Awake for a while.

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Since midnight?  Three?  Something.  Just drifting, since then.  Gaming, initially.  Then to making a fatted coffee.  Reading what the internet portends, suggests, or such.  No, not so much the news.  The news doesn't matter.  You are told what you want to hear.  I am not.  They don't dare speak the truth.  If I want the truth, I'll tell you.  Which I do, from time to time.  Hated for it.  All good in my book.

Sleep was good.  Getting cold though.  It's 71 up here, in the front room, in late August?  Strange.  It was 74 near me, 75 elsewise, when I went to bed.  Didn't check when I woke up.  Cool enough to not use ac, if I did use a fan.  Delicious sleep, honestly.  I may go back down in an hour or three, try to just nap, then get a shower and makes some calls, do some business.  It is right between 45 and 46 out there... here as I just start to write.

Midearly afternoon.

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It is 80 out there, last I looked.  Might be well up by now?

I keep making plans, and being totally unable to carry them out.  Tired?  Weary?  Something.  Not exhausted.  Everything else but that.  More as if in an insomniac snap.  I can't quite wake up, or go to sleep.

Shorter days.

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The steak, this time, was excellent.  I was very careful with the time.  It wasn't as thick, or large, as the ribeyes.  So while half was eaten, it was closer to a third of the ribeye by surface volume, and less thick as well.  Still, done correctly, it really was delicious.  Plus, not so rich.  So I cooked it for only five per side, plus time searing the edges.

I love it when it works so well.  The last of the steaks, from the same package/group was not so good.  I was hoping this one would be better.  It looked like a mixed group, not... from the same batch, to be honest.  I wish, now, I could tell the difference.  Then again, I think this is the last of those?  I think so.  They were... edible, even the lessor ones.  Just not superior, as some where of the bunch.

Trash and else out.

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I... remembered.  The tasks, the day.  I really needed to clean the litter boxes.  Yeah, they had gotten terrible.  It's rare, of late.  It is, if nothing else, high summer.  I am, possibly for that reason, burned out.  While I feel good, not too hot mostly, or else?  I... may be burned out on summer.  Though, to be honest?  It feels as if it is already getting cold?  In any case, I am tired.

I would like to figure out how to get more food in my face.  Part of the reason for the recipes.  I really need more food!  I'm not willing to go too far into regular keto, it doesn't work for me.  Lettuce, of some sorts.  I have heard from other carnivores, and carnivore based doctors, and second hand from such, that lettuce would be okay.  The rest?  Pretty much needs to be meat based.  Though, I could try breading, using fried pork rinds?  Something to... add just a bit of crunch to pork chops.  Figure out how to bring burger back in, maybe trying grass fed, finished, beef, local.  Can't trust industrial beef.  Who knows what it is, where it is from, and such.  I don't even trust local beef, completely, either.

Just past midnight.

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Well, when I woke.  A bit of tinkering since.  Decided to kick out a post.

With a fan going only, it stayed cooler up there?  I had a feeling that the ac wasn't needed.  It wasn't.  I initially had difficulty sleeping, too cool even with just a fan.  I really wanted to get up and turn it off, I just couldn't.  One of those nights, no... ability to push out of bed.  REALLY wanted to shut it off.  Simply could not push out.  So, I buried myself into the blankets and, eventually, drifted off.

Recoverd, mostly.

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I really wondered, there for a bit.  Why did it take so long to recover?  I just don't understand.  I just know I no longer need heart medicine.  Or... for the moment.  That was really quite bad.  It felt like dying, and I would know.

I had hoped to get to a few things, but that won't happen.  Still too tired.  My pulse and such have improved.  Even so, I am still so very tired.  Oh, and the weather has cooled.  I think it was just 76 outdoors, when I looked, a bit after 13:00 or 14:00.  With no ac, or fans (even turned off the ceiling fan), it was 71, near me, when I woke shortly after noon, was it?

Up at almost 13:00.

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I turned the ac off last night, and the fans.  All of them.  It was getting cold.  I was freezing when I finally was able to crawl into bed.  When?  Midnight thirty?  No, it was around 03:30.  Give or take up to twenty.  Though probably in the later areas.

Sleep was difficult.  Low bp, being cold.  I set my blankets up, crawled in, shivered like a cold wet small animal until the exhaustion of that dropped me into a deep dark sleep hole.  But it became a wonderful thing.

Still rough.

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Was hoping food, specifically high carb food, would help.  Nope.  BP is up, a bit.  But last time I checked, after sleeping a bit, it was still 100/70.  Very low.  Especially with my moderate norm being around 130-150/80-100, and really in the mid to lower range on that normally.  I have to be careful with medication.  BP was beginning to pick up, so I thought it might be time.  Nope.  Blood sugar was 155 (before the fast food, for no good reason).  Not fasting, either?  After coffee?  I don't think so.  Very strange.

I pulled a few steaks out tonight.  A ribeye and sirloin.  I'll probably have the sirloin first.  Eat what I can.  Probably eat a third, or what of a third I can eat.  I didn't eat fast food because I craved it, I ate it because it felt like seriously low blood sugar.  Unfortunately, you can't eat your way out of a strange sort of overdose.

Something is really off.

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I checked blood sugar.  High?  Whatever.  BP?  Ah, that was it.  it read 86/68, pulse of 77?  Yes.  That is the, and a, problem.  I took medication.  I am not, apparently, eating enough to handle medication.  That bp is what I get when I am in shock, after... severe damage to the body.  Not good.

There is nothing to do to undo it.  It is like when I have accidentally taken too much medication.  Learned, through great pains, not to do that.  Looks like I am in the middle of the new lesson.  Without enough food coming in, don't take medication.  So absolutely miserable.  Not sure I want to try to sleep quite yet though.

Ribs hurt like heck.  Shoulders, muscles, upper body, hurt as well.

On the good side, got the window mostly in.  Finishing touches to be done in a week or so.  Oh, and it was a much better window than I was expecting.  I was told it is a higher end window.  But for the price, I... wasn't... expecting much.  Insiders are able to claim... serious discounts.  All I'll say there.  More than impressed.

As well, while my friend was here today, he checked the dishwasher, which was still leaking.  I didn't do it, as I would have broken the thing.  He suggested that the connecter was not even hand tight?  Oh, I know it was, when I did it.  So... it either self=loosened, or someone else did it.  Since I don't think it could have loosened of it's own accord, I guess someone did loosen it.  Who?  Why?

Well, it is done.  Now to try to level it, then build a cupboard around it, after some number of checks, to make sure it, or nothing attached to it, is leaking.  Bah.

It's a brutal day.  Windy, last I looked, out there, it was just 83?  But it's a dry, warm, strange, windy day.  Gusts, but with wind too.

A shower was taken.  I got fast food, no choice.  I thought the problem, initially, was low blood sugar.  Not sure if higher carb food will help with that, but it has a similar feel to when blood sugar is low.  Tasted like garbage, but was willing to gamble to... check something.  Won't do that again.

Hmm... on to bed, I think.  Oh, it's... not the time listed.  That is when I wrote the first sentence, then my friend arrived.  So I... stored and helped a bit, and watched, learned, listened.  It is now 14:05.  So, not terribly early, if not all that late either.  Pushed through the day, might push another hour or two beyond.  Just a bit more gaming, to... stretch my day.

Good afternoon, evening, day.  Prayers for you.  Goodnight, as well.

The clock is spinning.

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Day has become night.  Up at 19:30, give or take twenty.  It was 74 out there.  With the ac's running, all or part time, I was able to cool, sleep, and when awake do more.  Not perfect, but I may be able to recover.  It had just gotten too warm, for too long.  I needed some cooling.  Got it, getting it.  For as long as I need.

Weight is 118.2 this morning.  Three more pounds and I'll be down an even hundred since Thanksgiving?  Maybe a few months further back?  Something in there?  But, definitely a hundred within the last year.  That's a lot of belly jelly gone.  Blood sugar is 122.  Stupid blood sugar!  Though that is, in theory, the equivalent to an a1c of 5.9.  Or... so the calculator I used suggested.  Hmm, I'll bet there is a formula for that?

A few days of not eating was the problem?

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It looks like it.  Technically, it was one day, but when you count from dinner one afternoon, missing a dinner, then not eating until dinner the next afternoon, that... is two days.  Anyway.  Blood sugar...  Steak tonight, and a fatted coffee.  Just a third of the steak.  But that's good enough.  Blood sugar is 97, down from the mid 120s.  Very happy with that.

I honestly would like to eat more.  I just can't.  I may, the next time I am out, pick up shredded romaine, or a romaine based salad.  Or, maybe even just iceberg lettuce, or mix.  Romaine lettuce doesn't actually add almost anything to the diet, save water.  Same as iceberg.  But, if iceberg is less expensive, that may be worth it.

Wednesday?

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I had every intention of being at a meeting Tuesday night.  I woke up a bit ago.  The meeting was to be in about an hour and a half?  So... I was... going to have to push things a bit.  I got the grill going, for steak.  Set up for a shower.  Weighed myself (119.2, it was water that was collecting, which was adding to my weight).  Did blood sugar, which is 128?  Mid to late afternoon, my blood sugar just naturally runs higher at this time of day, regardless of sleep cycle.  But, still, that is an annoyingly high number for having fasted yesterday.  Very annoying.

Then I notice a text.  My new, right, membership card is in.  And, I was asked to take minutes.  Okay, I can, will, do that.  I shot off a quick gratuity for the offer, and update.  And suggested I would see the man in... less than a few hours, was it?  He... told me that was yesterday.  Bleh.

Just can't eat.

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I may have a fatted coffee.  Then go on to bed.  It should be cool enough upstairs.  I'll find out before long.

Someone knocked on my door, but I was in unmentionables or sich.  So, I went upstairs, put something on, but by the time I checked, they were gone.  Checking with the only one who might be more likely to visit.

Why?

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Didn't wake until noon thirty?  One thirty?  Closer to the latter, or after most likely.  It got down to 70/73 upstairs, so I turned the ac down.  And?  It went right back to where it had been.  Low, on the ac, means it doesn't work.  Doesn't do a damned thing.  Still, I slept well enough.  Just woke up a bit peeved at that.

The why though?  Blood sugar is 112 fasting this morning, and weight is 223.4?  Why!?!  I guess I don't care.  I had an extra fatted coffee last night.  Then again, I figured weight might stall, or reverse, until metabolism catches up.  It just took a while for that hitch to catch.  Now I have to wait.  Which is fine.  I probably couldn't have fasted for much longer.  Haven't pooped in a week.  That'll help.

I almost made it to bed a bit earlier.

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No, that isn't quite right.  I DID make it to bed a bit earlier.  However, it was really warm up there.  Or... to my thinking.  I turned the ac on.  But, then, decided to change my wound dressing.  YOUCH!  I really should have done that in the morning.  It... took... everything out of that wound, down to the meat.

Well, okay.  I thought I could recover.  I put the honey back on, this time not using the liquid type along with gauze.  Oh my word did that hurt.  Feet were beginning to swell, so I added compression socks.  But, yes.  That hurt way too much for me to go on to sleep.  So... until that eases a bit, I am awake.

Awake late.

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I went to bed earlier, say 23:00?  I think.  Doesn't matter.  I just slept longer, and later.  I'll... keep at it.  I think I can do it.  I do.

On the good side?  The scale read 221.6 this morning.  I didn't expect metabolism to pick up for another few days to week, so expected, at best, a slow down in weight loss, or even some gains at worst.  I'll gladly take that.  Further, blood sugar is 94 fasting.  That I hoped to continue it's downward trend.  Carnivore food doesn't spike insulin, or disturb it in any way.  I am well into my new trend to lower official weight.

A bit of good and bad.

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I have tried to call my mother.  She simply isn't answering.  Without being sure her answering service works, I haven't left a message.  Maybe she will see I called, maybe she won't.  Verizon, even V to V, is sketchy about that anymore.  They just don't provide solid service, and that is about as good as it gets.  Quality simply isn't available, at any price, these days.  Not in America.

Blood sugar was checked, three or four hours after dinner?  Two?  Something.  It was 109.  I have had doctors suggest they don't mind blood sugar jumping as much as forty points with a meal, and even more through the day after several meals.  Which... tells me they want people to be diabetic.  They... sell the pills.  I'm not sure how most of them sleep at night.  Probably really comfortably, until they wake up in hell?  Probably.

Difficult to eat.

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I was torn as to whether to try to eat the remainder of the steak, or half of it.  I went with half.  And... can't quite finish that.  So... okay.  I had a fatted coffee a few hours ago.  Fine.  I have eaten and taken in enough fat for things to work.

While I am satisfied, I also understand that, until my body gets caught back up, to some extent, my cravings could hit in an instant.  Not so much for carnivore meals, but for else.  The smells?  When driving by fast food places?  Those are as associated with the addiction to their food as the food itself.  Unfortunately, there isn't a means of blocking that.

Down early, up early.

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Earlier.  Not exactly beating the sun.  Better than it has been.  Down around 03:30?  Up at 11:20, or so.  Not bad.  Did food help?  Maybe.  When not eating, I feel like an old cassette tape, dragging, getting caught on something, or nothing at all?  Though, did food help?  Possibly, with resolved to resist the game.  Or... not.  I never truly know.

Blood sugar is 90, fasting.  And, for the first time I think ever?  The weekly average is below one hundred, at 98!  That is a record low for averages, ever, since becoming diabetic.  Yes, I am excited.  A year of that and I am no longer considered diabetic.  I was wondering what food might do to that.  The right food doesn't do much.  Oh, and weight is 223.6.  The loss has slowed.  It may stop.  It might increase.  That will be a temporary happening, until I get my feet back under me, or my metabolism fires back up.  Still, that is the least I have weighed since before I joined the Navy.  I was 220 when I went in, having played football, basketball, and been in track for my four years of highschool.  Though I got up to 240 in the Navy, through working out, swimming, and eating better.  But, I was in much, much, better shape.  Just a slightly plump old ill guy now.  Meh.  Working on it.

Neither food nor coffee.

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Water, sure.  Dinner was enough.  The rest has been bagged for tomorrow.  I wondered if I would be terribly hungry again, in a hurry.  Not.  Not at all.  The water is more for slight thirst?  Not even that, just... trying to make sure to stay hydrated.  No... serious need, or want.  Just... tending it.

I checked blood sugar again.  I was a bit worried.  It is 89.  That... will do nicely.  If I can keep on the diet, and do intermittent fasting.  Plus longer fasts from time to time, I think this will do nicely.  If I keep blood sugar down, below 100, especially with averages, after a month, I may just stop testing.  If I want to add something in, like more salad, or brocolli, cauliflower, or such, I may check while adding it.  Just to make sure.  As well, check to see if I have any negative reactions.