Self control, with a little help from a Friend.

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I realize, as I am putting my life and self into order, that the rest of life seems to fall into line. As I am learning to control my lust, I find that women seem to naturally find their place in our dealings rather than trying to create a place. As I am learning to control greed, fear, and other emotions and notions, my needs are more easily met, my money even when some of it gets stolen, lasts longer and fits my needs more fully and then my wants are easier to prioritize and facilitate. It really is up to me, as an individual, to put my life in order so that life makes sense. The government cannot help. The church may be used as a tool in a general way, and sometimes specifically. And friends and family have their places too. But those are more like seasoning to a meal. Either the meal holds up, plates, and is happily consumed on it's own, or the dish fails regardless of what has been added to it.

I did research the USU (Utah State University) last night while not sleeping. To be honest, it looks much like the UoI. Academically, socially, egalitarian and all. I am thinking about things, and this is one of them. I am not sure I would be ready to begin this fall, or ever. But living so close to a new chance would allow me to peak in and see if I could handle going. Living in the area a bit, I could easily find out if the environment is as hostile to my beliefs, adding to the difficulty of the course work, or not hostile and lending some solace to my intellectual sojourn. I am not sure whether this is even where I will settle down in the first place. Then again, I am a man of questions. And a man of hope, if it does not always show.

They do have electrical engineering, but they also have the usual roundup of engineering offerings, to include aeronautical engineering, something I am somewhat unfamiliar with. It seems as if aeronautical engineering is a slice from mechanical engineering. I know, if nothing else, should I decide to go back to school, I would like to re-evaluate my major. I have done little in the way of electrical engineering core. I have done just about everything but that, to include some of my senior options. Why, I cannot say. It seems that what was available and how I was being guided gave me everything but what I was going into, for course work. I think the only things I would need to get other than core are physics II and an upper level economics course. The rest is simply core.

I will be keeping some things available when I go. I have some materials which have helped me freshen up my physics, calculus, and general lower math skills quickly and easily. Those will be kept with the clothes I am taking to the apartment. As well, and depending on the size of the place, I may be taking my weights and abdominal machine. I think my computers will work for viewing the DVD portions of my refresher courses. I do not want a television, DVD player, VHS, and probably not even an internet connection. I would guess, in a college town, I can use hotspots to browse, blog if I want (and more privately), and use my email accounts. I want the cave to be barren, with three provisios. I would like to at least have a microwave oven and refrigerator of some type and I will need air conditioning of some sort. The rest will be as spartan and utilitarian as possible. I even hope the bed is lumpy, so long as it is clean.

While looking at the University web pages, I also looked at what the school offers for both students and the public. They have a decent swimming pool, several clubs I would be interested in from climbing, hiking, backpacking, canoeing/kayaking, to snow skiing and shooting. If I end up back in school or not, I think many of these things would still be somewhat available to me, if at a slightly higher cost. All of the offering are reasonable, even at the higher cost. Going out cross country or telimarx skiing, for the first time, with people who know what they are doing, would be worth any extra money. I would also guess, as I get there and look around, I will find other sources for groups, learning, and activity.

In the end, however, it comes down to me. I have to place calls, meet people, pay fees, and ultimately get off my butt and go do. I think the world according to me comes down to that. I am not sure I can do it, but the world, there, most likely, truly is my oyster in a bay full of easy to get oyster. All I have to do is wade in, wade out, and if I am picky, add my own salt and lemon or lime. I think this is my final chance at whatever I decide or can do. And, I will either learn to live there or I will die there. I like that, too. In 3 to 6 months I will know what is to be my fate.

Well, back to work. I think I have some gumption and I will use it. Be well, have a good day, and may you find something, many things, to be grateful to have, know, hold, or look forward to in your real or even imagined future. I worry, though I should not worry, about you too. Every one of you. Good day.