.  If that is finished, then starting a few pans of dishes.  Then back to gaming, though with a timer.  Good evening, or morning.  Later.

Up and going.

.

.

Ducks, first thing.  In the evening, my morning, as with my nighttime, and their morning.  Plus I checked on the rabbits.  Just a short review.  The potential mother still hasn't kitted.  One more day without and I will pull the kit box.  Cats fed, fresh water brought in for them.  I still need to clear their litter.  I did it at bedtime, but like doing that two to three times a day.  Sam pees so very frequently.  I know it is her, for when she is outside, Sassy rarely uses the facilities.  Sam is rail thin, drinks very much and frequently.  So... I try to keep up on it.

Then I reviewed the bathroom.  Not a bad start.  While emptying the pee jug, I cleaned it and the toilet out.  I use bleach on those once or twice a week.  Watered the girls with fresh.  And am thinking about what next.  The real idea is to sweep one more time, then mop, rinse, clean more precisely, say with a toothbrush in areas, then mop and rinse one last time.  The sink will be washed first, actually.

As well, while I begin that, I will also begin with some of the  dishpans of dishes in the tub.  Just a few at a time, so I don't become overwhelmed.  But, before I start that, I want to clear and clean the freezer top.  It's nearly there, having to do that a few days ago to get meat into the freezer.  But it wasn't washed.  So... yea... do that probably first, then set dishes to go, then a general mopping, much tighter cleaning of the floor and etc, then a rinse and repeat.  Then reset the hamper and bathroom chair... after cleaning those if/as necessary.  A... start.

In there, as I get tired of the bathroom, I will hit boxes.  First, breaking down those in the living room.  Then finding any others anywhere else in the house, and taking those to the living room to finish with boxes... for a while.  After those two majors, then into the kitchen, proper, itself, for itself.  Not as a side gig while working in t he bathroom, as has been the odd case from time to time so far.

Ask, and you shall receive.

At some point, along with handling the litter, I will actually go account for the food and water of the rabbits.  The ones in the outbuilding have, at least water though probably food, but are low enough that the waterers need to be replaced.  And, with the expectant momma, I have extra water and food.  I turned two bunny apartments into one, and left the feed and water from the old second apartment.

So... yeah.  Oh, and I finally coaxed myself to sleep longer.  Waking after only six hours, especially having restarted medicine, and while working, is tight.  I pushed another three hours down.  So... all very good.  The meats have thawed.  I may bake chicken later tonight.  But, first, brats.  So easy, just grill.  Adding half a pack of sauerkraut.  Easy, keto, fast.  I would grill the chicken, but that really is too smoky.  The first night, while warm/hot, it is good.  But once cooled, then reheated, it smells and tastes far too smoky... for my tastes.  I may, also, fry the burger, into crumble, for taco salads and whatever else might cross my mind, keto or not sometimes.

Well, there is that.  I'll probably clear litter, and either take my break or finish chores and call it good.  Then set the timer for an hour or probably two, at which time a work session starts.  I don't count chores as a work session, but I do take a break after them.  Later.

Just a bit more.

.

.

Yes, waterers.  As planned.  But, too, cats fed, their litter reset, and ducks tended.  I didn't do a lot else out there, but I did check on a doe who was accidentally made pregnant.  She is about due.  I've seen fluff, so I put a kit box out there.  I'll be checking each day, until something happens, or doesn't.

Ah, but, too, I gathered clean clothes I'd prefer for the trip.  Those will go up with me, as I go to bed.  I will sort them in the morning.  Folding or combining, as with socks.  Medicines, too, including insulin.  I think a few other things.  I just can't remember as I fade.

I have also stalled a bit longer, staying up later into the day again.  It is 50 outside, 74 indoors, front and main.  The ac has been off all night, not sure what it will be like up there.  Cool, I can hope.  But who can ever really tell.  If it's cool enough, I will sleep without ac.  If it heats up, I'll know it, wake, and adjust that.  Heat is one of those things I can't do, especially while sleeping.

Sore, though.  And tired.  While it is one of those satisfying sorts, it... doesn't feel all that good even for that, today, this morning... night.  This isn't about me, though.  It's about tasks which need to be done.  Feelings, even suffering, are not of concern.  On to bed, finally.  Good night.  Have a wonderful morning and day.

Far less and far more.

.

.

Work, that is.  And, then anticipated.  While I didn't do a single box, or finish the bathroom, with all that was involved, and some side projects connected, and not, with this, I did more work than if I had just done what I suggested.  Some of the side projects weren't a choice.  Getting from a to b required those things.  Other things were simply more convenient.  Something about striking while the iron is hot.

I still feel somewhat unhappy with it all.  I feel as if I should have done more.  Truth is, I don't think more was possible.  Thinking... Feeling...  The two don't always go together well.  This is one of those cases.  Actually, I am surprised, even amazed, at what was done.  I just... wanted more, and more on target.  It simply wasn't, probably, possible.

I will refill the waterers, as a last thing.  Then it is on to bed.  I'll make sure I took medicine.  I didn't take insulin.  I will take the slow acting stuff, alone.  Mixing the two is more dangerous than most things I can do with insulin.  The cats have been fed often enough, though I may hit their litter one last time tonight.

Ugh.  Tired.  Ready for bed.  But a few more things.  Good morning, night, and day.

Okay. Well, a start.

.

.

There is always more to a task than anticipated.  Clearing the bathroom also meant moving a lot of things.  But, to just move them blindly, stupidly, they would just become a problem for another day.  So some diligence was offered in the moving.  As much a thing for it's place and a place for the things, as was possible.  Some things, however, belong back in there, so...  Even so, just moving those things willy-nilly isn't good either.

Done, well enough to sweep.  Some things are still in there.  I need to fill waterers before I can remove the pails.  Which... will be done shortly.  For now, I merely swept one side of the bathroom, moved those there, then swept the other side.  Always a trick, if all else fails.

Supper, earlier, or lunch?  Salad, with tuna, as suggested.  It doesn't have much weight, or warmth.  Thinking about something else, before long.  Brats or kielbasa should do, with some of the sauerkraut.  Heated.  As well, I pulled meat to thaw.  If I am going to work, I am going to need to eat.

It has been longer and shorter sessions.  And, surprisingly... to me anyway... I have been able to break from the game to do these work sessions.  I would guess I have had four, so far.  That may be it for the night, or not.  I'll... see.  Oh, I'll get insulin in, the slow acting... as well as night pills.  And, when next I dine, I will do some fast acting.

Cycle down, cycle up.  It might take a bit.  But, for now, I am doing some work.  The long term goal is three to five, one to three hour work sessions a day.  Though, one or two hefty ones might undo me for the day, even if of shorter duration.  Still, bits and parts, here and there.  The future started a while ago, and is going well.

Later.

More and a bit more, so far.

.

.

Some things not listed, regarding the rabbits.  One, which may be kitting (mothering) soon, has received a litter box, with some hay in it.  Will have to see how that works out.  If she doesn't deliver in the next few days, I'll pull it and put in a fresh one.  And, some moves.  Oh, and another, two, I thought were does... weren't.  Although, now, I think I can tell them apart.

When carrying one of the does to another cage, she started screaming.  I thought she could be carried by the scruff.  Perhaps she is too big, so I changed how I was carrying her.  However, one of my favorite hens... Mourning Dove, attacked me for seeming to hurt the rabbit?  Cool.  I didn't know that was a thing.  But I... don't mind it.  Farm animals have to stick together.  To be fair, I wasn't meaning to hurt her, and when she started screaming, I immediately sought a different means by which to carry her.  But... all good.

After that, a break.  Then into the bathroom, for a rough first start to a first start.  Then I fed the ducks, and watered, again.  I have been... late, and missing, lately.  I am trying to make up for it.  As well, I will check on the rabbits later tonight.  I am setting the alarm.  If I am not ready, legitimately, when the alarm goes off, I reset it.  If I just don't want to, I get up and do some work anyway.

I have limits... on how much I can do, how long I can work, they factor together.  But, until I get back into shape, it will have to be short shifts with long breaks.  I don't mind an hour or two of work, and an hour to three down.  If I can get three, or four, work sessions, per day, I can get some things done, and ready.

I need to begin making a list of items for travel, perhaps putting some of the clothes together in a suitcase.  Maybe setting up toiletries, more putting stuff in travel sized containers, or putting things I have extras of into some sort of smaller luggage.  As well, I will be taking the Japanese books, rather than the ps4.  My focus will be on being able to hear and respond to my mother.  Then again, I'm not sure about my brother.  He sounds to have made up his mind to get her put in a home and be done with it.  I'm not sure he wants me to go.

I'm not sure how to get back there, without his help.  I'll... be thinking.

The bathroom has been started.  Some clearing.  But between that, and the ducks, and checking the rabbits the first time, I am finished for a bit.  My next session will hopefully include finishing clearing the bathroom.  If I have anything left after that, boxes will begin being torn down.  After I finish tearing the boxes down, the back to the bathroom, this time to clean.  That won't stop until it is completely cleaned, if it takes two or four sessions.  Though I am thinking one or maybe two sessions.

If I have anything else, after that, I will begin bringing any last boxes from anywhere to the front room where I am harvesting them, and beginning to clear the counters in the kitchen and setting up dishes to be washed.  One thing at a time, mostly.  Never sure how fast or hard I can work, or for how long.  Only that I have a program going that seems to be working.  As well, I started medicine.  I will do insulin shortly, slow acting.  And have fast acting with anything I eat, according to what I eat.

It's started back up.  Strange what a plea, prayer, can bring.  Not always.  Sometimes it just doesn't matter.  Sometimes it really helps.  But the help was for me to help myself, just a matter of clarity and direction that allowed for it.  Something that was missing, often is.  This time, for now, it... sure helped.

It is 68 outside.  It is 78 in here, the front computer room.  And I thought it read 75 in the main room.  Not bad, and I don't feel cold, or cool.  I turned the ac off upstairs, though will probably have to start it back up when I go on up to sleep next time.

And I best eat something.  I won't work long without something in.  A salad, with mushrooms and tuna?  Maybe.  But I will need something a bit... meatier later.  The leftover brats or kielbasa, with sauerkraut.  That would do.  And a glass of milk, until I get the kefir up and running again.  Ugh.  Another thing.

Later.

Doing nothing versus even doing my past normal?

.

.

I forgot how much I do, usually, before doing anything else, in the mornings.  After having not been doing, or remembering doing, these things for a while.  I had a bunch to do just to get ready to get started to do the things I want to do!  Little bits, but it all adds up.

So, finally, almost ready.  But I need a break.  It's been a while since I've done much.  But, I am ready to begin shortly.  I'll set a spot of tea to steep, and while resting, catching my wind, I'll sip that.  Nothing fancy, but it works.  Or water first?  Maybe.  Thirsty, that's for certain.  If tea isn't exactly a thirst killer.

Cats are fed and litter tended.  I'll get them fresh water when I go out for chores.  So, it's just the outdoor critters for now.  Then to the bathroom, boxes, and back to the bathroom... as is possible.  Just amazed at how much I do, at least after doing nothing, just to spin up in the morning.

I'll be taking meds soon.  With the water, probably, as tea steeps.  Good day.

Praying to God.

.

.

After days, or weeks? of being fallen down, I quit trying it alone.  The last few days, blindly, and with little hope, I started praying.  Sometimes adding snippets during meals, usually at bedtime and at waking, and variously through the day, I would supplicate the Lord, that he be with me and guide me through whatever is wrong at this moment.  I tell Him I have gone blind, and fallen into a sloth of all sorts, of which I cannot extricate myself no matter how hard I try.

As I was finishing my morning prayer, as a shot from the blue, a few things became clear in my mind.  A shower, to take a shower, first thing.  Then, chores, all of them.  If I can't do them all at once, make sure they are all finished in short order, and check again later.  Do these after the shower and posting.  Read the internet later, after.  

As well, two jobs for today.  Tear down boxes in the front room, and maybe get those ready to go.  Then, clean the bathroom, on hands and knees or otherwise as needed.  Strip it, clear it, clean it.  Not all can be done at once.  But put break/game time on a timer.  And start back on medicine.

So it was heard, so it will be.  So be it.

Shower taken.  After, chores.  I will include the girls in this.  Their litter first, then feeding.  Then the ducks and rabbits.  I am going to try to do all of the chores at once.  Not sure I can.  Then a longer break, gaming in between.  But, after two or three hours, back to some work.

I think, for work, I will clear the bathroom first.  Then work on tearing boxes down, for a session or two.  Then, when that is finished, get back to working on the bathroom.  The sink and tub first, then the toilet and floor.  The toilet is in pretty good shape, the rest is pretty tough.

I have already showered.  If all goes well, and I finish work today, a new list will be made tomorrow.  Kitchen counters and dishes, probably.  Digging out any boxes remaining in the kitchen area as well.  And looking through things in the living room.  Just... starts.  But, the start IS where we begin.  Oh, and another shower, tomorrow.  This time, probably, shaving as well.

Oh, if you want to do me a spot?  Pray that His will be done.  In this and all His matters.  Pray that we do His will.  It seems, His will is left to us?  Amen.

On to chores.  Good 'morning', afternoon, and day.  Amen, I say to thee, amen, again, brother.

I'm in a bit of a spot.

.

.

Off meds, lost of mind, cold in spite of the warmth, having trouble getting anything done.  Even the day I had been expanding into is collapsing back again.  I am beginning to sleep earlier, not later as had been the plan.  I don't understand that.  Trying to push through.  Shove, fight, but nothing is giving.  

I did get the trash out.  That helped.  But that is one of dozens of things which need to be done.  And, when I am awake, I might as well not be.  Gaming is helping me stay awake.  But when I don't game, I crash.  It's not either game or be awake doing other things.  If I am going to be awake, gaming is how I do it.

So tired, always.  Crushing exhaustion.  And cold.  At 75 and higher.

I have been eating better.  A bit carby today, but it was the only meal.  Generally I have been doing pretty good keto.  Hot coffee, to try to stay warm.  I should move over to tea.  I can drink that without sweetener, when it is hot or warm.  The thing about tea is it needs to be steeped.  I often lose track, even with an alarm as a memory tender.  Tea can turn quite bitter if steeped too long.  And doesn't taste good at room temp.  Hot, cold, or no thank you.

It's about bedtime.  I'm looking something up, or trying.  Then back to bed.

Good day, night, morning, else as required.  Amen.

A tough time getting going.

.

.

I did eat, something.  A few small tomatoes, half dozen carrot sticks, a dozen very small baby carrots, and a two tablespoons of peanut butter.  As keto a peanut butte as is possible, with three ingredients and 5 carbs per tablespoon.  A couple of glasses of milk, since.  Not keto, at all.  But easy.

Getting going is not happening.  So tired.  It reads 75 everywhere in the house.  but it's... cold.  Not sure what is up with that.

I'll keep aiming at getting going.  Later.

Not as well as yesterday.

.

.

I won't be up as long, that is.  Still, three to five hours later than what had been the norm of late.  So, it's still something.

I got the trash out.  Boy did it need to go.  I didn't realize how bad it had gotten.  So, yea.  And I cleared the girls' litter, restarting with fresh.  I had refreshed a few days ago, but that didn't seem to help.  As well, recycling.  Mostly perrier bottles and cat food tins.  If those are actually metal?

Gaming most of the night.  Couldn't do much else.  The ducks were fed and watered already.  Rabbits will have to wait.

It looks a bit overcast out there.  The thermometer in the front room reads 74, with 42% humidity.  I would guess the whole house is about that temp.  Which is actually sort of cool, to chill.  Though, perhaps I am not eating enough calories?  Not getting enough carbs?  Something strange, for me to be cool, even cold, at this temp.  Though, maybe, coming down from the 90s and 100s, perhaps this is cold, to my body.

On to bed.  Have a great morning.  I will sleep as well as possible.

Up. Way too early.

.

.

Going down, at around 11:00? noon?  thirty?  My body kept trying to wake.  I wanted to sleep.  I lost.  Ducks were fed before I went to sleep, and watered.  Rabbits where roughly checked, and all looked good.  The cats were fed, and given a fresh pan of water.  Litter?  I can't remember, will do so if I missed it.

I thought it was 13:30, and small to large change, when I woke.  But that must have been a mistake, or I woke earlier, looked at the clock, and thought then was now?  As I sit, after having made and et a sandwich, it is 17:18.  It must have been 17:00, or after, when I actually woke.  Simply haven't done enough for it to have been much earlier.

I need to start getting things in order.  I did call my mother, before going to bed.  Her short term memory sucks.  But she is doing better.  She is already out of the hospital, and into nursing care.  So... her time there is short.  So... I better get a to-do list created, clear some of the house, clean a bit, and get some things ready for packing.  Most clothes are clean.  Not folded.  Fluffing in the dryer, folding into a suitcast, and... should be good.  Three pants of whatever sort, six shirts?  Ten underwear and socks, or so.  Two pair of shoes, and house shoes.  Nothing fancy, but it should do.  Well, and my mats, sleeping mats.  It's how I do, these days.  So, a few sets of sheets and blankets.  I will buy pillows there.  Oh, and shampoo, conditioner, shave kit in case I decide Iowa is too uncomfortable for a beard... actually should just remove that now.  I know it will be.  The humidity, you know.

Ugh.  I really have to get up and running.  Double ugh.  Time is nearing

The more you learn, the less you know?

.

.

It only seems that way.  Imagine if you were a fish, your mind was the bowl in which you life.  As it gets larger, it might both begin to feel strange, and expanded.  In some ways, nothing has changed.  In other ways, everything has changed.  You have literally changed your mind.  Either, in some sense, it is no longer yours, or you aren't the same fish.  I'm not sure which possibility is the worst.  Though I suspect both are the truth.

Never mind, about that last part.  You don't actually know less, you simply have more capacity to understand some things, including how much more you don't know.  Not everything you learn leads to more questions.  Not all call me, at least, to question in new ways.  But some things do.  I'd say, depending on the topic, a third to two thirds of learned material requires an evaluation of what I already knew, or thought I knew.

The worst times are when I am learning too quickly, by necessity, to slow down and resolve those questions.  That leads to dark places.  I don't like that.  If, too, that is often the sum of life.  Merely surviving, swimming blindly, going down a river, just trying to get air and a way out.  But there really isn't a way out.  Some get used to it, just go with the flow.  Others never stop trying, but succeed no better the those who surrendered.

Again, never mind that.  I keep learning new things in the game.  Sometimes that leads to other questions, sometimes it is an end to itself.  But I definitely do know more than I did before.  Each thing learned usually opens up something, or a group of things.  Well, and beyond knowing, there is application.  Those two, which should be automatically connected, don't always happen right together, or together at all.  Cynicism, the language of the mind.  It has it's uses.  It's negative side of the double edge is that it can prevent function through doubt.

Wow.  That's a lot of thinking for a little learning?  Aye, but so be it.

Another dinner.  It was good to have warm food.  I am freezing.  In spite of it being 75 front and middle of the house.  Very strange.  I'll have a coffee, shortly.  Need something warming.  Freezing!  At 75?  Crazy.  Anyway...  A bit of coffee, and a bit more gaming, as I try to push my way back into day.  Good... morning, day, night, whatever!

Awake, a bit before my time.

.

.

My friend's brother has returned.  He stopped to visit, and ask for an item.  He was hollering from downstairs, but with the ac, and having gone to bed at 04:00 or 05:00, I couldn't hear.  So, up the stairs he went.  Quite a surprise, but... okay.  No worries.  Good to see him, he's been out east all summer, working a pest control gig.  He just returned last Friday I believe.

While here, I showed him how the ducks, rabbits, and cats, are fed and watered, where the litter pans are, and where some of the food is.  As well, I showed him a rough short preview of how to do it, and some ideas on how to do it.  I should make a check list, and create some copies.  It makes it a lot easier, I think.

Anyway, up at a bit after noon.  It is now almost 13:00.  I had the ac off, when I went to bed, but needed to turn it on this morning, around 08:00.  Actually two minutes before.  I had set the alarms for 08:00 and 10:00, to try to cancel milk delivery for today.  I... am backlogged.  Need to get back to kefir, but... I've been dragging.  Anyway, woke in time to do that, before the alarm bothered me.  Shut them both off, turned on the ac, and went back to crashing.

Ducks and cats have been fed.  Ducks have been watered as well.  Rabbits will get tended in a bit.  And I'll grab a bucket of water and refresh the girls' water.  And, I have cheese sandwich makings.  Still not sure if I'm going back to bed or not.  I woke up racing, with a visitor a bit close.  No troubles, just... a bit of a... surprise.  Now that adrenalin is back down, may crash, or soon.  All good.

Later.

Bedtime.

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Dinner and a movie.  The movie didn't turn out well.  A random grab from amazon prime.  Those are very miss and sometimes hit.  It's something, a gamble I can't really lose, mostly.  I overcooked the brats, but not to the inedible stage.  Close.  Still, was tasty enough with 'live' sauerkraut.

Later, just now really, I had some of the salad, with fresh mushrooms in with it.  I had to look at a lot of dressings before I could find one which was... minimally sat.  Many had soy oil as their first ingredient!  The best I could find was canola oil.  It's not the best, but vastly better than soy.  As well, the rest of the ingredients, and there were fewer, seemed, mostly, better.

It was the Newman's Best... some such.  Profits go to charity, but charity has become more charlatan than even the government in general.  So, that... really isn't something.  Though, who knows, maybe they are careful with their charities, how they are run, and what they do.  Giving people a hand up is one thing, giving them a handout, forever, breaks people.  Unless, of course, they are broken.  I know that, I get that.

Strangely, it was less expensive than most other brands!  I didn't notice that until looking over all else, and accepting.  I was expecting a premium price.  It was quite reasonable.  There were only two flavors, italian and ranch.  After looking both over, I took both.  Hoping they weren't horrible tasting.

Nope, pretty good.  The best ever?  Good enough, and by plenty.  I do try to eat right, but the stores and manufacturers sure make it difficult.  I was about to return the salad and just walk.  I had put the nteenth type back, and was just about to literally walk away when I noticed this brand.  I generally have never given it a thought, thinking it was probably overpriced typical garbage.  I... was wrong.  Or, perhaps the price has come down as many others think similarly?  Whatever, it... was a more than fair price for a good quality, good tasting item.  As I said, I do try.

To bed even earlier, tonight.  I may let the cats up.  I just fed them, they should be in good humors.  Oh, and I fed and watered the ducks again, this evening.  I am making up, a bit, for being on and off, and missing a few days this week.  Plus, the young ones need lots of food.  Lots and lots of food, right now.  Still, two feedings a day will be mostly the usual.  Rain, sun, snow, or fog.

Good night.

Quite nice.

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With feed arranged, animals tended, and girl cats too...  With most tasks I am aware of handled...  Social contacts managed...  It took ALL week to get this far.  And I had to struggle through it.  Forgetting my phone, tiring before I could finish, always something.  But I was able to keep at it.

My heart is sore, tonight.  One thing I have been missing is medicine.  I'll... I'm... on that.  But my mind is at ease.  With things done, and getting doner.  Tomorrow I am hoping to dig into the boxes, tearing them down.  The, nearly, mostly, last batch.  There are still some which have come in, but those aren't necessarily empty or ready.  Still, this will be the culmination of a long effort.

If I do well, I may get the last of the empty boxes, after these get broken down, out here and themselves broken down.  then to begin a few other things.  Perhaps, next week, figuring out how to rent a apartment size bin, then filling it.  I have enough for a load, probably.  I thought it was around $30 a month, plus a $20 charge per pickup.  Not exactly sure, but I think it was about that.  I could get one or two loads out in the next week or two.  Then call it quits, with that, for the year.

Maybe.  If I can.  Bleh.

Oh, finally, a real, homecooked (mostly) meal.  Brats.  Cooking on the grill.  The grill has been lit, always takes a bit.  First to heat up.  Then to get it to pipe down.  Bratwursts?  They ought to be called bratbests.  I like them, anyway.  Those and some of the 'live' sauerkraut.  I would, eventually, like to make my own sauerkraut.  I suppose, then can it.  Not... pressure can, but more jar, and see if it stores?  The problem with big batches is that it has to go bad, or get stronger.  Would like to experiment with that though.  Just because.

It is 62 out there.  A rather nice night.  Pleasant, as I see things.  It, without opening up, is down to 76 in here, next to the computer, much cooler elsewhere.  But, I am enjoying it.  I am acclimating to the lower temps.  They wiped me out first.  And, if it jumps to the high 90s again, that will do me for!  Doubtful that would be around long, but it would wipe me out for a few days no matter, and at least.

Yea.  A good day.  I'll get back to gaming in a bit, after dinner.  May have to feed the girls again.  Ugh.  AND share some of one of my brats.  Brats!  Though only Sam eats that particular food, as with hamburger.  I think they take turns turning their noses up at various foods.  But Sam is a terrible beggar.  I have become strict about that.  NO!  Anyway.  Later.

Not bad.

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Not everything planned, but not bad.  Returned the package.  Running late, no shower, but... so be it.  Done.  Then on to shopping.  I haven't shopped this month, at the grocery store.  No wonder I was eating sardines.  I still have roasts, but who wants hot foods on hot days?  More cold cuts, mayo, this time they had a whole large salad, in a disposable container, for less than the components.  Fresh, at least store packaged.  I looked it over very carefully and then took it.

Oh, I had been missing butter.  It's been so long since I've used it.  Hot weather just... no.  Still, I have been wanting butter... for a bowl of popcorn, or to make keto bread.  This, that, and the other things.  As well, yogurt and cottage cheese.  Plain, regular fat, tasty.  This, that, and the other things.  Well done.

Then a meal on the way home.  I had intended to get the car cleaned, but the traffic was an absolute abomination!  I was stuck in a hundred mile long traffic jam!  At least it wasn't on the freeway, where I couldn't get off.  Though the side arteries were just about as bad, so no great relief there.  So I skipped the car wash.

Oh, but getting everything put up required Herculean effort.  I had to clear off the freezer, as the fridge freezer was full.  And I had to clear space in the fridge, from... stuff.  I haven't been drinking or using milk for kefir.  Which reminds me, no more milk for a while!  Ugh.

While I was doing that, I have the ducks another drink, and fed them while out there.  Twice a day, for now.  With the feed, maybe three times watering.  They really are using a lot of resources currently.  So be it.  Oh, I may have two drakes, in that first lot.  I wonder if the ratio, though, is skewed female.  I could see that.  They aren't monogamous, at all.  They aren't even totally one breed types.  Actually, I think the muscovy are.  Henry, the indian runner drake, isn't.  Though... I'm not sure, at times, if he would required a hen.  Poor bastard has it bad when he gets a wood on.

Earlier, I checked on a good friend, away working.  Sounds and looks like fun.  They even got to play with 'splosives.  Legally and else, but still, all good.  A day with boom, while keeping all limbs, digits, and else, is a good one.  Mostly.  I'm trying to... be more rightly social.  I'm... trying to more alive, more right.  It isn't that I don't want to be.  Often, I don't know what to do, these days.  Possibly never did.  As well, I... wasn't ever sure I was welcome to it.  Still, now, I will try.  Harder.  For... what it's worth.  This worked out.  Calling my mother has been working out.  Same with my brother.  Distant, still.  But... working out.

A very good day.  A bit warm out there, but have had much worse.  Running around didn't beat me down, if it did weary me.  A good type.  The type you... I... want, anyway.  I feel like, and did, do a few things.  And, have prepped to get back into cooking, and eating better.  Mostly on the grill.  But cold-cuts will do whenever, even on cheese slices, rather than bread.  Bread ever other, or third, day, cheese the other days.

All good.  All is well.  Live is, maybe, returning.  Oh, I've not been on medicines.  I best check some things.  And I need to get in for a blood test, and to pick up medicines... or check on them.  What a Derp.  What a maroon.  But I try.  And, some days, succeed.  Good afternoon, day, maybe night.  Amen.

Awake and already at it.

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Having feed sorted, to my liking, and in stock, makes the 'morning' much easier.  Whenever that 'morning' does begin.  In this case, it was 13:00, give or take some, nebulous, odious, number of minutes.  Which can't be named.  Because I don't know.  So shut up.  Anyway... up and at it.

It is already 80 out there.  It's sort of an ugly 80.  It feels warmer, and almost sticky?  Humidity is reading 44, so not bad if not great?  I don't know.  It's reading 70 in here, though has been nearly that all night after shutting the windows and doors.  Strange, but all good, too.

Cats, first.  Food and litter, then while tending the ducks, a bucket of fresh water in for them.  Then the ducks.  Oh those are hungry little quackadoodles.  Not so much the adults.  But the still growing, and definitely just started, little ones, eat like a whirlwind.  All good?  I can hope.

Only one drake in that first two batches, of which seven made it... so far.  The rest are hens, one might be a mule... a cross between the indian runners and muscovy.  I won't name those who are about to die.  And he is on the menu.  As is the cross.  They aren't fertile.  I may keep the rest of the hens.  The rest of the younglings are slated for dinner.  That's just the way it works.

I'll get the rabbits shortly.  Two of the waterers were clean empty.  Two which had been changed yesterday.  I'll gladly refill, just thought it was odd.  A few foods were down.  I checked as I was doing the ducks.  Pulled the waterers to be refilled.  As well, I open the bins, and leave them open, if they need food.  So, on my way through, I can just quickly load those up and take just a few waterers with me, knowing already what is needed.  I do that, especially if I know I'm taking a short break after ducks, and not able to push on through.

Overcast.  But is it clouds, or smoky haze?  Perhaps both.  Can't really see the mass all that clearly.  Perhaps thicker smoke, or maybe the smoke is blurring clouds.  Whatever, a bit darker out there.  So I was a bit surprised it was that warm.  All good though.  While the higher heat is trouble, I can handle this weather just fine, nowadays.  I remember when even 80 was brutal, too brutal.  I have acclimated.  It just took... nearly a decade.  It was last year when summers began making sense... mostly.

Have a great one.  If sleeping soon, dream well.  If working, work hard.  If loving?  Get busy.  *grins*  Later.