A good start.

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Okay, chicken soup will take what beef soup won't.  The spices were fantastic in this, and some heat too.  A bit of scotch bonnet and chipotle, along with ground coriander, as well as what was already in.  Stuffed, as if I ate half a turkey, and trimmings.  Warm as well.  That was some fine vittles.  No bread this time, though I may make keto bread next time.  Still looking for a coconut flower one.  They aren't exactly interchangeable, coconut flour takes a lot more moisture so you use about a third and add more moisture to boot... plus, often, let it rest so as to absorb all that moisture.

Oh... someone thinks they are funny.  Rolling a 300, I see.  *wink*  Wow, I... never knew.  Are they calling me this, that, or the Coyote?  Or... is there a difference?  *grins*

A bit rough going down.

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A bit rough getting up.  But... just.  An edge, not a full blown body, head, and organ ache.  Just... enough to know I am alive.  Legs are slightly swollen in spite of drinking much less.  It may be that I drink a lot all at once, then don't drink for hours.  A strange habit of late, usually filled with kefir.  But I have been out of kefir, or down to the 'seed stock', which I wasn't willing to consume.  It takes a long time to get those cultures going!

I checked the kefir bottles tonight.  One was ready to top off and put in the fridge.  That bit of milk keeps the whey (watery stuff) from separating, and give the kefir food while in the fridge... as I wait to put it up until it is at peak kefir'ing.  It, without a bit more milk, has nowhere to go.  Even so, with the milk in, fresh, it needs a few days to be ready.

With five bottles, I am going to be cautious.  And I am going to try a different sort of rotation.  Rather than drinking it down to a third, I will drink it to half, fill it to two thirds while letting it sit out and kefir (which should take much less time), then top it and put it back in the queue.  It makes the kefiring process much faster, keeps more in the lineup (for those heavy days, when two or three cups simply isn't enough), and... some other things.  It's a matter of keeping up on milk.  I am trying to cut my kefiraholism, but... for now... I'll consume nearly at will.

I never did make another even small pan of soup.  That is going as I speak.  Actually, finished, just cooling.  When I put in fresh vegetables, I simmer for fifteen, then let cool for another fifteen.  This time I added... questionable spices.  Spices and herbs which didn't work so well with the beef stew.  This, being chicken, there is some hope.  It sure smells good.

Oh, and the salsa to which was added a tablespoon of whey?  Oh, wow.  That was sort of dry.  there was juice, but... dryish.  It is out of season, and they use what they have, etc.  But now?  That is absolutely the juiciest, spit developing, stuff I have had since last I had it fresh.  Oh, my, word.  That is excellent.  I will be making scrambled eggs, or an egg casserole, later... almost just for that.  Now, I burp it twice or three times a day, letting it breath.  And I am adding another tablespoon of live stuff per day.  I will, in the future, transfer it out of the plastic tub and into a glass canning jar, a pint one, without an airtight lid.  Oh, yes, that was absolutely superior.

Ducks are in.  The rabbits are still drinking so I left them to it.  Laundry to be washed has been collected from upstairs and down, and is ready for another load or two.  A shower shortly, again, and dishes at least set up and the counter cleared again.  Hopefully another load of dishes or two. to that counter.  Food, as discussed.  Litter was handled before bed.  Hmm, best feed the girls and then... take a bit of a break to finish waking and catch my breath.  It actually has already been a busy "morning".  Oh, and trash.  That... has to be collected, and more, and to the curb.  I don't think it is recycling, yet, but... that is coming.

Later.

Still up.

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I just got to chores.  Plus feeding the girls and tending their litter.  Moving so slow.  Haven't had soup, and I am really hungry.  Mostly of mind.  Blood sugar has dropped.  For the first time it is below 250, at 129 say four or five hours after my last nibble.  Ah, but no tea.  I have been sweetening it a lot lately.  Right, but I think it was eating bread that was causing the problem.  Someone reminded me of a fix for that.

Nearly noon?

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I don't get it.  Yesterday I crashed so hard, five hours ago, that I couldn't remember... almost anything.  It was only a few tips that allowed me to figure out the time.  Today I'm going to hit noon and keep on going.  More because I can't sleep than a will or odd requirement to be awake.  I just doesn't make sense.  Blood sugar was similar.  All else is about exactly the same.

A shower, since I am going to be awake.  Or for at least another half hour.  If I can get to sleep after that, I will.  I will give it a shot.  Hair has to be dry enough first.  Though, if I feel then like I do now, maybe not.  It has warmed up out there.  The only dip in temps around here, that I saw, was a night or two ago it dipped to 15 F.  It has been back to 24 to a somehow thawing 30.  No complaint, just noting.  I think it has been warmer than usual.  I think so.

Oh, I do want a bit of soup before bed.  Just a touch though, not a whole pot.  Oh, and I best pull a few other meats out for the week... a pack of bratwursts, a pork roast, and... actually that might be quite enough, the way I do things lately.  Brats would be two to three meals, and the roast?  I would have a few meals of chunks of meat, but much would be shredded and used even in with the soup, but with other things as well... warmed and put on a salad... perhaps some sort of keto taco?  That would be good.

The sun is in and out, or... so it seems from where I am sitting and from being out.  It's a good day.  Feels more like spring than winter, if I hope we have a good, long, wet even if that makes it colder spring.  Need water?  Almost always, I suspect.  It sure couldn't hurt... until it does.  :p  That is the damnable part of the need for farming and farmers.  Water, wind, sun, too much, too little, or at the wrong times.  If the fact that we aren't all starving isn't proof of God...

Oh, I best deal with the rabbits.  Had to warm there water, was moving slow, kept forgetting.  I'll... get to it.  Then I'll need an half hour to hour to dry my hair.  I just don't do hairdryers.  Women shouldn't either.  But you just can't tell them.  I know, they need their hair to be just so... competing with Sue neighbor lady, Ann the mail woman, Eve the... you get the point.  They do it for points, mostly against other women, some small part for their ego, and a tiny bit for men... especially after married.  Though... that's boring, so... almost more for other men... for drama, jealousy, or that hope for the monogamous nice alpha provider doctor.  *grins*

Anyway... the water will be ready in about ten.  Then on to that, drying my hair, and hopefully getting to bed in an hour or three.  Good morning, day, and night.

Strange.

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Okay, first?  The ducks.  They must be hiding?  Yesterday night, I counted two.  Last night?  It looked like only one (of the indian runners) was in the hutch.  They can't fly in, as the muscovys may.  So, if they aren't in, they are out.  If they are out and alive, they might show up later but not in the hutch.  It's... not possible for them to get in.  Yet, yesterday, and this morning, they were all three in the outbuilding.  I haven't lost one, or two...  Bleh... silly birds are trying to depress me!

The other thing is this morning I am up well past yesterday morning.  I have been awake all night.  I haven't done a great deal.  Even supper was remnants from the night before, right down to it being leftovers from the pot, not just the main base.  I mean, I had pulled some off the main stocks, and made a soup with that.  But had only had one draw off it.  There were two draws remaining... were.  Very good.

I am just not doing well.  Tired, beyond belief.  And, yet, not sleepy tired.  Blood sugar, strangely, isn't going below 250.  Ah... I... think I might know the problem.  I'll... try to fix that.  Sometimes, when I am really tired, I can't think my way around keto, or much else.  I... think I know what the problem is.  Well, and I haven't had kefir in a bit.  Today, hopefully, milk... or soon.  And extra.  I just wasn't able to get out for more milk myself.  And I really wanted to get out for it.

I used up the last pot.  Still, might set out a small amount and make one last bit of soup, or stew, for before bedtime.  That truly is delicious, and warming.  My feet have been like icicles lately.  Soup before bed might help.  I have been taking insulin, slow acting now... sheesh, regularly.  I may begin adding in fast acting, but just at the 8 cc's.  At least for a while.  I've been stuck at 250 for several days now.  Though... if I change the problem?  But... I need the problem food, for now?  Bleh.  If I could make a keto bread, I'd be good.  Just... can't focus.  I'll... work on things.

Later, or good night... day... morning... all the above, if I go to bed.  Or you do.

I keep being amazed.

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It isn't just the soup, as it ended up tonight.  The flavors, textures, simple spices, but how absolutely filling it is.  Two medium to large bowls of the stuff absolutely stuff me.  But... it's... mostly water.  This wasn't even thick tonight.  but it had enough veggies to keep something, besides water, in two thirds of the spoons.  Might be a small bit, but... excellent.  I didn't even add chicken meat to this, or very very little.  I used the remainder of the mushrooms... all that was good of what I had purchased.  Less than a single package, perhaps half, served for a full day pot of soup.

I crashed this morning, shortly after the last post.  I thought I might be able to make it.  I did chores, but didn't remember doing them.  Then I crashed so hard it almost hurt.  I would guess between 06:30 and 08:00?  I... just don't know.  I didn't wake until 18:36?  I think so... a text.  It had been sent earlier, but phones don't log when sent, but when received.  Bleh.

The youngling... a man, just a younger one... visited.  Trying to figure out some tools and toys.  He has been working on a cutting board... a family heirloom which broke.  Tools for it, some mine, some his, got it going.  He... did a pretty good job.  I got to see the work.  I thought the whole epoxy thing, in woodworking, was probably bogus.  I... guess not.  He seems confident in how to do it.  I... might... if some things happen, get into woodworking?  In any case, I see something is real that I thought was fiction.

But, I also purchased staples, which probably don't fit the tool of mine for which I purchased them.  He might be able to use them.  I have replaced some of the nails he allowed me to use, but not the staples.  If it works with his, but not mine... I'll give them to him.  Otherwise I need to take them back.  I'll pick up some I can use, and probably a pack for him as well.  Business is paying back, plus a bit if possible.

A shower was never taken.  I was lucky to do chores.  As I said, I fell so hard I wasn't sure if I had done chores.  Ducks are in, earlier, when I woke.  I've been letting the rabbits enjoy their water.  I'll collect and refill those in a bit.  Then to shower, shave, and perhaps do dishes through the night?  So tired.  Maybe make it to the post, never did that either.  Ugh.

Oh, I passed a few extra dollars, for extra milk.  I have been going through kefir like crazy, but haven't been able to get out and pick up more milk.  Everything is down to starter cultures.  Tomorrow is new milk, so should be okay.  Oh, and I filtered out a quart of whey from the last, overdone, kefir jar.  All good, I had wanted to get whey.  I put a bit of it in a container of fresh salsa from the store.  I'll turn it, and burp it, from time to time.  It is is the store, airtight, container, so needs air occasionally anyway.  I'd also like to get cabbage, and try probiotic homemade sauerkraut, and make a jar... a pint or two or quart... of fermented red onion.

The life of a foodie?  Who knew?  It isn't... easy.  But it isn't hard.  It's a matter of getting into a pattern.  My problem is my pattern is all over hell, back, and on up.  I travel long, hard, and wide, if with attention to God.  I do His will.  Hey, don't think I'm the only one He sent to hell... even the one that He loves more than... anything we here understand.  And, still... He never asks of us what He wouldn't, hasn't, done Himself.  *wink*

Later.

Just some... random vids...

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They seemed to tie together.  I had to chuckle, and post.  They were, actually, the first responses to the dream music vid response... both from out there, somewhere.  I wasn't sure I'd print, but... it's... now seeming tamer than other things I printed.  So... here it goes.  Oh, what does it mean?  Who knows.  I just saw a sequence which... caught my eye.  After some choosing and carving, this is... what remained.

Still awake.

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Not a bad thing.  The heart is a bit tired, the body seems to be pushing rather than me... or my will.  I'm not sure why, or how it can, but it does from time to time.  No work yet, not even the shower.  But that is going to happen soon, then a trip to the post office.  At least, if something is back being held, it will be easy to get.  I know, but running so hard, slow, and off the day cycle, it's been difficult to get in.

How long will I stay awake into the day?  I just don't know.  My heart, literally, is a bit sore from the recent stretches.  Is that dangerous?  Maybe, off meds.  It isn't a terrible pain, just... a soft, gently and softly frequent throbs of minor... soreness.  Like if you used your biceps a bit much, or to a greater than usual load, but not to the point of shredding... just... extended use, and you are feeling it.  Only, in my case, of the heart.

I put most of the soup up, but left enough out to make a day pot full.  To this I added cauliflower, broccoli, the few mushrooms which were good, and a lot of kale... cut into tinier bits.  I'll go larger on the kale, next time.  If I end up sleeping, and there are remnants for later, I will add one of the root veggies, diced and possibly quartered for parts.  It's a wonderful bite.  

Might try one or two raw.  It gives... an idea of when and how to use it in other ways... perhaps ogroten?  Tasting things in raw and cooked form adds to the culinary... dictionary?  Something as such.  Even if you don't like it, one way, the other, or all ways... it's worth it to know.  Perhaps even to try, or figure out from the taste, to like the food item.  Tasting is initially, sometimes, a test.  But it should become a joy, as your tastes mature, and you do.  Amen.

Yes, more videos.  These should, mostly... be manageable.  Squirrels, girls... women, and cats... girl cats... seem to share problems.  Not... exactly.  But you will get the idea.

Seriously good stew.

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From salt level to garlic, fat to thickness, meat amount to mirepoix balance, it is perfect.  To... my tastebuds.  I can't make it better.  Now, each time I pull some out and revive it, with additional veggies and water, I'll need to be cautious.  It could thin out too much.  Still, if the flavor is there, I don't terribly mind?  It's... just... I really like it thick... stewy.

I didn't add any extra veggies, but I do have a fairly big bag of mixed carrots, celery, broccoli, and cauliflower.  I had mushrooms, but those are gone.  More would be nice.  Oh, I have some root veggies as well... look like white carrots.  Very tasty, if you don't let them go to moosh.  One per day pot, over the next few days.

Next, to get a shower, do some dishes, set up waterers for tomorrow... and rabbit food if needed.  I'll skip laundry for tonight.  Other than getting to the post office, I am not going to do much else.  A few portions of dishes, a shower, a shave, the post office, and to bed as early as possible.  Oh, I best get slow acting insulin in.  Yeah.  I'm working on things, and it is getting better, mostly.

Mocking?

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Something.  I... didn't take it personally.  Or... did, but with understanding.  Yes, I was that guy.  Often.  I... get it.  I have definitely been on the wrong side of things.  For most of my life.

Still, I had to laugh.  All vids popped, pretty much at once.  Oh, yes, I get it.

Stew is in the making.

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Everything passed the test.  Onion has been diced, carrots and celery diced.  A big pot, going by the ingredients.  It will be a strong base, from which I will make the rest.  It should be thick and gelatinous, natively, if I will add thickener.  As the base will be cut, in time.  I am quite hungry.  Not of flesh, can tell I am going into ketosis.  The hunger is of the mind.  Real none the less.

The ducks have been put up.  An Indian runner is missing.  This is not a good thing.  These three have been inseparable since they first arrived.  It means one is dead.  If a female, either predation or on the road somewhere, if the Henry the drake, Herc probably killed him.  Though those are only likelihoods.  He might have been predated, if it was the drake.  With the hen, it would only be predation or traffic.  I may just let that breed go.

I've pulled all waterers.  Those with any volume, save two outliers, were frozen.  Hazel seems to keep just enough flow, and oddly some of the small males did the same.  The small ladies, as usual, drank it all gone, and probably and hour or two ago.  I am caught back up on watering early.  And will do my best.  If I can get to sleep earlier tonight, I may be able to rise around 08:00?  One can hope.

The onions were cooking down.  I just added the carrots and celery.  At low, five, maybe ten minutes, and I'll add stock, water, and thickener.  When I have what I want with that, as I am turning off the heat, I will add the chicken.  It doesn't need to cook.  After an half hour of cooling from there, I'll have a bowl to start off the evening.  After that, when I can, a shower, then setting up dishes.  Other work as able, between breaks.

I'll hit the girls' litter after the next mussing with soup.  I've been keeping up on them, that, the critters, and even myself, a bit better lately.  I only stumbled, didn't fall... this time.  And, just for a bit, if I am still moving slowly and with great effort.  All good.  No pain no gain?  Not... really, I'm not looking for gain.  If I thought enough pain would work though, I'd try it... manufactured pain.  It seems my body collapses long before I can get to that sort of thing, no matter what the outcome might be.  I keep trying, even so.

Later.

Slightly cranky, at waking.

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A bit of it is from recovery from extreme dehydration.  Though some of it is from lack of sleep.  Milder than yesterday, by far.  But it is still slightly rough.  A spike through the left, rear, part of my skull, on up to the upper mid fore area, causing a milder sort of migraine.  Light hurts, sound is a bit much, but I am distant from the pain.  Since I never got to the anacin, I am hitting ibuprofen immediately tonight.

Lack of sleep?  Yes.  I had to check, the last text before bedtime.  Actually, I almost never text.  This time, right as I was going down, I called my mother and texted a kintype.  It was right before 16:00, six minutes before so I am calling it 16:00... bedtime.  If I suffer for it, I... am pleased I was able to stay awake so late.  I woke right at 20:00, after fighting to stay down since 18:00.  Crazy.

A few things tonight.  A shower, another load of laundry, some dishes loaded in and maybe finished.  Well, and of course chores.  Food, if I can find something to cook.  Or thawing meats for a new try soon.  I am sure I have something, even if it is raw vegetables, a fatted coffee, and a handful of nuts or two.  Pretty much what I have been eating anyway, the last few days.

Blood sugar is being weird.  Eating pure keto for the last few days, and calorie deficient beyond, it has reversed course, going up fifty points.  I am pretty sure this is a fasting test, though days and nights are mixed up, and continuing to spin.  I... think I remember that happening.  So tired, in one way, and hurting enough, I can't recall well.

Yea, a bit of work tonight.  Cleaning and a shower, plus a bit more if possible.  Then, hopefully, to bed as early as possible.  I am trying to spin days and nights back around, to maybe get to the V.A. early next week.  It's all I can do with what I have.  So tired, but smoothing out?  Yeah.  Hmm, might set up medicines as well.  I have one other thing to do with lawyers and ssa and then I can just wait.  I should check mail tonight, as well.  Ugh.  If it's in, then seeking a lawyer.  Bleh.

Later.

Staying awake is becoming shaky.

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Still, It is nearing 13:00.  It took me that long to get to chores.  Those done, as well as cats fed, plus their litter earlier, regardless of what else might be good, this is probably it for the day... other than staying awake a while longer if possible.  Just a few more hours is the goal, four at most, an hour more at least?  One can try, hope, work at something.

It was bright, first thing.  It has since clouded over, mostly.  I sure enjoyed the sparkle of the sun.  It seems like the world is smiling, more so if the sun has mostly been under clouds recently.  In spite of the sun shine, it was a bit cooler out there.  At 15 degrees, there was a bite to it.  It could be much colder, and reasonably given the date.  Yet, it was 32 to 38 a lot of the last few days... week?  I knew that spring-like weather wouldn't last, but it can throw you.

Beside it being cooler, it is crisp out there.  I suspect all the moisture, from melting, which had risen a bit above the ground, just froze again... or is in the process.  Nippy indeed.

Not... bad.  I'll take more anacin as I am still managing the trailing end of, probably, dehydration sickness.  I am hoping to sleep very soundly through the day.  Since I just fed the girls, and I have removed the ac's, which were being used as perches for birds and driving Sassy to vomitous excitement, I will allow them up, see how they do.  I do like their company, when they aren't upsetting me so.

Still, not a bad run... given the starting gate situation.  While most of that is gone, I still have the shakes from that initial condition.  It was hard on me.  It was hard on my heart.  Odd how that can work.  I am so ready for bed.  Anacin and to bed?  Yea, might as well.  I made it to a point were regaining daytime might be feasible.  Good afternoon and day.

Feeling much better.

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I don't quite understand.  I woke so broken feeling that I wasn't sure about some things.  Sure, I wasn't able to work.  But I have been awake... from 16:00 to 10:00, so far.  I am just about to hit chores.  I probably won't do much more, but I will probably be awake for a while longer.  Noon?  14:00?  18:00?  Who knows.  I would guess between the last two.

I tried tylenol first?  That simply didn't work.  Later I took anacin, which did work.  Oddly, those two usually work on the same types of pain.  Why I went with anacin anyway?  I try to, mostly, use aspirin.  The others aren't as good with a bad ticker.  I attempt to follow manufacturers recommendations.  Well, third party, hopefully, indentured servants to the Manufacturer anyway.

Though, possibly, the pain was in small, if probably large or nearly totally due to dehydration.  I was getting swelling, so I took a few waterpills.  I... don't think the swelling was from excessive hydration.  It was inflammation, of some sort.  So, I drained, drained more, and didn't have enough to cover that.  I... am pretty sure.  I know how that feels, and it felt like it... on steroids.

Oh, beside women and war, something else I am dreaming of is...

The things suggested... remembered.

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I think the dream... it... caused some to visit, present, remember.  Yes, I... see.  I love to see.  I see well, deeply.  Especially when that is the intent of the other.

A grant, gift, or curse?  The case isn't my concern.  I am... satisfied.

As for my part.

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Bumped into this a day or two ago.  I hadn't watched it.  Until after the dream.  Yea.

A very long sleep.

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I woke so sore, stiff, rough.  I tried to wake earlier, several times.  No doing.  Wow!  It's 16:00?  Wow.  I... thought it was a bit after noon... given the last time I looked at the clock and that I thought I woke right after?  Wow.  Still tired.  Had to get up.  Things to do.  So sore, stiff, though it is possibly fading already.  Will see in a short bit.

Oh, it wasn't a four percent rise in blood sugar, it was a one percent rise.  My mistake.  I missed an inverse multiplier.  About the kefir...  And blood sugar dropped over a hundred, with just one dose of slow acting, last night as I went to bed.  I wonder if that is part of the problem?  Some sort of adjustment period?  I've never tried it alone.  Oh... not a bad thing, just something... to know.  I have never tried it, starting it up all on it's own.  So, yea, maybe.

So odd how fast insulin will bring diabetes under control.  If I could just stay on meds, on top of them, life would be easier.  I think, at times, the docs think I am just being recalcitrant.  Trust me or not, that isn't a part of my gig.  Especially now that I trust the meds, and believe they are better than the disease.  They help me function, from modestly to a lot.  My problem is being able to take them, on my own.  And, then, getting back on them when I have fallen off them.  These meds?  If there was an automatic injection method?  I would use it.  In... theory.

Three dreams.

--------------

The first one was very simple.  I had a friend, a biker type who either hadn't entered the darker aspects of that notion, or who had extracted himself from it, mostly, by the time I met him.  A good friend, I think for both our parts.  We both had horrors back there, whether for good or ill is of no concern for anyone at this point.  You can tell another, and a former, when you meet one.

Well, he... came to a difficulty.  Someone had wronged him, or to his mind, and I would agree.  But, the wronging and his solution did not match.  He was planning to do an evil to cover a minor slight.  I... spoke with him.  I cannot make choices for a man.  I can only tell him my thoughts, and react to his actions.  And, so it went.  I let him know what I thought.

I also let him know, if he went through with this, we were quits.  I told him he was heading back to where he came, and that the road from hell was a long and difficult one.  A path he had taken once.  The chance of making it out again was... even more unlikely than the first.  I implored him to let go and leave justice to reality, or God, or whoever does these things.  Humility is superior, but has a cost.  Amen.

--------------

The next one was rather long and involved.  Far too many details for me to include fully.  I'll... try to hit the major points.

I was out in the hinterlands, shooting a pneumatic rifle, driving my suv.  I ran out of air, then realized my tires were flat.  Just as I realized that, a couple drove up.  The man stepped out, and asked if he could look at the rifle.  Sure, I suggested, but it is out of air, as are my tires, I said with a bit of pepper.  He approached, and took the rifle.  As he was fiddling with it, he suggested that he could help with both.

It was an m-16 look-alike.  It had single to full automatic fire, three settings in total.  The weight was right.  Even the power of the bb's or pellets was rather significant.  And it was accurate and fun to shoot.  Of course, not all the parts were needed, and some were just molded on.  Even so, I enjoyed it and he was quite keen on it.  His wife had no interest at all.

After tinkering, I put the rifle away and we piled into his smaller vehicle.  I sat in the back, thankfully, so I could stretch a bit.  Then on to the next town with a gas station.  We spoke on the way.  He was a vet, too.  I can't remember if he said what branch, or time, as we mostly spoke of the V.A.  He must have been disabled, to some degree, as well.  We agreed, sometimes it was good, sometimes it was bad.  It depended on if the panel of doctors decided to work with you or not, or some such.  If they decided not to help you, pretty much none of the doctors there would help.

We discussed various other topics as we drove, nothing worth noting, but... yea... I remember.

We got to the station.  He had a five gallon tank in the trunk, filled it.  Should have brought the gun, though I don't think that takes much.  More worried the tank would be enough to top off the tires and the gun?  I don't know.  While filling it, I ordered something to eat, as did they.  I offered but they were good.  We returned and filled what of the tires we could.  Looks like another trip was required, this time I grabbed the rifle too.

We returned to the place, filled up, but the drives were long and it was getting late.  He suggested we call it a night, there was a hotel next door.  They got a room, and I got one next door.  Sometime in the night I woke.  As it turns out, he was an assassin, but here to do a job for his own purposes.  When in assassination mode, he wore silver paint on his skin.  To some, that would mean they couldn't recognize him.

For me, it made two things absolutely clear.  Who the assassin was... and that, in fact, he was a woman.  She recognized that I recognized who... and what... she was.  And, she was thinking through exactly how best to handle this.  I raised my right hand, palm out, and nodded.  She... understood.  Being right near my door, I hailed her enter and went in first.  She followed.

She explained her intention, and why.  It was an evil for an evil.  I still suggested she not, but this was not my call.  We ended up speaking about other things.  She... wasn't a lesbian.  Her friend was just part of the cover, without fee since she agreed with the assassination... had her own part in the reasoning.  A prop.  We spoke of other things.  She suggested I must have had some... involvement in her... profession... to have been able to spot her, and in how I was dealing with it all.

I merely suggested that my involvement was... a bit different, if striking similarities might be found, at times.  I wasn't actually highly paid, or "wild", but more... digital to her analog.  And, not always was her ends and mine the same.  Actually, she caught on immediately.  More so when earlier conversation pieces added up.  I suggested her business was hers, and I would not choose either way.

She went about her business, if I think she was more cautious and... precise... than she had at first intended.  I like to think our conversation prevented an all out slaughter.  Just those who were to die, died.  Clean, precise, probably for her cold.  I don't understand, at this point, why assassinations must be associated with negative emotions.  If they are a right act, they should be... thought of... warmly.

I slept the night, waking unsure how events would unfold.  I didn't think she would attempt to kill me.  Though I wasn't sure they would drive me back to my vehicle.  A knock.  I answered.  She, now back in he form, suggested we would be heading out, to my vehicle, in an half an hour... if I wanted a shower.  We would have breakfast first though, on the way.

I showered, and was well ready.  We headed out, a local greasy spoon actually served good food.  Then on to the suv.  We spoke, this time with everybody knowing everything... give or take.  She had... backtracked, somehow, to my blog.  And they had... consumed... me in a night.  I am always... unsure... what people will take from these pages.  Women have a very different take from men, if both can be excessively negative, or positive.  I... just never know.  I suppose it depends on what they see, or first, and how they interpret.  The horror, the... horror?  Well, rage to sorrow to laughs to tears.  Despising my thoughts, to understand, even agreeing, despite holding contrary thoughts.

Well, it... went well.  In the end, we... left as friends.  Oh, and she got to shoot my m-16 pneumatic, and quite enjoyed.  I am almost guessing, if she is in a dream again, she will be... a galpal.

update:

A shower.

.

.

I had actually gone on to bed.  My inability to focus meant it was twenty after midnight.  I was just settling in, when a second wind came upon me and I was able to... think.  I really wanted a shower, it was making it past the exhaustion, then staying up to let the hair dry.  I started thinking it was possible, but sleep was right there!  I so wanted to sleep!

But, no.  Not with the ability to function.  I wanted a shower more.  And was willing to try to suffer through the hour or two to dry off.  And, so it goes.  The shower was fantastic.  And, I have decided, going commando doesn't work as well as it initially seemed.  Under shorts to be warn, changed as often as I can think of it, and... just suffer.  Acidity should be in decline as well.

If I can, while letting my hair dry, I will set up dishes.  I still want another shower tomorrow.  Showering daily doesn't even help with the acidity, at least when I was drinking the most, not even two showers a day... which is a bit much for it's own purposes.  Yes, dishes, just two smaller loads.  If I am not ready to wash them again, first thing, I'll just dump them and shower.

A bit of internet surfing, then maybe some gaming, perhaps with dishes in there somewhere... or not.  Then to bed.  It is still an earlier bedtime, after a shorter day?  I think so.  I may be able to be up around dawn, give a few hours possibly.  To the post office, it is hoped.  Then just some dishes, another load of laundry, and perhaps some work in the bathroom.  Oh, and food... cooking... if it works out.  I think so.  Things are looking, and going, up.

Later, or good night.

Nothing more.

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.

I am crashing so hard, have been for a while.  I can't stay awake, or do much.  Thirsty.  Another dose of kefir, if only 6 to 8 ounces.  A supper earlier, the last of the meat pies.  Waterers were brought in, as well as fresh water to change those out.  I left one waterer out, oddly with the bigger bucks.  They drank very little today, but were hitting the waterer furious while I was pulling them.  All the others had consumes much to most of of their water.

The girls have been fed a final time as well.  I will probably treat Sassy before I head on to bed.  I won't let them up tonight.  I need sleep too desperately.  They, or Sassy for sure, will be up every few hours.  Usually willing to settle for some scratching and massages around the head and shoulders, though hoping for a snack.  I... I just need to sleep.

I did start the slow acting insulin.  That is all I will take for, say, a week.  Then, if blood sugar sorts, I will start on the fast acting.  I will take just the recommended doses, and see if it all settles on it's own.  If, after a few weeks, it is still high, I will then add more.  Regularity, same dose, no fast changes (unless I start getting serious drops from time to time, then I'll cut a bit more.  I am afraid of this stuff sometimes.  Though, obviously, it seems, for now, that I need it... even if just to restart.

Insulin first.  I will try to get my medicine set arranged, possibly several of them.  Insulin will help the most, though the heart medicine, once I get back on it and stable, helps too.  Insulin is much easier to start, and helps faster.  It's not a perfect help, none of it, but... it's... better than not, usually.  And it does help, a little to a lot depending on the day.

I'll try to get a shower first thing, then chores, then on to dishes again.  The freezer is clear, ready for a lot more dishes.  And there really aren't that many left.  If I can do half of what has been done, perhaps a third, I will be completely caught up.  Then I can get back to cooking correctly, if the insulin and better eating works out.  Ugh.

Good evening and night.

Quite good.

.

.

The rabbits are all still in food and water aplenty.  I refreshed the duck pond.  The girls have been fed and their water refreshed.  I am not even going to have tea, which I generally dose with liquid sucrose... which, on occasion, will spike insulin.  I have cut that back to three fourths what  used to use... and then some at times.  I have tried less.  And I have tried none.  I just can't quite do that, usually.  Sometimes I can drink plain tea with a meal.

I am down to between one and two gallons a day.  Yea, I have been up to as much as five gallons.  Heat or higher blood sugar, worse?  Both.  But most of this winter I was at four gallons.  A few times I dropped lower, and am dropping lower again.  Medicine helped last time, this time it is just kefir.  It acts as a diuretic, at least to me.  Otherwise my ankles would be huge.  They do swell, from time to time, but nothing like in the worst or even usual cases.

Okay, one odd thing about kefir?  It has been creating a crotch itch I can barely stand.  I think it makes the urine acidic.  Which, with even just a tiny bit getting into unders (impossible not to have that happen, no matter how long you shake that damned thing, trust me).  So?  I... tried an adult baby powder, and an actual talc powder.  Those, slightly, helped.  Not enough.  So?  I went commando!  And, yes, that actually works.  Zippers are my new fear.  :p  Hmm, perhaps my long johns will work?  No, I change underwear twice a day, whether I shower or not.  So... I tried three changes a day, but it just didn't help.

Then again, I am drinking... was drinking... three, four, perhaps even five glasses a day, probably averaging 12 ounces per.  I have cut back to three to four, and am trying to drink it only when I eat something else, save morning, and sometimes at night if I am hungry before bedtime.  But, too, smaller doses... from 14 for breakfast to 6 to 8 ounces before a meal and at night.  I might even be cutting those.  Difficult to keep up on kefir production.  I might try to get two more gallons of milk this week, maybe next too?  Then start backing it all down.  I have enjoyed, will continue to enjoy, just not at that level.

A shower, after I catch my breath.  A shave too, sooner or later.  Then setting pretty much the rest of the dishes up, and hitting those a few times.  Soup, too, if the meat still smells good.  I am so hungry for soup.  But, if not, a quick trip to the store soon, for fresh veggies and meats.  Plus maybe milk and... a few other things?  We will see.  Later.

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Better still.  I checked blood sugar after a bit more than an hour.  Any rise should have been seen, and at it's highest, at that point.  There was about a 4% rise in blood sugar, after sixteen ounces of kefir.  So... I'm calling that good.  I won't worry about kefir.  If... I would like to check it a few more times.  In the various ways I serve it, and as I did tonight... plain.  As well, I would like to see if it alters other foods.  Since I eat soup for a week at a time, that would be a good thing to use as a study.  I'd place a small wager that four to six ounces of kefir, before a meal, makes even a keto meal more keto.  A theory is made to be proven or disproven, or conditionally either way.

I am pleased with the kefir.  I had... some worries.  Just, something, in the back of my mind.  And, others have voiced some wonder... concern?  At least preliminarily it seems kefir is good.  Everything has limits.  Well, and there is the commando thing.  But... Geronimo!  :p  Just watch that zipper, or whatever else.  And... shake that thing and wipe really well.  It's... all good.  Later.