.
.
I have been playing computer games since graphics were letters and numbers, literally. I like to think of myself as somewhat of a pro. So, here I am, playing my first game on easy. It has been a long time since I gamed and I never liked controllers. I am enjoying the game though. And I am learning how to use a controller. It will take time. One thing about games is they add structure, almost like work, to my days. While I can't focus enough to read, I can figure things out just by doing them. I suppose you could say games are as close to work and study as I can functionally get.
I did have someone recently comment that there are locals who are so into gaming they aren't holding down jobs. I know people like that, but that isn't me. I was out of work, unable to work, long before I ever bought a game machine. I don't think he was talking about me, in a round about way though. He was just suggesting that some people shouldn't sit around playing, after I asked if he knew any other players. If they are young and healthy, I agree. Still, if that is all they do and have managed their lives around it, why waste their talents? Yeah, yeah.
On to bed. I keep pushing my nights further into daytime. I should be able to work things around before long again. Yes, good night and day or something.
Friday, January 6, 2012
Gaming again.
.
.
Oh, I know, playing with toys. It offers no worth, economically. Nor does it, regardless what some doctor of whatever says, make me a bit smarter. It does improve, or maintain, solid hand-eye coordination. What it does do is help me stay awake longer, more easily. The longer I am awake, up to a point, the more chance I have to get to other things. Then again, when I can stay on the medicines most recently prescribed, I am doing much better at having a fuller day. At least I have entertainment I can enjoy. Television and movies? You have no option in how the thing plays out. I like being involved.
I set up just the basic PS3 system. I haven't put the 'move' portion of it together and installed it. One thing at a time. Besides, the first games I am going to play are old standard controller games. As I get better, perhaps on a good day with my work being caught up around the home, on a weekend, I will get to that. For now, I'm still digging my way out. And gaming will help with that.
The first game I am playing is called Dead Space (the first one, I also bought the second one). I actually tried to buy games in collections, which were cheaper in groups then their newest edition. That way I get a bit of the back story (and didn't spend so much up front). Some games don't have a PS3 title, only PS2, which I can't play. I did buy several of the newest (expensive) games. But mostly I stuck with old, cheap, and yet still better than I have ever had games.
I am going to try to make it to Mass tomorrow. No promises. Sleep has been very difficult to manage. I am slowly advancing my bedtime into the day. I wish I could move it faster but that is the way it is. Off the medicines I have zero control regarding sleep. On them, over time, I generally "normalize" to a pretty solid day and night wake and sleep pattern. I'm a silly man, it must seem, from the outside. If you wore my shoes, took on this illness, you would be amazed at how well I run this show with what I have though. I promise you that. You would be in a nursing home, the hospital, or in bed at home waiting to die. I'm not you. Then again, you aren't me. Judge at your leisure, and peril.
Have a good morning. I would try to sleep, here at 2:20, but that simply won't work. I am too awake. I'll have a good morning too, just... in my own weird way.
.
Oh, I know, playing with toys. It offers no worth, economically. Nor does it, regardless what some doctor of whatever says, make me a bit smarter. It does improve, or maintain, solid hand-eye coordination. What it does do is help me stay awake longer, more easily. The longer I am awake, up to a point, the more chance I have to get to other things. Then again, when I can stay on the medicines most recently prescribed, I am doing much better at having a fuller day. At least I have entertainment I can enjoy. Television and movies? You have no option in how the thing plays out. I like being involved.
I set up just the basic PS3 system. I haven't put the 'move' portion of it together and installed it. One thing at a time. Besides, the first games I am going to play are old standard controller games. As I get better, perhaps on a good day with my work being caught up around the home, on a weekend, I will get to that. For now, I'm still digging my way out. And gaming will help with that.
The first game I am playing is called Dead Space (the first one, I also bought the second one). I actually tried to buy games in collections, which were cheaper in groups then their newest edition. That way I get a bit of the back story (and didn't spend so much up front). Some games don't have a PS3 title, only PS2, which I can't play. I did buy several of the newest (expensive) games. But mostly I stuck with old, cheap, and yet still better than I have ever had games.
I am going to try to make it to Mass tomorrow. No promises. Sleep has been very difficult to manage. I am slowly advancing my bedtime into the day. I wish I could move it faster but that is the way it is. Off the medicines I have zero control regarding sleep. On them, over time, I generally "normalize" to a pretty solid day and night wake and sleep pattern. I'm a silly man, it must seem, from the outside. If you wore my shoes, took on this illness, you would be amazed at how well I run this show with what I have though. I promise you that. You would be in a nursing home, the hospital, or in bed at home waiting to die. I'm not you. Then again, you aren't me. Judge at your leisure, and peril.
Have a good morning. I would try to sleep, here at 2:20, but that simply won't work. I am too awake. I'll have a good morning too, just... in my own weird way.
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
Up and at it.
.
.
Moving slowly, I surveyed the doors. My toy was in. I brought it in, plugged in what gets plugged in to charge, and started a blog and news survey. Looks like all my people are still alive, some of them kicking already today. I am just about ready to shower, suit up, and hit the road. I need to call the gym and check about when the membership staff will be able to see me. Then I'll be ready. I should check my mail. Some of the things I ordered came USPS, some of it came to my door.
My friend is waiting. I can only move just so fast. Oh, best chug my potassium and take the rest of my medicine too. I have been doing well that way. Actually, I was doing very good before, until two weeks of fight dreams crushed me physically. I was so absolutely exhausted I could do little. I am back on track. And, it looks as if, when I fall in the future, I have an excellent chance of the fall being rather short. In the middle of winter, with dreams as a huge contributing factor, and only a few weeks after falling, I am back on the rise. I didn't quite lose 'consciousness' either. I was aware. I kept trying to figure out how to rise. And, now, I am doing it (if this is my third or fourth plan off attack).
I hope I can get up to high-functioning soon. There are things I need and want to do. I am not too worried about KoC work, as that is dependent on others and they have been busy with Christmas and New Years. With the parties over it is time to begin work, but they are just getting back to work, so... These things take time. I will do what I can, when I can, how I can, as others and myself are able and willing. I do need to investigate the accident claims at city hall. I need to readjust my day for Mass and swimming and visits to my friend. And I need to bring order back to my home. It will happen.
Oh, I thought I would get involved this year, again, with the primary in Utah. Hmm, it doesn't happen until June 26, 2012. Huh? And Californians are complaining? We are the last primary in the nation. Still, for instate politicians, it might still be worth it. But the decision about the candidate for president will be decided long before we get a chance at that. Yes, yes, I'll still get involved. I'm just a little disappointed. June 26th? ARghrheHGhehgh!
Good day.
.
Moving slowly, I surveyed the doors. My toy was in. I brought it in, plugged in what gets plugged in to charge, and started a blog and news survey. Looks like all my people are still alive, some of them kicking already today. I am just about ready to shower, suit up, and hit the road. I need to call the gym and check about when the membership staff will be able to see me. Then I'll be ready. I should check my mail. Some of the things I ordered came USPS, some of it came to my door.
My friend is waiting. I can only move just so fast. Oh, best chug my potassium and take the rest of my medicine too. I have been doing well that way. Actually, I was doing very good before, until two weeks of fight dreams crushed me physically. I was so absolutely exhausted I could do little. I am back on track. And, it looks as if, when I fall in the future, I have an excellent chance of the fall being rather short. In the middle of winter, with dreams as a huge contributing factor, and only a few weeks after falling, I am back on the rise. I didn't quite lose 'consciousness' either. I was aware. I kept trying to figure out how to rise. And, now, I am doing it (if this is my third or fourth plan off attack).
I hope I can get up to high-functioning soon. There are things I need and want to do. I am not too worried about KoC work, as that is dependent on others and they have been busy with Christmas and New Years. With the parties over it is time to begin work, but they are just getting back to work, so... These things take time. I will do what I can, when I can, how I can, as others and myself are able and willing. I do need to investigate the accident claims at city hall. I need to readjust my day for Mass and swimming and visits to my friend. And I need to bring order back to my home. It will happen.
Oh, I thought I would get involved this year, again, with the primary in Utah. Hmm, it doesn't happen until June 26, 2012. Huh? And Californians are complaining? We are the last primary in the nation. Still, for instate politicians, it might still be worth it. But the decision about the candidate for president will be decided long before we get a chance at that. Yes, yes, I'll still get involved. I'm just a little disappointed. June 26th? ARghrheHGhehgh!
Good day.
Up all night.
.
.
Sleep is a problem. My days and nights have again become confused. I think I will be able to be to bed earlier tonight/this morning though. While 3:30 or 4:00 doesn't seem all that early, it is a comparison game. It beats a bedtime of 6:00 or 8:00. I did most of the dishes, but that was all. It was enough that I feel better. More to do tomorrow.
I called my friend. He wants transportation to do some shopping. Happy to oblige, I will be in tomorrow. My game system is coming, as soon as that arrives and I have it set to charge, I will head into town. I would also like to get started on the club membership. I want that set for as early in the month as possible, so I see the bill right away. I hate mid-month bills.
I have been looking for a swimmers mp3 player. I had never quite considered such a thing until I stumbled upon it. Why though? Because, like it or not, swimming, when you get to level, is boring as crapola. Music adds a bit of spice. A little rock-a-roll-a should help. Boy are they pricey though. Well, in the $150 range. I won't order one until I am sure I am going to be swimming, for sure.
Here is the one I am thinking of the most. There is another. This one is in solid contention. The problem with the second one is it isn't as good for land use, I believe. Further, to use it on land you would need to attach it to a headband or something. The first one is tiny, a quarter would fit over the circle in the center. Pretty pricey for such a small item, and it doesn't come with waterproof headphones, just standard earbuds I believe. Oh, but to beat the boredom, at least initially? Yeah, worthwhile. Maybe in a month or two, if all goes well, and if I see my money coming back into the black. So, actually, it is fantasy for now.
I will also need vision correcting goggles (which are actually rather cheap these days) and perhaps a newfangled towel and mesh knapsack. I wanted a kickboard, but there don't seem to be adult ones readily available. There are shorter fins that supposedly do that as well, but I am unfamiliar with them. Perhaps the pool will offer kickboards though, for now. The first thing I will have to strengthen is my legs. I learned that last time. When the legs are in good enough shape, then the arms aren't overworking. That's a rough thing as arm swimming isn't as good as a good mix and proper proportion of leg and arm swimming.
Well, good night.
.
Sleep is a problem. My days and nights have again become confused. I think I will be able to be to bed earlier tonight/this morning though. While 3:30 or 4:00 doesn't seem all that early, it is a comparison game. It beats a bedtime of 6:00 or 8:00. I did most of the dishes, but that was all. It was enough that I feel better. More to do tomorrow.
I called my friend. He wants transportation to do some shopping. Happy to oblige, I will be in tomorrow. My game system is coming, as soon as that arrives and I have it set to charge, I will head into town. I would also like to get started on the club membership. I want that set for as early in the month as possible, so I see the bill right away. I hate mid-month bills.
I have been looking for a swimmers mp3 player. I had never quite considered such a thing until I stumbled upon it. Why though? Because, like it or not, swimming, when you get to level, is boring as crapola. Music adds a bit of spice. A little rock-a-roll-a should help. Boy are they pricey though. Well, in the $150 range. I won't order one until I am sure I am going to be swimming, for sure.
Here is the one I am thinking of the most. There is another. This one is in solid contention. The problem with the second one is it isn't as good for land use, I believe. Further, to use it on land you would need to attach it to a headband or something. The first one is tiny, a quarter would fit over the circle in the center. Pretty pricey for such a small item, and it doesn't come with waterproof headphones, just standard earbuds I believe. Oh, but to beat the boredom, at least initially? Yeah, worthwhile. Maybe in a month or two, if all goes well, and if I see my money coming back into the black. So, actually, it is fantasy for now.
I will also need vision correcting goggles (which are actually rather cheap these days) and perhaps a newfangled towel and mesh knapsack. I wanted a kickboard, but there don't seem to be adult ones readily available. There are shorter fins that supposedly do that as well, but I am unfamiliar with them. Perhaps the pool will offer kickboards though, for now. The first thing I will have to strengthen is my legs. I learned that last time. When the legs are in good enough shape, then the arms aren't overworking. That's a rough thing as arm swimming isn't as good as a good mix and proper proportion of leg and arm swimming.
Well, good night.
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
Well?
.
.
Well. Indeed. No going out tonight. I did soak a good portion of the dishes, took a shower, then washed one load of dishes. As I went to get more fully prepared to leave I realized that would not happen. There isn't a way for me to get going. I will call my friend and see about a visit tomorrow afternoon or early evening.
I may be able to finish the dishes I have soaking, maybe more. I might dig into laundry. And I have had a nice small meal and hope to have a few more before I sleep. A bit of straightening may happen as well. Nothing fancy, some or all, perhaps nothing. Just a goal with some of it already done. The medicines are beginning to work again but it does take time, more time in winter maybe? On the good side, my eyes are beginning, slowly, to water back up. Yummy.
I sure like my girls. Whether pestering me for food, to be let out, taking turns turning papa into a man-pillow, or fighting for no reason that I can discern, they enrich my little life in ways I can't really describe. By insisting that they are alive and inculcating me into their designs of world domination, I live the more. The loving looks they give me when I pet them and coo sweet nothings about my favors upon them, the affectionate rubbing against my legs, letting me know they are here and care, even their angry actions when they are hungry (or still hungry after being just fed for the "little" one), all keep me more in the here and now. If you don't have pets, think about it. I give them a little bit of me, as God gave to me. We both become a little bit more than we would have been otherwise.
Well, on to... something. Later, maybe good night.
.
Well. Indeed. No going out tonight. I did soak a good portion of the dishes, took a shower, then washed one load of dishes. As I went to get more fully prepared to leave I realized that would not happen. There isn't a way for me to get going. I will call my friend and see about a visit tomorrow afternoon or early evening.
I may be able to finish the dishes I have soaking, maybe more. I might dig into laundry. And I have had a nice small meal and hope to have a few more before I sleep. A bit of straightening may happen as well. Nothing fancy, some or all, perhaps nothing. Just a goal with some of it already done. The medicines are beginning to work again but it does take time, more time in winter maybe? On the good side, my eyes are beginning, slowly, to water back up. Yummy.
I sure like my girls. Whether pestering me for food, to be let out, taking turns turning papa into a man-pillow, or fighting for no reason that I can discern, they enrich my little life in ways I can't really describe. By insisting that they are alive and inculcating me into their designs of world domination, I live the more. The loving looks they give me when I pet them and coo sweet nothings about my favors upon them, the affectionate rubbing against my legs, letting me know they are here and care, even their angry actions when they are hungry (or still hungry after being just fed for the "little" one), all keep me more in the here and now. If you don't have pets, think about it. I give them a little bit of me, as God gave to me. We both become a little bit more than we would have been otherwise.
Well, on to... something. Later, maybe good night.
Hmm.
.
.
It seems when I fall, sometimes I skip hitting bottom and just keep on going. Laugh, damn you. Thankfully, usually I am too out of it to feel the pain. Beyond falling off medicines I had also stopped drinking and eating. I am so extremely dehydrated my eyes hurt, now that I can notice. There isn't enough fluid in my body to normally liquidize my eyes. I am working on both drinking more and taking my pills again, with regular eating as something of a goal more than a practice so far. You have no idea what it is to truly crawl. No worries, it keeps me humble!
I haven't been very active yet. I have a goal of eating a bit more and starting on dishes and laundry today. I note my friend has called twice today, I might head into town if I can get one load of dishes done and another set to soak quickly. I don't actually feel bad, ill, or such, other than my eyes. But then I doubt if I would feel much whether pain should exist or not. I should say my eyes don't hurt, they just get sticky and my vision becomes blurry for that. I do see the way out and up and am taking the necessary steps. And it is working, slowly of course. There is that.
Wintertime is a more difficult time. Given the circumstances I consider myself to be doing well. I know in the fall or winter, actually potentially both times and several times, I will fall harder than usual. This year has actually been one of my easiest initial seasonal falls since before I truly became disablingly ill. I am getting better, vastly better, in the big picture, here and now. Not fast enough to ever escape the black hole of a bad heart, but enough that I might be gaining traction in my personal life. Perhaps up to the point of finding a wife.
Well, I best get on things. Getting to town would be good. Seeing a friend even better. Have a great day.
.
It seems when I fall, sometimes I skip hitting bottom and just keep on going. Laugh, damn you. Thankfully, usually I am too out of it to feel the pain. Beyond falling off medicines I had also stopped drinking and eating. I am so extremely dehydrated my eyes hurt, now that I can notice. There isn't enough fluid in my body to normally liquidize my eyes. I am working on both drinking more and taking my pills again, with regular eating as something of a goal more than a practice so far. You have no idea what it is to truly crawl. No worries, it keeps me humble!
I haven't been very active yet. I have a goal of eating a bit more and starting on dishes and laundry today. I note my friend has called twice today, I might head into town if I can get one load of dishes done and another set to soak quickly. I don't actually feel bad, ill, or such, other than my eyes. But then I doubt if I would feel much whether pain should exist or not. I should say my eyes don't hurt, they just get sticky and my vision becomes blurry for that. I do see the way out and up and am taking the necessary steps. And it is working, slowly of course. There is that.
Wintertime is a more difficult time. Given the circumstances I consider myself to be doing well. I know in the fall or winter, actually potentially both times and several times, I will fall harder than usual. This year has actually been one of my easiest initial seasonal falls since before I truly became disablingly ill. I am getting better, vastly better, in the big picture, here and now. Not fast enough to ever escape the black hole of a bad heart, but enough that I might be gaining traction in my personal life. Perhaps up to the point of finding a wife.
Well, I best get on things. Getting to town would be good. Seeing a friend even better. Have a great day.
Monday, January 2, 2012
Steak?
.
.
Well, not so much steak as a small slab of beef meat. But that is what is for dinner. I have been marinating a number of them and will fry one up. I am exploring very small cuts of meat. These didn't look all that appetizing, thus marination. All of it is experimental. I do need to eat much more frequently and in much smaller amounts. We will see how this goes. Salami and cheese is back on the menu. I need to get the kitchen cleaned up again and make some chili, rice, and beans. If I do the beans first I won't need to clean the pot before doing chili. And if I make enough of a mix of beans, I can keep the canned beans for emergency 'starvation' episodes, or when I am far too tired to tinker.
My game system is finally shipping! It is coming from Arizona so I think it will be a rather short ride, Wednesday at the latest. I purchased extra controllers and plenty of games, along with a few extras. Since my computer broke, the only game I have been able to play is an old Duke Nukem game. Of which, by the way, I am an expert, plus. Some of the games I purchased were games that came out long ago but my computer, not the loaner but mine, couldn't play. Some of them are cheap now, very cheap. They are probably far better than any games I have ever played as for looks, environment, and controls (albeit with a stupid controller mostly). But to be honest? Games are games. There are few that have stood out. Doom, Duke Nukem, and a few others were favored, but more because there were few games like them when they came out. Now? Tons of games, new and old, all somewhat similar. War games, fps, sci-fi, role-playing, and some puzzle games are my favored. Actually, I don't play any other kind of game. I never liked strategy, usually there wasn't really a good way to win and it was always thin, plus I believed the computer usually cheated to it's advantage through knowledge or damage assessments. No, this should be fun! There might be others around town who play too. It would be cool to link up and have some co-op or other multi-player local gaming.
Yeah, I know. I need to get back into things. The medicines seem to be helping, even this shortly back into them. And something I didn't notice has returned. spironolactone was causing me to not function as males should. Odd, in spite of the warnings of many of the medicines I take, none of the others have that affect. I was also surprised that it took so long after not taking it for the effects to wear off. If you have seen Fight Club, you have to remember Bob, from the testicular cancer group? Oh yeah, I feared that. After I found out about spiro, and quit it, I kept checking my chest for about a week. Terrified something untoward (or would that be toward) might be happening. Nope. I can jog safely and swim without onlookers.
Has anyone else noticed how complicated even the simple things in life are? As my game machine is shipping, I am thinking about how to best set up my living room. The coffee table has to be adjusted. Some other things need to be rearranged too, I think. Lots to do. Everything I do for this will affect other things, causing a chain reaction of thoughts and questions concerning placements, aesthetics, function. I never seem able to get everything to work just right, fit right, and stay satisfied. And yet I am not into moving it all around as I know that still won't work. Now, remember, I am just talking about rearranging one room, with relatively few pieces of furniture, for ease of gameplay coupled with humble aesthetics. When it gets to the big things, like the whole house, or more when dealing with people? And, further, when considering God? Yes, complicated. More complicated than I will ever learn to... manage. I think we just survive life, until we don't. :p
Hmm, hungry. And best get my meds down.
.
Well, not so much steak as a small slab of beef meat. But that is what is for dinner. I have been marinating a number of them and will fry one up. I am exploring very small cuts of meat. These didn't look all that appetizing, thus marination. All of it is experimental. I do need to eat much more frequently and in much smaller amounts. We will see how this goes. Salami and cheese is back on the menu. I need to get the kitchen cleaned up again and make some chili, rice, and beans. If I do the beans first I won't need to clean the pot before doing chili. And if I make enough of a mix of beans, I can keep the canned beans for emergency 'starvation' episodes, or when I am far too tired to tinker.
My game system is finally shipping! It is coming from Arizona so I think it will be a rather short ride, Wednesday at the latest. I purchased extra controllers and plenty of games, along with a few extras. Since my computer broke, the only game I have been able to play is an old Duke Nukem game. Of which, by the way, I am an expert, plus. Some of the games I purchased were games that came out long ago but my computer, not the loaner but mine, couldn't play. Some of them are cheap now, very cheap. They are probably far better than any games I have ever played as for looks, environment, and controls (albeit with a stupid controller mostly). But to be honest? Games are games. There are few that have stood out. Doom, Duke Nukem, and a few others were favored, but more because there were few games like them when they came out. Now? Tons of games, new and old, all somewhat similar. War games, fps, sci-fi, role-playing, and some puzzle games are my favored. Actually, I don't play any other kind of game. I never liked strategy, usually there wasn't really a good way to win and it was always thin, plus I believed the computer usually cheated to it's advantage through knowledge or damage assessments. No, this should be fun! There might be others around town who play too. It would be cool to link up and have some co-op or other multi-player local gaming.
Yeah, I know. I need to get back into things. The medicines seem to be helping, even this shortly back into them. And something I didn't notice has returned. spironolactone was causing me to not function as males should. Odd, in spite of the warnings of many of the medicines I take, none of the others have that affect. I was also surprised that it took so long after not taking it for the effects to wear off. If you have seen Fight Club, you have to remember Bob, from the testicular cancer group? Oh yeah, I feared that. After I found out about spiro, and quit it, I kept checking my chest for about a week. Terrified something untoward (or would that be toward) might be happening. Nope. I can jog safely and swim without onlookers.
Has anyone else noticed how complicated even the simple things in life are? As my game machine is shipping, I am thinking about how to best set up my living room. The coffee table has to be adjusted. Some other things need to be rearranged too, I think. Lots to do. Everything I do for this will affect other things, causing a chain reaction of thoughts and questions concerning placements, aesthetics, function. I never seem able to get everything to work just right, fit right, and stay satisfied. And yet I am not into moving it all around as I know that still won't work. Now, remember, I am just talking about rearranging one room, with relatively few pieces of furniture, for ease of gameplay coupled with humble aesthetics. When it gets to the big things, like the whole house, or more when dealing with people? And, further, when considering God? Yes, complicated. More complicated than I will ever learn to... manage. I think we just survive life, until we don't. :p
Hmm, hungry. And best get my meds down.
Sunday, January 1, 2012
While wandering throug the forest, I actually saw the trees!
.
.
This morning, as I was waiting for the right time to get ready for Church, I kept thinking foolish thoughts. Like, 'I have two hours, how about cooking some breakfast?', or, 'I have an hour before Church starts, perhaps I can get on that shower stuff in an half hour?'. No, no, no, no, no! I dodged those bullets. Even so, I barely made it to Church on time. I made it before Mass even started, by a good five to ten minutes! I know there is something about horseshoes and hand grenades, if in this case it would require a holy hand grenade. Never mind.
Something I realized, when I got in my pew, put the knew rest down, and kneeled for my settling in prayer before Mass. Even with a two year hiatus from Church attendance, and despite my fears otherwise, kneeling is no difficulty now at all. In Iowa City I was in such bad shape that, even after missing Church for a month or two, going back in to Mass it would take a month to get used to kneeling again. No back pains, no knee pains, no cramps, nothing. I would sweet bullets when I would kneel in church for nearly that whole month while I was regaining my kneeling skills. Literally, it hurt enough that I would sweet out. I almost passed out a time or two. Further, now, on these medicines and in Utah, I have been going regularly for... five, six... eight? weeks now? I did miss one Sabbath service. Last weekend I think. I had hoped to make it to the one in town and it wasn't operating. I was there, on time, but no one else was there. Still, a very good run for me, and throw in many week day masses to boot.
After Church I did make it in to several stores, filled my gas tank and washed the X. It is an absolutely beautiful day, and dry. I had to take the opportunity afforded me. Who knows how long before the next opportunity and conflux of events would see me to being able to reasonably, safely, wisely, washing her. I picked up a number of foods for small meals. Not too much food, I am going to have to become practiced at small meals again. I also added to my mid and long term larders. Just a bit for now. I need to see where my money is coming and going before I mess with too much more. I will speak with the missionaries and see about getting some assistance with learning to store food, and hands on advice, somewhere after the third of next month. I will draw up a plan this month and be ready. I might even, by then, have more of what I need purchased. There will be room for improvement on my plan, and there are things I just... can't quite do, don't know how to do, don't trust myself to do unsupervised, at least yet. I aim to fix that. And, I will probably be buying bits and pieces throughout the month. I have two thirds of the tp I want, for now. I have 72 rolls in long term, I plan to get another 36 pack. And for typical use, I have 36 rolls for short to medium term. At least with no women folk to attend, 106 rolls, plus my 36 standard rolls, will last me, personally, well over a year. I definitely need to get cans of tuna too. I truly can eat that for a long time. Canned chicken is pretty wretched, but I might lay some of that up anyway. And then maybe assorted canned vegetables and such for medium term use will go in throughout the month, as well as sweeteners. The rest will wait for next payday.
Odd, but I have been freezing in my home lately. So I had the furnace up. When I returned from shopping and Mass though I almost felt like I was cooking when I came indoors. I need to be more active again. Working on that. Yes, today is a rambling day for the blog. I needed it to help keep me up, then get me going.
I am enjoying my new year. You?
.
This morning, as I was waiting for the right time to get ready for Church, I kept thinking foolish thoughts. Like, 'I have two hours, how about cooking some breakfast?', or, 'I have an hour before Church starts, perhaps I can get on that shower stuff in an half hour?'. No, no, no, no, no! I dodged those bullets. Even so, I barely made it to Church on time. I made it before Mass even started, by a good five to ten minutes! I know there is something about horseshoes and hand grenades, if in this case it would require a holy hand grenade. Never mind.
Something I realized, when I got in my pew, put the knew rest down, and kneeled for my settling in prayer before Mass. Even with a two year hiatus from Church attendance, and despite my fears otherwise, kneeling is no difficulty now at all. In Iowa City I was in such bad shape that, even after missing Church for a month or two, going back in to Mass it would take a month to get used to kneeling again. No back pains, no knee pains, no cramps, nothing. I would sweet bullets when I would kneel in church for nearly that whole month while I was regaining my kneeling skills. Literally, it hurt enough that I would sweet out. I almost passed out a time or two. Further, now, on these medicines and in Utah, I have been going regularly for... five, six... eight? weeks now? I did miss one Sabbath service. Last weekend I think. I had hoped to make it to the one in town and it wasn't operating. I was there, on time, but no one else was there. Still, a very good run for me, and throw in many week day masses to boot.
After Church I did make it in to several stores, filled my gas tank and washed the X. It is an absolutely beautiful day, and dry. I had to take the opportunity afforded me. Who knows how long before the next opportunity and conflux of events would see me to being able to reasonably, safely, wisely, washing her. I picked up a number of foods for small meals. Not too much food, I am going to have to become practiced at small meals again. I also added to my mid and long term larders. Just a bit for now. I need to see where my money is coming and going before I mess with too much more. I will speak with the missionaries and see about getting some assistance with learning to store food, and hands on advice, somewhere after the third of next month. I will draw up a plan this month and be ready. I might even, by then, have more of what I need purchased. There will be room for improvement on my plan, and there are things I just... can't quite do, don't know how to do, don't trust myself to do unsupervised, at least yet. I aim to fix that. And, I will probably be buying bits and pieces throughout the month. I have two thirds of the tp I want, for now. I have 72 rolls in long term, I plan to get another 36 pack. And for typical use, I have 36 rolls for short to medium term. At least with no women folk to attend, 106 rolls, plus my 36 standard rolls, will last me, personally, well over a year. I definitely need to get cans of tuna too. I truly can eat that for a long time. Canned chicken is pretty wretched, but I might lay some of that up anyway. And then maybe assorted canned vegetables and such for medium term use will go in throughout the month, as well as sweeteners. The rest will wait for next payday.
Odd, but I have been freezing in my home lately. So I had the furnace up. When I returned from shopping and Mass though I almost felt like I was cooking when I came indoors. I need to be more active again. Working on that. Yes, today is a rambling day for the blog. I needed it to help keep me up, then get me going.
I am enjoying my new year. You?
Crawling out of the pit.
.
.
I sure hate it when I fall. Getting back up, often, is a bear. It starts with realizing I have fallen. While it seems that you would know right away, when your mind falls with you, that just isn't the case. And, lately, I have some mild but disturbing ups and downs so I have never quite been sure when I am down and when I am trying to get up. The stages can be confused, because after falling down and realizing it, the next step is to develop a plan to get up. And much of this last couple of falls and attempts at rising I have had a plan in place. I had to realize my plan(s) were ineffective, not strong or smart enough, or simply not sufficient for some other reason(s), scrap them, then figure out a new plan.
My new plan was discussed recently. Medicines, food, God, in that order I thought. Maybe not if I can make it to Mass today. I finally reset my medicine container. I was not able to focus before now to get that done. I had to take some medicines out, cut them, and put them back in at a lower dose. Oh, and I have quit spironolactone due to the risk of gynecomastia. One of my half-brothers had it in his teens, so I may be at risk (to my mind). It can, in other words, cause man-boobs. Anyway, it is all set up and I took my first dose for some time this morning and am drinking my potassium as I speak. Oh, and speaking of potassium, spironolactone is contraindicted when using potassium. It can be a lethal mix. Some doctors I have. There is a newer drug for my needs, eplerenone, but it increases creatine production, and I am way over the line on that as is. Nope, I think I have to stick, pretty much, with my original treatment plan.
Getting to Mass, then the store, would help greatly. I will be buying foods for small, quick, frequent meals. Right now I am not going to be too particular, though over time I am hoping to set up rice and beans on tap again, and begin having whole grain cereals much more frequently. I need to learn how to cook small portions of meats as well. Three to four ounce portions, along with rice, or beans, or other whole grains, and some vegetables and fruits in there as sides or snacks. I need the Eucharist more though. When I miss it, I starve in a way food cannot lend comfort.
I best get a shower, get dressed and groomed, and hit the road.
.
I sure hate it when I fall. Getting back up, often, is a bear. It starts with realizing I have fallen. While it seems that you would know right away, when your mind falls with you, that just isn't the case. And, lately, I have some mild but disturbing ups and downs so I have never quite been sure when I am down and when I am trying to get up. The stages can be confused, because after falling down and realizing it, the next step is to develop a plan to get up. And much of this last couple of falls and attempts at rising I have had a plan in place. I had to realize my plan(s) were ineffective, not strong or smart enough, or simply not sufficient for some other reason(s), scrap them, then figure out a new plan.
My new plan was discussed recently. Medicines, food, God, in that order I thought. Maybe not if I can make it to Mass today. I finally reset my medicine container. I was not able to focus before now to get that done. I had to take some medicines out, cut them, and put them back in at a lower dose. Oh, and I have quit spironolactone due to the risk of gynecomastia. One of my half-brothers had it in his teens, so I may be at risk (to my mind). It can, in other words, cause man-boobs. Anyway, it is all set up and I took my first dose for some time this morning and am drinking my potassium as I speak. Oh, and speaking of potassium, spironolactone is contraindicted when using potassium. It can be a lethal mix. Some doctors I have. There is a newer drug for my needs, eplerenone, but it increases creatine production, and I am way over the line on that as is. Nope, I think I have to stick, pretty much, with my original treatment plan.
Getting to Mass, then the store, would help greatly. I will be buying foods for small, quick, frequent meals. Right now I am not going to be too particular, though over time I am hoping to set up rice and beans on tap again, and begin having whole grain cereals much more frequently. I need to learn how to cook small portions of meats as well. Three to four ounce portions, along with rice, or beans, or other whole grains, and some vegetables and fruits in there as sides or snacks. I need the Eucharist more though. When I miss it, I starve in a way food cannot lend comfort.
I best get a shower, get dressed and groomed, and hit the road.
Oh, someone supports my notions?
.
.
And it sounds like he is an LEO (law enforcement officer). My notion? To never surrender. There may be times where there honestly isn't a choice. Truly. Or it may seem that way. You might be surprised though. Many people think that having more people or guns at the ready makes them the authority and authorities don't expect hard, fast, furious, feedback. In any case I thought to share this. I think more people, including women, need to understand the rules.
“"Never give in, never give in, never; never; never; never - in nothing, great or small, large or petty - never give in except to convictions of honor and good sense"……..Winston Churchill, Oct 29, 1941
I do not know the author of the following article but he has a point. Surrender is not an option and this article make a good case for that position.
The Phases of Surrender
The first phase of surrender is failing to be armed, trained and committed to fight. We are prepared to surrender when we are unprepared to resist.
The second phase of surrender is failing to be alert. You must see trouble coming in order to have time to respond. The warning may be less than one second but it will be there and it must be recognized and acted upon immediately.
The Third phase of surrender is giving up your weapons.
The last phase of surrender is up to the monsters who have taken control of your life and perhaps the lives of your loved ones. The last phase of surrender is out of your hands.
Click on any of that to read the whole thing. Some of it, such as war time events, may not be interesting to you, or needed. But much of the rest of it might well serve your needs. The blog in which it is contained may also have other bits of interest. Who knows, knowing how to make your own soap, use cooking oils, small ramekins, and a bit of string might allow you to have relatively safe and easy lighting when the electricity goes out. There is much more there, and some things that are well beyond the ken of any I know, and certainly beyond any one man no matter how rich in any case. Still, it is a useful place, even if just for thought.
.
And it sounds like he is an LEO (law enforcement officer). My notion? To never surrender. There may be times where there honestly isn't a choice. Truly. Or it may seem that way. You might be surprised though. Many people think that having more people or guns at the ready makes them the authority and authorities don't expect hard, fast, furious, feedback. In any case I thought to share this. I think more people, including women, need to understand the rules.
“"Never give in, never give in, never; never; never; never - in nothing, great or small, large or petty - never give in except to convictions of honor and good sense"……..Winston Churchill, Oct 29, 1941
I do not know the author of the following article but he has a point. Surrender is not an option and this article make a good case for that position.
The Phases of Surrender
The first phase of surrender is failing to be armed, trained and committed to fight. We are prepared to surrender when we are unprepared to resist.
The second phase of surrender is failing to be alert. You must see trouble coming in order to have time to respond. The warning may be less than one second but it will be there and it must be recognized and acted upon immediately.
The Third phase of surrender is giving up your weapons.
The last phase of surrender is up to the monsters who have taken control of your life and perhaps the lives of your loved ones. The last phase of surrender is out of your hands.
Click on any of that to read the whole thing. Some of it, such as war time events, may not be interesting to you, or needed. But much of the rest of it might well serve your needs. The blog in which it is contained may also have other bits of interest. Who knows, knowing how to make your own soap, use cooking oils, small ramekins, and a bit of string might allow you to have relatively safe and easy lighting when the electricity goes out. There is much more there, and some things that are well beyond the ken of any I know, and certainly beyond any one man no matter how rich in any case. Still, it is a useful place, even if just for thought.
Do you ever feel like a fool?
.
.
Don' even look at me like that, Lucy.
Of course I'm a fool. Not a stupid fool, not a clown fool, not even usually an ignorant fool. I don't even mean socially, though I will take that notion when or if it fits, if you can prove it to my satisfaction. Not being a social climber or embedded into a closed society such as academia, I don't adhere to the notions there so I will be considered foolish since I refuse to wear the 'king with no clothes' ideological vestments that are often seen on display in such circles. No, I just mean that no matter how hard I try, I do fail in logic. Simply, even if the notion of, say, a particularly well worked conspiracy theory is, and even if it is backed with good information and solid logic, and lets say further that the theory is on the right track, without inside information I might well be barking up the tree planted to divert me from the true raison d'être of the group I am espying and theorizing concerning. But it doesn't just have to be conspiracy theories.
Further, my mind takes all known data points and comes to quick conclusions. At least I realize these hasty logic sketches are just that. I don't take them for absolute fact, just a temporary rationalization for my own purposes. Much like an artist who does a sketch merely to rough in an outline for a later painting. We both know the outline is incomplete and incorrect in ways, but is enough to work with. Further, we both know even our finished products will not be perfect. Still, in an absolute world, a world some of my aspect attempts to find, create, associate within, I realize the foolishness of it all, and myself.
A little man who can't even always get out of bed who wishes to live in the ideal? Well, yes. Hush. I suppose I still have enough of Adam's DNA to 'remember' Eden? Though too, I see something interesting. You do realize that, in Adam's time and before the fall, there was dirt, right? Which means fruits would get spotted, there probably were worms in some fruit, vegetables would get old, etc. And yet men once lived in a time where what was... was perfect. They made what we might consider flawed perfect in who they were and how they were. I sometimes see that, even today, in our very imperfect world and our striving for perfection in so many ways. Ask yourself this, what would Adam, before sin, do with a dirty car, house? Or Eve, take your pick. How would they vote? Would there be a need for a vote? Never mind that last question, just think about the others.
Fool? Yes. At times.
Hmm, it is just passing 5:00. I am doing well, so far. I am hoping to stay up for a Sunday Mass! Woot! No guarantees. It's five hours off, I need a shower, I have to stay awake till then, it will be spooky close. How many people are excited to get to go to Church, right through suffering to get there? At least I don't consider that part of my foolish aspect. Anyway, if I make it to Mass, I hope to get to the store. I need a few things and they might have just what I need.
I need to begin eating right again. Small meals, several times a day. I am trying to drink water more than anything else, and so far so good there, surprisingly to me. I will begin taking medicines again this morning (I hope they don't shut me down, though they may until I get used to them again). Like a cat clinging to a branch way above the ground, having just figured out precisely where she is, I am holding on. Unlike the cat, I see a way down... if... I... can... just... pull... my... claws... out! *grins* Well, and pull my courage and will to act forward into the locked and loaded condition. *meow*
Good day.
.
Don' even look at me like that, Lucy.
Of course I'm a fool. Not a stupid fool, not a clown fool, not even usually an ignorant fool. I don't even mean socially, though I will take that notion when or if it fits, if you can prove it to my satisfaction. Not being a social climber or embedded into a closed society such as academia, I don't adhere to the notions there so I will be considered foolish since I refuse to wear the 'king with no clothes' ideological vestments that are often seen on display in such circles. No, I just mean that no matter how hard I try, I do fail in logic. Simply, even if the notion of, say, a particularly well worked conspiracy theory is, and even if it is backed with good information and solid logic, and lets say further that the theory is on the right track, without inside information I might well be barking up the tree planted to divert me from the true raison d'être of the group I am espying and theorizing concerning. But it doesn't just have to be conspiracy theories.
Further, my mind takes all known data points and comes to quick conclusions. At least I realize these hasty logic sketches are just that. I don't take them for absolute fact, just a temporary rationalization for my own purposes. Much like an artist who does a sketch merely to rough in an outline for a later painting. We both know the outline is incomplete and incorrect in ways, but is enough to work with. Further, we both know even our finished products will not be perfect. Still, in an absolute world, a world some of my aspect attempts to find, create, associate within, I realize the foolishness of it all, and myself.
A little man who can't even always get out of bed who wishes to live in the ideal? Well, yes. Hush. I suppose I still have enough of Adam's DNA to 'remember' Eden? Though too, I see something interesting. You do realize that, in Adam's time and before the fall, there was dirt, right? Which means fruits would get spotted, there probably were worms in some fruit, vegetables would get old, etc. And yet men once lived in a time where what was... was perfect. They made what we might consider flawed perfect in who they were and how they were. I sometimes see that, even today, in our very imperfect world and our striving for perfection in so many ways. Ask yourself this, what would Adam, before sin, do with a dirty car, house? Or Eve, take your pick. How would they vote? Would there be a need for a vote? Never mind that last question, just think about the others.
Fool? Yes. At times.
Hmm, it is just passing 5:00. I am doing well, so far. I am hoping to stay up for a Sunday Mass! Woot! No guarantees. It's five hours off, I need a shower, I have to stay awake till then, it will be spooky close. How many people are excited to get to go to Church, right through suffering to get there? At least I don't consider that part of my foolish aspect. Anyway, if I make it to Mass, I hope to get to the store. I need a few things and they might have just what I need.
I need to begin eating right again. Small meals, several times a day. I am trying to drink water more than anything else, and so far so good there, surprisingly to me. I will begin taking medicines again this morning (I hope they don't shut me down, though they may until I get used to them again). Like a cat clinging to a branch way above the ground, having just figured out precisely where she is, I am holding on. Unlike the cat, I see a way down... if... I... can... just... pull... my... claws... out! *grins* Well, and pull my courage and will to act forward into the locked and loaded condition. *meow*
Good day.
Do you have things on your list...
.
.
That you have been a bit afraid to do? Well, being that it's about to be a new year, and that I plan to go less dressed in public soon, I decided to do one of those things on my list. My toenails are ugly and problematic. I have talked to the V.A., and sometimes I have to go in for removal of 'foot barnacles'. I understand, the V.A. really isn't organized around spa type care, it is for serious problems. My barnacles can be serious as they can interfere with living, making walking painful. Still, I have been thinking to use my Dremel on some of my foot problems.
As I said, I was afraid. Oh, sure, I can seem fearless at times. And when looking death in the face, and for the right reasons, I truly can become fearless in order to do my task. But facing off against a papercut, or similar, is whole other ball of wax! No, my friend, some things can do nothing but cause terror to my mind. I feared the Dremel would rip off skin, heat my nails but without giving off a sign until I had a foot afire, or some other devious horror inducing thing. I have been looking online. Occasionally the Dremel would be indicated as a tool for the foot and nails, but little information followed. I looked online, at Amazon, for Dremel pedicure kits. There was some stuff, but nothing that seemed any better than what I have.
So, tonight, I found my Dremel and the parts kit, figured out how to use it again, set it up, sent the cats flying for fear of *buzzzzz* and settled to my task. Not bad. My big toes are so thick they are difficult to trim neatly. I thought I would start with those, to get my bearings and... explore the device in this application. Okay, it evened those right up, taking off the burrs and bumps and sharp edges. I used it to even the rest of the big toe nails, as I get a crease down their centers. All good. No hot foot, none of my other fears came to pass. So, I went to the nail that is like a hunchback. Fungus must be down underneath. I ground it right down. I did cause a pinprick of blood, but it didn't hurt. I figured I had as much off as I can get off for now. Then, just out of curiosity, I began working the 'barnacles'. Wow, that worked quite well also. Though this time I was a little more careful to avoid bleeding. On the side of my toe and the bottom of my foot, I took off between a quarter and an eight of an inch of 'stuff'. While my feet still aren't beauties, they are at least neatened and trimmed. With my big toe nails no longer wicked weapons I have less fear of ripping my legs up at night. I also passed the fear test. And more? I have one less thing on my list. It has been on my list for years. Yeah, I can be slow. Especially when a nearly superstitious fear exists on the topic. Yeah!
I may now try to figure out how to work out the material that seems to be connecting my big toes to the toenail, right up to the edges. I need to scrape that out, with powered tool or not, and begin dealing with the fungus, if that is what it is. That stuff is why I have creases in my nails. It used to be much worse. The arid nature of Utah has fixed it, to this point, but can do no more. The rest is mine to do or not to do. I also noticed my feet are drying and cracking. That is the first time I have noticed that in years. I will begin working on that. I think putting some doctor given stuff on my feet after each swim, then after showering off the bleach, might just fix that and quickly. I know, silly, but if it inspires someone to take fear in hand and move forward on their own little ditty, or offers advice on toenails to someone who could use it, that is what this post is dedicated to.
So, I happily recommend doing one of your fear inducing projects, one that has been languishing in the shadows of your mind for some time. Just do it.
Oh, and Happy New Years!
.
That you have been a bit afraid to do? Well, being that it's about to be a new year, and that I plan to go less dressed in public soon, I decided to do one of those things on my list. My toenails are ugly and problematic. I have talked to the V.A., and sometimes I have to go in for removal of 'foot barnacles'. I understand, the V.A. really isn't organized around spa type care, it is for serious problems. My barnacles can be serious as they can interfere with living, making walking painful. Still, I have been thinking to use my Dremel on some of my foot problems.
As I said, I was afraid. Oh, sure, I can seem fearless at times. And when looking death in the face, and for the right reasons, I truly can become fearless in order to do my task. But facing off against a papercut, or similar, is whole other ball of wax! No, my friend, some things can do nothing but cause terror to my mind. I feared the Dremel would rip off skin, heat my nails but without giving off a sign until I had a foot afire, or some other devious horror inducing thing. I have been looking online. Occasionally the Dremel would be indicated as a tool for the foot and nails, but little information followed. I looked online, at Amazon, for Dremel pedicure kits. There was some stuff, but nothing that seemed any better than what I have.
So, tonight, I found my Dremel and the parts kit, figured out how to use it again, set it up, sent the cats flying for fear of *buzzzzz* and settled to my task. Not bad. My big toes are so thick they are difficult to trim neatly. I thought I would start with those, to get my bearings and... explore the device in this application. Okay, it evened those right up, taking off the burrs and bumps and sharp edges. I used it to even the rest of the big toe nails, as I get a crease down their centers. All good. No hot foot, none of my other fears came to pass. So, I went to the nail that is like a hunchback. Fungus must be down underneath. I ground it right down. I did cause a pinprick of blood, but it didn't hurt. I figured I had as much off as I can get off for now. Then, just out of curiosity, I began working the 'barnacles'. Wow, that worked quite well also. Though this time I was a little more careful to avoid bleeding. On the side of my toe and the bottom of my foot, I took off between a quarter and an eight of an inch of 'stuff'. While my feet still aren't beauties, they are at least neatened and trimmed. With my big toe nails no longer wicked weapons I have less fear of ripping my legs up at night. I also passed the fear test. And more? I have one less thing on my list. It has been on my list for years. Yeah, I can be slow. Especially when a nearly superstitious fear exists on the topic. Yeah!
I may now try to figure out how to work out the material that seems to be connecting my big toes to the toenail, right up to the edges. I need to scrape that out, with powered tool or not, and begin dealing with the fungus, if that is what it is. That stuff is why I have creases in my nails. It used to be much worse. The arid nature of Utah has fixed it, to this point, but can do no more. The rest is mine to do or not to do. I also noticed my feet are drying and cracking. That is the first time I have noticed that in years. I will begin working on that. I think putting some doctor given stuff on my feet after each swim, then after showering off the bleach, might just fix that and quickly. I know, silly, but if it inspires someone to take fear in hand and move forward on their own little ditty, or offers advice on toenails to someone who could use it, that is what this post is dedicated to.
So, I happily recommend doing one of your fear inducing projects, one that has been languishing in the shadows of your mind for some time. Just do it.
Oh, and Happy New Years!
Saturday, December 31, 2011
Up early?
.
.
I tried to catch up on some sleep. It was early dark, I thought. I looked at my watch. I couldn't quite get my brain to work but it looked 'early but not too early'. So, out of bed. I went about my morning, feeding the cats, planning to gather trash and put it out, and thinking about Church. All was good. I was still a bit groggy, so I began my wake-up routine. Blogging... reading and writing, and news. I checked my email on the Bionic. Hmm, what was the day and time? ArghGhgHgh! It was around 18:00 and change, Saturday. I thought I was 6:00 and change Sunday. Never mind.
I do need to reset my medset. All other priorities are behind that. I have fallen off my medicines and it shows. Further, I need to get those diabetes medicines. I will take them for a while, until I can get my sh*t in one sock again, and begin getting back on the bus. Even the back of the bus is better than sitting in the mud and rain. Once I get back on meds I need to begin planning meals, getting back into Mass regularly, and exercising. It isn't a matter of priority so much how things have to work. Much like you can't drink a soda, then open it.
In a response to a comment recently, I noted that I had aggravated a female professor greatly, and that the response was weird. She became intellectually angry and yet socially frisky. Yep, Game. I am a natural gamer. I don't pander, more so in the last few decades than ever before. I also saw this article. I concur completely. I think it plays into a woman's need for drama, emotional highs and lows which sooth or allow her to focus. I just seem to do well, if I don't know how (or always want to) handle it. Young women scare me, when their eyes go all dilated, their skin tone flushes, and their voice changes, I know... And I was just saying something social. Never mind. Just... thinking this "morning".
I keep hoping to hear something from Amazon about the game system. I have some of the accessories I ordered, in spite of them saying my billing procedure wasn't working on the order. That can't be. The whole order was on one debit card. My other debit card doesn't have enough on it to pay for what I have received. I think, simply, that they ran out of some of the things I ordered and had no way to cover for it. Either that or their system is messed up from Christmas overload? ArghGhgHgh!
I like saying argh, by the way. I even enjoy frustration a bit. If you can back out of the frustration, it is often a great funny. Perhaps not when you get a foot caught in a grinder and lose a toe or something. But if you live long enough, I guarantee even the most horrific memories (can, or for me have) become funny. If nothing else, you lived when you really shouldn't have. For me that has been about three quarters of my many adventures. What a gas. If people weren't so sensitive to horror, I would list them. Over a month I might be able to gather most of the things, too. While I don't remember much, these I remember for the most part. They are all I have.
I hope to do just a bit, medicine set, dishes, then go back to bed. I hope to make Mass tomorrow, if I have some doubts. My sleeping habits have gone feral, I have no control and no flexibility to fix or override them, for now. Medicines should help, more so the lower dose on the main troublemaker. It is all good. Make a plan, do what of it you can, then go, go, go. Shhhh, just do!
.
I tried to catch up on some sleep. It was early dark, I thought. I looked at my watch. I couldn't quite get my brain to work but it looked 'early but not too early'. So, out of bed. I went about my morning, feeding the cats, planning to gather trash and put it out, and thinking about Church. All was good. I was still a bit groggy, so I began my wake-up routine. Blogging... reading and writing, and news. I checked my email on the Bionic. Hmm, what was the day and time? ArghGhgHgh! It was around 18:00 and change, Saturday. I thought I was 6:00 and change Sunday. Never mind.
I do need to reset my medset. All other priorities are behind that. I have fallen off my medicines and it shows. Further, I need to get those diabetes medicines. I will take them for a while, until I can get my sh*t in one sock again, and begin getting back on the bus. Even the back of the bus is better than sitting in the mud and rain. Once I get back on meds I need to begin planning meals, getting back into Mass regularly, and exercising. It isn't a matter of priority so much how things have to work. Much like you can't drink a soda, then open it.
In a response to a comment recently, I noted that I had aggravated a female professor greatly, and that the response was weird. She became intellectually angry and yet socially frisky. Yep, Game. I am a natural gamer. I don't pander, more so in the last few decades than ever before. I also saw this article. I concur completely. I think it plays into a woman's need for drama, emotional highs and lows which sooth or allow her to focus. I just seem to do well, if I don't know how (or always want to) handle it. Young women scare me, when their eyes go all dilated, their skin tone flushes, and their voice changes, I know... And I was just saying something social. Never mind. Just... thinking this "morning".
I keep hoping to hear something from Amazon about the game system. I have some of the accessories I ordered, in spite of them saying my billing procedure wasn't working on the order. That can't be. The whole order was on one debit card. My other debit card doesn't have enough on it to pay for what I have received. I think, simply, that they ran out of some of the things I ordered and had no way to cover for it. Either that or their system is messed up from Christmas overload? ArghGhgHgh!
I like saying argh, by the way. I even enjoy frustration a bit. If you can back out of the frustration, it is often a great funny. Perhaps not when you get a foot caught in a grinder and lose a toe or something. But if you live long enough, I guarantee even the most horrific memories (can, or for me have) become funny. If nothing else, you lived when you really shouldn't have. For me that has been about three quarters of my many adventures. What a gas. If people weren't so sensitive to horror, I would list them. Over a month I might be able to gather most of the things, too. While I don't remember much, these I remember for the most part. They are all I have.
I hope to do just a bit, medicine set, dishes, then go back to bed. I hope to make Mass tomorrow, if I have some doubts. My sleeping habits have gone feral, I have no control and no flexibility to fix or override them, for now. Medicines should help, more so the lower dose on the main troublemaker. It is all good. Make a plan, do what of it you can, then go, go, go. Shhhh, just do!
Friday, December 30, 2011
Dinner and a bit of shopping.
.
.
Dinner was a gift from my friend. Both of us enjoy food with no cooking, dishes, and some company from time to time. He decided to go with clamps for his engine turning kit. I'm not sure that will work. Perhaps if a slow pace it taken, perhaps. He seems to be a bit ill. Me too. My diabetes is back, full throttle. I am not sure why he is ill, I just know it though.
Reading one of my blog roll blogs, I chanced upon test results. I decided to take that again. It seems I am still ENTJ. It advised conferring with a "feeling type" when dealing with huma... people. On personal matters. And I do. Among them my mother. She knows these things. It makes sense, and yes, I understand why I have always felt somewhat lonely. Most people don't want you to tell them the truth, they want only to hear what they want to hear. Both people and organizations want you to be on their side, if you are affiliated with them, regardless if they should or shouldn't be supported. Some even take extremely stupid stances in order to see who is a yes-man and who, those like me, tell them in simple terms to "blow". I have no difficulty spouting off or taking a walk from bad practices by people, groups, or organizations.
It seems this makes most people think I am a: know-it-all, blowhard, set-in-my ways guy; that I am aloof and insensitive; and that I am judgmental. While those things really can be seen as true, they couldn't be further from the truth. I do have high standards, and I expect others to tow the line, if not mine then at least theirs, period. I do look at many things, and state things simply and sometimes simply forcefully. Often that is merely a request for support or denial, then an explanation of why what I said is supported or not. Not important, just interesting. While not perfectly, it does allow me some understanding of those who have Aspergers, if to a much lesser degree I think. I do feel, much more, I just don't use it as relational tool, mostly. Emotions are mostly... a non-essential tool used to understand one's decisions or thoughts in the aftermath of events which don't necessarily allow for feeling during the events. Or some such. Though I wouldn't be rid of them I don't give them much weight.
Odd, I just thought, so many people use drugs to feel or experience life then end up feeling nothing. Some of us need very little to dull the pains and such. Emotional fish? :p
I have done something with some of the money I received. I ordered a Playstation 3. Yes, yes, I know. But a computer to play the games I want to play, top notch, cost somewhere between $3k and... well, I have seen $15k machines. They last about three to five years, if you upgrade things from time to time. Then they become paperweights. I still need a computer, a new one, but may have a nearly free one on the way. Never mind the details. It would be fine for emails, blogging, and such... until it becomes a paperweight too. I also ordered some games and extra bits as well. Yeah, I know. But I do need something to engage me, keep me awake, and possibly get me going a bit more.
.
Dinner was a gift from my friend. Both of us enjoy food with no cooking, dishes, and some company from time to time. He decided to go with clamps for his engine turning kit. I'm not sure that will work. Perhaps if a slow pace it taken, perhaps. He seems to be a bit ill. Me too. My diabetes is back, full throttle. I am not sure why he is ill, I just know it though.
Reading one of my blog roll blogs, I chanced upon test results. I decided to take that again. It seems I am still ENTJ. It advised conferring with a "feeling type" when dealing with huma... people. On personal matters. And I do. Among them my mother. She knows these things. It makes sense, and yes, I understand why I have always felt somewhat lonely. Most people don't want you to tell them the truth, they want only to hear what they want to hear. Both people and organizations want you to be on their side, if you are affiliated with them, regardless if they should or shouldn't be supported. Some even take extremely stupid stances in order to see who is a yes-man and who, those like me, tell them in simple terms to "blow". I have no difficulty spouting off or taking a walk from bad practices by people, groups, or organizations.
It seems this makes most people think I am a: know-it-all, blowhard, set-in-my ways guy; that I am aloof and insensitive; and that I am judgmental. While those things really can be seen as true, they couldn't be further from the truth. I do have high standards, and I expect others to tow the line, if not mine then at least theirs, period. I do look at many things, and state things simply and sometimes simply forcefully. Often that is merely a request for support or denial, then an explanation of why what I said is supported or not. Not important, just interesting. While not perfectly, it does allow me some understanding of those who have Aspergers, if to a much lesser degree I think. I do feel, much more, I just don't use it as relational tool, mostly. Emotions are mostly... a non-essential tool used to understand one's decisions or thoughts in the aftermath of events which don't necessarily allow for feeling during the events. Or some such. Though I wouldn't be rid of them I don't give them much weight.
Odd, I just thought, so many people use drugs to feel or experience life then end up feeling nothing. Some of us need very little to dull the pains and such. Emotional fish? :p
I have done something with some of the money I received. I ordered a Playstation 3. Yes, yes, I know. But a computer to play the games I want to play, top notch, cost somewhere between $3k and... well, I have seen $15k machines. They last about three to five years, if you upgrade things from time to time. Then they become paperweights. I still need a computer, a new one, but may have a nearly free one on the way. Never mind the details. It would be fine for emails, blogging, and such... until it becomes a paperweight too. I also ordered some games and extra bits as well. Yeah, I know. But I do need something to engage me, keep me awake, and possibly get me going a bit more.
Up, but late again.
.
.
Oops. I thought it was Saturday! I wondered why I received a call from the V.A. Nothing makes sense until, finally, it does make sense. Does it? Here, some stories I thought interesting. And maybe some quips, wit, thoughts, or such. I'll try to be brief.
Why do I not trust academia? Because I faced hatred from professors (I disavow everything evil they seem to believe in) and cheating on a scale that made my efforts at competition seem quaint. Why work hard when you can make it without work? Because I went there to learn, I suppose. Proof? Here is some proof, from the beginning.
Oh, my, it seems France is cracking down. Then again, you wouldn't want to accidentally become French, would you?
And finally, I found this story to be a delight. It looks like Hungary, for the most part, is taking control and becoming quite libertarian. In so doing, they are scaring the bejesus out of Europe. What if their reforms work! I think the title is wrong, they are widening a rift with socialism, cronyism, and bureaucracy more than differing from the "West". (I don't know what happened, but the story seems to be disappearing?)
Hmm, I have some things to do. Shoo! Later.
.
Oops. I thought it was Saturday! I wondered why I received a call from the V.A. Nothing makes sense until, finally, it does make sense. Does it? Here, some stories I thought interesting. And maybe some quips, wit, thoughts, or such. I'll try to be brief.
Why do I not trust academia? Because I faced hatred from professors (I disavow everything evil they seem to believe in) and cheating on a scale that made my efforts at competition seem quaint. Why work hard when you can make it without work? Because I went there to learn, I suppose. Proof? Here is some proof, from the beginning.
Oh, my, it seems France is cracking down. Then again, you wouldn't want to accidentally become French, would you?
And finally, I found this story to be a delight. It looks like Hungary, for the most part, is taking control and becoming quite libertarian. In so doing, they are scaring the bejesus out of Europe. What if their reforms work! I think the title is wrong, they are widening a rift with socialism, cronyism, and bureaucracy more than differing from the "West". (I don't know what happened, but the story seems to be disappearing?)
Hmm, I have some things to do. Shoo! Later.
Thursday, December 29, 2011
Still awake.
.
.
I may sleep very well tonight, or not at all again. Never mind all that, I found some interesting links.
Do any of you cook with alcohol? Did you think all or a very high percentage of it cooked out? Not so much. Then again, if your take on the consumption of alcohol is that moderation is the key, perhaps like me you don't mind all that much?
I see I am not the only cranky critter. Sometimes you just have to have some peace and quiet... and a new toy. Plus the look on people's faces can be half the fun!
Who cares about what experts think of the snowfall. Ski resorts are sweating bullets, us peons are quite pleased. WE WIN! For now anyway. While I honestly love snow I am not in any condition do deal with it. So, I'm good with the bad for now.
With two womenfolk, of the feline variety, overrunning my home... And as cute as puppies are. And how they could change the dynamics. I think I need puppies!
On some things, one could almost dream. Unfortunately, I think it is just delusions of... well, just delusions. What he really needs isn't cancer. It's a frontal lobotomy. It would calm his nerves as well. Then again, I almost wonder if he hasn't already had brain surgery of some kind or other. Perhaps he had his soul removed.
Just follow these suggestions for added internet security. I don't often curse, not really my style. And I dislike abbreviations, more so when they invoke certain words. But after reading that, as a somewhat seasoned user... WTF? Just sayin'.
Good night, I hope.
.
I may sleep very well tonight, or not at all again. Never mind all that, I found some interesting links.
Do any of you cook with alcohol? Did you think all or a very high percentage of it cooked out? Not so much. Then again, if your take on the consumption of alcohol is that moderation is the key, perhaps like me you don't mind all that much?
I see I am not the only cranky critter. Sometimes you just have to have some peace and quiet... and a new toy. Plus the look on people's faces can be half the fun!
Who cares about what experts think of the snowfall. Ski resorts are sweating bullets, us peons are quite pleased. WE WIN! For now anyway. While I honestly love snow I am not in any condition do deal with it. So, I'm good with the bad for now.
With two womenfolk, of the feline variety, overrunning my home... And as cute as puppies are. And how they could change the dynamics. I think I need puppies!
On some things, one could almost dream. Unfortunately, I think it is just delusions of... well, just delusions. What he really needs isn't cancer. It's a frontal lobotomy. It would calm his nerves as well. Then again, I almost wonder if he hasn't already had brain surgery of some kind or other. Perhaps he had his soul removed.
Just follow these suggestions for added internet security. I don't often curse, not really my style. And I dislike abbreviations, more so when they invoke certain words. But after reading that, as a somewhat seasoned user... WTF? Just sayin'.
Good night, I hope.
What a wretched horrible wonderful day.
.
.
Huh?
You read me right. I did make it to my appointment. I did not sleep more than a few hours last night. When speaking with my mother yesterday I asked that, if she was awake early this morning, she call me to try and help me wake up. I set all three of my alarm clocks too. It took every ounce of everything I had to be up in time and then I was only 15 minutes early. I had to focus like a hawk and still missed the turnoff, but saw that I missed it this time and circled back. It almost looks like the area around the turnoff to the clinic has changed, as it just isn't recognizable. Either that or it has simply been too long of a time since I went there.
I had one of my best days there at the clinic. Not that my health is looking up. Blood pressure was 140's/80's, give or take. But diabetes might be back on the rise (which means I really need to kick my new/old diet back into high gear). The nurse and the doctor both seemed reasonable. No yelling, no drama, no weirdness. I only holler when I am being yelled at while being ordered to do things I can't do. Oh, even fully dressed, my weight was 284 (so that is coming down). I may have to try to drink water almost exclusively, with only a glass of milk a day (32 ounces though) and one sports drink a day (which is the only thing with which I can choke down the powder potassium, the pill form is impossible every way I have tried it). It was the attitude and friendliness that... took me back. It was like going in to see one's old time family doc, at his office.
After the doctor I went to the DWR Regional Office. I can't get a lifetime fishing license it seems. You have to be blind, in a wheel chair, missing a limb, or otherwise unable to fish to get it! They had a veterans special, $21 a year, the usual is $26. I wouldn't be buying one now in any case. He seemed rather surly about it all, the guy behind the desk. Why do people have to be so snotty about it? I was simply asking.
Next I went to the National Park there in Ogden. They were able to offer me the card that allows me to go into National Parks and some other places free of charge. It was quick and painless. I don't know, but I didn't feel welcome there either. I suppose, with all my arms and legs, people wonder why I should be getting disability? That is the place with the nice restaurant. I stopped in there and had a truly fine meal. There is not a thing they serve that doesn't taste like it was very carefully put together, cooked very well, and well taste tested before being served. Even their tea, unsweetened as that is the way for now on again, was a splendid delight. It cost no more than an Arbeys' meal, either. I had hoped to stop at the hospital in Logan to deal with the collection action by them against me but there was nothing left with which to do that. I was simply done after what I did, and the circumstances.
So, what is the "wretched", the "horrible"? Several times through the day, when I had to stand for a bit, I nearly passed out. Getting up and going was as difficult as one could imagine. My eyes are burning, my body hurts, I am tired beyond reason, but worse... at times I am grumpy. Oh, sure, you read here so you know me! Truth is, I try my darnedest to be kind in real interactions, even gentle. Doctors can get under my skin, same with some other professional types (though I count that as business and business can be rough), but only when they try to tell me what I know to be true is false or some such. Don't blow smoke up my ass because you have a degree. If you were taught something and I am experiencing something different, do not be quarrelsome. You lose any respect I might have had and the immaturity you show will only garner my disdain, regardless of how many degrees or years in college or your profession you have. And I WILL voice it. But to the working men and women of the world? I have only the deepest respect. Save on the road where... I can be a bit... tight, terse, impatient (praying and working on that though). Anyway, I have been somewhat unkind these last few days and that bothers me more than all the rest. Now you really do know more.
I have some visitors coming shortly. And I am going to try to last as long into the day, evening, as I can before sleeping. The drive was gorgeous though. The weather is rather warm, into the 40's I think. Clouds and sun are taking turns at dominance, and as the clouds spill over the mountains and the sun variously back-lighting this group or shining on this part or that of the mountains, the views have been a weather watcher and nature lover's dream.
Have a great day.
.
Huh?
You read me right. I did make it to my appointment. I did not sleep more than a few hours last night. When speaking with my mother yesterday I asked that, if she was awake early this morning, she call me to try and help me wake up. I set all three of my alarm clocks too. It took every ounce of everything I had to be up in time and then I was only 15 minutes early. I had to focus like a hawk and still missed the turnoff, but saw that I missed it this time and circled back. It almost looks like the area around the turnoff to the clinic has changed, as it just isn't recognizable. Either that or it has simply been too long of a time since I went there.
I had one of my best days there at the clinic. Not that my health is looking up. Blood pressure was 140's/80's, give or take. But diabetes might be back on the rise (which means I really need to kick my new/old diet back into high gear). The nurse and the doctor both seemed reasonable. No yelling, no drama, no weirdness. I only holler when I am being yelled at while being ordered to do things I can't do. Oh, even fully dressed, my weight was 284 (so that is coming down). I may have to try to drink water almost exclusively, with only a glass of milk a day (32 ounces though) and one sports drink a day (which is the only thing with which I can choke down the powder potassium, the pill form is impossible every way I have tried it). It was the attitude and friendliness that... took me back. It was like going in to see one's old time family doc, at his office.
After the doctor I went to the DWR Regional Office. I can't get a lifetime fishing license it seems. You have to be blind, in a wheel chair, missing a limb, or otherwise unable to fish to get it! They had a veterans special, $21 a year, the usual is $26. I wouldn't be buying one now in any case. He seemed rather surly about it all, the guy behind the desk. Why do people have to be so snotty about it? I was simply asking.
Next I went to the National Park there in Ogden. They were able to offer me the card that allows me to go into National Parks and some other places free of charge. It was quick and painless. I don't know, but I didn't feel welcome there either. I suppose, with all my arms and legs, people wonder why I should be getting disability? That is the place with the nice restaurant. I stopped in there and had a truly fine meal. There is not a thing they serve that doesn't taste like it was very carefully put together, cooked very well, and well taste tested before being served. Even their tea, unsweetened as that is the way for now on again, was a splendid delight. It cost no more than an Arbeys' meal, either. I had hoped to stop at the hospital in Logan to deal with the collection action by them against me but there was nothing left with which to do that. I was simply done after what I did, and the circumstances.
So, what is the "wretched", the "horrible"? Several times through the day, when I had to stand for a bit, I nearly passed out. Getting up and going was as difficult as one could imagine. My eyes are burning, my body hurts, I am tired beyond reason, but worse... at times I am grumpy. Oh, sure, you read here so you know me! Truth is, I try my darnedest to be kind in real interactions, even gentle. Doctors can get under my skin, same with some other professional types (though I count that as business and business can be rough), but only when they try to tell me what I know to be true is false or some such. Don't blow smoke up my ass because you have a degree. If you were taught something and I am experiencing something different, do not be quarrelsome. You lose any respect I might have had and the immaturity you show will only garner my disdain, regardless of how many degrees or years in college or your profession you have. And I WILL voice it. But to the working men and women of the world? I have only the deepest respect. Save on the road where... I can be a bit... tight, terse, impatient (praying and working on that though). Anyway, I have been somewhat unkind these last few days and that bothers me more than all the rest. Now you really do know more.
I have some visitors coming shortly. And I am going to try to last as long into the day, evening, as I can before sleeping. The drive was gorgeous though. The weather is rather warm, into the 40's I think. Clouds and sun are taking turns at dominance, and as the clouds spill over the mountains and the sun variously back-lighting this group or shining on this part or that of the mountains, the views have been a weather watcher and nature lover's dream.
Have a great day.
Wednesday, December 28, 2011
Okay, so some things take time.
.
.
While being 100%, permanent and total, service connected, honorable, disabled from the service has it's down sides, I have been ignoring the perks (so says a sheet the V.A. just sent me). In Utah, there are state day passes, or something. I think I have to fill out a form (which I can find but my printer is not working), send that with proof of eligibility, then wait. I'll do that soon, I'm sure. But there are things that I might be able to get. Perhaps a lifetime fishing license. That may seem silly, but, every time I buy a year pass I end up never quite getting around to it that year. Then when I do get around to it... the pass has expired. Yeah, I will try for that. As well, there is a pass for veterans that is quite handy at National Parks and other areas. I think it reduces the entrance fees to zero for me and any in my vehicle. It might have other uses inside the parks, but that will be partial and hit or miss at that. Both of those could come in quite handy. The other I would like to apply for this coming year. I may never use them. But the chances increase greatly should I have them in my paws (and let people know).
I am hoping, if I can make it to my appointment tomorrow, to make the rounds and apply for those things on my way back. Both the fishing license and the National Parks pass can be had in Ogden, one is on my way exactly pretty much, the other is no more than seven to ten blocks off my path, and I know that way. Plus the one that is off the path has a rather nice diner, verging on fine dining but on a nickle not a quarter.
If I get the fishing license, I may try my hand at ice fishing, should the ice be well thick enough. One of my fellow KoC members, who joined with me, does that. Perhaps he wouldn't mind a noob tagging along once in a while. As for the parks? I do have some plans. In time I would like to begin exploring them, looking for places to take guests, friends, neighbors. Something to just get out of the house and see new and wonderful places (or, get out of work!).
It has only taken me 20 years to finally be using some of the benefits. Then again, early on, actually until recently, I really didn't have a way to get to any of this. And, too, I kept thinking I could beat the disability. I kept hoping I could find the way out, the way up, in spite of the severity. I still haven't given up, I just thought it might be nice to get these things while I wait for the miracle. Perhaps that would be part of the miracle? Yeah, fine, I'm a dreamer.
Good night.
.
While being 100%, permanent and total, service connected, honorable, disabled from the service has it's down sides, I have been ignoring the perks (so says a sheet the V.A. just sent me). In Utah, there are state day passes, or something. I think I have to fill out a form (which I can find but my printer is not working), send that with proof of eligibility, then wait. I'll do that soon, I'm sure. But there are things that I might be able to get. Perhaps a lifetime fishing license. That may seem silly, but, every time I buy a year pass I end up never quite getting around to it that year. Then when I do get around to it... the pass has expired. Yeah, I will try for that. As well, there is a pass for veterans that is quite handy at National Parks and other areas. I think it reduces the entrance fees to zero for me and any in my vehicle. It might have other uses inside the parks, but that will be partial and hit or miss at that. Both of those could come in quite handy. The other I would like to apply for this coming year. I may never use them. But the chances increase greatly should I have them in my paws (and let people know).
I am hoping, if I can make it to my appointment tomorrow, to make the rounds and apply for those things on my way back. Both the fishing license and the National Parks pass can be had in Ogden, one is on my way exactly pretty much, the other is no more than seven to ten blocks off my path, and I know that way. Plus the one that is off the path has a rather nice diner, verging on fine dining but on a nickle not a quarter.
If I get the fishing license, I may try my hand at ice fishing, should the ice be well thick enough. One of my fellow KoC members, who joined with me, does that. Perhaps he wouldn't mind a noob tagging along once in a while. As for the parks? I do have some plans. In time I would like to begin exploring them, looking for places to take guests, friends, neighbors. Something to just get out of the house and see new and wonderful places (or, get out of work!).
It has only taken me 20 years to finally be using some of the benefits. Then again, early on, actually until recently, I really didn't have a way to get to any of this. And, too, I kept thinking I could beat the disability. I kept hoping I could find the way out, the way up, in spite of the severity. I still haven't given up, I just thought it might be nice to get these things while I wait for the miracle. Perhaps that would be part of the miracle? Yeah, fine, I'm a dreamer.
Good night.
Late is the hour.
.
.
Well, late to the appointment. Traffic was just being stupid today. It really does seem that when I have an hour to burn, slow traffic stays in the slow lane or gets out of the way. When I am on the edge, they pile in all lanes and slow all traffic. Today was no different. The doctor had no other time to see me. We rescheduled for tomorrow morning at 9:00. Then again, he wanted a resting fast for the blood draw anyway. So be it. I don't know how I will be up and out by then, I don't. But, that is what I have before me.
I stopped at Sears to pay off my card. Guess what? No Sears, the store is gone. I will just have to do a one-time bank payment. I decided, if I was going to do that with Sears, I would do it with my other accounts to be paid off. It was too late to stop at the hospital to begin gnawing on some accountant's ear, hopefully I can do that tomorrow on the way back. I did stop at the gym. It looks right. I like what they have. And there are a few places that are quieter to work, should I work my way to machines as an intermediary or winter workout center, even during rush hours. I was there at their rush hour start, not bad even then. There are free swimming lessons, and other classes too I think, with the membership. I don't know if I would use them, at least right away. I need to beat the rust off first. I will be joining Monday.
I think, by pushing to get out, and having some problems, nothing made sense to me today. I missed the turnoff into the clinic (though I was already too late by that time). I couldn't make sense of my map. I couldn't tell time well. It was sort of a rough day. Never mind all that though. It was a gorgeous drive. It was a beautiful day to be alive. Even ugly women seemed kind, strangers seemed friendly in a genuine way, people were polite. Shoot me now!
Hush.
I will see what I might do yet today. The bills, I would like to get them paid. Dishes perhaps. Maybe a bit of laundry. I don't know. I still am a bit confused, as if I had been dazed by a glancing blow. Maybe I will just seek my piano lesson book. I still remembered having a rather gifted piano instructor telling me in almost a gasp that my fingers, my style, amazed her. That I was a natural. And that she wished she had found me as a child. I almost thought to ask if still being a big baby counted, but she seemed so intent. I didn't want to break the moment. I just giggled like a boy after passing gas in a bathtub, but just in my mind.
Later.
.
Well, late to the appointment. Traffic was just being stupid today. It really does seem that when I have an hour to burn, slow traffic stays in the slow lane or gets out of the way. When I am on the edge, they pile in all lanes and slow all traffic. Today was no different. The doctor had no other time to see me. We rescheduled for tomorrow morning at 9:00. Then again, he wanted a resting fast for the blood draw anyway. So be it. I don't know how I will be up and out by then, I don't. But, that is what I have before me.
I stopped at Sears to pay off my card. Guess what? No Sears, the store is gone. I will just have to do a one-time bank payment. I decided, if I was going to do that with Sears, I would do it with my other accounts to be paid off. It was too late to stop at the hospital to begin gnawing on some accountant's ear, hopefully I can do that tomorrow on the way back. I did stop at the gym. It looks right. I like what they have. And there are a few places that are quieter to work, should I work my way to machines as an intermediary or winter workout center, even during rush hours. I was there at their rush hour start, not bad even then. There are free swimming lessons, and other classes too I think, with the membership. I don't know if I would use them, at least right away. I need to beat the rust off first. I will be joining Monday.
I think, by pushing to get out, and having some problems, nothing made sense to me today. I missed the turnoff into the clinic (though I was already too late by that time). I couldn't make sense of my map. I couldn't tell time well. It was sort of a rough day. Never mind all that though. It was a gorgeous drive. It was a beautiful day to be alive. Even ugly women seemed kind, strangers seemed friendly in a genuine way, people were polite. Shoot me now!
Hush.
I will see what I might do yet today. The bills, I would like to get them paid. Dishes perhaps. Maybe a bit of laundry. I don't know. I still am a bit confused, as if I had been dazed by a glancing blow. Maybe I will just seek my piano lesson book. I still remembered having a rather gifted piano instructor telling me in almost a gasp that my fingers, my style, amazed her. That I was a natural. And that she wished she had found me as a child. I almost thought to ask if still being a big baby counted, but she seemed so intent. I didn't want to break the moment. I just giggled like a boy after passing gas in a bathtub, but just in my mind.
Later.
Rough!
.
.
I have an appointment to get to. Fine. I went to bed when I could. This is the earliest I have been awake in a week, I think, give or take. I need to get a shower and get on the road.
I have been dreaming again, but this time just odd little dreams. The last one I remember had an announcer, there is a better term for it but I just can't recall it. As the dream moved along, he was talking about the past, tying it into the present, and predicting the future (of the dream). Which was fine for a while, but I kept having to correct him, in a sort of Monty Pythonish way. He became annoyed and threatened to quit. I just suggested he quit being poetic and stick to the truth. The dream went on and the announcer stuck to the truth. *grins* I don't think that was how the dream was supposed to go, but you know me.
Hopefully, on the way back through town, I will be paying off those bills. Oh, I finally found out what is showing up as a problem on my credit report. A medical bill from the local hospital. I need to go in and talk to them. After having been seen there three times, and two of those times the bill being paid by the V.A. without me being involved, why they did not bill the third one to the V.A. I cannot say. Needless to say I am more than slightly put out.
When I speak to whomever, I will indicate that they should have known. That now that the bill has gone to the collection agency, they will now not even get the full amount of whatever the V.A. offers them, and that in these tight times their boss might not appreciate the incongruity and loss of income generated by their lousy bookkeeping. If they don't fix it I am going to begin calling: Veterans groups; the V.A.; blogging naming names; and contacting their boss(es) up their chain of command until I get positive traction (at running them over). If they don't fix it, retract the the black mark on my credit report(s), and offer an apology, I am going to make this very hard on them. Their job is on the line a lot more than my financial butt is. Who says war is always just pure combat. Personally, I hope someone does get fired. That is pure incompetence. It isn't my call though.
Hey, I best get going. Have a good day.
.
I have an appointment to get to. Fine. I went to bed when I could. This is the earliest I have been awake in a week, I think, give or take. I need to get a shower and get on the road.
I have been dreaming again, but this time just odd little dreams. The last one I remember had an announcer, there is a better term for it but I just can't recall it. As the dream moved along, he was talking about the past, tying it into the present, and predicting the future (of the dream). Which was fine for a while, but I kept having to correct him, in a sort of Monty Pythonish way. He became annoyed and threatened to quit. I just suggested he quit being poetic and stick to the truth. The dream went on and the announcer stuck to the truth. *grins* I don't think that was how the dream was supposed to go, but you know me.
Hopefully, on the way back through town, I will be paying off those bills. Oh, I finally found out what is showing up as a problem on my credit report. A medical bill from the local hospital. I need to go in and talk to them. After having been seen there three times, and two of those times the bill being paid by the V.A. without me being involved, why they did not bill the third one to the V.A. I cannot say. Needless to say I am more than slightly put out.
When I speak to whomever, I will indicate that they should have known. That now that the bill has gone to the collection agency, they will now not even get the full amount of whatever the V.A. offers them, and that in these tight times their boss might not appreciate the incongruity and loss of income generated by their lousy bookkeeping. If they don't fix it I am going to begin calling: Veterans groups; the V.A.; blogging naming names; and contacting their boss(es) up their chain of command until I get positive traction (at running them over). If they don't fix it, retract the the black mark on my credit report(s), and offer an apology, I am going to make this very hard on them. Their job is on the line a lot more than my financial butt is. Who says war is always just pure combat. Personally, I hope someone does get fired. That is pure incompetence. It isn't my call though.
Hey, I best get going. Have a good day.
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